#miss the times when i didnt think about this so much
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started watching severance..so…..obviously i had to make a serverance sabrevine au(those who Know know why)
major spoilers for the show, so all thoughts are hid safely under the cut👍
vic severs immeditely after logan breaks off their relationship. logan had started seeing silverfox, thinking she was a better influence on him. then about 3 months or so later, she mysteriously dies(its a gemma type situation). it doesnt take long for logan to sever too
department X. a newer 2 person department, victor c. working alongside david n. they spend a lotta time organizing military equipment, and theorize maybe theres an apocalyptic war going on topside. but overall, they dont really talk much. 3 months in, kayla s. joins their team. 5 months in, logan h. shows up as well. and he n vic IMMEDIATELY click.
innie vic n logan have a lot smoother of a time falling into a relationship, as well as managing it, due to their lack of memories making them unaware of the reasons for their own issues
they obviously still have reactions n thoughts similar to the shit their outies deal with, feeling deep self hatred while not really knowing why, but theyre easier to deal with due to the lack of context, and they end up helping eachother out with that mutual struggle of mysterious pain
and these guys are basically experiencing the most giddy First Puppy Love of their weird little innie existence. its sappy, its fun, office supplies is getting messed with as they tease eachother, theyre sneaking out to go on lil dates around the maze of their workplace, etc etc
so. the purpose of their department is actually to test replacement of an outies memories. first, outie logans memory of silverfox’s death is replaced with vic being the culprit. and overtime, regular arguments in their relationship gets replaced with more intense abuse, on both sides
their innies start getting flashes of it as a result of it being so early in testing. logan starts to back off from vic a bit, but vic tries to reassure him their outies are different. at somepoint, flashes of their actual relationship slip thru too, and its like having 2 sets of memories. logan cant tell which one to trust...but he decides to trust the vic infront of him, since his own outie seems a lot meaner too
meanwhile their outies are getting flashes of their innies relationship, logan being scared for his innies safety and vic praying that his innie is somehow nicer than he was(even tho in reality he wasnt ever really that bad)
vic catches on that somethings up when he gets a flash of silverfox, obviously still alive, and is over the fucking moon that he didnt actually kill her(which he was inclined to believe cuz he really did want to do it at the time). hes also kinda selfishly hoping that innie logan doesnt start anything with her and just sticks with innie vic this time
at somepoint logan just stops going into work for a couple days out of fear for his innie, and thats when outie vic seeks him out to attempt to explain the stuff hes gotten flashes of
while talking, logan suggests the idea that if theyre working on replacing memories, then maybe they could erase them too…his memories of existing the way his innie does, purely, without having fucked anything up in his life yet, seems a lot more healing than the way he feels now. vic agrees, but…that kinda thing seems like a slippery escapist slope. ‘it aint just about erasing yer past, yer trying to erase yerself aint ya?’ vic’d miss him if he did, even admittedly the bad bits
even with all the abusive memories in their brains, sitting next to eachother they felt something comfortable, something warm, something that made them both feel present in the moment
ig ideally it’d end with them getting the false memories flushed outta them and integrating with their innies, giving their relationship another shot
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fineeee i guess ill make a random headcanon post (these thoughts have been plaguing me for months and i need to get them out)
ik sarah fortune and vi are probably prison wives which is why i also think sarah did most of vis tattoos while they were there, which is how they became prison wives (a whole lot of sitting very intimiately on top of each other can do that to people.)
jinx left ekko with a key to her hideout. its probably one of the only last things thats remaining of jinxs past since she was very determined to destroy anything reminding her of her past, so he keeps it in his room. he hasn't opened it yet because it feels like a breach of her privacy but he has it just in case she ever comes back or if he ever decides he wants to.
on that note, i actually think the first time he even dares to go into her hideout is after one of his and vi's meetups. she's probably talking about how much she misses jinx and he brings it up. they don't actually go in for monthssss afterwards cuz again they feel weird being in her hideout, and vi feels like she has no right to this part of jinx's life given how distant they became. but eventually curiosity gets the best of them and they go in.
cait and vi have two dogs.
cait and vi also spar together on the weekends.
caitlyn went to university while she was living with her parents so it was kinda hard for her to sneak off to parties but she did it somehow. that said the first time she got drunk was in college and jayce had to help sneak her back in through her window.
vi and mylo and claggor would often hang out with some of the older kid neighbors and would usually be the plug for alcohol. but vis first kiss (with a girl one one of the low rooftops) was interrupted because mylo got wayyyy too drunk one time (it was his first time and she gave him so much shit for it). powder found out and got sad that she didnt get invited to the party even though she saw how mad vander got
i think caitlyns always known she was into girls but was less sure if she was into guys. while she was a teenager she dated maybe one or two but she realized she very much was not into them.
mel has a lot of knowledge about weaponry (given shes from noxus) and when she came over to the kiramman house for events or dinners she and caitlyn would nerd out about guns. mel would tell her about some special noxus weapons and how they differed. mel was even the first person to gift her a gun (with cassandras permission ofc).
after cait finds out about vis drinking problems while they were separated she also stops drinking (at least around vi, but she tries not to drink even when she isn't around vi too). that paired w how her father took up alcohol after cassandra's death, alcohol is kinda barred at the kiramman household for a while.
i honestly think vi prefers not to be around anyone after she has nightmares or on particularly hard days. i think she likes to stew on it for a while on her own, not cuz she 'doesnt wanna burden cait' but more becuase she just doesn't want to be smothered like that. obviously she talks to cait when she feels comfortable enough but she likes to be alone when shes having off days.
felicia and connol got married after they found out they were pregnant with vi (and in the wedding picture that vander and then jinx kept, you can see felicia's baby bump with vi). im not sure how league lore works but i think felicia and connol decided to officially marry more so cuz it felt right to them and less because they 'had to' because i think marriage is honestly more of a label thing in zaun (like oh yeah we can marry but we also dont have to, it doesnt really matter cuz it doesnt change how i feel about you), whereas in piltover marriage probably holds more social and economic weight.
even though sevika wasnt particularly close to vi or jinx when they were younger (when vander was still in charge of the last drop) she still talked w them. i think she was softer w powder cuz she was younger and would sometimes play along with her dolls, but she was very teasing with vi (which teenage vi did NOT appreciate).
i do think that sevika would help vi train sometimes too, even though i fully think vander was the one mostly in charge of that. but on the nights that maybe vander was too busy and sevika felt like it, she'd give vi pointers on how to fight.
one time sevika saw vi flirting with her first girlfriend on the rooftops and she teased vi mercilessly about it while they were sitting next to vander. vander raised his eyebrows at vi and vi blushed and stormed off. sevika just howled with laughter.
#i definitely have more headcanons but thats it for now.#arcane#caitvi#timebomb#mel medarda#vi#caitlyn kiramman#jayce talis#ekko#jinx#meljay#felicia#connol#vander#mylo#claggor#sevika#powder
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I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS
#THERES LIKE. BARELY ANY.#IF I GET LUCKY ILL SEE AN ACE HEADCANON#BUT VERY RARELY DO I SEE ARO HEADCANONS#SOBBING#stiff talk#my favorite thing is thinking about how many characters i see as aromantic but then i go to the fandom tag or to that characters tag and#everyone is shipping them and theres like 2 posts total about that character being ace and 1 post about them being aroace#man im just a bit sad about all this dont mind me#yea yea i know the whole “if you wanna see something make it yourself” thing but see heres the thing: im tired#i just wanna be able to go through a tag and see people share similar ideas and headcanons without me having to make all the work myself#and i bet theres plenty other people who feel the same#and even if there is a character thats like. somewhat aroace coded in some way people still find a way to go “but then they fall in love”#and like yea have fun or whatever but i just idk it just feels very lonely sometimes yknow#miss the times when i didnt think about this so much#cuz now that im older and know that IM aspec its like. oh. i wanna see more characters like me! but theres like basically none#SORRY FOR THE RANT LMFAO#ignore this im just feeling silly
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Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.
I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.
Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.
My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.
You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.
Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.
To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.
I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.
If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.
I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).
If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.
I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.
#sorry to any moots and followers reading this for going off like this#this has just been weighing on me for a long time#i have absolutely zero issue with someone just making posts about a thing they like and things they think about#it doesnt have to be any kind of academic in the slightest#citing sources is not necessary to be a part of fandom#but when you make such a bold and demeaning claim that actively puts down the very fandom you claim to be part of#im gonna get pissed#we are not your underlings and you are not better than anyone else#maybe this is my inner jantelov shining bright here but this is exactly what the modern jantelov is for#calling out people who think theyre better than the rest based on nothing but arrogance and ego#trust me this is not how i usually try to sort problems but ive had it and i think everyone should know#ive personally fallen victim to the “explain away with half baked arguments and appeals to emotion” tactic from people#its very easy to want to give people the benefit of the doubt#so as someone who knows and has experienced how easy it is to fall into that trap i want to point this out to those who might not notice#its very easy to miss#but i didnt miss it this time and im not letting anyone else miss it either#when you start forgiving this type of behaviour youre only a step away from letting them walk all over you#suddenly youre wrapped around their pinky and you wont notice until the light from the exit dims so much that you cant see at all#ive been there#im not letting you go there too#to be clear this isnt a this person issue but you have to catch this behaviour the moment you see it otherwise youll catch it too late#im only being this up front about it because i want you to be able to recognise when someone actually dangerous does it#its a kind of pipeline#i want you to notice in time#ask#yuri on ice
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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he literally sews his kids stupid little outfits from scratch does anyone even fucking care
#tmnt#i could talk about this for hours but it pisses me off so bad when people ON MY OWN POSTS are like ooh splinter is neglectful he suuucks#shut up you idiot everything he does is for them he would kill himself in a heartbeat for them#the fact that they even survived past infancy in their circumstances is a testament to phenomenal parenting by any realistic human standard#it's just that a) it's a show about the ninja turtles so of course they're going to have a lot of unsupervised escapades#& it's not fair to read THAT much into his absence b) they are older kids at this point & it's perfectly reasonable for a group of 13-17 y/#s to go to the grocery store without a chaperone and c) his strained relationship with his grandpa heavily informs his approach to parentin#so he thinks that smothering too much at this age will drive them away & he wants to encourage their blossoming independence as much as#possible because that's what he craved at that age#and it's so clear in every flashback that he was a constant nurturing & encouraging presence in their childhood & he misses the days when#they really relied on him hence piebald#and he WANTS to spend time with them he really does. he begged to be in their family band he has to excruciatingly hold himself back from#following them on their adventures at times but again he doesn't want to smother them at this age so he finds other outlets#remember when he bought a 20$ cup of lemonade from raph & leo because he didnt want them to be sad that they got no customers in their#Sewer lemonade stand#he loves them more than anything he's just weird and autistic about it okay. shut up. Shut the fuck up#not really relevant but his room is so baller i'd spend all my time here if this was my room. minifridge and everything
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DAYBREAK MENTION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 65 CHAPTERS!!! BABYGIRL I MISS YOUUUU
#prince's talk tag#WHERE IS HE I NEED TO KNOW HES OK!!#yes i know he got fired at the end of chapter 27 but his luck is so good i imagine he bounced back quickly#i need him and twilight to interact again!! there so fun!!#i know it wont happen but imagine he somehow ends up working for WISE and he and twilight get paired for a mission#or twilight and yor have missions to do but dont wanna leave anya alone and no one is available atm so they hire someone#and that someone is daybreak#but since twilight already left by the time he arrived and yor was the one that greeted him before she left#twilight couldnt stop him from potentially blowing his cover (like he thinks hes been made but it was just a coincidence)#OR he is there when daybreak arrives but he can't send him away without raising suspicion so he has to take the L#and he either spends the whole chapter worried or he tries to go home to check on them but cant#meanwhile anya has read their minds and knows theyve met before and she gets excited which makes it harder for twilight to send daybreak off#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i miss him soooooo much#ENDO WHERE IS HE??? WHY DID YOU LOCK HIM IN YOUR BASEMENT!! LET HIM OUT!!!!!#this was from ch 92 i was catching up bc i wanted a bunch of chapters to come out so i can read them all in one go#and yo that reveal anya pulled on damien during their dance!!!! so good!!!!#like yea he didnt believe her but she said it and he'll think about it whenever she say something she couldnt possibly of known#sxf#spy x family
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scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god
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apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.
i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au
ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks
anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.
Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.
Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.
It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.
It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.
Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.
Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."
It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—
You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.
And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.
Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"
Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—
Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.
Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.
"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.
"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."
"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.
"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."
"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.
"Be gentle, I bruise easily."
"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."
"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.
"Line like fishing?"
"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"
"Yes, yes, that."
Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."
"Doing the thing."
Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.
"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.
And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.
"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.
"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.
"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.
"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.
"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."
Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.
"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."
"Is that bad?"
"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.
So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.
"Oh, hilarious."
"If I was funny I would say jock."
"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."
"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"
"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.
#ask#instead of actually writing the things i wanted to get done i did this instead thanks guys#not to “controversially new hot younger girlfriend” maffhew but im gonna#timeline here doesnt make sense like quote wise so like you know#chat... matthew was not joking when he said well be seeing more of each other#he was fully intending to sit on that knot the first time he saw sasha#sasha is just dumb#god can you just imagine the ways in which maffhew would drive this nice polite alpha absolutely insane#can you imagine the way sasha accidently brushes his hand across the back of his neck because hes trying to wrap an arm around his shoulder#in camaraderie and sasha is so apologetic about it because dynamic classes in finland are intense and hes so remorseful about it#and then in the midst of all that maffhew just turns into this little purr machine and sasha is like oh i think i touched a button i should#not have touched at all oh god oh fuck#and maffhews like mmm? whyd you stop#pan to sasha silently freaking out#not to say sasha doesnt enjoy scruffing his omegas because they love it but he hasnt met one who enjoys it as much as maffhew does#and it kinda fucks him up#also speaking to ekky getting used to maffhews scent like oh boy i can see sooooo many ways that can go down like maffhew is respectful#of ekkys boundaries but also at some point ekky has had enough time to mope and for lack of a better word he does need to grow up#which is why maffhew starts off subtly you know standing on the dman side of the lockers for a few minutes. chatting up the guys over there#before ekky walks in you know leave a ghost of his scent around. its not strong and its not offensive but it certainly is there#eventually he just full on starts chucking his dirty socks at ekky after games#going oops sorry missed the bin didnt mean to snipe you (he absolutely did. he gets extra points if he hits ekkys face!)#sometimes a stray jersey too. if he really wants to make ekky mad he will just slingshot his biohazard-in-training-jock over.#i also think when ekky gets the yips when he starts pacing a little harder than usual when his chuckles turn a little too nervous#maffhew has enough and just like a worried hen of a men just manhandles ekky around in his arms and shoves at him till he puts his nose#in his neck and ekkys arguing the whole time like this isnt necessary im fine-#and matthews like right im sure thats why your teeth are chattering worse than a fucking woodchipper eh?#ekky cant really reply to that and maffhew tells him to just shut up and start sniffing#and it does help and he hates that he admits maffhew was right that he just needed to be clucked over by another omega#opening yapdoras box the lot of you. utterly awful. I HAVE THINGS TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
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will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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I miss and mourn the days of summer 2022, I don't think I've ever been that happy and fulfilled as an internet artist in my life
#litchi.txt#i miss the community and the engagement and the people and just the times#it sucked like honestly the fandom on twt was rancid#but it was a good time when i got to post comics and just be excited with everyone about the story#i miss the engagement not for the sake of popularity but for the sake of community#for once it felt like Im talking to people around a fire instead of yelling into the void#and like things just... really went fucky after didnt they#i think ive grown as an artist and all that but I rarely get as much joy out of posting anymore#its more of 'it wont do well anyways so why bother'#Im happy with the piece. I just wish I could be happy about it with others if that makes sense#so I just dont post as much anymore because what is the point#i really. really miss that.#monarchy days my beloved where have you gone?
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Red Guy being deluded with his crush on Duck is equally funny, me thinks
Just this feral full on rabies man Duck who commits war crimes and Red’s delusional ass goes “he is so dreamyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️”
HE'S GOT THEEE WORST TASTE AND I WILL STAND BY THAT FOREVER.
Like, Red has got his issues, but you could see why people would like him. Sooo many people have/had a crush at him at one point it's unreal. NO ONE FEELS THAT WAY ABOUT DUCK GDGDF
THERE'S SO MUCH WRONG WITH HIM... FOR GODS SAKE LOOK AT HIM.
look at his PANTS LEG
#THAT'S HIS MAN. THATS WHAT HE'S GONNA SETTLE FOR#worst taste in clothes and WORSE taste in men#anyways. i got this way back when i was talking about their dynamic in my head ect ect#so JUST FOR YOU ANON i will go into this bc u've waited LONG ENOUGH#i think hes totally delusional in that /i/ think he definitely thinks duck is much cuter than he actually is#strikes me as a 'builds shit up in his head' type. like ive said before i think. that he would think real hard about saying smth.#like TO duck abt it. and then would NOT for months and months and months#GOD I SAW SOMEONE SAY ON THE POST WHERE I SAID I THINK DUCK THINKS THEYRE MARRIED...#...that like in reality all that happened was duck dropped something on the ground and red knelt down to get it and give it to him#and in his head that was FULLY a proposal and he was like wow. didnt think this was how id get engaged but ok.#and when it does come up reds like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ??? and duck has like. a photo of their wedding (for tha BIT)#and he's like 'youve missed our anniversary five years in a row btw :/'#AND THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING TAGS ANYONES EVER LEFT ON ANY OF MY DRAWINGS#I HAVE IT SCREENCAPPED I THINK ABOUT DRAWING IT ALL THE TIME ITS SOFUCKING FUNNY#anyways love u anon stay cool have a nice summr#my dhmis postings
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can i say it now?
sage of time/time powers didn't make sense for totk zelda. at ALL.
when in botw, before the calamity, in aoc, did she EVER show an affinity for time powers? i get that it was like this sort of. hidden power kind of thing, but it still doesn't make much sense. not for zelda.
#not to mention. light dragon still.#like..... it doesn't make sense in my head.#i would have understood it if it were link who was sage of time. because he canonically has magic related to time#(e.g. flurry rush. bullet time. plus connections to the hero of time)#they could have made a banger design with time themes for dragon zelda. im just saying#and i get kind of trying to connect her with sonia a bit but idk.#i TRIED to bring this up back when totk first released but people didnt like that very much#i think both zelda and link are connected to time and light but they each have more of a connection to one over the other#like. okay. dragon of time zelda. yes?#phases in and out of existance at will. sometimes she's seen at the two different places at the same time. maybe more.#her appearance is pretty unpredictable. the average hylian who has no clue what the dragon spirits are talk about things going missing#weird things happening whenever the dragon of time flies overhead#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk spoilers#idk if people still care but it was more expensive than usual so#negativity#i feel bad for making this post after bitching about people being too harsh about totk#and people were. i was hyperfixating and legit could not talk about it because people were horrible about it to me#which genuinely ruined a lot of my experiences online last year#its really hard to try and reframe it as “all that matters is that you enjoy it and what other people think shouldn't affect that”
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i read the hunger games books multiple times over as a kid, and i didnt like katniss' ending at first, bc my hyperlexic ass could read the words long before i could REALLY Comprehend the concepts, but as soon as i got a firm understanding of aromanticism and trauma and and etcetc... i like it a lot now
#^bro had the most subtleeeee learning delay !!!!#it kind of disturbs me because like. i just. didnt have a teacher that really helped me UNDERSTAND stuff like themes? i was shy#and i was REALLY good at guessing on questions like theme and mood based on what the teacher said#but i didnt. GET them i usually got half points or missed those questions or wasnt detailed enough#same thing with character motivation#unless i was intimately familiar with the story#and even then stuff like hs and su and mp100... it took multiple times over and also participation in fan discussion to Get what was happen#idk what happened or why it clicked#it was like. slowly thru junior year and into senior i had 2 great teachers in a row#the texts we read were interesting and were about things i could identify as giving a shit about from a fairly surface level#i dont know what made it click..#which is what makes me think its hyperlexia#it was really like an epiphany? or a set of epiphanies#but i could read a LOT of words really fucking fast#i was reading on my own when i was 4#which apparently isnt normal#and they said i read at a 7th grade level when i was in 3rd grade#and by the time i was in 7th grade i was reading at a college level#which! at my school was pretty much just based on knowing vocab!!!!#and damn did i know vocab. i just couldnt.. see.. the bigger picture....... Um. *gulps in missed autism diagnosis*#just connected that thats a manifestation of focusing on the details..#but yeah its weird#i was always pretty sure i didnt have any major developmental delays#just trouble communicating and socializing etcetc sensory issues whatever#im p sure i hit all my milestones on time or early as a bebe#except that... also i was (am...) a wanderer. i got the cops called on me by my family cause i wandered to a neighbors house (there were#kids a little older than me there and i had an older neighbor friend from another house so i thought it was chill. plus they had video game#and i lived w old people so i didnt get any games until i was 7 (dsi))#im pretty sure they wouldnt have called the cops if it was a white family -_- they would refer to them as Them Patels -_-#but regardless i was pulling the irish goodbye before i shouldve LOL
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i have had such an urge to pamper a girl for a full day - not just waiting on her hand and foot but like. actually pamper her. plan an entire day just for her with activities i know she'd love. a special breakfast just for her. picking her clothes. stops for treats and drinks and meals she loves. new clothes if she wants, new toys if she wants. going with her to new places she wouldnt wanna go alone, forming new experiences. - whatever she wants! just make her smile and feel like the center of the universe
#feel mushy#this can extend to sex too but like idk i just love doing this with people#i love planning days around my friends & lovers so much#honestly i actually really love wooing people but i dont usually do it cause this is NOT romantic behavior for me!! i do this for my friends#as well as lovers!!! this is just what love is for me!!! i love making people happy and loved and cherished!!!#but i get really scared about doing these things at the same time cause even when ive talked ab it to ppl ab the fact that this behavior#isnt like. Me Pursuing Them I've had so many ppl feel bad/led on from me doing this so i really only do it if someone Agrees to it (like a#full day scene lol) but like. idk. i crave doing this. so much. i love making people feel special and loved#i wish there was less romantic pressure sometimes bc like. i just love?#(+ its SO hard to do this regularly cause ALL MY FRIENDS LIVE SO FAR AWAY 😭 i miss them all so bad even tho I havent met most of them irl)#anyway idk. this is really vulnerable in the tags. i just really love loving people and i wish i could do it more freely how i want w/o#the expectations of romance or sex (also this complex feeling is why I struggle calling myself aromantic Or polyamorous bc none of these#experiences capture how i engage w/ these things cause when i say aro ppl think “no romance ever” and when i say poly ppl think “wants lots#of partners/relationships“ when it's really just. relationship anarchy in action. and also i dont really care about Identifying with these#words i dont care about the Identity itself at all really - i just wish others didnt put so much weight into them either!!!! 😩)#< also. whining as if he doesn't literally have 4 virtual friend dates next week and one the following already 🤡#bunnyprints
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(so it turns out i never posted this actual video so like.. here. i have so many brain worms about this now cause like. holy shit my dude. once again asking where. OH WHERE. the fuck is/was this character after his return and why wasnt he given a fair chance when all the building blocks were so obviously fucking there.......)
#wrestling#kip sabian#penelope ford#okay one more. i promise im done now (for a while cause im definitely gonna gif the ending of this video lmao)#but like.. yeah. something about this time was so special#and then they fucking fumbled him like no other. i mean there were signs before that too when they didnt let boxman reach his potential#but there was so much fucking promise during this two show run in ddt and so many things they could have done after returning#but no. instead none of this was ever brought up (neither title win or that mask or anything else) and nothing came out of it#nothing for this persona. for that mask. for their dynamic. nothing at all#they werent in television outside of dark for like two months i think#its just such a fucking shame cause he has all the tools and the talents to be a fucking top star. they just arent giving him the chances#not the be constantly fucking salty about this but.. yeah. their time in japan really just proved that#and how badly aew is actually fumbling them. like fucking seriously#anyways. please watch this if nothing else. i do miss this time it was just genuinely so fucking nice#not only to see them actually win shit lmao but also to see the character works and their dynamic evolve and blossom#it was so good and so special. and knowing especially how much it meant to kip like... yeah#aew do fucking better 2k24. PLEASE#anyways im done sorry#my beloved#kip in a box#vampire wife#boxman saga#box thoughts#if you saw me post this before no you didnt lol#the dash is uncooperative so im doing it again dont @ me
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Re: "I don't know how both of us would feel if we were forced to separate."
My theory: Vova would have not been able to endure everything without his family / Olena by his side.
I agree with that. Or he would be in a much worse place right now.
Olena also wouldn't do well in a foreign country, far away from him. (Same for the children.)
Ze needs her (and them) close to him. As stated several times by both of them, they're his happiness and energy and strength. No matter how short or rare they're meetings may be, they're still important because he takes something out of them, from every second. Just to be able to actually see them and talk to them and being able to hug and hold them and kiss them and be close to them. Or that Olena can be there for him in the dark moments.
#i think its something that we see in their life again and again#ze talked several times about how much he missed olena when he had to travel to work#later also his kids#to a point where he would travel back as soon as he had the opportunity and free time#didnt matter that he could just see her a day or some hours or so as lond as he did saw her (them)#and to a point where he had troubles falling asleep or sleeping at all without her#or how olena talked about how much she missed him when he wasnt around#and both of them stated that theyre better when together and they always gave each other strength#olena once said that when she looked back at her life she realized that the person who had always been there in every dark moment was vova#and only him#he was always at ther side#and vova said something similiar about her#the person who was always there for him and supported him was olena#they went throug every hard time together and grew because of each other#and i think thats a bond that is (nearly) indestructible#and such a deep connection that now helps both of them to go on#thats literally souls and hearts connected#they always found their greatest strength in themselves because of the other one
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