#idk what to say as a follow up the convo is already over

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

This is my story and I'm sticking to it

I will continue sticking to my theory PREDICTION that I have been holding onto since before S3 premiered, since S2 as a matter of fact

This book spoils the entire plot (not just Sydcarmy).

Now, after having watched S3 and knowing that, as of right now, they are only yet to shoot S4's ending, the last 2 eps, which is going to be the series finale (they haven't shot it yet because they wanted to avoid spoilers and are still working on the final drafts of the scrips as I mentioned here months ago), I can safely say that means it's all still pointing at what the book is hinting at → a huge game changer midseason and an even huger setback right after that makes us all think the game is over. But it is not.

Overall, S3 was a big setback for the whole plot, so now all that's missing is the last-minute turnaround the book talks about.

IMO the game changer will be "The Sydcarmy confession" / "Clairmy break up", not sure in what order but would make more sense to have Carmy break up for good with the C person BEFORE coming clean with Syd, not after, but he's messy so IDK about that, all IK is that it's gonna happen and that's enough for me. I also think Carmy will not do it alone, he will get help. That is why I came up with my Cyrano theory, my Sydcarmy team for the gold theory, etc. All those theories can basically be summarized in the ones who could help him are Luca, Sugar, Richie, Jimmy, and EVENTUALLY, not at first, even Emmanuel and Donna. I wanna believe that Marcus and Tina will be Sydcarmy's cornerbacks, HOWEVER, that may be in the restaurant but outside the restaurant, Richie will be Carmy's voice of conscience because that is what he already is:

And probably Marcus will be Syd's.

Again, IDC about the minutia, I just know they both will need everyone's help not to give up on each other and they will get it one way or the other, and at some point, it will look like it's over, but that's not gonna be the case. Ultimately it doesn't really matter where the help comes from, but as the book says it's definitely gonna be a TEAM EFFORT, he won't grow a pair all by himself, he will need nudges and pushes from ppl who know Syd is the best thing that ever happened to him.

Anyway, that is not gonna go well. And then... at the end, last minute just like the book spoils: They are gonna win!

Sydcarmy team for the GOLD!

That is code for → they are getting the star and they are endgame.

I have been beating this old drum for a while now:

Related note

This summary of all this material I had was brought to you by a convo I had with @only-one-brain-cell that inspired me to check my own #Gingerpovs archives. There's much more material there and in my other tag #TheBearSeason4Gingerpredictions which I encourage you to check and RB if you find something you are interested in there.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

Storer already told us, it's all in there

Always follow the heart.

❤️

And it's gonna happen at the last minute when we think we have already lost the game.

[deityofhearts]

thinking of the time one of my team leads at walmart was checking out and I lowkey had a baby crush on her but obvs nothing was going to happen there and one day I was checking out her items and was like “I like your eyebrow slit!” and she was like “thanks, it’s a scar.” and i was like “oh!… have a nice day!” because I didn’t know what else to say and her stuff was already purchased and I never spoke to her again because she was a team lead for the ppl in freight and not my areas

[lilypadding]

👒 maraudersdenier Follow

sometimes to feel alive I rewatch danganronpa season 1 and 2

#idk it was peak series to me #they had the hope's peak arc going #season 3 was completely different

5 notes

🪴 soniasansflowers Follow

I can't believe the surviving casts of DR are just walking around now??? you survived a genuine killing game and now you're just waking up on tuesday and driving to starbucks to get a drink????? what???????? 

#danganronpa #scribby.txt

111 notes

🧚‍♀️ loserrrville Follow

sorry but I still think it's funny that dr2 was the only season where they revived the cast 💀

#and the only cast that deserved it was s15 but you guys aren't ready for that convo #sdr2 #dr15

42 notes

🧸 danganwrongpers Following

🎮 monokumasmilk Following

Do you guys ever think about how everyone in Danganronpa isn't even real...? We'll never know their actual backstory, especially not from their perspective. Their memories are always wiped and replaced with hijinks fabrications. And we've already talked about how everything is real to them because it's in their head, but it's not. Their memories are built on lies. nobody in this show is real. 

🧨 fdr38frontlines Follow

average danganronpa fan discovers acting

#the reblog is funny and everything but op is onto something #I've gotten so uncomfortable whenever I think about it for too long #yeah they're all consenting adults #and they signed up for it knowing what would happen #but...

23.8k notes

☁️ komaedasoup Following

remember when people got so weird about nagito and hajime hanging out (and being actual friends in interviews) that they stopped talking to each other just to avoid you freaks shipping them 😭

👤 despairinglyhopeful-deactivated

they probably stopped talking publicly not privately 👀

☁️ komaedasoup Following

THIS 💥 POST 💥 IS 💥 ABOUT💥 YOU 💥

#be NORMAL??!?!

547 notes

🍇 junkorenoshimer Follow

everyone's suddenly so obsessed with danganronpa not being "ethical" but how did you guys not realize this show is kinda fucked when that one interview with makoto came out and he literally says he got nightmares of the game and intense survivor's guilt. like the signs have always been there

🎮 monokumasmilk Following

Yet you never made a post about it until now did you?

3.1k notes

🔑 wannabekirigiri Following

KYOKO'S RED CARPET LOOK??!?!?! 😍😍😍😍😍 SOBBING AND CRYING ADN SKINNING MYSELF RUGHT NOW

#i am normal so normal so

2 notes

🎀 sdr2-supremacy Following

the things I would let hajime hinata do to me

🍡 hinatahajimeofficial Following

Okay let me run you over

🎀 sdr2-supremacy Following

HAJIME??????

#help I forgot he was real #DOES HE SCROLL THROUGH HIS OWN TAG??? 

52.9k notes

🔑 wannabekirigiri Following

all my mutuals will be very happy to know I GOT CAST FOR SEASON 53!!!!

#for legal reasons this is a joke haha 

1 note

based entirely on @okthatsgreat 's original post

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AiTA for not wanting my friends at my booth anymore?

I (29 F) have been trying to get started as an artist at our local conventions. So I found a few friends willing to booth share so we could split the table cost. I always put the down payment on the table for cons in full.

The first year was really hard. People haven't shown as much interest in my fandom merch as I had thought they would (prints/keychains/etc).

They (25) make bags by hand (non fandom related). They're cute items, but people don't show as much interest in them.

The first year we boothed together they were late to the con, and to when the vendor hall opened, and to when I had set times I needed a break from the booth, and wasn't answering their phone. When they have been on booth duty, they spend all their time on their phone and don't talk to attendees unless people ask them questions.

I had a convo abt how disappointed I was with the lack of communication and them being late months after the con. They said they'd work on it and I tried to make it clear that this was my booth (since it's my money we're gambling with). I didn't mind renting out space on it. I had already promised them they'd have space at the table this year, so I didn't push the issue further, but I made it clear if we were to keep being friends I couldn't be in a position where I relied on them professionally. They said they understood, but we had been drinking when talking abt it.

This year, they were late to set up again. They brought people not involved with the booth to sit with us without asking me. So there was four people and my partner didn't feel comfortable being the fifth even though though my partner was the one that helped with set up the day prior. They were an hr late to dinner plans with us that night with 0 notice for an important phone call (their partner found out abt the DBZ guy dying. That was the importaht call) They didn't show up today until 2 hrs after open today with no notice of what was going on (they're rooming with 2 other people that have my # and were at the booth day 1) supposedly due to a migraine, but I know they drink hard after con closes. They have been there when I needed a break and responded when I asked where they were, they've had matching cosplays with me all con and it's all things I'm into. I can see they genuinely tried compared to last year.

Then my partner thought they heard them complaining about me while I was on lunch break today. (I only got food for my family/SO during the 2 hrs their half of the booth people was MIA. I assumed they were getting their own food in that time. Since yesterday they had food before showing up and didn't want lunch). And I had included them in my paid cosplay shoot without asking for them to chip in.

I spent way more money on the table this year literally the day we drove up to the con (long story, but point is I locked in the space, they weren't involved in getting table space this year) It's turned out better than before against all odds. I broke even day 2 not including their sales.

Then they were talking abt how next year they want more table space to take commissions and bring more stuff and be "more involved" with the table. I don't want that. It's like they don't remember agreeing it was my table at the end of last year.

I'm known for being flat/blunt when I'm upset. And at this point it's gone passed inexpeirience to just not thinking abt this as work.

Last year we agreed they'd give me $50 or what sales they made and this year it looks like they won't sell enough to make it to the $50. If I don't take their cut, I know my SO will be frustrated with me for being a push over and them for not following through on our agreement.

Idk how to firmly establish the boundary that it's my table and I don't want them having any more space/control over it without them saying I'm the asshole. I think it would be shitty to do that after demanding all their sales, but idk when to bring it up. It's also their birthday week this week.

I don't mind renting space, but at this point they don't understand that's what they are doing and I'm kind of done. This is our 2nd year doing this convention together, but my 4th table. My partner's furious with them abt the whole thing. I just want the freedom of making choices with my booth without being disappointed by people who say they care about it, then act like working the booth isn't a job.

AITA? Is there a way to not have them less involved with the booth next year without coming off as an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[ursaius]

Hey so,

Claudia well now they go by Serenity, are talking about you on their Instagram. Some people are sending them anonymous questions to which they reply to by posting a story. Which are:

1. Someone asked how they were doing about the whole situation with you and they said “ Fine. I have lots of friends who don’t agree with him letting ppl just disrespect me and doxx me so I feel better about allowing myself to be angry about it now.”

2. Someone said that they had the right to be angry but so do you considering what they did to you and how they’re lacking accountability and how their friends are enabling them so this was their response:

“ I don’t control how my friends feel about the situation so..”

“for months” it was literally two months…I have no more accountability to take I took it all already??? I apologized to him both publicly and privately and he decided to take it to the internet?? My friends aren’t enabling anything their simply sticking up for me for being harassed and doxxed hope this helps”

“Him allowing ppl to doxx and misgender me is also hurtful and far more morally wrong than me catfishing him hope this helps”

I would also like to mentioned that they posted a screenshot of a convo with someone on their insta story and they were talking about how they were feeling anxious and paranoid and that they didn’t want to go out. And they captioned it “ literally may god himself take me out if I ever feel sad over a butch who made me paranoid to leave my own house”

And lastly on the anonymous questions they reply to on their story someone anonymously told them this and they agreed to what the person said:

“ people STILL trying to claim you not taking accountability like you didn’t write a five page apology to his ass. He is not traumatized or severely hurt by this if he’s already with someone new! His ass is fine. He is not being harassed or doxxed leave serene alone. Stop defending this white person he is no saint. And that’s so clear to see when he’s willingly putting a poc life in danger”

Another person said this as well which serenity also agreed with:

“People caring more about u catfishing him than him being the one not taking accountability and letting ppl doxx and misgender u says a lot..they’ll always defend the white person even when they’re the ones being malicious”

That’s all, I just thought I should let you know because it’s absolutely crazy that they’re telling their followers that you’re the bad guy here?? When they’re the ones that deliberately hurt you. And they claim to take accountability but what they have been posting on their insta stories says completely otherwise. And they are trying to turn this on you and saying you put them in harms way or are letting people do things to them. As if you have any control of what others do. Idk how the hell they managed to turn this all on you but it’s ridiculous. And they’re also saying that they’re the ones who are angry now. And the worst thing is that they are saying you’re morally wrong or a bad person. Like what??? I just had to share this with you bc it’s literally insane and they’re accusing you of things you didn’t do.

Anyway I’m sorry this person is literally saying all these things about you. And letting others say those things as well, it’s so messed up after all they have done to you and others.

I hope you’re doing well, sending love <3🫂

Literally no one doxxed them. Like at all ever. So that's very funny that they're using a lie they made up to make themselves the victim. And trying to downplay the shit they did to me and once again I am not the only victim here. I'm just the loudest. They also victimized Jess and Lottie by literally stealing their identities. The only reason they're trying to paint me as being the solo victim in all this is because I'm white so it's easier to paint the white person harassing the poc. The way they're deliberately avoiding talking about Jes and Lottie makes this obvious. And also I don't know what pronouns Claudia is using at the moment for all I knew they could have switched and starting using she/her I wasn't stalking their account and checking every five seconds. And given they have a history of using pronouns sets from people they're pretending to be this could have very well been the case. But still I haven't ever misgendering Claudia. And I don't owe Claudia more than that I literally fucking hate you and I hope you burn in hell I'm not gonna unlock you every five seconds to check what fucking pronouns your using to correct someone in an ask telling me that your trying to frame me as an aggressor. Get over yourself and grow up. No one fucking doxxed you. You were fucking lying about where your loved and people just said you could live in Arkansas or you could live in Montreal. That's not fucking doxxing. Posting someone's address is doxxing. You just want something to cling to. And assuming I'm overing it and not struggling because I have a new partner is hilarious ooh sorry I have people that love me I still tried to drown myself last month but thanks for that assumption. I'm still experiencing extreme bouts of hallucinating and I'm constantly scared for my life. But yeah no I'm totally fine and obviously not struggling because you someone know that despite what little I post about what I actually do with myself. And about me taking accountability for fucking what exposing what a fucked up person you are sure I'll take accountability for that. That's me I did that. I told everyone how youve been catfishing for years and how you pretended to be Jess since January even though you lied about it saying it was only since April. I told everyone you were confronted by Jes and told to stop in JUNE you said you would but you but you continue to do it anyway and you blocked her. I told everyone about some of the fucked up shit you did to Charlotte including claiming to have her first and legal last name. Including race faking as a mixed Latino Mexican/Filipino just so you could claim Latin cultures and imitate Lottie even more. Copy and pasting Charlottes post and trying to claim them as your own. Gaslighting everyone into thinking Lotties the crazy one when they made a post about you. To name a few of the fucked up things you've done. Claudia you've made three different people paranoid and afraid to leave their houses because you can't leave us the fuck alone.

And I even stated specifically before that no one should be trying to dox anyone and that's illegal so idk why your 1. Trying to pretend that even happened 2. Trying to frame me

And to anyone trying to act like they know me or anything hey fuck you. I don't talk about my mental health a lot here but I suffer from a lot I'm not well and I'm missing bolts. When I'm stressed or suffering emotionally I have visual and auditory hallucinations, I have depression and anxiety typical for a Tumblr user I know. I have bipolar and either some form of ADHD or ADD but I've not gotten tested because I don't have health insurance. So don't go around assuming I'm doing alright because I have a partner and I'm not posting about how I wanna kill myself every five minutes. I'm not out here throwing pity parties and trying to get everyone to feel sympathy for me. I don't need to anyone with common sense can see what Claudia did was wrong the way they went about it and tried to avoid taking responsibility for it and changing their identity once again just so they could avoid being associated with it is proof. If Claudia wants to paint me as some villain in his attempt to feel like he's not the world biggest douche than by God let the poor fucker I don't care. I mean I care a little but there's literally nothing I can about it because he has a victim complex.

[peachjagiya]

https://x.com/sofini123/status/1822021683663761414?s=46&t=Xwy3F-OqT2vgT3Xa7r868g

i’m finding different peoples’ takes on the vibe of the show rlly interesting. i personally didn’t sense an awkward vibe and i didn’t think they had nothing to talk about/no convo of substance. cuz tbh what else would they discuss other than lighthearted things and just joking around? it’s a show for the fans to see so i doubt they’d be immediately jumping into some deep conversation about their views on society and the world LOL. ig also to me, when im w a very close friend who ive known for years and i already know what’s going on in their life, theres not that many “new” things to talk about ? like it’s more so quick catching up and then you just resort to random conversations and being playful. idk maybe that’s just me. ofc deep conversations come up w close friends too but i’d never expect that from this type of documentary series which is clearly just meant to be fun and following them on their random outings/adventures.

but i have seen a few other ppl say they felt a super awkward and off vibe though so maybe im just missing something ? whatever it may be i still think the interactions are cute and very entertaining. im super excited (also a bit nervous/anxious) to see tae in the next episode. i think it’ll be a lot of fun w the three of them and im sure it’ll settle into something comfortable for the three of them within the first few interactions of all being together. i do wonder how they’ll frame the dynamic though. id we’ll see something vaguely equal or if it’ll be framed as jimin being the middle man as it has in the past. to me that would so obviously be convoluted since we know jungkook and tae have been hanging and much closer than vmin or jikook (who clearly hadn’t seen eo at all lol). but ik it’s not like they’ll rlly show just how close tkk are anyways so who knows. sorry this got so long, i went on a tangent 😭😭

Don't apologise!

I did sense awkwardness in ep1. I feel like "matched energy" has stopped being words that mean anything because I've used them so much over the last 24 hours but it's a good way to explain.

It's not about what they had to talk about. It's about the mismatch of mood and energy. But many things can influence that! Long flights, nervousness at doing a reality show without the other members, a foreign country, illness, not having seen each other for a while. Mismatched energy can be temporary or permanent. In their case, I felt it was temporary.

However, to my mind, what sets Taekook aside is that their energy is rarely mismatched and if it ever is, they're super adaptable to each other's mood and able to come out of it very fast. See Inkigayo. JK in a grump, Tae arrives smiley. Mismatch. But it's resolved in moments, seconds even, with soft words and Tae drawing on a thing JK loves. That unconscious immediate reconfiguring to find balance is COUPLE 101 to me.

By his own admission, Jimin enjoys winding JK up, amping up the awkward, like a big brother with his little brother. Redressing the balance is not at the forefront of his mind and to me, and this is very much just my thoughts, that's what felt awkward in ep1.

Thanks anon! 💜

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

Sparks

cw: none

notes: this is based on two tiktoks by @Sarajamss (idk their Tumblr), but you should go follow them. I give the plot credit to their tiktoks

It was late and all Armin wanted to do was stay up and read in peace. He was curled up in one of the bathroom stalls, just hoping he could concentrate and have some quiet with his book to… distract himself; at least that’s what he liked to call it. If he spent too much time thinking in his own brain, about his own emotions, he would simply be fucked. He heard the door to the bathroom open and he hitched his breath, praying he would continue to go unnoticed. 

“Armin, dude, I know you’re in here. Um… is something wrong?” Eren’s voice quietly called out. Eren also wasn’t the best with emotions and Armin bit his lip. “Armin,” he said more sternly than the first time. 

Armin slowly opened the door to the stall and peaked his head out. “Hey, Eren. What are you doing up so late?���

“I could ask you the same question. What're you doing in here?”

Armin held up his book and offered a small smile. “Just reading.”

“Don’t you usually do that in the barracks.”

“Well, yes, but Connie and Sasha snore and I just needed some quiet…” he trailed off and tried to piece his words together but was failing miserably. 

Eren leaned against one of the walls and thought for a second. “Is this gonna be like an emotional convo…? Should I get Mikasa because we both know that I-”

“Eren calm down,” Armin interrupts quickly. “I’m literally fine, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Eren furrows his brows and glances over Armin to read his body language. “I’ll be right back.”

“No, Eren don’t get Mikasa I swear-.” But before Armin was able to finish, Eren had already left to get Mikasa. A small string of curse words circulates Armin’s mind. 

About two minutes later, Mikasa enters the bathroom, Eren in toe. She looks a bit disgruntled, her hair messy and her scarf wrapped tightly around her. 

“I told him to not-”

“No, Armin. Eren said something was wrong. Are you okay?” she asks quietly, leaning against the wall and yawning. 

“I’m literally fine you two, I don’t understand where you’re getting this from!” Armin blushes. 

Mikasa and Eren share a knowing glance that makes Armin feel very uncomfortable. Mikasa runs a hand through her hair and sighs. 

“Something’s been on your mind recently, just talk to us. We’re the last people to judge you,” she says quietly. Eren sits on the ground and watches the interaction between Armin and Mikasa, noticing there is some non-verbal communication happening between the two of them. 

“Just insecurities about myself,” Armin admits, a blush creeping on his cheeks again. “I kinda hate my hair and just… body issues… self esteem issues… you know, the works,” he rambles. 

Mikasa tugs on her scarf and nods. “It’s okay, Armin. We love you anyway and you know… when you’re ready to actually talk about what’s wrong, Eren and I are here for you.”

Armin bites his lip and doesn’t say anything; he just offers a forced smile. “Let’s go to bed you guys. I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.”

______________________________________________________________________________

“JEAN YOU’RE SO STUUUUPID!” Armin hears Eren scream from the other room, post-meal time. He gets up and makes his way to the room, book in hand, and sees Eren and Jean fighting it out, Connie snickering in the corner. 

“You guys, just go one day or I swear,” Armin threatens. 

“Ooh, Armin’s gonna swear?” Connie asks excitedly. 

“No- that’s not-”

“But Armin, Jean was being a dickhead again!” Eren complains. 

Armin’s mouth gapes slightly and he looks between the two boys. If he asks what happened, he would be greeted with the most stupid disagreement. 

“Alright,” Armin mumbles, sitting down next to the three of them. “What did Jean say?”

“Well, Jean was commenting-”

“Don’t act like I started this, asshole,” Jean interrupts. 

“I will end your fuc-”

“Both of you shut up and explain each of your sides of the story without interrupting, or I’ll have Connie do it. Eren you first.”

Eren smirks at being chosen to explain his side first. “Well, we were actually all getting along for once. Ya know, boys being boys. ‘Hehe she’s cute’; shit like that. Then Jean had the audacity to make an inappropriate comment about Mikasa.”

Armin feels his heart sink into his stomach and he inhales sharply at the names ‘Jean’ and ‘Mikasa’. He rings his hands together to center himself again. “What exactly did he say?”

“I don’t remember, it was something stupid like ‘she’s so hot when she’s fighting titans I wish I could be a titan so she could-’”

“Oh my fucking god, I absolutely did not say that!” Jean gasps out, a blush creeping on his cheeks. 

Armin purses his lips. “Okay then what did you say?”

“I just said she’s really pretty!”

Connie snickers and Armin side eyes him. 

“First of all, just saying that doesn’t seem like it constitutes Eren beating the living hell out of you. Second of all, Connie, why did you laugh?”

“Oh, I laugh at everything, Armin. Don’t take my word for anything,” Connie chuckles again. 

Armin rubs his head. “What did Jean say in regards to Mikasa?”

“To be honest I just kinda just heard ‘blah blah, Mikasa, blah, titan, blah blah, hot, titan, blah, JEAN YOU’RE SO STUUUUPID!”

“Alright that’s enough- wait did you say ‘hot titan’?” Armin asks quickly. 

“Oh sorry, my bad. There should’ve been a comma in between the words hot and titan I totally see-”

“This is not the matter at hand you guys!” Eren says, cutting off Armin and Connie’s side tracked conversation. 

Armin just shakes his head. “Here’s the verdict. Jean don’t make inappropriate comments about women-”

“-YEAH!”

“And Eren,” Armin faces his best friend. “Stop beating people up for kicks and giggles. You’re getting on my nerves.”

Connie giggles. “Anywho, now that you’re here Armin, you should totally spill who you think is cute! We all have.” Connie wiggles his eyebrows and Armin raises his own. 

“Connie? You find someone attractive? Like as in unironically?” Armin asked.

“Oh hell no, I just exist here dude. But Eren and Jean shared so it's your turn.”

Armin blushes and looks at the three boys. “I don’t know, I think I also just… exist here. Whatever Connie said.”

Jean aggressively shakes his head in disbelief. “Nah, you do the stupid thing guys do when they have a crush on a girl. Ya know, appearing more shy, smiling more, blushing more… all the shit.”

Mikasa walks by the room and Armin watches Eren and Jean ogle her. Armin sighs, thinking to himself for a minute. 

“No, unfortunately no crushes here, just… existing.”

Connie raises his hand for a high five, but Armin doesn’t notice, he’s watching Jean’s face as he watches Mikasa walk by. Connie high fives himself and it snaps Armin back to reality. 

“Jean and I need to go meet up with Sasha, but we’ll see you around,” Connie says, grabbing Jean and dragging him out of the room. Flustered, Jean smiles and offers a small goodbye wave. The second the door shuts, Armin’s shoulders slump and he exhales dramatically. 

“Okay so who do you have a crush on?” Eren asks after a minute of silence. “It’s not Mikasa, she’s like a sister to you… it’s not Sasha is it?”

Armin rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No it’s neither of them.”

“I’m kinda running out of options, Armin. Who is she?”

The silence that follows weighs unspeakably on Armin’s chest and he fidgets with anything he can find. Eren just makes a confused face; Armin’s going to give him a minute. That’s when it hits him. 

“Oh my fucking god, Armin,” Eren breathes out. Armin looks everywhere except his best friend and he bites his lip. 

“I’m sorry I should have told you sooner it’s just-”

“Okay just to clarify, you’re gay, yeah?”

Armin’s mouth drops slightly and he lets out a low scoff in response. “I guess so… I’m kind of unlabeled. I’m not sure. I-I do find both boys and girls attractive I just… like a guy right now,” Armin admits sheepishly, the flush in his cheeks burning through his skin. 

“Ohhhhh it all makes so much sense now, that’s why you were blushing when Connie said he didn’t have romantic feelings for anyone and you copied his ‘just existing’ answer. You like Connie!”

Armin can’t help but blink in disbelief of how dumb his best friend was. “No. You absolute idiot that is not who I have a crush on.”

“Oh my gosh is it me?”

“Hell no, Eren.”

“I don’t know whether or not to be offended by how quickly you said that or if I should-”

“It’s Jean, Eren. I-I… I like Jean.”

The weight of the room feels almost heavier than when Eren was processing that Armin liked a guy. 

“J-Jean…? Like horse-faced, in love with Mikasa Jean?” Eren stammers. 

Armin just nods slowly, feeling his eyes well up. “That’s the problem. Why I’ve been so down on my looks and trying to avoid being around him and… he doesn’t like boys Eren. And I don’t know what to do or feel.”

“I… wish I could tell you, Armin and I’m sorry I can’t. I… all I can say is thank you for telling me. Are you going to talk to Mikasa?”

Armin hesitates. “I don’t know. I know she doesn’t like Jean, she’s obsessed with you-”

“You think Mikasa likes me?”

“Eren, this is about me right now. Anyway, I know she isn’t interested in Jean but still… I can’t help but be jealous of her or I don’t know.”

“Well we both know that Mikasa wouldn’t look or think about you differently at all. So anyway, back to the whole ‘Mikasa is obsessed with me’ thing. Can you elaborate?”

______________________________________________________________________________

“Damn dude, the elephant in the room was crazyyyy,” Connie tells Jean as soon as they leave the room. 

Jean cocks a confused eyebrow at Connie. “I don’t think I’m following.”

“Armin?”

“Well, yeah, he clearly wasn’t interested in talking about the girl he liked which was fine I just think-”

Connie clears his throat and side eyes Jean. 

“What?” Jean asks, completely oblivious. 

“Try your other sentence again.”

“He clearly wasn’t interested in talking about the girl he liked?”

Connie cringes. “Imma stop you right there. See what’s wrong with that sentence?”

“Imma be so for real with you right now, I couldn’t give two shits about a grammar lesson.”

“Not a grammar lesson, Jean. You and Eren really are insanely stupid.”

“Do not put me on the same pedestal as him. Anyway, care to explain or are we going to continue to be weirdly vague and ominous?”

“You ever thought about your sexuality?” Connie asks. 

Jean has to stop walking to process what Connie had just asked. “My… what? No! I like girls, Connie.”

A long beat of silence follows as Connie waits for Jean to keep talking. 

“Though I guess some boys can be really pretty… but like a select few. Like in a feminine, long hair, bright eyes kind of way.”

Connie frowns, his eyebrows raised. “Alright…” 

“But no, yeah I’m completely straight.”

Sasha walks up, a bag of chips in her hand and she smiles at the two boys. “Hey guys! What’re we talking about?”

Jean responds with “titans” at the same time as Connie says “Jean’s sexuality”. Jean stares daggers into Connie and Sasha laughs. 

“Is he finally coming to terms with the fact that he’s bisexual?”

“I’m bi-what? No no, the fuck I’m not. Is this a common topic?”

“Between Sasha and I? Yeah! But it’s just an exclusive topic between us so don’t worry. No one else suspects a thing. Except everyone.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jean starts panicking and sweating. 

Sasha smiles. “What is the expression again? ‘The closet is made of glass’! I think most people… figure as much.”

Jean facepalms and aggressively rubs his eyes. “My street cred can’t take another hit you guys.”

“What street cred?” Both Sasha and Connie ask at the same time, then start laughing.  

“You guys are psychopaths,” Jean mumbles, picking up his pace to be in step with Connie and Sasha. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“Which one’s that?” Connie asked, laying on the grass next to Armin and looking at the stars. 

“The Big Dipper, I already told you that one.” Armin laughs. It was very rare he got to spend one on one time with Connie but he found himself enjoying it a lot. 

“Which one’s your favorite?”

“Mm, honestly it’s hard to choose but maybe-”

“What are you guys doing out here?” Armin gets interrupted by Jean appearing, holding a low light. 

“Oh hi, Jean! Armin was telling me about the stars and the constellations,” Connie said, sitting up. Armin joined Connie and watched as Jean walked closer to them. 

“Mind if I sit?” Jean asked. 

Armin was hoping that the light Jean was holding was too low to see the blush creeping on his cheeks. “No, not at all. Join us.”

“Armin was just telling me about the Little Dipper-”

“Big Dipper,” Armin corrected. “It’s really hard to see the Little Dipper from here.”

Jean watched as Armin spoke, his eyes scanning his face in the low light. 

“Why’s that?” Jean asked. 

“Well, it’s because of the way we’re positioned. So basically from our…”

Jean tried to force himself to focus on what Armin was saying but he was having a hard time. He was watching Armin’s face light up, talking about something he was so passionate about. He was watching Armin brush the hair out of his face every time a small gust of wind came. He was watching Armin’s blue eyes darting across the sky as he explained what he talked about. He was watching as Armin’s Adam’s apple bobbed when he spoke and-

“So does that make sense?” Armin asked, snapping Jean out of his thoughts. 

“Um… yeah totally.”

Armin and Connie laughed. “You didn’t understand a single thing he said, did you?”

Jean frowned. “You guys have fun out here. I need to head to bed.”

“That rhymed!” Connie pointed out as Jean stood up. 

“Goodnight guys,” Jean said awkwardly as he left. 

Armin feels his face fall, disappointed. “What was that about? Did I say something?”

Connie glanced at Armin. “Both you and Jean are really stupid, aren’t you?”

Armin’s mouth drops. “What the hell, Connie. That was uncalled for!”

A beat of silence follows. “Armin? Are you gay?”

“Okay, that’s enough. Let’s go to bed.”

“No, sorry, that didn’t come out right.” Connie giggles. “Come out, get it, it’s a gay joke-”

Armin sighs and bites his lip. “Connie, I don’t know if I am. And only Eren knows so if you tell anyone I will hurt you. Or no, I won’t but I know Eren will for me.”

Connie glances over Armin’s face, curiously. “You like J-”

“It’s time for bed,” Armin said, cutting him off and standing up. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Armin knocks on Commander Hange’s door early the next morning. After a few seconds, he hears their voice say “please come in!”

Armin walks into the unbelievably messy office and notices both Commander Hange and Commander Erwin in the office. 

“Oh, I can come back, it seems this is a bad time,” Armin mumbles. 

“No it’s perfectly fine for us,” Erwin chirps. 

“It’s actually a bad time for me. See, you are here. Wait no, I didn’t mean it like that it’s just-”

“Have a seat, Armin,” Hange says, pulling a chair next to them and Erwin. “What did you need?”

“I needed your advice on something… personal,” Armin mumbles. 

“I’m also your commander, I can give you personal advice,” Erwin informs, nodding. 

“Well, Hange has personal experience with this so I feel as though you might not understand.”

“Try us,” Hange says. “Tea? Coffee?”

Armin shakes his head and bites his lips. “How did you know you wanted to use they/them pronouns?” Armin blurts out. 

Erwin raises his eyebrows and suddenly becomes very uncomfortable. Hange lets out a small laugh in response. 

“Honestly, it’s just how it came about. It was more of a feeling than a knowing. When those emotions and feelings become so intense about something, I suppose.”

Armin nods. 

“Well, whatever your um… gender or pronouns or… whatever you want to be referred to as, we will make sure that the-”

“Commander Erwin, all due respect, don’t hurt yourself. I’m not changing my pronouns.”

Erwin glances around awkwardly. “Um… okay, then I’m even more confused.”

“I think I’m gay.”

Hange smiles. “Well, Erwin will actually be a lot more helpful about this topic!”

“Hange, Levi and I are not gay.”

“No one said anything about Levi,” Hange points out. 

Armin sits there awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands. “This was a bad idea…”

“No it wasn’t, Armin. Thank you for coming to us,” Erwin says. 

“Is it Eren?”

Armin gapes. “No, absolutely not!”

“Connie?” Armin hadn’t expected Erwin to participate in the guessing. 

“You guys please-”

“So that’s a no…” Erwin mentally notes. 

“Omg! I know who it is!” Hange calls out. “It’s Je-”

“SHUT UP!” Armin yells, blushing aggressively. “Please keep it down, Commander. I'm still figuring everything out.”

Erwin and Hange nod, looking between the two of them. “You should talk to him,” Hange says, breaking the silence. 

“I know… I just don’t know what to say. He likes Mikasa.”

Erwin taps his fingers against his leg. “I wouldn’t make assumptions until you talk to him. Just a recommendation.”

Armin thinks about the Commander’s words and bites his lip. “Thank you two for the help… I’m going to go… ponder this all.”

Armin salutes the Commanders goodbye and leaves Hange’s office in a rush. As he’s going down a narrow hallway he bumps into someone. Someone taller than him. Someone-

“Jean!” Armin says surprised. Jean glances up. He was reading a book. “You’re reading?”

“NO!” Jean blurts out and makes to hide the book behind his back but fails and drops it. 

“‘Constellations and Astronomy’,” Armin reads the title of the book on the ground. He picks it up and hands it back to Jean. “Why are you….”

Armin can’t quite tell if he’s making it up, but he swears he sees a blush creeping onto Jean’s cheeks. “I wanted to understand what you were talking about last night.”

“Why are you embarrassed about that?”

“I-I’m not!” he says defensively. Armin smiles and hands the book back to Jean.

“Tonight’s supposed to be a clear night again. I… could show you more constellations?” Armin offers. 

Jean bites his lip nervously. “Like just us?”

“It can be if that’s your preference?”

“I-I’ll see you tonight then, Armin,” Jean says quickly. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Armin got there exceptionally early, his nerves betraying him. He was laying on the lawn, reading a book in an attempt to calm himself down when Jean arrived. 

“Hey!” Jean said, smiling. He laid down next to Armin. “You’re here a lot earlier than I thought?”

“So are you,” Armin admits, laughing. 

“I didn’t want to show up late and make a bad impression,” Jean says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It’s not like this is a date, Jean.” Armin finds himself looking away from the other boy as he says that. 

“No, I know!” Jean blurts out defensively. “It’s just that I like you… woah no. Not like, like like you, I just enjoy your company. But not in like a romantic sort of way, it’s just I. Anyway, stars are cool!” Jean rambles. 

Armin fidgets awkwardly. Connie is Jean’s best friend, Armin shouldn’t be surprised that Connie told Jean how Armin felt. 

“I can’t believe Connie told you,” Armin mumbles. 

“Connie told me what?” Jean says. 

“That I- wait, Connie didn’t tell you anything?”

Jean narrows his eyes, skeptically. “No…? But now I want to know.”

Armin sits quietly, watching the stars start to peak out on the skyline. He went back to the conversation he’d had this morning with the Commanders. He couldn’t just assume something without asking him. But how the hell would Armin even begin that conversation?

“You know the conversation we had about crushes?” Armin says slowly, still looking away from Jean. 

Jean locks his jaw. He doesn’t know why, but he’s suddenly really nervous. “Yes I do.”

“And you talked about how hot you found Mikasa and-”

“Okay let me cut you off there. Just because I find Mikasa hot, doesn’t mean I’m romantically attracted to her or… have a crush on her or whatever.”

Armin falls silent. “You don’t like Mikasa?”

Jean thinks for a moment, realizing this is the first he’s admitted this out loud, even to himself. “No, I don’t think I do. I think I like someone else.”

Armin fidgets again. “Then who do you like?”

“I want you to finish your sentence first.”

“Well what I’m going to say depends on who you like so I feel as though you should go first.”

“No, I’m not interested in going first, Armin. You started talking first anyway!” 

Armin runs his hands along his face, distressed. “Jean, you’re making this so difficult.”

“You’re worried we like the same person, aren’t you?”

“So unfortunately, that’s not mathematically possible, though I would love for that to be the case.”

Jean’s eyes widen. “Armin do you… like me?”

Armin swallows and finally makes eye contact with Jean for the first time in the whole conversation. “Jean, I’m so sorry I know you’re straight and it’s awkward and I-”

Jean cuts Armin off by grabbing his throat and pulling him into a kiss. Armin’s eyes are wide as Jean does that, their lips against each other. Jean has his eyes closed, one hand around Armin’s throat, the other dancing through Armin’s long hair. Armin is frozen, nervously, only observing the licorice-like taste on Jean’s lips. Jean pulls away for a second. 

“You taste like mint tea,” he observes to Armin. 

Armin is still basically frozen in place, barely able to comprehend what is going on. The red in his cheeks is so prominent in the dark night that it’s embarrassing. 

“I’m sorry, Armin, I should have asked-”

Armin wraps his arms around Jean’s neck and kisses him again. This time Armin finds himself closing his eyes, moving against Jean’s licorice lips, his tongue gliding against the cracks in his lips. Armin laces his hands through Jean’s long hair, biting at him. Jean’s large hands are holding Armin’s waist steady as they kiss in the dark grass. 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD SASHA WE MADE IT HAPPEN!” 

Jean and Armin dart apart as quickly as humanly possible and try to act like nothing was going on. They notice Connie sprinting across the lawn to where they imagine Sasha to be standing. Jean stands up and darts to follow Connie and Armin rolls his eyes, standing up slowly and following those two. 

By the time they catch up with each other, Connie and Sasha are giggling in the barracks and Jean is yelling. 

“We told you!” Sasha and Connie chimed. 

“No this is not your doing, just because Armin and I kissed doesn’t mean you can take credit for-”

“You and Armin kissed?” Eren asks, standing in the doorway of the barracks with Mikasa. Mikasa smiles at that statement and they walk in the room.

“TWICE!” Connie yells. 

“TWICE?! ARMIN WHAT?” Eren yells. Mikasa grabs Eren’s arm before he can charge either Armin or Jean… or both. 

Armin stands in the middle of the room, face on fire. “Yes?” 

“Congratulations,” Mikasa says, pulling at her scarf. 

“Commander Hange and Erwin will be thrilled,” a low voice from outside the barracks chimes. All the kids turn and notice Levi standing outside the door with a broom. “They’ve been talking about it all day.”

“Oh my god, not you too Captain Levi!” Armin says, distraught. Levi offers a head nod and walks away. “Everyone please chill out. This happened two minutes ago. It’s going to take some time for all of us. And in the end, it doesn’t concern you guys. This is about Jean and I.”

Jean glances at Armin as he says that and smiles. Armin smiles back. 

“AWW!” Sasha and Connie squeal out. 

“This is fucking disgusting,” Eren mumbles, turning away. Mikasa smiles again and pats Eren’s head in condolence. 

“I HEARD THE NEWS ARMIN!” Hange screams, running into the barracks.

[ihaveforgortoomany]

Discussing Zeno for 2.2 (major spoilers for 1.9 and onwards)

Major story spoilers for Book 8 (2.2), discussion on a certain character and their motives for the 2.0 storyline.

(I wanna discuss the literal complications of this character somewhere since all I have seen on them being discussed are thirst posts, I don't mind but there is so much to them lore wise I wanna discuss and open the floor to discussing)

Igor, or Admiral Igor had appeared in the 1.9 story where Zeno vacuum bombed Arcana into literal dust; he specifically 'confirms' the death of Arcana however even in 1.9 we know Arcana is not dead. I think alongside the anti climatic nature of it PLUS what Druvis says in the interchapter confirms she in some way survived.

What was more surprising for 2.2 was the bretrayal of Igor and most of the subordinates under him, excluding Lopera.

(If I had a penny a highly popular character by the fanbase went over to the Manus, their conversion being virtually unseen by most due to the high demand for them to be playable I would have two pennies, which isn't alot but its weird it happened twice) (this is Sophia and Igor, idk about Diggers again since his anecdote is in 2.1)

The convo between Lilya and Igor

The conversation between Lilya and Igor is also something I want to pick apart since it builds of Lilya's character I think, she isn't as blindly loyal to the Foundation as Sonetto was in the Prologue, admits there are faults in the organisation but regardless sees the good in the Foundation over the Manus. Sonetto she highlights specfically as the good in the Foundation. She sees the Foundation as the only ones able to step up to combating the Storm, the only one to oppose the Manus in any effective way.

Lilya describes Zeno as "a mindless gun, the Foundation points and Zeno shoots" (thats the perfect way to describe the relationship between the two I think).

Both Igor and Lilya do have distain for the sacrifices Zeno has made for the Foundation, the fact that in the Foundation's eyes those sacrifices are deemed as necessary. Igor laments that Zeno cannot continue at its current rate, throwing themselves at the Manus is only leading to more deaths. To this Lilya says she doesnt care.

Then Igor outright confirms Arcana is not dead, and already a red flag is present since the Foundation and everyone operates under the impression that she is. He states that if there is a miracle then there will always be people who follow after it. The incident at the Sao Paulo branch was a likely result, however Igor impresses he is more angry at the death of the officer than soldiers abandoning Zeno. Igor does confirm that Zeno existed prior to the First Storm however afterwards relations between humans and arcanists in their ranks began to deteriorate.

The convo then moves to Vertin, to Lilya tells Igor she trusts completely and Igor agrees on that point (Sonetto and Lilya do have similarities, commitment to the organisation that effectively raised them but a growing loyalty and bond to Vertin, intially build out the guilt over the Breakawy Incident but by 1.9 is the resolve to see the future and goals Vertin wants into fruition)

Igor sees the Foundation and Manus as two sides of the same coin and asks who the Timekeepe would side with, and again Lilya trusts wholehearted in Vertin's decision. Lilya questions again why have this conversation to which Igor says its his own personal interest. Then she gets arrested (wow that was not on the bingo card lol)

Conclusion: Igor sees the current progress of the Storm as a stalemate, neither side is winning and all that it results in its the meaningless sacrifice of countless lives. The death of Arcana was a turning point for Igor alongside the 8 years of virtually no progress - her survival shows that nothing has changed and if she had died the result would be the same. To continue with the Foundation's wishes would only continue the stalemate and the loss of more lives.

Convo between Urd and Igor

Urd claims not to know Igor but he claims and reaffirms to know her (even she is doesn't know him I think it is safe to say with this patch she is Urd, Besemert and the Friend from Afar, the only identity now in question is Martha but I have a theory for that later).

List of what Igor claims and says here:

He and Urd are old friends who fought alongside each other in the lead up to the Storm (who were they fighting exactly? Some proto form of Manus?)

The says the battle was the mistake and that the first Storm affected the entire world, so the next 8 had a limited ranges in comparison.

He now sees the path he fought against as the only path to pursue, the one made by Arcana to ensure a world of peace.

The Goddamn chair. Urd received it from the Foundation, possibly from the White Marble House that serves as the higher ups that did something when the red button on it was pressed. (Its clear whatever it did before cannot currently be replicated, as seen with Nala just spamming the button and nothing happening).

Igor asks what happened after she pressed the button to which she answers nothing (alright so even if she does not recognise Igor she remembers the chair, I have a feeling some form of memory loss has occurred here tbh). The he asks what happened when "you walked into that white house" (what house? The Foundation?) and she denies again about the house BUT acknowledges the chair.

The final line Igor claims her existence will change the fate of everyone.

I have a theory building for Urd and will post later but for Igor its interesting his position.

He likely had a first hand experience of the First Storm, fought for 8 years with virtually no progress to combat the Storm, now choosing to side with the Manus reluctantly as he can no longer see the Foundation as a means to stop the fighting, the deaths and the war. His relation to Urs is also a mystery (dammit he is likely the only person who could confirm if Urd is Vertin's mom)

Former Admiral Igor

It is interesting that the Foundation and Zeno would rather cover up his betrayal and instead declare him dead. He likely had high influence and popularity so declaring he had switch sides likely would have hurt morale.

Conclusion: I guess right about divisions in Zeno... And thats about it. Igor is shaping up to be a complex character for this 2.0 story and hopefully we can get more information on Urd through him, since he has provided even more clues overall in the entire game to the mystery of Urd in one conversation.

[helloheyhihowdyheya]

okay so i’ve been thinking about it and as much as i want to write this idea i don’t have the time to do it but i was thinking about our frat peter convo from a couple months back and like imagine he and reader had been dating for a bit like super serious but they haven’t really discussed where they go from here and maybe reader has a pregnancy scare frat peter goes into like okay yeah this is what i want OR if we don’t like that maybe it’s close to graduation and she’s getting this really big opportunity that means she’ll have to leave NYC for a couple months and wants peter to make up his mind.

also sorry this is so late abby, but i know whatever you pick will be amazing.

Ahh thank you Bambi! And no worries <3 I'm gonna try the second one since idk how to write pregnancy stuff lol. Sorry it's short, but I hope you like it!

--

You let out a long breath, carding your fingers through Peter's blond hair as he lie on your chest. Tangled bed sheets covered your bodies, smelling of last night as the morning light streamed in through the gaps in the curtains. You knew he'd been awake awhile — had come to know the ins and outs of Peter these past months.

As his fingers twitched along your hip, you pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. A hum came from the back of his throat, barely audible above the sound of your heartbeat. Peter must've heard it, the pounding right below his ear. He held you tighter, his voice raspy from sleep as he said, "Good morning."

"Good morning," you whispered back, keeping your breathing even. But it wasn't enough because he slowly lifted his head to look at you with those honey eyes.

His thumb came up to swipe along your jaw. "Are you okay?" A crease formed between his eyebrows, each wrinkle holding a million questions.

You had to look away, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. A hard swallow passed down your throat, making your words come out rough and jagged. "I got the internship, Peter." And before his smile could grow too wide, you said, "But it's three months long... and in California. I'll be gone the whole summer."

Tears already stung at the corners of your eyes, not that you'd let him see that. You did, though, let him scoop you into a crushing hug. Along the skin of your neck, you felt his grin on his lips kiss you. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. God, I never doubted you for a minute."

Your fingers pressed into his bare back, trying to memorize how the muscles moved and the warmth his body gave off. And now, you couldn't stop yourself from saying what had been going through your mind for weeks.

"Will you be here when... the summer's over?" you whispered, pushing down the tightness in your chest. The silence following rang in your ears, feeling as if it could suffocate you.

Peter pulled back, tilting his head as he said, "I'm staying here for the time being, with Dr. Octavius. You know that."

Breathing out a humorless laugh, you shook your head. "Peter, I-" you started, suddenly regretting bringing it up. But you had to know. "I know this has been fun, but are you in this for the long run? Because I don't think I can leave without knowing if this will be here when I come back," you said, gesturing between the two of you.

While the fluttering in your stomach grew stronger, your thoughts racing painfully through your mind, Peter gave you a smirk that almost made you want to forget about all this. His face moved closer to yours, his voice dropping low as he said, "Are you asking me to be your boyfriend right now?"

Your eyebrows raised, a scoff escaping your mouth. Unable to keep from laughing, you pushed him away. "Here I am pouring my heart out to you, and you're making fun of me."

"Hey, hey. I'm not making fun of you," he told you, looking you straight in the eyes. "I'd really like to be your boyfriend."

The air left your lungs, your gaze fixed only on Peter. "Yeah?" The word barely came out louder than a whisper, as if it could wake you up from this dream at any moment.

"Yeah," he breathed against you, bringing his hands up to cup your jaw. He pressed his lips to yours, and you savored every moment. He was yours. You were his.

But he broke away for a second to say, "You know, I'm sure Otto wouldn't mind if I took some time off, say, for a vacation to California. Preferably for the whole summer, but we'll see what I can get."

Your mouth grew into a smile so wide it hurt your cheeks, your heart melting. Your arms hugged Peter close to you, never wanting to let him go. "You're the best boyfriend ever."

His rumbling laugh vibrated against you. "I've only been your boyfriend for one minute."

"I know."

[smokescreenimusprime]

Yooooo! Welcome back boss man! (idk ur pronouns, is it ok for me to call you 'man'?)

Ne-ways, my overthinking aside, I love all your Smokey-centric aus! We desperately need more Smokescreen content.

But, I must say, Early Crash is prolly the most fascinating to me. Like, think of all the possibilities! Smokescreen's literally the only (awake, alive and sentient) Cybertronian on Earth rn, he can basically do anything (with the goverment monitoring him obv). I'd liek to think that when social media finally became popular he became a kind of a faceless celebrity yk? Or maybe he and his buddy that may-or-may-not-be Raf chat about technology and exchange tips and fun facts about it in private convos lol.

Thankee :DDDDDD (and dw, I feel comfortable with any pronouns or gendered terms, so feel free to refer to me however :D)

and I love the idea of him being a sort of Faceless Celebrity. What if when the internet does start to exist and pick up traction, Smokescreen starts a sort of dashcam podcast thing? Like, in the beginning it was just him doing verbal logs to fill the silence and make his travels less boring as he looked from Energon/Cybertronian Things, but then Fowler ends up listening to one of them and suggested Smokey start a podcast. This could even get him some potential spending money for little trinkets and the like

It probably wouldn't have a single topic he'd stick to, really just jumping around whatever he feels like talking about on any given day. Sometimes it's about movies or shows he recently discovered, other times it could be about where he is, and maybe every once in a while it could be just..... him venting. Talking about his home. His mentor. He'd of course be careful to not mention anything incriminating or suspicious, but it adds another thing to look forward to doing and to fill the empty, lonely silence.

And of course, the internet has no idea who this mysterious "Smokescreen" guy is or how he manages to travel to all these places that are ridiculously far away from each other, but he does get a decently large following as the years go by, so he considers it a win

and YES. I wanted to play around with Smokey meeting the kids at various points, so them bonding over tech and hacking is gonna be so much fun. Maybe he even teaches Raf the Cybertronian language, but under the guise it's some kind of code he made. So now on top of Raf already being a genius and gifted when it comes to tech, he's also had Smokescreen tutoring him for a couple years

(I'm also a sucker for the potential for holoforms, and maybe Smokescreen initially has one so he wouldn't be a driverless car but it gradually started getting more and more complex until he could use it to interact with people if he has to. Maybe this could be how he meets Jack and June?)

Also, I'll admit I'm currently playing around with the specifics of when he lands on Earth. Initially my idea was that he was only a couple years before canon...... but now I'm starting to think about the possibility of it being even more, say....... a couple decades :)

heck, Fowler might not even be his first minder. Who's to say he didn't have others before (maybe they just got old enough to retire, but if you want to go the angsty route they could be dead)

[feuqueerfire]

Love Class 2 Live Blogging

I actually wasn't going to do this, I already watched 3 eps and am in the middle of the 4th one but I guess I have more things to say than expected.

Ep 1 (Jan 26): Got confused by the sheer number of characters and also the pair at the beginning were just friends, not love interests, even though it initially seemed like it was lol

Ep 2 (Jan 26): The second couple is like whatever to me rn and the barely-there glimpse of the third couple is doing nothing for me but I'm sooo curious about the first couple. Lee Hyun mentioned they broke up, so that meant they dated? While the older (I'm assuming by 1-2 years) was tutoring him?

Also, loveeee the register switching like in ep 2 during their first convo, Hyun calling him seonsaengnim and using formal language but then getting frustrated and using yeah! and using informal (which Kim Ahn warns him to watch his tone). and also deiciding to go from ssnim to hyung on his own accord lol

Ep 3 (Jan 26): Bro I'm really into Lee Hyun and Kim Ahn fr.

Also, I didn't realize there were after-credit scenes, thought it was a preview for the next episode but it's actually Lee Hyun and Kim Ahn's original story! They really were tutor/student (even though Lee Hyun was like how can you be my tutor we're barely apart in age lol) but awooga love the umm dubious and illicit nature of the relationship (helped along by the fact that they're apparently barely apart in age since Lee Hyun is prlly 17-ish at the time while Kim Ahn's maybe 19? idk exact but if he left 2 years ago and now Lee Hyun is a freshman, Lee Hyun's age makes sense but dunno about Kim Ahn's)

The friendship between Maru-Minwu-Hyun is cute and how they're all affectionate toward Hyun despite him not being like part of their love interest romantic pair. like Minwu at the beginning of the show being cutesy with Hyun enough that I and others thoughts they were the couple and also Maru just crashing at Hyun's and sleeping in same bed w/o it becoming weird.

The reddit posts and the MDL comments make it seem as though most people preferred 2nd or 3rd couple over main couple, so I'm a bit apprehensive that they become weird or off-kilter as the show goes on?? I hope not because they're the only pair I care about rn (though I've warmed up to Maru and Minwu a bit more)

Ep 4 (Jan 26): The third couple is kinda funny but also irritating.

Why did Minwu just call Maru a slut in a mean way?

Bro who is this dude? Is he the one who jumped off the roof? And is following around Kim Ahn?

Bro what is wrong with Minwu fr? I can't believe Maru forgave him so easily already + even said he'll forgive even in the future because they're best friends. Now, Minwu is kissing a drunk, sleeping Maru? girl get it together

Ep 5 (Jan 26): plss the TA and older student slept together???

Oh yeah also this Marriage and Family class is so funny, it's really basically just going on dates with your partner lmfao The class in Bon Appetit was similar right? is this fr a class?

Ep 6 (Jan 26): plsss this girl apparently having a streak of liking gay guys. fell for another one this time: Minwu

this awkward friendship assignment T.T and Maru mentioning the rooftop, why didn't Hyun tell him beforehand! and the girl coming in with jagi

But also, we didn't get Hyun and Ahn sleeping at Hyun's place?

Oh, so Ahn and the friend-non-friend-stalker grew up together at an orphanage, mans is def doing some shaaaady stuff to earn money (actually I thought maybe he's a drug dealer or a pimp but maybe he himself is a sex worker), Ahn tried to make a move on the guy and I'm assuming that's after he and Hyun broke up but idk could be before since it seems like he's in first year uni?

The TA watching the student + his friend who likes gay guys on the swings and getting jealous and then preparing so hard when meeting him next lmao and it ending up really being for modelling for art students lmaoo yknow I'm getting into this couple more

oh, so it seems like Ahn confessed to his weird hyung -> hyung said no -> Ahn and Hyun aren't quite dating yet but hyung does see them hug. so I'm wondering if Ahn and Hyun will indeed actually date since time is tight? maybe they do for a week before Ahn disappears lol

Funny that in the on-air r/boyslove thread for ep 5+6, they keep mentioning the boom mic that wasn't edited out but I didn't notice at all lol

Ep 7 (Jan 26): Hyun getting called both a grown-up and a baby by Ahn hehe

Also love that usually Hyun's using formal but will slip in some banmal here and there, esp when repeating something he already said formally (last ep in front of Ahn's house: gayo -> ga. here hajima-yo and then hajima)

So did Hyun and Ahn actually date before or what? or did Hyun confess? because when Ahn shakes of Hyun's touching, it seems like familiarity from dating + shaking away because of breakup. but now Hyun's acting like he wants Ahn to not see him as a baby, but didn't he already see him as grown if they dated?

Not Maru following Sara and Minwu lol

okayyy Maru also finding the prof's extreme attention for the students strange, esp in a uni setting

Ep 8 (Jan 26): lol Maru's all this thinking and no thinking methods have made him finally decide to kiss Minwu. Although funny to do that while Minwu is supposed to have a gf. Loudass kissing sounds fr, had to mute rip been a while since I had to do that

Bro what is this fucking jackass Hyung up to fr like okay he indeed worked at a host club but under Kim Ahn's name + seduced Ahn's prof as well using his name like what... Idk how this is gonna get wrapped up in a satisfying way, so I wish it wasn't there at all

In certain cases, I feel like such intense relationships with terrible dynamics would have me eating it up but I don't care at all about Kim Ahn and this hyung's relationship unfortunately.

So is this the end of the hyung stalking whatever?

long frozen kiss between Ahn and Hyun but I forgive it lol

heh Maru beating up Minwu bc of the fake dating Sara behind the scene of Sara and the other guy (not Sungmin) talking loll

does Ahn mean sex also when he says they’ve already done everything?

hehe i think i saw this tiktok of hyun already knowing maru and minwu are dating

i def saw a tiktok of drunk hyun talking about how ahn is his bf

Ep 9 (Jan 27):

oh, so sex isn't included in the "we've done everything"

awooga, Hyun and Ahn are cute to meee

pls what's going on, coupling up Sara and the shit-but-reformed manager, the professor that Sungmin has beef w bc he thought he and Juhyuk had smth going on (but is his uncle) with another student or smth

plsss most anticlimactic funny confession scene for Juhyuk and Sungmin

From how people spoke about Ahn and Hyun's relationship, it sounded like they had 1 kiss in ep 10 and it was really bad but they have had like 2 close-lipped kisses and 1 hinting at sex (even though it wasn't shown at all). I find them fine tbh

I binged 8 eps yesterday but dunno why I'm kinda bored of ep 9, I've watched just this much over like 6 hours, just a couple mins at a time

hate the sound of kissing so bad

Obedient Juhyuk, oh okay :)

"I'll be a good boy" Juhyuk, oh okay O.O

Juhyuk and Sungmin scene is good I think but I'm skipping/typing this instead of watching lol

pls drunk Juhyuk funny as hell what's gong on

Ep 10 (Jan 27): There's something about this show where it feels like the cuts of the scenes should be faster? Or they should end sooner? Or conversations should happen faster?

Oh lol they teacher couple didn't know the other 2 couples were dating and those 2 couples didn't know the teacher couple was? lol

Did Sungmin whisper something sex related to Juhyuk? What's with that reaction

pls not the kissing photo, I did see the start of the tiktok of this scene but I don't think I fully watched it, I remember the hand grasp and maybe some clapping? Anyway, awkward because everything public is awkward for me but good for them ig

Overall:

I liked the main couple: a younger, insistent pursuer to an older, reluctant hyung who was also his tutor when the younger was in high school. I didn't find them to be boring or to be ruined because of the frozen kisses. I do wish the random stalker, weird hyung wasn't haunting them for so long though because the premise of this couple is so good. Also, Lee Hyun's face reminded me of NCT Chenle + TXT Yeonjun - he's an idol too BAE173 or smth.

I came around to the second and third couple even though if the show was longer or deeper, I might not have (ie. the random Minwu calling Maru a slut negatively and the miscommunication of Sungmin and Juhyuk might've been more offputting if they got more screentime or we didn't swiftly move on).

I was bored by the last 2 eps though, so ehhh

Rating: 6/10 - I think I've gotten kinder because it maybe should be 5.5?

[hannahbanana29]

Enha - When they're jealous Pt6

Put your hands together for Kim Sunoo!! Finally, we're onto the Maknae line for this lil series ... I suppose it's a series, yea. So, I hope you're all doing great, requests are open 👀 lechugo

KIM SUNOO

Ddeonu... 💭💭💭

Sunoo to me seems like the kind to get jealous, sure, but only when there's acc a bit of a reason to be

In other words, when YOU ASK FOR IT

😡 Why are you doing this to him, y/n??

Doesn't matter. He knows he'll win back your attention in five seconds

He hands Jake a timer and tries to beat his best 😭

That's another thing that comes to mind about jealous!sunoo... I think he knows he's not gonna lose you, especially to someone like your friend ✨Brayden✨

But still!!! You're his s/o meaning that your attention is also his

Or it's supposed to be, anyway... 🙄

Let me paint you a picture, 🎨

You and Sunoo like being productive together

It lets him know that you two bring out the best in each other... Also the most jealous versions in each other

So you two were cleaning the dorm because it was therapeutic 😌, and it was doing something nice for the members while also spending time together

Which was the whole point 👿

You get a call on your phone 📱and Sunoo's eyebrows raise but he just keeps on cleaning while you excuse yourself

He can admit with an honest heart that it annoys him already, because you two were trying to spend time together and

And

And

This happens. 😔

But he can bare with it, because it could be your mum for all he knows and it may be of importance

He listens to you as you talk on the phone with it pressed against your ear, hearing what the convo is about and why it's worth interrupting your time together 😐

You say "oh hey, ✨Brayden✨, how are you?"

Sunoo finds that hilarious, because

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHSHSHSH

Because who the fuck is ✨Brayden✨ (🎶is he the other girl? I bet he's dying to date ya, and be your entire -🎶)

And why is he this significant? Why is he worth replying to when you're already talking to your wonderful, adorable, caring, handsome, gorgeous, helpful, idol boyfie?????

Just doesn't make sense 😒

Sunoo is pursing his lips with sass, but keeps quiet as he continues to fold blankets (idk, I never clean shit, so)

When you put the phone down, he doesn't look up at you but waits for you to talk to him first

Yes he loves winning over your undivided attention, but he also wanted to be petty for a moment before diving into it

"Sorry, Sun..." you say sheepishly, putting your phone into your little handbag as if you're... About to go somewhere?

He looks up "What, jagi? Who was that?"

You grimace, but don't stop packing your essentials into your bag

"That was my friend ✨Brayden✨. He's asking me to help decorate his house - he's just moved into the area, and I did promise to help out. Don't continue doing this stuff, I'll do it with you when I get back, it's not fair for you to do it by yourself."

CUTENESS ACTIVATED 👊

"Then... Why don't you just stay, yeobo?"

He clutches into the fluffy blanket with big eyes. Bonus points if the blanket is cute and pink

You tilt your head in slightly frustration, bc this makes you feel even more guilty, but it would be worse to just not help your friend after you offered, surely 🤷‍♀️

"Sorry babe. I'll be as quick as I can - he wants some help with painting the guest bedroom for today, so it shouldn't take long."

"But any time without you feels like forever" He whines, knowing his aegyo beats the cringe he's exerting 🥺

"I know, but I have to leave. Just chill out for a while"

You try to make it sound breezy, hoping to influence him into not thinking it would take long

But that only pushes him further, when you begin to head for the door

This time he follows you like a lost puppy

"But jagiiiii"

His arms interlock around your torso to stop you from catching the door, and he mumbles small sweet nothings to convince you to stay with him

Ngl, very light guilt tripping involved, but we all do that

He rocks you both around, and makes sure your attention is on him when he waddles you both back to the bedroom

"The members will be back soon. Do you want to make them happy, or Nathan?"

"It's ✨Bra-"

"I know."

The little sass is seeping out, and he covers up the snarkiness and disrespect towards your friend by planting little fluttery kisses on your arms

"Pleeeeease. I can't stay here without you. I miss having you near me."

You find it Lowkey cute but in an irritating way ❤️ boyfriend Sunoo needs attention, and you aren't opposed to giving it to him

"Aw, you're so dramatic. But what about-"

"✨Brayden✨ has two arms, he can do it himself,, babe. Don't make his problems your own."

You both end up watching Frozen 1 and 2 in the unfinished bedroom, cuddled up in that fluffy blanket that was never folded properly 😔

That's right. The main character is the blanket.

And so the pink, cutesy blanket was never truly folded. The end. 😢

Aaaaaand there it is. THE MAKNAE LINE BEGINS 😎 featuring fluffy, pink, cute blanket. Hope that was okay, I was doing this whole being distracted by my lil sister 😑😑😑 you can probably tell. Anyways, like I said, req are open and I hope y'all enjoy

Bye bye <3

[lunova-rambles]

Secret Invasion Agent Ross ‘Theories’

I just want to organize my essay-length thoughts lol, so here’s a list of all the possibilities about Agent Ross’s appearance in Secret Invasion since I love the connections in the MCU!! So let’s discuss the cold open with Martin Freeman! Also disclaimer I haven’t read the comics so this is only going off of what we see in the show

!! HEAVY SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT !! +Wakanda Forever spoilers since it’s Ross

CONTEXT

Ross was arrested at the end of Wakanda Forever by Countess Valentina but then was (illegally) freed by Okoye. It’s pretty clear that Ross from WF isn’t a skrull since he helps Wakanda (why would he commit treason if he’s a skrull trying to infiltrate the CIA?), so there are 4 branches of possibilities for Real Ross after he’s freed:

Ross was taken to Wakanda and is staying there since he’s hiding from CIA (possible, but Wakanda wouldn’t want him there for legal reasons)

Ross is straight up dead (unlikely from a meta standpoint since he’s the token white guy for the Black Panther storyline but Maria just died so who knows)

Ross is on the run but not staying in Wakanda (obvious answer)

Ross was pardoned by the President or bailed out so he could work with S.A.B.E.R. or the CIA again

Ross was on the run but soon captured by skrulls and then Skrull-Ross was pardoned/bailed due to skrull infiltration of the government

It’s also possible that the skrull took Ross’s appearance/mind after meeting him once and just didn’t use it until later, so the part we don’t know is if Real Ross is still in hiding somewhere or if he’s captured by skrulls. And obviously there are like 6 shows/films between WF and this show, so multiple things could’ve happened too—anyway let’s move on to Skrull-Ross!!

EPISODE 1

Here’s what happens during the first episode:

Skrull-Ross meets with Agent Prescod* and they mention Fury being in space

Skrull-Ross calls for an extraction

Talos (in disguise) starts chasing Skrull-Ross

Maria Hill sees “Agent Ross” pop up on her monitor

Hill drives over and tries to protect who she thinks is Ross and is surprised that Talos is there

(After the cold open and Fury returning to Earth) Rhodey and the President discuss “Agent Fury,” “Agent Hill,” and “S.A.B.E.R.”

(*it says on the MCU wiki that Prescod was CIA which would explain how they know each other, though idk if CIA specifically was ever confirmed)

SO just by using inferential reasoning, here’s what each of those things tells us:

The identity of “Agent Ross” is at least assumed to be in contact with Fury or S.A.B.E.R. (But we don’t hear their whole convo so Skrull-Ross could just be lying)

Skrull-Ross has been working with Hill and/or an organization for long enough to have some communication

Talos already knows Skrull-Ross is a skrull, so he likely knows that Real Ross was captured or followed Skrull-Ross to Prescod

More evidence that “Agent Ross” isn’t a criminal right now since he has a tracker with “agent” on it

Hill is not aware that Skrull-Ross is a skrull (they also could’ve met for the first time for this mission though, which is likely since they never mention Real Ross after finding out)

Fury and Hill are confirmed to be working with the American government to some degree, which just further implies that “Agent Ross” probably isn’t considered a criminal anymore since Maria had no reason to turn him in or believe he was a skrull

Anyway those are my thoughts on Ross LOL, I’m probably not correct but I do like breaking down scenes

[knowlessman]

bnha I guess then? ep 5-7

ohey isn't that the tumbly sexlerguy of this show? with the scarf and the 5 o'clock? actually idk if he was in the poll or if drawfee just talked about him before, but he looks like one to me.

huh. he's got his shirt tucked in and all. not planning on hulking out tonight I guess. -- come to think of it tho, there hasn't been any talk so far of whether this "inheriting" of the Quirk is going to mean that All Might loses his power. -- …okay I guess this is him saying that here?

…"Itadakimasu" is translated as "I'm off!" here. I think I'm gonna have to accept that I'm never gonna know the full meaning of that one unless I put my entire ass into learning what's probably one of the harder languages to try to learn when starting from English. 'XD I should content myself with knowing about "natsukashiku."

This fucking guy again

This other fucking guy tho, Ida (Iida? Maybe the subs just misspelled it that time? idk). Cautiously starting to like him. Bit annoying, but annoying about being a decent guy.

it's the sexlerman doing his Kakuna cosplay. Forgot he did that. Maybe he's literally just Stein but less uncomfortable to watch, that'd be fun. -- Aizawa. When do we learn pink girl's name tho? The opening flashes the names by too fast.

ZUKO. IT'S ZUKO. HI ZUKO. Hope he gets some lines soon. -- literally googles just to check that he isn't voiced by dante basco bc that might be the only thing that would actually get me to watch a dub (I just like to read shows and not have to follow verbal convo I'm not here to argue about it) -- also Froppy (?) and birdman and that one guy who by reputation needs as few lines as possible and, uh, acid girl I think? and invisible girl. and, y'know, the rest

sounds like shithead's (not The Bad Shithead, the bad shithead we already know) VA is having fun, at least. sounds fucking terrifying

…eraser what. …am I not gonna wanna like this guy? I know just enough about what eraser head (the movie) is to know I don't wanna know any more about it -- pretty sure he's bullshitting about expulsion. unless it's gonna be laser navel here who gets expelled, cuz I've never seen nuffin about him before -- stg give this man a bucket hat and clogs and poof he's from a different show -- …gawd I hope nothing tempts me to continue bleach, I haven't heard anything good about the bits past that filler even tho it's aesthetically so much more my jam

Uraraka. …I read the entire Bionicle book series as a kid, I should be able to remember that just fine. … ':|

can't get the image of saitama with his head stuck in the ceiling out of his head

…ayup. no notes. next one.

"the person with the lowest total score will be expelled" meanwhile I don't think being fucking invisible makes you run any faster or throw any harder. the fuck's No-Hat-No-Clogs on about? -- absolute dickweed. also how in fuck did invisible girl beat deku? cheating? is she even able to make her clothes invisible, or is it a Violet Parr situation where it has to be a specific material?

I mean tbf you haven't tried powering up one toe at a time yet. running/skipping that way might look stupid as hell but it's better than blondie over there

"I'M DEKU!!!" 'XD -- I also love the exaggerated reaction shots in this, they're very good -- copernican…? googles nerd.

how I've never seen a gif of "I'M… COMING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!" I'll never know

these oughta be good

okay this is cute -- facepalm nobody told me deku was a furry

…well that's conve - huh. Iida being the teammate will be interesting. (also is it gonna turn out that they're lying about it being randomized now? because this is some astonishing coincidence) -- interesting that they're literally playing rainbow six siege tho

awfully metallic for paper mache

…that's… huh. powerful moment for bakugo to just throw away like he's going to

aye, next one

haha kid bakugo walks like a rugrats character

why is zuko half-covered in ice for no reason? is that sposed to be his costume?

heh. he's not Saitama or Rock Lee. He's Karate Kid. (I saw like one or two episodes of Legion of Superheroes) His superpower is knowing what it's like to not have a Quirk. -- "I need a plan." runs off ah, yes. more time for thinking. hope he stops being relatable soon and actually comes up with a plan, tho. -- you don't need to beat Bakugo if you can get him lost tho. …maybe I'm underestimating him but I would be surprised if he bothered to memorize the layout worth a damn. -- I swear his VA is channeling a lot of mob boss for a high schooler 'XD

…Iida you're being weird. for the love of fuck please don't tell me you're gonna start listening to mr bonaparte up there

"he's just standing there… cackling like an idiot"

huh. we did learn why he's got bigass grenades on his hands. -- sidenote: …when I was a kid I wrote up superpowers that my stuffed animals had. one of them was literally this. …I gotta get myself to fucking write more. (didn't write any actual stories, tho. also obv I didn't think of the gun bit) -- and that's how deku got his costume

aye. good shit. gonna stop for tonight

[whatsaudreythinkingabout]

ok ik i reblogged this already but now that i saw THIS add-on i’m rb’ing this again bc it makes smth that happened to me recently make a LOT more sense. and this happened to me as an adult.

obvious TW for abuse but anyways audrey lore time:

so for those of you who don’t know me well enough, i’m autistic & still live w my mom & stepdad; bc of a lot of personal biz that happened in high school it wasn’t until late last year that i finally got a job & a driver’s license & whatnot. and living with them as a disabled adult has been. interesting! to say the least. i love them. but it’s complicated. yk how it is

anyway, this also happened last year, but a few months before i got the job, license, etc. my mom, my stepdad, my mom’s friend & i were all working on a puzzle together. i reached over to grab some pieces but ig my stepdad was upset that i was getting in his space bc he started repeatedly smacking my hand. hard. like, it actually hurt. i left the table after that, but later on i walked in on them having a conversation. i won’t go into specifics but it was basically one of those “oh x used to be called y but you can’t say that anymore bc of woke” and “y” in this equation is an actual slur. and ofc i was like “yo wtf that’s racist you can’t say that” & it just started another argument until he left.

& then my mom told me abt how earlier she had lectured him about putting his hands on me & threatened that if he ever did it again she would “whip him with a big black belt & send him running down the street screaming.” which i thought was kind of funny. but then she gave me the whole “oh he’s from a different generation blah blah blah” shpiel & told me that if i “disrespected him in his own house” like that again she’d do the same thing to me. & immediately followed it up by saying i could “run to my friends’ house if [i] wanted” as if me seeking safety in this hypothetical was something to mock. like how when bullies taunt their victims by asking if they’re gonna “run home to their mommy” but yknow. inverted

and then at the end of that convo i started crying & said smth along the lines of “you were just joking, right? you’re not actually gonna do that?” (bc once again, i’m autistic & normally i can understand jokes & sarcasm just fine but when it’s smth that activates the fight-or-flight response then it gets a lil harder to distinguish). & ofc she immediately switched up & was like “oh no honey of COURSE i wouldn’t, i was just trying to make a point :)” but when i told her please don’t say things like that anymore bc it makes me uncomfortable she said she couldn’t bc it’s just part of who she is

bc the thing is. my mom used to hit me when i was very young. but what makes it complicated is that it wasn’t like…well, whipping me with a big black belt & sending me running down the street screaming. it was “just a swat,” as she calls it. which she justifies as “oh i only did it when i thought you were gonna get hurt bc i was SCARED” oh so you hurt me bc i thought i was gonna get hurt. & once she stopped doing that she resorted to making empty threats of hurting me; and i was never sure what to do, bc it meant either she WAS going to hurt me if she didn’t do what i wanted, or she had no intention & was just saying it bc she knew it would scare me (or “to make a point”) and honestly idk what’s worse.

and the thing is it’s only been over the past year or so (& thanks to some very dear friends, if you’re reading this you know who you are) that i’ve realized a lot of how she’s treated me isn’t normal bc i’ve repeatedly fallen into the trap of “oh it wasn’t that bad, other ppl have had it worse so what do i have to complain about???” bc not to air out my mom’s dirty laundry but she did come from an extremely abusive & dysfunctional family & while she’s working on healing those wounds (& good for her for doing so) a lot of that generational trauma unfortunately got passed onto me. & i feel like she also justifies it as “oh what i had to go through was worse so you should be grateful i’m not doing that to you.” and whenever i show objection she acts like i’m playing the victim & i WANT to paint her as the bad guy. but i don’t! i want to have a good relationship with her! i do genuinely get along with her sometimes! & it’s in those moments i think it’s finally getting better but then we get sent back to square one again! & it’s so confusing when she wants me to see her as a friend (re: so she can vent about her own trauma to me bc i’m really her only close female friend) when i’ve known her as an authority figure my whole life & the lines are getting blurred when they shouldn’t!

my mom wants me to feel safe around her. i want to feel safe around her. but how can i? if i bring up smth she does that bothers me, she lectures me for two hours about how it’s actually my fault. if i cry, i’m emotionally manipulating her. if i even act afraid around her bc i think she’s gonna get mad at me for smth, she gets mad at me for being scared she’s gonna get mad. she says she would never hurt me. but truthfully? i don’t believe her. she’s done it before, how can i be sure she won’t do it again if i push her too far?

and how this loops back to the above reblog is that i’ve seen how she is when someone ELSE hurts me (see the earlier paragraph about my stepdad). she takes pride in how protective she is over me. as soon as it’s someone else, she goes into mama bear mode. but it also goes to the point of paranoia; tracking my phone, making me aware of every possible danger, beyond the usual stereotypical overprotectiveness a mother would show. and i can excuse some of it as a trauma response, but at the same time i’m 23 years old. i’m not a baby anymore, even if she still sees me as one. i feel safer in the outside world than i do my own home sometimes. but that’s just the thing. no one’s allowed to hurt me but her. everything’s a contradiction. she wants me to feel like this is my home and i’m welcome here, but also it’s HER home and i just live in it (re: that one quote from carmen maria machado’s in the dream house). for that reason she wants me to move out & be independent & she’s proud of me for taking those steps, but she still wants to control everything else. any time i try to tell her i struggle with smth bc of my autism, it’s an excuse, but whenever i try to call her out on smth she’s all too ready to blame it on her trauma. she always makes sure to stress how much she loves me and supports me and is proud of me every day, but is what she does out of love, or ownership? i genuinely don’t know anymore.

ever since realizing all of this, a song that’s been popping up on repeat every so often for me is “christmas kids” by roar. it’s become one of my favorites; though in-context it’s about the true story of a woman escaping her abusive husband, out of context it feels all too familiar:

you’ll change your name, or change your mind, and leave this fucked-up place behind…but i’ll know.

_________________________________________________

(a/n: this turned out a LOT longer than i expected & this isn’t even all of what i’ve experienced, this is just from one incident, but anyways if you’re reading this & can relate just know that i love you & you’re not alone)

I think the hardest part about addressing child abuse is getting people to acknowledge, not just intellectually but actually responding accordingly, is that the biggest threat to children, the biggest risk of abuse, is family and parents.

it is of course most often parents who are crowing about needing to protect children (often against far smaller threats than family), and pointing out that they are, statistically, the biggest threat to their kids is not gonna be received well.

[bbybrahms]

Coming out to tell the story of the Repo! Zine from discord. Idk if there are multiple Repo! servers so to be clear this is all from the server titled 'TESTIFY', since I don't want any other servers reps getting tarnished by this cus I'm sure they're doing a better job than whatever this is.

Maybe it's a case of ESH but I can't clear up anything in the server and already stuffs being said about me, so I'm posting here.

From the start the organisation of the zine was messy. It's a passion project on discord so I really don't expect perfectly organised perfection, but it was red flags from day one.

Firstly, before anything started, we were led to believe that it was going to charity, specifically a palestinian charity. For me, that was a leading motivator in applying. Although iirc one person argued against it being palestinian (suspicious), there were ppl looking at different charities and essentially it was very heavily implied by the end that would be what we're doing. Except this was never brought up again.

The lack of communication was astounding. Contributors weren't outwardly informed their application was successful, a channel was just silently made and roles silently given. It took weeks to get info on the dimensions/format/deadline etc. (the deadline was given 2 WEEKS before any info on filetypes and colour profiles etc) and a lot of the time it would be organisers going "idk I'll ask this person" "idk wait for that person to respond" just no respect for the creatives they'd gotten involved. Zero communication. Told us next to nothing for Weeks.

At this point, I wasn't seeing these as red flags I just waited for the info I needed then got on with it.

I submit my piece a few days early, then when the deadline comes I'm curious what the other contributors did so took a nosy peak in the folder (idk if this is frowned upon or not I just wanted to see others art and mine was in the same folder so I think it's ok?) But there's like 1/4 of the amount there should be in there and this is a small project to begin with. So I follow up and get told the deadlines actually moved (was this decided privately or could they just not be bothered to chase up late submissions? Idk?)

The deadline gets moved 4 times total - a lot of the time after the deadlines been, like they'd message day after for example like "btw deadlines moved". This drags the project out months more than it originally was meant to be. The creatives who submitted on time are told nothing, they just have to wait what will happen to their art.

A final deadline finally happens. They say it's final, everyone agrees. Many people have dropped out at this point and frankly I should have done the same, but since I had already submitted I didn't really see the point in calling quits so late.

After the deadlines been, there's no word. So a little while later (iirc just under a month but don't quote me on this), I chase up again about how we haven't heard anything. I get told the zines still on, the deadlines closed, things are in the works. This was early July.

In early August, someone else follows up and ask if the zine is still on and if they should post the work they made for their submission on their own. OVER A MONTH LATER(mid September), they are told they can post their work if they so please. In this same convo, a mod comes in to say they'll probably get started that week - and then ask what file type we're doing. The deadline was in June. The disrespect to the people who put hours of work into a submission for a fandom they obviously care deeply about. Not only is it months before anyone is told what's being done with their work, not only is getting a response like pulling teeth, the people organising reveal they've only just given a single thought to how they're actually going to put it together. I see this and while I don't really care about whether or not my submission makes it into the zine, I feel so bad for the other contributors who showed so much interest and enthusiasm for this project.

So first day of October (last we heard was in mid-September, deadline was end of June, whole thing began in April where the original deadline was 6 weeks), I'm like "whatever, I'm over this zine, I'll take the L and whatever discord mod wrath this server has to offer, and point out how poorly they're treating their contributors." So I tell them straightforward that the zine has been a mess from day one and that their lack of communication is disrespectful and rude, not responding for over a month is just lazy and again rude.

I'll just post what I said:

(I use light mode because I can't read light text on a dark background easily, so no one needs to go 'haha lightmode')

I absolutely stand by every word btw. The zine was a joke. The lack of respect for the creatives was just so bad, the lack of communication, the lack of organisation. All of it.

I get this in response:

one mod says "contact me if you want your piece removed" and the other mod says "if you contact anyone I'll report you for harassment"

Anyway... yeah. I get told I'M the one being disrespectful, they don't bother remembering I was the one who checked in TWICE (guess I'm forgettable that way), I get called disgraceful, embarrassing and told I should never work professionally at all?? and that I'm a disgrace to the art community. And that I'm overreacting. Haha ok.

I'd also like to bring back how we were all lead to believe this would be for charity. And suddenly it's no ones priority? Were the mods never intending to actually follow through with the charity thing or did they just forget completely since it was six months ago this was decided? Ig if anyone would be interested in buying a Repo! zine just donate to Palestine instead. Safer that way.

As you can see in the screenshots, I got timed out🫶 I can't respond to any of this and basically have to just let them lie about me never checking in and being a rude and horrible disgrace out of nowhere, also implying I don't have my own stuff going on which is Bold to say the least.

Seeing as this was the first time anyone got a response on the same day, I hope at least I helped the other contributors by spiting the mods into action? Idk? Regardless, I'd say I dodged a bullet and the mods showed their true colours. I don't want my submission used but if I contact anyone I'm getting reported (to who??) for harassment (it was one message) so I just removed my submission from the folder and hope no copies were made🤞

If anyone in the server sees this: I stand by what I said, please don't include my work, and see you round ig✌️

I don't think I'll join another Repo! server, I love Repo! it's a huge passion of mine, I'll continue making art for it when I feel like, but yeah. That's my experience in the 'TESTIFY' server. It kinda sucked.