#idk man im just sad.
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babe, wake up, new white guy just dropped
#ik im like 23 million years late to drawing this guy. everyones probably over him alr 💀#but idk i see bloody man i draw im just that simple#i have 0 knowledge about him apart from the fact that he gives off this pathetic sad wet cat vibes#milkman#thats not my neighbor#thats not my neighbour milkman#francis mosses#my art#WAIT I FORGOR THE TWS#tw blood
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how crazy would it be if i became a biology lab instructor. would that be crazy or what
#what am i doing? idk man#i saw a listing and it excites me. like teaching entry bio lab at a college. could you imagine#the college freshmen would be on their phones like idk what this guy is going on about but he seems pretty fired up about this#not much i can do about that but i for one would be having a good time#i finished my emt class and i only have to take one more test until im licensed#and then i can work as one or just volunteer and do plants as my job. which like. plants as my job is ideal i think#i think that is what i have learned i am so so so sad without plants#but an emt job could get me out of here right now at this very moment which is appealing#because otherwise my ass is going to put it off
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS
#THERES LIKE. BARELY ANY.#IF I GET LUCKY ILL SEE AN ACE HEADCANON#BUT VERY RARELY DO I SEE ARO HEADCANONS#SOBBING#stiff talk#my favorite thing is thinking about how many characters i see as aromantic but then i go to the fandom tag or to that characters tag and#everyone is shipping them and theres like 2 posts total about that character being ace and 1 post about them being aroace#man im just a bit sad about all this dont mind me#yea yea i know the whole “if you wanna see something make it yourself” thing but see heres the thing: im tired#i just wanna be able to go through a tag and see people share similar ideas and headcanons without me having to make all the work myself#and i bet theres plenty other people who feel the same#and even if there is a character thats like. somewhat aroace coded in some way people still find a way to go “but then they fall in love”#and like yea have fun or whatever but i just idk it just feels very lonely sometimes yknow#miss the times when i didnt think about this so much#cuz now that im older and know that IM aspec its like. oh. i wanna see more characters like me! but theres like basically none#SORRY FOR THE RANT LMFAO#ignore this im just feeling silly
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Each petals holds memories, memories you hold so dearly.
#yo lowkey i was just lazy to draw clothes#And why did i make him so bedazzled.. i like it tho#i wish to see him look vulnerable#IM NOT WEIRD HE JUST SO IDK SAD EEPY OLD MAN THAT I WANNA HUG#return of the blossoming blade#return of the mount hua sect#rotmhs#rotbb#chung myung#cheong myeong
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i’ve always wondered what worst logan thinks of main logan. is he jealous at all of how revered he was? i mean what do you even think of the guy that’s considered the “best version” of you when you’re seen as the worst.
#no one could possibly be okay after hearing that they’re the worst in all of the multiverse#i mean that fc kn hurts#theres a part of me thats like god im so proud of my og baby main foxverse logan being so loved#literally the TVA watch LOGAN 2017 in tears#they respect that man so much#but but also my number one boy WORSTIE LOGAN#aka best logan (in my heart and wades)#i just im so attached to him specifically#because hes just so sad and lonely and god#he doesnt think he deserves love#but but he very much does because HES A GOOD MAN#despite everything he fought sooooo hard to prove to himself and everyone else that he could be the man that charles always thought he was#dude literally cares so much. he was willing to die just to help this guy he met about three days ago#idk im just saying stuff#anyway hes sweet and he loves hard#and hes made mistakes yes bad mistakes but hes trying his hardest to make up for those#logan howlett#james logan howlett#worst wolverine#james howlett#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool 3#hugh jackman#poolverine
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It's rough to be a sleepy bois inc enjoyer these days.
#sbi#sleepy bois inc#tommyinnit#technoblade#wilbur soot#philza mcyt#dream smp#dsmp#wilbur soot drama#i just want to read my fics without being SAD#its literally never gonna be the same again and im so sad#one of them is dead and one of them is... wilbur#like#idk man#at least i still have c!sleepy bois inc
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(scrapped painting)
its kinda fascinating how you can draw something well and instead of learning from it for the next drawing you repeat the same old mistakes that kept you from improving in the first place
(was supposed to the next scene after the previous good painting lol)
its a rly early sketch (i know it wont work out though, too much wrong) but Zaphira (standing) was winning the fight against the guy that challenged her (he also cheated and attacked her weak leg with a dagger despite it being a fist fight) so he ordered the soldiers he hid in the audience to shoot, Shargon is catching the arrows in the air before they can reach her and she trusts him enough to not even react to it
#ganondoodles#art#i guess#man .....#the scene itself is rly cool but i dont think it comes across here lol#im not even angry anymore#im just sad that i wasted almost 3 hours on this .... i redid the sketch alot too#even though i should KNOW i cant paint something if i got a sketch for it#i didnt do a sketch for the last one and it worked!!#and now im up an hours too long too#it feels embarassing to post even#i probably shouldnt even have saved it#its way more difficult too#i should just leave it be and move on bc im clearly not ready to draw it yet#its just hard to ignore that ... idk .. eagerness to please? as in ppl were interested in the previous one#so i wanted to show more of that scene#but i might have just ruined the mystery or something#anyway my blinking is like seconds long i need sleep
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No greater horror than going to reread one of your favourite fics only to realize it was fucking deleted.
BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU SAVED IT ALL A WHILE BACK AND FIND THE SAVED COPY
So now Im just staring at the fucking PDF file of the fic, absolutely flabbergasted and shocked. This is it. This is the only way I'll ever be able to read it now. Holy shit 😭
The author deleted their entire accout too, so I guess they just wanted to get rid of everything. Which, I mean, is fine, it is their work after all. They can do whatever they want with it.
BUT MAN, Im gonna be saving stuff all the time from now on.
#I have NEVER experienced this before#sure some fics I liked in the past got deleted and I was sad about it#but having a copy of it saved????#this is a whole new level of emotions#what the hell#you bet your ass Im gonna go and save SO MANY fics now after this#had to come here and rant cause Im feeling things rn#like Im so sad they deleted it but I have a copy so Im good??#but its still evoking this somberness???#idk man I wasn't expecting this#Im just gonna go read this smut fic now LMAO#ahhh but I just realized there was ANOTHER fic by this author I really liked... and I dont have it saved ☹#FUCK#really learning the hard way today#save your faves everybody!#you never know...#random post
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i'm not blaming anyone because there's literally no way you could know but whenever people say "i'm shocked you aren't already a fan of/aware of this pop culture thing" it always makes me a bit sad because. yeah i guess i probably would have been if i'd been allowed to have interests and casual hobbies that weren't constantly scrutinized and only deemed acceptable if they contributed towards my future academic development as a kid. maybe if i'd been allowed to use a computer or phone without my parents constantly breathing down my neck about what i was using them for and punishing me and further restricting my access to the internet if they caught me seeking out any kind of social or recreational interaction there that wasn't pre-approved and regularly checked to ensure i wasn't saying or doing anything that didn't suit their traditional conservative nuclear family sensibilities (or just, like, having fun in a way they couldn't understand tbh). maybe i would have been able to just like. enjoy things. maybe i would have had friends.
#🐉#like. idk. i used to be proud as a kid that i didnt know any of the popular youtubers my peers watched regularly or whatever.#now im just like. man i really wasnt allowed to like anything just for fun huh.#i wasnt even allowed to watch cartoons as a kid because my parents thought they were pointless brain rotting trash that would#encourage me to sit on my ass and stare at a screen. i had to ask permission to watch tv for a period of time they chose and kept score of.#idk man im just sad
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I really adore when Jonathan is shown to have some nuggets of humanity. I love when despite how twisted he can be, there is still some vague goodness inside him. Like how he would love to return to academia in Batman Adventures. I love that complexity and I wish newer iterations would explore it more. I like the duality of Jonathan fighting between that and his love of fear. I would love to see him in more vulnerable states as he clearly hasn’t gotten over his childhood. I wanna see that man cry, although he’d probably try not to.
he is a pathetic, sad little man at his very core, struggling at all times.
#jonathan crane#batman#dc scarecrow#idk if its an unpopular opinion but#i love seeing his humanity explored. i love when he isnt just scarecrow#i love headcanons where despite everything he still has jon left in him#i like when he isnt just a complete sadistic monster#even new 52 did this sometimes and i appreciate that#i love villains with depth and conflicting feelings and morals#i even love when jon has a bit of softness to him#blorbo tag#im sorry for the long tags i just. love him so much#he is such a strange sad little man#dc comics#batman rogues
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House's tendency to rationalize feelings away and being frustrated at himself for still feeling them. It's hurting me 😢
At the end of 05x04 Birthmarks he did a paternity test... And even after it turned out that John wasnt his father, he was still drinking his whiskey, because it didn't mean anything that John wasn't his biological father, because things are still the same.
He's still sad, he's still depressed. The dipshit of a man passing still made him sad. And the thought that he can't even rationalize it away as hatred upsets him. And so he drinks.
And to that Wilson said no one can choose their parents... Because House rejects John as his paternal figure and yet deep inside, House still called him his dad.
#i think everything he said at John's eulogy was real. he meant every word#of course if his mother wasnt there he would be a lot meaner#but he meant it.#house pushes people away because hes scared of being hurt#hes an asshole because nobody connects with an asshole and thus everyone is at arms length at best#and yet when people leave him he still mourns#his ducklings from season 3#wilson in season 5#and even that dipshit of a man john house#and idk its. it makes me sad#it just doesnt have to be this way#i want him to chase happiness and i want him to be happy#instead he just refuses it because happiness is associated with pain#because everyone leaves him in the end#im so sad#house md#gregory house#greg house#doctor house#not to say that people cant reject their parents and feel no remorse for their death#its just that house... that sensitive man#that depressed fearful man#he cant do that. because deep down he craves that connection#he wishes his father were better. he wishes he was the man his father wanted him to be#which makes it even more painful to observe
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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dont understand why aro headcanons arent more popular cuz its so interesting to me thinking about how a persons relationships would change.
this canon romance? imagine if one of them didnt feel the same way but they still deeply cared about them. imagine if they struggled to find words for how theyre feeling, imagine how theyd think about their relationship and imagine how theyd struggle trying to figure out how they feel about the person.
theres so much stuff to explore wish ppl actually thought about this stuff more </3
#stiff talk#sry im just kinda sad rn skdjfhs#not over anything in particular#just like. sad in general i guess#idk man i love seeing peoples headcanons and fics and art in general#but then when it never includes anyone like you it gets kinda sad#theres so many characters i can think of that would be so fun to explore as aromantic but barely anyone ever does so#and if they do most people just ignore it anyway cuz “where shipping >:(”#(no hate towards shippers i love shipping just as muc has the next person i just wish it wasnt the only thing people cared about)
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yknow what though shoutout to matt for not making darryl homophobic like with his whole thing it would've been so easy but he didn't and i do appreciate it
#dndads#im in a funk n sad n tired and i am thinking about how grant felt entirely safe telling his dad that he likes a boy#im .........#idk man i just spent like half an hour in the shadow realm
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