#idk man im just sad.
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babe, wake up, new white guy just dropped
#ik im like 23 million years late to drawing this guy. everyones probably over him alr 💀#but idk i see bloody man i draw im just that simple#i have 0 knowledge about him apart from the fact that he gives off this pathetic sad wet cat vibes#milkman#thats not my neighbor#thats not my neighbour milkman#francis mosses#my art#WAIT I FORGOR THE TWS#tw blood
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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Each petals holds memories, memories you hold so dearly.
#yo lowkey i was just lazy to draw clothes#And why did i make him so bedazzled.. i like it tho#i wish to see him look vulnerable#IM NOT WEIRD HE JUST SO IDK SAD EEPY OLD MAN THAT I WANNA HUG#return of the blossoming blade#return of the mount hua sect#rotmhs#rotbb#chung myung#cheong myeong
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i’ve always wondered what worst logan thinks of main logan. is he jealous at all of how revered he was? i mean what do you even think of the guy that’s considered the “best version” of you when you’re seen as the worst.
#no one could possibly be okay after hearing that they’re the worst in all of the multiverse#i mean that fc kn hurts#theres a part of me thats like god im so proud of my og baby main foxverse logan being so loved#literally the TVA watch LOGAN 2017 in tears#they respect that man so much#but but also my number one boy WORSTIE LOGAN#aka best logan (in my heart and wades)#i just im so attached to him specifically#because hes just so sad and lonely and god#he doesnt think he deserves love#but but he very much does because HES A GOOD MAN#despite everything he fought sooooo hard to prove to himself and everyone else that he could be the man that charles always thought he was#dude literally cares so much. he was willing to die just to help this guy he met about three days ago#idk im just saying stuff#anyway hes sweet and he loves hard#and hes made mistakes yes bad mistakes but hes trying his hardest to make up for those#logan howlett#james logan howlett#worst wolverine#james howlett#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool 3#hugh jackman#poolverine
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It's rough to be a sleepy bois inc enjoyer these days.
#sbi#sleepy bois inc#tommyinnit#technoblade#wilbur soot#philza mcyt#dream smp#dsmp#wilbur soot drama#i just want to read my fics without being SAD#its literally never gonna be the same again and im so sad#one of them is dead and one of them is... wilbur#like#idk man#at least i still have c!sleepy bois inc
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(scrapped painting)
its kinda fascinating how you can draw something well and instead of learning from it for the next drawing you repeat the same old mistakes that kept you from improving in the first place
(was supposed to the next scene after the previous good painting lol)
its a rly early sketch (i know it wont work out though, too much wrong) but Zaphira (standing) was winning the fight against the guy that challenged her (he also cheated and attacked her weak leg with a dagger despite it being a fist fight) so he ordered the soldiers he hid in the audience to shoot, Shargon is catching the arrows in the air before they can reach her and she trusts him enough to not even react to it
#ganondoodles#art#i guess#man .....#the scene itself is rly cool but i dont think it comes across here lol#im not even angry anymore#im just sad that i wasted almost 3 hours on this .... i redid the sketch alot too#even though i should KNOW i cant paint something if i got a sketch for it#i didnt do a sketch for the last one and it worked!!#and now im up an hours too long too#it feels embarassing to post even#i probably shouldnt even have saved it#its way more difficult too#i should just leave it be and move on bc im clearly not ready to draw it yet#its just hard to ignore that ... idk .. eagerness to please? as in ppl were interested in the previous one#so i wanted to show more of that scene#but i might have just ruined the mystery or something#anyway my blinking is like seconds long i need sleep
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No greater horror than going to reread one of your favourite fics only to realize it was fucking deleted.
BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU SAVED IT ALL A WHILE BACK AND FIND THE SAVED COPY
So now Im just staring at the fucking PDF file of the fic, absolutely flabbergasted and shocked. This is it. This is the only way I'll ever be able to read it now. Holy shit 😭
The author deleted their entire accout too, so I guess they just wanted to get rid of everything. Which, I mean, is fine, it is their work after all. They can do whatever they want with it.
BUT MAN, Im gonna be saving stuff all the time from now on.
#I have NEVER experienced this before#sure some fics I liked in the past got deleted and I was sad about it#but having a copy of it saved????#this is a whole new level of emotions#what the hell#you bet your ass Im gonna go and save SO MANY fics now after this#had to come here and rant cause Im feeling things rn#like Im so sad they deleted it but I have a copy so Im good??#but its still evoking this somberness???#idk man I wasn't expecting this#Im just gonna go read this smut fic now LMAO#ahhh but I just realized there was ANOTHER fic by this author I really liked... and I dont have it saved ☹#FUCK#really learning the hard way today#save your faves everybody!#you never know...#random post
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i'm not blaming anyone because there's literally no way you could know but whenever people say "i'm shocked you aren't already a fan of/aware of this pop culture thing" it always makes me a bit sad because. yeah i guess i probably would have been if i'd been allowed to have interests and casual hobbies that weren't constantly scrutinized and only deemed acceptable if they contributed towards my future academic development as a kid. maybe if i'd been allowed to use a computer or phone without my parents constantly breathing down my neck about what i was using them for and punishing me and further restricting my access to the internet if they caught me seeking out any kind of social or recreational interaction there that wasn't pre-approved and regularly checked to ensure i wasn't saying or doing anything that didn't suit their traditional conservative nuclear family sensibilities (or just, like, having fun in a way they couldn't understand tbh). maybe i would have been able to just like. enjoy things. maybe i would have had friends.
#🐉#like. idk. i used to be proud as a kid that i didnt know any of the popular youtubers my peers watched regularly or whatever.#now im just like. man i really wasnt allowed to like anything just for fun huh.#i wasnt even allowed to watch cartoons as a kid because my parents thought they were pointless brain rotting trash that would#encourage me to sit on my ass and stare at a screen. i had to ask permission to watch tv for a period of time they chose and kept score of.#idk man im just sad
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dont understand why aro headcanons arent more popular cuz its so interesting to me thinking about how a persons relationships would change.
this canon romance? imagine if one of them didnt feel the same way but they still deeply cared about them. imagine if they struggled to find words for how theyre feeling, imagine how theyd think about their relationship and imagine how theyd struggle trying to figure out how they feel about the person.
theres so much stuff to explore wish ppl actually thought about this stuff more </3
#stiff talk#sry im just kinda sad rn skdjfhs#not over anything in particular#just like. sad in general i guess#idk man i love seeing peoples headcanons and fics and art in general#but then when it never includes anyone like you it gets kinda sad#theres so many characters i can think of that would be so fun to explore as aromantic but barely anyone ever does so#and if they do most people just ignore it anyway cuz “where shipping >:(”#(no hate towards shippers i love shipping just as muc has the next person i just wish it wasnt the only thing people cared about)
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House's tendency to rationalize feelings away and being frustrated at himself for still feeling them. It's hurting me 😢
At the end of 05x04 Birthmarks he did a paternity test... And even after it turned out that John wasnt his father, he was still drinking his whiskey, because it didn't mean anything that John wasn't his biological father, because things are still the same.
He's still sad, he's still depressed. The dipshit of a man passing still made him sad. And the thought that he can't even rationalize it away as hatred upsets him. And so he drinks.
And to that Wilson said no one can choose their parents... Because House rejects John as his paternal figure and yet deep inside, House still called him his dad.
#i think everything he said at John's eulogy was real. he meant every word#of course if his mother wasnt there he would be a lot meaner#but he meant it.#house pushes people away because hes scared of being hurt#hes an asshole because nobody connects with an asshole and thus everyone is at arms length at best#and yet when people leave him he still mourns#his ducklings from season 3#wilson in season 5#and even that dipshit of a man john house#and idk its. it makes me sad#it just doesnt have to be this way#i want him to chase happiness and i want him to be happy#instead he just refuses it because happiness is associated with pain#because everyone leaves him in the end#im so sad#house md#gregory house#greg house#doctor house#not to say that people cant reject their parents and feel no remorse for their death#its just that house... that sensitive man#that depressed fearful man#he cant do that. because deep down he craves that connection#he wishes his father were better. he wishes he was the man his father wanted him to be#which makes it even more painful to observe
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yknow what though shoutout to matt for not making darryl homophobic like with his whole thing it would've been so easy but he didn't and i do appreciate it
#dndads#im in a funk n sad n tired and i am thinking about how grant felt entirely safe telling his dad that he likes a boy#im .........#idk man i just spent like half an hour in the shadow realm
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"From triumph to failure is but one step."
+ the usual
I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.
+ version without text
My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:
Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.
Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3
I. Renault
At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.
II. Ferrari
Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.
III. Aston
Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.
Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(
#woooo yeah totally a spanish gp poster sure sure.....#idk i cant pretend to be relevant. i just wanted to draw matadors bcs it was spain gp wknd#maybe next year ill draw him as the prince of asturias#very proud of the narrative of this though#I do think it's very relavant to the story of his career and his relationship to the spanish gp#see i even downloaded a special font! sdjkglr#also do let me know which is your fav Nando on this poster!!!! <3#even tho the aston nando is lowkey the reason behind this whole poster. im super smitten with renault nando#i wonder which fernando would be 'freeze'#also i swear one day im gonna accidentally stab myself with the big ass sword i use to take ref pics for matador au#HOPE THIS ISNT TOO SAD EVEN THO I KNOW IT IS!!!#i mean it was never really supposed to be triumphant. more just *heavy thoughts*#but the lacklustre results and the fact that i feel like i havent even seen nando that much this wknd fueled the depressing read more#i am not immune to being overly dramatic and angsty </3#hey you never know man maybe this will work as reverse psychology and he'll do well in a couple hours!! we'll see...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#matador au#2024 spanish gp#fa14
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morning toddheads
#look he did have fun#he liked it#*walter white voice* he liked it. he was good at it#you know what i do think he loved her a little bit too#final scene is so sad#everything faaaaalllllsss apaaaart#i guess when i say i don't think sweenett is love#i do think they love each other in their ways#but the lie about lucy is so enormous#so central#to have lucy still alive and badly needing help#and have nellie continuously hide that from a man who is GRIEVING HIS WIFE#and trying to avenge her#it bothers me a lot#so i think the betrayal at her lying to him is multifold#it's not just you LIED to me#it's YOU lied to me#i thought you were on my side#all our confidences and tender moments had this lie beneath it#who are you#even#idk. i'm writing my fanfic and im in my feelings#their relatinoship is so complicated#what is love anyway#WHAT IS IS LOVE#baby don't throw me in the oven#in the oven#anymore#text post meme#sweenett
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Hey this is so niche but i did a pentagon based design of the xhorhaus and i low key would pay cr to use a design like this for the animated show bc it is just So Neat i Love shapes ♡♡♡♡♡
(Btw please do immagine that veth and yeza have a ladder down into the laboratory)
#muffin rambles#critical role#campaign 2#the mighty nein#critical role fanart#the xhorhouse#SCREAMS ABT HOW PENTAGONS ARE THE ONLY GEOMETRIC SHAPE THAT CAN'T BE USED INDEFNTELY IN A MOSAIC BC U CAN'T DIVIDE THE ANGLE BY 360° ???#or smth#idk math#i just think its neat thst u cant make a 2d tile w pentagons it has to be a spherical shape#smth smth the luxon is like super cool but in a math way and if i knew more abt math id be so smart and cool but alas i just doodle#man im gonna get math bros inmy inbox oh no#ANYWAYS POINT IS PRNTAGONS MAKE DESIGNS INFINITELY INTERESTING BC NOTHING IS GOING TO BE EXACTLY SYMETRICAL (i mean it can be but thats sad
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Pretty sure my parents think I'm a heartless freak but like idk what I'm really supposed to do about that-
#like do they WANT me to cry#about death and stuff#idk#maybe not cause theyve seen me cry over way lesser stuff#but i feel like they see me as a lil heartless freak everytime somethinf actually big happens and then#my reaction is just like 'ok :/'#urgh#anyone else just not....feel it?#anyway all this to say my grandpa died#:/#i dont really?#like idk shit happens man#also this is not a vent#i just feel guilty because im not like...sad?#i feel worse about the heartless freak thing#it makes me feel like im a bad person#i think that regardless#but thats like a whole other issue#anyway#ramble over#/gen i am fine and this isnt meant to be a vent
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