dr11ft - Tumblr blog

dr11ft · 6 days ago

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still alive, still making art, just waiting for something I'm not sure I can name to get it into postable form

#also reviving 11 year old me's interests and getting back into star wars lol #txt

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dr11ft · 1 month ago

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sometimes I forget what I look like

#sketchbook #been using my sketchbook more than anything else lately #its odd #having some kinda weird life cycle moment rn with going back to pencil #I have ideas for some digital stuff I just can't get myself to sit down and commit yk #anyways been thinking of changing something abt my hair but idk what 🤔

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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I should note that this isn't grouped by story relevance to eachother; scy and iris are involved with eachother but that circle includes kaspar and kazumi and rael etc ilya and ana are kind of out of place here because ilya is from scy's backstory and ana is from iris' future after scy

the cruise ctrl cast pt 1 - iris, scythe, ilya, ex-o

#yapping #not that you all know anything about the timeline to begin with but work with me here okay

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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the cruise ctrl cast pt 1 - iris, scythe, ilya, ana

#these were KILLING me yes this is what I spent inktober on #october #whatever #I'm so fried rn #you can so tell the order I did these because the quality is visibly different but just ignore that thx #my goal is to do everyone but that might take a minute anyways this is the closest to how they actually look #cruise ctrl #digital art #oc art

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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I had to draw this outfit

#the heelsss #might be completely inaccurate because I was paying attention to the plot + dc lighting + episode just came out so no easy references #but oh well #also scrapped the color palette so she's very corpse bride #sofia gigante #sofia falcone #the penguin #digital art

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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I would like to apologize to every single one of my wips ever

#relevant again. sigh #the issue is that I both never know where to start and never know where I want things to end up. And also I don't Want to #txt

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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impressions

#sketchbook #cruise ctrl

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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Now the hard part is accepting that all my 'I mean it' art is juvenile as hell cause I never tried to go anywhere with it 🥲

I was so fucking worried. That my art would have no further depth to explore, that I'd be a laughingstock, that I'd be wasting money. That I wasn't actually meant for this. And now, after lying to myself for years, I realize that that's just how it feels to be a developing artist. And I wanted to make art the whole time. That's what I wanted. That's what I want.

#I know I've been subjecting you people to it #can only get better from here though right

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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This isn't a commentary on careers under capitalism or my deeply buried naive dreams of art school this is an exercise in honesty about centering art in your life and how it feels to gaslight yourself for no reason

I was so fucking worried. That my art would have no further depth to explore, that I'd be a laughingstock, that I'd be wasting money. That I wasn't actually meant for this. And now, after lying to myself for years, I realize that that's just how it feels to be a developing artist. And I wanted to make art the whole time. That's what I wanted. That's what I want.

#choosing to be painfully real rn #maybe I'll actually start making stuff again. who knows

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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I was so fucking worried. That my art would have no further depth to explore, that I'd be a laughingstock, that I'd be wasting money. That I wasn't actually meant for this. And now, after lying to myself for years, I realize that that's just how it feels to be a developing artist. And I wanted to make art the whole time. That's what I wanted. That's what I want.

#if making art is like breathing I've been slowly suffocating. hands around my own throat. and for what?#my fucking anxiety? ego?#this is the wall I've been running into the whole time. Every time I stop myself from making an original piece every time I focus on #repeated technical practice just to hold off the dread every time I feel an invisible wall of creativity doing character design #it doesn't matter. my life sucks shit now #I have nothing to lose #now all I can do is learn to exist as a creative again #like you all have no idea it literally felt like I wasn't allowed to do anything other than fucking fandom shit and comic stuff #and guess what?? when you live like that the fandom art sucks too!!!#and I was an asshole too. I projected that shit. I was soo proud of the fact that I made art my silly little hobby when everyone else wanted #to make it their life #fucking christ #txt

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dr11ft · 2 months ago

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