#ikea me

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[pandadrake]

Shots fired by the Spider-man sequels.

Was ruminating on how Miles and Miguel are technically both 'Spider-man 2' in their respective universes. Got me thinking about the other Spider-successors in the cast, and also what if they all got matching T-shirts or something.

[usarei-arts]

💫☄️ you, me and the stars ☄️💫

full artwork from 'Vitae', a Dazai zine i took part in where i thought of and fed myself a highly specific soukoku regal astronomers AU 🥰

[daftpatience]

drawing my beautifol son Keyboard

[sisifroggy]

People are so wild about hating Wyll for "being mean to Astarion" for the rat diet comment like I haven't had to talk ya golden boy out of committing war crimes 4 times before noon today

[quail-in-red]

For @geesenoises, based on her fic about hp wizards playing a muggle-themed dnd campaign

[g1ngerbeer]

miscellaneous

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Of all the theories as to how Carmilla and her daughters found eachother in Hell (adoption, reuniting after they died, one or all three being Hellborn, ect;), I think my personal favorite is the one where Carmilla was either pregnant when she died or later gave birth to a child she miscarried when she was alive.

But whether or not that’s true, one of my favorite crack theories/headcanons about Carmilla being pregnant in Hell is how absolutely weird the other Overlords would be about it- because let’s be real, they would absolutely be weird about it. Maybe supportive and weird, but weird.

Zestial, nervously following Carmilla around: My darling. My own heart. I beg of thou, please, for just a moment.

Carmilla, still stubbornly walking around in her ridiculously sharp shoes: I’M FINE.

Zestial, who’s been trying to get her to sit down or at least change her shoes for over an hour: 0,_0

Rosie, crouched at her side with a glass of something red and questionable: I’m telling you, honey, just try this. It’ll cure that morning sickness in a jiffy.

Carmilla, curled up on her bathroom floor: …it disturbs me that I’m nauseous enough to actually be considering this.

Zestial comes to her rescue and shoos Rosie out to go make her some (GINGER) tea before Carmilla can do something she’ll regret.

Alastor, gazing suspiciously: Why on earth is your abdomen moving like that? Is something trying to break out?

Carmilla, too exhausted to deal with this: That movement is my baby kicking, Alastor.

Alastor: Pardon? You mean to tell me that one can see that on the outside? Eugh.

Carmilla, glaring at him: You are so lucky you’re not worth getting up for.

- Rosie insists on throwing her a baby shower. Vox and Alastor get kicked out for fighting and are forced to put together the IKEA furniture for the nursery as punishment.

- I seriously doubt this lot can build and work an ultrasound machine, so something like this is likely.

Carmilla, slowly coming to after giving birth: Mmmh…?

Rosie, happily bouncing one baby in her arms: Oh good, she’s up! Congratulations, sweetie. You have two beautiful daughters 🥰

Carmilla: ….

Zestial, who’s gently cradling the other: Carmilla…? Is something the matter?

Carmilla: …there’s really two of them. I thought I was hallucinating.

BONUS:

Fun fact- some scientists say cats have sensitive enough hearing that they can hear babies’ heartbeats within their mother’s bodies.

Husk, staring at Carmilla:

Carmilla, who’s still processing that she’s pregnant and hasn’t begun telling anyone else: …is something wrong?

Husk, ears bristling slightly: h o w m a n y h e a r t s d o y o u h a v e ?

[dr11ft]

robin's colors / what ifs

[mamawasatesttube]

anyways. i think cassie needs to text tim having a minor meltdown in an ikea restroom because cissie asked her to come shopping for her new apartment with her and then looked at a bed and fluttered her eyelashes and asked if cassie would be down to come over and help her assemble furniture later. and cassie had a moment of butch euphoria so hard she panicked and ran to the restroom instead of actually answering.

tim, uniquely unhelpful: ??? ikea furniture isn't even that durable or heavy. you should take her to an actual home furnishings store and get some solid wood stuff instead of particle board. do you want a gift card i can get you one. there's a furniture outlet 3.6 miles from the ikea where you are. i feel like she'd appreciate an actual hardwood bed more, it can withstand way more of a beating cassie: UOU CANT JUST SAY THOSW WRODS TO ME RIGHT NPW????@?@?@@???@?!??!?!?!?!?!?@?#?#?@?

tim is trying so hard to be helpful via simply stating facts about furniture durability and usefulness. he is not being helpful

[weird-an]

And he's supposed to be the "normal one"…

[liltaireissocute]

[PERC'ILDAN]

What are they doing? Option A: they are getting ready to play TTRPG; option B: they are actively assembling an Ikea table.

I picked secret third option

[alphabetcompletionist]

you've known ikea for the blåhaj, icon of the trans community. now for the alphabet community, we have tea cookies

🫓/29

[deterioratingpisces]

“What? What?!” “It’s morning!” “I lost time. Things got a little heated.” “With a boy! Things got heated with a boy. I was at home picking lint off the sofa!” “I said to join us.” “The night’s gone, the room’s soiled and once again, I’m here with mop and mindlessness to clean it up.” “So the room got dirty, so what? I’ll clean it up.” “No, I clean it up! You make the mess and I clean it up! Mark it on the calendar, align it with Ursa Major. Louis’ tri-annual fuck off and find me with apologies to follow.” “I’m sorry.” “You seek comfort in the arms of lowlifes and unfortunates, and broken children, fine.” “Oh, fine! The fine that doesn’t sound like fine.” “But revealing our nature to a reporter you met in a bar ten hours ago? What if it was published?” “I was having some fun!-“ “-You don’t have enough to fear from Paris?-” “-I was in the middle of ending things, when you-“ “-No you’d have been passed out on the floor next to him, Louis! Out on the feet from the drugs you stuffed him with!” “Oh this is boring! You’re boring! You are so boring!” “And here come the drugs.” “Colorless.-” “-Up the fangs, down this road.-” “-Flavorless.-“ “-Into the heart and off with the fingers, feet.-“ “-Dull! Dull! Dull!-“ “-And wallowing brain.-“ “-Dull nights, dull weeks! Dull months, dull as fuck! Suffocation by the world’s softest, beigest pillow. The ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more fascinating, than decades with you! Oh there it is!The half-blank, half-apocalyptic look! But what does it mean tonight, huh? Does he want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight? Huh?“ “Okay. Okay, perhaps. But am I as boring as the blather committed onto the ferric tapes of your fascinating boy? ‘Oh, it’s so, so hard to be me.’-” “-Picking lint off the sofa?!-“ “-‘It’s so hard to kill humans. I can feel their feelings as I drain them.’-“ “-You sat on your hands and put your ear to the wind.-” “-‘Everyone I know wrongs me.’” “Okay. Okay, let’s wake the boy up and let’s try you. ‘I’m the vampire Armand and my daddy vampire groomed me into a little bitch.’-“ “-‘My brother tossed himself off a roof!’-“ “-‘the vampires who murdered my daddy‘-“ “-‘my sister buried me alive.’-“ “-‘made me pretend I didn’t have a dick for 240 years.’-“ “-‘My daughter was my sister was my throw pillow. When he wouldn’t look at me kindly. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat.’-“ “I talked shit about him the whole time! So what?!” “The name!! The name! Unuttered in our home for 23 years, said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer.” “Our problems aren’t about him.” “And you threw her name around just for cover, but it always circled back to him.” “I loved her.” “But she didn’t love you. Not like he did, not like I have.”

Dialogue excerpt from Interview with the Vampire Season 2, Episode 5. © 2024 AMC Networks.

[my-darling-boy]

Unlocking my full potential as a historical reenactor today

[theaceofshovels]

There is something to be said about the connection between man and shark…

Couldn’t be me, making a joke about giving Izzy a Blahaj and then proceeding to think about whole au based on the emotional significance he puts on this stupid shark plush.

Bonus:

I decided he would go to great efforts to make the shark to different things and then ask Lucius to draw it in order to immortalise it. Lucius, while sceptical at first, eventually goes alone with this after realising what the shark means to him. The shark’s name is Eddie btw :)