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mental image of ed sprawled out on top of stede on the couch and just barely clinging to consciousness by his fingertips and stede notices ed’s starting to drool on his chest a little so he goes “time for bed, do you think?” and ed mumbles the sleepiest “nn nnno.”

“if we go to bed,” stede coaxes, “we can fall asleep there…”

“mmnnnot even sleepy.”

“we could have covers on top of us. nice and cosy.”

“i’m your cover.”

“but you’re not covered. aren’t you cold?”

“i’m tough.”

“okay.”

“i can do it all.”

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Happy Whump Ed Wednesday Thursday. Speaking of Ed fainting. Here is probably my favorite bit of Ed internal monolog I've ever written.

As for fainting ... Ed couldn't faint. He had shit to do.

There were responsibilities, everyday tasks, and then there was this. There was knowing that if you fainted, you might wake in your bed in your dark cabin having missed the chance your crew needed to survive.

Or perhaps not. The crew was competent. There was no reason to think they needed him, specifically. Except. Except that it was his job.

Anyway. Sinking. The ship was sinking and that was bad.

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Sometimes it absolutely fucking wrecks me thinking about how alone Ed must have felt for a good chunk of s2.

Izzy never treated Ed in public like he did in private, so we can understand why the crew didn't Get It, but hearing Jim say to Ed that Izzy "was his friend" really stings. One of the things that still really gets to me is how Ed was so afraid in the gravy basket that no one would even care if he lived or died, and then he wakes up and is immediately tossed off the ship (again, the crew deserve to be mad, but STILL). He has just been so isolated and misunderstood.

And then I think about Jim and the rest of the crew happily welcoming Ed to the Calypso's Birthday party, and it's not all fixed, but...yeah. What a treat, for Ed to get to start to feel the acceptance he was barred from getting last season.

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My whump loving ass when the Ed and Stede torture scene was only a few seconds long

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Baby Stede who is a picky eater being made to sit and finish his plate of food in the school cafeteria while everyone else gets to go and play outside :( and he can’t stop crying cause he feels humiliated but the idea of actually eating the food is even worse

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I, uh... *cough* drew a thing

Kink or whump, who's to say...

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stede, wrapped around ed like a dumpling, in a tentatively cheerful whisper: …hey,

ed, still sniffly but mostly cried out: mm?

stede: …i’ve got one for you.

ed, perking up a little bit: oh—yeah? alright, go ahead

stede: what would you do…

ed: mhm?

stede: …if we lived on a cloud?

ed: ….if we lived on a cloud?

stede: mhm. if we lived, let’s say, on a landscape of clouds and our house was on a cloud. made of clouds, maybe.

ed: oh. what do they feel like? are they soft?

stede: of course! they’re, mmm…something like rabbit fur? but not as smooth.

ed: hmm

stede: puffy. cottony.

ed: and it’s everywhere, right? all over the place?

stede: it’s everywhere. we’re living in cloudland.

ed: ok. umm. well first thing i’d do i think is… play with the clouds?

stede, rubbing ed’s back encouragingly: oh yeah?

ed: like maybe… maybe we go outside and pick up some cloud and it’s soft and. it’s dry, but kind of… squidgy, almost. and. so maybe you can. you can make it into shapes

stede: ooh, what kind of shapes?

ed: i think i’d try to make a kite. d’you think—

stede: that’s a fun choice, i like that

ed: because—well, ok, does air pass through it? the clouds—cloudstuff?

stede: this stuff? not all the air, i don’t think so

ed: because clouds sail, y’know, they sort of…sail across the sky, that’s the wind. and these clouds are even more solid, cause we’re standing on them

stede: so you could make a kite. i could see that

ed: yeah and weave some—and spin some string for it

stede: i’ll make the tail

ed: ok. make it a really fancy one though

stede: oh, i will, i promise

ed: maybe it—

stede: fancy.

ed: maybe it’s got a swirl to it. a little swirl

stede: like a spiral?

ed: mhm. yeahp. like a—or a, a, it’s got lace trim, or a—ruffly, maybe.

stede: i could do that. i think i could

ed: ruffly lace

stede: maybe a fringe? maybe ribbons

ed: im putting fringe on the kite too

stede: oh, all round the edges?

ed: yeah i think so

stede: now, what shape is this? standard diamond?

ed: well yeah that’s what i was…or…we could do more of—it could be something cool, i guess, like a dragon

stede: ahhhh that would look neat, wouldn’t it. with a ruffly tail

ed: yeayeayea a fancy kind of tail, right, and scales. lacy scales

stede: oh, that’s brilliant

ed: it’s not too complicated, though?

stede: no, i’m picturing it right now. i think it looks fantastic

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things for ed to say right before passing out

“hang on i gotta sit down”

“babe, are you ok? you’re ok, right?”

“why’s it dark. did it just get dark all of a sudden? are you seeing—oh k, maybe it’s me then”

“actually, with enough discipline, you can do fine on just one hour of sleep per night”

“right. so. think i’ll pass out now. you got this 👍”

“i’m gonna take a lil nap, hold on”

“hey that’s blood. is that mine? it doesn’t look like mine”

“i’m actually so completely fine right now,”

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things for ed to say right before passing out

“hang on i gotta sit down”

“babe, are you ok? you’re ok, right?”

“why’s it dark. did it just get dark all of a sudden? are you seeing—oh k, maybe it’s me then”

“actually, with enough discipline, you can do fine on just one hour of sleep per night”

“right. so. think i’ll pass out now. you got this 👍”

“i’m gonna take a lil nap, hold on”

“hey that’s blood. is that mine? it doesn’t look like mine”

“i’m actually so completely fine right now,”

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Hm. Potential extensions of Ed and Stede's trauma into their new life that make me want to rip the door off my fridge

Stede losing sleep because he Needs to lay very specifically with a palm over Ed's chest to make sure he's always breathing, and he keeps waking Ed up in a panic because he thinks he can't feel him breathe

Thunderstorms Freak Ed The Fuck Out. On stormy days he needs to be bundled up in a blanket fort with lots of scented candles lit and his hands over his ears

it starts out sweet, but Stede is maybe a bit obsessive over making sure Ed is always wearing warm socks

They have to get into the habit of leaving each other notes when they leave the house, no matter how briefly, no matter if they're getting something that's supposed to be a surprise. Too many sobbing meltdowns otherwise

Sick, feverish Ed freaks out when Stede tries to feed him soup, terrified he's back in the gravy basket

Again, at first it just comes across as chivalrous, but Stede is a bit too gung-ho about wanting to bite everyone who so much as looks at Ed wrong in the throat

Ed cannot STAND the taste of alcohol anymore, his reaction to even the smell is so bad that they can't keep it in the house

Stede's marriage feelings are Weird. At first he doesn't even grasp that Ed would want that so much. Then he keeps putting off asking him because he was a bad husband before and he doesn't want to fuck it up again

It's the first time Ed's actually been safe in his entire life. For a few months he's so jumpy just waiting for the other shoe to drop that he accidentally punches a hole through the wall because of imagined attackers. twice. Stede lets him hide a bunch of weapons around the house and make a panic room in the basement and dig an escape hatch through their bedroom floor because like. what else can you even say about that to a guy who has lived a life where he's in very real danger of people skinning him alive for fucking up? at least it helps him feel safer

once they get settled in the worst disagreement is over whether or not they should get a horse. Stede keeps hinting at it VERY hard and whenever Ed asks him what he wants for birthdays and holidays he says "a horse" in that tone that's joking but also Not. Ed hates this bit (he is scared of horses)

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things for ed to say right before passing out

“hang on i gotta sit down”

“babe, are you ok? you’re ok, right?”

“why’s it dark. did it just get dark all of a sudden? are you seeing—oh k, maybe it’s me then”

“actually, with enough discipline, you can do fine on just one hour of sleep per night”

“right. so. think i’ll pass out now. you got this 👍”

“i’m gonna take a lil nap, hold on”

“hey that’s blood. is that mine? it doesn’t look like mine”

“i’m actually so completely fine right now,”

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Thought for whump Ed wednesday: Ed getting hurt and, before he can even panic for his own sake, Stede comes to rescue him and he's visibly shaken and upset to see Ed hurt, so Ed has to immediately pivot into comforting Stede and promising him he's okay

So by the time they make it home, Stede's got the situation under control and Ed's been repeating he's okay so much he's halfway fooled himself. And then he's like wait. Why is he so nauseous and shaky? Would Stede still love him if he passes out? He's definitely gonna pass out - yup there he goes

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Thinking about what a ball of stress and anxiety and yet also relief Stede must have been on that first night having Ed back. He was probably in and out of bed all night worrying about Ed being okay, making sure he was really still there alive and breathing. But also relief that Ed wasn’t actually dead, all mixed with the feeling knowing he almost lost him. All he probably wanted to do was snuggle up to Ed and listen to his heartbeat but they just weren’t at that point yet so all Stede could do was toss and turn and walk around the ship and periodically check in on Ed (who he gave the bed in the captain’s cabin to of course)

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If I could turn the page In time, then I’d rearrange Just a day or two (Close my, close my, close my eyes) But I couldn’t find a way So I’ll settle for one day To believe in you (Tell me, tell me, tell me lies)

Decided to throw some messy splotches of colour on top of a sketch I scribbled on the back of a receipt. Inspired by Ramon Casas i Carbó’s poster art. 

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surgery-type talk under cut. not very messy, but gore-adjacent and conceptually gruesome

one of the most distressing things i’ve experienced at a hospital involved no physical discomfort whatsoever—i had a couple of punch biopsies taken out of my leg and the local anesthetic the doctor used blocked my ability to feel pain but not my ability to feel mechanical touch. so for the entire duration of the procedure (the procedure where they carve a patch of skin off your body) i could feel the doctor’s hands, i could feel the mouth of the hole-punchy thing when he put it against my skin to take the samples, it created a very distinct animalistic emotion of “any second now i will begin experiencing The Pain if i do not move my leg away” meanwhile it is imperative to the procedure that you keep your leg as still as possible.

anyway. considering ed’s visited the subject of being skinned alive more than once i think it would be thematically very neat for him to have to undergo that :)

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Ofmd brainrot so bad I just saw a video of an octopus hiding itself away in a tiny hole and all I could think about was kraken Ed hiding himself away in the bed nook