#ig you could write it off as that
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Rewatching multiverse of madness and it was a fun movie and all and Scarlet Witch sexy hummina woman moment but THEY DO MY GIRL WANDA SOOOOO DIRTY š š š š
#jane journals#not self insert#UGGGHH I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS#IT COMPLETELY DISREGARDS ALL OF THE GROWTH SHE HAD IN WANDAVISION#i mean idk if it decanonizes wandavision but IT REFERENCES IT#IT HAS THE FUCKING THEME SONG IN THE MOVIE#her ENTIRE arc the whole POINT of that show was her overcoming the pain of loss and grief#and im like a third into the rewatch i think but they may even reference the event??#like yeah she took all those ppl hostage#god forbid a woman do anything#no but THE WHOLE POINT WAS IT WAS WRONG AND SHE LEARNS TO LET GO#WANDA DID NOTHING WRONG#and like the whole darkhold thing i guess shes on some One Ring shit where shes possessed#ig you could write it off as that#where'd she even get it. who gave it to her
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alabasta!ace is who he really was. greasy, unwashed, unkempt. there is sand in his asscrack. his lips are peeling. his pee is acid yellow cause he doesn't drink water and only drinks booze. if sabo saw ace then, he'd probably scream in horror before pulling out the spray bottle he keeps on him to usher ace into the bath like an unruly cat. wano!ace? wano!ace is yamato "ethereal dead wife"-ing ace. wano!ace runs across the beach with a tinkling laugh all the while beckoning yamato to follow him. wano!ace says, "babe are you filming right now?" with a laugh as he pulls the pillow over his head as the sunlight streams through the window. wano!ace had his life figured out. wano!ace took care of the finances in the household. wano!ace whispers "i love you!", with his trademark smile, into yamato's ears before disappearing as yamato wakes with a shout, hands reaching out to grab nothing as tama cries in the next room over.
#like let's be serious now#yes this is based off of fanart#by @memphyy on tmblr#gorgeous art by the way#btw i was not a big yamaace shipper before this#but i think i converted myself in the process of writing this?#anyway ace baby come home#your husband and kid misses you#portgas d ace#fire fist ace#portgas ace#greasy alabasta ace#one piece#op ace#one piece ace#i will come back later and clean up these tags#oh my god how could i forget#yamaace#ig??? idk#yamato one piece#kurozumi tama
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gn lovlies Iām gonna go dream about Umemiya getting bit in zombie apocalypse au
#mari says#when im stressed i think abt killing him multiple waysā¦.hes my punching bagā¦my little stress ballā¦.#this one lets me have much angst i think#his initial reluctance to tell you but if he DOESNT then heāll turn and hurt you but asking you to finish him off before he turns???#oooo the look on his face when he knows ur gonna say you cant do it is so gentle and theres no blame at all#fun fact: i loooove zombies#all kinds#hmmm i could make him immune and his reaction when you push him out of the way not knowing that and getting bit yourself?#or him finding you after youāve turned and heās gotta put you out of your misery? Dreamy sigh#i started writing a lil bit but ive been sooooooooā¦bad. lately that i can barely get a sentence out#I wanna write blood and guts and sinew#sinew is one of my fav words#you may ask yourself āmari if he was gonna turn into a zombie what would you doā excellent question imaginary you#iād probably just let him bite me#but i do have it in me to mercy kill him too ig#but then i thinkā¦people wanna fuck the resident evil zombies right? wellā¦.#nvm back to killing him#why didnt i do zombies for halloween? cliche#jk i was just in my seasonal depression funk#still am but im trying to get better āļø
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Okay so I haven't listened to the book in the past couple days but there's this line from one of Zach's chapters that I can't stop thinking about cause it's like "good God that's so fucked" he says something along the lines of "I might have to work to transition from cute to hot but Rubens already there" and potentially in the same line but also maybe not cause I don't remember he says something close to "I have to make the switch from cute to hot if I want to have a career" which is like? Like it's so gross dude. Zach and Angel are barely 18 like tf- like yeah sex sells but Jesus christ what in the fuck. And then like the internalized issues?? Like it's not quite the same vein it's similar tho. I've always been "the fat kid" since I was in elementary school and let me tell you comparing your body to your friends' is literally the quickest way to start resenting them and hating yourself. Quite literally chorus was kinda pitting them against each other and started instilling body image issues in very impressionable teenagers and then was like *surprised Pikachu face* when they were all starting to show signs of depression and anxiety and started fighting and started doing dumb shit and drugs to try and cope.
#all my homkss hate chorus#headcanon they get a tell all documentary/docuseries and rip those fuckers to filth#like#grrr#they piss me tf off#like being a teenager is quite literally some of the most formative years of your life#and to have your privacy (Zach says at some point that it doesnt really matter if he doesnt wanna come out because chorus hates secrets#and he and ruben would get in more shit for not telling them than for sleeping together)#your personality (i could write an essay about them being put in little boxes based on bullshit and not how they are as people)#your individuality (other bullshit i could write an essay on is ruben being forced into the closet and liberally not telling the others#cause he didnt wanna get them pissed off and get all of them into shit)#all stripped away durring the time that you start forming who you are as a person has to be so fucking damaging#this blog is now about the sublte comentary on teen celebreties (that i dont think was intended to be looked into this deeply)#found in ya romance novel if this gets out which is about two guys in a boy band dating#the comedy of this isnt lost on me but like#yknow#im just icon codded ig#(does over analysing lines and side comments made in this book count as icon behavior?)#(asking for a friend)#anyways fandom tags time āØļø#if this gets out#itgo#zach knight
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Ep 6!!!
#Biggest take away from the episode: @fandom Dazai can't be Atsushi's father figure if he himself says Atsushi's father figure is theā#headmaster check your facts#Second biggest take away from the episode: the worst thing the headmaster transmitted Atsushi ought to be the terrible haircut choices#Mmmmhhh I could spend another whole tag rant to talk about how much I dislike the writing of Lucy in this episode ššš#But I worry I'll start being perceived as someone who hates women if I do so I won't.#(But let me just say. I really really *really* despite the āwhat women [alien and mysterious beings] want is hard to understand andā#impossible to decipher and more often than not they will say the exact opposite of what they meanā stereotype.#Like I hate it to an intimate extent.)#I quite like Kyouka's backstory!! I feel like she's the most fleshed out female character with a compelling character arc and personality.#I really like her. Lucy and Atsushi working as make-do parents (very largerly intended. More like siblings who are dating but that soundsā#even worse) was very cute. And I appreciate how the events seemed to set off Atsushi's own reflection on parenthood.#The same doesn't happen in the manga since the chapters are placed in a different order.#Overall this is just an episode that when I was reading the manga for the first time solidified my understanding that me and b/sd have#RADICALLY different views on the world. But now that after three years and having long come to terms with it.#I suppose it's just something that's there.#Ususal notes about the animation just for talks. The lack of budget really shows this episode and in the second half in particular.#It's especially noticeable in backgrounds that are just... Not the stunning backgrounds that usually make b/sd's anime strong point.#So in turn the lack of details comes off as twice as evident as it normally would :/#The whole Atsushi / Tanizaki exchange at the start of the chapter until the headmaster's identity is revealed is completely devoidā#of host which has me just?? What happened here??? A track slowly building up tension is an almost automatic choice I'm just like.#What happened. If it was a deliberate choice it was a very bad one in my humble opinion#On a more positive note I really like whoever drew the characters ābackground appearenceā this episode eheh#(you knowā the more stylized one when they're not on close up)#And the drawings at the end of the episode daz/atsu twilight scene were good. Kyouka's flashback was also good.#That's it :)#random rambles#Oh yeah rip chapter 39 ss/kk scene ig :///
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hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.
if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!
awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.
idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH š
ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!
#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time#why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk#scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit#1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal š#like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!!#this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u š
#2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom#but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines#a non-presence#i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions#i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself#occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off#that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think š
#but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by!#3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous š#let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!!#4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!!#anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!!#but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf#can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to š
#5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags#could have just said āthanks!ā couldn't i#please put me right in the bin#anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ā¤ļø
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yurusanta: the āØgiftāØ that keeps on āØgivingāØ
#thank you cn lxl twt for your hard work#cn lxl twt: the only place with consistent high quality aiyuu fanart and the funniest of observations known to mankind#my birdsite dash is p much just āomg aiyuu necklacesāļ¼[king yaoi (all 3 of them) lore]ļ¼[random fandom discourse]ļ¼āomg aiyuu necklaceā rn#that qrt i saw of the initial observation post with just the yurusanta lyrics made me laugh ngl#canāt believe weāre still getting samishigariya references in 2k24 though#maybe weāll get to see them flirt in last stage??? i swear iāll write an entire novel-length aiyuu fic if they become canon in last stage mv#yeah yeah tempting fate ikik they wonāt become canon so easily anyway lmao <-has no faith in loserxloser#lxl is truly the only couple who could get married twice (nonfan and meoto) and still not be canon. smh.#at this point im just waiting for last stage mv so that i will finally have the motivation to update my kissmark tier list lmfao#i havenāt looked at it since the julieta album coversā¦ hmmmmmm. maybe next week or the week after then#oh welllllll. time to go back to scrolling through king yaoi twts ig#i should really continue to read the o r v novel. why is yjh the og king yaoi when his ācompanionā is the one who keyboard warriored for him#but mannnnnn. i also really wanna watch the final ll live dvd that came in a few days backā¦#so many things to do; so little time~~~~~~~~#well. that sure went off-topic real quick. u m.
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I put 30 tags on that dear evan hansen post. for the love of god don't click to expand the tags I'm so fucking sorry I just hate that awful fucking show so fucking much. oh fuck I've done it again in the tags here oh god
#theo.txt#I just realized more fucked up bullshit in the show while I was typing is all#and then wasted like an hour checking lyrics to make sure I wasn't misreading#no they do have zoe immediately backtrack her assertion that she won't let her brother's death change her view of their relationship (bad)#even though death and especially suicide often leads to valorization of the deceased#but all it takes is Evan's little connor pov song about all the things he (connor(evan)) noticed about her.#which are all very cute and extremely romantically coded.#and she takes this at face value! despite many of the listed traits being extremely odd things for a sibling to notice!#especially one she had a volatile to abusive relationship with!!! what the fuck!!!!#like ig you could argue. she's hoping he did secretly care and Evan's a new perspective that's not her parents#or on a meta level it's arguing that teens acting violently or abusively often lack other emotional and communicative outlets#however. the song is not good enough to be attempting either </3#textually it seems like it's trying to do the former in that at no point does zoe see through Evan's premise and responds entirely genuinely#however. booo hiss that makes no sense evan is doing a horrible job of hiding his crush#and zoe either thinking connor was noticing her sexually or just not picking up on it?? for the sake of the duet?? either is bad.#in the former that only gives her more reason to shut off from him and from evan#and the latter just makes her and the writing worse lmfao#Alternatively if we're playing that connor was actually really sweet like evan and she (or we) could and should believe he'd say this#and he didn't know how to express his feelings (even these kind soft observant ones) except through violence#targeted at the objects of those feelings nonetheless!!!!! he cared for zoe but didn't know how to show it and so he harmed her!!!!#and therefore not only should we empathize with him but she should forgive him and immediately relinquish her anger after his death#because he was just so misunderstood and he cared :( never mind her experience directly affected by his actions#shit piss fuck take on humanizing people who abuse or do other violent acts. Dylan klebold apologia ass song#I'm not even like. God I'm all for trying to understand why people engage in destructive behaviors for the purpose of preventing them!#I'm for recognizing the personhood of every human including those who do terrible things. I think we have to.#NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!#god. again. everyone who talked abt this show saving teen mental health owes me money for my 2016 experiences.#also they should have to watch next to normal.
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Maybe I'm just cursed š¤Ŗ
#trigger warning for everything that follows in these tags btw#i am in need of some venting into the void#so im gonna vent#so uh#im almost out of time to find a new job before i have to leave my flat and move back with my parents#in the past 27 days ive filled in 189 job applications#6 of those led to interviews#so far 5 of those have been rejections#i even started looking at jobs that paid way less than i can feasibly live on just so i could at least cover rent and stay here but no luck#anyway thats already sucky#and then ive had to go off my adhd meds because of continuous and annoying fuck ups with my drs and im hesitant to work to fix it cause#might be moving counties anyway lol#my depression is the worst its ever been in about two years i struggle to want to exist day in and day out and#this morning i found out my dog - my baby who i dont live with because i moved cities - he lives with my parents#we found out he has an agressive cancer - and i have to now make choices i dont feel ready to make#and im just#do you ever feel like youre already one the ground but life wont stop kicking you#and i feel#so lonely#my friends are doing everything right my cousin who i live with is always checking in on me and i am still#convincing myself i am being a burden i am the problem i#my whole life is collapsing and i#even writing this all out in tags my brain is yelling at me for being an 'attention seeker' or smth and idk#i just wanna#idk#its complicated ig#im fighting#i am fighting so hard#i just want ppl to know im doing my best thats all#anyone who read all of this - hi - i hope youre having a beautiful day. its all going to be okay in the end š
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every time i find myself harshly criticizing characterization in a fic i feel so bad tbh. bc ik i could get their dynamic right. but i don't know how to write unfortunately. so i can't follow the basic advice of "just make your own". rip
#ofc i never criticize it where the op can see btw. usually without naming or linking either (at least not publicly)#i do so wish i could post it to let it out. but it's such hater behavior. and i AM a hater i just don't want to act on it bc it feels mean#and well since i didn't write anything myself it comes off as hypocritical ig. does that make sense. ofc it does ik some of you will relate
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#lakes can cure everything right ?#<- āif you know something about me it is that i will caption a post this on every webbed site forever.#HIIII i have service everyone say hello to the puppies. they are the lucky charm babies i would die for them#they are so small. in that picture they are one (1) week old!!!!!! i could cry just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!#liv in the replies#anyway this is my semi-annual āhaving unhinged emotional imbalancesā & then i go jump around in a lake and iām cured. great lakes i love u#what i was actually going to say there was also. musher au my beloved i will never write you but you live SO fondly in my brain forever#there are many fics that are my great white whale but that one. that one is up there#currently the whale i am chasing is dewey^2 p2 but my cast is tearing up my computer keyboard and my work schedule has been hilarious#and. yāknow. the aforementioned *** ****** countdown wreaking havoc so!! self-imposed deadline of dewey^2 p2 done by the time my castās off#also i wanted to put in a poll that said lakes? puppies? but tumblr said: no you still canāt have polls#WAIT HOLD ON I FIGURED IT OUTTTTTTT OH MY GOD WAIT THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY#i forgot to tell everyone the bargain that i made sorry to the eleven of u that voted already but. if puppies wins i will tell u their names#if lakes win idk iāll name all the great lakes ig yāall can pick something else fun. i will give u fish pictures from work if u want them
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One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad
#snap chats#p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary#sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment#tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi..#anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME#HE SAID āoh wow we dress similar :)ā and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes#meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf#and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny#so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret š#also i finally asked how tall he was and i canāt believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character heās fuckin 6ā1 like i thought#AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dadās wife :)#it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dadās outfit sheās just like āitās so kdramacoreā AND SHES RIIIGHT šš#we later found out dadās wife loves kpopā¦. and she bought him his new clothesā¦. so we are no longer surprisedā¦.. AWFUL.#honestly i could write a drama based off my dadās life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i#i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time#this train system was weirdā¦ it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again#yeahā¦.. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there#i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like itā¦#anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started#āsnap what happened toā dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream#ok bye š
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ik I've said similar things before but I still cannot believe how many critics thought so poorly of antiviral specifically in ways like "too ham fisted & unsubtle 1/5" bcus while like yes it's very on the nose with a lot of its points it also IS a film that has so much to say that's beyond just the stuff that's on the surface level. there's so much it brings up but leaves for you as the viewer to explore & think about on your own. there's multiple essays worth of thoughts buried in single lines
#like hell i even wrote one going off a single line from levine & could totally write another off of 'youre too good for skin flaps'#plenty of stuff i love is like 'sure i like it but can see why people dont' but this movie is different im very much like#ok if you dont get it youre just too srupid for it & thats ok ig. just dont think you can talk about it <3#but also thags me w all his movies. were all entitled to 1 hill we will die on & mine is defending brandon from critics#texticles
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i can't show my crochet notes to anyone without formatting them first cause they're a bizzare mix of US terms, chinese abbreviations, and UK hook sizes.
why? it's easier to write "2V" than "2sc in next 2st" when writing on paper next to you
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just listened to the og version of letās get married for the first timeā¦.. not impressed to say the least
#complete list of good things jack anton off has ever done:#-having something to do with melodrama ig#-i wanna get better (i didnāt know i was lonely til i saw your face i didnāt know i was broken til i wanted to change . whatever!! you win)#-writing lets get married so mitski could make it 100000000% better. very unexceptional song without her imo#EDIT HOW COULD I FORGET EXISTING SO THAT THE JACK ANTON OFF POST COULD BE MADE
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I literally need to complain abt everything on here or Iāll die
#writing this on the plane so will probably release from drafts when we land#but yeah#um so the guy next to me on the flight is so fucking annoying#listening to whatever bullshit is on his phone out loud ā¦ havent we suffered enough#um what else.#the really expensive makeup that my aunt bought me for once was like ten shades too light#bc she got me and my sister the same shadeā¦ in what worldā¦#I was serving clown#itās a foundation but ig Iāll use it like a concealer#managed to make it look normal after ages then my cousin was like ātake it offā š#but itās crazy tho bc it makes it look like my skin is perfectā¦#maybe my makeup skillls are improving after watching reels tho that is also a possibility#um what else. girl I am sooo tired#Iāve managed to sleep in like 5 minute increments on the flight#I have not slept in like . um.#might have been more than 24 hrs by no#but Iāll sleep well when I get there hopefully#bc itās 3 hours ahead .. meaning you have to sleep earlier and wake up earlierā¦ my nemesis#guys Iām so irrationally annoyed at this man next to me .. could you not have been a handsome azeri boy my age š« š« (delusional)#my illegally downloaded music is serving me well#thereās 3 more hours to the flight and Iām on 70% charge#so š«” just have to hope we make it#also have podcasts downloaded so will pursue
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