#there are a few elements in here that ive drawn from personal experience but a lot of them are not. so

[ourfag]

and how to succeed in genderhood

hehehe @t4tgb asked for this one as well!!

this file is my workshop for everything relating to the transbians modern au i think ive mentioned once before on here. it’s a very long way from being written, if it ever does get written

in a lot of ways it’s a garden variety fluff piece with coffeeshop au sensibilities—everybody’s friends, interpersonal conflicts are trivial, one of the most important functions of this setting to me is creating a safe environment for ed to tumble into and gently get her egg cracked

not that it’s as simple for her as meeting a trans woman her age and going “oh why didn’t i think of that!” there’s a bit of push-and-pull she has to muddle through in terms of—actually let me just copy paste some of my thoughts on where her head is at before she comes out to herself:

With the culture Ed’s been surrounded by up until now, it’s been an easy assumption to make that Being A Man was another one of those things like swallowing live worms or playing bloody knuckles: getting yourself loaded up with as much acute misery as you can take and then parading it around like a trophy. “Look how much this pain doesn’t even bother me.”

The question, “But would you like to be seen as a woman?” draws out some tears because her approach to the image she projects has always always always been about its utility. Simply expressing herself without curating an image built around that utility is such an unfamiliar and bittersweet experience, and there’s a reason she’s spent most of her life not considering it a serious option.

she starts out with a bit of a blind spot about stede’s insecurities the same way her canon counterpart does, so there’s a period where she uses the way stede is So Obviously A Woman to her in order to kind of.. illustrate to herself why she So Obviously Isn’t, no matter how much she would like to be. and it’s not until stede Gets A Sense About Ed and starts gently sharing some of her earlier gender experiences For No Particular Reason that ed starts feeling more able to draw those connections to herself

i realize im making it sound like a really rough time but tbh it’s mostly abt watching star trek in your underpants and having tender lesbian sex. stede gets ed brainstorming potential name changes with her while she tries on flowery hats and ed is like “tbh i think the name bonnie really suits you but i can’t figure out why” and stede turns to ed and goes 😐 Bonnie Bonnet? and ed is like ohhh yeah thats why

(stede vacillates between a whole bunch of Traditionally Female names bc she feels like she Ought To Have One Of Those but her heart isnt really in it)

(she does eventually change her legal first name though)

(to Captain.)

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

im aroace... or at least thats what ive been saying i am for the past few years. the ace part hasnt changed but now im trying to figure out if im actually aro... i cant tell if im ace and gay (i may like guys and nonbinary people but as an autistic trans masc enby ive been having a hard time distinguishing between forms of attraction vs both other forms of attraction as well as gender envy) or i am in fact aroace with just a really intense squish on one person. ive only ever been any form of attracted to one singular person in my life but now i cant tell if its just platonic and im having a comp-allo moment, its romantic and i was misinterpreting it this whole time, or if its just my neurodivergency/mental illness attaching themselves to this person and making me drawn to them for that.... god this is all so complicated....

Yeah it can be hard to tell. If you want, the faq for this blog goes into some detail about telling a squish from romantic attraction. Though two big things to keep in mind too:

A. Attraction isn't always neat and easy to define the way we define it. So some people can read the differences between a squish and a romantic crush and say which one it is. Sometimes attraction just isn't that simple though. It can be hard to tell, or it can be somewhere in between.

Quoiromantic can be a useful label for this, and it's often used by people who aren't sure what their attraction is or aren't sure if they're experiencing attraction or not. (Really great breakdown in the link)

There's also gray areas like

Idemromantic: categorizing relationships as romantic or platonic but experiencing no internal differences.

Platoniromantic: romantic and platonic attraction/feelings feel the same.

Alterous attraction: a type of attraction that may include romantic and platonic elements but won't be fully either. Someone experiencing it may be happy with either a romantic or platonic relationship or a relationship that defies labels, but will want a strong emotional bond.

B. Some people have a hard time interpreting their attraction. Some people can sit and analyse their feelings and think 'yeah that feels romantic' or 'that feels platonic' but not everyone can. And romantic is very vaguely defined, and platonic (in terms of romantic attraction) really just means not romantic.

Being neurodivergent can also make interpreting attraction harder. Which sounds like could be going on here too. There's also some labels for that may be useful for that too:

Arovague: aromanticism heavily influenced by neurodiversity.

Nebula-romantic: difficulty distinguishing romantic or platonic attraction due to neurodivergency.

You don't have to adopt any of these labels (though of course if something feels worth exploring or clicks, that's great). But hopefully it can help give you something to consider or a different way to look at things.

Definitely I recommend trying to look at this subjectively. I think a lot of people approach this type of thing as searching for a singular objective truth, but when it comes to labels and identities, things like personality, culture, experiences, play a huge role in what labels make the most sense and will be the most useful for someone.

Aro is also fine to use when you're not sure if it's romantic attraction or not. And all the labels listed here can be considered to be part of the aro-spec umbrella if someone finds that a useful way to identify.

So this is probably a lot, don't feel like you have to wrap your head around it all right away. Or that you have to have things figured out right away. Take your time with things and think about what makes the most sense for you.

All the best, Anon!

[danwhobrowses]

A Personal Rant before Sword and Shield comes out

I’ve sat idly by for months, tried to weather a few negative responses but given that it’s now 6 days from release and I’m hearing that devs are getting literal death threats I’m going to put my foot down

If you’re already shitting on a game that hasn’t been released yet, you are all juvenile bitches, and I’m about to tell you why.

Before we begin, I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to dislike a game, that happens, but usually it happens after you play a game, not before.

You are viewing this game through a keyhole and judging the room and what you’re seeing is not worthy of this much hate. Let’s start with the big one Dexit: Not as Big as You Think Having No National Dex is of course not ideal, but it doesn’t ruin the game. Let’s Go has no National Dex, all it had was Alola forms and nobody whinged about it. Ruby and Sapphire didn’t have a National Dex until FRLG, and nobody whinged about it. Sun and Moon and Ultra Sun and Moon do not have a National Dex And Nobody Whinged About It Do you know why? Because it’s not actually a big deal. People who complain about it are bandwagoning because ‘Dexit’ is a meme, its name literally parodies an event in current Britain that many people don’t actually want to happen.  Now currently, the anger of Dexit is that Bulbasaur and Squirtle are not in it, which frankly is hilarious because the last wave of bitching was ‘Kanto mons are getting all the new stuff’. You wanna know how many main series versions Bulbasaur and Squirtle have not been in? Seven, only way to get them is trade and event. The other complaint is that there’s ‘only 400′ Pokémon. Remember those days where people were fine with 150? 400 is huge, in fact it’s 3 less than USUM and it’s not accounting for the Gigantamax forms Don’t let headlines fool you either, Sun and Moon had 302 Pokémon, it’s far from the ‘lowest dex number since 2003′. Do your own research with these things. Kalos’ regional dex was 151, BW2 was 300, BW 153, Sinnoh 210, RSE has 386 and GSC had 252 Don’t get me wrong, it smarts that some Pokémon isn’t there, but it’s not a dealbreaker, like let’s be honest here. For a good year and a half all your pokémon are gonna do is sit in an unused cartridge or a PC box, you’re literally whining about the fact that you can’t move your perfect IV Pokémon from one box to another. You could simply just let them stay in Let’s Go or USUM, you don’t have to use Bank or Home on continued subscription for that, so your complaints are only set on the foundation that you feel like you have to continually pay to not transfer your Pokémon, Finally, people act like these Pokémon are deleted forever, they’re not, this is for spacing to make sure this game doesn’t break down from the sheer mass of models and textures it has to maintain in a massive open world space, the local and online camping and battles. Just use the Pokémon that are there! There’s new Pokémon don’t you wanna try those? You can also look at FRLG or Emerald and consider that maybe more Pokémon will get patched in once the game proves to be stable. I don’t think you’ve noticed, but the Nintendo Switch isn’t as powerful as the other consoles out there, sometimes it runs like shit. Believe me on that one, Switch is still in a very buggy development phase. Let’s Go was kept small to test it’s capability and Sword and Shield can’t just fly in and give you all 1000 Pokémon just so one of the ones you want can be in there

You have to be much less obtuse with this, I mean this was a long time coming. You’re gonna have to live with the fact that not every Pokémon ever can be supported on one game alone. Disk, Download, Cartridge and Patch Sizes have limits in Compliance, you can’t just throw everything at it. Waah, the New Pokémon Don’t Look Good They do, you’re being petty. It happens every version, the people dislike the starter evolutions or just one in particular. Remember all the Oshawott hate? This all comes and goes because people have simply gone on the first instinct that ‘new and different is scary and should be shunned’ You’re that Simpsons meme when young Homer accuses Grandpa of not being ‘with it’ I won’t spoil to those who haven’t seen it, but I like the new starters, and some of the new Pokémon will need some growing but not every Pokémon looks good at first glance. If Mr Mime, Hypno or Gastly came out nowadays they’d be crapped on so much for lacking creativity or for looking weird. Look at Drampa as well, thing looks like Falkar from The Neverending Story, when I first saw it I thought it look weird but now I like it. You should offer these things time And actually fall back on past experience, you’re reacting like this isn’t the same thing that happens every version; the dex gets leaked, people whine about the evolutions, people get over it and accept that they overreacted. hIgH QuAlItY aNiMaTiOnS I’ve seen that video, 2 clips and you judge a whole game how classy of you? If you don’t see improvement you’re blind. You can’t shit on a game for keeping the battle animations, you can’t expect every Pokémon to move their own unique way to the exact position of the body part the opponent needs to get hit by, that’s just unrealistic. You’re also failing to equate to the new moves and all the new movesets. You have to ensure that each Pokémon is capable of calling this animation as well. The second clip in that video was Hop and Hau having the same rigging, and once again, that’s not abnormal. Rigging is not easy either, do it wrong and it sticks and deforms texture. There’s nothing wrong with Hop having one animation that matches Hau’s, you’ll probably find that many models actually have similar rigging as previous games. Because it’s not that big of a deal and it saves money, as an example look at Disney they copied hand-drawn motion and stuck a different character on them, Robin Hood’s Little John dances just like (animated, for those too young to know otherwise) Jungle Book’s Baloo The thing you’re also ignoring from that clip is the graphical improvement of Hop compared to Hau, Hau looks like a balloon with a smiley face but Hop’s face has depth and his mouth actually moves like a normal person, his clothes have far more contrast and complexity, but no just zero in on one fighting animation and one rigging that’ll surely be worth abusing a game that’s not even out... B-But Charizard I’ve already explained this before but Charizard is Leon’s main, it’s obviously going to have a Gigantamax, ergo it’s also going to be in the Dex. Does Charizard get a lot? Yes, but the reason is because Charizard is popular. One of the rarest cards is a Charizard Hologram Card, Charizard is one of the first version mascots, it is one of the most recognized Pokémon Ash has in the anime Reality of the matter is that like Pikachu, Charizard is a recognized Pokémon for all ages, it appeals to a demographic that’s not playing In Layman’s Terms: that part is not for you A reality you really need to face. Pokémon is a game for all ages, so elements of the game are not always going to be tailored to your age range. The gimmick of Dynamax and Gigantamax is for merch sales and young children because it’s got an audience there, you can’t expect the Biggest Entertainment Brand in the World to simply shut out a large fraction of its demographic just to appeal 100% to you And again, it’s not a big deal, so there’s a Charizard there, just save a Stone Edge and be done with it, if you hate Charizard so much this’ll be catharsis, but in actuality you’re complaining because it’s something to complain about Kanto are getting Everything That went down like a lead balloon didn’t it? Reminder that the first Gigantamax forms were Galar Pokémon, so you can’t really say that anymore. There are Galar forms from non-Gen I Pokémon too I assure you, but the reason Kanto gets a lot of them is because Kanto is the oldest. Let’s not pretend that other gens don’t get love either Or should I remind you of Mega Ampharos, Scizor, Heracross, Houndoom, Tyranitar, Blaziken, Gardevoir, Gallade, Mawile, Aggron, Medicham, Manectric, Banette, Absol, Garchomp, Lucario, Abomasnow, Steelix, Sceptile, Marshtomp, Sableye, Sharpedo, Camerupt, Altaria, Glalie, Salamence, Metagross, Latias, Latios, Rayquaza, Lopunny, Audino and Diancie? It’s true that the Johto starters could use something, but I don’t think they’re being purposefully ignored, perhaps the right design hasn’t come along. Rather it be done right than poorly wouldn’t you agree? The Devs Should’ve Done <Insert Thing Here> People who say this kinda stuff have no idea how a game is made. I have a First Class Bachelor’s degree in Computer Gaming and Animation Technology and I can tell you that none of the stuff you want them to do is easy. Even getting grass right is a complete hassle. You want small insights you should watch Corridor Crew react to Good and Bad VFX, they tell you about the mechanics of CGI a few times on those vids. This is what annoys me with the prior swipe at the Battle animations and rigging, even with 2 years this is a heavily massive workload and Game Freak have only recently expanded the team that work on Pokémon which makes communication much more widespread and difficult to manage, likewise they are working on other games too they are not just Pokémon, currently their next IP is why Toby Fox was able to do a bit of music for Pokémon, because he’s collaborating with them on another game. The work doesn’t stop, most of these people are overworked and still doing overtime, they bring out a good product and all it gets is ‘but it should have this’, and unless it’s a huge part of the game that’s needed to function then that’s really disrespectful Before you start critiquing on what the people making this game ‘should’ve done’ perhaps you should try to make a game yourself, because it is not easy even for pros, I call back to Toby Fox because creating Undertale took 32 Months to create, that’s 2 years and 8 months for those slow with math, it also took 3 years before it could be ported to Switch because the Engine couldn’t support the platform, Pokémon has less time to do that, greater graphical and animation quality to achieve and more characters to battle, attacks to animate and more songs to compose. Conclusion: You’re All Just Bitter I’ve already seen it happen recently but this group of people senselessly bashing something because of ridiculous demands, expectations or arguments based on a lack of understanding all combine into something I’m simply calling the ‘Bitterness Fandom’. It’s people hating for the sake of hating and trying to bring something down just because it’s been a popular force for so long, and it’s not just Pokémon that’s getting it It’s already been happening to Star Wars. The Last Jedi and Solo were great films but the Bitterness sank its fangs in and act like neither are as good as the original trilogy (like killing Snoke without knowing anything about him and Phasma before she could do anything is any different to killing Sidious and Boba Fett in Jedi or Maul in Phantom Menace and Grievous in Revenge of the Sith), a lack of awareness to reality and the desire to complain for the sake of complaining continues to infect Star Wars. We even have a thing called ‘Star Wars Fatigue’ Star Wars can’t release a film every year because of ‘Fatigue’ but Marvel can release 5 MCU films a year and nobody bats an eye. Those frustrations aside, I refuse to let the Bitterness sink in without me calling them out, because you are not Pokémon Fans. If you were you’d know that having no National Dex isn’t new, you’d know that the graphics have improved and leaks of the game happen every time, you’d know why Charizard is popular and that some features are not intended to be targeted at you Shock and Horror to the heavens above but games can’t do everything And if you’re that naive to think so then you’re clearly not doing your homework So let’s throw out an absolutely WILD suggestion shall we? Let’s decide our opinion on a game After playing it? Because shitting on something you don’t even have hands-on experience with it is a fragile pedestal to put yourself on. If we all think it’s bad then, so be it, but I sincerely doubt that is the case When my copy of Pokémon Sword gets delivered to my house I am going to enjoy it because I will not let petty and incorrect statements sway my feelings and I swear to Arceus if you think the Bitterness will bring down Pokémon that easily then you did not see the queue to the London Poké Center that had been amassing since midnight and was forced to stop taking more people when the doors opened What should matter is how you enjoy the game, play it before you judge it And honestly, don’t send death threats, why we need to tell you that is beyond me, the ones who made these games are people who have worked their asses off day in and day out to provide something you aren’t even going to play because one Pokémon isn’t in it, the irony is not lost on me when I say this but deep into the very bottom of my heart: Grow Up. If you don’t like the game, don’t play it, don’t bother people about it, we don’t need your shit here Enjoy the Game People

[theradioghost]

hi, what horror podcasts would u recommend?? ive only listened to a couple and its been rly hit-or-miss for me, but im in a mood for horror so if u could point me to any good ones i'd rly appreciate it!!

I sure can! There are so, so many amazing horror podcasts out there and I won’t even try to tell you about all the ones I love, but here's a selection.

I Am In Eskew is one of the few shows that like ... genuinely disturbs me every time I listen to it, and yet at the same time it’s so poetically beautiful that it takes my breath away. It’s about a man trapped in a surreal, Escherian city where the rain never stops, and the detective who is trying to find him. And it is a terrifying work of art that I simply cannot describe in any way that will do it justice. If you want something with Lynch or Mieville vibes go for this. (Note that they don’t provide content warnings and this show goes hard.)

The Magnus Archives starts out as a simple horror anthology series, framed as recordings of personal statements detailing encounters with the supernatural, drawn from the archives of the paranormal research organization The Magnus Institute. However, as the new archival staff record and investigate these statements, a disturbing pattern begins to emerge -- and the more they start to notice the bigger picture, the more the bigger picture starts to notice them. (In other words: come for the phenomenal standalone stories, stay because you’ve gotten caught up in the slowly and magnificently unfurled metaplot and now you’re very invested in all these characters and have covered a wall in scribbled notes and red string.)

Archive 81 is about a man who has gone missing after taking a job curating an archive of taped interviews with the tenants of an apartment building where something is terribly wrong ... at least at first, because this show is one hell of a wild ride through disturbing arcane rituals and otherworldly landscapes of hostile thought and sound and dreams. Aside from stellar writing and acting, the big standout thing on this show is that the sound designer Dan Powell is just simply a genius. This show’s sound editing is gorgeous to the point of being almost visual and also just absolutely horrifying. (He’s also a musician and the music is also incredible.)

The Blood Crow Stories is the horror podcast for everybody who is into this medium for the gay. You want a boat full of rich people trying to escape WWI being stalked by a heart-devouring monster? You want a Western horror-mystery featuring lesbian sheriffs, bisexual outlaws, gay gunslingers, and a whole lot of murder? How about a cyberpunk thriller about a 911 operator who is targeted by terrifying phone calls from actual demons? It’s all right here and it comes with the best bloopers of any podcast I know & some really fabulous tunes. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You will get “Pretty Lavinia” stuck in your head.

Janus Descending is a really phenomenal limited-run scifi horror miniseries that just finished a few days ago and man does it deserve more attention. Peter and Chel are sent to investigate the ruins of an alien civilization on a distant planet ripe for development, only to discover that not everything under the surface is as dead as they thought. The story is told from both characters’ perspectives, but with a twist -- while you hear Chel’s log entries in sequence, Peter’s side of the story unfurls in reverse chronological order.

Station Blue is about Matthew, a man who accepts a job offer that requires him to spend several months in total isolation at a remote research station in Antarctica. Very much a slow-burn psychological scare, this one keeps its unnatural elements subtle for now, and instead derives its horror from the protagonist’s isolation and introspection. While all of these shows obviously have disturbing/potentially triggering elements I do want to note that Station Blue draws a lot on the creator’s experiences with mental illness and can get pretty heavy.

[autisticchangeling]

I want to get into star trek, but where do I start? There's a few different shows and movies on netflix, I a don't want watching them out of order to ruin the experience for me.

Thank you so much for asking! You have a few options here, so buckle in, haha. It took so much willpower not to just recommend Deep Space Nine, but I have prevailed and have my recommendations below.

Short Version: start with some of the best episodes of the Original Series and then watch the Next Generation before moving on to whichever series appeals to you most.

Long version:

Realistically, I think you could probably start with any of the TV shows, but some will be more confusing than others. I wouldn't recommend starting with the movies, because I think Star Trek works best is a TV show and the movies can be fun but the good ones require background knowledge of the show.

Here are some starting places I would recommend, with pros and cons.

The Original Series: this was the first TV show, so you're definitely not missing any prior context. There is a lot of good stuff here, but it does very much feel like a TV show that aired in the 60s, and might be harder to get through if you're used to more modern TV shows. the tone is silly but taking itself seriously in an endearing way. There's some great social commentary and the juxtaposition between the absurdity and the serious elements is something I really enjoy.

The Animated Series: I have not seen this, but I've heard it's good! It's also animated, so if that's not your style be aware. I'm pretty sure it has all the actors from the original series voicing their roles though, so that's cool.

The Next Generation: a good combination of classic Star Trek and a more modern TV Style. This is definitely a decent starting place and will provide you with a lot of the context that might be important if you watch the other shows that aired after it. That said, you don't necessarily need to watch this in order if you don't want to. The first time I watched next gen I just skipped around to whatever episodes I thought were more interesting, and although I missed a little bit of the character development arcs it wasn't the end of the world. Not every episode is very good, and common consensus is that it's better after the first season, but I enjoyed some of the first season episodes and disliked some of the later episodes, so your mileage may vary. The tone is light but serious, and maybe a tiny bit pretentious? But not in a bad way, if that makes sense. I find it comforting.

Deep Space Nine: this one definitely needs to be watched in order. There is a lot of great stuff here, but it does have more political Intrigue than the other shows and it's probably more helpful if you see next-gen first. You could probably watch this without having seen and understood all of the nuances in the Next Generation, but you might have a little more understanding of some of the depth and character cameos if you've seen it. This is my personal favorite, so I'm a little biased towards it. The tone is a little darker but still with some light and silly moments, and there's definitely a drawn-out overarching plot line.

Voyager: this one is very hit-or-miss, in my opinion? There was some really good stuff here, but also some kind of mediocre or questionable stuff. I wouldn't necessarily recommend starting here, but it's not super confusing to watch first. You might miss some of the references, but I don't think there's anything that would really throw you if you watched it first. I still wouldn't recommend starting with this one, though. Watch this one once you're already committed to Star Trek. I'd say the tone of this show is a little wacky? Episodes often have a combination of very silly and very serious elements.

Enterprise: Enterprise gets a bit of a bad reputation, but I don't think it's really all that bad. It's a prequel, so you could technically start with it and not miss anything, but it does drag a bit in parts. It's a neat show with some interesting stuff, but one of the season plot arcs was a little drawn out for my tastes.

Discovery: Discovery is also a prequel, but it does have cameo appearances by some of the characters from the original series. Just watching a handful of original series episodes would be enough to prepare you for this, I think. It's a pretty controversial show right now, but I do have to say I personally am enjoying it, and whether or not it's a decent starting point for you would depend on your taste in television. It's definitely a more modern style of TV show compared to the older series, so keep that in mind. It has some darker elements and more overall plot then some of the older series, much like the DS9 did. The visual style is brighter and flashier than DS9 though.

Movies: honestly, a lot of the movies are mediocre. There are however some excellent movies and I will recommend those below.

Star Trek II, III, and IV: these are excellent and classics. Watch these after you've seen some of the Original Series, in particular the episode Space Seed.

First Contact: this was good! Watch this after you seen the Next Generation episodes The Best of Both Worlds parts 1 and 2.

The 2009 Reboot Movies: the first and third movies are probably better than the second one, in my opinion. You don't need to see the second movie for the others to make sense, but whether or not you skip it is up to you. These movies are an alternate universe of the original series, and can probably be seen without any prior context. The second movie is heavily based on Star Trek II, but as mentioned you can skip it without missing anything in the third movie.

Let me know if you want my best and worst episode recommendations for some of the series I'm more familiar with

[becuzpurple]

Hospital - A One-Shot (pt 1 of 2)

I was asked for some Cuddly/Caring Ed and came up with this idea.  The bulk of the cuddles and caring will actually come in part 2, though (sorry!).

I wrote a part of this from Ed’s point-of-view for the first time, which was really weird for me since I’m so used-to and comfortable using Kate’s voice.  But she was unavailable (you’ll see why soon), so Ed needed to step up!

Enjoy!

Something was definitely not right. I’d had a stomachache since late morning. It was just below and to the left of my belly button at first, and then it traveled right.  Eating didn’t help, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t intestinal pain, either. Painkillers did nothing - it actually got worse as the day went on.  It was unfamiliar to me - I’d never felt pain quite like it before.

We’d had plans to visit my parents that evening, and celebrate my mom’s birthday.  I wasn’t sure if I should cancel or not, or maybe just stay home and let Ed take the kids without me.  But I decided to suck it up and go.  At about 4 pm we all piled into the car and made the short ride over to my parents’ house.

My mother loves to cook.  And even more than that, she loves to feed people. The old adage ‘Food is Love’ is a motto she lives by.  Even though it was for her own birthday celebration, she happily spent all day preparing a delectable feast for her loved ones.  She said that seeing her family together around the table enjoying both each other’s company and the meal she prepared for us was all she needed.

But not even my mom’s lasagna could fix this.  I didn’t feel like I could keep much food down, so I just picked at it, taking a few small bites here and there.  The pain was still getting worse.  

Ed said I looked pale.  He was concerned, as were my parents.  My sister-in-law Amy, a nurse, was the first to mention that maybe I should go to the ER. Once I started running to the bathroom vomiting every 10 minutes or so, I reluctantly agreed with her.

I apologized profusely to my mom for ruining her birthday, and she predictably hushed me, assuring me that my health was infinitely more important than a silly party.  

Nate and Lucy stayed with my parents while Ed took me to the hospital.  We had no idea how long we’d be there, so figured it would be best if they spent the night with them.

Ed had to pull the car over twice on the way to the hospital so I could throw up.

What is this?  

Worry was etched all over his face as he drove us through the stop-and-go city traffic.  We didn’t talk much during the drive, but he kept his hand on my knee the whole time.

We were in the waiting room for almost an hour before anyone saw me.  It was a Saturday night - the busiest time of the week for an emergency room.  I visited the bathroom no less than 6 times to vomit while we waited.  Nothing was even coming out anymore - it was all just dry heaves.  I was in significant pain, I was miserable, and I was baffled.  I came back to our seats from one of those bathroom visits, shaking my head and shrugging, feeling discouraged.

“Has this ever happened before?” Ed asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

“No,” I slowly shook my head.  “I don’t know what this could be…gallbladder, maybe?  Appendix…?” I felt my eyes go wider as I thought of another possibility.  I didn’t voice it, though.

Which didn’t matter in the least, since he’d apparently had the same thought.

“Could you be pregnant?”

——————————————————————————————-

I was finally called back to triage, where I was asked a series of the usual questions:

Describe the abdominal pain.  When did it begin?  It started late this morning - dull, kind of centered, a little to the left.  A few hours later it moved right and down and got worse - much more sharp.

Do you have a normal appetite?  Not really.  I don’t think I can keep anything down.  

Any nausea or vomiting?  Yes.  I’ve been vomiting every 5-15 minutes for the past few hours.

Are you experiencing any vaginal bleeding?  No.

When did you begin your last period?  Umm, almost a month ago I think?  I think I’m due in a few days.

Do you experience any pain with intercourse?  No.

Any dizziness?  No.

Any pain in your shoulder or back?  No.

I also told the nurse that I’d stopped my birth control pills the previous month. It seemed like something worth noting.

She was the only person we’d shared that information with at that point.  It was a decision we’d come to together, at the tail-end of what was honestly the most stressful, intense, nerve-racking, heart-wrenching, soul-baring near break-up/fight I’d ever been through.  It lasted days, but in the end we were both clear and honest with ourselves and each other about where we wanted our relationship to go.  Not that he hadn’t been forthright about that before.  It was I who had been fooling myself, and by extension, him.  But now it was voiced. It’s real.  We are stronger, completely committed, and in it for the long-haul.

We weren’t exactly trying to get pregnant, but we were no longer trying to prevent it, either.  It was a huge step, for sure.  Given my age and my past miscarriages, we thought we might need to see a reproductive endocrinologist once we officially started ‘trying’.  But we weren’t quite there, yet.

I knew that if I was pregnant, then it was very early, and something was probably very wrong.  So, at that point I was praying that it was my appendix or gallbladder.  

After another 40ish minutes of waiting my name was called again, finally, and we were led back to an examining room.  But before we even entered, I was handed a sterile sample cup and redirected to the nearest bathroom.  

I did my duty and returned to the small curtained-off area where Ed was waiting.  I changed into the hospital gown the nurse had given me, and then she returned to take my vitals, including my temperature.

“Hmm.  98.5…no fever…”  She looked a little surprised by this.

We waited an interminable 15 or 20 minutes, during which time I continued to dry-heave.  I’d been given a clean, plastic bucket, but nothing was coming out, anyway.  I was miserable.  Ed was trying to distract me with stories of his own hospital escapades.  He’s broken a lot of fingers and toes!  Boys…  

Finally, the doctor came back with the results.  She glanced at me and then at Ed, and if she recognized him she made no outward sign of it.

“Everything was negative.  You’re not pregnant so no ectopic pregnancy, you don’t have a UTI, and there are no kidney stones.”

I nodded.  “OK…”

“There is definitely something going on.  I suspect it’s appendicitis, but I’d like to run a few more tests to be sure.  I’m ordering blood work and an MRI.  But first I’d like to do a quick physical exam.”

I laid back and tried not to worry too much while the doctor applied pressure to various parts of my abdomen, observed my reactions, and asked me to rate any pain I felt on a scale of 1-10.

My memory of that night is a bit fuzzy, so my awareness of how time passed is not great.  But I do remember waiting around a lot for tests and results and room availability and doctors.  My blood was drawn right away, but we waited a while for the MRI to be done.  Then we waited some more for someone to tell us…anything.

It was after midnight before Dr.  Pianga returned.

“I’m confident that you have an angry appendix.  Your white blood cell count is high, which indicates that you’re fighting an infection…although you don’t have a fever, which is atypical.  The MRI images clearly show that your appendix is inflamed, and I do see what looks like a blockage in your appendiceal lumen, which is the hollow part of the appendix.”

“Does she need to have it out?” Ed asked.

Dr.  Pianga nodded.  “Yes, I’m afraid it needs to go,” she said, nodding at him, then me.

“OK.”

“I believe you’re a good candidate for a laparoscopic appendectomy.  It’s less invasive than the open surgery, and has a shorter recovery period.  It’s actually performed as an outpatient surgery, so you won’t even be admitted.  You’ll be home by mid-morning.”

——————————————————————————————-

Ed’s POV

While we waited in pre-op, they hooked Kate up to an IV and started some medicines - antibiotics, a pain reliever, something to stop her vomiting, and a sedative.  She became very sleepy, but also really hyper and chatty - even more so than usual.  She spoke quickly and emphatically.

“I can’t believe I’m having my appendix out?  This morning I had a stomachache and now I’m having surgery?  That’s crazy.  I’ve never even had surgery before.”

“No?”

“Oh, well I had a c-section.  I guess that’s surgery, isn’t it?  Oh, god I’m so glad it’s not an ectopic pregnancy.  I was really worried that’s what it was…”

“Yeah,” I replied softly, nodding.

“I want a baby, Ed.  I want to have a baby…babies!”, she said a little too loudly.

“Shhhh, OK.  OK, darling.” I smiled down at her, smoothing her hair back away from her face, and then took a quick glance around to see if anyone else could hear our conversation besides Ebony, the nurse who just re-entered our curtained-off ‘room’.

“No, no…your babies, not just any babies…”  she seemed to be under the impression that I might have mistakenly thought she wanted some random, general babies.  

I was sat down on the edge of her bed, right next to her, and couldn’t help the smile that broke out at hearing those words.  

I softly kissed her forehead, and then took her hand in both of mine.

“I want that, too,” I whispered softly.

I hated seeing her in pain, worried, and so vulnerable.  This was new territory for me.  I’m not very familiar with American hospitals or surgery procedures, and felt quite out of my element.  I wasn’t going to let her see that, though.  I knew it was a pretty common surgery, but I was worried, all-the-same.  

The possibility of an ectopic pregnancy had scared the piss out of me. The idea of losing our baby before even getting to know him or her?  No.  Just no.  And Kate has had more than her share of losses in her life.  It would kill a good part of me if that were to happen to us.  To her.  

The anesthesiologist came back and administered the drugs via her IV to put her under.  Kate looked a little nervous, so I whispered sweet and silly and entirely inappropriate things to her to get her to smile, and she was out almost immediately.  Ebony was trying to hold back a smirk after everything she’d just overheard, and wasn’t doing a very good job of it.  I grinned sheepishly back at her.

“Will she remember any of that?”

“Probably not.  But believe me, she means every word she said.  That stuff is truth serum.”

——————————————————————————————-

Pt. 2 - Home

As always, likes and reblogs are mucho-appreciated, as is any feedback you might care to offer.  :-)

-BP💜

[spicynbachili1]

The 300 Week 47: New Game Plus

By which we go above and past 300 films in 2018

Get up, Crono, it’s time for The 300, my radical dream to see greater than 300 films in theaters in 2018. I’ll be watching new releases, classics, hidden gems, and competition movies to expertise the vast world of cinema in all its kind. With a lot moviegoing selection, there’s in all probability one thing you’d be fascinated with as effectively.

As at all times, there are three guidelines for The 300:

The film have to be at the very least 40 minutes lengthy, assembly the Academy of Movement Image Arts and Sciences’ definition of a characteristic movie.

I have to watch the film at a movie show, screening room, or out of doors screening venue.

Whereas I can watch films I’ve seen earlier than 2018, I can’t depend repeated viewings of the identical movie in 2018 a number of instances.

I hit 300 films in final week’s installment of The 300, which implies I’m beginning this week north of the purpose. Contemplate this a victory lap. I’m undecided what number of films I’ll see past 300 given the vacations and journey plans, however I’ll proceed to trace my full 12 months of filmgoing every week by means of 2018. This in all probability means I’ll write a prime 50 films of the 12 months fairly than a prime 20. Additionally, if I hit a sure variety of films by December 31, I’ll even get the dinosaur ending.

A bit strapped for time this week, however I’ll have some further ideas on this prolonged movie-watching expertise within the December installments this sequence. The top of the 12 months is at all times a fantastic excuse to look again earlier than trying ahead. For now, it’s again to the grind.

And so, onward.

301 of 300: Nonetheless Strolling (2008) (aka 歩い��も 歩いても; Aruitemo aruitemo)

Director: Hirokazu Kore-eda Starring: Hiroshi Abe, Yui Natsukawa, Kirin Kiki, Kazuya Takahashi Nation: Japan Seen at The Movie Society of Lincoln Heart (New York, NY) Wednesday, November 21st

It made sense to observe Hirokazu Kore-eda’s exceptional After Life (The 300 Week 46) with some type of playful pun. Therefore the primary movie after 300 is Nonetheless Strolling, one other deeply affecting Kore-eda film. This film is firmly in Kore-eda’s wheelhouse, specializing in the trivia of household dynamics and what that has to say about our connections to people who find themselves near us. On a sizzling summer time’s day, a household comes collectively to commemorate the loss of life of the eldest son 15 years in the past. In only a single afternoon and night, we perceive the contours of the totally different relationships on display, and the interpersonal and generational frictions of those well-rendered, imperfect folks. I discovered myself notably drawn to Nonetheless Strolling’s exploration of familial disappointments. Youngsters typically fail to reside as much as their mother and father’ beliefs, and vice versa. What then? We maintain going, clearly.

It’s fascinating to see this movie after seeing Kore-eda’s Shoplifters on the New York Movie Pageant (The 300 Week 39). We’re instructed in Shoplifters that the households we select are typically preferable to those we’re born into. What I see in Nonetheless Strolling is the troublesome, begrudging love we have now with blood relations, and the way these bonds are maintained even when they’re so bothersome. I additionally see the thought of households we construct ourselves handled with unbelievable heat in the way in which Ryota (Hiroshi Abe) and Yukari (Yui Natsukawa) work together; he’s her second husband, and she or he has a toddler from the earlier marriage. I’m tempted to rewatch Kore-eda’s Like Father, Like Son to intensify this exploration of familial connection, and the way this kinship might be about blood relation on its floor however is finally about a lot extra.

On this lengthy 12 months of filmgoing, Nonetheless Strolling additionally jogged my memory of how a shot might be completely accomplished by the passing of a prepare. It’s a thought that I first had whereas watching Chantal Akerman’s hauntingly unhappy Les Rendez-vous d’Anna (The 300 Week 43), reified by Kore-eda just a few weeks later. In my thoughts this notion is sort of a prepare experience began a month in the past, accomplished solely simply now.

302 of 300: PlayTime (1967)

Director: Jacques Tati Starring: Jacques Tati, Barbara Dennek Nation: France/Italy Seen at Metrograph (New York, NY) Saturday, November 24th

PlayTime is a continuing sensory delight from starting to finish. Whereas a monetary failure on the time of launch, the film is Jacques Tati’s comedian masterpiece. This was my first likelihood to see the movie on the massive display, and I used to be struck by how a lot I caught when the film was projected massive. PlayTime covers a day within the lifetime of an ultra-modern Paris, touring from airports to expos to flats to stylish eating places. The skinny plot is secondary to the dense, layered pleasures of simply watching.

PlayTime makes a sport out of the act of watching the movie. The primary sport is within the airport. Can you see sure quirky background extras as they reappear? The film is populated with false Monsieur Hulots, Tati’s comedian persona that’s a bit like a suaver Charlie Chaplin and a extra agile Mr. Bean. The following sport is discovering these faux-Hulots. There’s one other sport about monitoring a blue folder, the figuring out mark of the person the actual Hulot should discuss to amid the confusion of a busy cubicle-filled office. Later PlayTime video games are about figuring out trigger and impact, and utilizing your reminiscence, and making an attempt to note one thing in a shot you’ve by no means observed earlier than.

PlayTime’s major philosophical focus is on the world’s unavoidable homogeneity and dehumanization as a consequence of know-how. Journey posters for various international locations characteristic the identical oppressive brick of a skyscraper dominating the native taste. Extra real human interplay and cultural aptitude have been misplaced to the grey tastes of the fashionable world. But significant connection can nonetheless be discovered amongst folks, even in the way in which the fashionable world refracts the beauties of the pure world. Contemplate how the bulbed stems of metallic avenue lamps bend just like the bowed heads of bellflowers. Perhaps one solution to treatment the malaise of modernity is to interact in a type of energetic, empathetic type of day by day play; and, when attainable, to view a few of the world as if it had been a grand image ebook we’ve occurred to stroll into.

303 of 300: The Sisters Brothers (2018)

Director: Jacques Audiard Starring: John C. Reilly, Joaquin Phoenix, Jake Gyllenhaal, Riz Ahmed Nation: USA/France Seen at Roxy Cinema Tribeca (New York, NY) Sunday, November 25th

The Sisters Brothers is completely high-quality, although I hoped for extra. A bit bit revisionist western and somewhat bit darkish comedy, the movie follows Eli and Charlie Sisters (John C. Reilly and Joaquin Phoenix), two employed weapons on the tail of somebody who’s cheated their boss. Eli is a delicate soul who’s turned gunslinger to look at over his drunken screw-up brother. Because the movie unfolds, the film explores a want to depart the vary life, and the cruelties out on the open path. Among the notes in regards to the Wild West vs. pastoral domesticity jogged my memory of John Ford’s The Searchers, one among many style touchstones allude to by director/co-writer Jacques Audiard. And but I felt just like the story might have gone father though it sustained my curiosity, or might have mentioned extra.

Then once more, possibly the film merely is what it’s, and it’s a nice showcase for Reilly’s appearing vary. Eli is a captivating brother’s keeper kind, and appears obsessive about higher-minded and extra romantic concepts about being a gunslinger. Whereas stopping by the city of Mayfield, Eli’s awkward roleplay-foreplay with a prostitute feels chivalrous fairly than kinky. It’s such a humorous but so human (and subsequently unhappy) scene, and Reilly’s voice and infantile frustration and physique language talk a lot so effectively. Perhaps I’d identical to a film about Eli given how a lot I like Reilly as an actor.

304 of 300: Creed II (2018)

Director: Steven Caple, Jr. Starring: Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Tessa Thompson, Dolph Lundgren Nation: USA Seen at AMC Village 7 (New York, NY) Monday, November 26th

Creed II was an okay rehash of Rocky II-IV, however Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan) was the weakest a part of his personal movie. Consider it like this: Rocky Balboa is a lovable underdog who received’t surrender, kind of like Joe Frazier; and Apollo Creed was the charismatic showman who jabs with phrases, kind of like Muhammad Ali. Adonis Creed, who lacks a real-world analog, is like an offended teenager with daddy points. That isn’t all that compelling to me. Rocky is extra compelling right here, with Sylvester Stallone seeming to say goodbye to the franchise. The identical goes for Bianca Taylor (Tessa Thompson), who’s juggling a profession and different tasks whereas Adonis goes by means of his private disaster. I even discovered the story of Ivan and Viktor Drago (Dolph Lundgren and Florian Munteanu) extra compelling given how a lot they’ve misplaced, how strained that father-son relationship is, and possibly even how underwritten their elements had been.

I’m wondering if my disappointment stems from the screenplay, which Stallone co-wrote. I discussed above that this appears like Rocky is leaving the franchise for good, and balancing the development of Adonis’s character with the exit of Rocky Balboa is a troublesome job, particularly with how a lot plot is within the movie. With out Ryan Coogler as director, Creed II doesn’t really feel fairly as massive because it may very well be. The fights aren’t as effectively finished, the drama not as high-stakes, and whereas there are some transferring emotional highs, there are many lulls. Creed II is a by-the-numbers sequel that goes the space, by no means hitting fairly as arduous as I hoped regardless of some nice concepts to work with.

Present runtime of The 300: 31,877 minutes (22 days, three hours, 17 minutes)

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[miss-agent-e-15-jedi]

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (as told by Luke Skywalker)

Retold by @MissAgent E.

Introduction

Greetings exalted ones! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m MissAgent E, fan of Luke Skywalker and Original Star Wars Trilogy enthusiast. I enjoy wearing my hair in iconic Star Wars styles, my favorites being Princess Leia’s Bespin braid loops and Yavin IV celebration style.  You can find me on Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr with the username @MissAgent E, along with my boards, blogs, and tweets about Luke Skywalker and his portrayer, Mark Hamill, whom I hope to meet in person one day (note: You can find Mr. Hamill on Twitter and Instagram by the username @HamillHimself).

Being my all-time favorite in the trilogy (and definitely the top fan favorite of all the Star Wars films), I have chosen to direct my creative writing toward retelling The Empire Strikes Back from a certain point of view: through the eyes of the hero, Luke Skywalker. In this first-person narrative, you’ll see the epic story through his eyes and experience his thoughts and feelings. In addition,  you’ll also come across a few scenes that were cut from the original film, including an extended scene with Leia in the medical bay on Hoth and Dagobah training sessions. Lastly, I own absolutely nothing; this is only for fun. All credit goes to George Lucas and his creative team for making possible this movie. I hope you enjoy this, and may the Force be with you!

Chapter One

The infinite blanket of immaculately white snow gleaming in the sun before me was really all there was to see, minus occasional rocks, distant mountains, and scattered snow banks. Even in the light of day, the sun made virtually no difference to the icy cold temperature. In fact, all it really seemed to do was blind me from time to time by reflecting brightly off of the snow. I shut my eyes tightly against another glare, once more shivering from the chill of the environment; every soft, tiny fiber of my rebel-issued, insulated patrol suit seemed to be gradually freezing onto my body one layer at a time. I could still move my arms and legs freely in the suit, but the cold made them nearly as stiff as brand-new copper wires. There were a few times where I thought I heard a cracking sound from my joints whenever I opened or closed my fingers or curled my toes inside my boots in an effort to keep my blood circulating.

My scarf, hood and goggles were of little help against the elements. Really, I thought, their only real purpose was to keep my eyes, nose, and ears from succumbing to frostbite; not necessarily for generating heat. If only my goggles had windshield wipers, because along with the flakes of snow and thin bits of moisture in the air, each time I exhaled—and it didn’t matter if it was through my nose or my mouth—they would fog up numerous times; several times I had to take them off for a moment to clear them and, for a brief moment, get a high definition view of my surroundings with my naked eyes. Then, after seeing my breath appear as a smoky white cloud of vapor in front of my face and then vanish, the goggles would go back on, and I’d have to continue my mission.

I’d been out on patrol for a few hours now, and the afternoon sun was just beginning to wane. This meant my assignment was nearly finished. I was soon on top of a nearby snow bank, and it was there that I brought my tauntaun—a snow-lizard kind of beast with grayish-blue fur that served as my mode of transportation—to an abrupt stop. Riding this fussy but tame beast would never be as spectacular as being in a T-47 airspeeder (or a snowspeeder, as the rebels and I called it down here on this frozen planet), but for this mission, she was effective enough. Her nearly two-meter height gave me a pretty descent view of the world around me, but the obscuration of the two, large, coiled horns on the top of her head and my shorter stature than hers forced me to peek from either side of her massive neck whenever I needed to look ahead.

The rebel alliance had domesticated several of these animals after the establishment of our new secret base on Hoth, the snowy wasteland of a planet that I’d been scouring. We’d had to relocate our headquarters--now formally called Echo Base--to a different planet after our huge triumph at the battle of Yavin, in which I had accomplished what many would consider one of the most impossible tasks in the universe. With the help of my mentor Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, and his teaching me in the ways of the Force, I’d managed to destroy the Death Star, the ultimate weapon of the evil galactic empire.

My heart ached for Old Ben; I wished he was still here so that I could continue to learn about the Force and become a Jedi like my father. Ben had been killed by the evil lord Darth Vader on the Death Star, bravely sacrificing his life so that my friends and I could escape. I closed my eyes and could still hear the last words he’d ever said to me:

Luke, the Force will be with you. Always.

Three years had passed since the destruction of the Death Star, and I hadn’t heard his voice ever since.

Despite the high price of our victory—not just losing Old Ben, but my Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, the people who’d raised me on the desert planet Tatooine, to the empire as well—I still hoped to one day master the Force and become a fully-fledged Jedi Knight.

My train of thought was interrupted by a loud explosion in the distance. I glanced in the direction of the sound just in time to see a meteorite shoot out of the sky and contact the snowy surface with an echoing bang. I was immediately intrigued and yanked my electrobinoculars off my utility belt to get a closer look. With wide eyes behind the zoomed-in lenses, I observed a lot of gray smoke rising into the air behind a snow drift about two kilometers from where I was. I considered the possibility that meteorite strikes like the one I had just seen were a constant occurrence due to Hoth’s close proximity to a massive asteroid field in outer space. I was still curious nonetheless, and my patrol mission was complete, so I figured there would be no harm in checking out the meteorite.

I put my binoculars back on my belt and, after scraping snow off my wrist, turned on the comm-link to contact my friend Han Solo.

I’d met Han back on Tatooine at Mos Eisley Spaceport when he and his Wookie companion, Chewie, had been hired by Ben to take us, along with two faithful droids—Artoo-Deetoo and his humanoid protocol counterpart See-Threepio—to Alderaan. Unfortunately, by the time we’d escaped Tatooine and come out of hyperspace, the Alderaan system had been reduced to space rubble, destroyed by the Death Star. The empire had locked Han’s piece of junk for a ship, the Millennium Falcon, in their tractor beam and captured us, which resulted in the three of us—me, Han, and Chewie—rescuing Leia, the Princess and Senator from Alderaan.

Leia was the strongest and most beautiful woman I had ever met; even after losing her home planet she continued to aid the rebels with her outstanding leadership and responsibility. Unfortunately, Han had been drawn to her stern and marvelous beauty, and it made me feel a little jealous inside. After all, it had been my idea to go and rescue the princess; Han hadn’t wanted anything to do with it; all he’d been interested in was money. Even though he’d had a change of heart and saved me from getting shot down while in the Death Star’s trench, his cocky, mercenary self still stood out like a spatter of black ink on a white garment every so often. I still liked him and cared about him nonetheless, and the fact that he’d stuck around with me and the alliance all these years after the Yavin battle was enough to make my relationship with him as a friend one of my most valuable treasures.

After a couple beeps, I loudly spoke into the comm-link.

“Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?”

There was less than a second of static, and then a familiar voice replied, “Loud and clear, Kid. What’s up?”

Being called ‘Kid’ by Han had annoyed me a lot when I’d first known him; as if I were completely inferior to him because of my aspiration to become a Jedi. Han didn’t believe in the Force; he’d said it was all a bunch of simple tricks and nonsense; I could still hear him laughing at me on the Falcon when I’d started my training with Ben. After knowing Han for a few years now, I didn’t make a big deal about that nickname anymore; if Han’s going to call me ‘Kid’ all my life, then whatever.

“Well, I finished my circle,” I continued. “I don’t pick up any life readings.”

Han sounded unimpressed when he responded. “There isn’t enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. The sensors are placed. I’m going back.”

Remembering why I’d contacted him in the first place, I told him, “Right, I’ll see you shortly. There’s a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won’t take long.”

I’d barely clicked the comm-link off when my tauntaun suddenly began to moan alarmingly, rearing upward and nearly sending me falling off her back. I pulled on her reins, shouting “Steady!”

She stopped writhing and moaning for a second, but she still seemed apprehensive.

“Steady, girl,” I said, patting her neck to calm her down. “Hey, what’s the matter? You smell something?”

These snow-lizards seemed to have pretty keen senses of smell, but I knew I certainly didn’t smell anything; nothing but the odor of her thick, ungroomed fur. These animals were nice in principle, but they didn’t smell very good. Because of that I’d resorted to breathing through my mouth as much as I could the entire time I was on patrol, with clear goggles being my opportunity cost.

By the time I realized what had gotten her all wound up, it was too late. Out of nowhere, there came two large, black, ferocious eyes, and the white, furry head that they inhabited rose about four meters above me. The huge head housed a wide-open mouth from which several razor-sharp teeth were visible. The last feature that I was able to take in was a couple horns residing on either side of the head. They were much smaller than the horns on my tauntaun, but that didn’t undermine the monstrosity of the carnivore towering over me.

A sharp, stabbing pain suddenly streaked across my face, and as something unheard escaped my larynx, I became lighter than air, fading into nothingness and losing all awareness of my body, my entire existence.

 Stay tuned for Chapter Two!

[anupsingh11-blog]

IUI Centres in Gurgaon | IUI Cost in Max Hospital | ElaWoman

What is Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)?

Intrauterine Insemination also referred to as artificial insemination, is an Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) generally used for infertility treatment. IUI treatment is a method wherein washed sperm is transferred directly into the uterus the use of a thin catheter. The treatment is performed to growth the quantity of sperm that enters the uterus.

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) Procedure

The Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) process is performed at the IUI centres in Gurgaon. The system is pretty easy. Male associate sperm or the donor’s sperm can be thawed and organized. The semen then goes via a washing system. This manner is used to take out the impurities.

A thin catheter is then positioned inside the cervix that might reason slight cramping just like what you experience all through Pap smear. The washed sperm is transferred to the uterus.

You can be prescribed by means of the health practitioner to remain mendacity horizontally for at least half-hour.

Main Causes of Female Infertility

Female infertility is based on physical and social traits that vary through subculture and state of affairs. Female infertility is while a girl fails to conceive even after having unprotected sexual intercourse for a yr. There may be some common hormone imbalances, which intrude being pregnant. Cervical problems are different important reasons for girl infertility, a condition that does not permit sperm to pass through the cervical canal.

Following are a number of the motives in the back of woman infertility:

Endometriosis

Smoking Tobacco

Age Factor

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

Birth Defect

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STDs)

Over or Underweight

Eating problems like anorexia or bulimia

Extremely short menstrual cycles

Polyps within the uterus

Treatment of Female Infertility

Over time, technological improvements within the medical field have developed many powerful infertility remedies, which take place on the IUI Centres in Gurgaon.

In Non-scientific ways, adopting a healthful way of life can treat Infertility. Here are a few points to remember:

Over and Under Weight : If you are making plans a infant in a near destiny, you should first have a look at your weighing scale. If it's far transferring in an irrelevant increasing or decreasing order, it is excessive time with the intention to exchange your lifestyle. IUI Centres in Gurgaon say that normal exercise and consuming a balanced food plan goes to help you in all elements.

Say No to smoking and ingesting : Consuming tobacco and beverages is not going to benefit your body in any manner. You have to end smoking and drinking if you are planning a pregnancy.

Avoid pressure : Stress is neither correct for you or for the baby. Based on the studies, it has been recorded that over-careworn couples witness hassle in conceiving and are less attentive to the infertility treatments.

The flagship programme to be had at maximum of the IUI centres in Gurgaon will help you in treating the infertility troubles and double your probabilities of getting pregnant. Also, female infertility may be dealt with with the aid of:

Surgery

Ovulation induction (hormone treatment)

IUI Cost in Max Hospital

The IUI Cost in Max Hospital depends on numerous elements including the revel in of the fertility physician, complexity of the couple's case as well as utilization of donated sperms, eggs or embryos. The requirement of additional remedies including ICSI treatment and Assisted hatching technique together with IVF also increases the price. IUI Cost in Max Hospital (In Vitro Fertilization) varies among Rs. 124,900 to Rs. 277,2 00.

Dr. Meenakshi Sauhta

Dr. Meenakshi Sauhta is a Gynecologist and Infertility Specialist in Gurgaon Sector 47, Gurgaon and has an enjoy of 28 years in these fields. Dr. Meenakshi working at Cloudnine Hospital in Gurgaon and KRSNA Speciality Clinic in DLF Phase IV, Gurgaon. She finished MBBS from Mahatma Gandhi Institute of Medical Sciences, Sewagram (MGIMS) in 1988,MD - Obstetrics & Gynaecology from Mahatma Gandhi Institute of Medical Sciences, Sewagram (MGIMS) in 1994 .

Dr. Meenakshi Sauhta is a member of Haryana Medical Council,Maharashtra Medical Council,Indian Medical Association (IMA),Association of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists of Delhi (AOGD),National Association for Reproductive & Child Health of India (NARCHI),Indian Association of Gynaecological Endoscopist (IAGE), Some of the services furnished by the doctor are: Tubectomy/Tubal Ligation,Cyst Removal,Fibroid Removal and Hysterectomy (Abdominal/Vaginal) and so forth.

Miracles Mediclinic

Recognized as one of the nice scientific clinics in Gurgaon, Miracles Mediclinic, is dedicated to provide satisfactory personalized health care tailor-made to character patient desires. We provide a entire range of world-elegance healthcare services including expert consultations, diagnostics, preventive fitness exams, dental hospital, skin health facility, physiotherapy facilities, pharmacy and nice docs from numerous clinical fields – all underneath one-roof. Miracles Mediclinic, Gurgaon is famous for its notable nice of service and patient care services. We continually get highest delight scores from our customers and it is one of the best IUI Centres in Gurgaon.

Miracles Mediclinic, Gurgaon is famous for its exquisite exceptional of carrier and affected person care services. We continuously get highest delight rankings from our customers. Miracles Mediclinic is a Multispecialty Hospital located in Sector 14 Gurgaon. It is famed for its high success rates and superior treatment strategies. It was mounted in 2002 and due to the fact then it keeps to provide patients with devoted services and first-class IVF treatment.

Nirvana Clinic

Nirvana Clinic exercise Mild Stimulation Cycles to prevent the difficulty of Ovarian Hyperstimulation which can be risky for the female. We also discourage multiple Embryo Transfers to prevent headaches like a couple of pregnancies. For us, achievement is a hit stay delivery in place of just conception, which receives complex via preterm deliveries because of a couple of pregnancies.( At the hospital we never overbook to make that few more money however nonetheless the waiting time may be forty five mins to an hour relying upon the time required via a affected person who needs those more mins to explain her story.We can't expect in advance who that woman may be,desiring those more minutes.Please be patient as you'll additionally take delivery of the identical more minutes if you want it.If with the aid of any chance you don't have those extra mins in your fitness then in all likelihood we are not the correct preference for you and it is one of the best IUI Centres in Gurgaon.

Nirvana Clinic in Bhopal has made a as an alternative tremendous call inside the town. According to many, the medical doctor classifies as one of the 'go-to' widespread physicians inside the location. The stronghold this medical doctor has in the medical discipline has no longer only drawn in patients from in and around the place but from throughout the metropolis as well.

India IVF Clinic

India IVF Clinic Dream is to peer Smile at the face of Childless Couples Worldwide with the aid of being Economical and Reasonable. We are very passionate to make you pregnant via the modern day present day services to be had. We Believe in out of the field wondering. We’ll assist you to workout an person fertility programme that’s proper for you. To know us better meet and proportion the enjoy of a number of our sufferers who come from all walks of lifestyles.

India IVF Clinic is a Fertility Centre which is positioned in Sector forty, Gurgaon. The centre has helped many infertile patients in finding a solution to their infertility problems by the usage of the cutting-edge techniques and generation in infertility treatments. This health facility has a group of IVF experts and a professional personnel to ensure reproductive fulfillment. They give offerings like Embryo Donor Program, Egg Donor Program, Clinical Embryology, In-Vitro Fertilization (Test Tube Baby), Endoscopy, Sperm Donor Program, ART Consultation, and Laparoscopy.

For more information, Call Us :  +91-8929020600

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Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part III

A few years ago, in 2013, I wrote a couple of posts based on an intriguing search string that had led someone to this blog. These two posts were:

Destiny and Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity (Part I)

...and...

Addendum on Destiny and Metaphysical Structure (Part II)

I have just discovered that the search string that I found interesting, “destiny and metaphysical structure of historic humanity” is mostly drawn from the first page of Oswald Spengler’s The Decline of the West (Der Untergang des Abendlandes). Here is the paragraph in which the search string was (mostly) taken: 

“Is there a logic of history? Is there, beyond all the casual and incalculable elements of the separate events, something that we may call a metaphysical structure of historic humanity, something that is essentially independent of the outward forms social, spiritual and political which we see so clearly? Are not these actualities indeed secondary or derived from that something? Does world-history present to the seeing eye certain grand traits, again and again, with sufficient constancy to justify certain conclusions? And if so, what are the limits to which reasoning from such premisses may be pushed?”

Now that I know the origin of the phrase, and it can be contextualized not only in a complete sentence, but also within the philosophy of history of Oswald Spengler, it makes a bit more sense. And now I realize, in retrospect, that I was unknowingly making a commentary on Spengler in the two posts linked above.

Spengler in this opening passage employs a series of rhetorical questions in order to suggest a kind of historical Platonism, in which there is, behind the apparent randomness of the ordinary business of life, a metaphysical structure. The rhetorical question with which Spengler leads is, “Is there a logic of history?” I am among those who would affirm that, yes, there is a logic to history, But would immediately qualify (or perhaps disqualify) that assertion, because I know that it would be immediately misconstrued. How might such an assertion be misconstrued?

The approach Spengler suggests in this opening paragraph could be developed in an unimaginative way in which a number of obligatory stages that any civilization must pass through are delineated and then applied retroactively to historical civilizations. We are not, however, limited to this predictable and unimaginative approach. We can take the idea of a metaphysical structure of historical humanity in much more interesting directions. A metaphysics of the philosophy of history need not be limited to the experience of historic humanity. On the contrary, a purely formal approach ought to be applicable to any historical experience, anywhere in the universe, at any time in the history of the universe (including in the future).  

To the last of the above-quoted rhetorical questions -- “...what are the limits to which reasoning from such premisses may be pushed?” -- I would respond without hesitation: formal historiography. I have written a few blog posts in which I suggest the possibility of a formal historiography -- Big History and Scientific Historiography, History in an Extended Sense, Rational Reconstructions of Time, An Alternative Formulation of Rational Reconstructions of Time, and Placeholders for Null-Valued Time -- and I think that, once the knowledge of history can can subjected to formalization (a task as yet too complex and to subtle for us today, but also a task not beyond our descendants), we can have history as a formal science.

Think of how difficult it is for mathematics to capture a mathematical intuition in an adequate formalism; the problem of history poses even greater problems for formalization than mathematical thought: historical knowledge is more probabilistic, more subtle, more elusive, and more complex than mathematical knowledge, and so the task of formalizing this body of knowledge is far more daunting. However, it is far from an impossible task, and it is a task to which we can begin to apply ourselves, however imperfectly.

The ancient question of historiography is whether the study of the past is an art or a science. I would answer by saying that history will not only be a science someday, but that it will be a formal science. However, until it is a science, it must remain an art. History, for the time being, must be an admixutre of aspirational science and practical art.

In so far as history today approximates being a science, it is an adventure science, and I have myself indirectly advocated for the adventure science aspect of history every time I have made the claim that, in order to understand history, it is necessary to travel to see with one’s own eyes where history has transpired. And I have said this frequently, if not in my writing, at least when I have had the opportunity to browbeat anyone with my views on history. There are practical consequences of this advocacy. Let me try to explain.

We have all heard of young people emerging from their university education with a crippling student debt. Imagine, under other circumstances, what they might have done with this money. If some young person came to me and said they could float a loan for tens of thousands of dollars and asked me how they could best spend this money to education themselves, I would tell them to hit the road and to travel for as long as the money lasted for them. Certainly at that age they would spend a lot of time at play under such circumstances (just as many do at universities), but play in a new environment is a learning experience, and due to the informal state of our contemporary knowledge of history, we still acquire tacit knowledge from travel that relevant to history.

How do we get from travel as a necessary requisite to understanding the past to a science of history? And how do we get from the ideal of history as a formal science to understanding (or at least appreciating) human destiny and the metaphysical structure of humanity (which includes our historic experience, both as individuals and as peoples)?

This is, admittedly, a long road. The institutions of historiography today, as they exist embodied in academic institutions, are not configured in a way either to immerse students in the atmosphere and ambiance of the past, nor to get them to understand the formal structures that lie below the apparently random events that distract us in the present. This is both a theoretical problem and a pedagogical problem. The Pedagogical problem is part of the reason that traditional fields of study have such difficulty in breaking free from ingrained institutional habits. Moreover, the pedagogical problem is embedded in a larger sociological problem, which is the ultimate context of the pedagogical problem, and the only way to understand it.

However, it will be the theoretical problem that will ultimately overturn existing paradigms of historiography (along with their institutions), and also, I think, how history is taught and the way it is understand by those so taught. To focus on the theoretical problems of the metaphysical structure of historic humanity, then, is to contribute to the formulation of a “disruptive” paradigm of history that will eventually supplant conventional historiography, and will even supplant, displace, and replace long-standing assumptions regarding the human condition.

Oswald Spengler and Human Destiny

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part I

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part II

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part III

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part IV

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part V 

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part VI 

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part VII 

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part VIII 

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part IX 

Metaphysical Structure of Historic Humanity, Part X