#yes there is ikea in hell

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Of all the theories as to how Carmilla and her daughters found eachother in Hell (adoption, reuniting after they died, one or all three being Hellborn, ect;), I think my personal favorite is the one where Carmilla was either pregnant when she died or later gave birth to a child she miscarried when she was alive.

But whether or not that’s true, one of my favorite crack theories/headcanons about Carmilla being pregnant in Hell is how absolutely weird the other Overlords would be about it- because let’s be real, they would absolutely be weird about it. Maybe supportive and weird, but weird.

Zestial, nervously following Carmilla around: My darling. My own heart. I beg of thou, please, for just a moment.

Carmilla, still stubbornly walking around in her ridiculously sharp shoes: I’M FINE.

Zestial, who’s been trying to get her to sit down or at least change her shoes for over an hour: 0,_0

Rosie, crouched at her side with a glass of something red and questionable: I’m telling you, honey, just try this. It’ll cure that morning sickness in a jiffy.

Carmilla, curled up on her bathroom floor: …it disturbs me that I’m nauseous enough to actually be considering this.

Zestial comes to her rescue and shoos Rosie out to go make her some (GINGER) tea before Carmilla can do something she’ll regret.

Alastor, gazing suspiciously: Why on earth is your abdomen moving like that? Is something trying to break out?

Carmilla, too exhausted to deal with this: That movement is my baby kicking, Alastor.

Alastor: Pardon? You mean to tell me that one can see that on the outside? Eugh.

Carmilla, glaring at him: You are so lucky you’re not worth getting up for.

- Rosie insists on throwing her a baby shower. Vox and Alastor get kicked out for fighting and are forced to put together the IKEA furniture for the nursery as punishment.

- I seriously doubt this lot can build and work an ultrasound machine, so something like this is likely.

Carmilla, slowly coming to after giving birth: Mmmh…?

Rosie, happily bouncing one baby in her arms: Oh good, she’s up! Congratulations, sweetie. You have two beautiful daughters 🥰

Carmilla: ….

Zestial, who’s gently cradling the other: Carmilla…? Is something the matter?

Carmilla: …there’s really two of them. I thought I was hallucinating.

BONUS:

Fun fact- some scientists say cats have sensitive enough hearing that they can hear babies’ heartbeats within their mother’s bodies.

Husk, staring at Carmilla:

Carmilla, who’s still processing that she’s pregnant and hasn’t begun telling anyone else: …is something wrong?

Husk, ears bristling slightly: h o w m a n y h e a r t s d o y o u h a v e ?

[grimmpheonix]

IKEA AU BEST AU

hollow knight ikea au.

[running-in-the-dark]

went to bed early and woke up before 8am today! pretty cool. except I woke up with a bad headache and eventually had a very long nap.

I'm just so damn tired! like, no matter how much or how well or when I sleep, I'm still tired all day. so it's just pointless trying to fix my sleep schedule (when I'll just be asleep most of the day anyway).

[submattenthusiast]

handy

summary - rewarding matt for doing your handy work.

pairings; sub!matt x soft dom!reader

contents; smut; handjobs; oral (m! receiving) ; multiple orgasms ; use of pet-names (mommy, mama,baby, princess, etc), praise kink.

notes - watched nic's video and got inspired ,enjoy! not proofread.

walking down the huge aisles in ikea you were overwhelmed, to say the least. you needed a new vanity for your apartment, as you had just moved in a couple of weeks ago. hand in hand with your boyfriend matt, who came along to look at your options and show his skills, claiming to be a professional vanity builder. 

you were beginning to lose hope, none of the vanities matched the vibe you wanted for your room. “what about this one?” matt suggested, pointing at a huge white vanity. you turned in his direction, silently praying that this was the one. the vanity was perfect, with wide drawers on both sides, and a huge mirror with multiple vibrant lights. “yes yes that’s the one!!” you exclaimed excitedly. you observed it closer looking at all the details before purchasing. “this better be the one you want it’s huge and $250 baby” he chuckled, holding the flimsy price tag.

“it is i promise and since you’re mr professional, i’ll pay” you joked, pushing the cart towards the register. “the hell you are,” he said, making a bitter face, the thought of you paying for anything made him sick. “i can pay for myself matt’’ you defended. he snatched the wallet from your hands, shoving it in his back pocket. “you can but i’m a gentleman,” he winked. 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

“why did i volunteer to do this dumb shit” matt angrily groaned, he sighed deeply, frustrated wasn’t even the proper word to use. his cheeks tinted red and sweat was dripping down his pale neck. though sweaty he looked so sexy, white wife beater showing his tattooed arm, muscles popping out now and then.  “maybe if you read the instructions” you teased, gesturing towards the untouched packet in the corner of the room. he looked up at you with a glare, unamused by your comment. 

“and maybe you could help out” he suggested sarcastically, returning his focus to the materials on the floor. usually, his attitude would land him in hot water, but this time it was different. maybe because he was doing you a huge favor or maybe it was because he looked good doing it. either way, you wanted to jump his bones. you bit down hard on your lips, admiring the view in front of you. 

“hey! i tried to help but you waved me away smartass” you shot back. you adjusted your position on the bed, trying to ignore how bad he was turning you on. he gave you a look then rolled his eyes. “yeah yeah’’ he mumbled. “if it helps, you look good building it.’’ you complimented, good was an understatement though. “i’m all sweaty and gross, you into that?’’ he chuckled, posing as if he was a model. 

“no but i am into you being on your knees’’ you laughed, raising your eyebrows twice. you changed positions from sitting to lying down on your bed, fluffy blankets touching your skin delicately. “fuckin’ freak’’ he joked, making his way over to the edge of the bed, on his knees. he settled at the side of your bed, inches away from your face.

you reach your hands out to play with his brunette locks, a bit damp due to sweat, not that you minded. his eyes fluttered shut as you continued, matt loved it when you played with his hair, turning him on more than he would ever admit. “you’re so pretty,” you whispered, removing your hands from his hair down to his cheeks, decorated with a slight stubble. you moved a hand under his chin, making him look up at you. you placed your lips on his, softly kissing him, tasting the hint of vanilla on his pink lips. you deepened the kiss, opening your mouth and allowing matt to slip his tongue in. you moaned into his mouth, infatuated with the feeling of his lips on yours. 

you broke away from the kiss, needing to catch your breath. your chest moved up and down as you took slow breaths. finally opening your eyes, yours met matt’s blue ones, making you a bit nervous. eye contact with matt was always intense. his cheeks were flushed, as the kiss was a bit much. “you can’t kiss me like that then send me back to work” he stated, missing your lips already. he rested his head on your hands as if he was going to sleep. 

“how about this?’’ you started, he lifted his head, ears practically perking up, giving you his full attention. “if you finish the vanity i’ll give you a reward” you finished. “what kind of reward?” he questioned, he was intrigued by your proposal. you moved away from his face, returning to your original position. “i’ve got a few things in mind, but you’ll never find out if you don’t get to it,’’ you said, pointing to the mess on the floor.  

he shot up from his place on the floor, knees almost giving out. he was determined now, he’ll take whatever you give him. he shuffled over to the corner where the instructions were, picked it up, and showed it to you. “good boy” you chuckled, knowing he loved the praise. his cock twitched in his pants at your words, he stifled a moan, not wanting to give in that easily.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

“princess look look! i’m all done” he cheered, showing off the fully built vanity. he repeatedly pointed at it. you stood from the bed, excitedly skipping over towards matt. you sat in the chair, looking in the mirror, opening all the drawers, and ensuring everything was sturdy. you looked back at matt, who was cracking open a root beer, and smiled at him mouthing a “thank you”. he winked before sipping his favorite soda.

he walked towards the bed and flopped down, heavy sighs came from his lips.

he got comfortable in the blanket before he said “now what about that reward’’ matt said, raising an eyebrow while looking at you through the mirror. “is that the only reason you built this? that’s not very professional of you” you tease, getting up to join him on your bed. “very funny,” he said blankly. 

“lose that attitude if you want to cum tonight” you shot back, knowing that’ll shut him up. you sat next to him, throwing your legs over his thighs. “yes mommy, m sorry” he quickly submitted, knowing he couldn’t handle a denied orgasm tonight. “good, now what do you want mommy to do?” you questioned. today was all about you and now you wanted to take care of him. his rough hands caressed your plush thighs, wanting to be touching you always. 

“want your mouth, a-and your hands’ mama please” he whimpers, looking a bit embarrassed. you melted at his words, he was so shy during times like this, never being able to tell you what he wanted directly. “yeah, sweet boy? that all?’’, you wanted to make sure that he was getting everything he wanted tonight. he blushed at the pet name, a small smile forming at your words. “yes yes, m too tired for the full thing y'know, building” he shyly admitted. you giggled in response, “that’s alright, just makin’ sure” you reassured him.

the praise went straight to his dick, not trying to hide it whatsoever. after you called him a “good boy” earlier, he couldn't think straight. 

“lay back against the headboard for me okay?” you instruct. matt unraveled himself from inside the blankets and sat up against the headboard, just like you said. he was so eager for you to touch him but he just wanted to be good for you. you spread his long legs just enough for you to get between them. you sat on your heels in front of the boy, reaching down to unbuckle his belt. he sucked in a sharp breath once you pulled his pants down. 

his dick popped out of his boxers, hitting his stomach, wincing at the cold air hitting his tip. you were practically drooling, the sight made you horny. his tip was an angry red, leaking precum, begging to be touched. you spit into your hand before reaching down and wrapping your hand around him.

you pumped his dick lazily, starting at the base, thumb grazing over his tip. matt let out a sigh of relief, eyes fluttering shut, your hands felt tremendous around him. you wrapped another hand around him, adding to the pleasure. he cried out at the feeling, “o-oh shit, a little faster please?” he pleaded. you obliged, speeding up your movements. his whole body reacted to you, hips bucking up in response, thighs tensing up, stomach clenching.his fingers gripped at the sheets under him, pleasure becoming overwhelming.

“you’re doing so good, baby,” you cooed, praising him. his dick twitched in your hands, warning you of his orgasm. his mouth parted as he moaned out, ear- splittingly loud. “close fuck’’ he warned, holding back from cumming. you adjusted how you were jerking him, focusing more on his tip, rubbing in a circular motion.

“mommy cum please let-let me cum” he stuttered out, he wasn’t gonna be able to hold it much longer. you removed one hand, giving him a few more pumps before letting him cum. “you got it, cum for me” ,his legs shook upon hearing the word cum. matt threw his head back against the velvet headboard as ropes of cum spilled from his cock. you worked him through his orgasm, squeezing lightly at his base, milking him dry. whimpers and curses fell from his mouth as he came down from his high.

you slowly removed your hand from around him, wiping off the cum on the sheets below you. “you’re so good fuck” he spoke, mind blown by his previous orgasm. “i’m not even done yet matt” you snort. he was already fucked out and you hadn’t given him the head he requested. his eyes shot open, cursing himself for being needy earlier.

you take a deep breath before lowering yourself down. his cock still stood tall, a bit intimidating. you swallowed harshly before kissing up to the tip, leftover cum decorating your lips. he hissed as you moved your lips on him, still sensitive from before. “n-no teasing please n-need you” he murmured. “so impatient” you whispered before filling your mouth with him.

he let out a sharp breath as you took him fully. you started easy, gradually setting a pace. you gave the tip a few kitten licks, causing him to buck up into your mouth, tip hitting the back of your throat. spit started to dribble from the corner of your mouth, making a lubricant for you. his slender fingers curled into your hair, careful not to tug,

you start to bob your head up and down, fully adjusted to his length. his jaw went slack, continuous sobs spilling out. you moved your tongue skillfully against him, swiping in rushed pace, eager to bring him to the edge. your hands gripped on his thighs for stability, nails digging into his pale skin, earning a groan from him.

slurping noises and breathy moans rang throughout the room. matt was in bliss, the warmth of your mouth felt heavenly, as if you were made for him. he had completely disregarded the idea of not pulling on your hair, he tugged hard. “ah ah close again pl-fuck please” he cried, tangling his fingers further into your hair. 

you were unable to give him a vocal response as your mouth was occupied, you gave his thigh a couple taps. he looked at you with puppy eyes, begging to cum, you nodded before focusing back on his cock. 

a couple more bobs and he was cumming down your throat, white spurts filling your mouth. “o-oh my god mommy” he said breathlessly, “thank you fuck thank you felt so good” he rambled. you sat up from your position, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “you didn't have to swallow that m sorry i couldn’t hold it” he said, embarrassed.  you sat against the headboard now, extending your arms around matt. “it’s okay sweet boy, i wanted to alright?” you reassured him, kissing the top of his head. his hair was still damp from earlier but you didn’t care. all you wanted to do was make him feel good.

a/n - ass ending once again, thanks for reading !

taglist; @mattybsgroupie @frnkocnlvr @fratboychrisera @issysh3ll @zariyam 

[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

Some angst to fluff of himbo kiri finding out reader is pregnant?-🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️

Red Riot: Unbreakable Baby Daddy

Eijiro Kirishima x Reader

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ship: Eijiro Kirishima x Fem Reader! 💋

Genre: Angst to Fluff, Romance, Pregnancy, Smut

CW: MDNI!, A18+, PIV, pregnancy sex, oral, lemon, profanity

Link to My Master List

Well, shit.

You stand in your apartment bathroom nervously tapping your foot as you re-read the pregnancy test instructions. Plus sign means positive. Minus sign means negative. You grab the test with clumsy hands and it almost goes sailing into the toilet – almost. You manage to catch it before it hits the porcelain throne and you scramble to read it again. There, on the cheap drugstore pregnancy test, is the faintest of plus signs.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Okay – gotta think this through. Have you always wanted a baby? Yes. But are you ready for a baby now!?

Your mind whirs through all of the details of your life – steady partner? Check. Reliable source of income? Check. Decent living space? Check.

Sure, you’re a little younger than you would have liked, but to hell with it – you have everything you need to bring a baby into this world. So why the heck not!?

A baby! You’re going to have a baby. And not just any baby – Eijiro Kirishima’s baby.

You laugh giddily and race out of the bathroom to get your phone. It’s lying on the floral Ikea bedspread where you left it.

 You click open your home and see your background is currently an image of Keanu Reeves from John Wick. Oh. That’s right – you had swapped our your usual background pic of Kirishima for this image last night. After you two had fought for an hour.

Your petty revenge on Eijiro has always been to change your phone background to a hot, skinny actor. It always drives him a little crazy – he hates to see you lust over other celebrities. Especially the slim, emo looking ones – it always makes him a little on edge that his big muscular himbo body might no longer be your taste. It’s petty of you, and maybe even a little mean playing into your boyfriend’s insecurities like this…but it’s really the only ammo you have against him when you’re annoyed or angry. Of all the things a person could do to get back at their partner for something, having Keanu as your phone background doesn’t seem so bad.

You swipe to unlock your phone and pull up your last conversation with Kiri. You know you need to tell him ASAP, but the two of you haven’t spoken since your blowout the night before. It’s not as if you’ve broken up or anything, but you both needed some space.

You think back to the argument. The two of you rarely fight, but this particular quarrel had been festering for months. Kirishima maintains in public that he’s single. He refuses to put you in the spotlight, worrying that in announcing he’s “involved” with you, he’ll be putting you in harm’s way. He’s put away so many villains over the past decade, and he fears that they would come after you as revenge on Red Riot.

For months you’ve been telling him you’re ready to take on the risk. The two of you have been a couple for 3 years now. When he refuses to acknowledge that he has a girlfriend in the press, it makes you feel insecure. Does he not take this relationship seriously? Does he not think that you two are capable of going the distance? In private, he worships the ground you walk on, but is that all just for show when you’re alone?

The night before, you had expressed these fears and doubts, practically begging Eijiro to call his publicist and break the news that Japan’s Sturdy Hero is taken and off the dating market.

Aside from your personal insecurities, you hate seeing the way that women endlessly flirt with Eijiro in public. They ask for selfies, wrapping their hands around his thick biceps and planting chaste kisses on his chiseled cheek. Eijiro, being the manly hero he is, always vehemently shuts down their advances. But you always wonder, if the right pretty woman were to come along and ask for a date – would he say yes?

Despite your anxieties, Red Riot is unwaveringly loyal, and would never entertain the thought of cheating. But that doesn’t stop the media from insinuating that he’s dating a new super model or Pro Hero every other week. You hate seeing him plastered on magazines in the grocery store, photoshopped next to a Top 20 hero with a nice rack and a thousand watt smile.

You think back to the argument last night, replaying it in your head like an old film reel.

You had stood in your tiny apartment kitchen, cleaning up after a delicious dinner the two of you had cooked together. Earlier that day, you had seen a tabloid at the mall showing off a particularly salacious photo of Red Riot after a particularly gruesome battle – half of his uniform had been torn off, revealing budging muscles and his dark happy trail that disappeared into his work pants. The image showed your boyfriend sitting on the edge of an ambulance as a pretty nurse smiled up at him and wrapped up a wound on his arm. The tabloid had a flashy title splashed across the cover “Red Riot Finds Love in the Field!?” You had begrudgingly purchased the magazine, bringing it home so you could show Kiri how ridiculous the media is getting, and how much it bothers you.

“Look at this, Eij. I have to see these all the time.” You toss the magazine in his direction and he catches it, smirking at the image on the cover.

“Wow, how did they even get that picture? I didn’t see any press at that fight.” He wonders, flipping through to the article. “’Chivalrous Hero Red Riot does it again – defeats the villain and seemingly gets the girl. Did we see sparks between the sturdy hero and the pretty EMT patching him up? Sources on the ground say he asked the emergency worker to dinner to thank her for her efforts.’ Wow, babe, you’re totally right. They’re absolutely making shit up about me. But hey – I do think I look pretty good in this pic, don’t you?”

He cocks an eyebrow and holds the article up for you to see – you didn’t see this picture earlier. You had been too angry to look at the actual article. The image shows Eijiro standing strong in his hero gear – his arms are crossed and a confident smile sparkles across his handsome face. The picture turns you on a bit – you always love the way he has learned to own the spotlight, to look unbreakable in the face of danger. It’s one of the reasons why you love him so damn much – his confidence in tough situations. You know that it took a lot of work for him to get to this point – he used to second guess himself so much when he was younger. But Eijiro had put in the time and the work in building his self esteem and his hero career, and now he is able to save people with a grin on his face. You’re so damn proud of the strong, capable hero he’s become.

You push down your arousal and get back to the point. “Yeah, babe. You always look great. But look…the point is I don’t like the way that they are always trying to ship you with whatever woman is in your vicinity. It really hurts me.” You pause, looking away from the article and getting back to washing your dishes in the sink. You pass a wet dish to Eijiro which he dries wordlessly before placing it in your dish cabinet. “I want you to tell people about me – I want to be part of your life in every way possible. Babe…please.”

“No.” He says soundly, before rattling off all of the reasons why he doesn’t want your relationship public. The two of you continue washing and drying dishes together as you talk.

“But Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship is public! Kyoka and Denki! Shoto and YaMomo!” You say accusatorily, shutting off the faucet as you finish washing the final bowl. You shove it into his chest pointedly and stalk off to the living room. He dries the bowl and places it on the counter before following. You plop down on the couch and cross your arms. Eijiro is giving you a weird, stricken look. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation.

“Babe. I’m gonna say something that’s going to really piss you off. But I need you to understand if from my point of view. All of our couple friends…well, yeah they can be public about their relationships. Because they’re all Pro Heroes. And you’re…well, you know. You’re not. You’re a citizen who never worked to develop your quirk and you have no true combat experience. It’s different with all of them.”

You feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and anger. “So what!?” You practically yell, hating to be reminded that you’re the only one in your boyfriend’s massive friend group who isn’t a Hero. “What does that matter? You think I can’t take care of myself!?”

“No, it’s not that. I just want you to think about the training we all have and the threats we face everyday. All of our friends can go toe to toe with the worst super villains known to society. So if some goon came after them looking for revenge…they would be able to deal with it. But babe…you’re not a Pro. I don’t want to get you involved in anything dangerous or scary. I need you to understand that and see if from my perspective.” He goes quiet, looking at you for an answer.

You’re furious. You can kind of understand where he’s coming from here, but whatever stretch of understanding you have is buried under pure undiluted rage.

“So your saying our relationship isn’t the same as all of your friend’s relationships? Ours isn’t worth celebrating and having public?”

“No, that’s not it at all! Babe. You are the most precious thing in my life and I do not want to put you in jeopardy. I need you to understand that.” He says pleadingly.

“I’m tired of seeing all those hot Pro Heros hanging on you and flirting with you on talk shows! I am sick of being quiet and watching other women fawn all over you like you’re some sort of man whore.”

“Y/N…you know that I don’t like getting that attention and that it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to set boundaries with my fans and co-workers and I do feel like people are starting to get more respectful about touching me. Babe, I know you don’t like that and I’m really pushing back when women get close to me out in the field. Please believe me.”

You do. Of course you believe him. But if everyone just knew about your existence, you’re sure they would back the fuck away from your boyfriend.

“Eij. I believe you and I understand where you’re coming from. But I’m so tired of feeling like I’m some kind of dirty secret. I’m just so angry right now, I don’t think I can talk about this anymore tonight. Just…leave.” You’re getting a stress headache. You pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes in an attempt to stave off the pain, but it just gets worse. You walk away, leaving him sitting on the couch and looking upset.

He calls out after you, but doesn’t follow. “Y/N! I just wish you really understood why I want to keep this private. Please.”

A few minutes later, you hear the door slam closed behind him. You don’t text or call each other for the rest of the night.

But none of that matters now. That stupid argument is nothing - not now that Eijiro’s baby is growing deep inside you. You shriek with excitement. You need to let your boyfriend know ASAP. He’s leaving on a big mission soon, and you need to make sure you catch him before he goes into his next strategy session with Katsuki, Sero and Izuku.

You scramble to swipe open your stupid screensaver and pull up your contacts. You hit Kirishima’s name and let it ring, bringing the phone to your ear with giddy excitement.

The phone rings and rings. Finally, you hear your boyfriend’s gravely voice pick up on the other end.

“…hello?” He sounds annoyed.

“Eijiro. I need you to come over to my apartment…like, ASAP.”

His voice instantly looses its cold edge. “What’s wrong? Y/N – is everything alright?”

“Yes. I mean, no. I mean…I’m not sure! But I need you here right now. It’s urgent.”

“Is it about our fight last night? Because I’m still upset about it, but I am sorry if I minimized your feelings. I really can’t leave right now, we’re about to go and - ”

“Eij.” You cut him off midsentence. “I wouldn’t be asking you to leave work if it weren’t super important.”

He sighs, breathing out heavily into the phone receiver. “Okay. Give me 20 minutes.”

“Got it.”

He hangs up. It’s a mark of how upset he still is that he doesn’t end the call with his usual “Love you, sweetheart.” But you don’t care. You have a feeling that what you have to tell him will change everything.

The next 20 minutes are gonna feel like the longest of your life. You feel like you’re bursting at the seams with the news of your positive pregnancy test. You dance and twirl around the little apartment, using your frenetic energy to tidy. You clean the countertop and stove, flip through your junk mail and even fluff the pillows on your navy blue couch.

In a fit of inspiration, you scurry to your room and throw on your black silk dress. It’s sinfully tiny, with a slit running up the thigh. It’s by far Eijiro’s favorite outfit of yours. When he sees you in it, he can’t keep his hands off of you.

By the time that you hear his key turn in the apartment door, you’re fit to vibrate out of your skin you’re so excited. You watch him stumble in across the apartment threshold, looking world-weary and exhausted from a long day of mission strategy and patrolling.

“There’s my hero.” You say, running and throwing your arms around his thick, muscular neck. He catches you easily in his arms, his strong hands running down the smooth silk of your dress in disbelief.

“Is this your way of apologizing?” He mumbles into your shoulder. You laugh, giving him a squeeze before taking a step back from him.

“About that fight we had? It doesn’t matter right now. It’s irrelevant. I need you to forget about it.”

His eyes travel the length of your body, appreciating the way the dress hugs your curves. The slit up your thigh is of particular interest to his bright ruby eyes.

“Consider it forgotten.” He says, but he still sounds skeptical. “Now what was so urgent that you had me leave work in the middle of a strategy session? Bakugo almost ripped my head off when I told him I needed to come to your apartment.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that. He’ll understand.”

“You sound awfully confident about that.” Eijiro raises an eyebrow, a frown plastered on his handsome face. “Must be something pretty important.”

“It is.” You grab his hand, dragging him across your tiny apartment and towards the bathroom. “Join me in the restroom.”

“Uh…okay.” Eijiro is flabbergasted, tossing his workbag to the ground as he follows after you. You pull him into your small blue tiled bathroom and push him down to sit on the toilet seat. Some news is best taken sitting down.

“Alright.” You reach into the medicine cabinet to grab the orange washcloth that you’ve stowed the pregnancy test in. “Close your eyes.”

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He sounds a mix of exhausted, tired and annoyed.

“Just go with it. I promise it’s worth the wait.” He sighs and obeys, closing his eyes and turning his face up towards the ceiling. You marvel for a moment at how – despite his manly himbo physique – he’s just so damn pretty. You hope your baby inherits the sharp curve of his chin and those glimmering ruby eyes.

You unwrap the pregnancy test from the washcloth and hold it out like an offering in front of Eijiro.

“Okay.” You take a shaky breath. “Open your eyes.”

Eijiro does as he’s told and stares blankly at you and the test for a moment.

“What’s this…?” He starts to say, and then it registers. The pregnancy test. The tiny plus sign.

 “OH MY GOD.” He leaps off of where he’s sitting on the toilet seat and scrambles to grab the plastic strip from your hands. He holds it close to his eyes and then far away again, taking in the magnitude of what it means. “Is this what I think it is!? When? How!?” He looks up at you in wonder over the test.

“Remember that camping trip with all of our friends up at the lake? We borrowed Bakugo’s car so we could go pick up some pizza from town, but we ended up pulling off the road and fucking in the back seat before we cleared the woods.” You smile, thinking back to the fated trip a few weeks ago.

Eijiro’s face is ghostly white as his eyes widen in realization. “Oh my God – we didn’t use a condom.” He sucks in a breath.

“I asked if you wanted to cum in my mouth but you were just begging me to let you cum inside. You kept calling me “sweet heart” and the “love of my life.” And it was so pathetic and sweet that I thought oh, what the hell! Maybe just this once! And now here we are.”

“Oh my God.” Eijiro takes a few steps forward and then sinks to his knees before you on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. Even on kneeling, he’s just so tall. He brings his head down to rest on your belly. You tense up, unsure of what to say. Everything is still and quiet, and your nerves are on edge.

Finally, Eijiro looks up at you, his wide ruby eyes glimmering with tears. A shaky grin spreads across his face. “Babe…I’m so happy.”  He places a kiss to your stomach before disentangling himself. He gets back to his feet and pulls you back into his arms. “I’m sorry for that bullshit argument. It seems so silly now.”

He nuzzles his face into your neck. “I just…” You hear him choke back a sob, his shoulders shaking. “I love you so much. I can’t even tell you what this means to me…I always pictured us having kids someday, but it always seemed like such a distant future thing. And now here we are. Sure, it’s unplanned and there’s a lot we need to figure out. But God, I feel so lucky.”

This brings tears to your eyes as well. You hug him back, breathing in his scent deeply. He smells like cinnamon – you’re sure he grabbed one of his favorite cinnamon donut snacks on the walk over from his agency. You snuggle into his arms and stifle back come joyful crying.

“We’re going to have the most beautiful family, Eij.” You say into his thick chest.

“Yes, we are. I bet the baby will have your beautiful eyes, and that glowing smile.” He runs his hand over your back soothingly, reaching across you to gingerly place the pregnancy test on the sink counter.

“I hope it looks like you – shark teeth and all. Can you imagine? Red Riot, Jr.” You laugh. “You’ll have a little mini-Kiri running around.” You both grin at the image. “I should start calling you Red Riot: Unbreakable Baby Daddy.”

This makes Eijiro laugh. “Hey I like that! But wow, Y/N. Just wow.”

He sweeps you off your feet and into his arms, carrying you out of the bathroom and into your clean living room.

“We have so much to talk though. Hell, I should call out of that mission this week. We need to figure a ton out. Whose apartment do we want to move into – or should we get a new place together? We should do some financial planning, figure out childcare. What’s your job’s maternity leave policy look like? Shit, we’ll need to find a doula. Someone at the agency recommended having a doula. And at what point do we tell our friends? Our parents? Babe, you’ll need to build us one of your signature spreadsheets or planners or whatever, I - ”

“Shhh, Kiri.” You put a finger to his lips. “Babe, there’s plenty of time for all of that. Just let it sink in for a minute.” You’re wrapped up in his arms as he caries you across the room, holding you up like it’s nothing. Your Kirishima is such a strong hero, and you feel a fierce flame of pride flare up in your chest – this man is all yours.

You’re both silent for a moment, taking it all in. A baby. The two of you made a baby. It’s an incredible, almost unfathomable thought.

After a moment or two of quiet, Eijiro looks up at you mischievously. “So yeah, we can figure out all the financial and medical stuff later…but in terms of fuckin’…does this mean 9 months of unlimited cream pies?”

You shriek in surprise.

“OH MY GOD KIRI THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW!?” You cry out, your voice echoing through the apartment as you bat at him playfully, cackling. He leans down so he can capture your lips in a searing kiss. Oh, God. Yeah – he’s being serious. He breaks the kiss and puts you down on the couch lightly so that you’re sitting up and he drops to his knees before you.

“I think we should celebrate, baby.” He slides his hands up under your tiny silk dress, causing the fabric to gather at the tops of your thighs. “Ah, fuck you’re gorgeous.” He runs his fingers across your legs, leaving goose bumps peppering your skin. He peaks beneath your dress to see cute striped panties underneath. A hunger sparks in his eyes – his shark-toothed grin is ravenous, roguish.

He spreads your legs and scoots himself in between them, leaning forward to press a kiss against your clothed pussy. He brings up his hand and runs it across your panties, lightly circling your clit before tracing down, down, down.

“You getting’ wet for me, babe?” He whispers hoarsely, not taking his eyes off of your panties.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” You tease. You’re rewarded with a light pinch to your clit that causes you to yelp in surprise. “Kiri!” He chuckles, using his fingers to move the fabric of your panties to the side, exposing your pussy to the cool air of the room.

“So wet for me, sweet heart.” He grabs your hand, bringing it to his mouth so he can kiss your palm. He takes your forefinger and brings it to his mouth, wrapping his lips around it and sucking. He then moves your hand to your pussy and encourages you to pleasure yourself. “Show me how my baby likes it.”

You moan as you touch yourself, playing with your clit and dipping your fingers shallowly at the entrance of your pussy. Eijiro gets to his feet and takes off his hero costume, dropping his pants and underwear to the ground and freeing his hardening cock.

“You’re putting on quite a show, baby.” He says, leaning forward to slip the dress’s spaghetti straps off your shoulders. “Now show me those pretty tits.” He pushes the fabric of the dress down, exposing your chest. Your nipples perk up the instant the air hits them. He pinches your nipples lightly and then kneads your breasts a bit, one in each hand. The dress is now scrunched across your middle, most of you exposed to Kirishima’s greedy eyes. He takes a step back so that he can begin to stroke his cock as he watches you go to work on your pussy. You bite your lip and look away, almost embarrassed at the intensity of his gaze.

“You warmed up a little, baby?” He asks, leaning forward to plant his arms against the couch with you wedged helplessly in between. He kisses you again, roughly, before peppering kisses down your neck and across your collarbone. He stops to take one of your nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking until you cry out from the pleasure of it.

“Eij!”

He brings his body forward, guiding his cock towards your waiting pussy. You gasp as he smooths his thick member across your delicate, dripping entrance. “You make the prettiest sounds.” He coos, continuing to flex his hips to that you feel his length move against you.

You think he’s about to push inside when he pauses, his cockhead twitching against your entrance delightfully. “Can we do it now, though? Will it hurt the baby?” He says, concern tinting his husky voice.

“I did some research – yeah, we’re fine. Keep going.” You groan out, scooting your hips forward and trying to coax him inside.

“So impatient for me to cum inside you again, ain’t ya?” Eijiro taunts, rubbing his cock back and forth against your vulva. “You sure there’s room for one more in there?”

“God yes. Just fuck me already, Kiri!” You pout, straining to get closer to him.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He says before easing into you. Despite your assurance that the baby would be fine, he still takes extra care as he slides into place. He pauses to let you adjust to his size, but after a moment or two you’re off to the races.

“Jeez, babe…I forgot how damn good it feels to fuck your pussy raw. I can feel you, so tight around me. Fuckkkk.” He takes it slow, shifting his hips softly so that you can feel every inch of his hard cock as it slips and slides within you. You relax into it, your cunt stretching to slowly to accommodate his size. After all these years together, you know each other so well that fucking feels like bliss. You can just relax into it and let him take the lead.

After a few moments of gentle fucking to let you get comfortable, he makes sure you have a secure hold on him. He scoops you up and, cock still lodged deep within you, he gets to his feet. This is one of the things you love about your big, himbo boyfriend – he’s strong enough to be able to fuck you in any position and he can lift you up with absolutely zero effort. His palms flatten under your ass cheeks so he can bounce you up and down and you mewl, leaning your face into his hard chest. Your legs are wrapped around his thick body. He’s so muscular and wide that you have trouble keeping steady. It feels so incredibly good to have him intertwined with you like this, you have to remind yourself to keep your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You like that baby?” He gasps between thrusts. “You like it when I stand and deliver?”

“Oh God yes. Keep on deliverin’.” You slur, enjoying every sensation. He chuckles and obliges, supporting all of your weight in his hands as he continues to move. After a few minutes of this, you can tell he’s getting close by the way he starts squeezing your ass and speaking nonsense.

“You’re my girl, you know that? My absolute number one perfect babe.” His breath hitches as his cock almost slides out completely but he manages to guide it back into you without incident.

“Sit down, Kiri. I wanna ride you.” You whine, kissing his sweat covered collarbone.

“Alright, babe. Whatever you want.” He turns and slowly brings you both down to the couch. You know he’s got a fuck ton of stamina from being a Pro Hero, but standing and fucking has definitely caused him to work up a sweat. You can see that he’s grateful to be back on the couch. He leans back and his back sinks into the comfy backrest of the sofa, and he brings his hands up from your ass to rest on your hips.

“Go on, baby.” He coaches. “Show me how good you are at riding this fat cock.”

You slide your legs down and settle so that you’re straddling him, and bring your hands low to rest on his strong, beefy chest. You lock eyes with him as you slowly raise your hips, bringing yourself up high enough so that his cock is barely inside of you. He watches you with eyes so full of love and attention that it almost takes your breath away. You circle your hips in the air, the head of his cock rolling around your folds before you slam back down on his member, sheathing him in one fowl swoop.

“Damn. Fuck. Y/N.” He throws his head back in ecstasy and grips your hips so hard you’re sure they’ll bruise. “Christ you treat me so well.”

You continue to ride him at a near brutal pace. His breaths become shallow as he chases his high, sure to burst at any moment.

“Fuck! Wait – hold on.” He squeezes your hips and you come to a stop, puzzled. He bites his lip as he glances down between you at your stomach. “I wanna make this last. We’re celebrating, after all.”

You grin. “What do you have in mind, Eij?”

“Climb off of me and come sit on my face. Let me eat you out for a while.” He smiles at you, reaching out with his thumb to smooth a bead of sweat off your brow.

“You sure?

“The way I see it, once the baby starts growing it might get harder for you to climb on top of me. So let’s clock as much face fucking time for you as we can before that happens.” He says eagerly, taking a few moments to circle your clit with the pad of his thumb.

“Eij…you’re such a sweetie pie.” You tweak his nose as you move to get off his dick. He watches you rise up off of his cock, and he moans a little at the loss of contact as he slides out of your pussy.

“Don’t worry.” You say, kissing him on the cheek. “You’ll be back in there before you know it.”

He smiles as he helps you to your feet. “I know, its just feels so damn good to be inside you without a condom, anytime I have to pull out its torture. I keep forgetting that we can do this all the time now.” He lays down across the couch and gets comfortable, placing a pillow beneath his shoulder blades. “Alright, sweetheart. Come up and take a seat.”

Your clit absolutely throbs in anticipation as you climb up on top of him, straddling his face in a position that’s become so familiar. He wraps his arms around your legs and guides you down, swiping his tongue across your pussy with practiced skill.

“Oh, God, Kiri…” You groan, relaxing into it. He drags his tongue across your clit and down to your core, gripping your legs tightly to hold you in place as he takes you apart one lick at a time. You grind your hips back and forth lightly, shimmying against him in a move that probably looks more silly than pornographic. You don’t care, though – it gets the job done. You let him bring you to the brink of orgasm with his mouth alone, gasping as he sucks on your sensitive clit for what feels like hours. When your legs start to shake, it’s a surefire sign that you’re about to tip over the edge.

“Babeee.” You whine as you get close. “Wanna cum on your cock.”

Eijiro stops what he’s doing and says in a muffled voice “You’re so impatient, sweetheart.” You grind against his face in reply, and he laughs. He helps you climb off of him, your legs still shaky and uncoordinated.

You let yourself rest for a moment, taking deep, steadying breaths. You look up at your hero - his gelled up hair is now disheveled and out of place. He’s wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and smiling at you. “Eating you out is one of my favorite hobbies, babe.”

You giggle. “Is it nice to be having sex while everyone else is at work?” You ask, laughing as he easily flips you over onto your belly.

“It is a nice break from a stressful job, yeah.” Eijiro gets behind you, finally pulling the dress down and off your body so that it’s no longer hiked up in a heap around your middle. He lays it delicately on the back of the couch. “Can’t have anything happening to my favorite outfit.” He explains as he smooths out the fabric.

He puts a large hand on your back and slides it up towards your shoulder blades, adding some slight pressure to encourage you to get down on your elbows. He hauls your ass up towards him and settles himself behind you.

“You ready?” He asks, sliding his cock along your folds, using his split and your slick as lube.

“Y-yeah.” You breathe out, body buzzing with anticipation. “Go for it.”

He glides back into you, doggy style. This is your favorite position, as it allows his big cock to hit just the right spot deep inside you. Once again, Eijiro takes it slow. He braces one hand on your hips, the other on your stomach. He spreads his fingers wide against your belly, protective. You know he’s distracted – half of his thoughts are no doubt on the baby and all that it means for the two of you.

He makes love to you like this for quite a while - enjoying the feel of your bare pussy around his cock, reveling in every sigh and moan he can goad from your pretty mouth.

“Kiriii.” You whine, fed up with this slow and easy pace. “Faster, baby.”

He smirks down at you, releasing your hip for a moment so he can deliver a light smack to your ass. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

He picks up his pace, fucking you with practiced skill. He maneuvers his hips in a way that allows him to go deep, concentrating all of his energy on one singular point. When the tip of his cock hits your cervix, you splutter out endless praise.

“Fuck, yes Eij. Fuck fuck fuck, keep going.”

And he does – he hits the same delicious spot over and over and over. You’re overwhelmed with the pleasure of it all, tears coming to your eyes as you feel heat start to pool in your belly. Your legs are shaking beneath you, and you know that the only reason you’re still able to stay in this position is because Kirishima’s strong arms are holding you in place.

“You wanna cum for me, sweetheart?” Eijiro hisses between clenched teeth, concentrating on keeping his pace consistent as he pistons his dick into you. “You look so pretty when you’re all riled up and desperate for my cock like this.”

“Ah – Eij!” You cry out as your pussy flutters around him, you cum hard and fast. Stars dance behind your eyes as your body squeezes and tries to milk Eijiro’s cock.

“Woah – fuck  babe!” He cries out in surprise, not expecting such a forceful orgasm from you. Your pussy feels like absolute heaven around him, and the way your walls squeeze and pull at him causes him to lose himself. He cries out when he cums, ropes of hot, sticky sperm shooting deep inside you. If you weren’t already pregnant, this particular fucking certainly would have given you a run for your money.

“Fuck babe. I’m gonna fuck another baby into you.”  He’s groaning nonsense as he rides out his orgasm, head thrown back and hands gripping you desperately. The overstimulation of it all has you feeling full, complete.

With a few final pumps, he’s spent. He slowly pulls out of you, marveling at the gooey creampie he’s left in his wake.

“Babe…this is insanely hot.” He says, bringing a finger up to push his seed back inside of you. You groan at the contact, overstimulated from cumming so damn hard.

“Kiri stoppp, I need a minute.” You collapse into the couch, rolling over onto your back and shuddering as you try to catch your breath. Eijiro joins you, leaning back into the couch cushions and staring up at the ceiling in ecstasy.

“We should fuck like that all the time.” He says, eyes sliding closed with exhaustion. Between last night’s fight, today’s work, and this afternoon’s physical activity – he’s spent. “God, I love you.”

“Love you too, Eij.” You coo, you feel yourself slipping towards sleep.

“Don’t fall asleep just yet.” You feel the couch cushions rise up around you as Eijiro gets up and onto his feet. “We gotta clean you up first.”

You hear the floorboards creak as he pads his way back to your tiny bathroom. Distantly, you hear him turn the faucets of your tub as he starts to draw a bath. You let yourself drift off for a few moments, content with your lot in life. You’ve got the best boyfriend in the world, and now you get to have his child. What could be better? You doze.

You startle awake when you feel Eijiro lift you off the couch and into his arms. You rest your head against his bare chest and hear his heartbeat against the shell of your ear. The steady rhythm is music to your ears, and you snuggle into him as much as you can. You hear him chuckle as he carries you off towards the bathroom.

“Babe…I think that maybe we should think about telling the press about us. What with the baby and all…I want to keep you safe, but I don’t want people to think that I just knocked you up with a secret love child or something. Not very manly.” He pauses, sucking in a breath. “And as for the safety part…maybe I can train you up a bit, show you ways to use your quirk to defend yourself. I can’t always be around to protect you, but you’re strong. And I know you’re capable of protecting yourself.”

These words jolt you fully awake. “You mean that, Eijiro?” Then you add teasingly: “Being my Baby Daddy changed your mind?” Eijiro chuckles at this new title in a way that tells you he’s elated to be your “baby daddy.”

“Of course I mean it, babe. If anyone can figure all of this shit out, it’s the two of us. Ya know?”

“Yeah, I know.” You say, your brain whirring to process all that he’s said. “But I don’t mind keeping our private life private. This baby. This family – it’s ours, and no one else’s. Fuck what the public thinks.”

“I guess we have a lot to talk about.”  He says, finally coming to a stop in the steamy bathroom. “But we don’t need to figure it all out right this moment.”

You look up at his strong, handsome face and bring a hand up to trace his jawline.

“You’re so beautiful, Eij.” He blushes at the compliment, flustered. You know he loves being called things like “manly” and “handsome,” but he has a weak spot for softer compliments as well. Your himbo boyfriend loves to be admired softly, loves your gentle praise. “You’re so sweet and good to me.”

“Heh, does this mean that you’re gonna change your phone background back to a pic of me instead of John Wick?” Eijiro leans down to plant a kiss on your temple.

You stifle a laugh. “Yeah, I guess. If it would make ya happy.”

“It would.” He kisses you again. “You ready for a bath, sweetheart? I can do most of the work if you’re too tired.” You nod at him, eyes half lidded. You’re so damn sleepy. You feel like you just had a whole body workout and then some.

Slowly, sweetly, Eijiro lowers you into the bathtub. He moves slowly, letting you get used to the water as you sink down into it. The temperature is perfect – not too cool, not too scathingly hot. Eijiro knows you so well, down to your perfect water temperature. Your bum hits the bottom of the tub and you sit up, surprised at the mountains of bubbles towering around your head.

“I got a little carried away with the bubble bath mix.” He says, cupping some of the frothy suds in his hands and blowing them across the bathroom. You look at him lovingly – he’s going to make such a good dad.

You look up at him, grinning. You blow some bubbles in his direction before gesturing for him to join you.

“Get in here, Eij. There’s plenty of room for a family of three.”

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Ok so this is more of a headcanon/scenario request:

Which Turtle is likely to fuck reader so hard the bed breaks under them? (In detail, if possible 😏)

Would They Break The Bed? (18+)

2007!Turtles x reader

A/N: Tbh, they are mutants. If they wanted to break the bed, they would do it😂 Anyway, I gave the wheel a spin, and it decided on 2007 TMNT, so I hope you’ll enjoy💚

All characters are aged up.

Warnings: Furniture and things breaking during sex, and sex lol.

Leonardo:

Leo is the least likely to break the bed while fucking you. That does not mean that he doesn’t go hard and rough, because damn, he does. It simply is because Leo is very aware of how the bed is going, while he is fucking you into the maddress.

He could be in the middle of turning your world upside down, fucking you so good that you were a moaning and whimpering mess, unable to formulate words, yet he would still notice if the bed’s creaking started to sound a little different under the two of you.

If the bed was about to break, Leo would be quick to notice, and before you would be able to realize anything was happening, Leo would already have you in a different position on a different part of the bed, relieving some of the tension on the bed frame.

But that did not mean in any way that he would slow down, instead wrapping a hand around your neck in whatever position you now found yourself in, telling you how good you were doing for him, continuing to go as hard and fast as before.

It wouldn’t stop the bed from creaking though, and Leo did find some kind of satisfaction in hearing how close the two of you were to breaking the furniture.

Raphael:

Raph is the most likely one to break the bed during sex. Actually, he has already done it a few times. He has broken his bed twice and yours once, costing you a trip to IKEA for a new bed, and a long complaint from your downstairs neighbour.

It was in the middle of the night when Raph had crawled through your window, wasting little time before the two of you were getting busy on your bed, with Raph going to absolute town on you. Your knees pressed to your chest in a mating press, with Raph pounding relentlessly into you, groaning in your ear, telling you how good you felt around him.

The bed was creaking violently, moving back and forth with each of Raph’s thrusts into you. Both of you could hear it, and after having broken Raph’s bed twice, you knew the sound of a bed falling apart. But with how good the two of you were feeling, neither of you cared, too deeply invested in your pleasure.

Suddenly there was a loud crack, followed by a bang. You screamed as the frame of the bed fell to the floor with a loud bang, followed by your neighbor screaming downstairs. But did Raph care? No. Not even a broken bed could stop him from continuing fucking you sensles.

Donatello:

Donnie breaking the bed during sex? Not very likely, but also not impossible. Sure he would make it creak like hell underneath you, making it very obvious what you were doing, even if you somehow managed to keep your sounds quiet.

It was actually quite a problem how noisy Donnie had made yours and his bed. You couldn’t even get ready to sleep him your own bed, without it creaking after the attack Donnie had caused it while fucking your brains out.

But if your bed was creaking badly, then Donnie’s bed was a screaming nightmare. It was loud, moving back and forth with each of Donnie’s thrusts into you, even banging against the wall at full force. But that didn’t do too much to dampen you and Donnie’s mood. Actually, very little could dampen your lustful mood when you were together. But it surely killed the mood for Donnie’s brothers who had to listen to it when they were in their own room.

The loud creaking and banging against the wall was enough to keep all three awake at night. It did muffle out the sounds of you and Donnie’s moans and groans, but the unmistakable sounds of furniture and walls gave you away. And yes, they had yelled at Donnie to get a new bed and move it away from the wall.

Michelangelo:

Well, you, Mikey and furniture had a complicated history to put it lightly. You may not have fully broken a bed together, but you did cause one of the legs on your bed to break beneath you once, where Mikey decided it would be fun to have you bouncing on him at the corner of your bed. Upsi.

One thing was the amount of times the two of you had accidentally knocked things onto the ground while going at it (which happened quite often. Many cups, glasses and lamps have been broken after falling from your nightstands), but nothing could compare to the time you broke not just a couch, but a coffee table as well during the same session.

You and Mikey had the lair to yourselves, so of course you decided to have sex on the couch. And it was there, in the middle of a rough and hot doggy, that the springs under you collapsed, causing the two of you to fall halfway through the couch.

But with you and Mikey being the horny fools that you were, you just moved from the couch to the coffee table. It was here, while you were laying with your back on the table, with Mikey thrusting between your legs, that two legs on the table broke, causing you to slide down onto the ground. And that was how you and Mikey ended up fucking on the floor in the middle of the lair.

[clarity2electricboogaloo]

The outsiders as things my friends & family (and me) have said/done:

Soda accidentally adding a shit ton of salt to rice while he’s cooking

———

*a mosquito flying around in the kitchen*

Soda: thats my best friend, his name is Leroy

Darry: well I’m gonna fucking kill Leroy

———

Pony: what’s exercise

Cherry: exorcism!

Pony: yayy!

———

Johnny: is humans edible

Pony: yes. Anything is edible—

Dallas: no. Well only the British.

Pony: ……..anything is edible if you try hard enough

———

Pony sticking a sticker from an apple onto Darry’s back and him barely noticing it like 8 hours later

———

Dallas: fuck off

Two bit: fuck you!

Johnny: you’re gonna fuck him???

———

Soda: why you changing with the door OPENNN??

Pony: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CLOSE IT—

Soda: GOBLINNN

———

Younger soda: *spits out tooth*

Younger pony: wHAT 😨😨

Younger soda: BAHAHHAAH

Younger pony: *starts laughing so hard he starts coughing*

Younger soda: I TOLD YOU SWISHING WATER HELPS ME GET A TOOTH OUT

———

Darry: mY LORD IM GONNA KILL SANTA

—

Darry: I HOPE SANTA KILLS YOU TOO

———

Cherry: All I’ve ever wanted-

Marcia: All I want for Christmas is you

Cherry: …

Cherry: All I’ve ever wanted is some big shorts-

Bev: All I want is love that lasts

Cherry: -like down to here *gestures to knees*

———

Two bit: who you talking to?!

Pony: discord-

Two bit: FRESHAVOCADO

———

Johnny: guys I don’t like Taylor swift

Cherry: and Taylor swift doesn’t like you

———

Darry: I threatened to throw my little brother over the border today which was fun

(I hc the Curtis brothers as Mexican)

———

Dally: hah short

Pony: I will bite ur ankles and steal your kneecaps

———

*two bit pointing out sign that says “topping is harmful to trees*

Dallas: good thing I’m a bottom!

———

Darry: both of u left me w a kid on my own

The Curtis parents: mb gang 😔😔

(Ignore the fact there’s two kids)

———

Soda in June: I forgot I got you this

Pony, who is not out to anyone yet: lol what?

Soda: it’s a rainbow ikea bag :DD

———

Johnny right, pony left

———

Darry: why the hell is everything in spanish?

Pony: ¿tú no hablas español?

Darry: shut your damn mouth

(Mexican Curtis bros are real guys trust)

———

*pony going to take a shower*

Pony: no ones in here right?

Darry: ahh, just George

Pony: George Washington?

Darry: yeah, his ghost

———

*darry burns himself*

Darry: MOTHER FUCK- OW

Soda: did you call me?

———

Pony right, two bit left

———

Soda right, pony left

———

Pony screenshotting all the gay translations in his Duolingo lessons

That’s all. These take a while to store up jeez

[carriagelamp]

My favourite books from 2024! Another really strong year of books for me -- every year will have some stinkers and a bunch of middling reads, but the highs of this year were really high so I'm pretty content

As always, I give more detailed descriptions and opinions of the books in my month reviews, but here's a quick breakdown for anyone who's interested:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

A non-fiction book that looks at how childhood has been “rewired”, focusing specifically on the increase of overprotective parenting, increase of tablet/social media usage, and decrease of unstructured, independent play. It was a fascinating read that really looked at how children need to be given lots of opportunities to play, take risks, and make mistakes in order to learn and grow and how a loss of that might be impacting people’s mental health. As someone right on the cusp of the age bracket that’s being focused on, it felt very exposing.

Apothecary Diaries v1-2 by Natsu Hyuuga

Maomao is kidnapped and sold as a servant to the imperial palace, where she serves as a general dogsbody in the rear palace, home of the emperor’s various consorts and concubines. She’s determined to keep her head down until her contract is up… until she helps solve a mystery and catches the eye of the powerful eunech Jinshi who soon learns about her in-depth knowledge of apothecary work and anything to do with poisons. Very funny premise, Maomao hates Jinshi soooo much and he is such a simp for it. She just wants to eat poisons and be left alone and he says “no<3” to both of those

Bury Your Gays (and Straight) by Chuck Tingle

Both of these are very explicitly queer horror novels. Straight is a novella that riffs on the format of a zombie story, but with straight people becoming inexplicably violent towards queer people one day a year. Bury Your Gays is about a Hollywood screenwriter who realises his horror creations are begin to stalk him in the real world. Both are very intentionally built around social commentary on queer issues, and despite have audacious premises they completely own their camp and end up producing really well thought out, insightful stories. I can’t say I liked either as much as Camp Damascus but either is worth a read.

Console Wars by Blake J. Harris (and Blood, Sweat, and Pixels by Jason Schreier)

Console Wars is a nonfiction book I’ve meant to read for years on my brother’s recommendation and I quite enjoyed it. It explores the history of the video game console market in North America, with a focus on how Nintendo revitalized it and how Sega then swooped in to upset the monopoly it held. The book is written in a very narrative, personable style and I found myself really rooting for the various people and companies being portrayed ahahaha. A shockingly fun read. I also read Blood, Sweat, and Pixels which wasn’t quite as narratively compelling but a related read that looked at games with complex development cycles.

Defekt by Nino Cipri

Technically the sequel to Finna which I also read this year, but Defekt works as a stand-alone and is, imho, the better of the two. Both deal with a surrealist horror Ikea setting, where the sheer density and liminal-space-ness of it all allows strange wormholes to open up between these stores from different dimensions. Finna deals with actual wormhole hopping, whereas Defekt focuses in on one employee who gets assigned to a very strange overnight inventory shift.

The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish v1-2 by Xue Shan Fei Hu

Fish isekai book. Is this a good book? No. Is it a really really fun book? Yes, in spades. In this book, Li Yu wakes up in a court drama novel… but not as a character but rather as the tyrannical prince’s pet fish. He is given the task to improve the prince and is stuck figuring out how the hell to do this as a fish. This book knows exactly how ridiculous it is and leans into it. Li Yu and Prince Jing are both idiots in very unique and exciting directions. No one knows what the fuck is happening.

Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

A prequel to Every Heart a Doorway, though it works perfectly well as a standalone. Honestly I liked it more than the first. This book has deliciously gothic horror vibes, and it plays with all the tropes you would expect from gothic horror / fear of the sublime. It’s about sisters who find a strange chest that lets them descend to the sinister land of the Moors. This is where vampires rule, werewolves stalk, and mad scientist’s ply their craft. The girls end up separated on and very different trajectories as they grow and acclimatize to the brutal existence of the Moors.

Escape From Incel Island by Margaret Killjoy

Exactly what it says on the tin. Completely insane book that is very worth the read if you feel like something that is patently insane. I strongly recommend treating this as a read aloud with a friend or loved one because I read it with my brother and couldn’t stop laughing. Top notch mercenary Mankiller Jones is sent to escort a computer scientist to Incel Island to retrieve lost governmental data. There they have to survive the hoards of Nice Guys, Volcels, Betas, and every other violent inhabitant of the island if they ever want to… escape from Incel Island.

Heaven Official’s Blessing v6-8 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

I finished the main series of Heaven Official’s Blessing (without reading the extras yet), and man what an ending! I could not have asked for a more epic or satisfying conclusion! The final battle and its various stages? The character reconciliation? The villain reveal? Perfect, no notes. The series itself follows Xie Lian, a prince who has ascended to godhood twice and been cursed and cast out from Heaven just as many times, giving him the title of the Laughingstock God. The story begins with him, to everyone’s dismay, ascending a third time.

Horrorstör (and Paperbacks from Hell, My Best Friend’s Exorcism) by Grady Hendrix

This book also deals with a Strange Alternate Ikea, but is the superior book. This was one of my top reads for 2024, and it was flawless horror. It is essentially a haunted house story set in an Ikea, that manages to be both chilling, disgusting, and a shockingly insightful critique of capitalism and retail. Very worth the read. 

After reading this I also read Paperbacks from Hell (a nonfiction book that does an analysis of horror fiction from the ‘70s and ‘80s, very good read) and My Best Friend’s Exorcism (which was decent but not my favourite of Hendrix’s since possession and exorcism isn’t my favourite brand of horror. The vaguely queer undertones and ending I found interesting, and it did some cool things throughout.)

Jeeves and Wooster books by P.G. Wodehouse

I ended up listening to so many of the Jeeves and Wooster audiobooks this summer while I was travelling. There were some I really really loved and some that fell very flat for me. I think I listened to too many in a row by the end… These books are like popcorn, not deep but very fun, and follow the airheaded but good natured Bertie Wooster and his man Jeeves who unfailing swoops in to solve all the strange and inane problems the Bertie gets involved in. They tend to be funny, light-hearted, and clever in their resolution of plot problems… though some of the issues do get rather repetitive. My favourites were: The Inimitable Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, and the Code of the Woosters.

Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

Some excellent science fiction, especially for my Pacific Rim loving heart. This bordered on the cosy fantasy genre, while mixing in plenty of science, world-building and a good dash of excitement. During the Covid-19 lockdown, Jamie Gray is stuck trying to make ends meet as a food delivery driver… until he runs into an old acquaintance who suggests he might have a very different job offer for him. Jamie ends up joining this very secretive “animal rights group” and finds out just how massive, dangerous, and otherworldly these “animals” are by being risked to an entirely different dimension filled with giant, radioactive monsters.

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books by Kirsten Miller

One of my favourite books from this year! Tthis book managed to hit on very topical subjects with both tact and humour. Lula Dean has spearheaded a book banning crusade, managing to get a number of “problematic” books removed from the library and has made a show of setting up a Little Free Library in her yard full of “appropriate” books instead. When Beverly Underwood visits her mother and hears about this she’s so exasperated with it all that she quickly hatches a plan swapping out the dust jackets of some of the banned books with the ones in Lula Dean’s Little Free Library. The rest of the story is about various people in the town who borrow a book from Lula Dean’s library and how the book they got instead ends up impacting not just themselves but their town. The first story involves a penis cake. Can’t recommend it enough, starts out humour and quickly becomes something you want to rally around.

My Happy Marriage v1 by Akumi Agitogi

This was pure mindless fluff, it was honestly a delight. This is a low-fantasy, Cinderella-esque story set in the Taishō era. It focuses on Miyo Saimori who lives under the thumb of her cruel step-mother, haughty step-sister, and indifferent father. She’s resigned to being treated like a servant in her own home and ekeing out a strained existence, but her life takes a turn when she finds herself nominally engaged to the allegedly cold and cruel Kiyoka Kudou. It’s just absolutely overwhelmingly cute and I really enjoy the contrasting POVs.

A Series of Unfortunate Events and Poison for Breakfast by Lemony Snicket

I’d never finished The Series of Unfortunate Events when it was originally coming out, so I finally sat down and did that, and honestly it was well worth the wait! It was a very interesting series to read as an adult, especially all in one go, because it really let me appreciate everything that Snicket was trying to say. It was a much more clever and philosophical read than I was anticipating, and The End was fucking superb. He absolutely stuck the landing, it completely blew me away. Poison For Breakfast was also a very interesting standalone novella that felt like surrealist philosophy. I might have even enjoyed it more than the basic TSOUE.

The Poison Squad (and The Poisoner’s Handbooks) by Deborah Blum

Poison Squad is a very compelling and topical nonfiction about the formation of the American Food and Drug act. The state of unregulated food processing in the late 19th century was, in a word, nightmarish. Don’t read this book if you have a weak stomach. But it’s completely fascinating to see how one person, Dr Harvey Wiley, made it a personal mission to scientifically prove what all these mysterious food additives were doing to people and put limits to what could be sold to consumers. I liked it so much I went to read Blum’s other book, The Poisoner’s Handbook which is set during Prohibition and explores the rise of forensic medicine and again exposes how people were being poisoned by simply living their standard lives.

The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill

The real, true history of the New York City Pushcart War!! For real!!! This is a delightful underdog story that is really written in the style of a history textbook recounting the fictional Pushchart War. This war started in New York City as the roads get increasingly congested with traffic, the worst offenders being the increasingly massive and arrogant trucks. The trucking companies hatch a plan though: if they begin to push out the little pushcarts, framing them as the problem for the congestion, then how hard would it be to push out taxis next? Or buses? Or motorcars? How long until they can make the road a perfect habit for trucks and trucks alone? How can something as small and poor as a pushcart owner fight back?

Railsea (and This Census-Taker) by China Miéville

I heard Railsea described on tumblr and it sounded sufficiently insane that I had to read it for myself. This author is truly unrivaled when it comes to bizarre worldbuilding that feels both very, very grounded in reality while also being completely unexplained and impossible. Railsea is essentially a Moby Dick meets Treasure Island retelling but with trains instead of boats and giant, mutated, vicious moles instead of whales. Unhinged. Can’t recommend enough. I followed this up by reading his novella This Census-Taker which was not as much of a frolicking adventure but fucked with my brain just as much or more than Railsea did. Genuinely not sure I even know what happened in that story but I enjoyed the experience of being completely fucking baffled for some 200 pages.

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Another book to ideally not read if you have a weak stomach. This novella is very big on unrelenting body horror. This is a twisted fairytale retelling in which a cannibalistic Little Mermaid meets a plague doctor Frankenstein. Both of them are walking away from cruel past lives, along a trail that’s soaked in blood and viscera. You feel how painfuly and disgustingly human this book is, while also being so wildly separate from anything that resembles human anatomy or morality. Superb.

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System v1-4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

The last of MXTX’s three series I needed to read. It was the one I was most hesitant about, but I ended up having a really great time with it. It is simultaneously the most light-hearted and silly of the three series, while also the one that most gleefully dives into torture and sex. So you get a bit of everything with this, and as usual MXTX does a really good job of mixing the humour and series in a way that keeps things constantly interesting. The story is about Shen Yuan who dies our of pure, frothing fury after reading the shitty ending to the shitty, porny webnovel he’s been reading for hundreds of thousands of words. He dies cursing the lousy author and the lousy writing so he’s given a chance: step up and do it better! Which is easier said than done, when he finds himself waking up in the body of the series’ villain who is destined to be gruesomely tortured to death. Better get on that!

Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent by Judi Dench and Brendan O'Hea

This is the written result of a number of interviews held between Judi Dench and Brendan O’Hea and she discusses her time as a Shakespearean actress. It looks into what her time working with theatre companies was like, summarizes the plays she took part in, and delivers into some fascinating character analysis of the roles she played. An absolute treasure of a book for someone who enjoyed their Shakespeare and/or Judi Dench.

Singing Hills Cycle v1-5 by Nghi Vo

Probably my favourite series that I read this year, I can’t wait for the next book! This series follows Chih and her magical bird companion who come from the Singing Hills Monastery, an order that is devoted to keep recording tales and keeping a history of the land. Chih travels all over in these various novellas, collecting stories, memories, and histories that they come across. The first book has them entering the recently unwarded palace of the late Empress to learn about her marriage, imprisonment and rise in power. The second has them trapped by a pack of tigresses with nothing to do but frantically lure them into comparing stories. 

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

Ten year old Ada was born with a club foot and because of it has never been allowed to leave her apartment. She lives a hard life trying to care for her younger brother and suffer through the abuses of her mother. Things change though as the Second World War truly begins and London begins to evacuate children to the country. Ada is determined — she and her brother will evacuate, they will escape their mother’s house, even if it means her learning how to walk on her club foot. Even if it means facing how different life is for unwanted slum children in the country, and confronting how much she and her brother don’t know about life. This was a very touching book, it did a great job of balancing Ada’s justifiable pain and anger with an optimistic story. Queer elements are all subtext but there — they aren’t the main focus of this story.

When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

This book absolutely took my breath away, it was a next level literary experience. It’s very, very solidly magical realism, so don’t go into this expecting true fantasy, everything going on here is allegorical and a beautifully done allegory at that. This story is set during the 1950s, in a time surrounding an event known as “The Mass Dragoning” when thousands of women suddenly, spontaneously, transformed into dragons and flew away. The story follows Alex Green who was a child during this event. Her aunt transformed. Her mother didn’t. Both of these things have profound impacts on Alex as she grows up, and a woman’s role in society, a woman’s anger, her joy, her desire are all questioned and explored.

[diorsluv]

casual , part 3

“ i’ve heard so many rumors ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by mackie.samo, jackhughes, and 259,226 others

yourusername post workout glow 🙈

view all comments

vivianliu mommy

→ yourusername whaaaaaat ⁉️⁉️⁉️

→ _quinnhughes …

→ rutgermcgroarty 📸📸

→ edwards.73 wtf

→ jackhughes no absolutely not

→ luca.fantilli HUH

→ dylanduke25 WHAT

→ vivianliu stop acting like i’ve never said ts before 🙄

edwards.73 you’re really fucking hot

liked by yourusername

→ lhughes_06 FUCK NO

→ jackhughes STEP THE FUCK BACK

→ _quinnhughes hey man what the FUCK

→ vivianliu GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY GIRL

username14 ETHANS COMMENT?????!?!?!?!?!?!

markestapa pretty girl 🫣

→ yourusername that’s so unnatural stop

→ markestapa just doing what the homies do

→ lhughes_06 did the lack of my presence fuck with your heads because i explicitly told everyone to NOT mess w my sister.

→ markestapa suck it up lil bro

mackie.samo GODDAMN

→ yourusername LMFAOOOO

→ jackhughes back the hell up dude

→ _quinnhughes this is a literal fever dream

username54 rumors aint rumors anymore

username38 ethan’s practically screaming their relationship status to the world rn

colecaufield i’m not a part of this in any way but you genuinely look really good rosie

→ yourusername awwww thank you ☺️

→ jackhughes if you ever fucked around with my sister i would punch you in the face

→ colecaufield I HAVENT AND I WONT I SWEAR

→ jackhughes YEAH U BETTER NOT CUZ IM READY 🤺

sidneycrosby_87_ looking great kiddo!

→ yourusername oh my god sidney crosby.

→ lhughes_06 OH MY GOD SIDNEY CROSBY???

→ jackhughes this isn’t fair

→ vivianliu HI SIDNEY

rutgermcgroarty 🥴

→ yourusername 🤭

→ lhughes_06 i can’t tell if you’re flirting because you’re best friends or if you’re flirting to fuck

→ rutgermcgroarty whaaaaa i would never do such a thing and you know that luke (my door is open yourusername)

→ yourusername we’re flirting AS A JOKE because you’re gone now and you can’t dictate shit anymore 🙄 lhughes_06

username45 LMFAO did ethan ask everyone to say shit to cover his comment

mackie.samo i see you’re working out without me now 🤨

→ yourusername YOU LEFT ME. what was i supposed to do 😔😔

→ mackie.samo YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON

→ yourusername IM HAPPIER NOW 🤬

→ markestapa what is this 😟

adamfantilli woha

→ adamfantilli owah

→ adamfantilli woah

→ yourusername are you malfunctioning

→ adamfantilli yes (i was told to)

jackhughes did you redecorate your room??

→ yourusername yes my man helped me redecorate 🥰

→ jackhughes YOUR MAN????

→ lhughes_06 WHO THE HELL

→ yourusername guys it was a joke..

→ lhughes_06 your life is a joke

→ yourusername ?!???!????!

_quinnhughes i know who it is.

→ yourusername no u dont

→ lhughes_06 TELL ME

→ jackhughes WHO IS IT

→ trevorzegras congrats to the only hughes brother with a brain 🥳

→ jackhughes HEY

→ lhughes_06 NOT COOL TREVOR

→ rutgermcgroarty the fact that it took you this long is concerning

→ markestapa okay she ACTUALLY told you rutgermcgroarty

→ dylanduke25 fr the rest of us had to find out DIFFERENTLY

→ edwards.73 you guys are kinda slow

username55 i know someones gonna come back for this post tn…

→ username97 LMFAOOO

→ username21 STOP DONT EXPOSE HIM LIKE THAT

username38 UR SO PRETTY

username30 GIRLLLL give us the workout routine please 😞🙏

username88 body goals hello????

trevorzegras ur bed was not in that corner last time i was there

→ yourusername i redecorated we already said so 🙄

→ jackhughes since when were you in my sister’s apartment??

→ trevorzegras i was in town for a game

→ jackhughes but detroit is 45 mins away????

→ trevorzegras WE WERE THERE FOR THREE DAYS

→ yourusername jack he was helping me set up my ikea dresser 😭😭

→ vivianliu i know someone’s absolutely LIVID

dylanduke25 WOW SO PRETTY

→ yourusername THANK U DUKER

→ dylanduke25 YOU’RE WELCOME

username96 help i audibly screamed when i saw this post

yourusername

liked by markestapa, _alexturcotte, and 153,256 others

yourusername some of the guys invaded girls night at 12 in the morning and then literally kicked us out of my own room ⁉️⁉️

tagged: vivianliu, markestapa, g.brindley4, rutgermcgroarty, dylanduke25, luca.fantilli

view all comments

edwards.73 why was i not invited

→ yourusername u didn’t come idk i thought u were busy like always

→ edwards.73 but you know i would never be too busy for you

→ yourusername lmao doesnt really seem like it tho

vivianliu and they burnt our fucking cookies

→ yourusername FR almost burnt the apartment down 🙄

→ dylanduke25 THAT WASN’T EVEN US

→ vivianliu U KNOW DAMN WELL THAT WAS U AND RUT

→ rutgermcgroarty WHY ARE U BLAMING ME???

g.brindley4 oh my god i’m on the main

→ yourusername YOU’RE ON THE MAIN ‼️

username38 mark wearing sunglasses in a dark ass room 😭

dylanduke25 rut’s ass was in my face and i swear he fucking ripped ass like three times

→ yourusername HELLO WHAT??? I DONT REMEMBER THIS

→ rutgermcgroarty I LITERALLY DIDNT THO??

→ luca.fantilli i could smell that shit from the other room

→ g.brindley4 the absolute STENCH

username32 luca could not have been comfortable sleeping in that position 😭

→ username80 men are weird

username67 AHHH PINK COOKIES

luca.fantilli cuddling with the homies 🥴🥴

→ yourusername oh my god

→ markestapa 😘

→ dylanduke25 im blushing ☺️☺️

→ g.brindley4 best couple!

→ rutgermcgroarty 😝

→ vivianliu you’re all so weird

trevorzegras marky lookin kinda cute tn 🫣

→ yourusername STOP

→ markestapa yes i’ll go out with you!

mackie.samo um. i facetimed him and hes kicking, screaming and crying?!?!?

→ yourusername oops

→ mackie.samo yeah what a big fucking oops 🙄

→ vivianliu HES THE TOXIC ONE

username77 getting kicked out of your own room is crazy

username48 ethan’s definitely punching the air rn

_alexturcotte what happened to the boyfriend

→ yourusername technically he’s not my boyfriend cuz he doesn’t like labels!

→ colecaufield 😭😭

→ yourusername HIS WORDS NOT MINE

→ trevorzegras imagine what’ll happen when your brothers find out 😂

→ yourusername 1. for the love of god stop using that emoji and 2. they wont find out!

→ _quinnhughes i found out

→ yourusername besides you 😒😒

username79 ethan’s definitely regretting not putting a label on them

username92 do luke and jack never check the comments 😭😭

→ vivianliu they did but rosie gaslighted them into believing it’s not ethan and they barely pay attention to what the others say anyways

→ username60 LMAOOO

lhughes_06 WE NEVER HAD SLEEPOVERS WHEN I WAS THERE WHAT??

→ yourusername i’m the better sibling

→ vivianliu correct

→ rutgermcgroarty correct

→ edwards.73 correct

→ colecaufield correct

→ adamfantilli correct

→ trevorzegras correct

→ _alexturcotte correct

→ markestapa correct

→ luca.fantilli correct

→ mackie.samo correct

→ dylanduke25 correct

→ _quinnhughes not correct????

→ jackhughes INCORRECT TF

edwards.73 I CAN’T GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN’T INVITE ME

→ yourusername IM SORRY I GEN THOUGHT U WERE JUST BUSY AGAIN

→ markestapa there’s no way you’re still on this

→ edwards.73 inv me next time 😔

next chapter notes ) happy april fools dayyy!! hope yall got some good pranks in 😈😈 and guys HE DOESN’T DO LABELS 😓

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood

[lakesbian]

Grue approached me, “I ran out.  Got extras?” I handed him a fistful of the wrist ties.

Grue wrestled with a gang member with an injured leg, twisting the guy’s arms behind his back and then punching him in the kidney when his struggling made it too difficult to get the plastic handcuffs on.  The guy gave up the fight. “You got any plans for tomorrow?” I turned my attention away from the unconscious girl I was cuffing and looked at Grue. “Well?” he asked. “I’m planless.  No plan,” I fumbled my words.

“Want to come over to my place?  I’m supposed to have a group meeting to discuss progress and whatever for this online class I’m taking, but I’ve also got my sister’s caseworker stopping by to check out my apartment in the afternoon.  I was hoping to buy some furniture and get it put together by then, but I’m tight on time and it’ll be a hell of a lot easier with two people,” he told me, “…and that was a rambling explanation.” “I got the gist.  Yeah, I could do that.” I had seen him smile that boyish grin of his often enough that I could picture it behind his mask. “I’ll text you with the time and address?” “Alright.” He gave me a very ‘guy’ clap on the shoulder, then headed over to catch up to a guy that was trying to crawl away, a little ways down the street.

>lie about running out of wrist ties for detaining people during the gang war the team of teenagers is participating in as an excuse to come talk to taylor >ask taylor on implicit date while punching someone in the kidneys >get nervous and start rambling while trying to justify the invitation >his date idea is taylor helping him put together furniture for his IKEA showroom ass apartment so he can convince his younger sister's caseworker that he is a very normal 40yo 17yo adult man and should be given custody of her immediately >literally just punched someone in the kidneys during a gang war >she says yes >freak out from the successful invitation, respond by awkwardly clapping her on the shoulder like she's a male friend and then hustling off to detain a crawling escapee from the gang war >all of the gang war detainees had to sit there and listen to that >he still genuinely has no idea that he's romantically attracted to her and is going to friendzone her on the date by going "uh, you could be like a sister to me, i think"

brian laborn, everyone. youve gotta love him

[l1vchuu]

resentment. part three

!! warnings: slight mentions of sh, angst, slow burn, strong language.

And Simon stood there, in silence. The slight yellow rays of the rising sun filled the now empty room- well, half empty. The walls- before filled with your favorite music artists and films, your bed- once piled with your fluffy little animals from Ikea and sheets- once warm and packed with your scent. Now everything was empty and dull- just like the way he had treated you the past few months.

His mind went blank- was he hallucinating? Were you there?

He looked around again, his gaze had sharpened. Did you request to have your own room? Where the hell were you? Why didn't you tell him?

Ghost closed the door behind him, making his way to Price's office- maybe he will tell him.

As the elevator closed its' doors behind him, he strode to the Captain's door, knocking three times before entering.

"Good morning, L.T."

"Good morning, Captain."

Price looked at the sight in front of him- a tall, masked, tired man. He knew what he was going to ask him- and he knew damn well how to answer.

Simon stood there, quite hesitant to ask the thing he had been thinking of- actually, he hadn't prepared the question at all- so the silence filled the room again until Price spoke up.

"She took a break- you will have your own room for a while."

A break? Ghost thought to himself.

"How long?"

Price took a sip from his coffee.

"A month. For now."

A month? A week or two- fine- but a month?

"Is there a particular reason-"

"No reason included."

Price turned to face him.

You and Ghost made quite the pair ever since they introduced him to you. You were always his sparring partner, and so was he. He only ate food if you were around, and so did you. You only accepted a mission only if he was there, and so did he.

After years of being friends and colleagues, you two became inseparable- which meant that absolutely everyone on the team knew that something was wrong. And only one person was to blame, right?

The Captain sighed, nodding his head slightly- a habit of his.

"You don't know, do you?"

Simon's head perked up.

"Know what?"

"She fainted yesterday. She was on the bed for a long time- and she basically looked like a corpse."

Price put his mug down.

"Look, Riley. I'm not the one to get into this mess- but I'm sure the others won't tell you, so I will. The nurse wrote that she fainted out of exhaustion- but that won't explain the cuts and bruises on her body, right? Did you even notice her change in behavior?"

Simon gulped.

"No, I didn't."

"You didn't notice anything? Nothing?"

"No."

Price massaged his temples.

"Our job is to make sure that our soldiers are in good shape and health, Riley. And she is one of our best."

Simon sighed. His mind was blank. Truly. Blank.

"I know, Captain. I've been on night shifts a lot and-"

"We all know what the real reason is, Lieutenant. Drop the excuses."

Price interrupted him, his tone was stricter now.

"Again, what I was saying was- You can't keep doing this. We can't let this team break the trust we have built for years. If one person goes down, so do the others. Understand?"

"Yes, Captain."

"I don't know what happened, and it is not my place to do so. I'm saying this as a regular person- try to fix whatever the fuck is going on."

Simon stayed still and silent. His eyes looked tired, but his gaze was strong.

Price sighed again, motioning him to the door.

"This is not a good thing, son. You have a month to figure it out."

As Simon stepped to the door, Price followed behind him.

"And you better pray she won't fucking quit in the meantime."

These were the last words Price had said before Simon left the office.

-

You arrived at the airport, a place you hadn't seen in a long time. You didn't notify anybody of your arrival because you needed to be alone- you wanted to be alone.

You took a ride to your college apartment, glad that it is still for rent. As the taxi passed through the streets, the trees danced to the wind and the sunlight flew through the air. It was about 8 am and the shops were just opening their doors to the public.

The taxi stopped in front of the apartment complex. You paid the driver and got your things to your old apartment without any worries.

You finally had time- time to think everything through and manage your feelings, time to heal.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, it was the first time you paid any attention to your appearance and you barely recognized it. Your eyes were swollen and empty, your skin was pale and dry, your arms were scratched up- a habit you had when you felt nervous, and your thighs had bandaids.

You had forgotten about it- you hoped you never remembered it. A few weeks ago you almost began an argument with Ghost, but it just ended up with you staying alone in the bathroom, your tactical knife in your hands, and a whole lot of tears and physical pain. You never resolved problems this way, never. Self-inflicted wounds are something you hadn't done to yourself ever since high- school. So you thought about it- Why did I react like that?

You cleaned and stitched up your wounds after you had showered- your skin was hot and soft from the boiling water. It was quite frankly the first time you had taken such a long shower- but it helped you calm down.

Laid in your bed, bags scattered all over the place, you looked at the ceiling and thought about the upcoming month. What were you going to do? Well, you had money from your last paycheck- so you didn't need to worry about that, you need to do something to get you out of your mind, just like the old high school times. What did you do in order to forget about everything? Oh yeah, you joined the military.

There were many other things you could do- maybe go to see a therapist. No, not a good idea. Why? What will I say to them, I don't know what I'm feeling. We'll figure that out.

Jokes aside, you genuinely didn't know how you felt. What was it that bothered you? Why did you feel like that? Absolutely. no. fucking idea.

You hated everything around you, about you, including you. You felt like crawling out of your skin and existing without being perceived as a living person. You felt like a piece of flesh, slowly rotting into the ground, hoping for the bugs to come and consume you whole. You wish to be buried deep into the earth's core, maybe the warmth will be enough to comfort you. You prayed that one day people would walk through you as if you never existed. You prayed that one day people would say your name and not have you in their minds. You didn't want to exist.

But on the other hand, you wanted people to think about you and notice you. You wanted to be taken care of, to be perceived as a human with feelings. You wanted to be held and have sweet things whispered into your ear. You wanted people to smile as you passed by, people to remember little details about you. You wanted people to think about you when you weren't around.

Everything was so confusing to you at the moment. You stared at your empty phone, looking at all of the names of people who you used to talk to before. You weren't allowed any contact with your teammates if you were away- no calls, no messages, no emails. The only way they could possibly make any contact with you is through letters. Will someone write to me? you thought to yourself. Yeah, you said to Price that you didn't want him to notify anyone of your leave- but surely someone would've noticed by now, right? Will someone notice my absence?

But you were away. You were away from the base, away from all of the oils and gunpowder, away from the ink and the papers, away from the tablets and computers, away from the stingy coffee and oatmeal, away from the ripstop and the uniforms, away from the steel and guns. Away from everything.

The first thing that you could try to fix was your eating habits. You barely ate a meal a day for a month and your body was begging for it. But it wasn't going to be easy, of course. You still couldn't bring yourself to have any type of appetite. You still felt the salty taste of your tears on your tongue, and you could feel shivers down your spine. Maybe you could go grocery shopping? Maybe that could help.

You lazily stepped out of your bed, put on casual clothes, and headed out the door with nothing in mind- you'll figure it out.

-

It was a normal day at the base. Everyone was doing their daily routines and their assigned work, training, or planning any new missions. It was the quiet season- there wasn't anything crazy going on, which meant that the atmosphere was lighter than usual. It was everybody's favorite time of the year, except Christmas or Halloween.

Simon was sitting in his shared office, his desk being next to Kyle's. It wasn't a normal day for him though, his mind wandered all around you.

Ghost has suffered through most of his life, given the fact that all of his family was murdered because of him, and he has been imprisoned and tortured by a Mexican cartel. In papers, he is often marked as dead and he constantly wears a mask in order to protect his identity and uses it to cope with his traumas. He often has nightmares and hallucinations, which you used to help him with- would it be staying all night talking or maybe distracting yourselves with movies. He has a long history of disorders, which was the reason why you and he got so close. You coped together, you brought comfort to each other. He was the first person on the team that you got comfortable enough with to share your past, and so did he. It wasn't pity that brought you guys together- it was genuine coping and the need to get better, you healed together.

And there he sat, knowing the fact that he had possibly ruined all the progress you had made.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.☆.｡.:

Heya! This part was short, for which I apologize- it's supposed to be more of a 'filler', in order to get the emotions flowing in. But don't worry, part 4 will come shortly after, with more action and sadness! (just kidding, or..?) If you liked this part, make sure to like or reblog <: See you next time, lovelies <33

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

- Vox is literally the only one who’s at all productive. Alastor could be if he wanted to, but he doesn’t want to (usually. Sometimes he does like to help Rosie out), and Valentino can’t read.

- Sometimes Zestial gets sent out/goes of his own accord to help them. This doesn’t really make them more effective as a) Alastor and Vox are still fighting and he has no intention of getting between them, b) he really can’t read the instructions. They’re all written in modern shorthand that basically reads like hieroglyphics to him (really, he can read those better) and c) Valentino still can’t read.

“Okay, pass me parts 3A and 3C.”

*frustrated grumbling* “Why does each piece have subsections sorted in its own cypher? Why not simply number them and be done with it?”

“I don’t know, okay? Just pass me them.”

“I know not which thou means. Thou has the key to our troubles in thy hands.”

“UGH. Okay, Val, toss me that big tool you have there.”

“Well, if you insist~”

“Eugh. Do us all a favor and keep in your pants.”

“I’ll keep it in your pants.”

“Was that flirtatious or an insult? Either way it fell flat, but I’d like to know the difference.”

“You little-“

- Rosie and Carmilla have learned the difference between the various noises of chaos and can easily tell which should be considered alarming. The younger overlords (Zeezi and Velvette) have not and it still freaks them out.

*distant crashing*

“Holy shit, what was that?”

“Relax, honey, they’re fine. They just dropped the box.”

*shrieking*

“Uh, are you sure-“

“He’s fine. He’s always yelling about something. You only have to worry if he goes quiet.”

“Well, when you put it that way, you make him sound like a toddler.”

“Good.”

*shouted curses*

“Oye! We JUST talked about this! NO VIOLENCE ON MY WHITE RUGS.”

*brief silence, cut off by horrible, guttural screaming*

“…darling, did you just drop that screw you’ve been looking for for the past half hour?”

Very important headcanon that Charks and I have decided we need to share:

There is IKEA in Hell. All furniture (aside from custom-made stuff) in Hell comes from IKEA. And whenever Vox, Valentino, or Alastor act up during meetings, Rosie puts them in assembly time-out.

[nolita-fairytale]

make my heart surrender | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter six: monday

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, angst, use of she/her pronouns, friends to lovers, references to sex, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 3.4k

summary: it's your last full day in chicago and you and carmy talk about the future of your relationship.

a/n: wow can you believe we're in the home stretch? i have one more chapter for all of you that are reading about our loveable kitchen idiots, but i'm definitely not done with these two.

read: part five | masterlist

Monday 

“What’re you doing?” he asks, his morning voice gruff with sleep, his comment making you laugh. 

“You haven’t even opened your eyes. You don’t know if I’m doing shit,” you reply. 

“Yes, I do. I can feel you,” he shoots back, peeking one eye open. 

You’re tracing your fingertips along his little tattoos that run along his right arm, propped up on your side: the angels below his elbow, the little fish on the inside of his forearm, the snail right above his wrist, then finally, his chef’s knife-hand tattoo on the back of his hand.

“Stop, ‘s creepy,” Carmy groans, throwing one of his hands over his eyes. 

“What?”

“You’re watching me sleep,” he grumbles, earning a laugh from you. 

It’s the third morning in a row that you’ve woken up together, and as the morning light floods into his bedroom once again, he doesn’t have the heart to ask you to close the curtains. He can’t bear the idea of you getting out of bed and leaving his side. He makes a mental note to close the damn curtains better next time. 

You giggle at his comment, beginning to to leave soft kisses up his arm, around his shoulder, across his chest, until he’s pulling you on top of him, a sleepy smile on his face. 

He could get fuckin’ used to this.

“It’s not creepy,” you protest softly, in between kisses.

Instead of coming up with a smartass reply, all he says is:

“Morning.”

“Morning,” you answer, leaning down to kiss him. 

You snuggle into him your legs wrapping around his hip as you rest your head on one side of his chest, curled up to his side. 

“What do you want to do today?” he asks, rubbing his eyes, accepting that he’s going to have to get up eventually.

“Hmm.. well, you promised me a true Chicago date,” you prompt him. 

“I did.” 

You reach over, intertwining your fingers with his opposite hand this time, as you bring it up to your lips to kiss each letter tattooed on his knuckles: S, O, U. 

Sense of urgency.

“This is new,” he says, holding your hand up to the light, taking a look at your most recent tattoo. It starts at your wrist and extends all the way down your forearm, stopping just underneath the crease of your elbow. 

“Yeah, you don’t get to be the only cool one with ink,” you hit back, playfully. “I also have a new little one on my rib cage.”

“Yeah, I-, I noticed that,” he says, his lips curling into a smirk, knowing that he’s only seen it because he’s seen you naked. 

“Oh you did, huh?”

“Yeah.”

He waits a beat before returning to the topic at hand. He turns his head towards you, your face only inches away from his now.

“Thought we could take a walking dumpling tour of Chinatown. You know… like we used to do,” he suggests.

Memories of your adventures up and down Mott St. and Bowery come flooding back to you and you can’t help but grin. You’re honestly glad he remembers. 

“Sounds incredible.”

You wait a beat as the sobering reality of the day – your last day in Chicago – hits you. 

“We should get up and shower,” you sigh, reluctantly.

If you weren’t such an overthinker, you’d stay in Chicago forever. Pay rent to Pete and Sugar on your airbnb till you could find a place. If this were a movie, or a fantasy, you wouldn’t even think twice. Hell, you wouldn’t even go back for your stuff in New York. As long as you could stay here, in this bed with this beautiful man, who needed a fuckin’ IKEA dresser?

But your brain is quickly flooded with questions, logistics, ‘what ifs’ that hold you back from your desire to be impulsive. You’re also freaking out. This feels so good – too good – it’s near terrifying. You can feel your self-saboteur creeping up within you, but you’re quick to squash that little voice in your head that takes your doubts too far. 

“Yeah, we should,” he agrees. “You go ahead. I just wanna lay here for a second.”

“Meet me in there?” you ask, as you sit up for a quick peck on the lips. 

He nods in response as you begin to move. 

You groan as you force yourself up and out of bed, wearing only an old Original Beef Chicagoland t-shirt. You’d found it in the laundry basket with a bunch of other clean, yet unfolded clothes he hadn’t put away. The cold air hits your skin as you hiss at the impact. Carmy watches your every move, still convinced this is all a dream. You know exactly what you’re doing as you strip the t-shirt off, revealing your bare body underneath, tossing it on the floor and making your way to the bathroom. 

“But don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

Carmy hears the sound of the water running and he shakes his head. You’re a piece of work – he’ll give you that. He sits up, wondering how any of this could be real.

*

You spend the rest of the day exploring Chicago and Carmy realizes it’s been quite some time since he explored the city he grew up in. So much has changed…. You’d taken a twenty five minute bus ride from River North down to Chinatown, and had allowed yourself just to roam. You had missed these grand adventures with him: from stops for pork dumplings, to arguing over who gets to pay the bill, to returning back to a community botanical garden you’d passed earlier. 

“Wait. You’re not kidding?!” you exclaim at the outrageous statement he’s just made. “Noooo, no, no, no.Take it back!”

“Nope. No! I’m not taking it back,” he protests, stubbornly.

“Okay, don’t get me wrong,” you clarify. “Because the pork buns were good. But you can’t possibly think that there’s a better pork bun than… what was it called?”

“You can’t even remember the name,” Carmy scoffs, playfully. “How can it be that good then?”

“Oh fuck off. It was the place we liked, right next to that uh, that pharmacy with the green awning. Oh! And the menu was always printed on neon green paper taped in the window – no English, just pictures. You don’t remember?” you ask, raising an eyebrow at him. 

He certainly remembers, but he’s enjoying giving you a hard time. 

“I’m just saying. I think they might be the best pork buns in the country.”

He shakes his head, sighing out your name. 

“I don’t know. I think the entire population of San Francisco would take offense to that statement,” he challenges you.

“Well, we’re not talking about San Francisco, Carmen,” you point out, using his full name just to one up him. 

“Hey uh. I don’t know if you noticed but… San Francisco is actually a part of this country,” he pushes back, being a smartass. 

“Oh it is?” you reply back, sarcastically. “I had no idea. Thank you so much for enlightening me.”

The banter between the two of you is your favorite kind of foreplay. You’ve missed this.

He pauses, redirecting his attention to Chicago. 

“So what?” he teases. “You're gonna come into my city and insult it like that? Okay. I see how it is.”

He holds the cigarette that’s previously been in between his index finger and middle finger back into his mouth now. You watch as it sits between his lips, deciding to push his buttons a little further. 

“Jesus Christ,” you shake your head, playfully scoffing. “I can’t believe you’re smoking in a freakin’ community garden, Carmen.”

“What? We’re outside. I didn’t see a no-smoking sign when we came in. Shit…” he groans, somehow managing to keep the cigarette in between his lips. 

“You gonna put it out?” you shoot back. 

“No.”

“Well, fine. Then give me some,” you say, reaching for it. 

“I thought you were trying to quit,” Carmy’s quick to rebut you, grabbing it out of his mouth and holding it above your head. He’s not that much taller than you, but you can tell he’s having a little too much fun with this game of keepaway. 

“Carmy!” you exclaim with a laugh, pulling his arm down.

“No! You said you were trying to quit.”

“I never said that!” “Yes you did. You looked at me and you said, ‘I’m trying to cut back, Car.’”

“That doesn’t mean-. That’s not the same!”

“Yes, it is.”

“No it’s-, fuck you.”

He laughs, shaking his head before turning to you, almost as a challenge. He raises his eyebrows before asking:

“You really want to spend our last full day together arguing?”

“Well, when we’re so good at it…” you banter back, flirtatiously. 

Finally… finally, he leans in to kiss you. You can taste the cigarette on his breath that you’d fought him so hard for. The both of you stop in the middle of the walkway, earning a few looks from a few people passing by. Carmy’s tries to fight the surprise he’s feeling – still trying to adjust to the fact that someone, let alone you, would want to kiss him in broad daylight.

You laugh, pulling away from the kiss before grabbing his arm as the two of you continue your walk along the carved out pathway. 

He doesn’t want this to end. 

He never wants this to end. 

But his own words echo in his head – about this being your last day with him. Your week in Chicago is coming to an end, sending panic all throughout his body if he thinks about it for too long. He knows that all he has to do is say something – ask you to stay – and he’s not sure what he’s fucking waiting for. The words have built up within him, gotten stuck in his throat, and he’s swallowed them, scared absolutely shitless. 

He can hear Mikey’s voice in his head as the words are on the tip of his tongue. 

Let it rip. 

Don’t be a fuckin’ idiot. You can’t let her go!

 Let it rip, Carm.

With your fingers so gently intertwined between his, he can feel his hand getting clammy as he contemplates what he’s about to say. 

“I don’t want this to be the end,” he blurts out, catching you off guard. 

You stop. You’re not sure why you’re so surprised. You’ve been thinking about it too, afterall, but you half expected that you’d have to be the one to bring this up. 

“I don’t want this to be the end either,” you confess, your voice soft as you lose yourself in the way he’s looking at you right now. 

He’s relieved, almost surprised. 

“You don’t?”

You shake your head, chuckling at his reaction. 

“No, of course not! This is-, these past few days have been….”

“Yeah,” he agrees, a small smile threatening the corners of his lips. 

“Yeah.”

You exchange glances, and how much you care for each other is evident in each others’ eyes.

“It’s just that-. Well. Do you-, do you want to… sit?” you suggest, gesturing towards one of the park benches. 

He’s not sure why, but his stomach drops as he anticipates what you’re about to say. You seem serious… uncertain… even after what you both just said. 

“Yeah, of… ‘course,” he stammers, following you as you lead him towards a park bench. 

You take a seat, sitting side by side as you stare at the ground. His eyes are on you and he wonders why you’re avoiding his gaze. He rubs his palms together, feeling just how clammy they’ve gotten. He’s so fucking nervous he feels like he could jump out of his skin.

“I think. Well, I think that maybe we-. Well, I won’t speak for you but, I think maybe I’ve felt this way for you for a long time,” you begin, finally meeting his gaze with yours. 

It’s just, if you look at him for too long, you may not say what you need to say. 

“I think maybe… we were ignoring a lot of things. You know? Back in New York,” you continue, trying your best to articulate where your head's at. 

“I don’t-, I really thought for a while we could just be friends. And I was okay with that. But then we slept together… and when you left New York, I guess I just realized how much of a space in my life you were filling for me… you know… the kind of space…” you pause, suddenly afraid to say the word, as if it’s going to send him running for the hills. 

“... the kind of space a boyfriend would fill up, you know?”

Boyfriend. 

Right. 

“Woah,” Carmy sounds, hearing it out loud for the first time. 

“Yeah. It feels just as weird to say.”

And suddenly, you feel shy.

You both take a beat. Carmy’s still hung up on the whole ‘boyfriend’ part, and you’re trying to figure out how best to proceed.

“I mean, am I just fucking crazy to think that-, I don’t know. That after one week of… and it’s only been a couple of days, of us, you know… doing this,” you stammer through.

“No, you’re not-, it’s not crazy for thinking that-,” he starts, before stopping again. 

He wants you to say it: that you’ll stay. God, does he want you to say it. 

And he also knows that he hasn’t asked you yet. Hell, he’s still reeling from you bringing up the word ‘boyfriend.’ It’s not like you can read his mind – know that he wants nothing more than to be your boyfriend. 

“I want to make this clear first. I’m just-, I really want to be with you,” you say, speaking plainly enough, leaving no room for a misunderstanding. “But I don’t want to be presumptuous that you also-.”

“No I-.”

The words feel like boulders, falling out of his mouth. 

“I want… that too.”

Let it rip, buddy. 

Carmy’s opening his mouth to say something else, but you’ve beat him to the punch as you continue with,

“But… right now, we live in different cities and… I know long distance can be a lot of work.”

Were you having second thoughts?

“This is all just happening so fast and it’s a lot of change-. Dating is one thing but moving is a whole other thing for me to wrap my head around. It would be a lot of change for me if I-,” you try to explain. You let out a laugh before allowing yourself to be vulnerable – hoping it wouldn’t discourage him at all.

“I’m just kind of freaking out here, Car,” you confess. “And I also am kinda wondering where your head’s at too.”

And it feels like a weight’s been lifted off of the both of you. He laughs in relief along with you, shaking his head. 

“Thank god,” he sighs, and it’s liberating. 

“You too?”

“Yeah I-. Fuck yeah I’m freaking out,” Carmy reassures you, glad that you’re both on the same page. 

You both exchange a look, sharing a hopeless laugh, and in that moment, neither of you need words to understand how you feel about each other. You’re both head over fuckin’ heels for each other. You reach over, giving his hand a squeeze, satisfied with that as an answer. 

You settle into a comfortable silence with each other, watching the power walkers, the parents pushing their kids in strollers, the jogger running with their dog. While you’re glad you’ve gotten that out of the way, Carmy still has yet to tell you where he’s at. He repeats the words he’s had in his head, over and over again. 

He doesn’t want to scare you, but they’re eating at him, like if he doesn’t let it out, he’ll implode. 

You listening to me, Bear? 

Can you hear me?

C’mon man. Let it rip. 

“You could stay. If you wanted to. Just so you know,” Carmy blurts out, grabbing your attention. 

Okay. Okay. Try not to fucking panic, you remind yourself. 

Now that he’s said the words out loud… now that they exist between the two of you – that they could be a reality. 

While you’d love nothing more than to say yes, you’re terrified, and all the change is terrifying. Like what if you said no and he decided to call the whole thing off? Even though you’re screaming internally, you try to approach it from a logical perspective. 

“How-, how would that work?” you ask, teetering the line between hesitation and curiosity. 

He shrugs, feeling incredibly naked all over again, “You heard everyone the other day. I don’t think anyone would… hate you stickin’ around.”

“And Marcus. He’s learned so much from you in just a week. You guys could… I don’t know… he can’t do it all by himself. We’re gonna have to hire someone else to help out, anyways….” 

“Well, it’s Marcus’ domain. I wouldn’t want to intrude,” you reply. 

“No, I know! I-, well I’d have to talk to him first but I’m sure he’d be… more than happy to hear that you’d be-.”

You’re quiet as you let his words land, your thoughts running a mile a minute. 

“I’m not saying that… I haven’t made a decision yet,” you preface, wanting to be as clear as day here. “But if I decided to… you know. Well… I’d have to get my own apartment.”

“‘Course, yeah, of- of course,” he says, rushing to eliminate any thought that he’d have that expectation. 

As he hurries to squash the idea, he wonders why he feels a small pang of disappointment, like a pit in his stomach. It’s not like he expected that you’d just move in together, but he’s gotten used to waking up to you the last few days. 

You take another beat, letting yourself work through the thoughts you're having. 

“It’d be a lot of change, Carm. And I think I just need a second to like, wrap my fuckin’ head around it. Can I think about it?” you finally ask, hopeful that he’ll understand. 

It’s not him at all. You just need a fucking minute to catch up – to wrap your head around this relationship, and the possibility of moving here.

Because what if you move your whole life to Chicago for him, and it didn’t work out? You’d be crushed. 

Carmy is quiet, still reeling from the fact that he blurted out those words. 

“I’m-, I'm gonna have to go back to New York anyways. Tie up some loose ends. Tell the restaurant I’m not coming back. I got shit in storage too, and a lease I gotta figure out what to do with…”

“Yeah,” he finally says with a curt nod. 

There’s a part of him screaming at him to burn it all down. If he sabotages it now, it’ll save him the anxiety and the grief of waiting for your response… of the possibility that you could say ‘no’ and decide not to come back. And there’s another part of him that doesn’t want to let you go back to New York at all because what if you do say no? What if you never come back? What if, after this, you change your mind and he never sees you again? 

He snaps himself out of his doomsday ‘what if’ scenario and says, gaining a little more confidence, “No, yeah. Take-, take all the time you need.”

You’ve always been this way anyways. It’s just your M.O. You’ve always needed to think through things before making a decision, he reminds himself.

“Thank you for understanding, Carm.”

“I-,” you open your mouth to say something else, but nothing comes out because all you have left to say is:

I love you. 

But it feels too soon – even if you’ve felt this way about him for a long time. 

“I mean it,” he reinforces, even if he is faking some of his confidence. “You don’t have to thank me. Take all the time you need.”

You listen, choosing to be optimistic about the whole situation, like you know that you’re going to figure it out together.

“Besides, New York’s not so far away,” you offer up, taking a lighter tone this time. “And.. we both have phones. We can call each other, text… have phone sex.” 

He laughs. 

“We’re gonna figure it out. If you want to, at least,” you offer up, pausing once more. “You know. With me?”

He nods, shooting you his best reassuring look. 

He really does. 

He really would like nothing more than to figure it out with you.

read: part seven (epilogue)

taglist: @lazypeachsoul @bookwormvoyageuse @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha

[cher-rei]

afterglow– pt 9 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, fluff, should definitely add the slowburn tag

[w.c: 6.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

notes: buckle up, because this one is one hell of a ride

"does this christmas tree look weird?"

clara looked up at you from the shopping cart, her nose scrunched at the fact that you were standing next to the tree in all sorts of positions— your excuse being that it needed to match your aesthetic as well as your new apartment's.

yes, the time for the big move has finally arrived 2 weeks before christmas. all your boxes had been moved over through the course of you packing them, and today was the day that you and clara got to work.

"I think you look weird," she shot back, earning a fake laugh that made her smile but you took her advice and carried on looking until you opted for the original.

the two of you continued to roam around ikea like two lost puppies while vlogging the entire experience for your youtube channel. truth be told, it was the most relaxing experience that you'd both had in weeks.

not only was the move taking up more time than you'd originally thought, but the number of press conferences, sponsor shoots, and preparation for the team's channel content was burying you alive. you weren't complaining obviously because this was your job.

but sleep had become a foreign concept once more.

"jamie, we have an interview with virgil set up for wednesday, we need you on that."

"are all the reporters in the press conference room? make sure that harvey doesn't say anything too bad this time around please. we can't have a repeat of last time."

"are the graphics for sunday's match ready?"

"ms carter we're set to film in the next 20 minutes, are you miced up?"

"jamie!" you were snapped back by clara yelling your name, loud enough that a few heads turned to look your way. you perked up with a hum and she nudged you on with a skeptical look.

she continued to push the shopping cart, with you walking beside her. "sorry my mind is flooding with--"

"--thoughts of a certain someone?" she eagerly interjected but you were quick to shut her down with a disapproving look.

you shook your head. "work clara. I'm thinking about work."

your friend wasn't too pleased with your answer though and brushed it off with a sceptical hum but you didn't bother to try and defend yourself. there was no reason to anyway, you'd be fighting an invisible war.

your little ikea trip came to an end after another hour, and you were left with 3 shopping carts and the question of how you were going to fit all this in your car. you both stared blankly at all the shopping bags on the floor, not a thought behind your eyes.

"why don't we just come back for the bags later?"

clara turned to look at you, a hiccup in her voice as she agreed with you until it hit her. "wait are we allowed to do that? what if they steal our things?"

the normal thing to do in this situation would be to call for help, perhaps your dad for some extra support but nope. not here and not when you two were together. all basic logic flew out the window the second you stepped anywhere near clara, and today was no different.

with your hands rested on your hips you had a minute to think before snapping your fingers. "we'll just label the bags and give them to the cashier duh."

this was going to be a long day.

spamjam._. added to their story

trentarnold66 replied to your story

trentarnold66 are we moving already??

spamjam._. we?? 😀

trentarnold66 you know what I mean, don't even.

spamjam._. 😭😭 yes I'll be in by today. why? were you hoping for a house warming party?

trentarnold66 oh definitely not. I'm sure your 3 friends wouldn't pitch anyway

I'm just upset that I don't have your address anymore. no more surprise visits ig 😓

spamjam._. I'm flattered that you think I have 3 friends 🤭 and yes I will be locking my door to stop those surprise visits

trentarnold66 it's okay. I'll just ask clara because she's super nice

spamjam._. I will end your bloodline bro don't you dareee

speak of the devil, she's calling me to come and help her. you're a distraction!! I have unpacking to do😭😭

trentarnold66 don't blame me for your problems and get back to packing

spamjam._. ??? jump [liked by trentarnold66]

"oh my god I think we're done."

you huffed out in exhaustion at clara's question, stood in the living room after you had just fluffed up the last of your throw pillows.

you didn't know how to answer, not knowing if that really was all the decoration done because there might just be one more box hiding somewhere, but your doubt quickly vanished into relief. you nodded slightly in your friend's direction with a smile of disbelief.

you swear that tears had formed in her eyes, and you felt the same. utterly exhausted and relieved. "we're done!!"

clara didn't waste a second and pulled you into an excited embrace that had you jumping up and down and squealing until you flopped down onto the sofa to finally take in the finished product of your first official apartment.

just the feeling of being in a place that you could call your own made your stomach jump. the interior design, the aesthetic— it was all so you. it was cosy and didn't feel the slightest bit empty, the walls littered with artwork, empty spaces decorated with plants, and your furniture being the cherry on top.

it felt like home.

after a few minutes of resting, you checked the time to see that it was well past midnight and even though it was friday, both you and clara had to head into the office the following day for a quick meeting and finalisation for sunday's match against manchester united.

by the time that you were all done showering and getting your things in order, you huddled yourself next to clara on the sofa in front of the t.v. the second you put off the big lights for your lamps, an indescribable feeling settled on your chest an--

"do it," clara said suddenly, drawing your attention away from the t.v.

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not knowing what she was talking about. your friend sighed heavily and muttered something under her breath before leaning over and grabbing hold of your phone.

she waved it in front of your face with a lopsided smile. "shoot. your. shot "

"excuse me? who am I shooting exactly?"

your answer didn't amuse her by the looks of it but you didn't worry because you were genuinely confused.

clara leant in a bit closer, "don't play dumb with me. I know what you are. I saw those messages."

it took a moment for you to finally grasp what she was saying and an elongated "ohhhh" left your lips. she mimicked your answer teasingly and shoved your phone back into your palm with a knowing look.

you tried your best to explain that those messaged were just simple fun and jokes but clara insisted that it was way more than that.

"are you reading these texts jamie?? he's flirting with you!!"

you paused to look her up and down for a moment. "are you mental?" you deadpanned.

clara looked as if she was about to blow a fuse, muttering something to herself while you sat with your lips slightly parted in confusion. funny enough this wasn't this first time that she was acting this strange, it had been every few days for the past two weeks.

you didn't understand why it was such a big issue. you and trent were getting slightly closer sure, but clara was pushing it. have you told her about your almost non-existent feelings for him? of course, she was your closest friend.

but something was off with her. even at work when you'd be around them during training or busy with the p.r filming, clara would nudge you into his direction. something was up, and you needed it out.

"clara," you started firmly. "what do you know?"

something flashed on her face for a split second and she averted her gaze to the t.v. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just saying that--"

she truly was a horrible liar.

"you're doing a horrible job at covering this up, don't just sit there and act confused." your eyebrows narrowed at her silence, a meak look on her eyes. "out with it then."

she sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration, you could even see a tint of red at the tips of her ears. clara was stubborn, and you were growing impatient.

she looked at you for a moment before relaxing her shoulders. "life isn't some fairy tale you know?"

what the hell is this girl talking about?

"like--" she looked up at the ceiling in thought. "--we can't expect the universe to sense our romantic feelings and magically play things in our favour."

you blinked at her a few times. "bro what the hell are you saying??"

faster than you could register, clara grabbed you by the shoulders with a look of determination in your eyes. "I'm saying make a move because no one is going to make it for you! this isn't some feet kicking, giggly rom com!"

clara's words were like a slap to the face, leaving you just as stunned. you didn't know how to respond to her, only being able to part your lips with no words falling from them.

your cellphone that was in her hand was now pressed tighly against your chest, with clara looking at you with gentle encouragement even though her words were far from it.

"okay, friends to lovers I guess." she raised her eyebrows slightly. "so about how you work on the lovers part instead of taking three steps back whenever you take one forward, you fucking coward!"

christmas had passed and it was a week into the new year. what better way to start the new year than to play arsenal in the fa cup third round? the year started off well at least, with the 4-2 win against newcastle.

you were fully settled into your new apartment, as well as your sister in london. the only thing bugging you, was clara being the equivalent of a mosquito— or a better yet, a parasite that kept reminding you of "the deal".

the deal being you asking trent on one friendly date and she'll leave you alone, and never mention anything remotely close to your love life again. you said yes as a way to get her out of your hair, but instead the exact opposite happened.

so you were planning on swallowing whatever pride you had and ask him to come over to your apartment just to chill. okay, that's definitely not what you were going to say, because that just sounded pathetic and extremely embarrassing.

just the thought alone, made you cringe.

the team arrived at the emirates stadium at 4 p.m that sarurday afternoon. the weather was a bit warmer than it had been the past few weeks, and you were quite excited for the match to be honest. you had a hunch today, or maybe you were just hungry.

you followed the camera crew out to the pitch and helped them set up before doing the necessary media procedure (making your promotional tiktoks). the first hour for setting up was always fun for you, it was quieter but to be left alone on the pitch was always something.

at some point, you even tried to teach clara how to do some warm-up drills. it would have her clapping her hands in excitement and saying, "I remember that from training."

the two of you messed around with the camera crew for a bit and documented your first trip to the emirates stadium. it was insane to think that you'd only had this job for 4 months, the most eventful yet peaceful months ever to be honest.

"why does their grass look greener than ours?" clara asked in distaste as she looked down at the ground, tapping her foot lightly.

you joined her and averted your gaze to the "greener" grass and shook your head. "It's not." you waved your hands in the air. "the air is different here or something, so it seems greener."

clara hummed in agreement, tapping her finger to her temple. "mind games. london is crazy dude."

you laughed at her comment, until the realisation began to seep in ever so slowly. "london." you muttered under your breath and put your hands on your head, causing clara to grow concerned. "shit, we're in london."

your friend gave you a look that screamed, "well no duh", but you were in fight or flight mode, saying that you needed to leave immediately which was so stupid.

"I can't be here. wait, no I'm just being dramatic. but what if I'm not?? what if I'm not being dramatic clara???"

she was dumbfounded at your sudden mood shift and nonsensical rambling, and was about to try and get any sort of coherent information but you were interrupted by a staff member calling your name since the dressing room was ready for a few more clips.

you didn't spare clara another glance and tried your best to calm yourself down as you entered the dressing room, debating with yourself on whether or not you were going insane. it took a bit but you managed to collect your thoughts and rethink the situation.

I'm just being dramatic.

you took one last breath and turned to the door, only to be met with a very confused harvey and cody. the two just stared a you for a moment, and you weren't quite sure why since it was normal for you to be in the dressing room before a game.

"I told you," harvey shook his head and looked at cody. "she's straight up talking to herself right now."

"I was what?" you asked quickly with widened eyes and cody was the one to answer this time.

"you were chanting 'I'm not being dramatic' over and over." there wasn't a hint of uncertainty in his tone which made you feel slightly embarrassed, only for mo to walk from behind them and ask what the hold up was since they were standing in the doorway.

harvey took a few cautious steps towards you. "jamie's either a witch or mentally ill." he mocked a gasp with his hand in front of his mouth. "or maybe she's a mentally ill witch."

you lunged towards him in retaliation but he managed to slither his way through the rest of the boys who were still coming in, their looks of confusion not going unnoticed. he played it safe and hid behind ibou , who preferred not to play mediator and gave him a slap on the back of his head, causing him to yell out in pain.

he tsked at the younger boy. "and you wonder why she has it out for you"

just as you put your phone back into your pocket, a light knock echoed through the now-filled room. in the doorway, stood clara who was there to fetch you for the last staff debrief. you gave harvey one last look up and down before bidding your goodbye to the rest of the team.

you joined clara as she strolled through the corridors, no haste in her step at all for some reason. she didn't say much either which worried you, so you took the initiative to ask her what was up but she didn't answer.

instead, her eyes perked up and you turned to look at what caught her attention, only to see trent walking in with his headphones on and his attention glued to his phone. the desperate look you gave clara didn't suffice, and the two of you ended up having a small whispered argument.

you shook your head vigorously as she gestured to trent who was still walking in your direction to get to the dressing room. all you had to do was walk past him without drawing attention to yourself, and you promised clara that you'd ask him after the match but she was stubborn and insisted on it happening that very moment.

"jamie I'm sorry, I love you I promise."

before you could object, she shoved you a little harsher than expected and instead of lightly nudging trent on the side like she thought you would, you ended up bumping into him in a full collision.

luckily nothing fell out of his hands, seeing as he was too startled and perhaps clara thought that he would catch you by the waist just in time— but this wasn't some fairytale! instead, he held onto his belongings tighter and watched in shock as you hit the wall, shoulder first.

"are you okay?" trent lowered his headphones and turned his attention to you. you couldn't even bring yourself to meet his gaze, but you had to suck it up despite the amount of pain you were in.

you muffled a painful hum in response and waved his concern off. "yeah, sorry I was just--" you turned to look at where clara previously was but she was gone. "--that bitch," you muttered through a gritted smile, thinking of the ways that you were going to make her life hell later on.

"excuse me?" trent asked, not sure if you were talking to him which caused the red on your face to deepen.

"nothing," you laughed awkwardly and stood up properly, your arms folded over your chest. "I just wanted to say hi... I guess."

he accounted for the uncertainty in your answer but didn't bring it up, only feining a lopsided smile. "well that was quite the entrance, super dramatic."

you faked a laugh at his joke and blinked a few times. "yeah, you know me and being dramatic. you can't have one without the other." your tongue poked the side of your cheek at the irony of your answer.

a moment of silence enveloped the two of you again as the awkward encounter came to an end because trent needed to get to the dressing room. you moved to the side and let him past, internally battling with yourself for wasting the opportunity but you called him back before he was too far off.

trent looked down at you, the shimmer in his eyes having you frozen in spot for a moment. "I wanted to know if you were..." you had no idea how you were supposed to ask him at all, you didn't think that practice was needed.

"like tomorrow since we have the day off, would you..."

this was pathetic. you were pathetic, fumbling over your words for something this stupid. it was so unlike you to be this nervous, which made it even more awkward.

trent gave you another moment before his lips tugged up into a smile. "yes I would."

you swallowed the lump in your throat. "you don't even know what I was going to say."

he simply shrugged his shoulders. "whatever you want, I'm down for. and as much as I'd love to continue this little back and forth, I really need to go. but I'll see you later okay?"

you nodded. all you could do was nod as you watched him walk away with the same amused smile on his lips when all you wanted to do was bury yourself alive. never again, this was never going to happen again. you wouldn't allow it.

you ran your fingers through your hair in an attempt to cool down your rising temperature. you were blushing for no reason at all. with your back against the wall, you took a few deep breaths only to feel a nudge on your shoulder. you didn't bother opening your eyes, because if you did then all hell would break loose.

you could hear clara smiling from beside you as she leant in and whispered teasingly. "he's down for whatever you want," she giggled. "what do you want jamie?"

"I want you dead."

it was about 10 minutes before kick-off and both teams were on the pitch for their warm-ups, while the supporters settled in their seats and so far, everything was running as per normal.

you were doing your regular rounds with your camera around your neck, as well as your phone in hand to get some videos of the boys for extra content. you even got the opportunity to talk to a few of the arsenal players as well.

they were all extremely nice, asking about how you were finding your job so far and whatnot. it was a sweet interaction that you didn't expect from them, especially since this was a crucial match.

"you must be getting so cold right now," ali chuckled as he took a spot beside you on the pitch, leaning over to look at the pictures you were going through on the camera.

you scoffed. "being cold is a mindset, I'm perfectly fine right now."

your answer prompted a laugh from the older man who wasn't the slightest bit convinced. "I can see your goosebumps."

"you're delusional."

finally it was time for kick off, and you took your respective seat next to clara with the rest of the staff and huddled into your hoodie with your hands in your pocket. for the first 10 minutes of the first half, you couldn't help but feel that you were being watched.

normally you'd brush the feeling off, but today it felt different. so eventually you took the liberty of turning around and scouting the crowd to see if you could notice anyone, and just as you were about to give up someone in the crowd caught your eye.

your stomach dropped to the floor with a single moment of eye contact. it felt as if the world around you had stopped, the only thing catching your eye being the boy looking over your shoulder.

he looked no different than when you last saw him, just a bit more mature. as usual, he was sporting his arsenal jersey and scarf— the same jersey and scarf that you scolded him for wearing around you. the look in his eyes was unreadable, but his expression must've been just as shocked as yours.

you shifted your gaze to the person cuddled to his side, and to no surprise, there stood your ex-best friend. in the flesh, just as you started to move on the universe decided to give you the biggest reminder of your departure from london.

michael and kelly— your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best friend.

you couldn't break eye contact no matter how hard you tried and clara who wanted to comment on something about the match was victim to your daze. with her eyebrows furrowed she followed your gaze, her jaw dropping instantly.

something crept up your spine, and unfamiliar feeling that you couldn't shake off while trying to focus on the match in front of you.

"I wish I was a mentally ill witch right now."

[suguru-getos]

— hawks hit by a yandere quirk —

-> warnings: yandere themes, mentions of feather blade cuts, completely delulu hawksie, toxic love (ofc its yandere), fem! reader, mentions of self h@/rm scars. mentions of slight choking, degradation, shock and breakdown. it’s dark, okay? stay off of it if you don’t like it. loads and loads and loads of word vomit ahead and not beta’d.

all you could hear was the rumbling and the faint noises that echoed from the tv. the main pro heroes like hawks, endeavor, dynamight were caught in a nuisance and your heart was thumping out loud for your boyfriend. it’s been 2 months only, that keigo and you started dating, hell you’ve never even been to his apartment yet.

why?

it’s… complicated

you’re one of the renouned pop idols of japan and had been writing songs dedicated to hawks. yes— you fell first and he fell harder. during one of the award functions hawks was quick to catch a-hold of you, which turned into a one night stand— which turned into you telling him to leave because you couldn’t accept a hero like hawks wanting to be with a quirkless woman. which turned into a few unreleased songs and eventually— you and keigo together.

this time though? you couldn’t care less, you really wanted to check if hawks was doing okay and drove to the hospital he was in. he was — okay. for the most part? a few scratches here and there, a few feathers missing but your man never looked better. what you didn’t know is how mentally he wasn’t okay. under the effect of several mutated quirks, one of them being the yandere one.

how could you sense it really? well— it was in plain fucking sight! the way hawks possessively grabbed you and kissed you, uncaring of who’s watching in the damned hospital & glaring daggers with his marked pupils when you so much so flinched the wrong way. it was visible that he wasn’t okay.

“eh, babe- what if someone sees us?” you tried to squirm away from his iron grip, being straddled on his lap like his favorite toy. “and?” keigo sounded, almost uninterested, annoyed at your statement.

“then we’d have a ruckus…” you gulped, clearing your throat, trying your best to understand what actually was going wrong.

hawks took a pause, his pupils scanning you and ended up in a long sigh. “you’re right babygirl, let’s just go to my apartment.”

you widened your eyes a little, ‘his’ apartment? he’s never taken you there, not even once! why the sudden change of heart? “alright!” you managed to answer, curiosity taking over you as you let keigo carry you princess style in the high skies and eventually in his balcony.

“s’ not much, definitely doesn’t feel as homely as yours but it’s what it is.” keigo led you inside, while you noticed how ikea-ish the whole vibe was. nothing was displaced, everything felt unreal and uninhabitable. reminded you of the fact that keigo doesn’t stay in his apartment much.

the next moment again, took you off guard. landing right on the bed on keigo’s lap, soft tender kisses starkly contrasting from his hands which hovered all over your body, not leaving any square inch of you untouched with his carnal, almost dangerous growls rendered you speechless, and slightly uncomfortable.

“ngh- AH keigo- easy there,” you whimpered when his teeth nibbled at your bottom lip, unable to find time to breathe properly. hawks wanted you and you were unable to keep up with his predator instincts.

“what?” he leaned back, hands wrapping themselves around your neck suddenly, squeezing them gently. “do you not want to be loved, kid?” of course it wasn’t a question, keigo sounded offended with your predicaments.

“no- no, its not like that you’re just behaving weirdly.” you managed to utter honestly, when another hand squeezed your face, golden eyes daggering and glowering at your form as keigo pecked your forced puckered lips. “then act like you’re enjoying being worshipped yeahh? i love you after all.”

of course he loved you, even you didn’t doubt that; for now atleast—

what was making you anxious was how nauseating his love felt right now. how it made you feel insignificant, insecure, pathetic.

when you feel weird, you act weird. maybe it was your mistake with how you acted— and lied to hawks, to get rid of him. you just needed space from him.

“i think i should let you rest, yeah?” a sugarcoated lie that you wanted to flee from him, gave you a sugarcoated answer from keigo. “i can rest while you’re here, can’t i?”

keigo hugged you again, suffocating you with his large wings covering you up, and not letting a single speck of light pass. “ye-yeah.” you were growing more nervous by the moment.

“you know? i’ve thought about some things. how you’re busy, in the studio, with other people, with fans, shooting ad commercials,” keigo paused, uncocooning you and glaring at you softly, as if he feels betrayed.

“huh?” you couldn’t say anything to that— yes you were, but that’s your job!

“what if i get rid of everyone and keep you to myself.” keigo smirked, watching your expressions change to half disgust, half anxious as you forced a chuckle.

“n-no? you’re the number 2 hero after all!” you smiled, trying to balm the wound his words gave you all by yourself. maybe any reassurance would help at the moment.

“mhm, and who said? heroes are all white with no grey areas? and, can’t be morally fucked?” boy— now you were losing your damn mind. you knew keigo never talk like this after all.

“uhm,” you managed to conjure up another lie. “i uh, forgot to feed my cat. i gotta go”

pathetic— poor and disgusting, that’s how your lie felt to hawks. siren eyes glaring at you as if you know, that he knows. you’re fucking lying. that feeling itself made you uncomfortable. hawks paused— clearing his throat, “you visited the hospital which means you had already fed him before going out. besides— didn’t he have an automatic feeder?”

“ye-yeah but i forgot to put food in it.”

“don’t be silly, dove” hawks cooed, glaring knives and hatred at your lies. “i saw you fill it 2 days back.”

before you could say anything else, his hand squeezed your throat, still careful and haven’t gone completely off the edge. “why’re you lying to me? do you want to meet someone else behind my back and whore around? like you do in award shows? click pathetic pictures with heroes for the camera and attention while i WATCH WHAT’S MINE BEING TOUCHED BY SOMEONE ELSE?”

you flinched, resisting and pushing him away after witnessing the heat of his rage first hand. “no- what the fuck’s wrong with you i’d never! i’ve written songs for you do you have no respect for me?” your voice also rose a few octaves, but hawks’ grip was relentless, pushing you on the mattress face first with an unbearable grip on your neck which you can’t get up from.

you felt powerless in the most disgusting, self hating way. if only you hadn’t been quirkless— if only—

you tried to push your way up, causing a knuckle crack that sounded loud enough to scare hawks, his hold left you immediately and he was surrendered on his knees, feathers splayed down on the floor with panic struck eyes. “fuck fuck fuck- are you okay?” he mumbled, holding your hand and looking at you with downpours of guilt you could swear was fake.

“m’ fine i’m not made of glass.” now your helplessness against someone as powerful as him was proving to enrage you. eyes daring to glare back at the absolute manipulative powerhouse of a man. “i want to leave.”

it was like a switch flipped in hawks, one moment he was kneeling down, the other moment he was up again, dominating you through your very core, pinning your wrists to the bed as he clicked his tongue. you could tell his patience was running thin.

“here’s what’s gonna happen— kid, you’re not moving anywhere for shit. and to remind you that you can’t go anywhere, and who exactly you belong to, i’ll mark you up, yeah?” stray plumes emerged from his wings as they ripped off your t shirt, uncaring, unflinching and unbothered of the littering papercuts that oozed out blood from your body.

“please- please no no- no i don’t consent to this you’re FUCKING SICK what’s wrong with you!” your anxiety ravaged your mind, bile rising up your throat as you felt the pain of being his all at once. hawks’ ignorant eyes as if he’s dealing with a child having a temper tantrum was chilli flakes to your wounds.

quickly, as if you breathing more was a waste of time, hawks yanked your wrist close to his, feather blade sharp and precise as he drew a line above one of your self harm scars, eventually completing the “K” of keigo.

by then you were begging, praying, chanting for him to stop, hawks wanted you to suffer, deliberately gliding his blade across your skin slowly, making you feel the ripping of your skin tissue, ignoring your pleads and how you don’t ‘consent’, who asked for your consent anyways? you were nothing more than a toy to stomp and play around with. punish if you don’t submit. hawks was sure to get that message through your skull.

with a little, complimentary mercy, he wrote the rest of his name quickly on your hand, maybe he was getting annoyed at your begging, or maybe he did feel bad. all you knew was he never loved you.

“there we go, nice and pretty,” sadistically, he licked off the strip of blood from your wrist, and you could swear you saw him kiss your self harm scars, a flash of the previous aftercare memory maybe.

tears flowing through your eyes and shock enough to supress the smallest sniffles, you kept staring at your hand. unlucky for hawks— when he gets off the effects of whatever the quirk that got ahold of him was, he’d never be able to hold you again.

you were beyond numb, why wouldn’t you be? it was a reminder that you dated the wrong man— and maybe you should be punished for it. or will you really be able to accept that it was a quirk? keigo would never do this to you, but hawks did and relished it. maybe it’s better to lose them both.

and you will, when hawks gets back to his senses and gives you his pathetically constructed apology, you will realize maybe— for a quirkless, normal human being, dating the #2 hero was the biggest mistake of your life.

[orange-oracy]

hey y'all! calling all corpos!! my account got terminated :')

if you were following:

@femboy-hooters-official, @jollibee-real, @firewaysubs, @officially-google-translate, @firesub-houseway (technically run by a friend who i shared my account with but still-), or @white-castle-official

then you probs won't see them again 'cause tumblr isn't letting me get my account back T>T

i might remake them again and hopefully keep myself out of trouble! also this account IS ALSO SHARED NOW!!!!!!!! OLLIE AND ORACY ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE BEING WEIRDGE AND STUFF (oracy is the one posting art, i shitpost and talk to people. we'll start using different tags- #ovi talks for ollie and #oracy talks for oracy)

Btw, yes, this also means that my (ollie) two writing account got termed too, but i won't tag those 'cause- oh wow snails.......

tagging some ppl: @lils-ki, @sam-the-skelepun, @gibberish-anon-from-hell, @official-omegamart, @operagxreal @barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @firefox-official @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @pinterest-real @definitely-wikipedia @important-question-anon @samsung-music-official @firehouse-subs-fr @realsafari