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#also live footage of me at ikea
weird-an · 5 months
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And he's supposed to be the "normal one"…
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bright-and-burning · 8 months
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bored at work time means stupid questions how do you feel about ikea and costco and or regional massive warehouse store of ur choice
omg!!! thank u for sending a question this has interrupted my bored scrolling and made my DAY
i don’t think i’ve ever been inside a costco tbh (not a regional thing but a not-a-member thing lol) BUT
this one house of my friends in college were costco members and also you know. early 20s men. so they were insaaaane w it. like bought a bajillion squishmallows and a tv too big for the stand they had (so then they went back and bought a new stand) like i just feel like you must walk into costco and be possessed by the spirit of shiny things
i LOVE ikea tho. the closest one to me in my hometown was like. 2-3hrs away? so i’ve only been like twice but im OBSESSED. the ROOOOOOMS it makes me so happy it’s like . people watching almost but the reverse? where u just get to wander through these show rooms that are set up SO hyperspecific and imagine the kind of ppl who live there… i also love that they give you the theoretical square footage of the “home” idk it’s so fun it’s like . i would go to this kids’ museum when i was younger that had a whole mini grocery store where you could pretend to shop and pretend to be a cashier and there was like plastic versions of all the foods. and it feels like the more grown up version of that. also i love interior design i looove furniture (my mom ran an antique store for like most of my life) it’s just the perfect letting my imagination run wild store. also my parents would go on dates there when they were broke ass grad students in the 90s bc the meatballs were like . a dollar or whatever . (they also got married the first time JUST to get a cheaper apartment so. u kno)
the largest like candy warehouse store in i wanna say america??? was like . within an hour of my hometown. idk the vibes are so fun honestly i love a big place you can get lost in that has like . stuff for sale that you never imagined anyone needing . or at least not needing in bulk or whatever
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breesays · 1 year
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You guys, I did JUMPING JACKS in my apartment today. JUMPING JACKS.
This new place makes the old place seem like a bad starter boyfriend. Everything was mini - the stove, the dishwasher. Creaks and leaks. Bigger than our Los Feliz place but not better. The garage always smelled like pee because there were puppy breeders on the other side of the patio. We put a basketball hoop out there for Des but couldn't handle the stink, so we never spent time there. I know that was not necessarily in the management's control, but it speaks to the neighborhood. Also some of our friendliest neighbors moved out suddenly because management wouldn't address a mold problem. I don't know, maybe MANAGEMENT doesn't even know there are better buildings, better ways?
I did enjoy the direct view of Wisdom Tree, and our excellent cat-sitting neighbors.
The other day Des got the urge to dance to "Skip to My Lou" and he raced around the living room and I was filled with that remnant anxiety - but as I watched him dance so hard he was sweating and no one banged on the ceiling at us and the world kept on spinning, it dissipated. It was so great to see him just DO what his body told him to do and not have to reign it in.
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In the old place we hung a tapestry with leaves on it - in this place we keep our blinds open to the trees all the time, and I meditated in the afternoon surrounded by sun dappled light.
I feel insulated here, safe. Desmond has pointed out that there are multiple sprinklers in the ceiling space. This building was well thought out.
I don't know how much bigger it actually is, square footage-wise, but it's at least 9 Manduka yoga mats bigger. That's an acceptable form of measurement, right?
And to think I thought we HAD to move to a ground floor unit. I looked at so many with low light and felt so depressed. The one I wanted second-most, for its space, had a fake-grass yard. They wanted to charge $70 a month for pet rent, on top of a $500 pet deposit. And we would've had to share 8 washers and driers with 100 units.
I know a house is like, the ultimate freedom. But this is a good landing place for now. I just wish we would've picked this place in 2021 instead of the Cahuenga one. But, struggle making a skilled sailor and all that.
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There's so much closet space (two, one on each side of the room) that the IKEA wardrobe I've brought with me is filled entirely with workout and hiking gear. Pinterested me FLIPS OUT over that.
I have a show tomorrow, one I didn't think would ever happen again, so I better get to my beauty sleep.
If you want to come over and dance-slide in your socks let me know, there's space.
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prorevenge · 4 years
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An entitled man tries to skip a 1.5h long queue and threatens me, I make sure he gets arrested.
Sorry for the post being so long (Tl;Dr at the end). Also English is not my first language, so sorry if I mix something up.
This happened to me a month ago.
A little backstory: This year I graduated high school and got accepted to a good uni in the capital. My girlfriend, my friend from middle school and I (we all study in the capital) moved into a small apartment that was property of friend's parents. One day me and Girlfriend decided to go to a shopping mall to get some kitchen stuff (a spatula, a grater, etc.) and buy ourselves city cards (basically a card that lets you use all of the city transit: buses, trams and subway). We chose a specific mall which had both a city transit office and a small IKEA.
When we arrived the queue to said office was massive (at least an hour of waiting) and so we decided that I'll wait in the line while Girlfriend does shopping. After half an hour, Girlfriend comes back and we still have to wait at least another 30 minutes. Fifteen minutes later and we are fourth in line. Then Entitled Man (an average 40-something balding male) comes onto the scene. He notices the queue, (I already knew we wasn't having it by the look on his face) and simply stands in front of Assertive Woman who is the first in the line. We had at least 1-meter long gaps between each other due to covid, and he just stands there like it's nothing.
The Assertive Woman calmly asks him to go to the end of line to which he replied, "I just have one thing I need to pick up, it won't take longer than 5 minutes." A small argument between the two continued for a while and it ended up with the lady gaining back her first spot in the line and Entitled Man occupying the second spot. Now, standing behind Entitled Man was Shy Man. He tried to get in front of Entitled Man but just couldn't do so. After Entitled Man started being aggressive, Shy Man backed out.
Seeing that Shy Man was not able to stand his ground, I decided to give him a helping hand. I came close to Entitled Man and started a conversation that went somewhere along these lines: "Excuse me Sir, there is a line here, please respect others and move to the end of the line." "No, It'll be three to five minutes and I'm gone, what do you not understand?" "Sir, do you not realise everyone in this line is waiting for a five minute service? I was standing here for forty minutes and I doubt it will take longer than five minutes for me as well." "I don't care, I've got shit to do." Then, he faces away from me, so I come right in front of his face. "So, you just come here not giving a fuck, waiting for an opportunity to skip the fucking line?" "Yes. Fuck off." He faces away from me once again. At this point I knew conversation was going nowhere so I just stood in front of him, being the 1st in the line now.
"So now you are skipping too you little shit?" I didn't reply and just waited for Assertive Woman to finish her business. When she finishes me and Entitled Man literally race to the counter. I won and said to the lady behind the counter, "Excuse me, this man is skipping the line and is generally disrespectful to others. Could you please not service him?" The worker nods and asks who is next in the line, to which I point at Shy Man. Then I came back to my spot in line where Girlfriend was standing. Entitled Man tried his luck skipping the line once more. Thankfully, the worker knew what was the right thing to do and ignored Entitled Man like he wasn't even there.
Entitled Man realised his defeat, looked at me and said, "See you outside you little shit", and gave me a middle finger. I won, it felt so good sending that guy home with nothing, but after a little while I realised he might be serious with the "see you outside". I actually felt scared for a second, as a 177cm, 75kg guy (5"10' , 165lbs for fellow Americans). I'm not much of a fighter to say the least.
Looking for a way to protect myself and my girlfriend, I went and bought a little pepper spray (legal to carry it without any permission where I live) as well as notified a guard that a man had told me he will be waiting for me outside, possibly to hurt me. I made my way to the exit with the guard following me, unlocked the pepper spray in my pocket. If Entitled Man really wanted to settle this, I was ready. I exited the building, the guard stayed inside but was watching me through the glass doors. Lo and behold, Entitled Man is standing around the corner, with his cap on, approaching me.
I was so frightened that I couldn't think straight. With my right hand already grasping the pepper spray I took it out and sprayed him. Entitled Man started screaming in pain and tried to retreat. I yelled at Girlfriend to stay away and then proceeded to spray some more for good measure, but this time I was spraying his hoodie so it didn't do much. Next thing I notice, the guard is tackling Entitled Man to the ground and calling for support over his walkie talkie. He also ordered me stay where I was.
After what felt like an eternity, three other guards come out of the mall. Two of them help strangle Entitled Man, who was refusing to forfeit, and one of them asks me to come with him. We were taken to the guards' office, police was called. By that point Entitled Man had surrendered; he was sitting restrained in cuffs. The police arrived extremely quickly - less than five minutes - and questioned the guards, examining both my and Entitled Man's ID cards. They went on to review surveillance footage, came back and told me they would no longer need my assistance. One officer also warned me that if I'm threatened again I should call the police in the first place and that I'm not exactly allowed to pepper spray people who haven't even touched me. I agreed, thanked them, and left the room. I then called my girlfriend because she was nowhere to be seen. It turns out she went to the toilet. As I was waiting for her, Entitled Man comes out of the guards room, handcuffed, with two police officers grasping each of his arms and leading him outside. Oh man, did that sight put a smile on my face.
I then went on with my day.
Tl;Dr : A guy tries to skip a 1.5h long queue in the mall, I don't let him, he threatens to hurt me when I come outside but I come outside ready for him, with pepper spray and a guard by my side. I Pepper spray his ass when he approaches me, police comes and arrests him afterwards.
(source) story by (/u/SpoderVapson)
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sisterkosho · 3 years
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Modern!AU Headcanons | Geto Family
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Credits: Y'all know the drill. Ayume art in the header by @hiikkups on Instagram. Go follow her. 🔫👁👄👁
Warnings: None today. Just some modern shenanigans for your reading pleasure.
Notes: Y'all also know the other drill. I procrastinate and don't write Ayume's bio, and y'all get some random fic/HC post because I gotta keep y'all fed somehow. With that being said, here's some modern HCs for the SuguYume fam while I work on the Discord, because we were talking about it again last night and it's honestly one of my favorites + another coping mechanism so yEET--
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It all started when Ayume Nejireta Geto moved in next door with her husband and two children.
What could possibly go wrong?
Turns out, their elderly neighbor, Rui, was none to thrilled about their house having been built on top of one of her flower gardens. Despite it happening decades before they even arrived there.
Grandma holds a grudge ok.
Thankfully, she didn't scare them off like she did any of the previous families who had lived there.
You get used to her after awhile.
The one person she happened to take a liking to was Satoru of all people, who she met during one of the family's backyard BBQs. Which are always a mess btw, needless to say.
She even made cookies for him.
Ayume and Suguru were extremely confused because of this. How did he manage to get on her good side?
"She never gives us cookies, wth."
Turns out he had been flirting with her. Big surprise.
Though in his own defense, you'd never guess Rui was a grandma just by looking at her. The neighborhood is convinced she's immortal and doesn't age.
Ever since that day, Satoru made it a point to stop by Rui's whenever he's visiting. Just because he knows flattery will get him free food.
He's rarely allowed to visit specifically for that reason. Well, that and the fact that he's just a bad influence on the girls and everyone knows it.
Then again, the family friend, Juno, isn't much better.
He somehow got ahold of the spare key, and will randomly just let himself in.
They once woke up at 3 A.M because they heard rummaging around coming from the kitchen.
Suguru instinctively grabbed a bat and went to go switch on the lights.
Only to find Juno eating out of their trash like a raccoon.
This lead to the girls new favorite excuse.
"Juno ate my homework."
We don't talk about the time he brought a rock over claiming it was his son.
Sometimes they question why they still associate with him, but still let him stick around for whatever reason.
At the very least, he's intimidated by Ayume. So he doesn't cause too much trouble.
The family has a wide array of strange decorations in their home. Most of which they don't even recall buying.
Such as the weird plant in their dining room that sorta looks like it has a face...
There's also the model volcano the girls made for a school project.
For some reason, they had stuck one singular googly eye on it and named it "Jogo".
Ayume and Suguru were understandably a bit concerned, but It's fine as long as you don't make eye contact with it.
Ayume runs a little Etsy shop where she sells stickers she made. Along with some other little aesthetic items like pins.
For designs inspired by various curses, they're surprisingly cute.
The girls like to help her make some of the designs from time to time.
Since it's more of a hobby than an actual job, she always makes sure the money earned from the things they helped with are spent on them.
Shopping trips tend to be the most chaotic.
And that's not even considering the encounters they have with Mahito. The hobo that tends to hang around the entrance.
We don't talk about him.
Somehow, the trips always lead to Ayume running around while pushing the girls on the shopping cart.
Suguru always ends up having to chase after them because plz they're gonna get hurt--
Heaven forbid they run into Rui somewhere along the line, because it only gets 10x worse. She offers to push the cart and ends up almost knocking down every shelf and person in sight.
There was one instance where she ran right over Satoru.
After all that, Ayume and the girls end up making Suguru push them around in one of those carts with the seats on them for the rest of the trip because their legs got tired from running around.
They eventually end up getting kicked out.
Suguru sometimes has to wonder what he's doing here.
"How? How do you get us kicked out of WALMART?"
"Beats me. Hey, let's go to Ikea next!"
They are currently banned from 3 different Walmarts, two Ikeas and a McDonald's.
The McDonald's was from the time Satoru had come to visit and got stuck in the play place.
Suguru had to climb up there to try and get him out, but also got stuck.
Turns out, Rui had gotten stuck before they even got there. Which they only learned after hearing a faint "So. You too huh?" from the the next tunnel over.
In the end, they ended up having to call the fire department to get these two grown men and one grandma out of the play place.
It was on the local news and everything.
The footage had been provided by Nanako, who had recorded the entire incident while Ayume and Mimiko giggled hysterically.
You better believe they were never able to live it down.
After that nightmare, Suguru had tried to make dinner but ended up setting off the smoke alarm.
All he was trying to do was put a frozen pizza in the oven...
Needless to say, it was a rough day for everyone.
Date nights for the couple are rare and reserved for special occasions. Mainly because they hardly trust anyone to babysit.
Rui doesn't seem to understand the concept of children, and it would be a cold day in hell before they'd ever ask Satoru.
But sometimes, they manage to convince Kento.
He's the only one they find trustworthy enough for the job. Because although the girls find him a little boring and strict at times, he's the only responsible person they know.
At least with him, they can rest assured that the house will still be standing by the time they get back.
And on the plus side, the girls love Yu. Because let's face it, he's the fun uncle. So when Kento makes it a point to bring him along, there's always plenty of fun to be had.
Even if it feels like he's stuck babysitting 3 kids instead of 2 at times...
In case it wasn't already obvious, they're one of the most chaotic families in the whole neighborhood.
But that's what makes them interesting, so they somehow manage remain on good terms with everyone.
If one thing is for certain, it's that there's never a dull moment when it comes to the Geto family.
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violetsystems · 3 years
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#personal
I was invited the other day to join a community as a Creative Advisor from a survey I filled out for Adobe.  I made the choice last November to purchase Creative Cloud for an entire year at a discount.  When I worked at an art school I had all those applications free.  Anybody in the arts community will tell you that software is expensive.  I don’t necessarily feel too connected to the local arts community these days.  But being a Creative Advisor basically means I participate in focus groups and offer my opinions in writing.  It’s a not a bad way to stay active as a creator.  I bought a drone basically so I had 4k footage to mess around with in Premiere.  I am a YouTube Creator by definition.  Yesterday after posting a video of the stream there was another survey in the right hand corner.  I cautiously opened it and read through it.  It was an inclusion survey.  YouTube wanted information to help with their community.  The first question was what race I identify as.  I can’t really argue I’m not white.  The next question was if I identified as part of the LGBTQ community.  I don’t so I answered no.  The third question was what gender I identified as.  I said male because I’m cis.  I completed the survey and went on about my business.  A few minutes later another popup asked me how satisfied I was with the YouTube community after all this.  I answered Very Satisfied and closed the window.  I’m also part of a larger community here in Chicago.  This can be drilled down so far that you can find yourself standing in a lonely circle with a thousand fingers pointed back at you.  My immediate neighbors identify.  I wouldn’t know what specifically or why so I don’t ever really pry.  I live on a pretty diverse property when it comes to tenants.  That expands into a pretty diverse neighborhood with a pretty diverse set of issues when it comes to power sharing.  I live the mad max sort of mentality these days.  Think more Fury Road than Road Warrior.  Where he helps out then silently fades away to focus on his own car wreck of a life.  One winter while shoveling snow I discovered somebody had written something in front of one of my neighbor’s doorstep.  It said “gay people live here.”  I processed it, shrugged and shoveled it away.  I couldn’t tell if my landlord was supposed to discover it, if my neighbors actually wrote it, or if it was somebody being hateful.  I made a judgement call on the account of safety and made a mental note of it then made it disappear.  I cared enough to think about it no matter how much this entire process exhausts me.  People join communities for connection.  People seek out authentic communities for safety, pride and respect.  And people in America should be able to do this freely without being exploited, judged, watched, or compared.  Communities overlap and the geopolitics therein get a little tricky.  When you live in a city with so many different influences, cultures, and hang ups the fog of the ideological war muddles up everyone’s intentions.  I think we retreat to the sanctity of our own communities because they understand the narrative and context best.  I’ve been welcomed into many communities that aren’t my own.  But my circle is pretty small these days.  Mostly because for all the care and attention I apply to the concept of community, I’m often left out to fend for myself here in my bachelor Castle of Doom.  Communities do consolidate power for better or for worse.  Just like rich people hoard money and dodge taxes.  Communities have their own cultural queues and signifiers.  Communities in America have increasingly become more like tribes in the economic desert.  Impenetrable communes at war with myopic definitions and hidden rules that are meant to keep people out for resource sake.  So much so that the Road Warrior doesn’t seem like science fiction to me from personal experience.  
It was the great poet Lord Humungus who may have set it best.  Just walk away.  Safe passage in the wasteland they said.  Be your own boss.  Own your sexuality and answer for your horny crimes.  Shit, I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to where I belong in all of this.  For me things have become equally obfuscated and easy to understand at the same time.  I’m more of an anarchist these days than I would like to admit.  I don’t really want to be on Tucker Carlson’s radar.  Simply because everyone is looking for something to label you as so they can pass an easier judgement on you.  People want you to identify so they can fit you into whatever conversational hole they wish to project at you.  I run into my neighbors all the time.  I treat people like people.  Simply because I’ve been treated enough like shit to know I don’t want anyone else to experience that.  I don’t really want revenge.  I want all this nonsense to stop getting in the way of my pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.  And the constant arguing and debate team every step of the way is troubling.  It’s people with a beaten down sense of self confidence proving themselves in the arena of mob rule.  For all the chest beating online on twitter or facebook people are kind of shook in the streets.  It is a winner take all mentality.  And even the more valid sides of the fight have taken to dirty tactics leaving some of us in the middle of an absolute shit show.  Par for the course if you ask me.  There are plenty of opportunities to be the hero these days.  Not many to be acknowledged as one.  You can be you and still support people that think differently.  I had a dream about guns last night.  I don’t own a gun.  That’s not the right choice for a person like me.  It doesn’t mean I can make a sweeping generalization for the rest of America.  Neither do I actually care to.  I’m cis.  I don’t spend my time psychoanalyzing or judging gender or sexuality other than my own biases towards it.  This is to treat people better and learn respectful communication.  Communication is a two way street.  And some communication is blocked, obfuscated or hidden for it’s own protection.  It can also be self serving.  Some of my closest friends are behind infinite onion layers of identities.  Layers of firewalls that I pirouette through like a whirling dervish just to show I still care deeply.  We take the time to show love.  We take the time to understand the obstacles.  And we have patience to understand that we have to sacrifice things sometimes for the sake of change.  Make no mistake the way I see things on my own is fucked.  I am part of a community here on Tumblr.  A much wider community.  There are times when I don’t fit in.  When it’s not about me or you or whoever behind the screen.  It’s what we connect to and how we learn to respect each other as human beings first.  Not as names.  Or fame.  Who we really are behind all of this doesn’t really matter as much as the content and ideas we share.  Community has it’s own memory and it’s own duty to hold things sacred.  Some larger communities do a totally shitty job of understanding the needs of their ideological neighbors.  And passion, pride, and lack of patience can burn bridges more quickly than building them.  There are times when you realize you are part of a community that doesn’t honor your identity at the core.  Sometimes it’s worse.  You find you aren’t welcome in a community for whatever reason.  If you are an abuser this is a safety issue and not really up for argument or discussion.  But sometimes its far less deserving.  And it’s a game of musical chairs to understand where you fit in and where you aren’t welcome.  For me I’m part Swedish and also a minimalist in nature.  Just look at Ikea and my habit of rearranging furniture.  I grew more inward this year in terms of who I trust.  Now it’s just me and a small percentage of screen names that might be owned by the same person or people.  I identify them as my closest friends.  
The thing about community I’ve learned over the years is that it can always be infiltrated.  Trust can always be broken.  We find we don’t belong to the bigger picture because motives are out of place.  We long to just be normal and accepted for that.  It’s exhausting to have to identify every time you walk out the door.  I identify as human.  Mostly I identify as Tim.  Freedom in America is best summed up by a quote by my favorite person in the world.  She’s from China.  She said once she loved New York because it was the only place where she felt free to cry in public without anybody prying into why.  I’m paraphrasing.  But that shit has stuck with me like a knife for years.  That isn’t what America is about right now.  It’s almost like it’s looking for victims.  Looking for signs of weakness to trick into a confidence game.  It’s a setup on every corner.  A prank waiting to happen.  A constant obstacle to your main quest.  And this isn’t what America is about.  At least not the way I live it.  I don’t think I solve the situation with more policing.  I don’t think I solve it by doing anything other than continuing to live free. The challenge here in America is constantly evolving as it is around the world.  America’s idea of free isn’t always well thought out.  It’s riddled with paradoxes.  And yet this is all I really have.  I’ve seen enough people stalking me in the streets with shirts emblazoned with messages.  Freedom isn’t free.  Penetrate the world.  Blue lives matter.  Make seven up yours.  I’ve made statements too and found myself more and more alone.  And then I’ve started to realize geographically what’s worth fighting for.  I’m tied to an address.  That’s the address where the government sends my ballots and rejects my state taxes at.  That’s the address where the utilities are in my name and I pay my rent on time.  Sometimes even a month ahead.  I’m fiscally responsible for once in my life.  I’ve conquered years of societal glue that held me to mediocre and half assed standards.  I’m a diamond in the rough except I’m not really all the rough.  I’ve stood up for people who aren’t like me so much that I feel more isolated and weird every day.  And I learn that sometimes it’s better to shy away from places where you aren’t welcome than to make a scene.  I am stuck in my little hole here.  If the answer were getting out there and networking, I’d ask people to look at my passport.  It’s not good enough for the state to acknowledge as proof of my identity.  But I spent a lot of money going back and forth to Asia trying to do just that.  And I paid off all that debt awhile ago.  I know the world is bigger than me.  And I believe sometimes people think they’ve travelled the world in their computer.  They’re the authority on everything.  And here is the problem with freedom in America.  The authority isn’t always right.  This is why we seek out communities.  For democracy.  For peer review.  To have our narrative understood and respected.  And we need communities to be more about democracy and less about autocratic reactions to a zero sum game.  I think it’s okay to not be part of something you don’t belong.  And I also think it’s okay to respect people’s wishes to seek out where they do.  But we have to learn to live together in America despite of this.  And well this would require us as Americans to really look the beast in the eye.  And doing that alone is scary.  I should know.  I do it every day.  So much so that I’m literally not fucking around with much of anything other than what’s easy enough to read.  Even when it’s easy to read it doesn’t mean it’s done in earnest.  I can only really worry about the things I hold intimate and secret.  The creative culture I’ve salvaged with my bare hands.  I really don’t care if you don’t get who I am.  But I want you to know I care about the world being free.  At least for the people I care about.  If you ever catch yourself crying in public just remember I’m right there over your shoulder cheering you on.  I’ll fight for your right to cry about it and scare off anybody who interferes.  That’s just who I am and nobody will know or even acknowledge me by name.  Sometimes I do feel like a ghost.  I’m not trying to walk through walls people set up for protection.  But I will break down the barriers people put up to keep us from living together.  <3 Tim
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ill-skillsgard · 5 years
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The Crimson Cross - Bill Skarsgard
Title: The Crimson Cross
Characters: Bill Skarsgard x ambiguous fem OC
Warning: 18+ horror themes/religious themes
Note: Happy October! I have lots of fun Halloween events planned this year! I wrote this last year as part of my Halloween Special Fic Prompt Challenge. I have since rewritten it and here it is once more! This was based on a few great reader prompts sent in last year! Patreon subscribers got early access to this fic during the month of Smutember! Enjoy!
"I'll stay. I'll stay. You'll be safe. I promise. I'll keep you safe."
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"What's this camera for?" I asked.
I watched him set up one last camera on the granite island in the middle of my kitchen. He fastened it to a small, bendable tripod and pointed the lens right at where I was sitting on an Ikea barstool.
"This one is going to be your journal camera, see?" He pointed to a label on the side of it that said journal cam #1. "I would like for you to record some entries with this. Feel free to take it into another room if you want to, although there is good lighting in here. It's just so I can keep a log of everything; including how you feel each day at any given time. You don't have to be thorough with it. Even just a minute or two each day to say how you feel and if you experience any changes. Anything at all. Even if you just want to vent. Whatever you like."
 He turned on the camera and circled to where I was seated. "This is case number seventy-five. The day is October third, two-thousand eighteen. Day one of recording. Now, please state your name and age, and if you could confirm that today is October the third."
 I did as I was told and spoke directly into the camera. I felt a crack of nervousness erupt over my face, but Bill assured me that once I got used to the cameras, it would become second nature. He brought several bags of equipment including a small black leather briefcase that contained various religious relics pressed neatly into red velour slots. There was a place for a small glass decanter of holy water, a crucifix, a rosary, and a bible. When I gazed upon the items in his briefcase, the reality seemed far too stark again.
 "You don't look like a priest," I commented.
 "That's because I'm not a priest. I'm a demonologist."
 "But the church sent you."
 "Yes. I work very closely with the church in town."
 "That must be an interesting career choice. Demonologist? Did you always aspire to become one?"
 Bill's lips pressed together like he was withholding a dark confession and then, with a sigh, he gave voice to what he needed to say to satiate my curiosity. "I wouldn't say I volunteered for this job. It's not something I dreamed of as a kid or anything- exorcising demons and whatnot. I'd say I was chosen for it by a higher power."
 "So you are religious?"
 His eyes settled on me gravely. For a moment, I thought maybe I had offended him, but he sighed and shook his head slowly. "I know there's good in the world and evil. I want to be on the right side when the day of reckoning comes, you know? I'm not a devout Christian, but ma'am, I have seen some things that would make you think twice about what exists beyond this Earthly realm."
 Then it was my turn to grimace with displeasure, for I knew far too well that there were forces of malicious intent. Of course, nobody believed me when I told them that I was being tormented by a spirit that seemed to harbour an abhorrence for me. Several anomalies had occurred that I could not give an explanation to and when I told my close friends and relatives they all had their different theories at the ready, none of them comforting.
 "You must have been sleep-walking."
 "There's always some explanation for those types of things."
 "Maybe it was somebody just playing a prank?"
 "I don't believe in ghosts. I especially don't believe in demons! Come on... It could have been a tremor. They're more common than you'd think!"
 I knew it was none of those things. Not when every mirror in my house had been smashed out, including the tiny circular mirror in my makeup compact. Any reflective surface that I had ever looked at myself in had shattered. At first, I thought maybe it was a slight earthquake overnight, but the more I thought about it, the less sense it made. Why would every mirror break and not every glass picture frame? Why would the china teacups in my kitchen remain unscathed? How could it be that the windows remained intact?
 Then one night I heard the voice. It started as a low hum that barely roused me from my slumber but soon climbed octaves until it pierced my eardrums and violently ripped me from sleep. I sat up in bed and listened hard. My friends blamed the sound on Tinnitus, but I had thwarted that theory by going to see a doctor who told me that my hearing was just fine. The sound grew and grew until I couldn't take it, and the moment I covered my ears and closed my eyes, my new bedroom mirror shattered like thin ice.
 Something was angry with me, and I didn't know what to do. That was when I sought help from the church. I hadn't set foot inside a church for nearly two decades, but I was desperate for answers. So desperate that I set aside my morals, bit the bullet and admitted that a spirit was tormenting me. The priest I spoke to didn't question me or suggest that perhaps I needed to see a psychologist. He believed me immediately and referred me directly to Bill; the resident demonologist who lived in the outskirts of town.
 The entire process seemed too easy, and before I knew it, Bill had come to my house to survey the scene, set up cameras and to smear every room with holy water while I waited outside for him to finish up. I stood on the front lawn in my boots and a denim jacket to keep me warm in the brisk morning of early Autumn. He was in there for nearly an hour after setting everything up and came out with all of his bags and the small briefcase containing his religious talismans. 
 He grinned politely at me as he approached, trudging through the damp grass and newly fallen leaves to where I was standing with my arms crossed over my chest.
 "I left my card next to the journal camera in case you need to call me. I'm usually available at any time but if you miss me, leave me a message, and I'll get back to you."
 "All right. Well, I'm very grateful for everything. I wasn't expecting to find help so easily."
 "I understand what it's like to be in this type of situation. Most people try to rationalize or tack on any number of explanations until it becomes too late."
 "Too late?"
 Bill shifted uncomfortably from side to side. He wore a long black wool coat and leather gloves that squeaked when he adjusted his grip on the briefcase handle. "There's a reason why the church has hired me. Cases like these have reached an all-time high. I don't want to scare you though so I'll spare you the details."
 "No... Please. I want to know," I urged.
 "Let's say the last case I had, number seventy-four... They waited too long to contact anybody. There was," Bill sighed, his breath turning to vapour in the fresh air. "There was an accident. It's still under investigation. I can't exactly say what it was because I still don't know myself. All I can say is that it was good of you to reach out as soon as you did. The success rate of banishment is higher in the early stages."
 "Early stages?"
 "I could talk for hours about each case and how it differs from the last. No two have been the same, so I don't want to worry you. Honestly. You will be fine."
 "No offence, but nothing you are saying to me is providing any comfort. Am I going to die? Does this spirit want me dead?"
 "This is why I don't like answering too many questions. It's like looking up your symptoms online. You're going to settle on the first drastic theory that you are in danger and it will consume you. I want you to maintain a clear head. This always works better if you're able to stay level. It's harder to penetrate a strong mind than a weak one, and you don't strike me as weak-minded."
 The strange compliment made me smirk, but I remained shaken to the core from everything that had transpired. Bill set down the duffle bag he had brought that housed his camera equipment and stuck out his gloved hand for me to shake.
 "Like I said... If you need anything at all, my card is on your counter. You can call text or e-mail me. Whatever you like. I'll be back in a week to go over the footage and to assess the house again. Oh. Also, don't be alarmed when you see your bedroom door. It's just a precaution."
 Bill nodded curtly, picked up the duffle bag and left after loading it all into the trunk of his car. I saw him off with a wave, and once he pulled out and drove away, I made my way back inside.
 There was a camera installed in each room of the house and one pointing down the hallway. When I went upstairs, I stopped abruptly and gazed down the hall at a crude red cross painted on my bedroom door. I scoffed as I approached it, shocked but not entirely surprised to see it. Bill had painted a huge red cross on my door. The closer I got, the quicker it became evident that he hadn't used regular paint to mark it. The cross drawn in blood dribbled down towards the floor, drying in some spots and still wet in others. With the tip of my index finger, I touched the right arm of the cross and rubbed it over my thumb. When I smelled it, my gut churned from the acrid stench of some pitiful beast's blood.
 ~*~
 "So this is the first morning that I am recording... I guess this is my journal. Bill told me to say how I'm feeling, how the night went, whether I experienced any changes or not and I have to say that despite there being a huge, bloody red cross on my bedroom door, I slept like a baby! No noises. No broken glass or windows. Just nightmares of Bill slathering God knows whose blood on my newly painted door. So thank you for that, Bill. That is truly disgusting," I laughed.
 "Today I'm going out for a while into town to pick up some groceries and things, probably going to go to the gym. Just boring everyday stuff, I guess I'll let you know about it tomorrow when I make my next entry. Um, goodbye, I guess?"
 The day went on as normal as any other day. I completed all of my errands, and when I got home, I made myself dinner and sat down to watch TV. After all of the stress, I tried to take my mind off the cameras pointed at me. It was strange to know but easy to forget after a while.
 A soft dusting of fuzz came over the TV screen and then flickered back to normal. I waited for it to happen again and when it didn't, I shook my head. Then it happened again, quicker this time. The interference skewed the image of the popular talk-show host, and the sound blipped.
 "Goodbye, I guess?"
 I put down my phone and looked behind me. 
 "Goodbye, I guess?" It repeated.
 Whipping around, I looked back into the kitchen instinctively to see if something was amiss. The television went grey and fuzzy, but I could still see the images from the show I was watching only the sound was off, and I swore I heard my voice.
 "Huge, bloody red cross. Goodbye."
 The plunge my heart took nearly stole my breath, and I jumped up on the couch as though the ground was going to swallow me whole.
 "Is this a joke?" I called out.
 Scrambling from the couch, I went to the corner of the living room to peer at the camera mounted to the ceiling. "If this is some joke, I am seriously not laughing! Why would you fuck with me like this?"
 I knew that nobody was playing a joke on me, and the ringing of terror shook my insides and threatened to make bile rise from my stomach. 
 "Huge, bloody red cross. Huge, bloody red cross. HUGE BLOODY RED CROSS!" The words boomed through the speakers of my surround sound system until the television turned itself off with an electric crackle, leaving me in a silence that was just as horrific as the words that screamed at me.
 I ran to the kitchen and found Bill's card to dial his number as quickly as my fingers would allow. I had to backspace several times because I couldn't type the numbers correctly with hands shaking. When I finally had it, I pressed send and held the phone up to my ear, quietly begging for Bill to answer. It was late, and I half expected to get his voicemail, but he picked up, and I let out the breath clenched up in my lungs.
 "Hello?"
 "Bill! It's me. Please. Something is happening. I'm scared."
 "What? What is happening?"
 "I don't know! I don't know!" I yelled. "My voice... My voice started playing on the TV!"
 "What do you mean?"
 "I don't know! Please! I don't know. I can't be here. Please, you have to fix this."
 "No, don't leave. Do not leave the house. Don't bend to its will. You have to remain there."
 "I can't!" I began to cry. "I'm scared. It was yelling... Shrieking! I don't know how it had my voice, but it was my voice, and it was repeating what I said this morning!"
 Bill grunted tiredly. Any other time I would have felt terrible for calling somebody so late, but I was terrified of what would happen if I remained alone in my house.
 "Listen to me. Stay where you are. Do not leave! I'm on my way over right now. I'll be there in a few minutes."
 He hung up the phone, and I stared blankly at the screen until it timed out and went black. As I waited, I turned on every light in the house and stood in the middle of my kitchen with a chef's knife in hand. I knew it was silly but having a weapon with me made me feel slightly safer, especially when the kitchen lights started flickering.
 "Get out of my house, whatever you are! Spirit... Demon... You are not welcome here!" I yelled.
 The light fixture above the kitchen island quivered with protest, and I cowered up against a wall, shielding my face with my arm, knife still poised in my hand. 
 "Get out! You don't belong here! Go fuck with somebody else!"
 The television turned on again only it didn't come back to the channel I had been watching. Instead, it was a feed of me sitting at the kitchen island, looking into the journal camera with a stupid grin on my bare face.
 "Huge, bloody red cross... Just nightmares. Goodbye, I guess. Just nightmares. Nightmares. Bloody red cross. Blood. Goodbye."
 "STOP! STOP IT!" I screamed.
 "Bloody red. Nightmares. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bloody red cross."
 The video played over on a loop until the screen went grey and sparkled with fuzz-- the image of me distorting and the sound of my voice coming out lower and louder than before.
 "BLOODY RED, BLOODY RED, BLOODY RED!"
 I couldn't take the torture anymore. I ran into the living room, dropped to my knees hard enough to burn against the carpet and pulled the entire power bar from the outlet, effectively silencing the TV and all of the speakers it played through. Tears boiled in my eyes and I cried on the floor clutching the chef's knife in one hand and my chest with the other.
 The knock on my door made me yelp, and I swivelled my body around as Bill barged in through the front door. He was white as a ghost in the face, and when he found me on my knees next to the TV, he turned even paler.
 "Are you okay?" He approached, kneeling to grasp my shoulders.
 "I can't stay here," I blubbered through tears and snot.
 "Listen to me... Listen to me! Please. I know you're scared, but you have to stay right here."
 "I don't want to! Don't make me!"
 "I'll stay here with you if that's what it takes. However, you cannot flee."
 "I'm losing my mind."
 "You're not losing your mind. I promise. Hey... Hey! Look at me," Bill tipped my chin up and gazed upon my wet, contorted face.
 He wiped the tears from my cheeks with two thumbs but as soon as he did more salty hot liquid ran down to replace what he had just cleared away. Bill looked upon my face with pity and hugged me close. I whimpered into the collar of his shirt as he hushed me and began to rock me back and forth.
 "I'll stay. I'll stay. You'll be safe. I promise. I'll keep you safe."
 ~*~
 Bill tried to insist that I sleep in my bedroom and that he would sleep on the living room couch, but I could not be convinced to stay the night without the presence of another person in the house. After some arguing, we reached a verdict. I would sleep on the couch, and Bill would stay near me on the floor on top of a sleeping bag. I felt silly to have made a fully grown man sleep on the floor beside me, but without someone there, I would have never been able to close my eyes for more than what it took to blink.
 The next morning I woke up to the smell of coffee and cooking. I rose from the couch, no doubt looking frightful with my hair mussed and a night's worth of crust built up in the corners of my eyes.
 "Good morning," Bill said as he approached with a mug of steaming coffee.
 I accepted the mug with a gracious nod though I said nothing. Bill stood tall above me and watched as I took a small sip of the piping hot liquid, grimacing when I realized it was still far too warm to consume.
 "Easy there. I just made it," he warned after the fact.
 I went to set the mug down on the coffee table, but I soon realized that we had moved it to the other side of the room so that Bill could sleep parallel to me on the carpet. He watched as I struggled to keep hold of the scalding cup and simpered softly before taking it from my hands again. 
 "Here, I'll just put this back over here, and you can have it in a minute. Hope you don't mind I've taken the liberty of making breakfast. I'm one of those people that needs to eat right after waking up, and I didn't want to leave you. I also didn't want to wake you either."
 "That's okay," my voice cracked.
 "How are you feeling this morning?" He asked as though reminding me of the night's events was the last thing he wanted to do.
 I shrugged my shoulders, and one strap of my tank top came down with it. Bill's lips cocked for a moment, and he reached, plucked the strap and shifted it back into place. 
 "Well, why don't you go hop in the shower or do whatever it is you need to do in the morning, and by the time you finish up, breakfast should be ready."
 "Okay. Thanks," I whispered before clearing my throat. "Thanks for coming. I know you didn't have to."
 "Well... You're kind of my problem. You're my case. And I told you that you could call me at any time."
 "I know but... I don't know. I feel stupid."
 "Don't feel stupid. I'm here for you. As of right now, you're my main priority."
 I washed, dressed and towelled my damp hair before joining Bill in the kitchen again. He set down a plate of eggs, potatoes, and toast for me and I thanked him as genuinely as possible. It had been a long time since somebody had made me a meal, and when I watched him bustle around my kitchen, I felt ten times safer. Maybe it was his height or the positive way he walked, but I somehow felt like Bill was more than qualified enough to protect me. I didn't know hardly a thing about him except that his voice was comforting and having him there made me almost forget about the horrible night I'd had.
 After we finished eating and he took the dishes away, Bill turned on the journal camera much to my dismay.
 "Please... I don't want to. Not after last night," I shied away.
 "I need a log for my records. It's okay. You don't have to look into the lens. Just look at me instead. Pretend you're telling me. Pretend I'm your journal. Just ignore the camera."
 With a sigh, I relented and began to tell him how I felt about what had transpired the night before.
 "So last night, something freaky happened. I was watching TV, and suddenly a voice came over that didn't belong. It was my voice, but it sounded. I don't know. I can't quite describe it. All I can say is that it sounded off. It kept repeating to me what I had said in the morning during my first log. It kept saying bloody, red cross like it was angry with me or something. The TV started going fuzzy, and then the words just started booming over all the speakers. That's when I called Bill," I paused to nod at the man standing behind the camera. "He came over and, of course, as soon as he entered everything stopped. So I made him stay the night because I was scared as hell. Now here we are. Bill just made breakfast, and now we're sitting here enjoying our coffee."
 "Good, that's good," Bill said with a smile. "Anything else?"
 "Oh... Yeah, and I guess I feel a little bit better only because Bill is here. Honestly, If it weren't for him, I would have been ten counties over by now."
 "But we're going to stay here and fight on, aren't we?" Bill asked.
 I nodded before sipping my coffee again. "We're going to stay here and fight."
 "Because you promised me that you would stay, right?"
 Rolling my eyes, I laughed, "because I promised Bill that I wouldn't leave."
 When he powered down the camera, he looked at me with an uneasy smile. "Well, I guess I should get going. I have some things I need to do today-"
 "You're leaving?" I asked incredulously before shaking my head.
 Of course, he was leaving. It would have been foolish for me to think that he would drop everything to accompany me, but when I looked at him again, I didn't want to spend another night alone. The fear that I had felt so potently in my chest returned, and tears threatened to make another appearance down my cheeks.
 "Well, yeah. I don't have any clean clothes here, and I have some work to do."
 He saw how I bit my lip and worried with my fingers picking at the underside of my nails. 
 "I can come back after," he offered.
 "Would you? Oh. No. I shouldn't. I guess I shouldn't bother you again. Sorry. I know it's dumb of me to think-"
 "How about I come back later tonight to check up on you?"
 I nodded, relieved as could be. "Okay. That's... Good. That's fine."
 Bill smirked at me. "I'll bring an air mattress."
 Then it was my turn to smirk.
 ~*~
 Bill kept his promise and showed up at the door with a gym bag and a rolled-up air mattress. Greeting him at the door felt like the beginning of a fun sleepover, but I couldn't kid myself for long. He was there solely for my protection; even if we only make popcorn and chatted about things that were irrelevant to my case. We blew up the mattress, but it remained untouched as Bill sat beside me on the couch with a laptop open, going over some of the footage from the night before. I told him that I didn't want to look, but every once in awhile, I would peer over to see what he was doing.
 When he finished with his work, he folded his small laptop and stowed it away in the bag brought with him. I saw that he had a change of clothes and a couple of pairs of socks in the gym bag and suddenly felt terrible again for insisting he stay with me. After all, he was an adult with his own life and priorities, and I was nearly a stranger to him.
 "You don't have to stay the night again. I know it's not necessary."
 "Don't be silly. I told you a hundred times. It's fine. Plus, I would rather stay to make sure that you don't flee the country or something."
 "I won't."
 "I know but... Trust me. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. You're my top priority."
 "Do you even get paid to do this?" I asked him.
 "The church pays me, but like I said before... I didn't exactly volunteer myself to this cause. It's more of an obligation."
 "That doesn't sound pleasant at all," I said with a grimace.
 Bill sighed deeply and reached out to touch the back of my palm softly, "I can at least find solace in knowing I've helped those that cannot help themselves."
 When I thought that he would take his hand away, I was mistaken. Bill only moved closer to me on the couch and grasped my hand a tighter. I spread my fingers out, and he threaded his own through the spaces created. 
 "I know what it's like to be so afraid that you can't think straight," he said in a voice that bordered a whisper. "I want to keep you safe."
 "Thank you," I murmured.
 "You were put on my path for a reason. I know it. I was meant to protect you."
 "How do you know that?" I inquired.
 "Last night, before you called me... I was dreaming about you. I couldn't escape the feeling that I was meant to meet you. It was as though something was trying to tell me that you were in trouble and that I needed to go to you. Then you called, and that was all I needed to be convinced. I'm supposed to be here with you."
 Bill lifted my hand and brought the back of my palm to his lips. I shivered when he pressed a kiss to my skin, but I had never felt safer in my life.
 "We're going to battle this together."
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waltzofthewifi · 4 years
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Kota Chapter 12: A Nervous Wreck
Beginning | Table of Contents | Next
The next week was about as close to a normal life as Marinette ever got.
The Lila drama died down. Alya was still friendly with Lila, still giving her the benefit of the doubt, but there was a wariness to it too. When Lacy pointed out the class had almost excluded Marinette from an event, Alya and Nino spent the rest of the week making sure she was included in everything.
Akumas occurred almost twice a day, tiring the heroes out and forcing them to recruit allies more often than not. Alya was ecstatic to receive her miraculous again. Chat Noir was also starting to focus more, no longer bantering or flirting mid-battle as much as he used to.
"Moving my mouth takes too much energy," he complained one night after a four-akuma day, when Ladybug brought up his unnatural quietness.
Thankfully, Hawkmoth missed a day, and Marinette was able to catch up on sleep and her commissions (but not homework, which was still stressing her out). That night, she dreamed she was being eaten by piles of homework, while her parents scolded her for bad time management skills.
That morning, she overslept and barely made it to class in time.
The first thing Marinette noticed was how empty the class was.
"Where is everyone?" Marinette asked, sitting next to Nino.
"Akuma attack." Nino showed her his phone screen, which was streaming the Ladyblog. "Blocked half of the classes path to school. Been out there for about half an hour - still no sign of Ladybug."
"What?" How did she miss an akuma for that long?
"Don't worry, everyone's said in the group chat that they're safe," Mylene commented. "Well, at least I think so. It looks like Lacy might have fallen asleep mid text, and Adrien's didn't make much more sense."
"Alya's trying to film as much as she can," Nino added, his face tense. "I just hope she doesn't get too close."
"I hope Ladybug shows up soon," Alix complained from across the room. "I miss everyone. No offense to current company, or anything."
"I, uh, have to go- check on something-" Marinette muttered. "Be right back!"
She darted out the door, ramming into someone else as she did so.
"Juleka!" Marinette said. "I'm so sorry, I just have to - are you feeling okay?"
Juleka looked a little green, and she was grimacing, but she shook her head. "Just nerves."
"Oh, right, the modeling contest!" Marinette remembered. "When do results come out?"
"Today at lunch," Juleka whispered. She grimaced again.
"Here, why don't I take you down to the nurse?" Marinette said. "Maybe she knows some way to keep you calm before the results come out. It's not like we have class anyways - not with the akuma keeping half the school at home!"
"Thank you Marinette," Juleka said.
.
"Oh no you don't, Squabbie," Elisabeth said. "No falling back asleep on my watch."
Lacy blinked her eyes back open, noticing the footage on the TV screen hasn't changed much since before she closed her eyes.
"I'm not," Lacy argued. "I'm just bored."
She let her eyes flicker close again, wishing her parents would let her fall back asleep. The akuma rampaging down her street didn't look very close to being beaten, and if she could get a few more minutes of sleep...
The apartment shook violently, causing Lacy's stomach to jolt. So much for sleep.
"Looks like I'll have to cancel my next appointment too," her dad commented from where he was sitting at the dinner table.
Elisabeth frowned and checked her watch. "This one is definitely taking a while. And there's still no sign of Ladybug."
"She must live on the other side of Paris or something," Lacy figured.
"Or maybe she's just sleepy like you," Elisabeth teased, reaching from her chair to poke Lacy in the leg.
"You know, this would have been a perfect akuma for our literature test yesterday," Lacy said. "But no, he had to attack when we would have had a peaceful morning instead."
"As peaceful as class can be with Alix and Kim," her dad said, half under his breath.
Lacy chuckled. Her friends did make things interesting.
The TV screen changed suddenly, as the news reporter cheered loudly.
"- and Ladybug arrives at the scene!"
.
Ladybug could feel all of Paris looking at her right then.
The newscasters and videographers and bloggers following the battle all cheered when she landed, as did the civilians trapped around the akuma zone. Ladybug stayed where she landed for a moment, watching the battle raging on the street.
The akuma was large - maybe twice the height of Chat Noir with a thick build - and had chains attached to her hands. She wore all black, with a form-fitting leather jacket and black leggings, and had long, black hair that trailed behind her in a braid.
She raised her fist and slammed the chain down at Chat Noir. Chat Noir dodged effortlessly, and tremors shook were the chains landed.
Ladybug scanned the akuma again, not seeing a clear item that could hold the akuma. She would have to get closer.
She wrapped her yo-yo around a building and flew past the battle, landing next to Chat Noir.
"Sorry I'm late," Ladybug said.
"You're right on time," Chat Noir replied.
The akuma struck again, and Ladybug and Chat Noir bounded out of the way.
"Her name is Nervewrecker," Chat Noir reported. "I think she's one of the models participating in the contest that announces today. Her main powers are the chains and her heightened strength. Wherever the chains hit, powerful tremors follow."
Ladybug nodded. She had observed as much.
Nervewrecker struck again, forcing the two superheroes to dodge in opposite directions. Ladybug landed next to an apartment building, but Nervewrecker was already swinging her chains again. Ladybug bolted out of the way, and the chains swung into the apartment building. The tremors destroyed what little of the building wasn't affected by the original swing.
"We need to get her away from the civilians," Ladybug called.
Chat Noir landed next to her. "Exactly what I was thinking. The stadium?"
"You read my mind."
Moving together, Ladybug and Chat Noir launched themselves up onto the nearest rooftops. Ladybug swung her yo-yo to the nearest high point, Chat Noir extended his baton, and they soared towards the stadium.
They landed several blocks over, and Ladybug paused to check that Nervewrecker was following them.
"Looks like she's right behind us," Ladybug said. "Let's go."
Ladybug and Chat Noir bounded over another few blocks, landing only a few streets from the stadium. They paused, giving the akuma time to catch up with them.
"Any idea of where the akuma is?" Ladybug asked.
Chat Noir shook his head. "I was hoping you'd see something."
The ground shook, edging Ladybug and Chat Noir to continue on.
They landed on the edge of the stadium, and both jumped down into the center of the field.
"So she was akumatized from nerves from the contest, right?" Ladybug asked.
"From what I can gather," Chat Noir confirmed.
"Most akumas who are akumatized from nerves have some kind of a fidget or something related to the cause of the nerves as the akumatized object," Ladybug observed. "Like a bracelet they play with if they're nervous, or a letter or something they received from the contest."
"I didn't see anything like that," Chat Noir said.
"Me neither," Ladybug agreed. "But keep your eyes open."
Nervewrecker landed in the stadium with a boom.
"Hand over your miraculous," she commanded, flicking one of her chains. "And then leave me in peace."
"Hey, you're the one disturbing the peace," Ladybug argued.
Nervewrecker scowled, and raised a hand to strike.
Ladybug and Chat Noir dodged opposite ways.
"I don't see how this is helping with your nerves," Chat Noir commented.
"Oh, it's helping a lot," Nervewrecker replied. "I was shaking in anticipation, but now the whole world will." She struck again, forcing Chat Noir to dodge.
Ladybug watched, scanning Nervewrecker in search for the akumatized object.
Her attacks were one after the other, but as Ladybug watched, her right-handed attacks were more accurate than her left. And stronger.
"Chat Noir! Cataclysm the chains on her right hand!"
Chat Noir nodded briefly that he understood, before using his staff to launch himself over another swipe from Nervewrecker.
"Cataclysm!"
His hand brushed against Nervewrecker's right hand, and the chains turned to dust. She roared, trying to knock Chat Noir away, but he was already behind her.
Chat Noir landed in a roll and came up next to Ladybug.
"I think I saw a ring on her hand," Chat Noir commented.
Ladybug scowled. Rings were always hard to destroy.
"We're going to need something to break it without having to remove it from her hand," Ladybug commented. "Lucky Charm!"
A screwdriver fell in her hands.
"Looks like your Lucky charm might be from Ikea this time," Chat Noir commented.
Above them, news helicopters began to circle.
"Metal," Ladybug said. "We're going to need something large, and metal. Can you distract her for me?"
"Of course," Chat Noir replied.
Nervewrecker swung at the two superheroes, and they separated. Ladybug ran for the bleachers while Chat Noir began to taunt her.
She had to hunt for a few supplies, but eventually she found everything she needed. She quickly unscrewed several metal bleachers and attached them to each other with duct tape.
"Now, all I need is a ride," Ladybug thought. She sent her yo-yo straight up, tying it around the landing skids, and pulled herself up over the battle field.
The extra weight made the helicopter lean sideways suddenly, but Ladybug let got before it could crash. She fell straight down, guiding her contraception to Nervewreckers hand. She let go at the last moment, watching as the several pieces of heavy metal hit the ring, cracking it. A butterfly flew out
Still in free fall, Ladybug captured the akuma. A second later, she felt something slow her stop as Chat Noir reaches out for her, his baton extended in the air.
The two dropped down the field. Ladybug finished purifying the butterfly, watching as it flew away.
"Miraculous ladybug!"
.
Juleka approached Adrien almost the moment he got to school, looking like a nervous wreck.
"Any word?" Juleka asked.
Adrien shook his head. "But don't worry! You're application looked amazing. I'm sure you have a good chance at winning!"
The two headed into class, Adrien taking his seat next to Nino and Juleka hers by Rose.
"I really hope Juleka gets chosen for this contest," Adrien commented. "She definitely deserves it."
"Don't worry, dude," Nino replied. "You said it yourself - she has a great chance. And even if she doesn't win, didn't you say that several of your coworkers displayed interest in working with her anyways?"
"Yeah, you're right," Adrien agreed. "I guess her nerves are infectious."
"Sounds like she's not the only one," Alya said, leaning over towards the boys' desk. "Did you see the akuma this morning?"
"Nervewrecker?" Adrien asked. "Yeah, Nathalie wouldn't let me leave until she was defeated."
"I don't blame her," Alya said. "Did you see the damage she caused?"
Nino nodded. "Nathaniel said his entire apartment building got destroyed."
Marinette arrived and slipped into the seat next to Alya.
"Any word about the contest?" She asked.
"Not yet," Alya replied. "The anticipation is lethal."
Miss Bustier walked in soon after, quickly taking attendance.
"Looks like we're just waiting on Lila and Chloe," she noted.
"Wish it was always like that," Marinette muttered.
Her wish didn't last, though, and Chloe walked in seconds later.
"Miss Bustier," Chloe greeted. "I have something I want to tell the whole class."
Marinette groaned. "This will be fun."
"Marinette," Bustier admonished. "Let's listen to what Chloe has to say."
"Thank you," Chloe said.
"Would you maybe like to wait for Lila?" Bustier suggested.
Chloe made a face. "Ugh, no, not her."
"It's not nice-"
"I'm doing this now or never," Chloe interrupted. "I don't owe Rossi anything, but-" Chloe took a deep breath, glancing at Adrien.
Adrien has no clue what was going on, but Chloe needed reassurance, so he shot her a thumbs up.
"Okay, I'm just going to say it. I'm sorry."
.
Marinette had never, in her life, been so shocked.
"You're apologizing?" Alya blurted. "Should we be worried about an akuma? Is someone holding you for ransom?"
"No, Cesaire." Chloe took a deep breath. "I, Chloe Bourgeois, daughter of the mayor of Paris, of my own free will under no influence from akumas or Hawkmoth, formally apologize." She released the rest of her breath. "So, yeah, I'm sorry."
"What, why?"
Alya was obviously as blown away by this as Marinette was.
"Because of you," Chloe said. "You were right, Cesaire. Ladybug believed in me, that I could change, and I had done nothing to deserve that faith. But... I want to."
Marinette stared at Chloe, sure that she would take it all back. Or that an akuma was causing this. Or anything...
Anything but this.
This didn't make any sense.
At all.
Marinette dully noted that Alya's mouth was wide open.
"Thank you, Chloe," Bustier said. "That was well said, and I'm sure everyone accepts your apology."
That brought Marinette back to the present.
Did she accept Chloe's apology?
"We appreciate the sentiment, Chloe," Marinette finally said. "But actions speak louder than words."
Marinette thought back to the past week, trying to remember if she noticed any changes with Chloe since she had this supposed revelation.
And... nothing.
She hadn't noticed Chloe at all.
No akumas, no fusses, no big arguments, no nothing. Chloe hadn't terrorized anyone, spilled coffee on anyone's artwork, made fun of anything. In the morning, she gave a compliment - a real compliment - and kept to herself during the rest of the exercise.
She wasn't quiet, by any means, but her comments, while interruptive, hadn't been mean. No one had run out of room crying because of Chloe. Chloe hadn't run down Ladybug, demanding her miraculous or a photo.
Nothing.
"I think you've made an effort," Marinette finally decided.
"Yeah!" Alix agreed. "No akumas in the school for a whole week!"
"And you complimented my project yesterday," Rose added.
Most of the class nodded along, muttering about small things here and there. Alya was the only one not agreeing, but she still hadn't moved from the shock stage.
"I'm really proud of you, Chloe!" Adrien added.
Chloe blinked twice, turning a little red. "Th-Thanks. That means a lot."
Alya's mouth was still wide open as Chloe sat down, and Marinette leaned over it closed it for her.
Alya turned to Marinette. "Did that really happen?"
Marinette nodded. "I think it did."
"Oh, and another thing," Chloe said. "I heard from a very reliable source that the winner of the modeling contest is a student at our school."
"Did you hear that, Juleka?" Rose asked.
"Now, there's a lot of people in this school who applied, but," Chloe continued. "I think you have a good chance, Couffaine."
"There's definitely an akuma somewhere," Alya grumbled.
Marinette chuckled.
Adrien turned back to them. "This is actually a lot like how she was when we were younger. I knew she could still be nice."
"But she needed a good friend to push her along," Marinette said. "What you and Alya said to her - it must have finally hit her that she needed to change."
"And Ladybug, of course," Alya added.
"Ladybug inspires all of us to be better," Adrien agreed.
"Well said, dude," Nino added.
Marinette felt herself redden at the compliments, and hoped no one would wonder why.
Her good mood was ruined instantly when Lila entered, looking overly pleased with herself.
"You look happy, girl," Alya noted.
"I am," Lila confirmed, sitting next to Adrien. "All thanks to Adrien here."
Adrien looked very baffled.
"Adrien's such a good friend," Mylene commented. "I'm sure whatever he did for you was really nice!"
Marinette was sure that whatever he supposedly did, Adrien actually had no part in.
"Oh it was!" Lila agreed.
"What was it?" Rose questioned.
"Oh, I shouldn't tell," Lila said. "After all, it's not confirmed or anything. Not yet."
Marinette's stomach lurched. There was no way she had managed that, was there?
Adrien still looked completely baffled. Across the room, Marinette saw Lacy chewing her lip nervously.
Not good not good not good not g-
"Tell us!" Kim replied. "The anticipation is killing us."
"Okay, fine, fine." Lila flipped her hair back over her shoulder. "He promised he'd help me win that big modeling contest!"
The whole room went dead.
This time, it was Nino's turn to look completely baffled. Alya gave Lila a look Marinette couldn't parse, Chloe huffed, and Lacy hid her face in her hands.
"W-What?" Rose asked.
"Since when did you want to be a model?" Alix questioned.
Ivan shot Adrien a glare, and Adrien, for his part, looked pissed.
"No I didn't," Adrien ground out. "Lie about yourself all you want, but don't drag me into this."
"Lila that's great," Bustier said, completely oblivious. "And Adrien, that was sweet of you!"
"Yeah," Ivan snarled.
"I didn't," Adrien repeated.
"Oh, and he's so humble about it too," Lila continued.
"Lila, just shut up," Marinette said.
"I'm very confused," Nino stated.
Bustier glanced around the classroom, beginning to deduce that something was amiss. Lila's eyes were growing wide as she realized the class wasn't responding as she hoped.
Marinette opened her mouth to say something - explain why Lila was lying, without putting Juleka on the spot - but before she could speak, Juleka darted out of the classroom.
Marinette only hesitated a moment before following behind her.
.
One of the first things Marinette had learned about Juleka was that she had a favorite bathroom. Usually, when Juleka was upset, she would hide in the bathroom until either Marinette or Rose would talk her down.
This time, Juleka barely made it to the stairs, and Marinette knew it was bad.
Marinette stopped right behind her, and so did the two students who had also followed her out of the room.
Adrien let out an uncharacteristic curse, startling Juleka a little.
"That definitely wasn't cool of her," Rose agreed. She moved towards Juleka and sat next to her.
Marinette sat down on the other side of Juleka, and Adrien sat behind her.
Juleka's face was blank, and she was mindlessly fidgeting with the mirror on her bracelet.
"I promise I didn't do anything she said," Adrien clarified.
"You don't have to lie to me," Juleka whispered. "If I was cut out to be a model, then you should have just said so."
"You are!" Adrien argued.
"Lila's a liar," Marinette stated. "She has been lying ever since she got to this school."
"Why did I think I had a chance?" Juleka's voice broke, and she sniffled.
"Because you do," Adrien said. "Everyone I talked to said you do."
Marinette put a reassuring hand on Adrien's knee. I don't think she's listening to us.
Adrien sighed, and Marinette could see resignation on his face.
Rose leaned up against Juleka, and Juleka leaned her head against Rose's.
"Even if you don't win the contest, you're still a good model," Rose whispered. "And a good person. You're spiraling right now. Whatever you're thinking isn't true."
Juleka nodded.
"Just breathe," Rose whispered.
Marinette watched them for a moment, before standing up. She gestured for Adrien to follow her.
"I'm going to text Luka," Marinette whispered. She quickly sent off a text, and Luka replied almost instantly.
"He's on his way." Marinette looked up, noticing that Adrien wasn't watching her. He was glaring off into open air.
"You okay?" Marinette asked.
"Yeah," Adrien replied. He turned back to her and smiled his model smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Adrien's phone dinged, and he dug it out of his pockets.
"Results from the contest," Adrien said. Marinette watched as his face scrunched up in anger.
Adrien scowled and stood there for a moment, his breathing getting heavier, staring at his phone.
Then he moved, quick as lightning, and lodged his phone towards the other end of the school.
Marinette felt her stomach drop. "Lila won."
Adrien didn't move. "Lila won."
Rage pulsed through her veins, and Marinette cursed and rammed her fist into the closest wall.
"How?" Marinette growled. "How does she keep pulling this stuff off?"
Marinette turned to Adrien, who had straightened himself up. He clenched unclenches his fists, still not looking at Marinette.
"This sucks," he breathed. "She doesn't even want it, she just wants to be able to brag about it."
Marinette walked up to the railing and leaned on it, letting her anger and... and tiredness wash through her.
"I'm sick of this," Marinette replied. "I'm sick of her."
Adrien shook his head. "I'm an idiot. I can't believe I thought ignoring her would make her go away."
"It's not like anything I did helped," Marinette said.
"At least you tried," Adrien argued. "You did everything you could to help, but I thought that the best way to help was to do nothing, say nothing, like it'd all blow over like some tabloid."
Marinette stood there for a second, closing her eyes and just feeling the anger, the helplessness. Like a wave.
And for a moment, she could feel Adrien's too. One of his friends was hurt, too, and he felt anger. He felt helpless.
It was like they were in sync.
"She's going down," Marinette decided, turning away from the railing and marching back to the classroom, Adrien on her heels. She swung open the door, a little more forceful than necessary, and walked inside.
To a classroom that had already dissolved into chaos.
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scottym125 · 6 years
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Living on my own Chapter 1
Want to know how I have been living independently while having special needs?  I’ll tell you how I have been successfully living on my own for the past 14 years.  The first thing I did have to start living on my own is to find a place to live in a safe area.  Before I moved into my current apartment in San Diego my mom and I went apartment hunting around San Diego.  Some of the things I considered while apartment hunting were square footage, number of bedrooms, cost of rent and other expenses (what the landlord is responsible for and and what the tenant is responsible for), living environment which means do you want a 1 bedroom and live by yourself or do you want to have roommates, is the area safe from crime and is the apartment in a good location.  I finally found a great apartment where I have been living the last 8 years.  The main thing I enjoy about my apartment is that it is centrally located.  The next steps once you find  an apartment is to sign the lease which is the rental agreement, pay the security deposit and the first month’s rent.  Another important thing I did before I moved in is to conduct a complete walk though of the apartment to make sure it is safe to live in and take notes of any damage and or things missing.  When I did the walk though of my current apartment, I wrote down any damage that I noticed and anything that was missing, for example the dishwasher was missing the utensil holder.  It’s important to do this so as a tenant so when you move out you won’t be responsible for any damage that was there when you moved in.  
Once I signed all the legal documents and I was handed the keys to my apartment, the fun begins, the actual moving in to the apartment, depending on how much stuff you have to move in to your apartment.  When I moved to San Diego from the Bay Area, I was not quite 26 and had been living on my own for 5 years so I already had accumulated a good amount of stuff.  When I was moving to my current apartment, there wasn’t a lot that I needed to buy.  For someone who may be just starting out, moving into a new apartment could be both exciting and overwhelming at the same time.  Before you and your family make a trip to IKEA or to any store that sells  whatever you may need for the apartment , it’ll be smart to take measurements of the apartment and with the measurements create a floor plan in order to you know where everything will fit in the apartment and most importantly how you and your family plan on moving into the apartment.  I mention this because not all apartment complexes have elevators or push carts to use to help you move in.  The apartment complex that I live at doesn’t have an elevator or any push carts and I live on the 2nd floor.  Another helpful packing tip is to pack any breakable items in newspaper, tissue paper and or paper towels.  The most important thing to you to have on your moving day is a lot of patience and a healthy sense of humor. 
Before your moving day arrives, it is important to find family and friends to help you move.  Other things to line up is a moving van/truck and setting up enough drivers for all the vehicles, the size of the van/truck you’ll need to order depends on how much stuff you are moving.  An important thing that you need a lot of for when you are packing up your stuff are boxes and a permanent marker so you can label what room the boxes go in when you or other people are unloading the vehicles.  Other things that you’ll want for any last minute packing is (tape, string and scissors).  The next thing I did is I chose the various services you’ll want to use so you can figure out the best place to hook up your different appliances (TV, microwave, toaster oven and landline) and where all the hookups are around the apartment.  Another thing you’ll need to do is create a checklist of when everything will be delivered and hooked up so you will know to be home if needed. 
A nice thing to do as a way to say thank you for everyone who helped you with your move would to treat them by having pizza and drinks delivered.  Once all of my stuff had been moved comes my favorite part of moving, which is the unpacking and figuring out where I want everything to go in my new apartment.  Some things are pretty obvious.  My bed, dresser, bookcases go in my bedroom.  Other things that go in my bedroom would be my clothes, my favorite books, and anything I consider to be personal/private.  Anything that belongs in the kitchen includes my toaster, microwave, silverware, other utensils, food, potholders, spices and other things that go in a normal kitchen.  Things that normally go in the common area also known as the family/living room were my couch, other bookcases, a table to eat at, a coffee table, a hutch where I store pictures and other stuff like cards and batteries.  Another thing I did as part of the getting settled process was to hang stuff on the walls like pictures and movie posters. 
Once you have gotten to a good stopping point, is a great time to go on a grocery run where you can stock up on the essential items.  Remember to follow these simple guidelines/rules (never go grocery shopping when hungry and always prepare a list with only what you need) as a couple ways to avoid overspending and it will keep you on budget.  Another thing that I wish I knew when I first started living on my own was the skill of budgeting and money management.  It is very important to create a budget.  You can prepare a budget using a spreadsheet program like Excel, you could name the columns with the names of each month and the rows with all of your different expenses.  As an example when I created my budget, I had to come up with an estimate known as variable expenses for what I spend on expenses like groceries, eating out, using Uber, movies out, movies, cable, grooming (hair and nails cut) in and misc spending.  The other expenses you’ll have are more fixed costs.  As an example of fixed expenses are rent, water, gas and electric and cell phone.  How you estimate your expenses is related to how much income you earn from a steady paycheck from a job and from getting social security.  In addition to potentially deciding if want to get cable or just subscribe to Netflix and or Amazon Prime or any of the other streaming platforms such as Hulu.  Another choice to be made has do with how you want to get exercise, you can join a gym, sign up for recreational sports team like VAVI, Sports for Exceptional Athletes or Special Olympics. 
These 3 organizations offer other benefits in addition to being a great way to get exercise, they offer a variety of sports and are a easy way to meet people which could help increase your social circle and it also lead you to finding a job because the best way to get a job is through networking which is made easier with the more people you know. 
Another way to help you find a job is to research job placement agencies via a search engine like Google.  That is how I got started with TMI and they have been extremely helpful with getting me a number of jobs, improved my resume and have increased my self confidence when it comes to job interviews.  TMI  was how I got my current job at TJ Maxx.  My contact at TMI emailed me asking if I would be interested in attending a job fair put on by TJ Maxx, I went, got hired, attended orientation at both a local hotel and at the store which at the time wasn’t even open yet and then went to my first day of my new job at TJ Maxx.  15 months later I am still employed at TJ Maxx and I am among a group of people who have been there from day one.  I work as a store associate in the stock room where I do a variety of tasks which include (unloading and sorting inventory from the truck, unwrapping and sensoring purses, opening and sensoring luggage and laying out clothes from boxes). 
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gavinmarshall · 3 years
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Your audience is the people with whom you come in contact.
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Angus MacGyver headcannons of what it’s like to live with Mac as his wife and stuff he likes in the bedroom like kinks/turn ons..? 😏
A/N: I lovethis man so much so I got super excited when I saw this request and also Iapologize for my limited knowledge on the Sexy Times and kinky stuff but hedoes turn me on like no other when he talks physics so that is definitelyaddressed
He takesmuch pleasure in doing all those domestic and mundane things together
cooking
cleaning
groceryshopping
you adopteda dog (or more) together so you go pet store shopping
puttingtogether IKEA furniture
you getpissed and give up but he’s a genius so he manages to do most of the workwithout the instructions
shoppingfor office supplies is a favorite
“Mac…”
“Yes…?”
“Careto explain how ten packs of paperclips got into the cart”
and if youhave kids shopping for school supplies is just??? the best???
You work atPhoenix with Mac but you stay at HQ with Webber when they go out on missions
whenever hegets back you can’t keep your hands off each other
sometimesyou’re so impatient you just do it at work
in thebathroom, an empty office, the lab late at night, etc
showeringtogether is definitely a thing
so steamythe mirror always fogs up
don’t picturethat shower scene from the first episode just dON’T DO IT
and let’snot get started on the scene where he’s handcuffed to the bed
you hadaccess to the footage for that and seeing it definitely did not turn you on
and youdefinitely didn’t try it
shout outto my fellow nerds who also get turned on when he talks physics
the two ofyou have turned the garage into some sort of mechanics lab where you work onfun projects together
when hestarts talking physics you just take him right then and there
the amountof times you’ve pushed everything of the work table and had to start a projectover again is uncountable
he mightnot come off as the most touchy-feely guy but you get him flustered
most of thetime you’re not even aware of what you’re doing but he watches you constantlyand pays attention to all the little details
you couldjust be going over paper work before leaving the office after a long day, yourhair in a messy bun, the top button of your blouse undone, and you’re biting yourlip as you review the details of your report
he’ll walkin seeing you like that and before you register what’s happening he’s got youpushed up against the door, attacking your neck
you’ll havejust neatly laid out all the papers you need for the next day on your desk and thenext second they’re all over the floor, and the rest of the buttons on yourblouse are undone
now forsome more soft stuff
movie andshow marathons together
waking upin each other’s arms
sometimesyou wake up to the sound of him taking a shower after his morning jog
you jump inwith him
you don’tcare how long you’ve been together you steal his shirts all the time
especiallywhen he gone on long missions you almost exclusively wear his sweaters orshirts
they smelllike him and it reassures you that he’ll always come back to you
he leaves stickynotes and paperclips all over the place for you to find when he’s gone
even ifit’s only for a short period of time like when he goes out to get you breakfast
years intothe marriage your heart still flutters every time you glance at the ring onyour finger
Masterlist | Request headcanons or aeshtetics
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steve-mallon · 4 years
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Thomas Yeomans interviewed by Steve Mallon [Originally published in Crack Magazine]
Thomas Yeomans is an artist working primarily in moving image.
Having studied at the Slade School of Fine Art and the Royal College of Art, Thomas now lives and works in London. Drawing broadly from pop culture, advertising, and the darker recesses of the internet, his elegant and unsettling work has earned him solo shows in London and Manchester, along with countless group exhibitions across Europe over the past four years. Last week we spoke to Thomas about the influences and ideas behind his videos.
You graduated from the Royal College of Art in 2012- how has it been living and working as an artist since leaving?
In a few respects it’s been really shit- having no money or working a lot for very little money. But in so many other respects it’s been so amazing. I’ve met some really exciting people and been able to show in some really exciting places around the world. We’d all love to have more money and more time but right now I get to make and show my work and that’s the best thing I could have hoped for since graduating.
I noticed from the bio on your website that you were on the MA Painting course at the RCA but the work you make is predominantly film-based now- how did that come about?
I think I was trying to be too clever with the paintings I was making. I was copying Ikea and John Lewis print patterns- appropriating abstract shapes and colours that have mass appeal- generic but desirable. The paintings just looked gross. I realised I was interested in mimicking lots of visual languages that exist to compel their audience in one way or another. I wanted to better understand ideas like persuasion, appeal and desire. At some point I felt there was more fertile ground in appropriating moving image to explore this. With ‘Painting’ written over the entrance to the building I felt I could understand my practice better as image-based; whether as paint on canvas or projection on a wall. I think my videos are really painterly.
Can you tell us about the main ideas you try to express in your work?
I suppose ultimately I’m expressing my feelings. That I’m in ecstatic awe of the baroque pictures I take from mainstream culture but also deeply troubled by and cynical of the physical impact and emotional manipulation they can exert on us.
You co-opt a lot of corporate aesthetics in your videos- stock footage and the tropes of aspirational advertising for example. What draws you to this kind of imagery?
The efficacy of a medium to persuade a recipient into changing their behaviour fascinates me. An ideographic animation, a sentimental piece of music or some footage that at first seems generic but when recontextualised appears sinister – these are the tools of corporate capitalist visual ideology that persuade us to buy into non-physical goods or services. Broadband, TV, phone contracts and so on. I don’t think my work subverts these strategies, as I’m sure we’re all aware of their power over us. But I do seek to divert these tropes into new meanings in order to create a slippage or space in which to better consider their power.
In a lot of your work you seem to be dealing with, or talking about triteness. Is it always about critique or is there something more reverent at play too- reasserting overlooked value or meaning in a cliché by changing its context maybe?
Both. It’s in my contrary nature to receive something with reverence and immediately find it disgraced as a result. When something becomes cliché or trite we tend to feel we have control over it- we recognise it’s machinations and almost laugh it off. But perhaps that’s exactly what needs mining- the material that has become so assimilated into mass consciousness we no longer accept its power. Like shampoo adverts that haven’t changed since the 80s.
There’s also a lot of quite menacing imagery referencing internet culture in some of your videos. Often its presented with a very aggressive, rapid-fire style of editing. What kind of relationship do you have with the internet as an artist?
I have a very obsessive relationship with the internet. Most of my studio time is spent browsing. I see the internet as providing a post-cinematic landscape of co-authorship across multiple platforms, multiple devices, multiple timelines and multiple places. The fragmented narratives that can be constructed online in real time is endless, immediate and- yes- rapid. By taking video and sound from the web and re-stitching it together into fast paced works I feel I’m emulating a common place, mass activity of parody, appropriation and collage that previously existed as a strategy of the avant-garde.
Which artists or artworks have inspired you the most?
I think artists like Jon Rafman, Amalia Ulman and Petra Cortright are doing interesting things. I love everything Diplo touches right now and can’t wait to see Rihanna at Wembley in June. I think she’ll always inspire me the most.
Lastly do you having any forthcoming exhibitions or current projects you’re working on?
I’m excited to have just been asked to participate in a live broadcast of video art through a TV Channel being launched in New York in February. I’ve always wanted to be on TV.
See more of Thomas’s work at his website and Vimeo
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xnxadultstore · 5 years
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Foodie Coloring Books
Completely thrilled with the Foodie’s Colouring guide and what a terrific concept!
I obtain a lot of coloring books like this however not often do I get so excited once I begin going via the pages. I’m a Foodie and a Coloring Book Addict so the 2 passions in a single place are good. First, you get enjoyable and fanciful foodie footage to paint in, all with a singular model clearly hand-drawn, none of this throw it collectively in Photoshop stuff. Next, you get pages with quotes from notable Foodies like Julia Child to paint in and hilarious footage, a favourite is an octopus with totally different cooking utensils in all eight of his “hands” I simply acquired this yesterday and usually I wait to do a evaluate however not so with this guide.
As if the enjoyable footage to paint weren’t sufficient, within the heart of this guide are some wildly YUMMY wanting sweets photographs with the recipe included. I believe I gained weight simply them however will probably be heading to the shop for substances at the moment!
The footage are one-sided so no issues with bleed via. There can also be a enjoyable quiz to seek out out simply HOW a lot of a wild Foodie YOU are. 
“Everyone knows a foodie or is a foodie themselves. Foodies love good food, good company, and sharing the tastes and flavors of a well-cooked dish. In The Foodie’s Colouring Book, foodies can rejoice and relax as they colour in a variety of food-themed images, take the foodie quiz, laugh at the foodie alphabet, and join the adult colouring book craze sweeping the world. For mindfulness or just for fun, The Foodie’s Colouring Book also includes a bonus cookbook section with sweet recipes to cook at home. Colour, cook, create!”
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We had been thrilled to have the ability to get slightly one on one time with the illustrator of the Foodie Colouring Book Haylea Bridle.
What do you get pleasure from drawing probably the most
I very a lot loved the problem of drawing meals I wouldn’t usually draw. Oysters for instance, I need to say, had been by no means on the prime of my to-do checklist, nevertheless I believe I can now say if ‘Oyster Anatomy; an intimate glance’ occurred to be a subject at pub trivia, I’d be going residence with the meat tray.
How did you get began?
By testing my dad and mom’ persistence as a toddler. Things had been drawn on that shouldn’t have been drawn on, utilizing issues that shouldn’t have been used to attract with. I referred to as it my ‘experimental phase’, my dad and mom’ referred to as it their ‘blue phase’.
Who or what has impressed you?
For this guide, breakfast, lunch and dinner (aaand the various snacks in between) turned edible inspiration. Humble snack expeditions to the fridge started to take slightly longer because it reworked into 5 cabinets of (at some instances, decomposing) reference. A mere sandwich was by no means escorted to my mouth with no notepad as witness.I’ve a spatially inconvenient behavior of amassing massive quantities of youngsters’s image books, from which I additionally draw nice inspiration. A truth the shelving part of my native IKEA can attest to. Some discover inspiration in Tolstoy; I discover inspiration in Toy Story
.Do you want to paint in your designs or choose to have others do this? Others! I coloured within the cowl for The Foodies Coloring Book, and I can say at that time limit, I used to be experiencing little or no therapeutic profit that coloring in is thought for, figuring out that each line rebelling pencil stroke could be on present! As these illustrations had been created with the intent of being black and white, there’s nothing higher than seeing somebody breathe new life into them with colour.
What provides (manufacturers) do you advocate on your guide(s)? My favorite colored pencils are by a model referred to as LYRA. They are so lovely to carry, it makes you by no means wish to decide up anything once more. They are smudge-proof and waterproof too, particularly useful for these prone to a celebrational weep as soon as completed colouring!
This illustration and quote simply cracked me up.. Check out the Melons Dolly Parton is holding! 
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We additionally wish to know what the guide publishers have in retailer for colorists so we did a brief Q&A with them as nicely. Hopefully, the coloring “craze” is a good way for extra individuals to find and profit this fashion.
The Coloring Book pattern doesn’t appear to be slowing down.. if something it’s selecting up within the US with increasingly more artistic and distinctive concepts for individuals to attach with. The posterzines the writer spoke of earlier than can be found too with “The Foodie’s Colouring Posters” that includes 2 big posters and three small posters. What enjoyable for a restaurant opening or a potluck get together.
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These books are additionally out there on the Book Depository presumably with much less postage so examine there as nicely. I’ll be coloring on this guide very quickly and sharing my outcomes and ideas in regards to the paper on the social media channels so be anticipating that, and by chance I acquired a set of Lyra Colored Pencils for Christmas so I’ll be making an attempt these out first since they had been prompt by the illustrator.
All these concerned with this coloring guide would like it if you happen to use the hashtags #foodiescolouring #foodiescoloring or #foodiescolouringbook if you colour in a web page to allow them to see their creations dropped at life by the colorists on the market.
Funny Foodie Coloring Books for Adults
Suck My Cookbook: Clean Recipes for Dirty Minds 
A Coloring Book by Cherrie Poppins (Author),‎ Wild Billy (Illustrator) Suck my Cookbook has all of it. Naughtily intelligent illustrations that match up with the recipes. You not solely have coloring to do, there are additionally phrase search, crossword puzzles and extra to maintain you busy. This could be a PERFECT White Elephant present trade present in case your group has humorousness in addition to the foodie in your present checklist. I’m thrilled the writer despatched me a number of copies, I’ve already discovered properties for them and might’t wait to see what my buddies do with them.
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Click to order Amazon US, UK & Canada  or Book Depository
Severe Snacks Coloring Book
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This guide is lovable and excellent for somebody that prefers humorous and entertaining over intensely detailed coloring. Each of those illustrations is hand achieved, no computer-generated artwork right here. Prepare your self to paint in all your favourite snacks- from a healthful, vicious apple to candy, but evil toaster pastries- attacking each other with glee and abandon. *Warning- comprises snack-on-snack violence. May trigger laughter and abdomen rumblings! Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada
Taco Life: A Spicy Adult Coloring Book
Spiral-bound, printed on one aspect with 76 pages, the enjoyable coloring guide with it’s “Ode to Taco’s” theme will hold you laughing the entire manner via. You will ‘colour your manner via this snarky Taco-obsessed guide stuffed with pages of one-liners all taco devourers can get pleasure from. Oh, and a few recommendation. This guide is finest served with…you guessed it. Tacos.” How enjoyable!
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 Click to Order Amazon US, UK & Canada
Southern Living Celebrations Cakes: A Lifestyle Coloring Book
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I just lately noticed this coloring guide within the Target journal part and thought it was a superb concept, combining two of my favourite issues! Coloring and fabulous desserts. Each web page has a cake to paint and on the alternative web page the recipe for the cake. Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada
Delicious Whimsey Coloring Book
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31 fun-to-color, mouthwatering phrase designs. Unique and playful illustrations characteristic the shapes of meals gadgets fashioned by quite a lot of associated phrases. Images embrace an ice cream cone, pancakes, pizza, cupcake, hamburger, fries, and extra. Pages are perforated and printed on one aspect just for straightforward elimination and show. Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada
A Cozy Coloring Cookbook – 40 Simple Recipes to Cook Eat and Color
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Drawing inspiration from her lovely weblog A Cozy Kitchen, cookbook writer and meals blogger Adrianna Adarme has created an grownup coloring cookbook with 40 glad, cozy, and attractive recipes and illustrations—together with pizza for breakfast and kaleidoscope ratatouille tarts Click to Order Amazon US, UK or Canada
The Great British Bakeoff Coloring
Book Color your manner via 90 lovely illustrations of your favourite bakes by the official Bake-Off illustrator, Tom Hovey. Forget the recipe, take off these oven gloves and unleash your inventive aptitude — enhance showstopping truffles and bakes while the strain’s actually off.
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Designer Desserts
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From Creative Haven, greater than 30 unique, mouthwatering cake and cupcake designs let everybody be a part of within the enjoyable. Pages are perforated and printed on one aspect just for straightforward elimination and show.
Life is Delicious a spiral-bound Coloring Cafe guide
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These 45 pleasant coloring pages drawn by the gifted artist, Ronnie Walter, will take you from the kitchen to the desk too, however with out all of the clean-up.
Coloring Books for Wine Lovers and Cocktail Fans
Color Your Cocktails by the Martini Diva
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Stir and shake up some coloring and cocktail enjoyable with cocktails like “You’ll SHOOTER You’re Eye Out!”, “It’s All About MEmosa!” and classics just like the Daiquiri, Gin Martini, and Pina Colada. Have enjoyable following the Martini Diva on Instagram right here. She additionally has some holiday-themed cocktails books to play in:
Wine Time Coloring Book
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This guide is designed for these colorists preferring easier designs and love wine. 30 one-sided pages by Rachel Jones stuffed with wine and whimsey.
Click to Order Amazon US –  UK –  Canada  & Book Depository
Wine Time 2 – Whimsical Refreshments
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Click to Order Amazon US –  UK –  Canada  & Book Depository
If you might be new to coloring or simply wish to dive in slightly deeper you should definitely learn our expansive provide suggestions together with our ideas and tips articles.
*How to Get Started with Adult Coloring Best Colored Pencils *Best Gel Pens *Best Markers that Don’t Bleed Through the Paper * Background Supplies *Coloring Tutorials *13 Tips & Tricks for Colorists
You may also be a part of our Coloring Book Addict Facebook Group Here.
The post Foodie Coloring Books appeared first on XNX Adult Store.
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myamthoughts · 5 years
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October 18, 2019
Today was interesting. Also before I get into it I have been doing this for a week ❤️🎁🎈🎁🎁. So just like another Friday I went to my class and while I was waiting for my teacher who’s always late by 30 minutes a women in my class starts talking to me, she explains she’s into documentaries but her son doesn’t like them. Which I found funny cause apparently she remembered when I introduced myself the first day when I said I wanted to become a director because she said “you’re the director one” so I kinda liked that she remembered that because we never talked prior to that. Her name is dawn which is the flash’s daughters name so lol.but again that guy I was grouped up with was late again, So naturally I was pissed off at him. I was hesitant of doing it but I went to my teacher and explained to her what’s been happening but to my surprise she understood. She said that I’m not the first to complain about him not really taking anything seriously, which she said “thank you for taking one for the team” which reminded me of Abraham in TWD, anywho as we spoke about him and the project she told me which I found very inspirational:
“you are the managing director of your destiny”
So, I told her to write it on a piece of paper for me which she just told she’d just text it to me. And she’s letting me do the new project which is a Music Video by myself which personality I like better because than I’ll make creative control over the video and how I vision it, then trying to explain it to someone. After that she told me to put the doorstop in the door which when I was doing it I saw a book on her shelf and she let me keep it which was nice. Yeah I have a problem of wondering and touching shit I’m probably not supposed to, (I really have to work on that) after a while he finally came in the room and I asked “got it” referring to the footage for the project and he said yes but not all of it was filmed on the camera we were supposed to so I had to try and get a minute worth of footage and B - Roll into 3 minutes..... I wasn’t able to. He said he’ll work on it this week because it’s due next Friday so here’s to hoping he actually keeps his word because I can’t afford to fail. He stayed for about an hour then left before class even ended so I was still mad and then my mom picked me up and we went to IKEA which holy shit!, IKEA is huge granted I only saw the bottom floor. I never been in IKEA before I said to her as we were walking it’s like Disney but for adults.
I was in heaven. They had so many candles which smelt incredible, but I digress. We went home and I went in the bath for a while then watched a live stream on Facebook that my dad showed me of Hurlbut Academy which is for filmmaking and I guess I fell asleep because I woke up to my mom standing over me saying we had to leave for the movies, I SAW JOKER! Ok I thought it was 10/10, brother and parents not so much. I FUCKIN’ LOVED IT. It’s definitely a movie about society and shit like that, media sucks and shit like that but I understood what their message was. Mental illness isn’t taken seriously in the movie and due to that people were killed by Arthur. Heath Ledger May he Rest In Peace but Joaquin Phoenix did a fantastic job with JOKER. Afterwards I came home and called a friend then accidentally fell asleep. It’s 6:54 A.M. honestly today was a good day I realize that I have a complex about myself which only comes out if I’m mad or being treated like shit at least in my eyes. My mom offered me to start going to therapy but I don’t think it will actually help, so I turned down the offer. I would have liked her to ask while still in high school I think that would have been nice with all the shit that was going on.
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So hubby and I decided it was finally time to actually do some sort of makeover of our master bathroom. It wasn’t a big space but it certainly wasn’t a nice one either. The only thing acceptable in it was the shower itself. Somebody had obviously recently renovated it. Not necessarily in my choice of colour, but it was certainly good enough for us not to worry about ripping it up and starting over. This isn’t our forever home. We did however desperately want to get rid of the god-awful brown square tiles covering the floor and the lip leading into the shower. 
I am reasonably sure the man who lived in this house prior to us, had absolutely no taste whatsoever, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. We have seen numerous examples throughout the house proving this point. Just look at the backsplash (almost identical to the bathroom tiles) and countertops in the kitchen: 
I’m not sure if he was doing everything possible to eradicate everything even remotely feminine in this house (apparently they went through a pretty nasty divorce after he told her to leave because he had found “the love of his life”)! I mean he seriously sounds like such a dick anyway! Good riddance! And good riddance to the ugly brown tiles throughout the house that don’t match anything else. 
Back to the bathroom: we had decided on the LifeProof vinyl flooring planks, having been very impressed by the way they’ve held up over the past year in our basement. We love the colour too (seasoned wood) and it looks amazing with blue paint (& every other colour too)! Here’s a link to it at the Home Depot: LifeProof Seasoned Wood multi-width vinyl flooring (and no, I’m not getting paid by them to share this link with you, though I wish I was! lol)
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We knew how durable the vinyl flooring was because we used it in our basement renovation over a year ago and it has withstood three kids, a dog, a cat, numerous guests (the guest room and spare bathroom are down there) even some drunk people – yes, the bar and pool table are also down there! 😉 I was actually originally toying with the possibility of using the travertine, like I had done in the kids’ bathroom, but decided against it because of what a pain in the arse it became when I actually renovated the bathroom from hell (aka the kids’ bathroom). I didn’t want to rip out the existing tile, I wanted something easy to lay, was reasonably priced and was also durable – unlike the flooring we had put throughout the main level that looked beautiful at first, but damaged the minute you breathed near it (Here is a link showing some of the ‘wear and tear’ on this flooring. Do NOT buy this product, you will regret it and the company – Harmonics, holds no liability, blaming the installation process for everything! This was the Harmonics Spiced Applewood Laminate Flooring from Costco.)
Normally, you don’t need to lay any underlay underneath a vinyl flooring but because of the square tiles, I decided to use a vapour barrier one I had found on Amazon to help even out the uneven divides between each 2×2 inch tile. It obviously need to be something that could go in a bathroom, so this one was perfect: 3in1 Silent Vapor Barrier Flooring Underlayment w/overlap and tape 100sq.ft by Feather Step and you can’t beat the price at $18 for 100 sq. ft! Be prepared though, it does smell a bit when you open the packaging up.
The next thing you need to do is to work out how your flooring is going to lay. Because the Seasoned Wood Vinyl Flooring planks come in multi-widths, we had to plan this out in advance to get minimum waste. I suggest you do the same thing. Here is a time lapse video link to us laying the floor : Bathroom floor laying. So, the first thing I need to clarify is that we do have the vapor barrier upside down in this video. We did eventually reverse it, but it was a long process and quite frustrating, so I didn’t get video footage of that. Remember, silver side down.
The next problem we had was the super weird, ugly shower lip. Why would you put those ugly floor tiles going up the edge of the newly renovated shower? A normal person would have gotten rid of that, but not our guy! Probably because it was a tad too hard; it certainly puzzled us for a while as to how we were going to get rid of them without removing the tiles (we would have to do it all if we removed these ones).
Hubby suggested using baseboard, but I was very concerned about the moisture getting into it, even after I coated it with spar urethane (a special urethane that is used for sealing wood in areas where it will be exposed to water or strong sunlight). We tried it nonetheless and it looked like crap to be honest. I bought a couple of different types of tiles, but we needed something big enough and with nice enough edges, that it would look good on the top where it met the other tiles from the shower, or we needed something to finish it off. It was really a matter of trial and error. We had decided to use the Aspect Peel and Stick backsplash  stainless long grain metal tiles behind the countertop (hubby’s suggestion) so I thought it might be a good idea to use these down the bottom of the shower, where it met the floor. But how to finish the edge off and cover the little bit of exposed ugly tile? I searched through the house looking for something I could use when I found it!!!
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Yes, that is leftover wire cord from an IKEA light! If you look closely you can see that the outside is actually covered in plastic, it was surprisingly flexible too. I straightened the cord out, sealed the ends by melting the plastic for a split second and glued it on with a waterproof glue and Voila!
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The Aspect Peel and Stick tiles with the IKEA lighting cord used as the finishing touch
The finished floor!
  We love our new bathroom floor!
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Bathroom Makeover – The Flooring So hubby and I decided it was finally time to actually do some sort of makeover of our master bathroom. 1,129 more words
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hx-moved · 7 years
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Questions?
@kellsierr tagged me in this 💜💜 (I know you tagged my main blog but it's a bit around kpop so I figured I'd answer them here, also wanna get more interactions on this blog) 
1. ultimate bias(es)? - zelo, since B.A.P is my ultimate bias group and the group that got me into kpop. he’s amazing and adorable, his voice, his rapping, his dancing. the way he adorably blinks, his smile. I adore him and respect him so much as a person. aaaaaand then we have heechul, don’t even get me started on this sassy ass. I love how comfortable he is, really open and nice. but also sassy and doesn’t care what people think and that they joke about him being feminine and gay, he just owns it and doesn’t care (which for me is how you should react). also his voice, his smile. jfc I love him so much
2. who are your top 3 groups? - monsta x, bts, got7 (some might wonder why not b.a.p? That's bc they are my kings and transcends everything when it comes to top things) 
3. what are your 3 favourite songs? - for the moment these are the ones I wanna listen to on repeat; kpop: wake me up - b.a.p, movie - btob, I'll be yours - girls day. other: follow you - bmth, the sound of silence - disturbed, skin - rihanna 
4. what do you like to do in your free time? - listen to music, hang out with friends, play games, draw, watch movies/shows 
5. are there any places you would like to visit that you haven’t already visited? - I really wanna go the the US and visit my friends, also wanna go to Japan and South Korea 
6. do you have a dream job? - I wanna work with risk assessment within forensic psychiatry, it's what I enjoyed most during university (I have a bachelors degree in criminology). I'm currently working within that field, just not really with risk assessments at the moment. right now I’m content with just getting experience within the field
7. if you could meet ANY korean CELEBRITY (includes actors, models, k-music artists, etc.), who would it be? - uuuuuuuuhm, I don’t really know? I guess the groups I listen to. but aside from them I think the cast of knowing brothers, I really enjoy that show and they seem to have a  lot of fun. also the combo heechul with kyunghoon is just perfect. and lastly I’d like to meet Ryu HwaYoung, the actress from the drama Age of Youth. she’s my female celebrity crush
8. what do you love most about your bias group(s)? - omg everything? their voices, the melodies, the stories within the lyrics. I always find a song (or pretty much all of the songs) that I can relate to, and the way that these songs can make me feel so much happiness. also the groups personality, I love watching behind the scenes footage, vlive, or shows they’re on. because seeing them just fooling around is one of the most beautiful things to me 
9. who are your ultimate bias wreckers? -  B.A.P - bias: zelo, bias wrecker: daehyun Monsta X - bias: changkyun, bias wrecker: THE WHOLE GODDAMN GROUP, IT WAS ALREADY HARD ACTUALLY PICKING A BIAS???? BTS - bias: yoongi, bias wrecker: namjoon (although pretty much the whole group here as well dammit) Got7 - bias: yugyeom, bias wrecker: it has always been mark or jackson, but during the never ever era bambam has been waaaaay too close >.> stay in your lane boy....
10. what do you wish for the most to happen? - people growing up and stop hating on everyone else that isn’t like them? like, everyone showing respect for each other. 
11. when did you get into kpop and how? - I have known about kpop for a long time but never got into it because I was lame and thought it was weird when I was younger (don’t judge me, I’m repenting now haha). but it was like a year and a half ago I think? Me and @septemberpoems were discussing guys with base voices, so she started talking about a few guys that had really low voices, and like “I’m linking it later tonight”. So she sent me Warrior - B.A.P and Nillili Mambo - Block B. After that moment I was stuck haha. Or as she so beautifully put it “hannie’s kpop obsession literally started with a five sentence conversation about babyfaced koreans on the bus from ikea”
12. what made you decide to have a tumblr blog? - I think it started from that I wanted to find more pictures and gifs, so I found tumblr and then got stuck
13. favorite colour? - green and blue
14. favorite animal? - I love pretty much all animals, how can you not? but cats is always a favourite, also adore red pandas
15. what are your interests? - music, singing, drawing, writing. and languages, it’s something I’ve always had a knack for. I speak swedish and english fluently, then I also studied german in school and I’m currently learning korean. also know a little latin from my singing days. I’d like to learn more
17. what would you like to achieve (or experience) before the age of 60? - hopefully seeing some of my favourite bands, but mostly just living a good life. I have one thing that I wanna do before I die and that’s drive my favourite car (preferably owning it) a camaro ss
i’m gonna tag @kittyminhyuk @vchangkyun and @aexthetic-suga bc you seem awesome and I wanna learn more about you guys :3 if you don’t wanna do it that’s absolutely fine!
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