#he’s a good stepdad tho

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Of all the theories as to how Carmilla and her daughters found eachother in Hell (adoption, reuniting after they died, one or all three being Hellborn, ect;), I think my personal favorite is the one where Carmilla was either pregnant when she died or later gave birth to a child she miscarried when she was alive.

But whether or not that’s true, one of my favorite crack theories/headcanons about Carmilla being pregnant in Hell is how absolutely weird the other Overlords would be about it- because let’s be real, they would absolutely be weird about it. Maybe supportive and weird, but weird.

Zestial, nervously following Carmilla around: My darling. My own heart. I beg of thou, please, for just a moment.

Carmilla, still stubbornly walking around in her ridiculously sharp shoes: I’M FINE.

Zestial, who’s been trying to get her to sit down or at least change her shoes for over an hour: 0,_0

Rosie, crouched at her side with a glass of something red and questionable: I’m telling you, honey, just try this. It’ll cure that morning sickness in a jiffy.

Carmilla, curled up on her bathroom floor: …it disturbs me that I’m nauseous enough to actually be considering this.

Zestial comes to her rescue and shoos Rosie out to go make her some (GINGER) tea before Carmilla can do something she’ll regret.

Alastor, gazing suspiciously: Why on earth is your abdomen moving like that? Is something trying to break out?

Carmilla, too exhausted to deal with this: That movement is my baby kicking, Alastor.

Alastor: Pardon? You mean to tell me that one can see that on the outside? Eugh.

Carmilla, glaring at him: You are so lucky you’re not worth getting up for.

- Rosie insists on throwing her a baby shower. Vox and Alastor get kicked out for fighting and are forced to put together the IKEA furniture for the nursery as punishment.

- I seriously doubt this lot can build and work an ultrasound machine, so something like this is likely.

Carmilla, slowly coming to after giving birth: Mmmh…?

Rosie, happily bouncing one baby in her arms: Oh good, she’s up! Congratulations, sweetie. You have two beautiful daughters 🥰

Carmilla: ….

Zestial, who’s gently cradling the other: Carmilla…? Is something the matter?

Carmilla: …there’s really two of them. I thought I was hallucinating.

BONUS:

Fun fact- some scientists say cats have sensitive enough hearing that they can hear babies’ heartbeats within their mother’s bodies.

Husk, staring at Carmilla:

Carmilla, who’s still processing that she’s pregnant and hasn’t begun telling anyone else: …is something wrong?

Husk, ears bristling slightly: h o w m a n y h e a r t s d o y o u h a v e ?

[twinknote]

not me deciding on a restaurant to meet my dad at next week and also exactly what i’m gonna order a week in advance

[cannibalismyuri]

all's fair (war and peace)

kisses on cheeks and necks and collarbones and fingers / hands on necks pushing me to my best and on my arm pulling me away from the battle and on my face shielding me from my true self / your mouth bruised and bit and divided and conquered while your hands granted me temporary hope and a fucked up nostalgic dissonance from the real world / practice what you preach, i used to tell you / the difference between your preaching and practice never really existed as a discernable distance, but rather a manifestation of fatal hubris staining the cracks of your mantras / love is war and fair, and peace is unrequited and unattainable / the caverns of your love were too enormous for me too even begin to explore the subtleties of it / the vines of my preconceived notions must have wrapped around your throat as you choked out your repeated stories about gratefulness and being sated with the minimum i was given so that i'd never dare hope for more / when you vanished into the humid mist of the mystery that was so inherently you that i never learned to question it, the gasoline left by your presence burned. and it burned bright in the dark and harsh on my skin / your love wasn't fair or unrequited or unattainable. your love wasn't war or peace. your love was elemental / earth, air, fire, wind, water / your love was all-encompassing and destructive, and i drowned in it.

[mxwhore]

patron saint of being hot

and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot

ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)

ask gamerino

[lovscb97]

bang chan recs (18+)

key: !!! = personal favourite, s = smut, f = fluff, a = angst

add. notes: hai :3 i know i said i would make a skz recs list but the minute i scrolled thru my likes n started saving from chan onwards, i realised i had Too many recommended fics for him (this list is like 40 fics/drabbles long....) so i decided to just make member separate posts instead!!! i tried not to have repeats of authors to give u guys a broader scope to choose from n also sorry in advance that i yapped so much abt them it's just like . these r my all time fav authors so it's expected. anyways i hope u guys love these works as much as i do bcs they r from some of my absolute fav creators n plz give them lots of love n always make sure to appreciate these ppl <3

. . .

hopelessly devoted to you — @changbunnies (!!!, s, a?)

this was literally a 11/10 fic like i am not even joking rn. i luv greaser chan n even tho he messed up, the way he makes it up to mc is so so soooo sweet. the fact that he's so gone n pussydrunk while eating her out, the sweetness in how he holds her n fucks her is all too mindnumbing n i hope u continue writing bcs u r amazing at it!! i will always come back 2 this when i need a pick me up fr

2. bad idea — @hyunsvngs (!!!, s)

JUNOOOOO my lovely baby.... i adore u n all ur work always but this fic. This Fic. it changed the trajectory of my life. like not even kidding but i was a different person when i started reading this n when i finished it i was Changed. life is worth living now, the grass is greener n the birds always sing 2 me which i firmly believe is bcs of u n this beautiful yummy fic. i fucking LOVE stepdad chan sm like there's smth so gross n nasty abt fucking ur mom's bf n even tho mc is a menace, i still loved it. never stop doing what u do!!!

3. 1095 days — @luvyeni (s)

EX INMATE CHAN RAHHHHH!! i have akshewally been following ur work for so long n i LOVE!! the way u write :3 thank u for always churning out ur work so fast n being so good at what u do. im obv a sucker for daddy kink considering i eat it up every time n it's so fucking good i love how chan cares for mc n the way he gives it to her once he's back. mark my words i will EAT this man up n this fic whenever i stumble across it

4. milk and honey — @straykeedz (s, f, a?)

user straykeedz u have to stop... ur work too addicting n perfect.. ur depiction of chan too real n crazy (/pos)... they're gonna get u... but seriously i love bffs2lovers so bad n the way u always characterise chan n make him call mc so many cute pet names melts my heart :( i've also been following U for a long time n even tho everything u write is so so soooo good, this has to be one of my faves alongside ur inexperienced chan fic. i hope u don't pressure urself too much to update n jus do what u have to do :D

5. my wife — @chrizzztopherbang (s, f)

ngl i Think this is my first fic from u cus i followed u bcs of it n that's a given honestly cus newly turned husband chan?? eating his wife out metres away from his friends n family on the other side of the door n fucking her within an inch of her life right after they're pronounced husband n wife?? i love it i loved their bickering over who's a pervert n i just love the idea of mc finally calling the love of her life hers forever. i hope they r always happy alongside u

6. sweet nothing — @frenchkisstheabyss (!!!, s, f, a)

this fic actually changed me as a person too not even kidding. i EAT UP exes to lovers n the portrayal of it was so good here bcs there's so much unspoken tension between the two n then chan begging mc to not leave again n her promising she won't bcs all she wants to do is be his at last?? AWOOGAAAAA i need him so bad it's jinja michin (i am so cringe sorry..) ANYWAYS!! i hope u know tattoo artist + ex bangchan is a crazy combo n that the makeup sex was HOT HOT HOT!!! plz keep writing i adore u <3

7. pick you up — @moonchild9350 (!!!, s)

see idk if this is tmi but sex where ure being picked up n fucked is downright nasty in the best possible way n i fear i need to get railed like that by chan so u writing abt is literally u making my fantasies come true. this fic was a delicious mix of cute w chan telling mc he only works out so he can pick her up (based off of his bbl texts obv) n hot w him Actually fucking her within an inch of her life. i love all ur work tee bee eich so keep doing what ur doing!!!

8. spring has sprung — @cbini (!!!, f, s)

miss ems where do i even begin with u.. (u probably Do Not Know me but i know u smirk emoji. soz that was weird erm but ya i am the binnie anon who said u deserve changbin LOLZ) this fic was the perfect mix of cuteness w raw passionate fucking i love the idea of chan getting hard bcs ur dressed so preciously in a pretty dress i think it's rooted somewhere in his slight corruption kink which comes out def when u r all dolled up for him. anyways u never miss n i hope u know that <3

9. walking in on rooomate!chan / pt. 2 — @kacciidubs (!!!, s, f)

going 2 be very honest here i do not even remember what happened in part 1 bcs part 2 of this roommate chan fic actually blew my mind away like Seriously user kacciidubs u r insane!!! all ur work never misses n i am always so eager whenever u post bcs i've been following u n loving everything u put out for so long. ofc ur chan work is my favourite as u can tell but this fic... this fic was crazy the switch between daddy n sir oh my god what if i cream my pants rn. plz never stop writing <3

10. last nerve / pt. 2 — @cb97percent (!!!, s)

user cb97percent let me just preface this by saying whatever u write is INSANE. like i already knew u were a great writer but this fic? changed me as a person not even joking rn. the way mc n chan banter n how chan's an asshole who is pissed off how he can't get it up anymore unless he fucks mc is so funny n how the raw passion between them results in the best sex Ever. n ofc the ending w minho took me out n Yea i just . i have no words plz never stop writing to u as well

11. hush — @petrichor-han (s)

sucker for exhibitionism n sucker for chan so what better way to comemorate this occasion than by reading abt it? this entire scenario was so hot like honestly i can totally imagine chan's bitchass doing this bcs he's so cheeky in nature he would lose himself from the thrill of almost getting caught. u r amazing as always thank u for churning out so much content for kinktober may god or whoever u believe in bless u with eternal inspiration

12. daddy!chan helping you shave — @hyunjins-orange-slice-too (!!!, s, f)

i sent u an ask already talking abt how much i love u n everything u write but THIS. this made me weak in the knees bcs i have imagined this very scenario so many times if im being brutally honest. there's smth so sweet n domestic abt the act of helping ur partner shave n with daddy chan in the mix? kill me now plz. the way he asks if he can play w mc once he's done n how he sternly instructs her to be safe like omgkjdfjhjdfgjhhjg need him in ways that give the pits of hell a run for its money w how hot n nasty im abt to be fr

13. one last time — @baby-yongbok (!!!, s, a?)

like i said, i am a sucker for the exes to lovers pipeline alongside husband chan so while this isn't Either of those things entirely it still scratches the itch in my brain very very well. the way mc n chan exchange snarky remarks n how chan only says he's satisfied once they're done fucking OHHHH MYYYYY GODDDD... need this man carnally like i would dump him just so he can fuck me the way he fucked mc in this fr (that is a lie we r locked in 4 life). u r brilliant as always i always look forward to ur work so next time u r questioning if this is worth it just know lovscb97 on tumblr has ur back fr

14. chan ask drabble #1 — @skzms (s)

maymay.. my eternal luvr... the genius behind smrsmf minsung... ofc u were bound to eat this up n end up on this list. idgaf if it's just an ask answer or drabble bcs the way u write is so . so Elegant. i love how u always use ur words to describe the emotion lingering between ppl in love n the way u do it here w chan n mc, the way he reassures her afterwards n how he promises her he'll give her everything later while fucking his fingers into her ohhhh mannnn.. i can just imagine him in his suit thank u for bringing the vision to life fr

15. you're right, baby — @chlorinecake (s, f)

soft dom chan who is ur fiancé fucking u n claiming u bcs he's a lil pouty that u forgot ur ring?? n then going so far to say he'll cum in u to make sure everyone knows who u belong to?? RAHHHHHH HE NEEDS ME!!! this was written so deliciously i loved the way mc n chan cared for each other n also the ending was so cute LOLZ hope they r happy in every universe n that their wedding goes great fr u r an awesome writer user chlorinecake

16. silence — @valkyriexo (s, a)

make up sex make up sex make up sex!!! i love it so good even tho it hurts so bad when mc realises chan forgot to show up :( but the fact that he makes it up to her by begging her to not leave him n making her cum as many times on his tongue as possible for her to forgive him?? INSANITY!! the longing in their eyes n words n actions from how much they've missed e/o when he finally touches mc n oh man.. u ate this up

17. corruption — @goquokka00 (s)

STEPBRO CHAN RAHHHHH i am a sucker for him (in more ways than one iygwim eheheh.. soz) i loved the sinister blackmail u added into the story n how he fucked mc bcs of her bad grades by making up some shit excuse abt learning how to please someone like y/n u can't be this dense girl!!! (i'd do it too if he asked me #Tbh) ANYWAYS. idk how this didn't have more notes bcs it was hot asfk i hope u keep writing more stuff to come :3

18. chef's kiss — @hyuniepies (s, f)

the tenderness of mc n chan's love mixed w the nasty dirty talk ohhhh hyuniepies u r a GENIUS!! this is exactly how i imagine domestic life w chan would be like; him coming back home to u cooking a dinner n then fucking u absolutely silly on the countertop bcs he just can't wait after getting a look at ur figure n bcs he's missed u so much. i too would be obsessed w bangchan if (read: when) he becomes my husband teehee

19. chan ask drabble #2 — @miupow (!!!, s)

USER MIUPOW UR FUCKING BRAIN!! HOW DO U CARRY SUCH A HUGE BRAIN IN UR HEAD!!! DOES UR BACK NOT HURT FROM HOLDING UP THE DELICIOUS IDEAS OF BCHAN SIZE KINK!!! like i told u yst i love ur writing n i love U so bad. u always eat w every request or idea u come up with n i absolutely adore that for u i hope u truly never stop writing bcs u have a serious gift n i hope ppl keep telling u that constantly bcs i sure as hell will <3

20. pretty mouth of yours — @jeongin-lvr (s, f)

need to give chan head like . Yesterday. but OHHHH MEINNNN GOTTTT fiancé channie w mc sucking him off so pretty u know exactly what im a sucker for u dont u user jeongin-lvr? ur writing is tooooooo good i swear i have read so much of ur work n granted this is one of my fave chan works from u icl i love the jeongin ones even more but i'll add those to my innie recs list later :3 ANYWAYS!! plz never stop writing u r awesomesauce (cringe.) n i love u hope u r having a great day today

21. daddy issues — @hwan-g (!!!, s, a)

HELLO THIS FUCKING FICCCCC... it is so good so delicious so fucking beautifully written that it brought tears to my eyes no joke. i still remember the first time i stumbled across it n like wow.. i think i dmed u on my side reading account too to express how much i liked it bcs i rly Did like it truly was a piece of art n sometimes i can't believe ppl like u just write stuff like this for free?? u should be getting paid good money bcs all ur work ALWAYS eats <3

22. closing the distance / pt. 2 — @thefantasyden (s, f)

ik long distance relationships r tough n it's awful when u can't spend time w each other physically or touch either but hear me out . it would Not suck w chan bcs he'd do everything for u the way he does everything for mc in this fic. from how he shows up n is too nervy to kiss her to them finally touching each other for the first time n then she moves back to him?? ohhhh man i love love n i love U for making this ur work always eats n trust that i'll always come back to this fic when i need to rmb how much i love chan

23. riding chan's thigh/knees — @faeryacha (!!!, s, f)

i love daddy chan so bad im sorry im not even gonna hide it anymore n i love the way he was written here too, from the way he asks if mc wants to play to the way he has her fuck herself on him to get herself off like i'm not even into little space like that but the minute he refers to himself as daddy n speaks to me all soft n protective im on my knees on the floor ready to suck him off like my life depends on it. u ate so bad w this plz continue doing more amazing work in the future!!!

24. steamy desires — @notsoangels (s)

shower sex w chan mngnghfhghgh.. need him so bad id let him fuck me anywhere as he pleases but in the shower?? w the hot water cascading over us w just us in our little world like omgomgomg NEED. i love the simplicity in ur writing too n how it paints a picture in my mind bcs i can vividly imagine all of this happening like him making u squirt on his cock n then rinsing u off so u can spend time wrapped up with each other on the bed like plz. One chance plz.

25. the fuckboy next door — @seospicybin (!!!, s, a)

miss seospicybin.. how do u always do it? how do u always come out w the most mindbreaking jawdropping amazing insane array of fics without even breaking a sweat like hello? this series is so fucking good from the smut to the angst that hurts so good. i love the development of the plot n that chan tries So hard to be true to mc so he can be w her n the way she tells him to do it for himself like :( they deserve each other sm i am very much looking forward to part 4!!!

26. pussydrunk chan — @aeliuss (s, f)

mngngngngjghgh i love pussydrunk chan so bad n i love the idea of him being so infatuated w mc that he just Had to drag her away n eat her out. i also love that he's there to support her in the end n how turned on he gets from her just being herself like that is a real man!!! n the way it's so reflective of how chan is irl too? i feel like this is how exactly how he'd behave— needy but so so soo in love with u too

27. kitty — @bandgie (!!!, s, f)

no joke this fic made my pussy throb. i need him 2 do this to him so bad bcs i need Him so bad. the way u wrote the subspace drop n how immersed mc was in her role n the way chan guides her thru everything n then the aftermath of it like hngnngnfgddjghjgh... i always have loved ur writing but this particular piece rly got to me along w ur kinktober series i hope u continue to do writing bcs u seriously so so SO good at it fr!!

28. angel eyes — @temptaetions (!!!, s, a)

this fic. this fucking FIC. bro this is actual evidence of the fact that literary geniuses exist bcs the way u wrote so beautifully not just the actual smut but the whole storyline?? u r a godsend fr like u should be getting paid to put out work of this degree. not only r u a PHENOMENAL writer but i hope u never stop writing bcs this was actually so so lovely n amazing to read i wish i could revisit the first time i read this T_T

29. just (fucking) friends? — @snowyquokka (s)

HELLOOOO i love possessive fwb chan almost as much as i love ur writing!! the way he's so annoyed at how she said they're just friends so he takes out his anger on her but then at the same time asks her what her color is to make sure she's still okay WOWZAAAA.. need him Bad. n in the end when they both agree they don't wanna be just friends like chan.. i don't want 2 be just friends either.. come 2 me plz... anyways very yummy work fr

30. american whiskey — @straywrds (!!!, s, a)

this fic... how do i even begin w this fic... the way u write is actually so . so otherwordly yk? u rly pour all ur passion into ur writing n the way u describe everything like every emotion every detail every feeling it's so raw n real that it touches my heart. i can Feel what each of the characters go thru n the SMUT... the smut is so so delicious ofc. i've read ur other work n u r such a good writer plz keep going with what u do i will always support u fr

31. free use w/ soft dom chris — @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (s, f)

the dirty talk in this.. hngnngkgjjdgjjh. i need free use w daddy!chan just as bad as i need to reread this fic ten times until it's ingrained in my brain n any telepath w the ability to read minds out there is disgusted by how many times i think abt it (idk what this analogy was i am sorry). the way he eats mc out n the way he fucks her omgfkjdgjhjhgjh NEED HIM RAHHHHH u did so well w this

32. play tight / pt. 4  — @roseykat (s, a)

squirting w chan squirting w chan SQUIRTING!! W CHAN!!! the way he makes mc do it once n then immediately goes "yea i need to feel that on my dick" n fucks her within an inch of her life like ohmygodjkdjhsfghj i did eat up the angst too but the way u wrote them fuckinig was so nasty n delicious I ENJOYED IT SM!! this entire series is such a good read even tho it's not chan centered idk if there r more parts to it but if there r plz link me to them!!

33. dream you — @charmercharm3r (s, f)

ok i know we r discussing smut n all n trust that i will get to that but THIS!! this was so cute n precious ohemgee the way he loves mc n takes care of her n banters w her at the start so lovingly is so so precious to me i want him so bad :( the smut was also very delicious w chan switching to hard dom mode n making mc suck him off before ravishing her like oh my god PLZZZZ FUCK ME PLZPLZPLZ u did so well on this plz continue writing more for me at the least <3

34. brat-taming w/ chan — @blurboki (s)

this damn drabble was so.. hngngjfjghjhdgjh. i want 2 be a brat to chan so bad n act out just so he'll snap n put me into my place which is exactly what u wrote n i LOVED IT!!! it's so short n simple (not a bad thing at all btw) yet it's so powerful too? i love the characterisation of chan cus i firmly believe this is how he'd act in bed w a fussy bratty s/o like wow. Just wow. i love u and ur delicious mind i hope u r having a great day just for this :3

35. tell me all about it.. — @chnsbm (s, f)

hngnfjhdfsjghgjh the idea of chan making u forget all about ur stress n playing with u to help u sleep is so gfjfjjjffjhgjhjh HOT!!! the way he lovingly reassures mc like u don't need to worry abt it now just let me take care of u n how he's such a fuckin TEASE!! w the way he's touching her is so so hot u ate w this idea n i will forever die on the hill that this is really smth chan would do— tease u n make u talk while he's doing ungodly things to u just to see u stutter over ur words

36. be that guy — @daizymax (!!!, s, a)

i have said it once i have said it twice n i will say it one more time bcs i don't care how many times i need to reiterate it needs to be said: EXES TO LOVERS W CHAN IS TOP TIER!!! the smut in this was so delicious but the LONGING chan had for mc.. the way he felt the twinge in his chest for letting her go oh man.. i'd take him back if he so even looked at me but maybe im just crazy. BUT ANYWAYS!! this is possibly one of the hottest chan smuts there ever is so thank U for this delicious gift fr

37. more than just friends — @kwanisms (!!!, s, f)

werewolf chan my luvr... my big strong baby who will knock me up w his knot n fuck me until the sun rises RAHHHHHHHH!!! this was so so SOOOOO good n yummy like from the way he pinned mc to the wall to the way he ordered her around n how his self restraint snapped the moment she called him daddy like why's that so Me behaviour HELPPPP anyways user kwanisms u fucking ATE w this i hope ur pillow is cold every night u go to sleep <3

38. connected — @j-0ne25 (s, f, a)

let me just start this by saying I FUCKING LOVE U USER J-0NE25!!! ur interactive stories esp megaverse r so fucking good how r u so bigbrained my dumbass could never like actually JSDHJFJHGJH. anyways i rmb reading this very vividly n oh boy.. "baby patience, or do you need me to teach you a lesson?" Brother my panties r drenched n off dont even start w me rn. anyways this was so so delicious plz never stop writing i beg u

39. chan ask drabble #3 — @hyungszn (!!!, s, f)

saved the best for last but CLOVER.. (u dk me but i am ur biggest fan hai :3) "your mouth is saying no but your body is telling me a different story, mrs. bang." GRRRHJDJSDFJHKJSFKJSFKJGJ... I NEED HIM SOO FUCKING BAD!!! the way they banter even while having nasty sex n just love each other so bad n hello my breeding kink went feral w this. when mc asked him to not eat his cum out of her pussy n he was like "and why is that?" cus he wanted to hear her say it GRAHHHHH I WILL EAT HIM!!! on a side note, u r so so soooo amazing i have been reading ur work for so long i think since american pie n i can safely say u r one of the best skzblr writers i have ever seen along w so many other ppl like plz keep up the good work bcs i will ALWAYS support u for it !!!

. . .

add notes: thank u very much to all these amazing writers fr. if ur work wasn't featured here now do not fret!! i probably (most definitely knowing my dumbass) just missed it cus i didn't scroll Very far down in my likes (there's like 2k+....) so trust that u will most likely end up on the next recs list!! i love u all very much regardless if u r here or not n as always a very big thank u once more for all ur amazing hard work, u r all doing so well n i hope u guys know that <3

[whillowed]

sometimes texting my family makes me want to kill myself LMAO

[incorrectbatfam]

On the subject of Damian and the axolotl, I feel like people do send him pictures of animals and stuff and he gives a rating, idk tho

Stranger: I thought you'd like to know that Lacey had her puppies. *sends a pic*

Damian: For once, a mother who should be proud. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: *sends a derpy cat pic* This is my cat Momo, short for Movie-Theater Mozzarella-Sticks. He just turned 3 and likes to eat pillow feathers.

Damian: Truly the cat of all time. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I think I saw Krypto the Superdog on my way to work. *sends blurry video of Krypto flying*

Damian: There goes Metropolis's hero. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: *sends a pic of a lizard in a pointy hat* This is King Gizzard, my lizard, as a wizard for Halloween.

Damian: I would give him all my candy. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: *sends a video of their parrot*

The parrot: Polly loves crackers and Damian.

Damian: Tell Polly I love her too. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: Bruh there are so many gophers at Gotham U. *sends pic of gophers chilling in the quad*

Damian: 10/10. Good for them, living their best life.

———————

Stranger: Do fish count? If so here's Bubbles. *sends video of a goldfish*

Damian: They absolutely do. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I went to my aunt's farm and got to ride the horses. Meet Dash. *sends Instagram story with a horse*

Damian: A fine specimen. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: Opinions on this stingray? *sends scuba diving footage*

Damian: Superb. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I found a worm. What should I name him? *sends pic*

Damian: He looks like a Kevin. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: This is me and my stepdad with the hens we've been raising. *sends pic*

Damian: What lovely ladies. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I went to a butterfly garden today. *sends video of a butterfly landing on their hand*

Damian: Stunning. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I just got back from a safari. *sends album of savannah herds*

Damian: Next time take me with you. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: *sends a Ratatouille GIF*

Damian: Don't tell my family but I'm training my rats to do the same. 10/10 by the way.

———————

Stranger: This is Herbie, our class bunny. *sends a pic with the teacher fumbling in the background*

Damian: He looks more intelligent than your teacher. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: *sends pic* Got bored and bought a frog. I'm naming him Toad.

Damian: I hope your life is as dull as ever. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: Tzu Tzu keeps leaving her laundry everywhere. *sends video of a snake shedding its skin*

Damian: You're her assistant. Do your job. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I finally got a hamster!! *sends video*

Damian: Now treat them like royalty and get yourself some tubing. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: Ideas for decorating my hermit crab's shell? For context his name is Juan and he likes the color yellow. *sends pic*

Damian: I suggest black and gold. 10/10.

———————

Stranger: I saw a turtle on my morning walk. *sends a pic*

Damian: Ethereal. 10/10.

———————

Bruce: *sends a family photo*

Damian: *blocks and reports*

[kittysarchive]

hello, hope ur having a good day!

was really wondering tho if u could maybe write maybe a short fic abt stepdad jake and his stepdaughter! i've been looking for stepdad jake fics but it's so hard to find any infact, and it's abit frustrating, so yes!

okay :)

warnings- smut, step incest?, step dad smut, dom jake, sub reader, fem reader, daddy kink

"Didn't know you were such a slut for me" Jake laughs as you spread out your legs for him. Hovering over your smaller body only makes you feel smaller.

Meekly nodding your head, you had no other reply for him. Scoffing at your pathetic and cute answer, Jakes soft fingers graze your clit.

"Already so wet for Daddy" He hums quietly. Clothes long discarded, he was ready for you.

"You gonna be a good girl for me?" You quickly nod your head, spreading your legs as far apart as they would go.

"Yes daddy" Smiling, he took his cock into his hand. Lighty jerking himself off, he got ready to enter you. Slowly and carefully, he entered your pussy.

"Doing so good for me" Jake praised, holding your waist before slowly thrusting his cock into you. Deep and slow, he felt how warm you were how tight you were, how wet you were for him.

"Please daddy, i need more of you" You beg, doe eyes pleading into his. Turning into putty above you, he couldn't say no. Pushing his hips back, he slams into your pussy.

Gripping his biceps, you bite your lip as he abuses your pussy. Growing wetter by the second, his cock is able to move easily.

"Love this pussy" He mutters above you, bending down more to get a taste of your lips. Allowing access, his tongue explores your mouth.

"Taste so fucking good" He groans, hips smacking against yours. Uncontrolled whines and moans escape your mouth.

"Feel good?" He mocks you, slowing down his pace to hear you clearly.

"Y-yes daddy....so good-" Your voice is cut off by Jakes hard thrust. Quickly continuing his fast pace, he gives you no other chances to reply to him.

"You feel so good baby" He sucks onto your neck, creating love marks down to your collar bone. Hips never stopping, never stopping the bruises that were forming on you own hips.

"I'm gonna cum" Cock slipping in and out of your pussy, it's thrusts were no longer deep. A few seconds go by before Jake harshly pulls out of your cunt. Gripping his cock, his seed spews onto your chest.

"You felt to good baby" You catch your own breath as his white seed warms your body up. You definitely were going to do this again.

[sinsandsweetness]

Wellllllll…… I just read one Rec from someone and holy. Stepdad Rick isn’t my thing but still hot. I was thinking what if it was Shane instead. Or Daryl. Sneaking around behind Rick’s back. But ugh, Rick is so hot tho. Decisions decisions. More like Dad’s best friend maybe?

now that’s hot as hell. Idk who Dad would be but best friend trope could work for any combination possible I would think… (all of them!? 🙈 short of a orgy, I can’t see either Dixon putting up with Shane even for something like that but hey)

been thinking about this every hour since it appeared in my inbox… (Shane is my guilty pleasure fr. would let him do disgusting things to me)

I think I’m seeing your vision… lemme know what you think💗

PICK YOUR POISON

(Rick & Shane & Daryl x fem!reader)

warnings- 18+, smut, alcohol consumption, smoking, references of sex, multiple partners, the boys are kinda pervs but it’s ok cause ur legal and this is fiction <3 2.1k word count

You open the door to the garage and make your way down the stairs. Not even bothering to slip any shoes on. Your mom keeps the epoxy floors absolutely pristine, so there’s really no reason. Plus, your toenail polish is still a little tacky. Bright, bubble gum pink polish and a silver toe ring adorning your foot. The smell of liquor and smoke has filled the garage. Accompanied by the deep, rugged voices and dry laughs coming from your fathers closest friends.

“You know mom hates it when you smoke in the house.” You say all matter of fact, leaning up against the bar-tops, marble counter. You can feel your tank top strap slipping down your shoulder. But the animalistic looks coming from your dads three closest friends, force you to let it drop. To let them see.

Your father puts his cigarette out in the ash tray on the bar. Rolling his eyes at you. “Well good thing we’re in the garage then.”

You ignore his attitude.

“Mom needs you.”

“For what?”

“To drop her off at Cindy’s.”

He seems irritated. But all five of you can hear the rain. There’s no way any half decent husband should let his wife walk to her monthly book club meeting in this weather.

“Just- keep your mouth shut about the smokes. And grab everyone another drink. Make sure they don’t burn the place down while I’m gone.” You father jokes, ruffling up Daryl’s hair on his way to the door, grabbing his jacket and keys.

You wave an innocent goodbye as you watch him through the garage door windows, backing out of the driveway. Your mother in the passenger seat, smiling sweetly at you.

“Well… whatcha drinkin’?” You ask Rick, who’s sat in the middle. Glass empty, with a lone, melting ice cube clinking around in the bottom.

“Rum and coke.” He answers, licking his lips.

“Spiced?” You ask. A flirty smile playing on your face as you bite your bottom lip.

They’re all staring. Jaws clenched and breathing slowly.

You know what you’re doing. You can tell by the way they’re all looking at you. You can practically see the wheels turning in their brains.

They shouldn’t be thinking this way about their friends daughter. About their best friends little girl. Well… not so little anymore. You’d just turned 21. Hell, they were at the party. Giving you the exact same looks they’re giving you right now.

The ones they definitely shouldn’t be.

But they are.

They’re thinking about your thin, frilly, pyjama shorts, and how they can see the purple g string pulled up over your hips. How they can see your belly ring through the fabric of your tank top, and imagining what it would feel like against their lips as they kiss their way down your stomach. And you know they’re thinking about bending you over the bar counter and taking turns at fucking you until they hear the sound of your dads diesel pulling into the driveway. How you’d have to play pretend for your father, ignoring the fact that your panties are soaking through with three different men’s cum, and maybe even a mix of your own. The salty liquids threatening to drip down your inner thigh as you politely excuse yourself from the garage. Coming up with any bullshit excuse to go lay on your bed and rub your clit until you’re seeing stars. Imagining each of their faces in between your legs, spreading you open and eating you up.

You know they’re thinking it, because you are too. It’s the only thing you can think about in this moment, while pouring Rick a double spiced rum and coke. Taking a sip and then handing it him. Making sure your fingers touch.

When you turn to ask Shane what he wants, he gets up. Insisting that you won’t know how to make an old fashioned. You only just turned 21 after all. You probably haven’t even had one before.

But he’s wrong. They’re your dads favourite and you’d been making them for him since you were 16. But you didn’t tell Shane that. Instead you let him walk around the bar, come up behind you and press himself against your back. Letting a tiny gasp escape at the feeling of his, very hard, cock pressing into your bum. Pushing you even further against the counter. His chest is warm against you. And his hands are big and calloused as he guides your own, pouring the perfect amount of bitters, simple syrup and bourbon over a huge, king sized ice cube that he’d retrieved from the freezer.

Finally, taking a slice of orange, meticulously cut up and organized in little containers on the bar top. It was something your mother was always very fond of; organizing the liquors and the garnishes, ensuring that your father could host a proper poker night or barbecue. Or whatever the fuck they stayed up all night doing in their little man cave. Not knowing that you were upstairs, awake and playing with your favourite vibrator, listening to their rock music through your bedroom floor.

“And then you twist it, like this…” Shane’s lips are actually brushing your ear. And you don’t mean to, but your eyes flutter shut at the feeling. His free hand moves to your waist as he tosses the orange peel in the drink, lifting it up and bringing the cold glass to your lips.

“Try it.” He says. And though you can’t see him because he’s still behind you, you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You take a sip. A small one. Immediately scrunching your face at the two men still sitting across you. Their lips curl into an amused smile as they watch you swallow the amber liquid.

“Not my favourite.” You whisper as Shane leans back. Only for a second before he’s turned you around and trapped you once more, back to the bar this time.

“Well we did forget one thing,” He says, reaching over to a jar on the counter. Maraschino cherries. Your favourite.

“And I know how much you like these.” He teases, referring to all the cherries he caught you adding to your piña coladas at a neighbors pool party only a couple weeks ago.

He dips a single cherry in the drink. Taking it by the stem and lifting it to your mouth. You don’t hesitate in wrapping your lips around it. The bitter taste of the bourbon on the fruit doesn’t last long. A sweet, sugary syrup bleeds over your tastebuds as you bite into the cherry. And a moan manages to escape your throat. It’s quiet. You think maybe it was subtle enough to go unnoticed. But the smile on Shane’s lips and the dry laugh coming from behind you, tell you that it didn’t.

Shane is still pushed up against you, cock strained in his jeans and pressed right against your stomach. His hand gripping your hip and forcing you to stay against the counter. And the way he’s looking down at you. Fuck, the way they’re all looking at you. Watching you start to squirm under their gaze.

“It’s good.” You swallow. Trying to maintain a confident, big girl attitude. But truthfully, you just want them to peel your clothes off, and let you melt into their arms as you cum all over their cocks.

“Daryl’s drink is still empty, sweetheart.” Rick’s gravelly voice pulls you back.

“Right.”

Shane gives your hip one last squeeze before he walks back to his barstool. Next to Rick. They cheers quietly and sip on their drinks. Watching intently as you try to compose yourself.

“What’s your poison?” You turn to the last man, lighting what was probably his second or third cigarette of the night. Glancing up at you and taking a draw. Slowly inhaling and exhaling. And though your mother was not a fan, you fucking loved it. You wanted to crawl onto his lap and have him blow the smoke right between your lips as you rode his cock, letting the other two men watch and touch themselves to the sight of you getting off on another guy.

But you didn’t.

“Just a beer, sunshine.” He pushes his empty glass forward for you. You grab it and put it in the dishwasher. Grabbing a brand new, frosted mug from the freezer.

“Which one?”

“Bud’s fine.”

You grab a bottle and skillfully pour it into the mug, coming around the bar this time to hand it to him. Intentionally placing yourself between him and Rick, reaching over and setting the glass in front of him.

To no one’s surprise, you feel a warm hand on the small of your back. Rick’s fingers tracing dangerously close to the thin band of your panties.

“Those are really bad for you, y’know.”

You get bold again. Stepping onto the foot rest of Rick’s barstool, and taking a seat right on his lap. The hand on your back only helping guide you on to him. Quickly finding its way around your waist as you make yourself comfortable.

Daryl only grunts. Hiding a smile at your silly comment. He’d seen you smoke. Hell, he’d snuck out of multiple dinner parties to have one with you.

“You gonna share?” You ask.

Hesitantly he hands it over, and you take it with two fingers. Taking a long drag in and then turning to face Rick again, before you slowly exhale. Trying to focus the smoke onto his lips more than anything.

“What the hell would your father think if he could see you right now?” Shane asks, leaning back in his chair and palming the hard on, still evident in his jeans.

“Think he’d probably try and beat you’re asses.” You say. And while you’re answering Shane, your focus is solely on Rick. The scruff on his face. His bright blue eyes, taunting you and begging you to lean in. Just an inch closer so that he can catch your lips.

“Think he’d win?” Rick asks, glancing down at your own lips.

“Not a chance.” You smile.

He closes the space between you, and you taste rum on the tongue that traces yours. Rick’s hand going to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as you blindly try to put the cigarette out on the ashtray. You start to move. Trying to maneuver your position so that you’d have a leg on either side of him, straddling his very apparent bulge. But right as you start to moan against his mouth, you hear the truck pull up and park. Practically jumping off of Rick and standing in between him and Daryl’s barstools. Fixing your hair as the heat rises to your cheeks. The men chuckle at your flustered appearance. Waiting for their friend to enter through the side door of the garage.

“Hi dad.” You say, smiling politely and pulling your tank top down to cover the strip of skin visible where it had previously rode up.

“Hey, hun. Glad to see they weren’t too much trouble for ya.” You father aproaches and slaps a hand on Shane’s back. Sitting down next to him and grabbing the pack of smokes from his jacket pocket.

“Y’wannanother drink, daddy?” You ask. Daryl clears his throat. And you see Ricks eyes go wide as Shane tries to hide his smile.

“Please. Old fashioned, darling. Y’want some of that pink stuff we found last week? Bubbly… something or other. It’s in the fridge.”

You watch Shane the whole time that you make the old fashioned. Clearly showing him that you knew exactly how your dad liked it. Carefully placing the cocktail on the counter in front of them.

“Thanks doll.” Your dad says, continuing to smoke his cigarette. Reaching over the counter and handing one to Rick who lights it. Watching you the whole time. Tendrils of smoke, floating up to the ceiling of the garage. You turn around. Bending over and being sure to stay searching for the bottle of rosé about thirty seconds longer than you really needed to. You pour a glass as the men discuss what the next move was. What they should do for the night. Considering it’s still a work night, and they all have a supply run pretty early in the morning.

“You wanna play some cards, sweetie?” Your dad asks. You scrunch your nose at him, taking a nice long sip of your sparkling wine.

“What? You got somewhere better to be?” Shane teases.

You huff a semi-annoyed breath, looking around for a spare stool. Even though you already knew there were only 4. Ricks eyes glimmer as he pats his left thigh, inviting you back on.

To your surprise, your dad pays you no mind, already starting to shuffle the deck of cards as you hesitantly take your seat back on top of Rick. Loving the way his hand curls around your thighs and tugs you even further on top of him. And the the way that Shane looks a little jealous that he hadn’t offered first. And you’re especially loving the way Daryl shifts on his stool just the tiniest bit closer, so that his leg grazes yours every now and then.

“All right, here’s the rules…” You hear your dad starts to explain, already dealing you each some cards. But you don’t hear him. You don’t even look in his direction. You’re way too focused on the taste of Rick that lingers on your lips, and the way your clit is actually fucking pulsing. Begging for attention. And truthfully, your mind can’t help but wander, thinking about what might have happened if your dad had taken any longer to get back home.

part 2

-

(I’m picturing readers dad as Tobin in Alexandria. Someone like that at least. With a Carol-esque mother. But picture whoever you’d like! Just thought I’d share what I was kinda thinking…)

taglist - @rickswh0r3 @elnyrae @catt-leya @murder-jacket @miinbun @ankhmutes @eternalrose81 @cl0wnb0yyy @grimesthinker

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

IS THERE A VERSION OF JOEL MILLER I WOULDN'T FUCK?

[a case study in how thirsty i am for this man.] [aka fic recommendations]

Unfortunately, in my extensive research on this topic, I have found some pretty damning evidence against my sanity.

dad's best friend!joel miller x fem!reader

Your Summer Dream [masterlist] by @swiftispunk It is a scientific fact that if you place Joel Miller on a beach he becomes 100x hotter. I don't make the rules, I just report them.

Creep it Real! by @swiftispunk I am a puddle. I melted and I'm a shallow pathetic puddle. Cowboy and Angel. I just hnnnnnggggg. I need him to ruin me pls dear god.

*I'm realizing if i include all the DBF!JM i read this will get very long, very quickly, and i think i have revealed enough of myself on this blog to highlight my very obvious daddy issues

**speaking of daddy issues...

stepdad!joel miller x fem!reader

Don't Be Cute, Be Nasty by @cockslutpadalecki i'm pretty sure this was the first stepdad!joel miller anything i read and it awoke something in my soul. it's always fun to reach new levels of my daddy issues and BY GOD was this just 🫠

Bad Girl [part i of many] by @seventeenpins he walks in on her while she's watching stepdaddy porn and good lord it gets filthier and filthier in the best kind of way.

boyfriend's dad!joel miller x fem!reader

Lost in the Dark [masterlist] by @iamasaddie i expected to be a slut reading this but then it made me an emotional slut out of nowhere i am obsessed. there is nothing i love more than being drawn in by my thots only to be hit by an emotional bus out of nowhere.

Thigh's Out AU [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity not only is this a boyfriend's dad AU, but said boyfriend's dad is a hot and slutty. just like i like my dilfs.

father-in-law!joel miller x fem!reader

Pink [masterlist] by @netherfeildren holy fuck. that's all. just holy fuck. this altered my genetic makeup.

Help, I'm Stuck! by @nosesitter spoiler alert: he takes her wedding ring off before dicking her down and I-- 👀 send help.

***i didn't think i had a lot of significant other's father!joel miller in my repertoire, but i had to stop myself again from listing them all on this one otherwise we'd be here all day. shit, i'm learning things about myself 🤡

dark therapist!joel miller x fem!reader

Session 1 by @elvinaa i think this only highlights how badly i need an actual therapist (as does this entire list actually).

sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader

Meet Me in the Back (1) & The Night is Dark Enough ... (2) written by @atticrissfinch It does not bode well for me that this version of Joel Miller made me so fucking feral. In no way, shape, nor form should a sleazy gas station clerk make me feel this way AND YET HERE WE ARE.

tattoo artist!joel miller x fem!reader

Honeyed [masterlist] by @softlyspector This one absolutely hits too close to home for me, but that's probably why I'm so obsessed with it. My touch adverse yet touch starved ass ate this up and left no crumbs😌

chiro!joel miller x fem!reader

Say Yes to Heaven by @pascalisbaby i thought the medical side of my brain would cringe at the doctor/patient dynamic but as it turns out my depravity knows no bounds 🥵

frat dad!joel miller x fem!reader

The Old College Try by @proxima-writes i didn't even know this was something i needed in my life until it came into my life. blessings🙏🏼

ceo!joel miller x fem!reader

Sex on Fire [masterlist] by @macfrog i don't think i need to harp on what that sugar daddy vibes do to me🤤

mafia!joel miller x fem!reader

Divine Dynasty by @cavillscurls Remember when I said putting Joel by a body of water makes him 100x hotter? The same applies to a Mafia AU. I can't explain it. I have no sound reasoning to support my claim other than "he hot tho".

pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader

I Know it When I See it [masterlist] by @bageldaddy 🔥🔥🔥 that is all.

maintenance man!joel miller x fem!reader

Maintenance Man [masterlist] by @gracieispunk toolbelt. say less.

slasher!joel miller x fem!reader

Slasher [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity i thought for sure, FOR SURE, this would be blind, pure, detached smut that i could enjoy with no emotional ties whatsoever. and then all of a sudden i'm feeling things??? he just loves his mom so much😭 mama's boy wants to be happy. JAIL. real jail for murderer joel miller. horny jail for me. and audacity jail for toxic b/c how dare you make me feel things for a serial killer😩

as i said previously, the evidence speaks for itself. i have yet to find a version of joel miller i could not immediately fuck. i'm actually planning (i have a lot of plans and no time smh), to go through all these on my recommendation blog w/play by play commentary so everyone can know just how unhinged i am for this guy.

but now!! you guys have a syllabus for my insanity!!

now, excuse me while i go find a therapist (a real one, not a hot/dark joel miller version of one) (although beggars can't be choosers right?👀)

dividers by @saradika

[wyldthots]

Mommy Teaches Me Something New

This work has sexual content. If you are a minor, please do not interact. If your blog does not have an age, you will be blocked. Don't like it, don't read it.

TW: noncon, fauxcest, mommy!dom, somno

It was a school night, so I went to bed early. I knew I wouldn't see either mommy or my stepdad Josh until after school tomorrow, so I went to bed in a big T-shirt and panties. Usually, I'm a pretty deep sleeper, but tonight, I felt like I couldn't get into a good enough sleep cycle.

I feel myself slowly being pulled to the surface of slumber with a chill across my skin. Weird, I usually sleep with lots of blankets on and rarely get cold... I finally break through my REM cycle and can feel familiar hands running over my legs, hips, and up my stomach. Trailing up to my breasts and tweaking my nipples.

I gasp and moan out for her. "Ohhhh, mommy." My voice was raspy and quiet from sleep. She shushes me between kisses scattered across my skin.

"Baby, I know it's late. I didn't want to wake you up, but Mommy has a favor to ask..."

Mommy inches her way up my body until we are face to face. I absolutely love kissing mommy. So messy and wet. I just woke up but, I'm breathing like I just ran a marathon. She's teasing me and I know it, but I can't help but try to lick at her. The tip of my tongue brushes her pouty lips softly, and I can feel her smile. I reach up and caress the back of her neck and give in to my desires as I lick inside her open mouth. Our tongues roll and dance around one another until I finally suck on her tongue like I did her strapon last week. Mommy finally breaks away from my devouring kiss.

"You have gotten so good at that, baby. I'm so glad we are on the same page. Josh tried to have fun with Mommy tonight, but all I could think about was you. You know how Mommy made you feel good when we had the house to ourselves? I need you to learn how to make your mommy feel that way."

The whole time she is speaking, I can hear her shuffling and stripping herself of her pajamas. The room is dark, but I nod like she could see me. Mommy wouldn't take "no" for an answer anyway... I feel her shift so that she has a knee on either side of my body as she starts to move up my body. She stops and sits on my chest. I can feel her bare, hot, wet core against my skin.

"Mommy's gonna sit on your face. And you're going to make out with my pussy all messy like you like to do. Okay, baby?" She started moving up my body even higher until her knees were on either side of my head.

I was so excited to help Mommy out and make her feel good that I wrapped my arms around her thick, warm thighs and dove right in. Mommy had never had me lick her pussy before, but since we started playing I have watched a lot of videos of other girls doing this sort of thing. I traced her lips with the tip of my tongue and flicked at her clit. I knew I was doing something right because Mommy sighed and sank down even more on my mouth. I push my tongue on the seam of her pussy and trace it until her lips spread and I could taste her wetness. She was always so sweet after she had me lick her fingers or her strap, but tonight it tastes a little different. More sour. and a little thicker than her usual slick...

"Ooohhh... Lick it, baby. Clean up Mommy with your tongue. Daddy left you a present..." She started humping onto my mouth more and grabbed my hair to tilt my head back. We usually don't talk about my mom's husband, Josh, but tonight she seems to be talking about him a lot... I don't know how he could have left me a present tho...

I pushed it to the back of my mind as I pushed my tongue into her tight, warm hole. Mommy groaned at the intrusion and her breathing got heavy the way it does when she feels good. I reach one hand up to play with her nipples and the other grabs her hip to help her use my face. The more I trusted my tongue into her, the more I got that weird taste from her. She almost tasted salty...

I move my tongue up and find her clit before I finally sucked on her gently. I gave Mommy attention to her clit like she did to mine on her day off. We had so much fun together... She makes a little whimper in her throat and tugged on my hair. I went back to fucking her pussy with my tongue. I am kind of struggling to breath, because Mommy has stopped holding herself off my face but I know it'll be worth it once she comes.

Mommy starts grinding on my face faster and faster with louder moans. One of her hands forces mine to continue cupping her breast and tweaking her nipple. It is getting harder to force my tongue into her tight pussy as I feel her spasm around me. I know this is what she sounds like when she comes. I have listened at her bedroom door more times to count. I shove myself deeper and massage that perfect spot inside her until she froze in ecstasy.

I kept giving Mommy little kitten licks until she finally pushed herself off me and collapsed into bed on her back. I wasn't quite done so I rolled onto my front and started kissing, licking, and sucking on my Mommy's breasts. She caresses my head and thanks me.

"That was exactly what Mommy needed. Josh was so greedy in bed tonight. He doesn't make mommy feel the way I make you feel in our fun times... But little does he know, I got you." She kissed the top of my head and pushed me away, gently. I can see her outline in the dark room move off the bed and look for her pajamas.

"Go back to sleep, baby. You have to be up for school in a few short hours."

My heart sank at the realization that Mommy wasn't staying with me. In my dark room, alone, I realize that Mommy has me... but do I have her? And in Mommy's dark room, Josh is thinking about the conversation and sounds he heard coming from under my door when he went to get a glass of water...

[fandomnerd9602]

First Kiss

Stepsister!Wanda x Reader (Teen AU)

High school. It’s rough for you. On the downside, you have to deal with grades, social circles and the constant reminder of the crushing loneliness that first love creates. But on the bright side, you got an amazing stepdad Django Maximoff, and a cute and quirky stepsister Wanda Maximoff.

It was just after home room. You were feeling happy as could be. Your plan was to ask out Carol Danvers, Captain of the school’s volleyball team. You had practiced in the mirror and even asked Django for advice. He was more than happy to oblige.

You walked to your second period class with a pep in your step. You sat next to her and you seemed to have a good vibe between you and her. And then you turned the corner and stopped dead in your tracks.

Carol was standing there she was kissing James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes and then she turned and kissed Valkyrie.

“Bye babes” she said with a wink. Your heart shattered. Luckily she didn’t notice you. Or maybe it was unlucky. You didn’t know. Your head was spinning.

“Y/N!” Wanda called out to you with a smile. She didn’t quite grasp what was wrong with you. She gave you a gentle shake. “You okay?”

“I-I don’t know” you just walked into class and sat down wordlessly next to Carol. And for the first time, you didn’t care.

The rest of the school day was a blur. You went from school to your own bedroom in an almost zombie like state. You felt absolutely alone and helpless. Your high school crush had a girlfriend…and a boyfriend.

You just curled up on your bed and just buried your head in your pillow in sheer embarrassment. You felt as embarrassed as the numerous times that you found yourself staring just a little too long at your step sister. In truth, Wanda was the one you truly loved.

Her kindness, her humor, her beauty, everything about her drove you crazy with love. But she was your step sister. You had hoped that if you focused on another girl your age, maybe you’d somehow focus your affections on her rather than Wanda.

But even that didn’t work because the only other girl you liked was part of a throuple.

You just buried your head in your pillow and grunted in embarrassment. And then came a soft knock at your door.

“Go away” you mumbled. “Nursing a broken heart in here”

“You sound like a dying moose” Wanda spoke up from behind the door. You couldn’t help but smile.

Wanda entered a second later with a cup of tea for you. “You okay, Y/N?”

“I don’t know if you saw it but Carol…she’s uhh…”

“I saw that…” Wanda huffed, “she can’t really make up her mind. Just pick one and be faithful”

“I’m never gonna find love” you mumbled before taking a sip.

“I’m sure Pietro would tell you the same.” She giggled.

“How’s your mom and Pietro doing?” You inquired.

“Malibu’s fine for them. I miss my bratok tho” she sighed. “But I know Pietro would love hanging out with you.”

“Life’s weird, Wanda.” You stated Esther pitifully. “I haven’t had my first kiss yet”

“Neither have I” she smirked, “although few have tried. No one can conquer the witch!”

Wanda throws her hands in the air and faked conjuring up some kind of magic. You couldn’t help but laugh. And then she laughed along with you. It just felt right being there with her.

You stared at her. She stared at you. A small blush made its way across her face.

“Y-you know,” she gently moved a stray strand of hair away from her face, “what if we…oh forget it”

“What?”

“What if we were..each other’s first kiss?” She found herself trying to hide her embarrassed face.

“Really?” You asked.

“Y-yeah. I want my first kiss to be with someone I trust. And I trust you” she explained.

“O-okay” you managed to say. Your heart was beating out of your chest.

The two of you just looked at each other for a split second before you broke the silence, “do you want me to lean in or-?”

“I-I’ll lean in” Wanda chimed in. She let out a nervous giggle before she leaned in.

You found yourself leaning in and then it happened. Your lips touched hers. So soft. So tender. The faint scent of strawberries permeated her skin. You could feel a sense of warmth and love take over your entire body.

Wanda pulled back. How you just wanted to take a hold of her and kiss her again. You could kiss her countless times and you sweared it would never be enough.

“That was…” she blushed, “wow”

“Y-yeah” you giggled. “T-thank you”

“What are step siblings for?” She smiled and turned to leave. “I’ll see you for dinner”

And with that she turned and left. You collapsed against your bed in an absolute state of bliss.

Years later your now wife Wanda told you that she did the exact same thing too.

Tags: @lifespectator @ma1egamer @aloneodi @holiday-house-of-m @family-house-of-m @konstantin609 @revanshand @russianredassassin @scarletquake-n7 @supercorpdanbeau @pinklawyerwinnerzonk @jacenradio7

[adaelines]

your ghost fics are so divine, i just binge read them all gaaaaahhhh!!! i died!!

what’s your thoughts on price tho? he’s like the daddiest daddy to ever daddied this world. 😩

i can imagine him as stepdad, so incorruptible and infallible as a captain yet suddenly a weak daddy to his baby girl. please help, i might combust 🤯🫠🫠

YESSSS I LOVE PRICE SO MUCH!! I've written about him before but not as stepdad and now its all I can think about :(

I think he's harder to crack than anyone else, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want you. he wants you so bad you're all he can think about, he just thinks himself a man of upmost loyalty, but when you're so pretty and constantly trying to get his attention, he doesn't last long

the only hints you're getting to him are the fact he's smoking more, his little trips to his office or the garden more common, and the way his loving smile occasionally slips into something more... primal. how could you ever resist him when he's so manly, so strong and handsome? it doesn't matter that he tries to resist, you know him too well to think he's not interested. and you know that more often that not, he spends his smoke breaks with his fist round his cock, thinking of you and everything he wants to do to you

it's not any better when he finally does give in, he's either so rough and dominant or the softest man alive. he loves you so much, often sex with him is him holding you close, kissing you deeply and pressing inside you slowly, whispering about how good you're being, how gorgeous you look spread around his cock

but when he's not, when he's taking complete control and taking you as he likes, he's rough, quick, and anything but kind. this is most often after teasing him, after days spent trying to get him to give in, you'll be bent over the nearest piece of furniture having your guts rearranged, strong hand covering your mouth to stop the loud moans you'll inevitably make. you have to be sneaky, but that doesn't change that he adores you, that he loves fucking you so hard that you're walking with a limp and have to come up with an excuse as to why

either way, he's the absolute best at aftercare, and is willing to spoil you with absolutely anything you want ♡

[sunniques]

ooh.. out of curiosity which svt manners do i think fit stepdad or stepbro…?

BYE THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE

SEUNGCHEOL - definitely fits both. personally, i think he fits stepdad more tho.

JEONGHAN - stepdad all the way. a mean, brat taming one.

JOSHUA - could be either. he definitely puts up the gentleman act only to be the nastiest, most depraved guy behind closed doors.

JUN - subby stepbrother who only wants to be a good boy for you.

HOSHI - your pervy stepbrother that’s way too needy for his own good.

WOOZI - stepbro who’s mean to you bc he wants to fuck you.

WONWOO - stepdad. the tsundere type that will do his best not to give into temptation only to go crazy once he does. lowkey sweet tho.

SEOKMIN - also see him in both roles. he would be the sweetest, most doting man in either situation.

MINGYU - cocky stepbro who actually turns out to be a loser munch.

MINGHAO - stepbrother that constantly teases you and riles you up.

SEUNGKWAN - subby stepdad who you have wrapped around your finger.

VERNON - stepbro who is terrible at hiding his attraction for you.

DINO - inexperienced stepbro who lets you use him as a personal fucktoy anytime you want.

[thegaybluejay]

Just for fun, here are my rapid fire rambling thoughts on the ATLA ships and platonic dynamics hehe (please don’t go full ship wars tho - these are just my opinions as a chill multishipper!)

My Favorite Ships:

• Zukka - My current brainrot and main ship!! I know they aren’t canon but I really love them and their potential okay😭I just feel like their personalities would work so well! Sokka would call Zuko on his shit and Zuko would be good at grounding Sokka when he needs it. Plus I have seen some absolutely breathtaking AUs with this ship! And fire-and-ice vibes except gay! Them <3

• Kataang - Cutiessss!! I love them! They may not be the ship I think about most often, but when I do think about them, they’re adorable! Aang is such a “my wife” guy and Katara absolutely adores him back! Also the last airbender x last southern waterbender dynamic goes HARD! I like that these two are canon!

• Yuetara - Listen I know they barely interacted but THEY’VE ACTUALLY GROWN ON ME SO MUCH LATELY AND I VERY HIGH KEY SHIP THEM! Something about like, Katara thinking about Yue when she bends is so😭Their story would be heartbreaking in the best way!! Sapphic noncanon blorbos <3

• Mailee - These two are SO cute and have so much potential rahhh!! Again, love some noncanon sapphics <3

• Batkoda - Super SUPER cute and silly and fun! The dads fr <3 Bato is either Katara and Sokka’s adopted uncle or their stepdad and I love it for them hehe! This usually pairs well with a “Hakoda adopts Zuko” AU lmao!

Other Canon/Relatively Popular Ships:

• Zutara - A good ship! I see the potential and tbh it’s very very fun to think about sometimes!!! However, some of y’all toxic Zutara stans need to leave my boy Aang alone lmao. Those who are chill tho, I rock with y’all!! Overall, I’m not opposed if it’s done well and I do sometimes seek out Zutara content! I personally do prefer writing them as found siblings tho, especially with the Azula and Katara parallels!!

• Sukka - Canon cuties!! I really like them! Suki my BELOVED <3 She’s so underrated!

• Yukka - Also canon cuties! They make me sad tho ahhhhh😭😭😭

• Maiko - Also ALSO canon cuties!! They have an interesting dynamic that I can really appreciate! And gotta love Mai <3

• Jinko - Jin my beloved! These two had a super cute dynamic during the one episode they had together lmaoooo, tho I don’t think about this ship too too often.

• Tokka - I don’t mind it if it’s them getting together as adults! But tbh I personally don’t prefer shipping them as teens and I think Toph’s crush was just a typical young girl crush on someone slightly older lol. Definitely not horrible and most Tokka shippers are relatively chill! I like to think Sokka sees Toph as a little sister tho.

Now For Some Of The Crackship-y/Less Popular Ships (based on ships I’ve actually seen):

• Zukki (Zuko/Sokka/Suki) - Power throuple fr and I love some polyamory!! While I mostly lean plain Zukka, this is extremely fun to think about and would be a great dynamic!

• Mai/Ty Lee/Suki - Saw this in a Zukka fic once and it was adorableeeeee! I may not have plans to actively write this or anything, but it’s cute! Another power throuple!

• Jetko - I don’t think they would be compatible long term, but by god they are very very fun to think about in a “Jet flirts with Zuko and Zuko is completely oblivious and they share one kiss before everything goes to shit” way lmao!

• Taang - I can respect it!! I will always love them as chaos siblings personally, but it’s a totally valid and chill ship!

• Katoph - Not a bad ship at all! I’ve only come across like one post tho lmao. Also I do think I heavily prefer them as found sisters, but that’s just me personally! Again, totally a valid and chill ship!

• Azutara - I’m very neutral on this lmao. I don’t despise it at all and it could be pretty interesting?? But tbh really not something I plan to seek out.

• Azulaang - I mean?? I’m also pretty neutral on this one. Aang would be kind to her if she was trying to get help but…idk lmao.

• Tyzula - I see the potential, but I personally think Mai and Ty Lee had a healthier and more interesting and more realistic dynamic. Just my preference tho!

(I think I just want Azula to be in therapy before I reallyyyyy ship her lmao, but NOT THE KIND OF “THERAPY” SHE WAS GIVEN IN THE COMICS)

• Zukaang - I don’t love this as a ship honestly. The canon age gap as teens is sketchy for my personal taste, tho I’ve seen people ship them in “Aang was 16 when he got frozen” AUs and that’s…better and I can get behind it a little! It would be interesting! But I think Roku being Zuko’s great-grandpa just still throws me off of this ship. I don’t have any beef with the shippers tho! I’m very “live and let live” and I have seen so much worse lol.

Can’t Forget My Fav Platonic Dynamics!

• Sokka and Aang - Two found brothers who share one idiot braincell when they interact LMAO! Love them always <3

• Sokka and Katara - The siblings ever!!

• Zuko and Aang - Enemies to found brothers!! Canon besties! I love their friendship and their parallels SO MUCH!!

• Toph and Katara - Absolutely ADORABLE as found sisters!!!! Love them!

• Zuko and Katara - I really like their development in a platonic sense and I think they’re very very fun and lovely found siblings by the end!!!! Zuko is 100% the brother that just “yeah my sister can and will whoop your ass” LMAO!

• Zuko and Toph - Also very found siblings in my head!! Only have a handful of solo interactions in canon but I DON’T CARE! I WILL FOUND FAMILY THEM ANYWAY! I’m a “Toph seeks out Zuko for sibling hugs/cuddles when she’s cold because he’s basically a space heater” truther.

• Uncle Iroh and the Gaang - Zuko needs to learn to share because that is ALL OF THEIR Uncle!!!

• Hakoda and Zuko - I thrive in this section of the fandom!! They have exactly one (1) frame together in canon, but I ADORE Dadkoda adopting Zuko! Something about it is just so wholesome and cute!!! My very very fav ATLA fics are this trope!!#LetHakodaBitchSlapOzaiAndAdoptZuko2024

• Uncle Iroh and Zuko - God they make me so ALSNDKSNXNCNSNSNXNX, y’know?

• The Gaang as a whole - Obvious I know, but I really do love them😭They all bonded sm and I adore their little family!! I eat up fanart of the Gaang cuddling like CANDY omg. And yes Suki is included in the Gaang because WHY WOULDN’T SHE BE!

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk. If you made it to the end, you get a big platonic kiss on the forehead MWAH!

[bardicious]

Hi friend do you have any Charles/Erik fic recommendations of a gentle variety? I watched the First Class era recently and am just….a lil broken up Re:: the pain of Charles losing his best friend and his sister at the same time… and then bottling up that pain for as long as he could until “you took her away and you left me!”

Okay, nonnie! I've got a few here that may interest you. Now, I'm a big fan of hurt/comfort fics, so I can't promise anything too gentle, unfortunately. 😅 (Most of my bookmarks are hella dark apparently) Anyway! Ill list you some I recently read, and mostly remember.

How Still My Love by Regann

"A mysterious sleeping disease, three loyal guardians, and a friend-turned-foe with unclear motives. It might sound like something out of a fairy tale but it's life after Cuba in the Xavier manor for what's left of the so-called X-Men. When Charles can no longer lead them, it's up to Hank, Alex and Sean to figure out a way to protect their mentor, especially once Erik comes seeking an audience. (Variously nicknamed "the Fairytale Fix-it," "Snow Charles and the Three Wishes," and "Alex feels via Charles/Erik." All three are pretty accurate.)"

This one I highly recommend, it's so cute, and the way the author played with fairy tales is fun. Fair warning tho, Erik doesn't stay at the end of this fic. But Charles' heart is a bit more mended.

Second Chances by justavagrant

This one is a time travel fic. Basically young child age Charles, Raven, and Erik replace their older counterparts. The kids build a close friendship real quick, and I believe it's ongoing.

Another Like Me by Ad_astrah

It's 1950, young Charles is getting his powers under control. He meets Erik, 19 years old, who's tracking down Nazis and killing them. They go on a little adventure together.

Elpis by garrideb

Cute protective Erik, injured Charles. This fic is a treat!

Not Yet by GenuineSnoof

"AU - No Beach Divorce and no bullet, but Erik still didn't stay at the school for good. They have an established "with benefits" relationship."

Cold Hands, Warm Heart by pinkoptics

Cherik fic set in Genosha!

Idiot Control Now by cygnaut

"Hank screws something up in the lab and everyone's powers increase tenfold. Not knowing how to control them like this, they all try to cope and not kill each other by mistake while Hank tries to find a way to reverse the effects. Charles has a particularly hard time of it."

Come Together by blarfkey

Series of fics, from Peter's point of view. Decent amounts of Cherik.

Peter's Stepdad by nzeedee

"Peter takes his time to observe and learn more about Erik as he works up the courage to make a family connection. Soon he realizes that Charles is a valuable asset in Erik's life and they may come as a unified pair."

AND some honorable mentions:

First Class Era:

5 Ways Logan Fixed Everything (Like a Boss) by Starlingthefool

Reverse Polarity by smilebackwards (powerswap fic, can't remember well tho)

What Not To Expect When You're Not Expecting It by thehoyden (mpreg, but if you're not into that, I'm not usually either, I think this one was done in a fun way)

DOFP:

A source of knowledge, a source of hope by redaurorarora

Post/Apocalypse: (these might be my favorite, I'm a sucker for comforting charles after apocalypse)

More by humanveil

things we lost in the fire by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps)

all the things i thought I knew (I'm learning again) by spacenarwhal

Hope you like these, nonnie! Sorry if they couldn't be more gentle! I do hope they're more satisfying than the end of FC. 💀 I know your pain.