#if i don’t like feeling this way then i need to lead by example and get better at accepting compliments and help

[literaryvein-reblogs]

When your Characters Need to Build Trust in their Relationship

High trust levels are key to a healthy, lasting relationship—here are a few tips on how to build trust from psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel.

Trust - the act of feeling comfortable, safe, and cared for in a relationship.

It is a vital bedrock of a successful relationship because it allows each person to be vulnerable with the other and continue to feel supported and sustained.

It encourages teamwork, collaboration, and healthy interdependence and is a sign of emotional intelligence (or, as Esther calls it, “relational intelligence”), effective communication, mutual respect, emotional intimacy, and overall well-being.

In a romantic relationship without a foundation of trust, partners may feel uncomfortable, insecure, or anxious. Sustained trust issues or a complete lack of trust in a long-term relationship can lead to overwhelming emotional strain, burnout, breakup, and even physical and mental health problems.

How to Build Trust With a Romantic Partner

Trust is one of the building block of a healthy relationship. Here are a few different ways to build trust according to Esther:

Determine your relationship to trust and risk. In Esther’s experience, building trust starts with understanding your own needs. “Do you see yourself as someone who needs to trust first? Or do you see yourself more as someone who is more quick at taking risks?” Taking stock of your own needs allows you to “ground yourself in the reality of the here and now” before building trust with a partner. “Some people say that you need to trust someone, a relationship, before you are feeling okay to take risks with that person. But some people will say—and this is how the research divides around trust as well—that it is actually by taking risks that the trust develops.”

Embrace taking micro-risks with your partner. Esther recommends taking very small risks as a way to practice trust-building in a relationship, creating a little trust at a time as you work toward deep emotional intimacy. “A micro risk … is not a specific thing,” she explains. “It’s the thing that I don’t usually do.” Examples of micro risks may be sharing information about your personal life, making an observation of the other person, challenging yourself to say “no” to something, or challenging yourself to ask for something—as long as it’s something you don’t normally do. Once you take the risk, you can see how the other person responds to it and continue building levels of trust (or identify that something isn’t working). “It's an experience that is built through mutuality and reciprocity,” Esther explains.

Learn to navigate breaches in trust. “When [trust] breaks, it feels shattered and unable to ever be put back together,” Esther says. That response is completely normal—breaches in trust hurt, especially in lasting relationships. “But, in fact, [trust] is quite malleable,” she says. “Life and new experiences, like grafting new cells on top, slowly allow us to experience the trust again.” Avoid jumping to conclusions or making hasty judgments—instead, give the other person the benefit of the doubt, allow yourself time to recover from breaches in trust, and then check in with yourself using your new life experiences to decide how to move forward and whether you can repair things. Even when trust decreases, it is possible to slowly rebuild trust through careful, hard work.

“Trust is one of these concepts that suffers from a definitional vagueness. We all know when we feel it, and we all know when we don’t. But what is it? Is it a feeling? Is it a condition? Is it an outcome? Is it a state? What is trust? And the research is all over the place. At the end of many, many, many papers, what you hear is the sentence, ‘The research could use more research on how to define trust.’” —Esther Perel

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[cluedoenthusiast]

Big Autism Post

(I'm not calling him autistic. These are just some autistic traits that I've noticed that he has that neurotypicals can also have)

This is a list of ND traits, each with a few examples of instances or whatever:

Like to lead conversations and provide extensive information on the specific topics you are interested in.

Find it easier to talk ‘at’ people, rather than engaging in a two-way conversation.

“Oh… I forgot to bring my cheat sheet. I’ve got a folder with notes, which I planned on bringing with me. But it also feels a little know-it-all and self-conscious to start giving a lecture from my own notes here. My best line… I wouldn’t know! I simply don’t know all the lyrics by heart yet. [long pause] I think ‘Big Ideas’ as a whole is a very accomplished song.” [X]

Have your own unique phrases and descriptive words.

“A bone-coloured gentleman” - him describing a spider [X] [+post I made a while back about him and words]

Find building and maintaining close friendships and relationships difficult in a range of environments.

hmm 🤨

May use facial expressions and make gestures when speaking with people that others find unusual.

This whole interview is just him stimming but specifically watch 1:46 in the video when jamie mentions it

The Zane Lowe The Car Interview where he’s doing the same hand stim over and over again

He makes a pained expression sometimes when he’s just talking about normal things but there’s too many examples to get

Autistic individuals are often perceived as controlling. + Have a strong desire to set and follow rules, whether in the classroom, work or social situations.

“…but I'm quite a control freak." He grins. "There's a bit of that." [X]

Would you describe yourself as a control freak in the studio? “Yeah, probably… (Laughs) well, definitely. I think somebody needs to take the reins and I’m happy to do that. I’m sure it’s quite annoying for other people at times, but I think they’re glad that someone is… not exactly in charge but has a vision.” [X]

Alex Turner is not satisfied with the light of the room chosen to serve as the basis for our interview. It is a small and cozy hipster hotel in the neighborhood of Los Feliz, in Los Angeles, of those who are above a cafe with tables occupied by young people on the computer and without queues at the cash registers that do not accept cash payment. The leader of Arctic Monkeys, the largest rock band to leave the United Kingdom in the last 20 years, moves the switches until he finds the perfect balance of luminosity. "Is that okay with you?" he asks, but doesn't seem to care much about the answer. Turner likes to have full control over his environment. "Where do you want to sit? Here will be the best place, right?" he asks, with coffee in his hand, already standing in front of a small beige table below the lamp that insisted on not releasing the proper light. Shy to the point of never completing an entire sentence, as if the mouth did not accompany his fast brain, Turner is fully aware of his obsession with control and attention to detail, something that has become greater in recent years ahead of the band. [X]

Have intense conversational focus on subjects that interest you, combined with a minimal interest to engage in conversation on other topics.

This interview (2:08 - end) where he kept talking about wrestling (+finger flicking) while the interviewer kept trying to steer the conversation back to the question.

This TBHC moment where he got excited about something Zane said.

May speak in a monotone, with an accent, in a very proper and formal way or not at all.

I’m very excited. I want to just… y’know, jump up and down on the bed :|

Zane Lowe bullying his “nice one”

Making repetitive body movements, such as hand clapping, hand flapping or rocking, making noises, or frequently clearing the throat, also known as stimming.

Hair + Head/Neck hold

Rocking

His shoulder tappy thing + the shoulder hug thing he does when he’s nervous like when he met Julian Casablancas

Eyes

Jaw

Fingers + finger biting + finger biting (gay)

Arm rub

Legs

The Car 

Prefer hanging around on your own, rather than joining in with others.

“I like to feel foreign, alone. That said, I probably live far too much inside my head, it would be good for me to have more relationships with real people.” [X]

There are fan stories about them seeing him eating alone at like 2am or something but those don’t count everyone does that

Anxiety in social settings

“[very long pause] I just don’t wanna get it wrong in front of everybody” (when asked about his favourite dessert)

Him apologising for calling Batman’s butler Albert instead of Alfred (I lost it ): ) (update: [X] thanks slippy)

His ipod suddenly playing T-Rex

“It’s gonna be alright…”

…The next day, Turner sends me an apologetic email. “I sat myself too far away from my internal cue cards and few sentences made it to the finish line,” he admits. [X]

I would fire a question at them and Miles would respond at length while Alex would emit, perhaps, a tiny smile and draw back a little further in his chair. If you address a question directly to Alex he clams up. If you ignore him then, bit by bit, he comes back because Alex clearly thinks Miles is amazing. [X]

"I was racking me brain for this," he admits in his undimmed Northern accent, holding up a little piece of paper covered in hand-scratched recollections. (Mistaking the hotel lunch menu for his notes at one point, he even cracks a self-deprecating joke; Tuscan kale, he knows, is not the answer we came for.) [X]

Ability to “hyper-focus” on work or a specific interest

“I’d just gotten obsessed with cardboard.” (not a great example but it’s funny)

Experiencing emotions more intensely than others

- “He just feels a bit…. I don’t know… Fragile”

Often accused of being rude or blunt.

no need for example 

May have perfectionism in certain areas.

Find that others don’t understand how you are feeling and say that “it is hard to know what you are thinking”.

I can’t find a good example for these two, but it’s been mentioned before.

Masking, where specific behaviours are consciously or unconsciously concealed to fit into social norms or to avoid negative responses from others.

"You know how Shakira's hips don't lie? Well mine are incredibly good liars. A mask if you like." (I looked everywhere for the video I had it saved a few years ago but I can’t find it)

Echolalia and vocal stims

“Stupid slow dirty PC” & “The year is 1965” [X]

“Ipswich”

“In the big room”

“Spectrum section spectrum” (was not a stutter, he just liked those words together)[X]

Stealing peoples accents and mannerisms

Andy: “…he soaks accents up a lot, ‘cause when he started hanging around with Miles quite a lot, he started to get a bit of a Scouse twinge to his accent.” [X]

His Americanish accent in that SIAS interview (I can’t find it, but he says the word “pretty” in an American accent)

Dino hands: This unique posture, colloquially known as "autistic T-Rex arms," is commonly observed among autistic individuals.

Dino hand compilation

While not every neurodivergent person reports high justice sensitivity, and many people with high justice sensitivity are not autistic or ADHD, this can be an autistic or ADHD trait.

The Green Book: Everyday Guide to Saving The Planet [you can also spot “The Abortion” and “Natural cures and gentle medicines”]

Recycling (4:00)

Telling the interviewer that it’s wrong to say “The Gays” [X] (5:06)

“I once stole a ‘Dip Dap’. I walked out of the shop immersed in thought and when I came to the next crossing, while I was enjoying my lolly, I suddenly realised that I hadn’t paid for it. So I walked back to the shop and kindly paid for it.” [X]

May struggle with eye-contact (either too little or too much)

“Alex Turner on the other hand is an inveterate fiddler with keys or phone while he talks. Otherwise he has the slightly unnverving habit of staring at you unblinkingly with his dark brown eyes, like a curious young horse.” [X]

Some autistic individuals struggle with being on time

“Matt: He's always late. He's like clockwork in his lateness. Yesterday in Southhampton, the bus was picking us up at half 12 at the hotel to go to the venue, and [tour manager] Timm phoned him, goes, 'Al, where are you? The bus is here.' Everybody knew what time they had to be down there. He said, 'I'm watching Danger Mouse'. He was still in bed.” [X]

Obsessive interests

Whatever show he's currently watching (The Sopranos, The Wire, Breaking Bad, True Detective etc…): “[Staring] Sorry, I’m just thinking about True Detective” [X] (17:53)

Space

Films (maybe this interview the most) + this clip “Man, Alex was really into this whole sci-fi thing, Man…” [X]

etc…

Zoning out/taking a long time to think

“Well, everything has changed. [2 minutes of silence while you can almost hear a movie playing in his head] …” [X]

Cluedo Enthusiast interview!

Distracted Compilation

Zoning out compilation

People describing him:

‘With Alex, I knew this was someone unconventional, a little bit different, with a brightness and a cleverness that would serve him well. He had a very original sense of humour, as you'd expect, but he was always quite reserved. I remember giving a class a bollocking once, and he was sitting there like Gromit from Wallace and Gromit – mute, but with these incredibly expressive raised eyebrows, as if he was saying sarcastically: "Ooooh – we've really cocked it up now."’

Alex was never particularly vocal, but you could sense when some pieces of poetry moved him. [X]

I think one of the Gallaghers called him a weird guy but he likes him or smt it was a tweet (update: “Strange little chap but I like him” [X])

“…In fact I began to think that Alex (Turner) might be in touch with them (aliens) in some way, the way he works on his lyrics. If there was a line to hone or edit he’d step outside without paper or a pen, stare at the horizon for a few seconds, then walk right back in and deliver some majestic new couplet. Seeing him conjure these lines from nothing I wonder if he’s not at least part extraterrestrial himself.” - Josh Homme 

Other:

Doesn’t like hearing himself

“And yet, in person, Turner, a man acclaimed as the voice of his generation, is surprisingly tongue-tied. “Where am I going with this? Uh… I… Yeah… No… I’m sorry, I’ve completely lost it,” he says at one point. “I just hear myself talking sometimes and I’m like bleurgh!” [X]

Taking off Headphones Compilation

Characters/embodiment autism

How he changes looks, haircuts, voices, accents etc depending on where he is in his life at a specific moment. 

This Compilation

Twitchy Compilation + him twitching when his phone rings here

Taratata

how hes weird in fan photos idk (not that he’s always weird but yknow)

The one instagram post where the fan asked him to smile and said it didn’t work out (I can’t find it they were skiing and she was a waitress) all i have is this:

I think in the last gif they said he was shy (and smelled like cigarettes)

well he’s terrible at faking a smile in general:

stupid smile compilation

Something about change? He’s been wearing the same clothes until they’re worn out and he always uses that brown bag. I dunno he seems like he loves change but I don’t know him and it’s none of my business (I’m aware of how ironic it is that I’m saying this at the end of this post)

For more stuff on this topic just visit my featured tag thingy.

This post is sponsored by this ask

[cloverapple]

Hi clover! just wanted to say you are one of my biggest motivators w shifting. I'm pretty new in this platform, but goodness y'all are awesome. from reading your and others' blogs, I've seen an immense shift (aha) in my mindset and beliefs. it's also caused me to have a talk with myself about my shifting journey.

with that, though, I found myself realizing this...thought. I was going to make my own post about it, but thought might as well ask for your opinion while I'm here. in my journal I wrote "I just got so obsessed with the idea I can leave my horrible life, I never fully believed in shifting itself." ever since I wrote that, it just clicked. don't get me wrong I believe in shifting (or else I wouldn't be here typing this), but not to such a full extent. now I'm a little stuck on how to move forward. I'm tired, but motivated. Filled with doubt, but bubbling with belief. I've been close, yet so far, and it feels like I've done everything to make myself shift. I know that I probably know everything I need to, but I still find myself scrolling here as if I'd find the answer that'll change everything. sorry if that was long hehe. but anyhow thank you for all your posts/advice/tips on here!!

hope you have a good day/night <3

The thing about belief in shifting that I’ve come to realize, the more I read other people’s stories and progress in my own journey, is that while the law of assumption is the force that drives everything, shifting itself is also a law. For example, you don’t need to believe in the law of assumption for it to be true or for it to apply—just like manifestation as a whole, shifting is always happening, whether you’re a shifter or not, whether you believe in it or not. That’s why even those who dismiss it as nonsense still shift.

Here’s a thought that might help: think of shifting as simply living, and living as you. Instead of focusing all your energy on putting faith into the act of shifting itself, believe in yourself. Trust yourself.

The crazy thing is, you don’t even need to trust yourself to shift, you just need to trust the process, trust the outcome, trust your journey, trust something. When you’re feeling lost, put your faith somewhere and dive in headfirst. It doesn’t matter where you go, you’ve already got everything you want—your DR, your desires and more. The way you choose to realize and remember that you’ve already got your desires is what will feel true to you.

I don’t know what that looks like for you, but what I do know is that you’re capable of shifting. You already know how to shift, and it’s always within your reach. You were destined for it the moment you began this journey. Reality shifting isn’t the kind of journey where you can just give up and turn around. All roads lead to shifting whether you like it or not. It starts the moment you choose to begin.

★ You said you probably already know everything? Awesome! Think of it like you’re taking a math exam. When you go in to take the exam, do you trust that you’ll score 100% on it? No, you trust your knowledge, you trust what you’re doing, even if there’s some doubt and tension as you’re jotting down the equations. And then what happens? Because you trusted yourself and went through with it despite having your doubts, you aced the test!

I hope this helps in some way ♡

[justmossyaps]

why is taking care of your friends so hard. this is supposed to be the one easy thing in the world

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I know its kind of silly to say “don’t feel bad for canceling because of pain, fatigue, etc” because I know guilt is a reflex you can’t easily refrain from. But you can reason with yourself so instead I’ll say this:

Nobody can feel what you’re feeling but you. Nobody knows the severity of what you would be putting yourself through if you were to “tough it out.”

If you do “tough it out,” the purpose for you doing the thing will most likely not be fulfilled anyway. You probably will not be mentally present or engaged. You probably will not have a good time or get much out of it. Etc.

If people really have such a problem with it, thats a huge red flag. Being transparent about your needs and boundaries is a great way to weed people like that out of your life.

If you have any kind of chronic illness or disability, remember that you probably have a very warped judgement of what is “reasonable” to endure in terms of pain, fatigue, burnout, etc.

You didn’t ask for this, you don’t deserve this, there is no reason you should have to bear the weight of it alone. I bet if someone else was in your position, you wouldn’t mind helping accommodate for them?

Low energy days are truly sacred, take them seriously. Please respect your body’s signals. “If you do not choose times to rest, your body will choose for you” or however the saying goes

It is so much pressure to have to deliberate what sacrifices are necessary for proper self care. Give yourself extra credit for having to deal with that stress on top of whatever is putting you in that position in the first place. Thats a lot at once

You are leading by example and showing others that you would never expect them to hurt or overextend themselves for your benefit. Putting yourself first always inspires other to do the same.

Please be proud of yourself for even considering canceling and putting your needs first. That is so strong of you <3

[webbluvrsugar]

omg size kink w ethan 1 bc that man is literally a giant + 2 bc your friends are always baffled on how the hell things even work with your size difference? i mean usually he’s much more submissive to you, which would surprise most people given his obvious physical advantage, but sometimes he does actually use that against you (esp when his emotions are high like when he’s just come back from a kill) bc he truly does let you be in control… until he doesn’t tehe🤭

a/n: how does you brain work this way omgggg!!! They have dorms in this one.

not proofread

﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆. ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭ size kink with Ethan Landry…

Ethan would never be the type of boyfriend to be dominant in your relationship, — not outside of bed, anyways — personally, he just found it more comfortable to let you lead him around, meanwhile, your friends found it funny, interesting, because… compared to Ethan, you were small, you often found yourself in situations where he towered over you, yet you can always order him around like a pup when you want him to and he’ll do it, and sure, they know how you two work, they just… don’t know how that would work in bed — it’s not that they were thinking about it…. It’s just that… Chad was hella drunk in that frat party and he couldn’t help but ask Ethan what everyone wanted to ask, and Ethan being.. well, Ethan, told his best friend right away even if he tried his best not to, he just prayed that Chad would forget it the next day.

Chad didn’t.

And maybe that’s why he told Mindy, that told Anika, that told Tara. After that, it’s like they started noticing little things he did that weren’t exactly submissive.

For example, if you’re walking in front of him, he’ll guide you with a hand on your lower back, sometimes, when he needs you to do something, he manhandles you, and if he’s especially stressed, he’ll hold you by the wrist instead of holding your hand. What hit the jackpot was when Mindy went to your dorm during a Saturday to do a project, a project you completely forgot, and that’s exactly how she found herself listening to your moans towards the door.

“P — Please, Ethan, slower..” you mewl, your hand reaching backwards to push on his pelvis, doesn’t last long, he pins it behind you right away.

“Shh, stay put, just fucking sit there and take it for a while, I know you can.” His thrusts are harsh and fast, one hand holds your head down while the other keeps wrapped around your wrist.

“What, you’re not gonna boss me around now?” He scoffs, it’s like he’s taking all the frustration of doing shit for you, on you, and he’s not kind or gentle the way he always is.

Honestly, Mindy thought Chad was bullshitting her, or that Ethan lied to her brother so he wouldn’t look bad, but now she doesn’t believe so, not when you sound like you’re getting murdered in there, whimpers so meek that she even finds it strange coming for your lips.

“Fuuuck, right there..” you moan into the pillow, your back arching in a pretty curve as you roll you eyes, Ethan makes sure he keeps his hands where you are, that his thrusts won’t slow down.

Mindy doesn’t spend any more time listening after that, she decides that this project you have to work on won’t happen today, so she just leaves.

“S — Shit, ‘m gonna cum, Ethan, I’m gonna —“ you gasp, he tugs on your hair, makes sure you can feel his fingers pulling on it as you finally find your release.

Next day, it doesn’t take more than two seconds of silence in the group for you both to start getting mocked.

[siyzuii]

shifting is self discovery.

excuse the yap but i think it’s very important that people realize how fundamental you are in your shifting journey and that you are literally the only thing you need to shift.

you do NOT need:

a method

subliminals

(guided) meditation

to look for advice hour after hour online

symptoms

the void state

lucid dreaming

to visualize

to use your 5 senses

a script

you DO need:

yourself

you can say fuck you to the universe, doubt as much as you want, and still shift. i say that because i’ve done it before even with doubts! so you can too!

“how do i shift?”

every time someone asks this i lose 5 years off my life span. i can’t determine that for you, nobody can. i can tell you what has personally worked for me and so can others, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work for you.

“so what do i do?”

sounds a bit harsh but you figure it out. and that’s what i mean by self-discovery.

of course, you can & should see what other people are doing to create a base line of what you think could work for you. for example try getting into the void state, see what happens from there. doesn’t work or you don’t like it? (because that obviously won’t do the same thing for everyone) try something else!

play around. add new things into the mix. affirmations. intention. you can visualize or use your 5 senses. keyword can. you don’t have to. because what do i think works the best? minding your business and shifting your own way.

remember that you can literally just say “fuck you i want to shift” and shift. you can shift accidentally. so who’s to say what you’re doing doesn’t work? (if it really doesn’t then you can adjust it slightly. look back on your behavior and think about what you want to change.)

seriously!

you can shift:

tired

awake

asleep

in the hypnagogic state (the state of the transition from wakefulness to sleep)

in the hypnopompic state (the state of consciousness leading out of sleep)

while dancing

sitting

standing

laying down

on the floor

accidentally

through a lucid dream

with doubts

and so much more i didn’t mention. seriously no need to overcomplicate it.

just remember that other peoples’ shifting journeys are not yours and that you’re the most important part of your own.

you are what makes you shift.

it’s not your subliminals or your method or whatever, it’s you. YOUUUU. subliminals? “methods”? those things? just helpful tools. they can HELP you shift, but there’s no guarantee.

for example, i personally have been getting more effective results after listening to specific subliminals regularly (psst.. i make sure they’re safe! to check if they are safe, look at the comments around the page and if you’re still not sure and you feel uneasy then do not use the subliminal. if it makes you feel unsafe or weird then do not use it. always read the benefits or what you can find in the description.) it works for me. it got me results (along with other stuff) but it might not give them to you and that’s okay. you don’t have to use subs.

just a reminder that you don’t need anything but yourself to shift <3

it’s self discovery because you’re learning from it and actively finding out (discovering) what works for you.

your shifting journey is yours so don’t make it rely on what someone else does.

THERE’S NO KEY TO SHIFTING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

[potato-lord-but-not]

Potato I’m coming into your asks with my head in my hands but I have to ask: how the HELL do you draw people kissing, you’ve gotten it down in such a ‘satisfying’ way I need to know your secrets

okay this is probably going to be really incomprehensible but I am TRYING my BEST

first, we must implement the tilt method. you want your faces to be tilting in opposite directions as to make room for the kiss. the heads tend to make a heart shape if you’re normal and draw the heads completely (oops). And the lips create a zig zag type shape. the person tilting towards us (right figure) having their nose and top lip visible, and the person tilting away (left figure) has just their bottom lip and chin visible.

and you can use this for two people being close, just about to kiss. although you don’t have to tilt em as far since they have more leeway, but the principle is still there

you can play around with this tho, and I have a few different ways of drawing a kiss to portray different things-

1 is more puckered, a light playful kiss that may not last long

2 has the mouths create an O shape, giving an air of a breathy slightly desperate kiss. it gives the impression that the kiss isn’t the focus, these two are more focused on what their hands are doing, how close they are, soaking in the feeling of being intimate ect etc.

3 is wider, closer, there could be some tongue action going on. They miss eachother and they want to smash their faces together as humanly possible

You can also use these when only one person is giving the kiss !!

PHASE TWO REAL WORLD EXAMPLES because one thing that aids in a good kiss is the BODY LANGUAGE. it gives the kiss more life and feeling, the above examples even have some shoulder action to further the vibe. Anyway. Exhibit A

a subtle tilt, but that works in favor of creating a more relaxed feel. their kiss is a mix between 2 n 3, wide and open, messy and passionate. they’re definitely taking their time.

this one’s a body language one !! just the kiss alone has much less going for it compared to the way they’re tangled together. Ford (right) is more relaxed, more confident. And Arthur (left) is a bit more weary but letting Ford take the lead. Arthur has his lips puckered more, while Ford’s are more relaxed and a bit more open (although it’s very subtle)

This one is mainly kiss with body language as an aid. Arthur’s (right) head is tilted up instead of to the side, leaving Oscar (left) to pick whichever direction. The kiss is mainly 3, with a hint of 2 to communicate the more desperate and eager vibe. This is also paired with the subtle head tilt away from eachother and solid position they’re in. This creates a relaxed and content feel, like they started off hungry but ultimately don’t want to take it any further.

Subtle head tilt, a kiss between 1 n 2, and idle bodies make for a relaxed, domestic and intimate feeling. they’re sharing a kiss that was intended to be quick, but they lingered a few seconds too long and now they’ll stay there for a good 15 minutes. hands resting on the other, lips gently touching, words exchanged between moments of no contact.

GOD SORRY ANYWAY I spent way too long rambling about my podcast men kissing I hope this was insightful I’ll take my leave

[majikkulu]

✮ ˖° ⸜ masterlist ꕤ ･

╭₊˚๑ i'm  not  a  professional  astrologer,  so  they  may  not  resonate  with  everyone. take  them  with  a  grain  of  salt.  consider  the  planets, degrees, etc! these  are  just  my  personal  observations  and  opinions!

☁️₊˚੭

⋆⁺₊ planets  in  the  first  house  or  conjuncting  your  ascendant  persona  chart  can  totally  transform  and  complicate  the  vibe  you  give  off.  it’s  kinda  like  in  the  natal  chart,  but  way  more  intricate.  these  planets  or  conjunctions  can  completely  overpower  or  reshape  how  your  rising  energy  plays  out.  the  rising  sign  is  like  the  canvas  of  a  painting,  and  the  planets  placed  within  or  near  it  are  the  brushstrokes  and  colors  that  bring  the  entire  image  to  life,  altering  its  mood  and  style.

⋆⁺₊ for  example:  i have capricorn  rising,  but  with  chiron  conjuncting my  ascendant.  that  makes  me  come  across  as  wounded,  insecure  about  my  self-image,  but  also  wise  and  compassionate  because  of  the  struggles  i’ve  been  through.  i  get  how  it  feels,  so  i  can  help  others  through  it.  self-confidence  can  be  a  real  issue  with  this  placement.  then  add  neptune  and  uranus  in  the  first  house,  and  suddenly,  i  might  look  like  a  hard-to-read,  dreamy  mystery.  neptune  tends  to  soften  the  energy  of  the  risign  sign,  so  it  makes  my  serious  capricorn  vibe  a  little  more…  fluid.  i  don’t  always  see  myself  the  way  others  do,  and  that  adds  to  the  confusion.  uranus,  though,  makes  my  capricorn  rising  unpredictable,  way  less  steady  than  your  average  cap.  it  leaves  me  torn  between  capricorn’s  need  for  stability  and  the  freedom-loving  pull  of  uranus.

⋆⁺₊ conjunctions hit  harder.  they’re  more  obvious,  more  in  your  face,  while  planets  in  the  first  house  will  still  shift  things,  but  in  a  softer  way.

⋆⁺₊ if  you  have  no  planets  or  conjunctions  in  the  first  house,  whatever  sign  sits  there  takes  the  lead.  but  don’t  forget, other aspects  to  the  ascendant  can  shake  things  up  too!

✮ SUN IN THE 1ST you have a  cosmic  spotlight on you.  if  you’ve  got  this  placement,  consider  yourself  truly  blessed.  the  sun  is  the  dominant  force,  and  with  it  in  the  1st,  you  can't  help  but  shine.  this  placement  brings  a  natural  radiance  that  makes  you  stand  out  wherever  you  go,  even  if  you're  not  trying  to.  people  are  drawn  to  your  energy  and  notice  you  right  away.  no  matter  what  your  ascendant  is,  the  sun  amplifies  its  traits,  making  them  more  obvious  and  pronounced.  without  this  placement,  you’d  be  more  of  a  quiet  observer,  but  with  it,  you  become  the  full-on  main  character.  the  sun  makes  you  hyper-aware  of  how  you  present  yourself  and  how  others  see  you.  you're  aware  of  your  own  personality,  and  even  if  you  don't  try,  you  naturally  give  off  leadership  vibes.  with  the  sun  boosting  your  rising  sign,  your  traits  become  even  more  dominant.  you’re  less  likely  to  hide  who  you  are.  your  authentic  self  just  radiates  out,  making  you  impossible  to  ignore.

✮ MOON  IN  THE  1ST     you’re  likely  someone  who  wears  their  heart  on  their  sleeve.  your  emotions  are  easily  read  by  others,  and  you  come  across  as  emotionally  open  and  approachable.  people  can  sense  your  genuine,  heartfelt  energy  right  away.  this  placement  makes  you  naturally  vulnerable,  which  can  make  others  feel  seen  and  understood  by  you.  because  the  moon  is  a  deeply  sensitive  planet,  you're  attuned  to  the  moods  and  energy  of  those  around  you,  often  picking  up  on  subtle  shifts  in  atmosphere.  your  mood  can  influence  your  behavior,  making  you  appear  adaptable  and  fluid.  one  moment  you  might  seem  more  cheerful,  the  next  more  introspective—it  all  depends  on  the  emotional  climate  around  you.  this  also  extends  to  your  appearance,  which  might  change  based  on  how  you're  feeling.  you  likely  feel  most  comfortable  when  you're  nurturing  or  comforting  others,  and  this  side  of  you  may  be  the  most  visible.  intuitively,  you  might  protect  your  emotional  space  or  express  your  feelings  in  a  way  that  makes  you  seem  instinctive  and  open.  while  the  sun  helps  express  your  ascendant  traits  confidently  and  boldly,  the  moon  invites  you  to  express  your  inner  world  more  openly.  your  emotional  responses  to  situations  are  often  immediate,  and  you  might  rely  heavily  on  gut  feelings  and  intuition  to  guide  your  actions.  for  some,  the  moon  can  bring  out  a  more  private  side,  making  you  appear  sensitive  or  withdrawn,  and  people  may  see  you  as  someone  who  keeps  their  deeper  emotions  hidden.

✮ MERCURY  IN  THE  1ST         you’re  immediately  seen  as  sharp,  witty,  and  quick  with  your  words.  expressing  yourself  comes  effortlessly,  and  you  know  exactly  how  to  make  your  point  land.  people  are  drawn  to  engage  with  you  because  you’re  mentally  active  and  always  ready  to  process  information  and  come  up  with  solutions  on  the  fly.  this  placement  gives  you  a  youthful,  curious  vibe—you’re  the  kind  of  person  who  loves  to  learn  and  dive  into  debates  or  intellectual  discussions.  there’s  a  playful,  talkative  quality  to  you  that  makes  you  approachable  and  easy  to  talk  to.  mercury  in  the  1st  also  makes  you  more  flexible,  adjusting  your  communication  style  to  fit  the  situation.  you  probably  don’t  like  being  bored  and  are  constantly  seeking  mental  stimulation.  your  movements,  gestures,  and  even  the  way  you  stand  or  walk  often  reflect  your  thoughts  and  mental  energy—there’s  a  quickness  to  you.  you  might  have  a  rapid  speech  pattern,  talking  quickly  or  excitedly  as  your  thoughts  race  ahead.  this  placement  makes  you  come  across  as  highly  expressive,  and  mercury  enhances  whatever  sign  you  have,  making  it  more  adaptable  and  dynamic.  people  will  first  notice  you  through  the  way  you  talk,  as  mercury  tends  to  intellectualize  everything  it  touches,  giving  your  outward  persona  a  more  articulate,  thought-driven  quality.

✮ VENUS  IN  THE  1ST     your  entire  persona  is  wrapped  in  the  essence  of  venusian  charm.  even  if  the  sign  on  your  ascendant  is  a  bit  more  intense  or  harsh,  venus  smooths  it  out,  making  you  more  approachable  and  naturally  magnetic.  this  placement  infuses  you  with  an  effortless  attractiveness,  making  it  easier  for  people  to  like  you.  whether  you  want  to  or  not,  you  carry  a  flirtatious,  almost  romantic  energy  that  draws  others  in.  venus  makes  everything  you  do—how  you  speak,  how  you  dress,  how  you  carry  yourself—feel  beautiful  and  captivating.  no  matter  what  your  ascendant  sign  is  in  your  chart,  you’ll  always  come  across  as  charming  and  likable.  this  placement  enhances  your  natural  traits,  making  you  more  aesthetically  pleasing  and  easy  to  be  around.  you  likely  have  a  sense  of  style  and  elegance  that  shines  through  effortlessly,  and  you  probably  express  your  artistic  side  without  even  trying.  venus  gives  you  a  warm,  inviting  aura  that  people  find  hard  to  resist.

✮ MARS  IN  THE  1ST                your  rising  sign  gets  a  major  energy  boost.  if  your  rising  sign  is  usually  more  laid-back  or  passive,  mars  will  push  it  into  a  more  dynamic,  fast-paced  mode.  you’ll  come  across  as  bold,  determined,  and  not  afraid  to  go  after  what  you  want.  this  placement  gives  you  confidence  that  can  sometimes  border  on  aggression  or  impatience.  unlike  venus,  which  is  more  subtle  and  charming,  mars  in  the  1st  is in-your-face.  direct,  forceful,  and  unapologetically  assertive.  even  if  your  rising  sign  tends  to  be  reserved  or  private,  mars  makes  you  more  blunt  and  outspoken.  you’re  the  type  to  take  initiative,  preferring  to  make  things  happen  rather  than  waiting  for  them  to  come  to  you.  with  mars  in  the  1st,  you’re  not  one  to  back  down  easily.  you  hate  delays  and  indecision.  your  body  language,  speech,  and  movements  tend  to  be  sharp,  quick,  and  full  of  energy.  you  might  attract  competition  or  conflict,  but  that  doesn’t  faze  you.  your  presence  is  commanding,  and  you  radiate  an  intense,  magnetic  energy.  mars  makes  you  more  independent  and  tough,  as  it  thrives  on  strength  and  hates  being  seen  as  weak.  others  are  likely  to  see  you  as  dominant,  fiery,  and  undeniably  attractive.  you  speak  your  mind,  say  exactly  what  you  mean,  and  do  what  you  want.  whatever  your  rising  sign  is,  mars  amps  it  up  with  boldness  and  power,  making  your  presence  undeniably  strong  and  full  of  life.

✮ JUPITER  IN  THE  1ST            it   supercharges  your  rising  sign,  expanding  it  and  filling  you  with  an  infectious,  radiant  energy.  it  brings  a  positive,  uplifting  vibe  that  makes  your  personality  and  appearance  shine.  no  matter  what  your  rising  sign  is,  jupiter  infuses  it  with  an  adventurous,  optimistic  spirit.  this  placement  is  often  considered  lucky,  as  jupiter  amplifies  the  traits  of  your  ascendant,  making  them  even  more  prominent  and,  in  turn,  attracting  more  opportunities  your  way.  people  are  drawn  to  your  warmth,  generosity,  and  natural  confidence,  seeing  you  in  a  positive  light  and  trusting  you.  even  when  faced  with  challenges,  you  seem  to  always  land  on  your  feet.  with  jupiter  in  the  1st,  you  come  across  as  someone  who  thinks  big,  often  exuding  an  aura  of  wisdom  or  having  a  deep,  almost  philosophical  outlook.  if  your  rising  sign  tends  to  be  more  reserved,  jupiter  makes  you  more  open-hearted  and  expansive.  you  rarely  think  small  and  might  have  a  sense  of  destiny  or  purpose,  believing  that  great  things  are  possible.  however,  with  jupiter’s  expansive  nature,  there's  also  a  tendency  to  overdo  things—whether  it’s  speaking,  eating,  spending,  or  taking  risks.  sometimes,  your  confidence  can  border  on  overconfidence,  and  there’s  a  risk  of  exaggeration  or  arrogance.

✮ SATURN  IN  THE  1ST            is  the  complete  opposite  of  jupiter.  where  jupiter  brings  expansion  and  a  carefree  energy,  saturn  brings  structure  and  discipline.  this  placement  makes  you  more  composed,  reliable,  and  reserved.  you  come  across  as  serious,  with  a  strong,  but  often  intimidating  presence.  at  first,  people  may  find  you  distant,  wise,  or  even  unapproachable  until  they  get  to  know  you.  unlike  sun  or  jupiter,  which  express  personality  boldly  and  openly,  saturn  refines  and  controls  how  you  show  up.  you  tend  to  hold  back,  carefully  considering  what  you  say  and  how  you  present  yourself.  your  demeanor  is  serious,  professional,  and  mature—there’s  a  sense  of  caution  in  the  way  you  engage  with  others.  saturn  in  the  1st  doesn’t  offer  natural  luck  like  jupiter;  instead,  it  pushes  you  to  work  hard  for  everything  you  achieve.  you  don’t  rush  into  things  and  prefer  to  observe  before  acting.  others  may  feel  they  need  to  prove  themselves  to  you  before  you  open  up,  and  whether  intentional  or  not,  you  project  an  authoritative,  no-nonsense  vibe.  while  this  gives  you  a  sense  of  strength,  saturn  can  also  create  self-imposed  limitations  and  fears,  especially  around  expressing  your  true  self.

✮ URANUS  IN  THE  1ST  this  placement  makes  your  rising  sign  constantly  evolve,  giving  you  a  vibe  that’s  rebellious  and  unpredictable.  you  express  your  ascendant  traits  in  ways  that  are  bold,  electrifying,  and  often  out  of  the  ordinary.  while  it  might  feel  completely  normal  to  you,  to  others,  it’s  always  a  surprise.  your  presence  is  magnetic  and  full  of  sudden,  unexpected  shifts,  making  you  someone  people  can  never  fully  predict.  whether  it’s  through  fashion,  beliefs,  or  changes  in  personality,  you  constantly  reinvent  yourself,  and  at  different  points  in  your  life,  you  might  appear  completely  different.  you  naturally  challenge  authority,  disrupt  traditions,  and  question  outdated  norms  simply  by  being  yourself.  this  can  bring  competition  and  unnecessary  tension,  with  some  people  disliking  you  for  no  apparent  reason.  your  energy  is  captivating  and  full  of  surprises,  and  your  life  often  feels  like  a  series  of  twists  and  turns.  while  it’s  exciting,  it  can  also  feel  chaotic  or  offbeat  with  the  expectations  of  society.  this  placement  gives  you  an  eccentric,  unique  presence,  often  bringing  a  hot-and-cold  energy  that  keeps  people  on  their  toes.

✮ NEPTUNE  IN  THE  1ST   your  rising  sign  takes  on  a  dreamy,  mysterious  quality.  it  softens  the  traits  of  your  ascendant,  creating  an  ethereal  and  fluid  vibe  that  can  make  you  seem  like  you're  from  another  world.  there's  a  sense  of  transcendence  about  you—like  you're  part  of  this  world  but  also  not  fully  grounded  in  it.  people  might  find  you  elusive  and  hard  to  pin  down,  as  your  energy  is  gentle  and  often  difficult  to  read.  you  may  be  seen  as  too  sensitive  or  easily  affected  by  the  world  around  you.  neptune  brings  a  sense  of  idealization,  both  of  yourself  and  others.  sometimes  you  can  project  a  perfection  that  isn’t  fully  accurate,  which  can  lead  to  others  feeling  let  down  if  they  get  too  close  or  if  things  don't  live  up  to  the  ideal  you’ve  created.  this  foggy  influence  means  you  may  struggle  with  presenting  your  true  self  clearly,  leading  to  confusion  or  contradictions  in  how  others  perceive  you.  ultimately,  you  come  across  as  mysterious,  with  an  air  of  wonder  but  also  a  subtle  sense  of  ambiguity.

✮ PLUTO  IN  THE  1ST                 pluto  amplifies  everything  about  your  rising  sign,  adding  a  deep  intensity  and  transformative  energy.  there's  a  magnetic,  almost  hypnotic  quality  to  your  presence  that  others  can't  help  but  be  drawn  to.  people  may  find  themselves  inexplicably  attracted  to  you,  and  whether  you're  aware  of  it  or  not,  you  have  a  profound  influence  on  those  around  you.  your  energy  is  compelling,  and  you  leave  a  lasting  impact  the  moment  you  enter  someone's  life.  pluto  in  the  1st  makes  your  self-expression  ever-evolving,  pushing  you  to  constantly  shed  old  identities  and  embrace  transformation.  you're  unafraid  to  face  uncomfortable  truths  about  yourself,  and  you're  aware  of  both  your  light  and  your  shadow.  through  personal  rebirths  and  self-discovery,  pluto  forces  you  to  confront  your  deepest  fears,  and  this  gives  you  a  resilience  and  depth  that  others  can  sense,  even  if  they  can't  quite  put  their  finger  on  it.

✮ NORTH  NODE  IN  THE  1ST          this  placement  encourages  you  to  step  into  your  most  authentic  self,  embracing  your  individuality  and  destiny.  it's  about  self-discovery  and  learning  to  express  who  you  truly  are,  rather  than  conforming  to  others'  expectations.  with  the  North  Node  in  the  1st,  you're  pushed  to  assert  your  personal  identity  with  confidence  and  independence.  you  might  feel  a  deep  desire  to  understand  who  you  really  are  and  express  yourself  freely,  with  a  strong  need  to  project  your  true  essence  to  the  world.  this  placement  calls  for  you  to  take  charge  of  your  life  and  make  choices  that  are  aligned  with  your  personal  truth.  it  often  leads  you  to  work  on  self-acceptance  and  assert  your  identity  in  ways  that  set  you  apart  from  others.  your  presence  should  feel  authentic,  as  you  are  meant  to  stand  out  and  live  in  a  way  that  reflects  your  unique,  true  self.

✮ CHIRON  IN  THE  1ST           your  wound  is  closely  tied  to  how  you  present  yourself  to  the  world.  you  may  struggle  with  feelings  of  being  incomplete  or  flawed,  which  could  lead  to  self-doubt.  this  placement  can  make  you  feel  misunderstood  or  disconnected  from  your  identity.  however,  it  also  gives  you  a  deep  understanding  of  others'  vulnerabilities,  as  you've  likely  experienced  your  own  challenges  in  this  area.  chiron's  influence  can  bring  a  lack  of  confidence  and  difficulty  fully  embracing  your  unique  identity.  there's  often  a  tendency  to  hold  back,  as  you  might  fear  rejection  or  not  fitting  in.  healing  for  you  comes  through  helping  others  with  their  own  struggles,  as  it  allows  you  to  work  through  your  insecurities.  issues  related  to  body  image  or  how  you  feel  others  perceive  you  could  also  be  present  with  this  placement.

[glowettee]

the real secret to self-improvement no one talks about

hi lovelies, it's mindy

self-improvement isn’t just about perfect morning routines or buying cute stationery. while those things are fun, they’re only surface-level. real self-improvement goes deeper. it’s about creating meaningful, lasting change in your life. if you’re tired of the same recycled advice and want to level up in a way that sticks, this post is for you.

✨ 1. repair before you upgrade

you can’t build a glow-up on a broken foundation. most people dive straight into new habits and routines without addressing the things holding them back. maybe it’s overthinking, procrastination, or negative self-talk. whatever it is, fixing those cracks first will make everything else easier.

actionable tip: spend time journaling or reflecting on the things that sabotage your progress. ask yourself:

what’s draining my energy?

what beliefs are holding me back?

what habits do I need to stop?

self-awareness is the first step to meaningful change.

✨ 2. curate your inner aesthetic

we talk so much about physical aesthetics; outfits, skincare, room decor. but what about your mental aesthetic? your inner world is just as important as what’s on the outside.

ask yourself: is my mind calm and confident, or is it cluttered with negativity and self-doubt? start curating your mental space like you’d curate your pinterest boards.

unfollow people who drain you.

limit scrolling and spend time doing things that actually bring you joy.

romanticize stillness, it doesn't matter if it’s taking a slow walk, reading, or just lying in bed and thinking about life.

actionable tip: create a mental vision board. write down three feelings you want to embody (e.g., peace, gratitude, confidence) and focus on habits that help you get there.

✨ 3. think small to go big

one of the biggest mistakes in self-improvement is focusing on huge, intimidating goals. instead, start with micro-challenges, small, manageable steps that feel fun and doable.

for example:

instead of aiming to wake up at 5 a.m., try waking up 15 minutes earlier for a week.

don’t overhaul your diet overnight; start by drinking one extra glass of water daily.

tiny wins build momentum, and that momentum keeps you going.

actionable tip: pick one micro-challenge to start this week. it could be as simple as organizing your desk or texting a friend you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. small changes lead to big transformations.

✨ 4. audit your environment

your environment shapes your energy. if your space is cluttered, your mind will feel the same. start by decluttering one area of your life.

but don’t stop at physical spaces. think about the people you surround yourself with too. are they uplifting and inspiring, or are they draining your energy? leveling up sometimes means letting go of what doesn’t align with your future self.

actionable tip: dedicate one day this week to an “environment refresh.” declutter one physical space and evaluate one relationship. ask yourself: does this align with the person i want to become?

✨ 5. embrace your soft power

self-improvement doesn’t have to be intense or overwhelming. there’s strength in soft, intentional growth. it’s not about becoming someone else; it’s about becoming the best version of you.

romanticize your growth. make it feel special:

play calming music while you clean your room.

use a pretty notebook for your to-do lists.

light a candle before you start studying.

the more enjoyable your journey feels, the more likely you are to stick with it.

actionable tip: turn self-improvement into a ritual. add little touches that make the process feel fun and cozy, like wearing your favorite outfit while journaling or drinking tea while planning your week.

✨ key takeaways

real self-improvement isn’t about quick fixes or following trends. it’s about improving yourself in small steps that align with YOUR path.

hopefully this post helped you all

<3 mindy.

[cheyisagirlkisser]

Your writing is mwah 💕 if you ever want, can you do a spoiled bratty femme who's possessive (for example: gripping abby's chin, leaving kiss marks, hickeys, sitting on abby's lap etc), mouthy, playful x possessive!dom!abby too? it starts sfw (with a light 'fight/argument' between them being both jealous and then turn into nsfw? ilyyyy 🫶🏼✨

also abby is too fuckin hot to handle ah...i need her carnally

content: 18+ content, possessive bratty reader/possessive dom abby (toxic duo), fem reader, hickies, nail scratches, and lipstick stains left on each other, mentions of possessive behavior at parties and during sex, reader likes to stalk abby's socials, ellie cameo (she is a friend of reader who abby is jealous of), argument and insults leading to rough sex, grinding, manhandling, clit stim & fingering (r! receiving), groping (tits and ass), strap-on sex, petnames (princess, 'abs')

word count: 2.7k

You don’t enjoy getting jealous, but it can’t be helped at times. Especially not the times when you are harmlessly stalking Instagram comments left on Abby's posts and see girls flirting with her in them. Not that she’d ever entertain it, of course. It's the fact that the comments are there is what gets you irrationally mad. You wonder if she has read them. You wish she would just take them down instead of leaving them up for your own humiliation, for others to see the way cherryvalentine_90 spams filthy things under your girlfriend's gym pictures.

Simply sitting on your couch, adorned in baggy pajamas and humble mismatched underwear, you spend your time sabotaging by taking deep dives through Abby's instagram. You eventually reach the bottom of her page, but not before you end up bitter. Reruns of an old tv show are only existing in the background now, leaving a tense feeling throughout the room that poor Abby is unaware of in her own house, probably thinking sweet thoughts of her pretty girl. 

You nearly drop your phone when Abby randomly calls you. Your brain goes through a small, impulsive thought process. You hit the red circle, and go back to doom scrolling. Your instagram reels are all shitty regurgitated tiktoks and you’ve never even cared to watch them before, but you’re hardly paying attention now anyways. You know Abby is going to worry. She will call again and text until she inevitably knocks on the door, and then the familiar cycle will pan out.

You don’t mean to be jealous. 

It’s rare in the past that you cared this much about trivial matters involving your partner. With Abby though? Things are entirely different. You feel the need to always kiss and love on her when you’re in public and other girls are staring, like at a party last week when she had her hands spread out around your waist the entire time as you sat on her lap to keep other girls from even looking at her. The constant need to remind her that she is yours lives within you, and it isn't a subtle one, either. But is it really so bad to cover your girlfriend's lovely tits in a hickey or two? Is it really the worst if you stalk her instagram, and often find yourself cupping her face while you look so intensely at her pouty lips, smashing yours onto them to imprint your own name into them through kisses?

Abby isn't a saint, either. Often will you feel her lips ghost over your neck, leaving dark purple marks and whispering to allege that you’re hers and nobody else’s. Reminding you that not another soul gets to touch you or fuck you, and not a single person in this party will be leaving with you but her. At the same time, Abby loves to make fun of you for getting jealous while she feels the same bouts of possessiveness. The only difference is, she is subtle and quiet about it. You don’t hesitate to make a scene over another girl even glancing Abby’s way.

You can’t be too surprised by the terse knock on your front door. You stand up, heading to the door with attitude-filled defenses prepared. 

You open the door to an Abby with her arms crossed, in a tank top that makes you want to pull her in and forget all about the grievances (of absolutely nothing), but you are unfortunately too much of a brat for that. 

“What did I do this time?” Abby asks, already sounding utterly exasperated. 

“Nothing you did, of course. I just don’t appreciate it when you don’t delete the countless comments other women leave on your posts. You must like the attention.” You state in a fake nonchalant tone, though you’re far from anything calm. Abby knows this, too.

Abby scoffs at you, but almost seems amused at your reasoning for acting out. “Seriously? You know I don’t check my comments like you do, babe. I don’t even entertain that shit, and neither should you.” 

“Oh, but when my friend Ellie commented on my post, you told me to delete it.” You argue back. 

“That was because I felt like Ellie was into you!” Abby retorts, getting more defensive now. She walks right past you and into your home, sighing. “You always get way too in your head, babe. I’ll delete the comments if they make you that upset, but I’m not putting up with the attitude.” 

You feel a little childish now, standing in front of her after a major meltdown. Still, you can’t help but push. “Yeah, well Ellie would have deleted them months ago.” 

Abby’s intentions quickly change from “we can work this out” to crazy, possessive thoughts of just fucking the name Ellie out of your system. She wants to make you forget Ellie even exists. So, she does what she probably shouldn’t do on impulse. She steps forward, entering into your space. 

“You really think Ellie is better than me?” She asks, voice low and almost dangerous. When you don’t reply, suddenly obedient, she instead finds it disrespectful. Abby leans in closer, lips nearly brushing against yours. The tension heightens by multiple levels. “If you really want Ellie so much, be my guest. But don’t come crawling back the next day begging me to fuck you when she can’t get you off. If you want me, I’ll fuck you right there on your couch, no bratty attention needed.” 

Her words send a wave of butterflies through your lower stomach and make your cheeks hot with a mixture of embarrassment and arousal. You still can’t find your voice, tongue-tied by how quickly she shut you down. Words aren’t needed, anyway. In only seconds, your lips are on hers, your arms are wrapping around the back of her neck to allow for you to mold your body against hers. She kisses you back with equal intensity, a kiss that isn’t as sweet and tender as the previous, but instead a result of two very jealous people. 

Her hands slide down to cup your ass through your pajamas, earning herself a soft, desperate whine that she can swallow from your lips. Her tongue flicks at yours before just opting to suck on it, loving how you react to every little thing she does. 

Kisses grow more and more frenzied until Abby has enough of the touchy-feely. Her hands find your legs, hitching them up to wrap around her waist, and pick you up. You let out a surprised squeak, but don’t complain, and certainly don’t break the kiss. You crash down onto the couch in a heap, entangled, with hands roaming all over each other’s bodies. 

You are both possessive and desperate. Abby’s hands massage your hips and trail up to grope your tits through the thin fabric of your tank top, her lips nibbling on your bottom one. Your pink acrylic nails are digging into her back, scratching it up so that anyone who sees it knows she belongs to you. 

“Fuckin’ brat,” Abby says against your lips before attacking your neck. You moan, tilting your head back for more and tugging at her blonde braid, nearly yanking it when she sinks her teeth into your soft skin. She groans, leaning up above you to grab your wrists and pin them to your sides. She looks down at you with red, freckled cheeks. “Tell me what you need, princess.” 

You try to buck your hips to show her, but she tuts, firmly pressing her hips down to keep you from moving. “With words, princess. Tell me what you want, or I’ll just bend you over my knee and have my way with your ass before I fuck you.” 

You swallow at the threat. Part of you wants it, but another is too impatient. “I want you to fuck me right now.” You don’t plead your words nor grow shy on her yet, but you typically never do. No, with Abby you grow incoherent for different reasons. The dumber you grow dumber the more the evokes desperation within you, not shyer. 

Abby smiles, a hint of pride within the expression. She flips you onto her lap, your legs on each side of her waist. You don’t hesitate to grind on her lap, trying to feel friction. Along with that, you suddenly feel something in her pants. You pause, and she scoffs playfully. “What? I know you, baby. I knew how this little visit was gonna end.” She simply says, guiding your hips to move against it, making you breathless. 

“W-Well, I wasn’t exactly thinking about that.” You reply back defensively, leaning down to bury your face in her neck. You purposely suck hickies all over the expanse of skin until she pries your mouth off of her like a kitten being held up by its scruff, dragging your face to hers. 

Abby kisses you to distract you from her hand dipping into the waistband of your pajama pants. When you suddenly feel two fingers teasing your clit through your panties, you jolt and let out a shaky moan into her mouth. Abby teases, rubbing circles over the slightly swollen bud. When she trails her fingers down just an inch, all she can feel is wetness. Your panties stick to your pussy, and Abby can only imagine the lewd imprint of your folds against the fabric. 

She pulls away from your lips, but not too far. “You want me to fuck you? Wanna ride my fingers, get yourself ready to be split open?” You eagerly nod against her forehead, but she only cups your pussy. “Words, princess. Say you want me to fuck you.” 

“I want you to fuck me, abs. Please.” You plead the words, hips moving against her hand to find friction. Abby is too impatient to tease you any longer, yanking your pajamas down along with your panties and sliding her fingers through your folds. You wantonly moan, stabilizing yourself by placing your palms flat on her chest so you can grind your clit against her fingers. 

Soon, you feel two fingers dip into your pussy, opening your hole up and prepping it for her cock with scissoring motions. You just helplessly take it, letting out short pants as she fucks you open. You could cum so quickly with just this, and she isn’t even trying to feel for your g-spot. 

“Who does this pussy belong to?” She asks demandingly. You gasp when she reaches down to give your clit a soft tug, rolling it between her fingers and relishing in the way you try to squirm away as if it’s too much. 

“It belongs, fuck!, it belongs to you, Abby. I’m so wet for you, abs..” You assure her, shamelessly desperate. Abby seems pleased by this answer, letting her fingers grow soaked with your juices that drip down her wrist until she flips you onto your back, making haste with unzipping her pants and taking out her cock, grasping it in her hand. You make a confused sound, reeling with her manhandling. 

“Belongs to me. Not Ellie, not some random bitch from a party, no. Just me.” She affirms this statement by letting the tip of the strap catch on your clit, pressing it upward teasingly. But her voice isn’t teasing–rather a dark, possessive tone she only uses when you have her riled up. 

Abby’s jealousy runs just as deeply as yours does, if not more. The only difference is time management. The when. When Abby isn’t in the most dominant mood and the both of you are simply making out, she will happily let you smother her skin in your lipstick stains, knowing you’re going through some possessive fit over her. She isn’t intending to go sing your name in the streets covered in red lipstick stains, but she doesn’t complain when you post pictures of the incident on your story for other people to understand that Abby is yours. 

Abby, however, doesn’t need to post the way your pussy wraps around the girth of her strap. She doesn’t tend to be as publicly explicit. But, when you rile her up, you receive what you ask for. You cannot count on your fingers the times that Abby has had you crying with the raw feeling of overstimulation because you pushed her so far with the bratty act, neither can you recall the instances of being denied orgasm after orgasm for even mentioning another woman’s name. 

So, you can’t be surprised when Abby’s girthy strap abruptly finds its way into your pussy, stretching you out, forcing more in inch by beautiful inch. You can’t be surprised by the way she forces your legs around her hips, that way she can feel connected and entangled to every inch of you. She wants you to feel her from the tips of your toes to the hairs on your head. 

Abby’s hips draw back, leaving just the artificial tip in you. Then she slams forward, burying herself to the hilt inside you. You cry out, but to no avail. 

“Bet Ellie wouldn’t fuck you like this. She couldn’t even make you cum once.” She spits, and the bitter tones in her words make your pussy wetter, easier for her to slide in and out of. She finds your clit with her fingers, harshly rubbing it but with a level of skill that leaves you already unable to take it despite not even cumming yet.

“S-So much, fuck!” You cry when you can feel her stroke your cushy insides, just where your sweet, vulnerable spot lay hidden. Her hands rest on both sides of your head, holding herself up. She starts fucking you at a relentless pace, slamming back and then into you to make your that gooey spot deep within you feel it. Nobody else gets to have you like this, and nobody gets fucked by Abby like you get to be.

“Ellie couldn’t handle you, not with the way you’re clenching around me.” Abby laughs, and she swears she can see the outline of her dick in your lower stomach when she glances down. She is in a trance watching the satisfying way the unnaturally colored dick simply gets swallowed up by your pussy. You have to glance down to see what all the fuss is about. 

Abby looks back up, leaning down to leave kisses on your collarbone. “None of those girls on instagram get fucked like this. Only mine.” 

"Abby, please. Need to cum for you, please..” You mumble in her ear, scratching up her back with your nails just to hear her breath hitch for you. Your words grow more incoherent, and you can only hope that she can understand you and give you what you're craving.

“Cum for me, princess. I wanna feel you make a mess on this couch.” Abby tells you, picking up the pace with her strokes. It only takes Abby’s possessive remarks of “mine” muttered repeatedly in your ear to get you to the finish line. You cum around the toy, walls pulsing rhythmically. 

“Fuckkk,” Abby curses when your orgasm triggers her down, and you can feel her cum dripping onto your own pussy through the harness. She buries herself as deeply inside of you as she can, and you just feel her grind into you, trying to feel more and more sensations on her clit. Abby rides out the orgasm until you feel her come back down to Earth, breathless and sweaty. Your legs squeeze around her hips, and she soon lays on top of you like a weighted blanket. 

The silence that follows the intense sex is peaceful, Abby’s weight comforting, and your hands roaming over her biceps and back in a soothing manner calming her down back to Earth. Both of you simply bask in the aftermath of the chaos, and now the old-timey show in the background is rather comforting, not as tense. 

“Next time I do something stupid that you don’t like, just tell me please.” Abby mumbles in your ear, tone softer than previously. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out, I promise.” You say, kissing her cheek. 

Abby shakes her head, nuzzling into your neck. “I don’t mind your brattiness. Just tell me forreal, though. Don’t ignore my calls.” 

You nod, squeezing her tightly. Don’t ignore calls, got it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have an attitude over said phone call..

[hivemuthur]

kinda smutty but basically viktor x reader kinda modern au where he has to go to an event later, but reader distracts him by bringing him to bed and making out. eventually leads to multiple hickeys on his neck (i just know this man’s skin would bruise easily) which then leads to rushed makeup haul to find something that matches him to cover up. i love love love love love love love love love love love love love your writing! it’s so good!

Hi Anon! I see we share a common obsession with Viktor's neck. You match my freak.

Cuteness Aggression

viktorxgn!reader mature! kissing, or rather making out, slight dry humping and dirty talk

author’s note: Sue makes a cameo (or rather is mentioned in this fic), because I wanted it to be as inclusive as possible, therefore I am not mentioning Reader's skin tone. Other than that, it's just lovebombing fluff. Also heeh, it has a tiny bit of playful wrestling, because I am an inconsistent twat. Viktor's scent for this fic is: Hyde by Hiram Green.

word count: 2,1K

—

“Why are you looking at me like this?”

Viktor’s voice snapped you out of the wanderings of your deranged mind. Oh, and did your mind wander. It snaked itself beneath the leg of his woollen trousers, hugging his tiny ass so nicely. Then up, up his sleeve to place an imaginary kiss on the vein in the crook of his elbow and lick his stomach right where the belt would inevitably leave a dent in the skin.

Then, your imaginary tongue travelled up, making a stop at every freckle, only to leave a nasty bite mark somewhere in the middle of his chest. And maybe on his neck as well. Which was now flexing proudly from the V-shaped collar of his sweater, the tiniest bit of white shirt peeking from underneath it. A dark brown coat on top, framing him into a model example of someone who just looks effortlessly good.

You were kneeling on the bed, ogling him shamelessly, Viktor’s eyes pensive on you as he tried to squeeze the verdict out of your agape mouth. “Well? My eyes are up here, I will remind you.”

“I, uh…” you mumbled stupidly, swallowing a lump in your throat. “Yes, that looks good.” Eyes still fixed on him, because you forgot how to blink.

“I feel like I should change into something less slutty if this is your reaction. We wouldn’t want people at the charity gala throwing themselves at me, would we?” He smirked, looking at his nails nonchalantly, and suddenly you realised your face was burning.

“God, sorry,” you chuckled awkwardly and hid your face in your palms. “I just haven’t seen you all dressed up in a while.”

“No, no need to be sorry, I am immensely enjoying this, if you couldn’t tell by now,” he said smugly, shaking his coat off and throwing it over a chair. “I would take massive advantage of it if Jayce wasn’t picking me up in half an hour.” He took a couple of steps forward and dropped his cane on the mattress beside you.

“Well, maybe you could take a little advantage then?” you asked playfully, rising on your knees and pulling him by the belt to sit on the bed next to you. Straddling his hips, you wrapped your arms around his neck and licked his cheek all the way up to his temple. “I can’t believe you are abandoning me, looking like this, to flex in front of some STEM bros.”

“Ah, I solemnly swear to atone upon my return.” A low, suggestive whisper rumbled against your skin as his hands cradling your ass sent a jolt up your spine, and you involuntarily sunk deeper into his lap, forcing a grunt out of him. Viktor shot you a scolding look and chuckled, “If you ruin my pants, I’m taking yours. And you wouldn’t want that.”

“You better pray I don’t ruin you and that you can feel your legs when I’m done with you,” you breathed out, placing a trail of slick kisses on the tendon of his neck, and Viktor cackled, the pitch of his laugh embarrassingly high.

Playfully, he pushed you away, his lips forming a comical pout. “You cannot crumple me! We’ve been picking those clothes for an hour, ah—” he gasped as your teeth caught his earlobe. A giggle pushed itself past his mouth, and his hands squeezed your thighs firmly. “That’s it,” he stated, shrugging you off of him, only to crawl on top of you clumsily.

He pinned your hands above your head, lifted your shirt with his nose and blew a raspberry on your stomach, making you squirm and kick your legs around. “Please! I surrender, ah!” You screamed as he tickled your tummy with his nose and tongue.

Viktor lifted himself and shot you a look to check if you did, in fact, surrender and regretted instantly as you wrapped your legs around him and trapped him in a tight squeeze, forcing him to let out a startled huff. He landed with his chest flush against yours, your noses bumping each other.

“I am ready to suffer the consequences of crumpling you, mister,” you whispered against his lips, when a concern crossed your thoughts at the sight of a frown on his forehead. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, only my pride,” he snorted, kissing your neck. “If I knew some nice pants and a sweater would make you go so feral, I’d dress up every day.” You were flashed an incredulous grin and granted freedom of your hands, which you immediately used to tangle your fingers into Viktor’s hair and shove your tongue into his mouth.

He moaned, at first surprised, then just welcoming, when his hands snaked around your body to squeeze your waist and cup your ass once more. He rolled both of you to the side, but you wouldn’t have it and pushed him further to trap him underneath you.

“It seems the more I can’t have you, the more I want you. Something to think about,” you smirked and ground your hips into his mercilessly. Viktor groaned, his hands hovering tentatively around your thighs before slapping your ass playfully.

“I told you how I feel about my pants getting ruined or me getting crumpled, but you seem to be completely deaf,” Viktor huffed, utterly bemused by the sudden rush of want in you, as you licked his neck, making all sorts of obscene smacking sounds.

You cupped his face, your fingers digging into the base of his skull as your tongue traced his upper lip and the seam of his mouth, coaxing him to open. A laugh got caught in his throat as your nose pressed against his and you inhaled him deeply, licking the roof of his mouth and sending a content moan straight to his stomach.

His hips bucked beneath you, making a smile bloom across your lips. You tugged at his hair to expose his neck and placed a trail of loving pecks all the way down to his collar bone. Viktor writhed against you, sending threats in your direction, his breathy tone making them sound entirely unserious. “You have no idea what I am going to do to you when I come back.”

“Oh, baby, are you not enjoying my love?” You cooed against his skin, blowing on a new love mark you sucked into his neck.

“I am enjoying it thoroughly,” he grunted, pressing his half-hard cock up to meet your core and you whined into the crook of his shoulder, careful not to drool on his beautiful sweater. “But I have something around twenty minutes before Jayce gets here, and you are making me look like a whore.”

“But you make such a beautiful whore, Viktor, I can’t help it,” you wheezed theatrically into his ear, drawing another giggle this evening. “Also, this will make it look like you really cared about coming to the gala.” Without putting much thought into what you had just said, you resumed your work on spattering Viktor’s neck with little marks of affection.

And he let you, because it felt too great to stop. The weight of your hips so sweet on his pelvis that he could probably get off on it if he let you grind on him for a little while longer. Your hands groping him greedily, your usual roles suddenly switched, as he was the one panting and writhing for his dear life, praying that his crotch wouldn’t be damp after all of this.

He let himself be pulled by the bite on his lower lip, let his shirt slip out of his pants as you explored his stomach and stuffed your greedy fingers under his belt, tickling his navel. He allowed you to palm him through his pants, even though it had earned you a bite on the neck of your own.

You leeched onto his skin, chuckling between the small nips at his lips, a singular web-like strand of drool connecting your mouths. When you finally lifted to gaze upon your creation, Viktor looked like a fallen angel—his hair a complete mess, face and ears a darker shade of pink, eyes molten, lids hooded, and mouth slightly parted in a soft smile. And his clothes, well, crumpled like a thin paper sheet.

He traced his fingers under your t-shirt, rubbing circles on each of your sides. Admiring the mark that had begun to bloom on your collarbone, a realisation hit him. He was going to be a complete hot mess, his neck most likely stained with bruises. He clasped a hand to his mouth and whispered in exaggerated concern, “How bad is the damage?”

You cocked your head from side to side, smiling innocently, and he rolled his eyes, your name falling from his lips in a playful scold. Shrugging you off of himself, he reached to the bedside for your mirror and nearly choked at the state of his skin—red, bloodshot marks covering his neck, a slight swelling around the spots you bit on harder.

“Lásko, you have outdone yourself,” he sighed, tracing his fingertips across each of the love confessions you sucked into his skin. “And what am I going to do now, hm?”

“A turtleneck?” You laughed, waggling your eyebrows at him. “Or a scarf?”

“Yes, let’s make it even more obvious. Other ideas, and please let them be good?”

“I can suck on the rest of you, so the colour matches everywhere, ow!” You winced at the pinch on your ass and batted Viktor’s hand away. “Alright! Alright, I think Sue left something behind after the last time, let me check if it matches you.” Honest capitulation could be heard in your voice, as you slid off the bed to search for Sue’s foundation in the bathroom—the only person you knew that could match Viktor in the ghastly skin tone club.

You grabbed it triumphantly from the drawer under the sink and threw it in Viktor’s direction, before grabbing your make-up bag and kneeling in front of him on the bed.

“Lift, please,” you said flatly, propping his chin up, momentarily fixated on the way his Adam’s apple bobbed beneath your fingers. You gave his throat an affectionate squeeze and murmured, “Bye, bye hickeys,” making Viktor chuckle.

“You will see them again in the evening,” he said warmly, placing his hands on your thighs.

“Oh, you bet your ass I will. I am going to scrub this makeup off you the minute you step through the door,” you muttered absently, your focus fully on pounding the fluid onto your masterpiece.

 “I think this is my best work yet,” you announced proudly, adding more and more product, as the stubborn redness refused to disappear under Sue’s delicate cosmetics.

You had to use baby powder to set it, since none of your humble makeup collection items seemed to match Viktor’s skin tone, making him smell like a newborn, who happened to like birch tar and bergamot cologne.

You patted his cheek affectionately and passed him the mirror so he could evaluate whether the troubleshooting had proven successful, adding in a flat, nasal tone, “We do not accept refunds.”

“Not bad,” he hummed, flexing his neck, which immediately made you weak in your knees.

“I hope you understand I will have to make you squirm for this later, yes?” he said matter-of-factly, slapping his palms flat on your thighs, his eyebrows lifted in expectation.

You nodded and kept nodding until Viktor smiled and your face twisted into a dumb grin. “That’s settled then,” he stated with one final firm pat on your legs and lifted himself off the bed. He grabbed his cane, coat, checked his phone and mumbled something about Jayce already waiting downstairs.

You walked up to him, pinching his ass and picking at his hair, your hands wandering as you tried to straighten his clothes and put his shirt back in place. Before leaving, he pulled you into a tight hug and whispered against your lips, “Thank you. I’m much less nervous than I was half an hour ago.”

“Hmm, no worries,” you murmured between soft kisses placed on his beauty marks. “I am so very proud of you; I hope you know this.”

“Oh yes, after today I am convinced that if you could, you would wear my skin as a pelt,” he chuckled against your neck, his breath fanning your skin with a warm breeze. “I would have to make sure it’s covered with hickeys before that,” you said, adjusting his collar. “And I would never, ever take it off.”

[princessbrunette]

when did you know you loved me? pt.4/4 ♡

it was rare bunny!reader and rafe got a day off like this. one where the kook princess’s boyfriend wasn’t running off on business, dragging her along or leaving her to run her own personal errands — like getting her nails done or shopping. today, the two of them relaxed on rafe’s boat in the hazy june sunshine. bunny stares off over the water, pondering..

you’re snapped from your thoughts when rafe arrives at your side, giving your ass a little swat and grab the way he always did as you looked over the ledge across the water.

“you good, kid?” he enquires casually as his hand slides up your back to grasp your shoulder, hooking his sunglasses back into his shirt.

“mhm, just thinking.” you muse, leaning into his side a little. you always went a bit brainless around rafe — it was second nature. he did the thinking, it was his job as a provider — well, that’s what he’d tell you anyway, and he’d drilled it into your head enough times for you to remember it.

“m’yeah? thinking about what?” he converses. he’d always get worried when you looked a little too pensive. rafe was an overthinker like that, the nagging voice in the back of his head telling him not to let you think too hard, because you’d uncover all his flaws and leave him. though you knew that could never be the case, rafe had some unpacked abandonment issues that often sat at the surface.

“us.” you hum simply, and his hand slides off your shoulder.

“well what — what are… why?” he struggles his word his concern, a frown forming between his brows.

“jus’ that i love you a lot, and i was thinking about how much i love you.” you shrug, not taking in the edge in his concerned tone. he relaxes a little, nodding though you weren’t looking his way as he draws in a long breath.

“right, yeah… yeah.” he plays it cool, scratching at his cheek before stepping away in the direction of the mini bar, deciding he needed a drink to take the edge off. “well, daddy loves you too, yeah?”

the casual assurance in his tone makes you bite your lip, gaze snapping over to him as he wanders away — and you speak once more, only wanting to prolong the time spent by his side.

“when did you know that you loved me rafey?” it’s a demure request, spoken hopefully through pouty lips and batting lash extensions. he spins around, blinking at you a few times before shrugging his shoulder.

“look, uh — i don’t know. i just did, alright?” he turns his mouth down like he hadn’t given it any thought and your face falls. you forget rafe wasn’t like you. he was a man of logic. fact over feelings (thats what he’d tell people, anyway.) he didn’t have time to ponder such things.

“oh.” you whisper, nodding your head. it wasn’t a big deal. you just wished he would gush over you the way you did him sometimes. he licks his lips, hesitance in his body language when he turns away once more this time, wishing he never saw that disappointment on your face at the way he brushed you off. he was still trying to get used to the whole being open with your feelings thing. his father hadn’t exactly lead by great example.

he cracks open a beer, and five minutes later he’s lounging on the white couch out on the deck, an arm strewn along the back of the seat and the other holding the bottle, reaching out towards you to gesture you over to him.

“come sit with me, dunno why you’re so far away.” he welcomes you, and you quietly pad over in your pink bikini, never once shying away from the unabashed way he watches your body move towards him. “mm. looking good.” he comments quietly before you’re climbing onto the couch and snuggling up to his side. there was no ‘thanks daddy’ or glossy kisses being pressed into him like usual, you were pensive, distant, thoughtful. he knew he’d brushed you off and you were trying so hard to seem like it hadn’t phased you, bless your little bunny heart. after a sigh, the kook begins to speak.

“it was after the whole thing with me getting arrested. you know the… the thing with the sheriff.” he relays, staring ahead over at the water even when you turned your head to gaze at him, blinking slowly in relaxed confusion as to what he was talking about.

“i…i wanted people to respect me, you know? like- like i had proven that i was willing to do anything to protect the people i care about. anything. enough to get me sent to fuckin’ jail, right?” he rambles, before shaking his head with his tongue in his cheek, thinking. you stay quiet, curious as to where this was going. you wanted to give him space to open up.

“but like…ahh, i don’t know. when i got out, people…people didn’t wanna hang with me anymore. i used to be that guy, right like — like everyone wanted to talk to the rafe cameron but after i got bailed out i… people were scared of me. thought i was some… violent, unhinged creature like… like i was some killer.” he squints, shaking his head in disagreement.

a few moments pass as he gathers his thoughts, before he speaks once more, this time glancing at you.

“so a little while after that i was down at the club, you know just… just tryna socialise again, blow off some steam. shit, i even told everyone that beers were on me, you know? free for everyone at the club. went back to go get my golf club, came back n’everyone had left. clearly they still saw me as some kinda monster.”

whilst you was unclear on why he was telling the story, you remembered clearly this time how hard it was for rafe to drag himself back up. he wouldn’t talk about how hard things were, and sure — eventually things had blown over and he was the life of every party once more, but you remembered the shift in atmosphere clearly. it was strange.

“uh…” he clears his throat. “so yeah i uh, i come back and you’re there, right? you’re just sat there by your self at the table… and shit you… you just looked so happy to see me,” he chuckles, shaking his head fondly at the memory. “like, i had left for two damn minutes and you were still happy to see me. you didn’t even — even care that everyone else had left… and that’s real ride or die shit, okay like — someone… someone who’s not gonna just up and leave you when shit gets tough like sarah did with my dad. nah, nah you stuck around. s’when i knew i wanted to put a fuckin’ rock on that little finger.” he takes your hand suddenly, holding it between the two of you like he’s envisioning the ring on your second to last finger, taking a moment to indulge in the fantasy.

you’re grinning ear to ear, understanding the significance of the story now as you flutter your eyelashes.

“rafey…” you coo softly and he shrugs, his wall fighting to come back up.

“yeah, well. you wanted your story, there’s your story.” he brushes it off casually, but even his lips curl up a little into a fulfilled smirk, catching your gaze with an unspoken awe.

“guess what, i loved you the second i saw you so i win.” you giggle and he rolls his eyes, pulling you into his chest.

“yeah? shit i didn’t know it was a competition.” he banters lightheartedly over your giggles, his cold heart thawing at the sound.

[moonstruckme]

hi mae, how you've been? if your request are open could i make one? if they're not, please ignore this ^^

could you write remus with (gn) reader that struggles with english? (as a language fjdndnd). for example, they could be an exchange student and finds difficult to find the words to communicate, but can completely understand a whole conversation, like its just hard for them to express themselves? idk if you get what i mean, sorry for the nonsense 😭😭😭

you write beautifully, i can't wait to read the next thawing out chapter!!!!! xoxoxo

Thank for requesting angel <3

cw: hints of maybe some social anxiety (?) around language learning

Remus Lupin x gn!reader ♡ 1k words

In group settings, you’ve become an unintentional wallflower. The conversations among this group, specifically, are too rapid-fire for your tentative tongue to keep up with, so you find yourself tracking it and letting your own thoughts pass unvoiced. At least at Sirius’ Christmas party, you’re not the only wallflower in the mix. 

Remus acts much like you, sometimes. He sits back, listens, smiles to himself at his friends’ antics. Sometimes James or Sirius will prompt him with a question, like they’re used to having to drag him into their two-man show, but for the most part he seems content to enjoy being around everyone in quietude. Until, at least, he leans over to speak to you. 

“You alright?” he asks in a low voice, underneath the story James is telling about Christmas shopping with his mum. 

You blink, surprised. “Yes.” 

“You seem a bit quiet.” Remus looks curious, but he doesn’t push. There’s a tiny fluttering in your stomach at being noticed. You’ve talked with Remus on a couple of occasions—and it’s true, you did have more to say then than you do now, in this bantery group—but you wouldn’t have expected him to note the change. “How’s your drink?” 

He’s looking at your cup, nearly full despite the hour you’ve been nursing it. 

“It’s…” You don’t know the polite way to say what you want to say. Maybe there is none. 

Remus smiles. “You aren’t in love with it, then?” 

You think you might go still, just the phrase in love sending heat to your cheeks. “It’s not very bad,” you try to laugh. “It’s…what’s the word…heavy?”

His brows furrow for a second, but then he realizes. “Oh, is it very strong?” 

You nod, relieved. “Yes.” 

He laughs. “Well, that’s what happens when Sirius makes them. Sorry, we ought to have warned you.” He glances over his shoulder at his friend, as though checking whether he’s been overheard; you don’t get the impression he would care much if he had. When his eyes return to you, you have the impression of staring into a fireplace; a steady, comforting warmth. “Come with me,” he says. 

Remus leads you to the kitchen. To the scene of the crime, where your first drink was concocted. Sirius is nothing if not well prepared; the counter is stocked with rows of alcohol and mixers, plus canned drinks and non-alcoholic options. Remus finds you a new cup. 

“What do you like?” 

You can see a bottle of what you want on the counter, but the name eludes you. You’re not close enough to try and read the label. “Anything.” 

Remus’ eyebrow twitches. “Really, anything?” He looks at you. It feels like being peeled like a tangerine, like he’s somehow seeing your squishy insides. “You don’t have any preference?”

You gnaw the inside of your cheek. “I, uh…” You reach past him, picking up the bottle. “This, please. Sorry, I don’t have the name…” 

“That’s alright,” Remus says easily. He gives you a gentle smile as he takes the bottle from you, and your heart does something awful behind your ribs. “You don’t need to know it. Whatever works, right?” 

“Right,” you echo embarrassedly. 

He asks you to pick a mixer, and when you point again starts to pour. “So,” he says, “is there a reason you’re not talking to us?” 

You blink at him. “What?” 

“You’ve just been keeping more to yourself tonight.” There’s a hint of something you can’t identify in Remus’ tone, but you can’t seek clues in his face when he’s looking down at your drink. “Is it something we did?” 

“No. I’m not…no.” You shake your head fervently. “I like you.” You take Remus’ wrist, and he looks up, surprised. “I like you.” 

“Hey, it’s okay.” His voice softens at the distress in your expression. “I was only joking, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” 

Relief seeps into you. You feel your posture ease, your face clearing, but Remus only melts further. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He wraps an arm around your shoulders, drawing you into a hug. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I didn’t really think you were angry with us.” Your arms come around him too, on instinct, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s just that you’ve been so quiet and I wanted to ask why, but I was only teasing.”

“It’s okay.” You laugh a little, giddy on physical contact. “It’s not you.” 

Remus hums, still apologetic. “What’s going on, then?”

“Nothing’s going on.” You search the far corners of your mind, reaching for the words. “I’m quiet because…because I’m slow. It’s more difficult with many people.” 

Remus pulls back a bit, frowning. “You’re not slow, sweetheart.” 

“My English is slow,” you clarify.

“That’s…no.” He shakes his head. “I’m sure it does take longer to find the right words, but you don’t have to stay quiet because of that. We can wait.” 

“It’s okay,” you try to explain. “Sometimes, people need to talk fast, but, for me…it takes time.” 

“That’s fine,” says Remus. “We get it. Or, actually, we don’t, which is probably the more important part. You speak more than one language. That’s not something any of the rest of us can say—well, except Sirius, but his parents were twats, and he’s more of a twat for it, honestly.” His eyes widen a fraction. “Not that knowing more than one language makes you a twat—Sirius is, but you aren’t. I’m not trying to call you a twat.” 

You shake your head, smiling. 

“I’m trying,” Remus laughs, “to say that you’re very smart, much smarter than any of us in there who only grew up speaking English and haven’t aspired to anything more since. So if you need to speak a bit slower to get your point across, that’s perfectly alright. Is that…did that come across right?” 

“Yes,” you laugh, warmth in your cheeks. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me.” Remus gives you another hug, briefer. “Just don’t be quiet, yeah? How’s this?” 

You take a tentative sip of your drink, trying to wrangle your smile. “It’s good,” you assure him. 

“Good. Let’s go.” He starts leading the way back to the party. “You had something to say when Lily was talking about her botched muffins last week, I could see it on your face. I want to hear all about it.”

[magics-neptunes-things]

Struck By Love

Hi guys!

I received a lot of really nice comments about my first fic with Steph and some of you wanted a second part of this story, so here it is :)

Please enjoy ♥

And Happy New Year!

TW : Injury

Chapter Before

You probably never have been so happy in your life until now. After Emily and Kat’s wedding, you came back to London to begin your life again. It was nice to see your family back in Australia, but you must admit that you were eager to come back home. Like this you will be able to see Steph again, because the girl went back to her family in Melbourne to finish her trip here.

You didn’t take your ticket the same day as Steph, you were on the plane with Caitlin, Katie and Kyra instead. Hayley is already back in London at this time. Steph is too, but you decided that she won’t come to greet you. As you said it will have her Arsenal teammates, so it was better that way.

In January, you took her to several dates in London, enjoying being able to have quality time with her. You went to restaurants, for some walks with Calvin and you even went ice skating together.

You love having time with her, getting to know her better. You have been very honest with her about the depth and the reality of your feelings for her since the beginning, and she doesn’t seem scared about it. Which is a real relief, even if you don’t expect anything from her at any time.

You are happy to just wait for her and you let her take the lead about what she’s ready to do. The dynamic works great like this and you are secretly very happy to see that you weren’t the only one eager to have moments together. When you don’t propose to see her for two days in a row, Steph asks you if you are free the same day.

You helped her to find a flat and she finally has found something with a garden for Calvin and not far from Arsenal’s training centre. It’s closer to your flat than where she was leaving before, too.

On the fifth date, you had this conversation about knowing what the other wants about your relationship and even if no one asked the other to be her girlfriend formally, you were both clear about the fact that you will be exclusive. It was obvious for you, but Steph needed reassurance, and you were happy to give it to her.

Like if you would be able to look at someone else anyway.

There are times where you can’t see each other for almost four days because of your schedule and the games, and it’s always a little hard when it is happening. It’s the case today.

You left for Manchester on Friday to play Saturday against United and Steph left with Arsenal on Saturday to play against Brighton & Hove Albion on Sunday. You had your day off on Sunday, so you were able to watch Steph’s game, but you haven’t seen her for real since Thursday and it’s way too long for your liking.

It seems that is the case for Steph too, the girl is literally rushing to get her things in her bag and be able to leave the training centre. She almost doesn’t take the time to answer Kyra’s teasing while putting on her shoes and her coat.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Katie arches an eyebrow, looking at Steph running around from her bench.

“I have a thousand things to do at home”

Steph answers casually and her answer seems to catch Beth’s attention. It is too casual to be real in the blonde’s opinion. But she doesn’t have the time to say something because soon Steph isn’t here anymore.

“What is she up to?” Kyra frowns at Beth.

“Dunno. That was weird”

Both look at each other before grinning and saying at the same time.

“We need to find out what is happening.”

********

You were far from this, finally parking your car in Steph’s street. You stopped in a local pizzeria to grab some pizza for the night, in a place you know that Steph likes. You very quickly learned her favourite things to eat or her command at Starbucks for example.

You don’t have to wait very long for Steph to open the door after you knock on it, it was only thirty seconds wait.

“Hello-ooo” you say before being grabbed by the collar of your jacket and taken inside.

Right after you feel Steph’s lips against yours and you put the pizza somewhere to be able to kiss her back easier. Your smile kind of broke the kiss but Steph doesn’t seem to mind. You kiss her cheek and her neck before taking a discreet but big breath of her perfume.

“I missed you” she whispers, and you hug her harder against you.

“Missed you too”

You still can’t believe that this situation is really happening. You never thought that you will be able to have this kind of relationship with Steph one day. You are scared to lose it now to be honest, but you try to concentrate on the present.

Steph finally drags you to her living room, where you just cuddle while eating your pizzas and looking at a film. Steph already took Calvin for his walk today and he’s peacefully asleep on his dog bed in the corner of the living room.

You aren’t really looking at the movie to be honest. You asked her a lot of questions to know how her four days really went. You wrote her messages, and you had her on the phone twice, but with her teammates around, it’s never really easy.

You are still secret for now, wanting to have this secret only between you two. You like it that way, finding Steph at the end of the day and being in your little bubble of love.

“That plaid is the best purchase I have ever made” Steph comments at some point.

You laugh while looking at the big and fluffy plaid who is big enough to easily cover both of you. It’s comfy and hot too. And it has the advantage of having Steph’s smell.

“I like it too” you smile, snuggling against her.

The pizza boxes are abandoned on the table with some pizza crusts inside. Like every time you command at this place, it was a great pizza. You haven’t eaten everything though, so if you are hungry during the night you will have something to eat.

“How are your hands still so cold?”

You smirk when Steph wiggle to get away from you, passing now both of your hands under her shirt.

“Babe stop” she giggles.

But you don’t stop, amused by her reaction. When your hands are hot enough against her skin, you kiss her, happily taking advantage of your position. She kisses you back and you kind of lose any notion of anything when she passes her arms around your neck to take you against her.

You are still kissing several minutes after, when Steph’s door is opened by a non-really discreet Kyra. But between the noise of the TV and what you are doing, it would be almost impossible to hear anything. Thank god, no one decided to burgle Steph’s house tonight.

Steph is now lying on you, still under the plaid, but during your making out session your hands never left her body. You have now one of them on her bum, while the other is in her hair. Steph’s hands are softly scratching your abs, a gesture that makes you half-crazy.

“Oh my god what the hell is happening here?!”

Kyra’s scream makes both of you jump and Steph avoids falling off the couch only thanks to your excellent reflexes. Seeing your reactions, Calvin jumps from his bed to start to bark at Kyra.

“No one ever taught you the use of a door?” Steph asks after having calmed Calvin.

“You weren’t answering! And I used the key you gave me” Kyra answers, pointing an accusing finger at Steph.

Steph groans and you silently nod somewhere in your head to take this key away from Kyra as soon as possible.

“What is happening between you two? I thought you were straight!” Kyra asks Steph, frowning at you.

You look at each other, not really knowing what to answer. You are both standing now in front of the couch where you were very intimate several seconds ago.

“Being engaged to a man doesn’t make me straight. And it’s none of your business.” Steph rolls her eyes at her.

The big sister versus little sister energy makes you smile, but you don’t show it too much, letting cowardly Steph deal with her pest.  

“I just saw you with your tongue in her mouth, it’s totally my business now”

Little sister energy.

When you see that Steph is looking at you for some help, you don’t hesitate to stand at her high though, putting a hand on her back. You feel the nerves getting out of her body a little bit under your touch.

“Was it why you were in such a hurry earlier?” Kyra asks again, softer this time.

“Yes” Steph sighs “We have this… things going on since December and even if I haven’t talked about it to anyone it makes me really happy. I just wanted to keep it for us for now”

Steph throws a quick look at you when she uses the word “things”, and you answer her with a soft smile. Like you said before, you never put a real label on your relationship.

“Are you serious about it?”

It’s a little passive-aggressive now and the question is directed towards you. You arch an eyebrow, not really used to have to face an angry Kyra with arms crossed on her chest.

“I am” you answer calmly.

“Good. Because I let an asshole coming in her life once, I won’t let another one doing the same thing”

“God Kyra, shut up”

A pillow flows right in Kyra’s face. Steph seems to be really uncomfortable about Kyra’s statement, but you find it cute instead. And you are glad to see that Steph has friends like Kyra in her life.

“Will I have shared custody?” you joke to Steph, looking in Kyra’s direction.

“She’s Mini’s kid, not mine”

Later that evening, after having kicked Kyra out and making her swear not to say anything to anyone, you find yourself with Steph in her bed. You are scrolling on your phone and texting some members of your family in Australia while Steph is lying on your chest.

You are playing with her hair too. You are very comfortable like this and you could stay here until the end of the world. Steph seems lost in her thoughts, unless she’s falling asleep. But you don’t interrupt her, knowing that she will talk to you if she needs to share anything.

It’s only when she turns her head to look at you that you put your phone on the bed, your other hand still in her hair.

“Is everything alright?” you ask softly.

She hums for only an answer, before going up on your body to put her head on your shoulder and not on your chest. You let her, passing your hand around her waist and kissing her head.

“I missed you”

Like this afternoon you feel your heart miss a beat and you love the warm feeling her words provide in you.

“I missed you too Stephy” you smile at her. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing really, just that I hope Kyra will know how to shut her mouth”

“I’m sure she will”

You have a good feeling about it, Kyra might be a little pest when she wants it, but she’s very protective about the people she loves. And you know that even if you aren’t close to her like Steph or Mini, she loves Steph. And she will do what is needed for Steph’s good.

You kiss Steph’s hair again and when she looks up you put a tender kiss on her lips. You both are pretty tired after your weekend so you quickly both fall asleep after that.

********

In late February, you are back with the Matildas for the Shebelieves Cup. You made the journey with Steph of course, but also Kyra, Caitlin, Hayley and all the girls playing in England. You are a little sad to be seated next to Charli and not Steph, who is next to Mini.

You would probably have a better sleep if you were able to put your head on Steph’s shoulder, but the travel passed anyway. You are not with Steph either in your hotel rooms, this time sharing the room with Alanna. Steph is almost on the other side of the floor every time which practically prevents you from sneaking into her room at some point.

So you are a little bit moody this morning at breakfast, between the jet lag and the fact that you haven’t slept very well because Alanna is snoring like a damn combine harvester.

You are under your hood while eating your mountain of cereals alone, until Mini, Harper and Kyra come to sit with you.

“Hello sunshine. Mind if we sit here?” Kyra smirks.

You groan for any answer, making the girl giggle. You then put your eyes on Harper, who seems sulking too.

“Are you grumpy too because they don’t have any Froot Loops and only those disgusting Kellog’s?” Harper asks you, eyebrows frowned.

“Sure am Buddy” you answer. “And because no one told me that I will be sleeping with a tractor”

“Sorry, I thought that Lani’s snores were known by anyone” Caitlin says from the table next to yours.

Your other teammates are coming to have breakfast little by little around you now.

“What is known by anyone?” Steph asks casually, sitting in front of Caitlin.

Your apparition makes a funny thing in your stomach and you wonder quickly until when those butterflies will stay.

“That Y/N slept with Lani” Harper answers with all her innocence, making you choke on your cereal, Steph spilling her coffee and Kyra dying laughing. “But Lani did it like a tractor”

“Harper, you can’t phrase things like that” a laughing Mini intervenes.

“God” you mumble, holding your forehead.

You throw a tentative glance towards Steph, above Kyra’s head who is always laughing like crazy. She receives a slap behind her head by Caitlin, distracting everyone’s attention while you and Steph exchange a glance.

She doesn’t seem disturbed by what just happened, but on the other hand you never slept with Alanna. She even has an amused smile on her face.

That moment is quickly known by all the team of course, and it makes Alanna laugh too. You have to admit that it’s pretty funny and now that you know that Steph hasn’t taken anything badly, it’s easier to laugh about it.

You are more concentrated on not looking at Steph all day, though. Not for the same reasons as before. Before it was not to be caught by Steph herself. Now it’s to avoid being discovered by someone. You find it even harder now though, because you have the right to do it.

You don’t know if Steph’s smile will stay on her face all day, however, because all the team seems to take the joke really by heart. You received some comments about it all day, from your teammates but from people on the staff too. It even went viral on social media.

Alanna doesn’t seem to mind though, given the way she takes you by your shoulders to drag you back into your room before dinner.

“Come on Casanova, show me again some moves you got”

You roll your eyes but follow her anyway, taken away from any idea of sneaking out somewhere in the city with Steph. You haven’t been able to talk to her all day long and she doesn’t know you wanted to do that, but you still miss that plan.

Of course, when you are in the room you share with Alanna, she goes to her bed while you do the same. On yours. If it needs to be said, you never had any interest in the blonde, even if you like her very much. As a friend.

You always have a crossword book with you and that is with what you were occupying yourself when you feel your phone vibrating on your nightstand, where you put it to charge.

From Pudding 💞 Having fun?

You roll your eyes and disconnect your phone from the cable of your charging. You then sit cross-legged on your bed, your book forgotten.

From You No 🥺 I miss you What are you doing?

From Pudding 💞 Nothing much. Just watching Kyra and Charli misbehave with Harper

From You If I manage to escape my room, would you like to go for a walk? We have time to do it until dinner

From Pudding 💞 I’d love to 😌

You smile and you lurk towards Alanna to know what excuse you could use to get out of the room without being suspect.

“I’m going to take something to drink, do you want something?”

“Mh? No, thanks” Alanna mumbles back without looking at you.

From You I’m coming. Find me in front of the hotel?

You don’t wait for Steph’s answer before going up, putting your shoes and your hoodie back and going out of the room. You don’t see anyone when you reach the entrance of the hotel, or at least anyone from the Australian team.

Steph is already waiting for you, hidden in the corner of the building and you hurry your path to meet her.

Your first move is to go for a hug, but Steph stops you with a hand on your stomach.

“Someone still can see us here” she explains to you with a soft smile.

You nod and follow her steps, putting your hands in the pocket of your hoodie instead. Being next to her like this without being able to touch her is torturous for you. And you are together for only two months, you wonder how a couple can hide their relationship for years.

“How are you?” you ask her after several meters.

“Fine. It’s strange to be with you all day without being able to really be with you, you know?”

“Yeah. I feel the same”

You bite your lip softly, wondering how to approach the teasing you have to endure all day. You don’t know how she feels about it and you don’t want to assume anything. But it’s finally Steph who talks again first.

“But Kyra made me realise that not talking to you at all might be suspect for the others too. I mean we were friends before and we were quite close to each other, you know?”

You nod slowly at that. It was true, you went for example in the vineyard with her before your first kiss at Emily’s wedding.

“She’s right” you smile, relieved to realise that you are finally authorized to spend some time with her. “It’s weird that this advice comes from Kyra though”

Steph smirks and, now that you are away from the hotel, grabs your arm with hers. You let her do it, quickly kissing her temple.

“She might have teased me a little bit” Steph admits after some time.

“About us?”

“Yes, and that rumour about you and Alanna. And the fact that you seemed moody all morning too”

“I was, I really haven’t slept enough” you shrug before frowning. “But I’m sorry about the teasing”

“It’s okay” Steph smiles at you. “I know it’s not the truth”

You have to admit that Steph is way more chill than you are. Or maybe less jealous? Maybe both, because you totally remember about you being jealous when she was dancing and laughing with Mackenzie at Emily’s wedding for example.

You stay silent, a little bit ashamed about it. But your silence seems to tease Steph’s curiosity.

“It’s not true, right?”

“Oh, yes. Of course it isn’t” you hasten to confirm.

You free your arm to pass it around Steph’s waist, holding her against you. You were still walking, a little bit randomly to be honest. You haven’t really discovered the horizons; you had to travel a lot in the USA for the Cup, and you would rather be peacefully in your room than walking around.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

You turn your head towards the Café Steph is looking at and nod. You’re not a big fan of coffee to be honest, but you know that Steph is. You follow her inside, letting her pass her command first before asking for a tea yourself.

“How do you feel about tomorrow?” you ask the other Aussie when you are seated.

“Concentrated. We need to be if you want to win”

“I wasn’t asking my Captain” you smirk above your tea. “I was asking you”

Just like she does sometimes, she looks at you with a way softer look than usual, and a cute smile, and it makes you melt. So much that you have to be really concentrated to follow the next part of the conversation.

The next day, you are playing against Colombia and when you enter the stadium, you feel pretty confident. Not because you are sure that you will win, but because you know that the team will do as much as possible to win the game. You are starting, positioned just behind Caitlin Foord in the middle of the pitch. It makes you stand in the middle of the players but you still manage to have a good view of your whatever Steph is.

You managed to go back to the hotel without no one asking you any questions yesterday, Alanna easily believing your story about being asked by Kyra for a random Uno game.

The first part of the game went great, to be honest. Colombia is a tough opponent, but you are winning 3-1, thanks to two goals from Caitlin and a really well managed free kick by Steph. You even managed to have an assist for one of the goals.

Around the seventy-minute Steph got subbed, just like Caitlin for Michelle Heyman. Your teammate from Tottenham, Hayley, is still on the pitch, just like Kyra.

In the 76 minutes, Colombia managed to score their second goal making 3-2 and you knew from that moment that they will push as much as possible to score a third one. Mackenzie is able to make some great stops and at the 82 Hayley almost scores, the ball hitting the corner of the post before going right in the stands.

At the 84, Mackenzie stops a ball from a corner and throws it quickly in the front, where you are waiting with Michelle. The blonde catches the ball and you follow her, facing two Colombians. You easily catch the pass Michelle offers you and run towards the goalkeeper, not expecting a single second a tackle coming from behind.

That is what happens though, your ankle painfully trapped between two legs, making you fall on the ground. It hurts and between the pain and how hard you fall on the ground, you have trouble breathing completely again.

You don’t hear the chaos above you, Ellie and Mini screaming at your opponent, the red card she takes or even the referee trying to calm everyone down. You just try to breathe, focusing your attention on your throbbing ankle and the design of Kyra’s boots, protectively crouch somewhere near your head.

“Hey it’s okay, you're okay” she says to you.

“She’s bleeding, we have to take her shoe and sock off”

You don’t recognize which one of the paramedics is talking, but you groan in protest when they grab your ankle. You hear the referee asking them to take you outside the pitch and some of your teammates protesting something, but you don’t really care. You didn’t have to deal with a lot of injuries in your life, but this one really hurts. It scares you, to be honest.

You hear the applause of the crowd when you are taken inside the stadium on the stretcher, but you don’t really react, hiding your face in both of your arms.

It’s way quieter when you are inside the infirmary, where a nurse gives you something for the pain. You thank her quietly, drinking the fresh water she gives you soon after with appreciation.

“We have to put some stitches on before going to hospital for a scan. Given how she takes you down, you might have something broken”

“Great” you sigh, looking at the ceiling.

Your mind goes to Steph. You would like to have her with you, but she’s the captain and has other duties. You are only friends for the others and if one of them should come with you, it would be more logical for Hayley to come with you.

But you are happily surprised to see that it’s in fact Steph who comes inside the room almost twenty minutes later, while you are still waiting for the stitches. She looks worried, but you feel your body relax as soon as she’s here.

“How are you feeling?” she asks, frowning.

“Better. The nurse gave me some morphine. But I have to go to the hospital to make a scan”

She sighs and strokes your cheek tenderly, before the door of the room opens again, making her retract her hand like if your cheek was on fire.

You look at the nurse when she comes inside, followed by a man you haven’t seen before.

“Y/N if you are ready, we are too”

She nods towards the needles and compresses in the trail she just put on a table next to you, and you can’t help but make a grimace. You are totally not ready for it. You hate needles.

“It’s going to be okay” she says, putting her hand on your arm in a comforting gesture. “Maybe it’s better if you leave?”

She turns towards Steph who is still standing in the room and you put your eyes on her too, just in time to see her frowning gaze looking at the nurse’s gesture.

“Oh. Uh, sure. I just wanted to give Y/N her things”

She puts the bag she was holding until now on a chair and turns her heels to leave, but you don’t want her to. So, you call her, almost shyly.

“Can you stay with me and maybe hold my hand? Please?”

“Of course”

She doesn’t hesitate a single second before coming back near you, sitting on a second chair and grabbing your hand.

“Thanks” you breathe. “I hate needles”

“I didn’t know”

She tilts her head curiously towards you, and you shrug. It’s not really something you talk about during your first dates usually, until you are dating a nurse maybe. You look at the doctor who is preparing his things, totally ignoring you three. You are nervous, so much that Steph can feel the tension in your body.

“Look at me. Just concentrate yourself on me”

You take a deep breath and oblige, your eyes easily falling on her. She hasn’t taken a shower after the game; she’s still wearing her kit under her jacket. She still has her bun, and she looks effortlessly pretty, even after a game like this. If you were alone, you would have said to her how beautiful she is.

It seems that she understands really easily what you are thinking about though, because you see her cheeks becoming a little more red. It makes you smile and want to kiss her. It’s frustrating, but at least like this you kind of forget what is happening near your ankle.

“Finish” the doctor says before standing up. “Ellen here will come with you to the hospital, so you have a real follow-up. And I think one of the members of the Australian team will come too”

You don’t see Steph frowning at that. You nod looking at the doctor leaving the room and the nurse following to get everything needed.

“I’ll go take a shower and I’ll come to the hospital as soon as possible, okay?” Steph says softly.

You nod again and sigh, letting your head go against the pillow of the bed. You watch Steph when she stands to kiss you, making you smile.

“Thank you for coming”

“Of course” she smiles and kisses you one more time.

She gets up just in time, the nurse coming back with all she needs. She makes sure that you have everything you need before taking you to the ambulance for the hospital. You are already on crutches, and you had hoped not to have to take the ambulance, but it seems like it’s how things are done here.

A little bit dramatic in your opinion.

Ellen and Kate, your team nurse, talked your ears off during the journey to the hospital and are still doing it when you arrive in your assigned room. The team asked for one for you to be able to take a shower and you are really grateful for it.

“Do you need help?” Ellen asks.

“Uh. No, thank you” you mumble, feeling your cheeks getting a little red.

“Look at you, Casanova” Kate giggles. “Alanna wasn’t enough, you need someone else already?”

“Oh god” you sigh.

“Is Alanna your girlfriend?”

“No” you roll your eyes.

You let Kate explain the story behind it, ignoring the different laughs coming from it while texting your parents and the Matildas’ WhatsApp group. Then you write to Steph too.

From You Are you soon here? The Nurse proposed her help for my shower

From Pudding 💞 That is not funny

You don’t have any other answer from her, and you sigh softly before putting your phone on your bed. Time to shower. You take the fresh underwear that Steph packs you with a fresh shirt and shorts too. You are glad to avoid the shirt from the hospital though.

“If Alanna isn’t your girlfriend, you still can take my help” Ellen adds, apparently more seriously.

You hesitate a little about what to answer at that. She seems serious about her help, but still teasing-flirting a little bit too.

“I still have a girlfriend” you finally answer.

You don’t know if Steph will be happy with that, like you said you never put a label on your relationship. But at least Ellen will understand that you are not interested.

“Do you?” Kate asks you with a big surprise.

“Yes” you smirk. “But it’s very fresh and you are under professional secrecy so you can’t say anything to anyone”

“You have a girlfriend, and you make jokes about sleeping with someone else?” Ellen asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I… I’m not the one who started it” you try to defend yourself.

“She’s right” Kate has your back “The situation has somewhat escaped her”

Ellen hums, apparently not totally convinced about your answers, but you decide not to give too much importance. First because you have to take this shower before they come to take you for the scan. And second because you will probably not see her again and that you don’t really care about what she might think.

After the shower, you went for your scan with Kate, who walks you happily around the hospital in a wheelchair.

And when you are back in your room, you are happy to see Kyra and Steph waiting for you, sitting next to Ellen. Their hair are still wet from their shower.

“How are you feeling?” Steph asks.

“I’m okay” you shrug, passing from the wheelchair to the bed. “How was the end of the game?”

You already asked this to Kate when you left for the hospital, but you want to have your teammates’ opinion. The good news is that Australia won, even if it was a close one.

“I have to go” Ellen says after Kyra’s explanation. “Will you be okay there?”

“Yeah thanks” you smile politely at her.

“It was nice meeting you” Ellen squeezes your arm affectionately.

Your eyes cross Steph’s when she leaves the room, before looking at Kyra who seems to have the time of her life.

“Do you think I can eat something?” you ask Kate.

“Sure, I’ll go to the cafeteria to grab you a sandwich or something. Do you want something else?”

You shake your head and she gets up, imitated by Kyra who claims to be hungry too. You don’t know if it’s true or if she wants to leave you alone with Steph, but you are happy to be alone with her a little bit.

What you said earlier when it was only you with Kate and Ellen comes back in your mind and you wriggle a little bit on your bed.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not weird” you mumble without looking at her.

“Don’t you dare tell me she came to help you under the shower” she says sternly.

You wince at her tone but shakes your head, searching for her gaze this time. If you are weird, she seems tense. Like very tense. You don’t want to upset her, but it seems more important for you to tell the truth.

Steph had crossed her arms on her chest, still seated in the chair in front of your bed.

“It’s not that” you say, nervously passing your hand in your hair. “But I might said that I have a girlfriend to her”

Steph looks at you blankly for several seconds, so much that you start to think that she’s waiting for you to add something.

“How is that a problem?” Steph asks.

“Kate was here too”

“And… That’s all? You seem so uneasy because you told a girl who was hitting on you that you already have someone?”

She doesn’t seem annoyed anymore; you almost have the impression that she’s repressing a smile. And you don’t really understand what the hell is happening.

“We agreed to keep it hidden for several times and we never discussed about being girlfriend” you frown.

Steph is totally smiling now, finally leaving her chair to come sit in front of you on your bed. She was upset and now she seems… softened?

“I am glad that you put a stop to her flirting with that information” Steph grabs your hand while talking “And I know none of us asked the other officially, but I would love to make it a little bit more official. Not by saying it to everyone, but at least by putting a real word on our relationship.”

“So… If I, hypothetically, ask you to be my girlfriend, would you say yes?”

“Hypothetically, yes” she smirks

And she laughs when she sees you rolling your eyes. You are not mad at her for her teasing though, how could you when her laugh is the most beautiful thing ever? You decide to try one more time, a little bit more seriously this time.

“Stephanie-Elise Catley, would you please be my girlfriend?”

“I’d love to”

You have time to see her smile before she leans in your direction, and you finish the gesture to kiss her.

Steph Catley is your girlfriend.

You don’t know what you did to be so lucky, but the happiness you feel right now makes you pass your arms around her waist, and you take her with you when you let yourself fall on the bed.

She lets out a high short scream when you make her fall on you, but her lips are soon very occupied again.

Both of you are able to hear when the door of the room is open though and you turn your head, waiting to be facing Kyra. But it’s actually Kate, holding your scan in one hand and your sandwich in the other.

“Oh… New girlfriend. I see”

[wonderjanga]

Sharing Can in Fact Lead to Caring

Sometimes Billy doesn’t need Solomon. Sometimes, Billy just says whatever that comes off the top of his head, it can be surprisingly helpful at times. (Billy doesn’t realize most of them are just coming to their dad figure for advice)

Such as the time Wonder Woman came to him concerned about time dilation. When Solomon explained what that meant, he had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about. Basically, she was worried about the afterword of the Justice League and her friends and how she would outlive them all. He brought her ice cream and they talked it out. In a way, he supposed he understood her. Billy couldn’t remember his mom or dad’s faces or personalities. He only had Captain Marvel to go off of and he guesses Mary, but she looks more like a young version of their mom. In the end, after much talking and trying to show he understands her worries, she seemed to be doing better.

Then, there was a talk with J’onn. The Martian had confided in not feeling at home with the humans. Not that he blamed him. J’onn had lost his home. So, Billy talked with him. Again, sort of relating. The way the Martian described missing his planet, reminded Billy of how he’d missed his parents. By the end of the talk, the Martian seemed to feel a little lighter after it.

Then, there was this kid.

Little Girl: *sitting on a bench alone*

Marvel: “Hey there, miss. Where are your parents?”

Little Girl: *stares* “There not here.”

Marvel: “Why’s that?” *sits down next to her*

Little Girl: *shrugs*

Marvel: “Well, then do you have any guardians?”

Little Girl: “I think so, but I don’t really like her. She’s mean. I don’t think she likes me or my foster siblings.”

Marvel: “Oh? You’re from foster care?”

Little Girl: *hesitantly nods head*

Marvel: “And I’m guessing you ran away?”

Little Girl: *nods again* “Are you going to tell on me?”

Marvel: “No. I ran away from my foster homes all the time.” *shrugs, doesn’t know why he’s saying this but might as well go with it*

Little Girl: “You did?”

Marvel: “Yeah. They were all terrible. And the ones that weren’t terrible were just neglectful.”

Little Girl: “What does neglectful mean?”

Marvel: “It means not paying attention to something. Like for example, I had this foster parent who would go days without coming home, leaving me and the other kids to have to feed ourselves. She wasn’t paying attention to us or our needs.”

Little Girl: “That’s sad.”

Marvel: “Yeah, it is. So, why did you run away from your foster home?”

Little Girl: “The lady who adopted me throws stuff when she gets mad. She’s mad a lot.”

Marvel: “That sucks. I had a foster home like that too. He would throw a bottles, forks, books, whatever he could get his hands on.”

Little Girl: “You did? Did you think it was scary?”

Marvel: “Yeah.”

*silence*

Marvel: “You know, a friend of mine got adopted recently.”

Little Girl: “Really?”

Marvel: “Yeah, he’s been with them for about half a year now. He says they’re great. They’ve been fostering kids for a while apparently too.”

Little Girl: “That sounds nice.”

Marvel: “It is. Do you want me to ask about it?”

Little Girl: “Huh?”

Marvel: “Do you want me to ask him if there’s any spots open?”

Little Girl: *stares for a bit* “Yeah.” *stomach growls*

Marvel: “Alright, then I will. Now, how long have you been on the streets?”

Little Girl: “Oh uhm… a couple days.”

Marvel: “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” *stands up*

Little Girl: “Really?” *hops off the bench*

Marvel: “Yeah. You feeling chili dogs or tacos? Those are the only two vendors I know that’ll give me something free.”

Little Girl: “Tacos, please.”

Marvel: “Alright then- uh, my bad. I never asked your name?”

Little Girl: “Oh uhm it’s Darla.”

Marvel: “Darla? Alright then Darla.” *fatherly ahh smile* “Let’s go get you some food, ‘kay?”

So ya. He met Darla. She’s a sweet kid. He would need to ask Freddy more about the Vazquez situation. Hopefully, just hopefully, they could squeeze the little girl into their family.

Also, uh… I guess in this AU, Freddy met the Vazquez and got adopted because he went back into foster care for a bit for whatever reason. There, he got adopted into the family. Darla joins after him for this post to work.