#if you wanna play it like that it also says she’s fat which she very clearly is not

[linthehero]

this might be a controversial take but fuck it

drawing any brandon character white or super light skinned weirds me out

[simpjaes]

So Sweet. ― P.JS

The one where Jay, in all of his cherry-flavored thoughts, makes you cherry flavored too. requested here, here, and here 

minors dni 

PAIRING ― park jongseong x afab reader  

WORDCOUNT― 3.8k

CONTENT―   reader is jealous over nothing, NO THIS IS NOT ANGST, mostly just smutty stuff, food play, costume party (jay is wearing cat ears hueheuehue), alcohol is involved but it’s consenting, ya’ll fuck in [redacted]’s room and leave the mess for him to clean up. 

WARNING―  idk, reader is possessive and jealous, kinda crazy. very me tbh. jay kinda just shoves it in even tho it’s painful for her……and keeps going………

NOTE ― happy almost halloween :D this is very short, written with haste, and probably not that good but…….jay, yknow? jay makes it good. 

nsfw tags under cut

nsfw tags― big fat huge cock jay, candy-play, costumes & cat ears, reader sucks his candy like it’s his cock and he nearly combusts over it,  pussy eating, cock stuffing, cream pie

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It’s gotta be the cat ears, you think, as you stare at your boyfriend from across the room. Everyone is a blur, but goddamn something is off tonight. Because, like, why is every fucking woman in this room staring at him like they wanna rip his clothes off?! 

Or, maybe it’s that faux-freshly-fucked blushy glow across his cheeks, or the blinking out of sync that comes paired with his drunken jokes and words. The atmosphere truly is making the usual, stoic, lame-ass Jay appear as nothing but an endearing cat-man who deserves a mouth on him. 

And you know, the fact that you came here with him, with matching ears and a fucking tail, should scare off all these little bitches, yet there they are? Suddenly just so interested in your man?! 

Jake is the first to notice the way you stare, raising a brow in confusion.

“You guys get in a fight or something?” He asks as his own animal-themed ears flop around when he turns his head to you.

“No–” You narrow your eyes at a woman who keeps glancing at your boyfriend as you say it, paying Jake little to no mind. “Just wondering why everyone has a hard-on for my boyfriend right now.”

Jake nods, pouting his lip out and raising a brow as if to silently say “Ah, makes sense.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better–” Jake starts, glancing around the room. “I literally don’t see anyone trying to get it on with him. I think you’re making problems.”

Pause.

“Please. Look at her!” You slightly raise your voice, pointing to a woman who is absolutely not trying to get on Jay’s dick, in fact, she’s literally eyeing Heeseung like she’s about to pounce. 

It’s really just the fact that she’s standing right next to Jay, and you caught her looking at him a few times, and also they had a “conversation” a few days ago. Nevermind that it was a “See ya after break!” type of conversation, or that she said it to everyone, and not specifically to Jay. It’s just that he responded alongside everyone else.

“You’re being annoying.” Jake finally starts to walk away from you, not actually annoyed but more-so amused at how jealous you’ve become solely because you’ve had a few shots. 

It’s not often you drink, after all. 

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Gonna go kiss on your man–” Jake laughs, now rushing his way through a crowd of drinkers and glancing at you when he whispers in your boyfriend’s ear.

You watch the way Jay falls into a face of concentration trying to hear his friend, and then see his eyes flick to you. 

Oh, well that’s just great. Surely Jake isn’t actually trying to hit on Jay, he’s probably over there snitching like a little asshole. Which sucks because this relationship with Jay is….it’s kinda new, you know? You don’t want to come across as the possessive type, or like– controlling.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You find yourself panicking when Jay stumbles his way over to you, a newly unwrapped lollipop hanging half from his lips as he sips his drink around the candy, and only spilling it once solely because he keeps his eyes on you rather than his footing. Jake is left behind, now beside that girl that clearly wants Heeseung to bone her into the next dimension, looking uncomfortable and left out. 

Good. She deserves it. 

“So…” Jay says as he stands next to you, leaning back against the wall and snaking one arm behind you to grab at your waist. “Someone’s jealous?”

You fold in on yourself a little bit, feeling that grip he gives to you that forces you against his side. 

“Of course not.” You mumble, sipping from your cup and still staring out into the room of people. “Why would you ever think that?”

“Jake said so.” Jay laughs now, leaning his head over to whisper under your ear. “You saying he’s lying?”

His breath sends a shiver down your spine just as the song changes to that of muffled bass, loud enough to have you wanting to cover your ears.

“Yes–” You start. 

“Huh?” Jay pulls back to look at you. 

“Yes, he’s lying.” You try again.

“What?”

Before you try to answer again, you feel him pull you. Around a corner, up, up, and away from the booming music one floor up. He lands you in someone’s room, fuck if you know who’s.

“Hm?”

Your breath catches in your throat when you look at him now. No one else in the room to muffle that croak in his drunken voice, those blushed cheeks, the fucking ears.

“I said, he’s lying.” You say meekly, unable to tear your eyes from the little split in his lip, reddened by the candy hanging from his mouth. 

His breath smells of cherry and tequila when he leans closer, tilting his head playfully to look into your eyes, as if to check if you’re the one lying. 

“Is that so?” He says, pulling the lollipop from his lips and sucking the taste down his throat, allowing that scent to waft through your nose yet again. “So you don’t mind knowing Jake’s ex tried to get my number?” 

Your eyes widen before they narrow. You cross your arms and look away from him.

“Of course not.” You lie. 

“And you wouldn’t care that I gave it to her?” He says now, hovering his lips near yours, eyes hooded as he plays with his words. 

That makes your blood boil though, and no longer can you sit here and pretend like you wouldn’t bring out the claws and start pulling hair if it comes to it. After all, that bitch was a homewrecker! Totally broke Jake’s heart and has the audacity to come to parties when she knows he will be here? And she asked for Jay’s number?!

And he gave it to her?! Jay chuckles when he pulls back, popping the candy back into his mouth as he studies the shift in your nonchalant vibe. He stays silent though, amused, waiting for you to argue until he notices the way your eyes fall. 

No longer annoyed, but hurt.

In all fairness, that silence he gave you after that had you thinking…he really gave her his number?

“Baby–” Jay soothes now, pushing the lollipop to his cheek with his tongue so he can speak as clearly as he can despite the slur in his speech from the drinks. “I’m joking.”

The relief washes over your drunken mind, feeling better but now back to being irritated. What’s with him right now? You don’t exactly want to be jealous, but the fact that he’s making damn sure that you were is kinda…like, is he into that? Does he want you to be possessive?

You’d be lying though, if you said he didn’t look hot as hell the other day pulling you closer to his side because a store clerk looked at you for a second too long. You might’ve even swooned a bit. 

“You’re a dick.” You finally respond, shoving him back playfully, unable to hide the relieved smile on your lips. “Looking hot-and-bothered all night, leaving me in a random room only for me to see you talking with some girl after finding you again.” 

He lends you his own laugh now, wiggling his eyebrows before popping the candy out of his mouth again. “Oh, her? The girl who Heeseung basically just finger fucked on the kitchen counter?”

You pause for a second, unsure as to why that sounds hot. Maybe just because she’s not after your man? Or maybe you like, wish you’d have seen.

“And you didn’t even take me to see?!” You go to playfully shove him again, but he stops you with his own gentle shove. Straight against the door, getting up real close to your face before whispering.

“So, you were jealous?” That slur in his speech is nowhere to be found before you taste the explosion of cherry. You’re kind of just staring at him, nodding out an admittance as his eyes fall lower, to where he’s tracing the bulbous head of that lollipop against your bottom lip. “Hot.”

“You’re going to drive me insane, you know that?” You finally say after the fourth or fifth time he’s swiped that lollipop against you, adding a translucent sheen to your already alcohol-sweet lips. 

“Mhm.” He nods triumphantly, now pushing the candy past your lips and into your mouth. “Should’ve came over and let me finger fuck you on the counter next, would that have made you feel better?” 

You roll your eyes playfully, ignoring the throb between your legs at his bold words. Jay isn’t typically this feisty, though you’d have totally let him do such a thing regardless of the eyes that could see. You just, like, didn’t really think he’d be willing to do something like that.

“I learn something new about you every day.” You chuckle out, noting the way he stares at your mouth and the way you suck on his lollipop. 

“Got loads of secrets for you, babe–” He smirks, taking initiative now and pressing his palms down on your shoulders, as if to make you lower yourself to the floor. Which, of course you do. You sink down, feeling the wooden door behind you sturdy and strong. As you do, he reaches over, locking the door.

What you think is about to be the best head of his life turns out to be him sinking down with you, slotting himself between your legs on the floor and pinning you there with his hands against the door. His head tilts cutely, the cat ears now looking more realistic than ever.

He doesn’t look like a curious little black cat anymore, he looks like he’s hunting for prey as he looks at you. 

“Look at you,” He says, more serious and without that smirk before he takes the candy back. “So, so cute.”

You’re melting against him after those words, feeling his tongue lick against your lips before you can even return to compliment. It’s sweet, red coated tongues creating a sugary mess, hums and pleasant sounds leave both of you at the flavor, only to deepen the kiss because neither of you can really get enough of it either. 

You reach up in the kiss, petting the ears on his head despite knowing he can’t feel it the way a real feline would, but he reacts all the same. Totally into it, even, nearly roleplaying as he groans. Maybe he’s just amused that you did that, or maybe he’s wondering if you’ll pull at his next or something. 

And in this kiss that seems to never end, he gets touchy. Pushing and pulling you to both give and take control, one hand moving from cupping your face, to gently holding your neck, up until it finds its way down down down, then up your scanty shirt. 

Totally lost in it, both of you are. With you skewing his ears to scratching at the nape of his neck, to him groping, and suddenly– prodding that same lollipop that you’d forgotten about between both of your lips. He’s amused when you lick it, the dulling cherry flavor coming back into the kiss with full force between you as he pulls back, red salvia stains all around his mouth before the smirk is back.

He watches as you take it back into your mouth, his own hand pushing it in and out, watching you chase it when he tries to pull it out entirely, only to shove it back in, deeper. That’s when he groans, pinching your nipple through your shirt particularly hard due to the sheer arousal that rushes to his cock. It lends him a little throb, a dribble of pre-cum messing his pants.

That about does it for him, pulling the candy out of your mouth now despite the way you chase it pitifully. He pops it into his own temporarily so he can go straight for what he not only wants, but needs right now. You watch him, a little dazed with the way his hair matches perfectly with the color of the cat ears, now a little crooked due to your meddling. 

He goes straight for it too, reaching under your skirt and practically tearing your panties off of you before he’s spreading your thighs wide and re-adjusting himself back between your legs. 

You squeak a little in response, proud of the unintentional sound because it’s very in character for the whole, you know, matching cat costume thing. And he only responds with another kiss, the sucker now removed from his mouth as he offers the flavor through his own saliva. 

Drinking it up is easy as you lick into his mouth, feeling the way his fingers toy with your folds, sliding up and down the slippery heat before–

“Jay–” You pull back, confused at the new feeling between your legs as you look at him.

His pupils are wide when he looks at you, mouth still slack from the kiss you were in the middle of, shoulder moving in tune with each push inside of you. He doesn’t respond, lost entirely in the moment and so fucking horny over what he’s doing to you right now. 

He kisses against you again, moving his hand faster, deeper, when his lips reach your neck. 

“Cherry girl.” He mumbles mindlessly, kissing down your neck and to the exposed skin on your chest that your shirt offers. “Tastes good on you.” He continues to mumble, working his way down as he kisses over your clothes up until he dips under your skirt. “In you.”

So, yeah, you’re being fucked with a well-abused lollipop and you’re not ashamed to moan about it because, holy shit.

His mouth is on you harder than it was when he was making out with you previously. Chasing the flavor, moaning for it, gripping your ass and pulling you closer against his tongue. You grip at the hard floor under you, unable to grasp anything at all through the sudden and intense jolts of pleasure.

And he doesn’t stop moaning, that sucker still being pushed in and out of you, only pulled out briefly for him to, presumably, shove it in his mouth before circling his lips around your clit with a hard suck. And he does that over and over again, like a loop of intended pleasure where he’s just fucking drowning in all of his favorite flavors. 

To not be into this is insane, to not grip onto something is even crazier. You reach down, pulling your skirt up just to see the way his eyes are rolled back, totally unable to make eye contact with you as he relishes in the red-sugar flavor of your cunt. The image alone makes you roll your hips up, which leads to him moaning louder for you to do it again, and again, essentially fucking yourself both on your boyfriend’s tongue, and his candy. 

In the heat of the moment, you finally find your grip in his hair, pulling it so tightly between your fingers that you know it’s hurting him, but he seems to like it. Another secret of his, you guess, as you keep doing that, pulling his hair, riding up against the pleasure he’s offering, and then– god the fucking ears. 

So cute on a man doing something so filthy and messy. You can’t hold it, you just–

“Fuck, keep going–” You stutter out in time with your hips, jerking back and forth both towards and away from him. “Right there,”

Jay is beyond pleased knowing he can make you cum this way. It wasn’t exactly in the plan to fuck his girlfriend like this tonight, but he’s glad he did. Especially seeing you chase the pleasure like this. He’s quick to maintain his rhythm, pushing the lollipop in right at the perfect angle, lips and tongue vibrating against your clit in a way that forces your hips forward, unmoving, stiff and you release. 

He can feel it, that sticky sweet slick dripping out of you, pulsing with each rush of pleasure. It takes everything in him not to abandon your clit and drink it all up, but he’s stronger than (barely). He’s good to you, waiting until that grip in his hair finally loosens before–

You’re pulling twice as hard at it now. Feeling the way he gives you no seconds to recover. He’s immediately pushing his face back down, licking everything that’s dripped out of you and letting it slide down his throat before finally pulling the lollipop out of you.

And he continues to lick, and lick, and lick, sucking and still fucking you with his tongue, lollipop gripped in his hand, pressing it against your thigh as if it’s forgotten about.

You try to wiggle away from him, the sensitivity too much from the image of him going feral, to the way he’s licking inside of you, to the forceful push of his nose right against your sensitive clit. And it’s so fucking crazy too, the way you’re still throbbing, the way you feel a second orgasm coming far too soon to the point you know it’ll hurt. 

You grip at his hair again, accidentally unclipping one of his ears as you have to force him to come up for air. More for your sake, in all honesty, but fuuuuck, it’s hard to hold him here with the way he’s looking at you now.

Lost, confused, even a bit…insane.

“I can’t–”

He tries to push back down, tongue falling out of his mouth when you keep that grip in his hair. 

“Jay, It hurts.”

“Fuck, baby,” He starts in an out of breath groan, totally forgetting about the nearly-disintegrated lollipop as it drops to the floor. “Just really, really need it right now.” 

In that action, you see Jay act more desperate than he ever has, grabbing you by the ankles and pulling you further down, forcing your legs open despite the sensitivity. You swear you hear him purr when he looks between your legs, witnessing a wet mess of sweetness, only to see even more the truth of his words now. 

You see the truth of how badly he needs it in the way he takes that sticky hand of his and pushes it down his pants, not even unbuttoning them before aggressively palming against himself, panting out for you to give him more. 

God. You think you might be in love with this guy. Too soon.

Too fucking soon.

What does it matter if you’re sensitive? Fucking look at him. He’s dying for it.

And so, you spread your legs wider, embarrassingly wiggling down to lock your legs around your sweet, black-cat of a boyfriend who can’t stop furiously jerking off. 

“Take it then.” You coo out, wiggling your open cunt right in front of his lap.

He doesn’t take his time either, shoving his too-tight pants down his thighs, shifting onto his knees, and immediately stuffing his cock into that same sugary slick. He holds his breath at first before releasing an insanely broken moan at the grip of your cunt around him.

The moan nearly sounds like he’s in pain, muttering half-words that can’t articulate a damn meaning even if he tried. Totally lost in the tightness, he barely notices you wrapping your legs around his waist, suffering through the way he knows he’s big, and ignoring how usually he always takes it slow so you can adjust. 

Not this time. No, you feel each pulse try to rip your hole just to accommodate the thickness he offers. And he just moans more at the way you wince, practically drooling on yourself as you clench, and squeeze, and hold onto him as if you’ll fall off the face of the earth if you were to let go. 

His mind is clear enough to hold you in return though, only because he knows it’s about to hurt more before it starts feeling better for you. Unfortunately, his mind is also just foggy enough to give you the short relief of his thick cock leaving you, only to slam in again, harder. 

You cry out at it, nails nearly digging straight through his shirt as you instinctively try to hold onto him through the pain. He soothes you through each pleasurable sound. Out-of-breath hums and moans right in your face when he presses his forehead to yours, each painful thrust followed with a compliment and a grunt. 

“So good, baby, so–” 

“You’ve taken it so many times before, fuck, just a bit more–” 

“Just relax. Please, baby, I know it hurts.”

Eventually, your body does relax, accommodating his size and painful plunges into you. Up until the rhythm is natural and the slapping of where your bodies meet sounds like nothing but a pornographic mess of pleasure. 

Both of you now losing it, you let Jay be the one to take it. You let him fuck freely, as hard as he wants, as loud as he wants up until you’ve had at least two more orgasms and you’re barely able to open your eyes, better yet function.

You don’t know where he got this stamina, considering most nights when you’re together it’s a one and done thing. Then again, most nights he doesn’t fuck you with halloween candy, eat it out of you, then fuck it back into you. 

When he finally reaches his climax though. Oh, oh god. You think you might’ve let the word “love” slip from your slack lips upon feeling his cum inside of you, pumping out and filling you up beyond what’s normal for him. 

You wonder if that little slip of words made him last longer, because goddamn did he hold you closer, and fuck did he kiss you like he never has before through the orgasm.

And when it’s all said and done, the two of you are left out of breath, a sticky mess of pink-tinted cum, salty sweat, and nearly bruised lips. You’d say it should be embarrassing to walk out of whoever’s room this is, but you actually find yourself giggling into your boyfriend’s side during the walk of shame. 

Mostly because you left the room together to find an entire circle of people outside of the door, presumably listening in. Which is…yeah, they’re weirdos. Then again, the two of you didn’t really make it into the room before all of this started. You guess you’d probably listen too if someone was getting fucked against a door.

The giggling though, that comes from learning who owns the bedroom you just got candy-fucked in. His wide eyes narrowing upon witnessing who was in there is probably the funniest thing you’d seen all night. 

Poor Sunghoon. You’d have cleaned up the mess if your legs were working properly.

But they’re not, so, good luck to him, you guess.

[petew21-blog]

Friends with benefits

Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.

This is Trent

Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks

On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair

This is Brett

So hairy.

Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon

Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM

Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"

Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"

Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"

Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM

At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.

Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"

Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"

Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"

Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"

Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."

Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"

Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."

After a few beers

Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"

Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."

Brett:"So what did you do?"

Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"

Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"

Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"

Brett:"You calling me fat?"

Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"

Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"

They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.

Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth

Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.

Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.

He turned around to get up

His body. He has a different body

Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up

Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"

He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.

He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"

He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.

He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband

Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick

It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"

There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock

Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"

Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"

Trent:"So this is your doing?"

Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"

Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"

Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"

Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"

Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"

Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"

Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"

Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."

Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"

Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"

Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"

Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"

Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up

Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"

Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"

Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick

Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM

Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.

A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"

Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress

Trent:"You need to stop!"

Brett:"What? I was just flirting"

Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"

Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"

Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"

Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"

A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads

Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"

Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"

Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."

Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"

Trent:"And your point is?"

Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"

Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"

Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"

Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"

Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"

Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"

Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"

Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"

Brett:"So you agree?"

Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"

Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"

Sunday, August 4th

Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"

Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."

Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"

Trent:"And my dick..."

Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"

Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"

Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"

Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"

Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"

Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"

Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"

Wednesday August 7th

Trent:"How are you settling in?"

Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"

Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"

Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"

Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"

Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"

Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"

Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"

Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."

Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?

Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"

Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"

Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"

Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"

Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."

Brett:"Sure thing, bye"

Monday, August 12 th

Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"

Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"

Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"

Saturday, August 17th

Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"

Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"

Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"

Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"

Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"

Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"

Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"

Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"

Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"

Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."

Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"

Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?

Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"

Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.

Thursday, August 22nd

Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"

Friday, August 23rd

Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."

Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"

Sunday, August 25th

Brett:"I'm ok"

Trent:"What the hell happened?"

Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"

Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"

Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"

Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"

Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"

Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"

Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."

Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"

Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"

Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"

Sunday, September 1st

Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"

Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"

Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"

Monday, September 2nd

Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games

The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table

Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."

Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"

Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"

Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"

Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."

Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"

Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"

Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"

Trent:"You want money?"

Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."

Trent:"You have lost your mind"

Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett stands up and goes towards Trent

Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge

Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"

Brett:"Atta boy"

They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin

The kissed even more

Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different

Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"

Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"

Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"

He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready

Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole

Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain

Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"

Trent:"Brett, please slow down"

Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"

Trent:"Please, get lube or something"

Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"

Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time

Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.

Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."

Brett:"Louder"

Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"

Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"

The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face

Trent watched in awe what just happened.

Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"

Trent:"Brett... I?"

Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"

Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"

Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"

Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.

Several months later

Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up

Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"

Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"

Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"

Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"

Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"

Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed

Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"

A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas

Hope you like it :)

P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes

[loseractivities]

Ok time to yap about Billy Loomis. What is bros sexuality?

Billy is 100% gay. I also think that he’s on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, with the best label fitting him being demiaroace. In simple terms, I think the only way he feels authentic romantic/sexual attraction is when he has a very deep emotional, (whether he likes to admit that or not), bond with someone.

People often like to bring up his romantic relationship with Sidney and his sexual affairs with other women, one of which we have proof of in the later movies. Because he was dating Sidney before his mom even left, and they were known to have started off “hot and heavy”, (as Billy likes to call it), he didn’t really have any reason to be doing that. Or did he?!

It goes without being said that Billy is a conventionally attractive white male in the ‘90s. In the movie, we already see Billy’s efforts to appear as normal as possible, wearing bland clothes with little room for interpretation and speaking very little to others. Which leads to why Billyboy was sleeping with girls when he was a big fat QUEER!! …

Billy loves control! He loves it, he loves planning everything out and acting it out like it’s a movie because of his dumb special interest. He loves predictability, he loves feeling normal, and he loves having control over people. What better way to feel in control, (perhaps of his own sexuality), than by sleeping with and casually dating girls!! It makes so much sense.

How does Stu play into this?

Well firstly Stu is Billy’s only real friend. Through subtext we can tell that Billy trusts Stu a lot, considering he trusted him to 1. Call Sidney while he was in jail. 2. Be ghostface with him and have him not tell anyone. 3. Literally fucking stab him… The list goes on. People like to say that Stu didn’t know Billy’s real motive too, which is fucking stupid because why wouldn’t Billy tell him this?? One entire year between murdering Sidney’s mother and then eventually attempting to murder her and all her friends, and you’re telling me Stu wouldn’t have suspected a thing? Just for fun?? Yeah right!

Also people try to say “okay, well then why did Billy stab him so much in the kitchen if he wasn’t trying to kill him”? Firstly it was always part of the plan for Stu and Billy to be the only survivors because only one survivor is extremely suspicious. Secondly you can tell he was just not thinking clearly, he acted on his anger and lost focus of his goal (KILLING SIDNEY??NOT HIS BF??) which is something he NEVER DOES!!

Man,, the whole final act is my favorite, because it really shows both Billy and Stu coming apart and quite literally COMING OUT as the killers. Come on guys. Media. Fucking. Literacy. They literally penetrate each other right in front of Billy’s girlfriend, and that shit was freaky as fuck.

ANYway I’m going off on a tangent. I do wanna talk about why Billy didn’t explicitly say anything about being gay when he so very obviously is. Billy, in all areas, is much less obvious than Stu.

He’s closed off, secretive, keeps up a pretty believable facade to everyone until the finally is able to drop the act. It makes sense he isn’t as physically or verbally affectionate with Stu, and for this reason people are more inclined to believe Stu is gay and in love with Billy more than Billy is gay and in love with him. Well, in order to get a good sense of Billy’s relationship with Stu, you have to look deeper. Let’s start with some things from the script, since there are very few scenes with the two interacting.

Stu and Billy, in the script, are best friends, have known each other since kindergarten, and are partners in crime. Billy obviously is capable of forming strong bonds and connections with very specific people. Even unhealthily so, and we see this in the relationship he has with his mother. He idolizes her, victimizes her, makes her more than she was as a coping mechanism and never officially comes to terms with the fact his mom probably wasn’t as great as he remembers. And when his mom leaves, he breaks, needs control (as stated previously) because his life is suddenly unstable and who does he turn to? Stu!

Also I just wanna say when Stu drapes over his back Billy leans into him okay thanks. Body language in this movie means SO FUCKING MUCH TO ME these actors did amazing. When Billy follows Sidney inside the look of CONTEMPT ON HIS FACE!! The way he looks through his eyelashes. The acting is impeccable Skeety, I love you!!!! 😐😐 Also the way Billy looks at Stu before stabbing himmm…He;s in love I promise. In whatever way he knows how

Lastly the boy has autism

Passionate interests, he loves horror movies and constantly references them throughout the film. Even at unconventional times, like when his girlfriend is venting about her dead mother. Eye contact and too much staring. Meltdowns when overstimulated. The whole last act was just him stimming and destroying shit because stuff didn’t go his way. Bad reactions when plans are interrupted. At the staircase when Sid runs away he punches himself in frustration. Talks with hands in Sidney’s room about The Exorcist. Favorite person/people (his mom and Stu). Extremely overdramatic. When he got fake stabbed. When he falls down the fucking stairs for no reason. Finally, just socially awkward. Any word out of his mouth makes people uneasy. Ez

…Finally for Billy I js wanna say he arches it a lot and I think only someone who takes it like a good boy wpu;ld do that Ok im done by.e

LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE THIS ONE

[citruslullabies]

Forgive me if this is weird, but I'd kind of like to see some moments of Dogday acting like a dog.

I'll do some minis since they're fast, darling

This is a judgement free zone so it isn't weird!! Also I wanna try something new so let me know if it's good

So for starters, we know Dogday can howl,

But he can also bark

He finds it embarrassing, but only does it if he needs too

The house was peaceful, with soft breathing and light music being the only noise as Dogday was pressed against you while you scratched behind his ears.

He sighed happily, drifting off into his own paradise where it was just you and him. Maybe in a house better than this one, with a garden in the backyard and gloves big enough for his hands to help it. But his mind quickly drew blank with annoyance when yipping and yelping started echoing through the room, opening his eyes and looking down at the causes.

Peanuts yipped at Cubby to play while Cubby growled and snapped her little mouth at him, while Biscuits was trying to play with his planes. She suddenly snatched one of the toy cars in her mouth and went to walk off with it while Peanuts was whimpering loudly, and Biscuits mreowing at him softly and trying to press his little blue plane against Peanut's cheek to cheer him up. Dogday quickly put the commotion to an end, and he... Barked? Fully barked to get them to stop, and it worked. He huffed and snuggled back up with you as you snorted and just continued to scratch him behind the ears before murmuring. "Didn't know you could do that, puppy."

He also likes to mark you

Not in a weird way, but he marks you with his paws and head

Dogs and cats both like to rub scent glands on things that they claim is theirs (that's actually why dogs will kick in the dirt and nuzzle and cats make biscuits)

You let out a long sigh as you sat down in bed after a long day of work, gently undoing a few buttons on your shirt as you plopped down. Dogday came in a few moments later, shutting the door behind him and turning keeping the lights off as to not bother you. "Angel? Is everything alright?" He asked softly. You groaned and nodded. "Just stressed.."

He nodded before sitting down beside you, making the bed creak under his weight but not break. He stared at you for a few minutes, before snuggling with you. However his nose quickly caught the smell of someone else, which was your boss. As unhappy as he was he didn't say anything, since he didn't wanna stir anything. He knew you wouldn't be that type of person.

So he instead, very quietly started to scratch and rub your back with his large hands as he nuzzled his fat head into your neck and face. You snorted and looked over at him. "You trying to give me a massage?" You joked, which caused him to shrug with a hum. "You could say that."

You eventually fell asleep, sound in his arms as he relaxed with a sigh. Smiling as he shut his eyes with his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, since you finally smelled right again. You smelled like his again.

He thinks he's a lapdog.

No, really

This large humanoid dog who is 6× your size thinks he is a lapdog

"Dogday get off-!" You said, struggling to breathe as your overgrown mutt laid down in your lap, after you had only sat down for a minute as the water in the kitchen was boiling. You huffed and continued to try and push but he was just too heavy.

"Dogday, please! I have to go make dinner!" You desperately tried to reason, but he would not budge and instead closed his eyes while pretending to sleep. You groaned and tilted your head back against the couch, huffing and giving up. Before you scratched his head in defeat. "You're an asshole." You huffed, and from the apparently 'sleeping' figure you felt a rumble as a chuckle and saw a small smirk. Jerk.

Thanks for requesting my lovely!

[anim-ttrpgs]

An absolutely incredible review of the beta version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy by review Willy Muffin on youtube, complete with visuals and actual analysis!

I'm going to also add to this post a comment that I left on the video, offering further insight into the design intentions of the game, though the comment might not make as much sense if you haven't watched the video yet.

Hey, lead writer of Eureka here, first of all I wanna say how good and professional this review is, it’s almost indescribable how it feels to see our project taken so seriously and given real analysis, complete with visuals and everything! We would be super impressed and happy with it even if you didn’t like the game—but luckily it sounds like you loved it hahaha

I’d also like to address a few things throughout the video, not as arguments or rebuttals, just further developer insight for everyone

Re: “Urban Fantasy.” “Urban Fantasy” is basically just another term for “modern fantasy”, just a fantasy story that takes place in the 20th or 21st century and deals with the intersection of contemporary life with the supernatural, and it might be an Americanism, or even a Southern-ism, since it has a lot of connections and origins in the living folklore of New Orleans, so I shouldn’t be surprised it isn’t a term everyone is familiar with. Just think of it as the kind of genre where instead of the vampire living in a secluded scary castle, his name is Phil and he’s your roommate haha. What We Do in the Shadows, Shadowrun, and the World of Darkness games are all some other good examples of “urban fantasy.”

Re: Scooby-Doo. Oh we would LOVE for you to run a Scooby-Doo-like wacky mystery with Eureka. Even though the main tone is dark and gritty and noir, we did intentionally build it so that it could run more lighthearted stuff as well! There’s even a few Scooby-Doo references to be found throughout the text, and if we hit a certain stretch goal on the Kickstarter, we’re going to be adding a bunch of Scooby-gang-inspired traits, including the option to play a Talking Dog!

Re: Combat being the largest section, even larger than Investigation. First of all, that’s kind of an illusion that is the result of the game being unfinished. I have a tendency when I write rules to use really long sentences, overexplain things, repeat myself, etc, and that dramatically bloats the rules text and page count, but that’s why we have an editor! She goes through after the fact and trims most of the fat off my bloated writing style to make it flow smoother and read faster, and take up less space. The PDF that was read for this review has had the Investigation chapter copy-edited (and cut down in size by about 25%!), but the editor hasn’t gotten to the combat chapters yet, so they still have a hugely inflated page count. When she’s done with them, you can expect each combat chapter to also be cut down in size by about 25%, so they won’t be nearly so large a chunk of the book.

Secondly, I’ll explain our reasoning for why the combat chapters and advanced combat rules are such a big chunk of the rules text, it’s intentional design which I will now explain. If anyone still doesn’t agree with that design, that’s fair, and that’s why we made the Basic Combat Rules an option.

The reason that the advanced combat rules are the default, and the reason they exist at all, is because it incentivizes and rewards Investigation. If combat is super deadly, it makes Investigation, snooping, and spying more appealing than kicking down the door and getting your head blown off. But of combat is super deadly, it also needs to be very deep and tactical, because if it’s deadly but shallow, then there’s no player agency. “Combat starts, roll some dice, okay your guy is dead.” That’s no fun. So by adding rules and modifiers for cover/elevation, distance, the difference between a pistol and an assault rifle, etc. we make it so that not only is combat its own high-stakes puzzle, but make it so that when the PCs HAVE to engage in combat, all their investigation can really pay off and save their lives. Spying on a building to find out the number of goons stationed there and how they are armed helps you plan and assess risk, stealing the blueprints to the building helps you know how to get the drop on the goons, and know the best places to attack from so that they are stuck out in the open and you are not, etc. and having rules for those things means that all the PCs’ snooping and planning makes a real mechanical difference in whether they live or die.

That’s just my opinion though, and one of the biggest reasons WHY we decided to write the combat with as much depth as we did.

Anyway, thank you again for this review and analysis of our project, our Kickstarter jumped up by about ten more backers in the evening when this video went up after several days of no new backers, and we have to assume we have this video, and all of you watching and reading this, to thank. You’re really making our dreams come true. :)

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is kickstarting from right now until May 10th! Back it while you still can!

If you want to try before you buy, you can download a free demo of the prerelease version from our website or our itch.io page!

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

You can also support us on Ko-fi, or by checking out our merchandise!

Join our TTRPG Book Club At the time of writng this, Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game being played in the book club, and anyone who wants to participate in discussion, but can’t afford to make a contribution, will be given the most updated prerelease version for free! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[seahagart]

What are Drifa's first opinions of the companions before she gets to know them?

Lae'zel: First companion she would meet, immediately understands she's very brave and 'knows what she's doing', respects. As time goes on, I think Drífa's indifference towards her comments/insults would wane, she would ignore it/not understand what she's saying, or would just think she's making a comment like 'you have an ugly large nose' and drifa is like 'you have no nose, see drífa have eyes', then would probably get tired of it, poking the bear, but remain stoic which i think would bother lae'zel more than getting a reaction lolol. Lae'zel hates Drífa... or does she.... :)

Shadowheart: Second companion, small elf girl, anytime shadowheart is like 'i don't wanna talk about it' drífa's like 'aight' and leaves, which is why shadowheart likes her now. Drífa is concerned, a small elf all alone. Feels shes quite small and fragile to be into the things shes talking about, but whatever. literally has no idea who shar is so is like 'cool goddess, i respect your faith' because drifa also follows a rather fierce goddess. Drifa prefers to listen over talking, so they get along well. shadowheart is desperately trying to smash rn

Gale: Pulled this weirdo out of a rock, a malnourished human, appears sickly. Drífa is confused by most of what he says, but he is rather poetic so she enjoys the 'nonsense' he talks about. Now she has 3 main landers to take care of. Gale talks way too much, but it is entertaining to her. She does not like that he believes he could compete with a goddess.... the gods are gods for a reason, to think you could understand their meaning, or be equal to one is conceited to her. She understands it's because of 'love', but she is weary. Gale is trying to smash now in my play through.

Astarion: weird little malnourished elf man. He also talks to much. Drífa has two talkative dramatic tiny boys and two ladies that hate each other so she's kinda remembering why she lived in isolation for 35 years. Astarion she probably views like a cat, like seeks attention when he wants it, eats what he wants, believes he's the best one here. She is not afraid of him being a vampire because she simply would never let an elf fell her, that would be a true dishonor. he's mildly offended. She doesn't tolerate his dislike of children, but typically doesn't really care what he does.

Wyll: Another little guy with sad eyes. Another human. Drifa likes him, he's polite, seems to know what he's doing, seems 'the most normal' plus has seen his share of battle (like lae'zel) so she's glad to have him along. Obviously when things go down she's like 'wow... yet another guy with baggage with a blue lady...' side eying gale. She likes his stories, listens intently to his deeds of good and protecting the sword coast, overall likes him but is still like 'here is another small human- oops small devil for my collection'

Karlach: Finally someone who looks like they're a warrior. Likes her, feels like she doesn't need to protect/take care of, which is good so she can focus her energies on the softies of the party. Drífa would like Karlach, she's a bit blunt and a bit more energetic than Drífa is used to, but probably likes that. Karlach's dancing, lust for life, and fire would be highly approved. I think Drífa wouldn't really get why she's sad about not being touched

Halsin: another gd ELF, but this ones big and can turn into a bear so thats ok. I think they'd have a lot in common but Drífa views him more as a tree hugger. She appreciates nature, so i think they could get along well.... though she finds him confusing... she doesn't feel like she needs to worry about him, and he's pretty forward and upfront so it works out well.

There are all first impressions. Drífa was raised to take care of herself and herself only, keep to her own, and that strength = power, because her lifestyle is very physically demanding. Being big and strong is important, being fat and strong is more important to survive frozen winters etc. She is a loner suddenly surrounded by people for the first time in her life, and is doing her best to keep them alive because obviously they need her help and this is a mission given to her by her goddess, why else would she have sent the ship to take her, to bring her to these people...

[candycryptids]

THEN vs NOW with Chuu- my first character and also my Main. She went through big changes! I started playing like 4-5 years ago (who can remember exact dates, really?)

Cut cos it’s gonna get uh, image heavy.

Would you believe she didn’t get fat until like 2023? It feels like she’s always been fat in my heart but no… she was skinny for a long time… that’s wild. She was a summoner main ride or die for like EVER too lmfao also, I don’t actually have many good pictures of “early Chuu” because I played on a laptop that gasped for life every day I played until I upgraded to a PC I built in like, I wanna say ‘21? So every screenshot has incredibly crusty resolution and you can’t zoom at all xD

Here’s my attempts at mystery- back when EW was announced I decided Chuu was going to make a “clone of herself, but less attractive, and a man” which lead to some fun internal studies on what she found attractive about herself to begin with in the later stages of Tuesdays actual FR development.. there wasn’t a way to make the mannequin float in a tank I tried really hard 😩😂

You can see I started getting more into modding tho c: back in the days where Mods were loaded via Textools and affected everybody and we just ???? Coped.

And then in like, January ‘22 I discovered….. scaling with Anam. Which was tricky; when I did a pose, I had to remember to load her scaling, and then also adjust any skirts she had on, because otherwise she’d be too fat and simply clip through them…. Chuu went through an explicitly Only Pants and Shirts Phase xD

“When did Chuu get so dark like nowadays?” Apparently, Post Being A Lalafell. And then an Au’ra. this is also when I started really gaining steam in non-vanilla gposes, but it didn't actually fully take off to the races until sometime in mid-late '23/early '24 I think.

(thanks @meatybits for sometimes doing shitposts on my poses I always love them x3)

I can’t even pinpoint when Customize+ became a thing I was using which kinda sucks because it really changed the game for me LOL. Chuu got to be fat ALL the time! Forever! Fat Bunny!!! This was a slippenslide to customizing everyone a little bit forever, but I dont think I’ll ever regret it u_u

I like fat people and I like being chubby irl and I like making characters that deviate from the expected norms because I’m Ace, Agender, and Aro, and Poly+married, and I like it that way!

Bonus! The very first screenshot I could find featuring Chuu, ever! Taken by Talia (the Roe)

I was tagged by @displaykitkats and more people insisted I should do this than I can think of and further still have ALREADY done it- so just thank you for reading this jumbled mess if you did and you should give it a shot if you want to :)

[dedfishs]

ranmaru has bpd or atleast in my opinion

yttd spoilers!!!!!!

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okay so firstly i just wanna say that this isnt me saying that hes totally bpd coded, and that alot of this is just me projecting hard onto him 😭😭😭😭 but despite that i do still think that he has alot of bpd symptoms from everything we saw of him in the short time he was in the game because bpdmaru is REAL TO ME!!!!!!!!

buckle up cause this is gonna be a long one

1. chronic feelings of emptiness

this can be seen in his reference sheet, where it states that he generally just goes to school and isnt passionate about anything, as well as sometimes going into spurts of worry

(sry for the terrible quality)

bpd and feelings of emptiness can come from many things, such as being abandoned (or having perceived being abandoned) but for ranmaru, i personally think it stems for an insecure sense of self

bpd can lead people into having a very unstable sense of image, which can also be accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and loneliness. and for me personally, this feeling just causes me to not feel anything, feel like nothing is important and that im just neutral about everything, but there is still a sense of dread in my chest, which i think could explain ranmarus spurts of worries.

its important to remember that this can present in a totally different way for one person than it would for the other, and that feelings of emptiness can last for a short while, or for a prolonged period of time. everyone with bpd is different and different situations can trigger different emotions ^_^

2. ranmarus relationship with sara

okay so first i just wanna clarify this ofcourse isnt canon and is just my own interpretation for ranmarus actions and his relationship witbsara 😭😭😭😭 but everytime someone calls him a yandere a majestic angel with beautiful prince disorder loses their wings

ranmarus behaviour towards sara is a MAJOR topic in the yttd fandom, and personally i do think it has to do with bpd

for alot of people with bpd, when they meet someone new who is kind, shows them genuine care and is overall just friendly towards them, the bpd person can view them veryyyyyyyyy highly, and can become attached very quickly. this is called idealisation

"Idealization is a psychological or mental process of attributing overly positive qualities to another person or thing. It's a way of coping with anxiety in which a person is viewed as perfect, or as having exaggerated positive qualities."

i do think this is what is happening with ranmaru. having only met sara very recently (literally like. 2 Days or something) she makes him feel as if he wants to survive, basically saying that she gave his life a meaning. in my own experience, idealisation can happen EXTREMLEY quickly into meeting someone, and it can make me feel as if my life is suddenly lifted and that everything is great because of this person. not only that, but these feelings and this strong attachment can lead to the person doing alot for whoever they feel this way about, which is what i think could tie into ranmaru saying he would kill for sara. i think this could also be tied to impulsivity

trigger warning for next part for sewerslide, so pls be careful ^_^ ⚠️

3. suicidal ideation

its basically already canon that ranmaru is suicidal.

he said that being with sara makes him feel as though he wants to live, implying that he didnt feel that way before.

suicidal ideation is extremely common for people who have bpd

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this is just my own analysis of ranmaru as a character and i ofcourse could be overlooking things. i also havent played ytts yet so if theres anything else in there that could be seen as a symptom of bpd pls lmk!!! :333

But dear god please stop calling ranmaru a yandere You owe everyone with bpd a fat check for contributing to the stigma

conclusion ranmaru is bpd cored and awesome

[avatar-trash-ayyy]

Title: To See

Characters: Jake Sully, Neytiri, Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri

Rating: PG

Summary: Jake Sully and Neytiri are busy raising their young family, which includes teaching Kiri how to speak. Her first word takes him by surprise.

A gift for @nattikay 🥰 I used VERY minimal Na’vi but if anything here is so inaccurate it hurts to read, let me know and I will fix it 😂😂😂

——

“C’mon Kiri, say ma sempu. Or ‘pu. I’ll even take poo poo.”

Kiri sat down while chewing on a piece of softened wood, staring wide eyed at her adoptive father. Jake sighed and sat down with her. The mat, expertly woven when the last one wore out, only lightly rustled under his weight.

Jake repeated the word, palm on his chest for emphasis. “Ma sempu. Sempu.”

Kiri stuck out her tongue. Neytiri walked into their abode, Lo’ak on her sling, with a basket of various mauti. Neteyam, crouching near his sister and father, pretended to play with his bow but eyed the treats greedily.

“Ma Jake, they said it’s normal for her to not speak yet. You shouldn’t push this on her.”

“Ma semboo!” Lo’ak shrilled, reaching out with a giggle. Kiri squealed with delight also, watching her brother be picked up and placed next to her on Jake’s lap.

“It’s not pushing, it’s drilling. Repitition.”

“That’s how sempu taught me.” Neteyam said, sitting up straight. He always prided himself on being a fast learner.

Not that his siblings cared: Kiri poked at Lo’ak’s ear and he smacked at her fat thigh with an annoyed grunt. Neytiri placed the fruit down and began to cut.

“At least both our sons listen to their father, yes? Kiri will learn in time. She listens, even if she does not share what is on her mind.”

“I have an idea of what’s goin’ on in there.” Jake answered flatly, as she now tugged too hard on Lo’ak’s ear and causing him to whine. He pulled them apart as they each got a single pasuk to distract themselves with. “I guess I just wanna make it even, you know? Neteyam and Lo’ak’s first words were—“

“Ma Sa’nah!” Lo’ak piped with outstretched hands to demand more food.

“Ma Sa’nok.” His mother patiently corrected. Neteyam swiped more fruit and nibbled, ignoring the conversation now.

“Babe. Don’t rub it in.” Jake said with a tickle to both toddlers. Neytiri shared a smile with him.

“I do not ‘rub in.’ I teach.” Neytiri then smirked to add, “Skxawng.”

That earned her a retaliating, if playful, tickle, and their little ones joined in. They pounced on her side and play growled. Jake took over the rest of the cutting as Neytiri took time to rough house with their youngest warriors. Neteyam took this as an opportunity to sit ceremoniously into his lap with a childish cackle, momentarily distrusting his cutting. Jake adjusted, ruffled his black hair, and went back to work.

It gave Jake time to think over his hidden fears. Fears he never admitted to Neytiri even if she saw right through him. When would Kiri begin to speak? What was normal for her? Jake finished the cutting and dumped the fruit into a swoasey.

Who was he kidding? Kiri’s very existence was far from normal. Even Mo’at was baffled by Grace’s avatar’s sudden pregnancy.

“The Great Mother may have given us a gift in this time of loss. When the People have nothing, she gives us a future.”

That was all the Tsahik could share. In other words: “Hell if I know.”

Not that Jake disagreed with the “gift” part. He fell in love with Kiri as quickly as he had with Neytiri and his sons. Still…a man’s first daughter was really something. Whatever her “normal” was meant to be, it was something he couldn’t wait to be a part of.

He just wanted to be sure she wasn’t falling behind because of someone like him.

Neytiri now had the two children laying over her chest, pretending to die in an over-dramatic fashion.

“Ma Eywa, not like this! The enemy has defeated me!”

Kiri stuck her tongue out again and blew a raspberry. Jake sighed and turned his attention to Neteyam to continue their mock battle. He decided that her lack of words was not worth worrying over tonight.

—-

“Kame.”

The voice was small, tired, but strong. Jake had been on the verge of sleep, a dream teasing just at the edges, as he laid peacefully with his mate and children. At this time of night, creatures croaked and whistled in the distance, the bioluminescence dimmed. A tad of his own light brightened slightly as he was roused further from rest.

An ear flicked when he heard it again.

“Kame.”

Finally, Jake lifted his head.

It was Kiri. She laid on her side; bright yellow eyes looked into his bleary ones, a chubby hand lightly touched her forehead, then outstretched to lay on his cheek. Then, it hit him.

Kame.

See.

“Kiri…” Jake reached out his own hand. Hesitant at first, and then he gently laid it over her head and patted her hair. Kiri’s eyes slowly closed and her face markings flickered and dimmed before finding equilibrium.

They opened, and once again those green eyes locked onto his own. Knowing and honest, piercing deep into his core and allowing him to see her own inner heart: one that was unabashed about her love for him and the others.

No, not just love — it was seeing. Kame. And that was when it hit Jake.

Kiri spoke. And it was kame. It was one word and not even the full phrase for what she was trying to tell him — but it was kame. And she said it to him.

The rush of paternal love and awe returned as fresh as the day they brought her home to the Omaticaya. And then it halted with a screech as Jake froze up.

A part of him dredged up old guilt over his past, a past he would have to tell Kiri one day. Another part of him was scared at the vulnerability of loving someone he did not deserve. He felt the same way about Neytiri, Neteyam, and Lo’ak. About the clan he now called family. The Sky People were gone but what else could take them away? What did he do to earn this unconditional understanding and acceptance of himself — ugliness and all?

But a final part of him — the part of him that became Toruk Makto, the one that had been ready to die for Neytiri and for what was right — that part of him glowed. If someone saw him, then that only meant one thing: he could see them too, and with the best parts of himself he had to offer.

Who was Jake Sully to deny this gift?

“Oel ngati kameie.” He finally breathed out. Kiri stuck out that tongue again, smiled, and then cuddled up into his chest. She fell asleep within moments, and Jake held her closer than he ever could again.

[unclewaynemunson]

Jeff is one of my favorite characters and I think we should start a post of all our favorite Jeff headcanons. He and Freak get left out in almost every Eddie-centric fic I read, with his "best friend" being either Gareth or Chrissy, and I'm tired of it. Jeff is wonderful. Here's my hc's:

- Jeff and Eddie have been best friends since middle school. They started CC and Hellfire together.

- they went to the Snowball together and rigged the bubble machine to spew bubbles during the slow dance songs. The dance had to end early and Jeff and Eddie never got caught

- Jeff's parents loves Eddie. They used to have sleepovers at each other's place almost every weekend.

- Jeff was the first person Eddie came out to. Jeff tried to be surprised and "that's great, man, thanks for telling me!" But Eddie saw right through that.

- Eddie is afraid of geese and spiders. Jeff thinks this is fucking hilarious.

- post-Vecna, Jeff is the one Eddie reconnects with first. Eddie tells him everything, despite the NDAs and Steve's warnings. Jeff believes him, because he knows there's wacky shit going on in Hawkins, and he's seen Eddie's wounds.

- they have that kind of friendship that nothing can break. Even if they don't see or talk to each other for years, because Life Happens and people lose touch, they'll always have part of themselves carved out for their best friend.

Ok, that's all I got for now, and sorry for the long ask! I just love Jeff so much and he (and Freak, too, because Freak gets ignored because of fatphobia) deserves just as much love and attention as Gareth gets.

What are your Jeff and Eddie headcanons?

I am loving this Jeff love and your headcanons, thank you so much for sending this to me!!! <3

I think with Unnamed Freak things are a bit different bc, yaknow, he doesn't have a name. For me at least that makes me hesitant to write about him so I don't wanna go as far as to say it's all bc he's fat (even though I'm not gonna deny that that probably also plays a part in how popular he is in this fandom urgh). Anyway, yes this fandom certainly does Jeff dirty. I think it's this gross combination of racism and people copying a lot from already existing stories, characterizations and headcanons without much critical thinking of their own (which baffles me, if you're creative enough to write a story please use that creativity for some originality ffs). Anyway, this is gonna turn into a rant again can you tell I'm still annoyed? so let's turn to something more positive now, like my headcanons for our beloved Jeff:

He was the first person in Hawkins (after Wayne obviously) that Eddie got close to. For Jeff it was kinda the same, being a black, nerdy boy in this town had been very isolating for him and Eddie was his first real friend.

Unnamed Freak made their duo into a trio a bit later. All the others in the group (including Gareth) were Eddie's "lost little sheepies" who he sought out to protect. This means that Jeff and Unnamed Freak are the only people who don't borderline worship Eddie but see him (and love him) for who he is including all his flaws. They're also the only ones not afraid to call him out on his bullshit.

Jeff's mom is really cool. Her name is Pauline and she's not like Jeff at all (she was a cheerleader in high school). Despite their differences they love each other a lot. (Jeff's mom is actually heavily featured in one of the fics I wrote so I got her all fleshed out lmao)

He has two little twin sisters. They're friends with Erica, one of them is one of her friends we meet in the mall in s3. He has this typical hate-love relationship with his sisters: they fight a lot, but at the end of the day, he would die for them.

HE'S BISEXUAL

While he can't wait to get out of Hawkins and to a place that'll be more accepting of him, he doesn't want to move too far away from his family.

He's the most loyal friend in the world, 100% a ride-or-die kinda guy

While he does love metal a lot, his guilty pleasure is Tina Turner

Tell me all your Jeff headcanons i wanna hear more about him!

[yuukei-yikes]

just read ur recenmt kanoshin comic and it made me smile so wide with joy. i think the way shintaro just says straight up he wants to be with kano is really good bc in the end thts very shintaro. it takes him one million years but once he knows what it is exactly what he wants he will get it bc hes the protagonist smthn smthn story lol. but kano is litearlly the exact opposite of that. he barely knows what he wants most of the time but the times he does "know," he will just make reasons he cant have it. and in this au there r many potential reasons. maybe the only thing he really KNOWS he wants is his own suffering bahahha. anyway thanks for the kanoshin i havent been able to get myself to draw them lately but maybe i will now bc i feel like jesus starvuing himself in the dessert

U GET ITTTT. love ur kanoshin insights because U Get Me.

kano making up reasons why he can't have what he wants.... and shintaro just going for wants he wants.... i kick my feets with joy when ppl get what im putting down. like, shintaro kind of just had to work through some internalized homephobia. other than that he has no real problem liking kano LOL. he's like oh it's a little weird he's my ex's brother but her and i are cool now im sure she'd be totally ok with it yaaaay. he's a dumb son of a bitch💔

i know i wrote the comic but im so team kano. imagine that as an extremely traumatized, avoidant and filled with trust issues guy, you get in a situationship with a guy you had an ultra big fat repressed crush on 10 years ago, and that guy is the lamest, most self centered person you have EVER met, and at the same time he's your sister's ex boyfriend of 2 years and current father figure to her adopted kids because he is also the kindest most heroic person you've ever met and of course he has kids. with your sister. fuuuck. and he's totally earnest and keeps trying to formalize the relationship but again ur avoidant and cautious AND! he and ur sister played this romantic love story plot together for years and continue to be in each other's lives and they have a freaking family rn so why the hell would you accept his attempts to make things official?? you think no one knows ur sister better than you and you know he's STILL extremely SPECIAL to her, and when he finds that out he Will leave you for her. and it would be completely humiliating to be dumped at that point because all the stakes are against you, raising kids with his ex girlfriend? YOUR SISTER??? come on what were u even thinking kissing him Once are u stupid. even after he dumps you for her you'd see him all the time because he'd dump you FOR YOUR SISTER.

so add to that, you find out THROUGH HER that he agreed to artificially inseminate her. so they will have biological BABY together??? are you joking. id also throw him out of my apartment.

shintaro expecting anything else drives me crazy. and yet he's also not super wrong. kano and shintaro start their thing a lot after shintaro had been inserted in ayano's family unit. he's been around since she adopted the first one, he was the one to help her through it all. so kano can't really have an opinion about it because at that point its been years of shintaro and ayano playing house. and allegedly he and kano are nothing more than casual so what CAN he say about shintaro and ayano? and from shintaros perspective, he doesn't understand why kano even gives him the time of day if he doesn't wanna Date him. he might not be bright on social cues but shintaro is freaking smart he knows kano at the very least enjoys time with him, he knows that's real so what the hecks the problem??? shintaro assumes kano has commitment issues. which ig isnt super far off and maybe also an issue but Definitely not the main problem. like if the whole ayano and kids situation didnt exist, kano Would eventually come around. but shintaro doesnt even think that.

shintaro just fails to see his closeness with ayano as the red flag for kano bc he sees them as isolated parts of his life. SHINTARO YOU'RE PLAYING DAD AND ARE ABOUT TO GET HIS SISTER/YOUR EX GF PREMEDITATEDLY PREGNANT *SHAKES HIM*

he HAS made so much progress in 10 years but shintaro hasnt entirely shaken off his protagonist tendencies... i think the biggest problem here is that shintaro still doesnt recognize himself as the kid's dad lol he just think he's ayano's good friend helping her out every other day. but no he is literally their dad.

anyways a match made in hell ive got doodles of where i wanna take it but.. i dont see kano coming around AT ALL lol no matter how i go abt it the damage is done lmao and at the end of the day this story thingy IS about ayano and shintaro, who are... well... kind of selfish. so... im sorry kano. you are the collateral damage takane was talking about

[louiesselfshipramblings]

Danganronpa Yume Thoughts

Gonna be real: I have NOT directly played any Danganronpa game. I have, however, watched a friend play both most of 1 and parts 2, plus I've seen a bit of gameplay for V3, so I have a grasp on it for the most part. That said, the series has attractive gals, and just my luck, all my darlings meet untimely fates. Boo hoo :[

SO! I wanted to just ramble on some thoughts for each one. Gonna have a different s/i for each gal, for simplicity sake. I'll also be assuming either the Killing Games did NOT happen, or best-case scenario happened where everyone gets out alive (which I think is the ending of 2, anyways). So, uh. Mild spoilers. Mainly characters specific.

Celestia is very interesting, as I really analyze her. Her whole persona as "Queen of Lies" is just a front to appear special, to be more than just plain old Taeko. It's not enough to just be the Ultimate Gambler, she has to be this spectacular, strikingly dressed French woman, with desires for a classic European castle and a harem of vampire boys, heh. It's kinda funny to think of, but also quite sad. Maybe she didn't want everything she said, but perhaps in her lies remains a kernel of truth about what she really wants.

I think of em all, Celeste is the hardest for me for making an s/i. Maybe Ultimate Actor, to compliment her? Maybe Ultimate Empath, to help her? That's really what I want; to help her feel...how to say this...to feel right. To examine who Taeko is, who Celestia is, and come to who is real for her. Maybe it means a quiet life as a small time cardshark, maybe it means a prestigious life as the head of a casino chain. Whatever it may be, I want it to be something that makes her happy, something that makes her feel special, and something where we can do it together. I think she deserves it. Hm...maybe I hide my true talent, sorta like Makoto did. The Ultimate Guide, perhaps? I dunno, still a work in progress.

Comparatively, and I mean this is the nicest way possible, Ibuki is super simple. She is! She's just a silly girl who wants to rock out and sing and make people smile all around the world. That's the goal of any musician. And she should be able to! I'm talking world tours, baby! Solo act across Japan, China, India, Europe, African, North America, South America, and sure Austrailia if there's time. She'd want to bring her music to every corner of the globe...and maybe also try a bit of food there. Get a bit of a regional appetite, ya know! So what if she gets fat; she's punk, and fat is punk >:]

Firstly, was kinda thinking like...the Ultimate Groupie as my s/i lol. Seemed a lil silly. Maybe the Ultimate Manager? The Ultimate Supporter? Ya know, just SOMETHING that will make getting the Ibuki world tour easier to get off the ground. Not that she couldn't do it herself, but always nice to have a hand, yeh?

Kirumi...now, I find her interesting, as she straddles a middle ground. Not as simple as Ibuki, but definitely having more complexity akin to Celestia. Kinda just the dynamic of culprits to victims, I suppose. Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, buuuuut...I don't think Kirumi would wanna be prime minister? Don't get me wrong, she's talented, she's capable, but she's young. Like, what, hardly in her twenties, and she's responsible for the well-being of an entire nation? Yes, she does take her duties as the Ultimate Maid seriously, but just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean ya GOTTA. It's like putting a gifted kid through a special program; they can prolly handle it, but is it gonna help em through the long run? Prolly not. I feel she'd be much more content and happy (even if she doesn't fully get it) being a maid to a family as is, and see where she goes from there. I think she should get that choice.

As for my s/i with her, this one is easy. I'd be the Ultimate Butler, her perfect counterpart. Why? To spark some drive in her, some friendly competition. To pull out some emotion, some pride, some cockiness, even...some romance? Just someone who can keep up with her, and break down that icy wall around her. Or at least, have it come down on her off hours, ya know, ehehehe...

[soupedepates]

New Year's Eve part.10

Continuing the saga!

Sigi and Kaizarz belong to @corneille-but-not-the-author

Oli belongs to @thal-ent

Tyr and Fenrir belong to @hel-phoenyx

And Meili belongs to @azeler

He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He...

I am doodling on my diary with pink and glittery ink, small hearts and writing the name of the persons I love. Oli. Kaizarz. Tyr. Sigi. And damn. He loves me. Sigismund loves me.

He loves me, you understand? He loves me!

He loves me... So perhaps they love me. So perhaps I am wrong and I am lovable. I deserve to live and I am loved and that's not just in my head or in my dreams.

And

Yeah

Fenrir.

I have gone too far; I should apologize. But damn, all I wanna say to him is "Drink my fucking period blood and choke on it". There is a "i h8 im" in light purple next to his name. Honestly, ACAB. But ACAB is mostly for him right now.

And.

Oh wait a sec my sister's calling.

"Salaam, Qamar, what's up?"

Funny that my sis is the only one going solely by her Arabic name. Egill is only called Walid by our grandma and aunts. Sigsteinn is never referred as Fahd. And I... Welp. I cut contacts with my parents - should've not blamed me for getting pregnant with my maths teacher at 17. BUT BEFORE THAT, it was Masuda with the elders, and Domhildr otherwise.

But then again, I am the only one of my siblings with an almost perfect white-passing.

"Alaikum as-salam, you who have played dead for what, seventeen days?" my sister playfully answers. "You sound awfully happy, masha'Allah that's a pleasure to hear after Oli told me you were extremely under the weather. I've got good news for you: Umran is coming in France with his side of the family for the wedding! I'm so excited to see aunt Hafsa and uncle Omar!"

I can't help but giggle.

"And that comes to my second point: I invited all your friends to my wedding, they should get the invite during the week," she tells me as I'm starting to chuckle. I have more or less an idea of what her wedding might look like, so the thought of Kaizarz and Tyr dancing dabke and Meili surrounded by Arabs, with my hijabi aunts, sister and cousin, and also the smile of Oli before the profusion of good food, makes me giddy. She resumes her speech: "Which means, as my beloved big sister, you have a plus one to choose. I was thinking about the "new guy", I would be delighted to meet him properly."

I blush so violently I think Qamar can hear it through the phone. I smile, sigh like a diva, and compose my answer.

"I am still not on good terms with our parents, you know, and I don't want to put Sigi through it. He is, like, a knight in shining armour y'know, and I really don't want him to know about that thing."

"It's not like it was your fault."

"But it was", I laugh. "I opened my legs."

"Domhildr, I..." She is likely rolling her eyes right now. "I won't have that conversation with you. The conversation we will have instead is that my wedding."

"You want a religious celebration, the big fat Lebanese wedding, right?"

And the Lulea would love to spend a lot of money to prove immigration hasn't left them paupers. Eh. At least my baby sister will have a princess wedding and I'm happy for her.

"On that point, we decided with my fiancé that the nikah will be at the mosque."

"...are you saying I should tone down my girlboss energy?"

"Only for the nikah", she exclaims. "You can change afterwards, but if you can dress modestly for-"

"Qamar, y'know what? I'll wear modest clothes and make the veil sexy. Just as God intended."

Because it's your wedding and even if I hate not dressing like myself, it is your big day. I can make it work. She chuckles on the other side of the phone.

"Thanks Masuda. It means a lot for me."

"Gotta repay for the time I framed you for breaking that window."

She laughs again. Damn. My baby sister is growing up so fast.

***

"Yaaaay, you made it!" I shout as I see Sigismund, very sexy in a civilian attire I must say, just before I come to hug him tight and put a light kiss on his cheek. I love him. He loves me. I am happy. "I wasn't sure you would be down for shopping so I'm sooo glad you're here!"

"I am glad to see you in a better shape," he softly says while his gaze tenderly covers me. "And I'm not sure I understood your story about a wedding... can you elaborate?"

"My sister's getting married. In May. Big wedding, and she is a pious Muslim, so she and her guy want to do the nikah at the mosque. I need modest clothing and a pretty scarf for my hair, y'know. Can't show up before the imam with my microskirt, tattoos, and quite wonderful cleavage." He lets out a cute giggle. "And I wanted to have you as a plus one. Everyone of my squad already got invited, and you're really important to me so... DON'T PANIC IT'S IN MAY I DON'T HAVE THE PRECISE DATE YET. JUST... just think about it."

"...Yes because it is so sudden and my father is..."

"Do I love you or your father?"

He stays silent. His cheeks redden instantly.

"And we haven't defined our relationship yet and..."

"Shopping and then coffee for the big big talk?"

He nods. I put my head against his arm, all smile and giggles, before taking his hand in mine.

"I may know some people so don't panic if I get heckled in Arabic, for, y'know, the wedding. From what I've gathered from my brothers they invited a LOT of people. And the groom is quite a social butterfly. He is a nice man, really, Amine is a dear and they have such a romantic love story... and he knows a lot of people and he invited them."

He suddenly looks pale. I squeeze slowly his hand.

"Hey. Breathe in. Breathe out. We're just going shopping. I'll handle the social interactions, okay? And if you're uncomfy, tell me and we're leaving and calling it a day."

"...Okay", he whispers, still with that preoccupied expression on his face.

"Hey Sigi..."

"What?"

"I'm really happy you're here and you're spending time with me. You're just wonderful."

His face softens a bit. That's a win.

***

As soon as we entered the store, the auntie, who is also the one running the place - I'm coming here for modest clothing and, more importantly, cute modest clothing - and who is a good friend of my mother and my maternal aunt, calls me out in Arabic by saying: "Ya'Allah Masuda you haven't changed! I've heard you're a cook now, that's great, you're independent! You're here to prepare Qamar's wedding, right?"

"Aha, you know everything, auntie", I reply instantly. I haven't always liked Khadidja. She has had a lot of charadev since I left my parents' place. From quite a judgy person she has become a way more understanding woman. I know she has a daughter she loves more than anything in the world, girl is younger than me and Qamar, and I think it helped. "I need a cute dress, a cute scarf for my hair, but if you have an ensemble with pants that would do I'm taking it."

"And who is this beautiful boy, Masuda? Is he your husband?"

"What is she saying?" Sigismund asks, puzzled and confused while seeing me quite violently blushing.

"Nothing, she is saying nothing, w-we're going this way!" I shout, red as a poppy, almost dragging Sigi with me, while auntie Khadidja has a hearty laugh.

Auntie Khadidja doesn't only sell modest clothing for weddings and stuff. No no no. She sells formal clothes for women. From very the Occidental wedding dress to cocktail dresses and formal women suits, with of course what I am looking for. Aaaaaah, that dark red dress is divine but wayyy too revealing. Sigi's looking at it too. Quite intensely even. Touching the fabric. Pensive.

"She is pretty, ain't it?"

"What?"

"The dress, I mean", I precise.

"Ahem... yes? Ahem..." He looks for his words. "You would look great in it but I thought you wanted modest clothes..."

"Not my size anyway. Too long. But you should try it", I suggest.

"What? No, I..."

"You should. It's decided", I claim as I take that beautiful piece in my arms. "The fitting rooms are this way and I want you out of it in this heavenly stuff."

"Doesn't the manager of this store would be mad at me for that?"

He seems genuinely terrified. Like a kid. Almost about to cry. I manage to slowly take his hand, and murmure to him:

"Auntie Khadidja's beloved daughter came out as a trans girl like five years ago, and if Khadidja is still quite conservative on a lot of things she doesn't care who tries on her dresses anymore, be it a man, a woman, a non-binary person like Oli, she couldn't care less. As long as she can do business it's all good. She's a businesswoman. And I will spend more than a hundred bucks here so she will be delighted."

"I..."

"It's just a dress. Just fabric. Really pretty, but overall just fabric. That doesn't mean anything profound, y'know."

He whispers almost like a sob. "...You're sure I can try it?"

"Positive."

"That you won't see me as a degenerate?"

"If anything I will see you as the hottest stuff around~"

He has a faint smile and pink on his cheeks. He is so cute. So fucking cute. And look at him go to the fitting room with the dress! Look at him disappearing behind the curtain... I browse through a couple of dresses to find another one that could fit him. I think I'm onto something, right now. Really onto something.

Sigi moves aside the curtain and I've never seen such pure glee enlightening a face before. He looks at himself in the mirror with a smile. I look at his silhouette - oh my God is it legal to be that beautiful? My heart is about to combust.

"You're gorgeous", I say pathetically because I am no good with poetry. A better bard would have sung his beauty but I am just stunned.

"You think?"

Happy tears forming in his eyes. They're like pearls, jewels highlighting the beauty of their bearer.

"I am sure. 100%. You look... woah. You're dashing."

I tilt my head to the blue dress, which provides more coverage but with princess sleeves and a short train. It's made for a maid of honour I suppose.

"Wanna try this one too?"

"Can I?"

He suddenly looks so excited. Wallah he is so cute.

***

But the dreaded moment arrives. I have to choose my outfit. And Sigismund is way more into it than I am and that's so fucking adorable. He's more and more comfortable with feeling the fabrics, the laces, the silk, the satin...

"You need a shawl for the religious ceremony, right?"

"Yep", I sigh, not particularly thrilled at the idea to veil. I mean, when I was praying, well before I distanced myself from religion, I did use to veil to pray. "You know, to cover my hair at the mosque. But as soon as the nikah ends I'm throwing it."

"I think this one would be really cute on you", he says while handing me a long shawl, light fabric, gauze probably. Its colour variation reminds me of the sea, with its silvery reflects. "You could use it as a scarf too, it would suit you really well on the daily."

I try to wrap it over my head and my shoulders, very loosely. I don't aim to look like my most practising family members, but hey.

Very demure.

Very mindful.

And the fabric feels fine.

"I like it", I admit. "Now I have to find something that goes with it."

"On that point..."

With a devilish - and so sexy - smile, he shows me an iridescent bluish dress. Covering everything, of course, but quite figure-hugging until the hips.

"Try this on."

Oh babygirl I don't need to try this on. The mere fact you picked it for me makes me love it.

But I try it anyway. And it fits like a glove, it's just a tad bit too long. Sigi looks at me with sparkles in his eyes.

"You're stunning."

I go back to change, butterflies swarming in my stomach. Immediately as I get out of the fitting room, I kiss him on the cheek, wait for a second contemplating his mouth. I put a light peck on his lips, before letting go and start running to auntie Khadidja to pay everything - my outfit, and the dress he finally chose.

"DOMHILDR!"

I laugh.

"Catch me if you can, or everything is on me~"

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Jennifer Lopez

At this point, Jay is very unpopular with the world at large. There’s many things come out about her that aren’t too good and also she could be attached to this whole Diddy drama with the fact that his house got rated the things with Rodney Jenkins the music prodigy who works on did he love album And the fact that at the time did he spilt some tea on the fact that the night he was in the club with Jennifer that they did have a gun and that she held it in his purse and he did shoot someone it was down to him even though somebody else got the jail sentence these fucking people up in power. Everything is a bribery. Everything is a game and you you win or you lose it so snakes and ladders, it’s why they’re also connected to Jeffrey Epstein as well because that was all a game of bribery they all cameras in the house they all up to the same debauchery rubbish but different degrees and it kind of reminds me of is the pornographic world and how porn actors go Darker and darker into the role of it so let’s say someone starts off doing a blow job scene, then they get told alright you’re ready for sex now we do it all different positions everything, and the woman’s like yeah sure I’ll do that I don’t mind at all and then carries on and something comes along. There is something that isn’t quite you but you get told that you’ll get paid a lot of money for doing this act now there are choices in this but they may not feel like they have those choices, especially if they’re working with the butcher kind of people which I’m sure they are, talk about it. She said about the time and she has tears in her eyes when someone pissed down her throat., and I’m sorry I have to say as somebody used to love porn in their 20s and late teenagers, looking back and I always thought it at the time anyway I hate the way they were the pornos and the films for example fat slut takes it up there or something like that, it’s never for men men just treated differently and always well-being. It seems., it’s just unfair that it’s just realistic.,,,, anyway going back to the scenario they get paid all this money for doing it so they do it and then another thing comes up and then they get numb to it and then they start taking drugs to cope with the pain all the time you’re gonna be destroying and you have to have the right mental constitution is gonna end badly.

She is definitely into this world Jennifer Lopez that that is she came into the scene with Diddy when he got her on this song that was originally somebody else’s surprise surprise I’m that was if you had my love, because before that she was more of an actress and if you’re a millennial you grew up with Jennifer and at the time of course he didn’t know all these things. I was a huge fan but we started to slowly realise that it was her vocals that she was using Natasha Ramos! Anyway, she got involved with Tommy Matola, who at this point was Mariah Carey‘s ex-husband and at the time he hated Mariah and he wanted to sabotage her career mainly because she’d got away from him he brought brought and had them but changed a little bit to her music. He’d ring up all the radio station saying don’t play any music off. The glitter soundtrack . Wendy Williams was one of the first people to Diddy and I think she was hinting at the fact that he was gay , see you guys people don’t mind if you’re gay. That is not the problem. The problem is that you are homophobic and closeted. That is the part that people do not like, and the other part people do not like is the fact that your predatory and that you grow up and that you do things to people , and let’s face it Jennifer Lopez is a glorified Kardashian if you wanna put it nicely , she’s an amazing business , a nice person she was told or told people not to look in the eyes and you know Wendy Williams dead she did it anyway and I love her. I miss Wendy somebody said she followed Jay to the bathroom and she didn’t wash her hands . but now she is connected to another ex who is her husband I think and that is Ben Affleck who has his own issues with addiction and alcoholism , and she still from Jennifer Gardner who was there for him , Yes, maybe so so she has a passion of being with people for my past and also while she was with Puff Daddy P. Diddy whatever you wanna call him he was with his wife Kim Porters, but Jennifer Lopez was his showgirl girlfriend his celebrity girlfriend his popstar .

So Jennifer isn’t that popular for many reasons such as that and the fact that she stole lyrics of Ashanti and her voice the fact I say she’s a glorified Kardashian she’s made a career of not very much and then there’s a few with Mariah Carey and I don’t know her, and I don’t take no shit. She’s not gonna pretend she’s not gonna be humble like Ashanti is because Mariah is not a libra like Ashanti she’s a powerful Aries woman and it’s just another case of. I don’t know her in my case me talking to you here Leo woman who cannot stand the fact she’s getting older and less relevant who is another Leo woman who does this? Why who else could it be? Madonna Who has a reputation of not being that madonna, who are the people who don’t Madonna Diana Ross Michael Jackson Cher . I think the time could come where she has looked into because of the whole Diddy situation correct me if I’m wrong but he’s just an example of why is not so popular but she has that healthy Leo ego I’ve not giving a shit .

[chocolate-failure]

God I fucking hate myself... As much for the things that I do as the things I don't. Today my best mfkn friend, like kismet close, celebrated their birthday. And it's wild cuz I say we're really close when we don't know massive swathes of information about each other. I feel like it's mostly me but they play shit close to the vest too.

But I went to the party and I looked really nice but I fucking hated it and myself but mostly myself. I didn't want to eat or drink too much which makes dancing with a bunch of drunk/high people not so fun. But like also idk... I always have these weird moments where I feel like this just ain it. Like being a human is so fucking bogus and I'm so bad at it anyways, why even bother. Like was this experience supposed to impart something upon me? Was I supposed to derive some kind of joy or peace from this endeavor? And The Baby was there. On top of being ignorant af she's also loud which wouldn't be a problem if she had compelling or fun things to say. She low key sucks all the fun out of a conversation with a single line. Like it's kind of the hugest most exhausting buzzkill.

God I hate being me bro and like of course, within the first hour of the party I'm hunched over the toilet retching. That's something I hate. When you go to events and can't concentrate on grounding yourself and tracking the input it's really mfkn hard to find yourself in the bathroom trying to discard said input. It's hard to explain but not really but I'm tired... I can tell how much I've eaten and how much should come up when I'm home because I'm fully calibrated to this environment, as much as I hate it, and I'm able to gauge to a pretty reliable degree how much I should be throwing up and I tend to have a fair amount of control over how fast and how much comes up.

Like especially after eating something like ice cream and popcorn, idk I just remember that combination a lot from my childhood. Hell even orange juice is an okay liquid if you drink enough but ice cream is high up there. The mucous your body produces breaking down high fat dairy products is fucking exquisite 👌 Like it makes this perfect almost frothy capsule around whatever you've eaten making even the hardest things to get up easy af if you're able to get some ice cream inside of you in time. Sunflower seeds have a similar affect because you're producing and swallowing a lot of saliva as compared to food. The seeds get suspended in the saliva and come up real easy like, you don't even need to drink anything. And it's honestly a good idea to try to drink as little as you possibly can because I'm at the phase where something I drank like 3 minutes ago will already be emptied out of my stomach. It's definitely happened a few times and is a fat worst than death. Like imagine you ate something you very much wanna uneat, so you drink some water or juice to grease the skids only when you go to purge literally nothing comes up 😤 whata goddamn nightmare.

It's been a couple days since I started writing this but I had an instance in mind I wanted to mention not so much for posterity but also a reminder to future me the lengths we, hopefully once, went through to keep this fucking shit show going. Ain nothing quite like pulling back the veil to reveal the crusty old man yanking his diseased prick to show you how far you've fallen. Ed is fucking disgusting. The human body is disgusting enough as it is without this disease ravaging it. And maybe it's not that so much as it ravages your mind and makes you grow accustomed to som derranged shit.

The first thought that comes to mind is when you don't put down enough toilet paper or miss your mark and toilet water splashes back up into your face. You don't even wipe it off, might as well wait til we're done right? The business at hand is far more important than getting rancid shit water off your face. And have you considered that perhaps you deserve it?

The other day, and by other day I mean 2 weeks ago I went to dinner with the fam for my brother's birthday. We had sushi. I ate too much. Though any amount is technically too much... So when we get home I rev up the ol tonsil tickler, the choke goat, the duke of puke. Who knew I could swallow knives. And when I'm done I go to flush the toilet and nothing fucking happens... Imagine my abject horror. Here I stood at the scene of the crime, a toilet bowl filled with sushi colored puke and not an ounce of water to dispose of the evidence. I was fucked. I thought well maybe I could convince my brother to help me without looking in the toilet. I certainly couldn't ask my mom or dad. They'd both lose their shit but my brother holds enough reverence for me to enable some of my more unusual eccentricities. No, best not to involve anyone else. But also why tf is the toilet *this* broken??? Like there was no water in the tank. I should've just done it in my room, out of the way of prying eyes. It's also sus af for me to pass 3 other bathrooms to use one of the two that's only used by us and not guests. I could just say I like it more than the others and of course I do but not for the sake of nostalgia. I honestly think my mom would be none the wiser, if she had even an inkling I was back on my bullshit she'd be on me like well me on said bullshit... I should've just used the other one. I would've been fine, but I guess that can't be helped I kick myself as I grab a fist full of my own vomit and drop it in the trashcan. I didn't even think about. Like 0 preparation... This is what had to be done. But then I noticed the bucket sitting next to the trashcan ✨eureka✨ this could work or make the situation a hundred times more difficult to hide. I hedge my bets and fill the bucket with hot water and pour it into the toilet. And just like that my problem was solved. No mess no witnesses and best of all no waves. I didn't need to ask for help and have it documented in my mom's mind that the toilet posed a problem for me. She remembers that type of shit and will check up on shit you may have done wrong.

So I take the vomit soaked tissues in the bathroom trash and put it in a grocery bag and very purposelessly throw it away in the big trash. You can get my mom with sleight of hand if you make what you're doing seem trivial enough without being attention to it.

I feel ridiculous for having to do these things but the discomfort of being overweight outweighs it tenfold. I much rather be skinny than normal. I rather pick shit pellets from my bleeding rectum like some kind of disgusting shit prospector. I rather the constant hemorrhoids, the years of irreversible dental damage, the insane thirst I'm plagued by at any given moment in the day. The inside of my mouth is itchy and tingly and I can't recall a time when it wasn't. I hate every goddamn second of this but this seems to be a reasonable price for self actualization. At least at the moment. I've no intention of stopping and I'm not sure I could if I wanted.