#if i have to have faith for everybody i will

[wiremotherofficial]

i went back and forth on if i wanted to respond to this but it does seem like a sincere misinterpretation rather than a deliberate bad faith read, so i'm going to give the benefit of the doubt here

first of all, i wasn't even talking about depression. i was talking about general life dissatisfaction. and i also never threw around the word lazy, you brought that in yourself. most people who refuse to make changes to their immediate daily life do so out of fear actually. they don't want to take risks or adjust to something new, even when they know what they're currently in is unsustainable and anything is better.

things like changing jobs, leaving a bad relationship, taking your health (which includes psychiatric health) seriously, making friends, etc

but the issue i took with what you said, is that it takes power away from people.

i don't owe you my life story to justify where my opinion on this comes from, but for anyone in a truly awful situation where they are actually alone and no one cares, the LAST thing they need to hear is that they just need a little help. because it's not coming

that's not to say help is a bad thing and you shouldn't take it if you have it, of course not

but those people need to be allowed to believe that if nothing changes, and no one cares, and the only one who wants better for them is them, that better is still possible.

the day that i realized help was never coming is the day i got brave enough to make the changes that absolutely saved my life.

that looks different for everybody, but it is absolutely in everyone's power to take their desperation and use it for positive change

it's not believing in that possibility that kills people

nothing frustrates me more than people who choose to stay miserable because they're waiting for someone else to change their lives for them. particularly when they shrug off every suggestion as to how they could improve their situation because they've decided that anyone else who has actually bettered their circumstances has just struggled less/had it easier than them.

[vaspider]

Hey spider, I’ve been by your tumblr several times in the last day to help keep myself grounded. I wanted to say thanks and pass along my own thoughts to others checking in.

This fucking sucks and I hate it. But this moment feels very different to me than 2016. Not that I feel *great* about weathering the next four+ years, but, I’m not collapsing in despair either.

Fact is we survived four years of this, we had four years of relative “peace,” and it’s back into the shitstorm. The situation is different, more dire, yes, but we’re also different, too. We survived and we have lessons to glean from that to apply to our future.

Your job, if that frame is helpful for you, is to look at what you can offer your community and start cultivating opportunities to help other people. 

Are you strong? I helped an older gentleman recycle heavy boxes of papers (by heaving them into a dumpster for him) and that lit up my MONTH.

Can you do dishes? There is an elder in your community who could use the help (and the company!).

Do you not go to church, on Sundays or otherwise? There may be a hospice center that needs volunteers to stay with patients while their people are at Sunday services.

Do you have a car and some time? Maybe you can do pickups for food banks or other types of food rescue work.

Do you know spreadsheets? Hoo boy. Everybody needs somebody who can do spreadsheets.

These are ideas of where you might start. But the real work is to cultivate relationships of goodwill and good faith with others in your community. Start talking to organizations, look for people who are already embedded, doing good work. Look for role models, people who connect: people to other people, people to resources. Don’t be afraid to speak up when you need help, yourself – strong relationships are reciprocal. People need each other *so badly,* and in ways our culture does not equip us to understand.

Show up where and when you can and be ready to hold the hands of others. It’s going to be hard, but you can develop the skills and the relationships to make it through.

thanks again, spider.

This is good advice.

One thing I heard today that cracked me up - I was listening to Gianmarco Soresi's podcast today, and he has Brennan Lee Mulligan on this episode. Brennan was talking about how he ran a load of diapers over to Rekha at one point bc she was collecting stuff for LA wildfires aid, and when he got home, his wife, Izzy, was sitting at her computer and going through Zillow and researching rental listings and reporting listings to the authorities who are breaking CA rent control laws. (In CA, there are limits to how much you can raise the rent on a unit at one time/within a certain period of time.)

Like... that's a thing that she could do while she was sitting at her computer being at home with the baby while Brennan ran an errand that did measurable good in the world. Reporting predatory landlords does real, measurable good.

What's important is not that you're doing the most good or the most important good. What's important is that you Find Something To Do That Helps and you Do That Thing.

[captain-athos]

Thinking about Woźniak being in kind of a bad way after the conclave like he's just been on his own for the whole time and he eventually makes his way back to the Vatican bc all his stuff is there but he's pale and shaky and clearly has been eating too little and drinking too much. There's nowhere for his grief to go anymore because things need to keep moving and he feels stationary. Left behind while everybody celebrates this new pope.

And like he and Ray have that mutual respect between the two of them. Two devoted, faithful servants who recognise each other in a way the others can't begin to understand. Which is perhaps why Ray visits him at some point, late at night. Makes sure he's had something to eat. Pours him a glass of water and sits with him. Asks if he'd perhaps like to pray.

Woźniak doesn't understand why he's there. Is it pity? Is he the resident charity case now? He throws out some bitter line to that effect, intending to hurt the man, but Ray just kind of sighs.

"You know, Janusz, there were a few hours during the conclave where I truly believed that Cardinal Lawrence was going to become the next pope. And all I could think about was what it would be like, following him to that place, the way you did. Placing my fate in his hands. I know him - he would have kept his office until the day he died, and I would have been there with him, until it was all over. It was the moment where I finally understood what you lost that day."

A long pause.

"I'm sorry we left you behind."

[rizzanon]

Hi, just wanna say love your work and I just wanted to spew out my thoughts about certain character dynamics because I think you’re writing is really interesting😭🫶🏾

The reader and Stephanie are an interesting thing to me because I feel like the real reason why the reader is so mad at Stephanie is because she thought out of all people Stephanie was gonna give her the support she needed to continue going if that makes sense?

Because she kind of gave Stephanie the faith that not that many people gave her. and out of everybody else she really didn’t expect for her to take her place at or at least not talk about it with her 

I feel like the reader in Tim’s relationship is interesting too because they got started at the same time and we don’t know (yet) how the reader felt about Tim replacing Jason. And even if she does feel some type of way about it, she still tried to collaborate with him but he kind of just blocked her out and she was like ok i can take a hint 

And with Dick’s, he’s known her the longest but he knows the lease about her. And I feel like her anger with realizing that everybody was somewhat correct about their doubts is going to be taken out on him for sure. And what makes it complicated is that I kind of see the reason why dick is so close to Damien is because he didn’t have as much going on at least before Bruce died. When he met reader he was grieving his parents . When Jason became Robin, he was fighting with Bruce. when Tim became Robin he was grieving Jason. and the one time not everything is happening at once and he sees a new robin they’re going to have a better chance at bonding.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk but also you can completely ignore this and I will truly understand because I feel like I am talking too much lol 😭🤍😭

no no it’s alright. i enjoyed reading your thoughts about the characters’ dynamics!!

for stephanie and reader, you could technicslly think in that sense that reader would have expected stephanie to show her the same grace reader did to her when stephanie was still spoiler. but it was more so on reader’s part that the two didn’t really have a proper bond since at the time her father “died” and she got benched because of her declining mental well-being and this ultimately leading to her being “replaced”. but yeah.

as for tim and reader, i did mention before in one of the backgrounds that initially, reader didn’t accept tim as the new robin, but she did soften up to it later on. though that didn’t really help close the gap between her and tim since there was no proper reason (at the time) for tim to be close to reader. (because unlike dick who was guiding him and helping him along the way whilst he was robin, reader couldn’t really do much for him, and vice versa)

and for dick, yeah it was definitely much easier for him to bond with damian, especially since this was during the time when bruce was dead and he had to take over as batman. and during this time, reader was actively disobeying dick and technically pushing him away whilst she was trying to prove that she’s alright (she was not) so it’d make sense why reader and dick’s relationship is strained i guess.

idk at this point i’m yapping LOL but thanks for your thoughts and input <3

[chmyri]

OH MY FUCKING GOD I THOUGHT FOR SURE ICE ADOLESCENCE WAS CANNED, THIS IS LITERALLY CRUMBS BUT I'LL FUCKING TAKE IT, look i watched yuri on ice when it was airing, i was 11 and it fucking changed my life, it's a very important show to me personally I'VE WAITED 7 YEARS AND I'M PREPARED TO WAIT MORE, I DON'T CARE IF EVERYBODY ELSE GAVE UP ON THIS MOVIE RELEASING I DON'T CARE THAT NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE CARE FOR THE FRANCHISE ANYMORE I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! I'M PUTTING MY FULL FAITH INTO THIS MOVIE UNTIL IT RELEASES OR IT'S OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED TO BE DEAD

[erinwantstowrite]

NOOOO it’s too cute, Peter’s everyone’s favorite nephew 😭 (ignore that he’s the only nephew)

even when there are a million insane Bats running around in the future, Peter will be the favorite because he's 1) the oldest and 2) their big brother's baby. he'll also be the favorite cousin and brother because it's in his genes to be loved beyond measure

[uncanny-tranny]

The effort to turn every trans person into a political activist and place the burden of political leadership onto us is the same mindset as thinking trans lives are inherently political. Combating this means holding trans people to individual standards. If a trans person occupies political spaces, it should be because they have chosen to, not because people look at their transness and the "political implications" and it is all they can see

[teyrnacousland]

When we find out that the elves were spirits there's a whole debate about whether or not we should tell people. Why don't we do that when we find out that some of the core beliefs of Andrastianism are a lie?

[shu-bullshit]

WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK INTO THE MIRROR?

I have to leave this song here, not my favorite but the lyrics are just too fitting.

[thetriggeredhappy]

Hello! I really liked the recent chapter you posted. I'm excited to see more :]

Do you mind elaborating on Spy's jewishness? It's a very fun headcanon and I'd like to learn what you think about it ^_^

sure! first of all 🍉🍉🍉 to be clear

sniper and spy are the only two who i’ve explicitly stated as jewish within the text, i think, and likely the only two for whom it’s going to come up super frequently, but i also do think that tony’s wife theresa is jewish, as is collin’s wife lily, and i don’t think any singular one of them is the classic Monolith To Represent An Entire Culture Singularly.

i imagine spy was somewhat heavier on tradition for himself, more orthodox, follows kosher, that sort of thing, and that if his family were still physically present enough to be part of his life they would be absolutely flabbergasted that he married an irish catholic woman and even more flabbergasted at how chill she is about it. i imagine spy is a pretty private guy but went out of his way to stay in contact with the judeo-french community in boston. this would’ve been around, like, ~1940 or so? the O’Connell family i always believed to be closer to South End, which was historically a cultural hub in the city. him being part of espionage efforts as a teen throughout the 20s means that he had a pretty unusual immigrant experience for that reason, but i thought it was more interesting to sort of keep spy more grounded in reality compared to the team fortressing of the rest of the peripheral landscape. some of the older boys who remember when spy was around remember how hard spy and ma worked to celebrate the holidays for both catholic traditions and french jewish traditions, and archie for example has tried to pass that on to his own kids as well.

sniper meanwhile i have grounded as kind of the ‘my family is jewish but um y’know not in the way that people hate’ brand ‘palatable immigrant or different culture trying not to take up space in a place that is not necessarily friendly to outsiders’ story. his mum and dad were the only jewish people in their relatively small community by the time sniper was a young boy and they really did try to keep up traditions, but it’s hard when you have no outside support to help reinforce that stuff. sniper has a (relatable) internal sense of being both an outsider to the predominant culture while also not feeling confident enough in it being ‘his culture’ to make any claims for himself. i imagine that if he could meet some of spy’s old buddies in boston and connect a little more with the diaspora he would be able to start feeling more of that pride and connection, but as it is he’s caught between dodging antisemitism and denying a culture that does matter to him but in a way that’s difficult to verbalize and not often asked about.

i think spy and sniper might bicker about it at times in later chapters, next chapter in particular. scout’s ma is definitely going to make at least one more comment about scout getting married to a nice jewish boy though. that trope in media about east coasters is just too much of a staple to pass up.

[dol-dee]

chibified bastards

the relationship chart is my excuse to finally post these chibies! Please note that I've only included the NPC's that I already created designs for. Otherwise Robin would be included, naturally

[flowerxdance]

I need Dungeon Meshi season 2 because I need to stop seeing anime-onlys hating on Kabru and calling him a sociopath/narcissistic (completely misusing those words and misreading his entire character and being ableist at the same time).

[moe-broey]

Crazy how I can recount something from my adolescence about how I was raised and still manage to make my therapist (who I have been seeing for Years) still go Oh. That's... 😶

Like obviously professional quick recovery style but like. Has an immediate grounding effect and gives eye opening perspective in point zero seconds. Like ooooohh. You see, I was operating under the impression that like, this is a fairly run of the mill and expected experience for someone like me with my lived experiences. Like I could just say this and anyone would know exactly what I'm getting at without needing to provide all the details and thought processes at play here.

Hm. Well,

[y-rhywbeth2]

I'll cling to my "Durge remains an outsider and quasi-deity" headcanon 'til the world ends and won't let go, but I suppose there's a potential story in Jergal rendering them fully mortal, because mine... would not take the theft of their divinity well. (Having been forged and used as a murder weapon and other things beside from "birth", with promises of godhood and destiny whispered in your ear your entire life... all this warping your mind, and then being brutally murdered, having everything you were stripped away and told to live a normal life with all that blood and filth on your tainted flesh, and your mind warped and twisted into obscene shapes, left behind in a world you don't belong in... yeah no. That's not working out well with this guy.)

After a few subsequent rage freak outs the cycle would just begin anew as it continued in Bhaal; adventuring in search of power, researching gods and ancient powers to hunt down and slay for their divinity. Maybe the hunt should start with the Dead Three... Myrkul went down easily enough... Doesn't have to be a full god; just so long as he's not forced to be a person.

That or he'll just find a way to annihilate his soul.

[cupidskissx]

Yes it isn’t fair. Yes Logan doesn’t deserve to be sidelined and feel this level of humiliation and disillusionment. However, this sport isn’t (and won’t ever be) virtuous. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry built on ambition, arrogance and greed. Complying with society’s moral compass isn’t always in a team’s best interest.

At the end of the day points are the most valuable commodity in F1. More than reputation, more than sponsorships, more than a positive PR story.

Statistically Alex is the more consistent driver. A momentary hit to the Williams name in order to increase their potential for points is unfortunately, but ultimately, the correct decision for the team.

[beforeitrains]

I keep thinking about what Tiffany might have been like before she joined the cult. I imagine that she held a day job as an office assistant (boring!), but was also deeply into goth culture and music (it was the late 70s! the rise of the goth rock bands!), maybe even dreaming of becoming a star someday. Lisa and Tiffany met in an underground lesbian bar, where Tiffany was due to play that night. The concert sucked, but Lisa was enchanted with Tiffany's presence and energy. And Tiffany was enchanted, because Lisa was enchanted (it wasn't often that someone took her stage aspirations seriously). Just a week later though, Lisa's new flame stopped answering phone calls. Her apartment was vacated. Rumor had it that Tiffany got kicked out for performing Satanic rituals. So, yeah, as John later told his friend over a tub of ice cream, Lisa really dodged a bullet with that one.

Years later, Lisa had the misfortune of booking a room in the New Haven apartment complex. The place had leaky pipes and the landlord looked like a serial killer. Lisa was about to demand her deposit back, when she noticed a familiar name on one of the mail slots. Tiffany changed. She lost weight, her fancy gothic outfits were nowhere to be seen. Her room smelled like an animal died behind the wall, and she wouldn't shut up about someone called Gary. Leaving her in this state was not an option, so Lisa begrudgingly settled for the room she originally booked. The landlord was happy with her change of heart. He then asked for a month's worth of rent in advance.

John coughed disapprovingly when Lisa told him about the whole ordeal over the phone. He always thought that loud-mouthed scary-looking goth woman wasn't a good match for Lisa. But upon hearing all the enthusiasm and compassion in his friend's voice, he left his opinions to himself.