#i miss the engagement not for the sake of popularity but for the sake of community

[llitchilitchi]

I miss and mourn the days of summer 2022, I don't think I've ever been that happy and fulfilled as an internet artist in my life

[cursingtoji]

cw: band au, rockstar!geto x groupie!gf, slight manipulation?, car sex, oral. a/n: geto deserves a loser gf too. gojo version nanami version

geto who has a rock band and though they’re quite small they already have a #1 fan: you.

the band is all you talk about, going to the point of making your own shirts and posters, you doodle the bands logo everywhere and, most importantly you don't miss a single concert.

by the end of it you're waiting next to the back door of the pub when the band comes out, as soon as you see suguru you call his name extending your little gift bag.

"woah for me? thanks, doll." he takes your chin and gives your glossy lips a peck that makes your heartbeat spike up and your face warm up. geto fucking suguru just kissed you!

during all that week you were on cloud nine, so distracted and giggly.

of course geto notices you, always in the front row and ready to give the band some gifts, he sees how you try to dress up as one of them before they even realize they have a visual identity.

geto likes having fangirls, if anything that’s the best sign that the band is doing well. till that point he never considered engaging to one in a more intimate level. after all, women were never a problem for him, fans or not.

the problem is when they think more of the relationship than it really is. geto has always made sure they knew that sleeping together and treating them well was not synonymous to committed relationship.

because he already is committed. to his music. so after spending the whole day trying to come up with a new song so the band may finally have a complete album to present to a record, he takes a frustrated break picking up his phone and to his dismay only finding a long message about how he hurt someone’s feelings.

“oh for fucks sake” he lets his phone fall on the couch and take his keys, this is not a good week to quit smoking.

“geto?” he hears a small voice calling him after he leaves the convenience store with a very much needed cigarette on his lips and nicotine in his system.

“oh hey” he recognizes you by name and face.

“you’re using the lighter” you point out enthusiastically, that was a limited edition you bought and gifted him.

“that’s right, you bought me this, did i say thank you?” he’s genuinely wondering, your face heats remembering the kiss.

“i-its no big deal” you brush it off, since he doesn’t seem to be in a rush you start to babble about one specific song and everything you loved about it, knowing he was the composer.

“do wanna go to my place?” he says after quietly listening to your passionate thoughts. you think steam is about to come out of your ears at how hot your face got.

geto throws away what’s left of his cigarette and takes your hand, not really waiting for a response since the heart in your eyes is pretty obvious.

“you’re so cute” he says with his face mushed into your breasts as he guides your movements on his lap. you never guessed when you came out this morning you would be riding your favorite guitarist’s dick a few hours later, if you knew you probably would’ve put a sexier lingerie. not that he would care, by the way he pushed your bottoms down all at once he probably didn’t even know what color your underwear was.

geto pulled your hair tilting your head to meet his mouth, he devoured you so intensely, so overwhelming… you came not even needing your clit to be touched, just by having him inside you and breathing into your mouth like that was enough.

for suguru it was all a power trip, when he saw you after a concert he knew it wouldn’t take you much sweet talking to get you in his car.

he quickly mumbled an excuse to meet the band at the bar later and in just a few minutes he had you bobbing your head down his cock, “just like that, gorgeous, so good” his head is thrown back as he moans softly.

and as the band grew more popular and they had to travel to other cities to perform he would always count on you to meet him at his hotel room.

“geto~” you mewl his name as he eats your pussy from behind so lewdly.

from the very first time you knew it was over for every other guy the moment he touched you. no matter what anyone said about geto, that he was using you, he would never marry you, you didn’t care. you would be his devotee as long as he wanted.

and geto got all he wanted, a pretty little thing that didn’t complain or asked too many questions and best of all: that loved his music and understood his work.

“i know, you have to practice” you kiss him one last time before gathering your clothing from the floor, the hints of him not wanting to stay over were all memorized at this point, so you turn your back at him and make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

but the usual sound of the door opening and closing never came, instead you saw him coming from behind to lace strong arms around your waist, “well maybe just tonight” he smells your hair and through the mirror he sees the tattoo bellow your belly button, just above the hem of your underwear. your prof of love: the logo of the band.

geto touches it and you giggle at the feathery feeling, like a tickle, he likes that sound. he likes you.

“i was thinking you should get another, right here” a finger caress your right ass cheek.

“the same one?” you ask confused.

“no, silly, something else” he gets down hands caressing your hips and kissing the extension of your butt, “my name.”

[astralnymphh]

CALLING ALL FANFICTION AUTHORS!

please reblog this. i've talked about this twice before, but obviously not everyone has seen it. i am calling for anyone who writes fanfiction or posts about a certain game/show/universe in any connective manner to please, please- PLEASE, copy this memo below comprising links to supporting palestine, education on the situation in gaza, and a must-need for those who engage in TLOU tumblr; links regarding the creators (neil druckmann) zionism, and how the plot of tlou2 is based on the israeli occupation of palestine. i don't care if what you write seems "insignificant" or "small" in the grouping of larger fics. no. everything that is not related to palestine in any form NEEDS these links. because, when we stray away from reblogging, or writing up our own posts in support of palestine/sharing journalists stories/etc. even for a SINGLE piece of writing, we could be missing people who are unaware (which, shouldn't be the case atp, but..) and fucking especially because in these fandoms, fics are the most popular thing. not reblogs about palestine, unfortunately; there are so many fanfiction accounts who very clearly don't give a fuck about the whole situation, seeping in silence, posting fics during strikes, not taking accountability for it now, so on and so forth. please, for the love of all that is good- CALL THEM OUT! people gaining hundreds of notes, tens of reblogs, supportive comments on a post that completely disregards what is happening SO BOLDLY right now, should irk you. i swear, if i see one more fuckass "i didn't know!" apology from an author who is CONSTANTLY on tumblr, REGULARLY posting fanfiction, i'm going to fucking lose it. if you are on tumblr to begin with, being this active- you have time to reblog. actually, educating yourself and reblogging is way quicker than writing up fanfiction of any length. are you fucking kidding me? you are laughable. comical, not real, and i have nay an ounce of respect for you. ever. but besdies that; the memo. i want everyone to copy this, or make something similar. put this above your summaries, authors note, whatever comes before the writing. every post you make should link back to supporting palestine, cause you never know how many eyes it will reach. it could change a lot of things. on pc, i believe copying it completely will preserve the links, but i'm not sure if mobile will. again. do whatever you can to add it. don't be lazy. put this in ur masterlists/navigation too.

for all fanfiction authors:

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

for tlou fanfiction authors:

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.

you may add what is necessary, i wanted to keep it short for attention span sakes, and to avoid people skipping it entirely, and so on. i may edit these, fix up anything, but again, if you're using them you can edit them however. as long as you are linking anything in general, that is what matters. thank you, love from aestra. from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

[puppyeared]

this could just be "gatekeeping but im being really polite abt it" but. its less abt thinking only certain ppl should be allowed in, and more like i dont wanna open a pandoras box that makes it difficult for everyone to have fun. shrugs

i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim

[hellspawndoodles]

I think the reason the 'stoner/pervert' characterization for Ben pisses me off so much is that I know exactly where it came from and how badly the fandom missed the damn point of it.

See, that version of him came from Pastamonsters, aka one of THE Creepypasta fancomics. And there it was handled really well.

He took weird Magic Drugs not so much for the sake of getting high (though there's absolutely nothing wrong with just enjoying the feeling) but because if he didn't, he became a murderous lunatic and completely lost control of his powers. I think it was due to being connected in some way to Zalgo iirc? Basically he was the Creepypasta equivalent of Gamzee Makara.

And he wasn't really a 'perverted joke character', he was a young adult man trapped in the body of a child who was just starting to go through puberty at his time of death. He's incredibly repressed because he's desperate for intimacy and has physical urges he literally cannot act on without engaging in extremely concerning behavior because most people aren't physically attracted to him and he's HORRIFIED at the idea that someone might be because, may I remind you, he is permanently stuck with the body of a barely-pubescent boy and painfully aware of that.

Basically his more humorous traits are, in fact, coping mechanisms (self-medication and hypersexual behavior as a result of not having having many, if any outlets that won't leave him or someone else traumatized), it's just that the comic is at least a LITTLE subtle about it and drip-feeds you all this so half the readers thereof completely missed it, making those traits in OTHER versions of him feel hollow and like they're slapped on just because they're popular headcanons.

[iersei]

okay. let's talk about black terry jr.

-

TL;DR: terry jr is black. that is something that should not be erased. regardless of your access to or willingness to search for the canon material that confirms this, you should not be depicting him as white. whitewashing terry by refusing to think of him as black creates an unsafe space for our black community members, and you should re-examine your personal biases if you choose to insist on continuing to see terry as white.

-

terry jr is black. point-blank. and if terry jr is canonically black, then he should be depicted as such.

i will concede that it is something that you might not spot if you listen through the podcast casually. it's something that i didn't know was actually official in any capacity until recently. and i would like to note that i do not have and have never had access to the dndads patreon. i have not listened to any of the teen talks in full (even the ones released to the public. it's just not my jam.), and any information or spitballing contained within is something that i have either been told second-hand or am completely unaware of. i also didn't look at the official poster (the "everything is alright" poster) that depicted both terry jr and samantha as black.

but the fact of the matter remains that terry jr and samantha are black and have been acknowledged as such within the source material.

once again, i myself didn't seek this information out enough to know it was official canon. so then why have i always depicted them as black anyway?

well when i started engaging with the fandom, i saw what was being presented to me in the fandom was overwhelmingly that terry was indeed black or at least popularly interpreted to be black. and my first and only thought was that that was nice. so i decided to roll with it.

if i really wanted to check if that was canon and it being canon was important to me, i could always have asked around. i could've sought out information from official sources. because if they were black and i just missed it in some way, i would've wanted to check myself. especially because doing so would lead to whitewashing.

but i didn't feel the need to do that because i think that just the added racial diversity was really cool to see on its own.

for argument's sake, there is still the possibility that you'd think it is simply just popular fanon. let's say you chose to not check for yourself whether or not he was canonically black. or let's say that, for whatever reason, you think that what is available isn't enough to sufficiently deem him canonically black. so let's discuss why terry should still be depicted as black even if it was "just" fanon and there were no official artworks to go off of.

i am not of the opinion that fanon in general should be taken as gospel. in fact, there are quite a few things within dndads fanon itself that i personally disagree with and choose not to engage with. the reason why this interpretation in particular is a sore spot is the question of why, after seeing the popular portrayal and recognizing the ability to create racial diversity in a space where a good amount of appearances and identities can be up for interpretation, someone would still choose to depict him as white.

why do you choose to depict him as white? do you have any personal biases that make you think that he would or should be white? do you think that it is unimportant or inconsequential to not depict him as a person of color?

what would be so compelling about making him white that you would choose to go against this interpretation? why is it so important that you continue to see him as white?

who are you ignoring in the process?

i do not think it is deliberately malicious to initially think that terry jr is white. it is the unfortunate truth that white tends to be considered the default. but it begins to rub me the wrong way when anyone chooses to stick with that idea when presented with any evidence or argument to the contrary.

though i will admit that i am not black, i am still a person of color. and i think that creating a fandom space where we can highlight, create, and celebrate racial variety means creating a space where people of color feel safer. and because i would like to uplift the black fandom member who tried to voice their own personal take on this matter, i would like to link back to [this post from vivalapersistence] as the reason why i felt compelled to talk about this in the first place.

i don't want to talk over him, but i want to point out his statement that having this kind of solid representation is important and means something to him as a black person in this community. erasing terry as black means that you would be, intentionally or not, erasing and silencing black voices. it takes away that element of representation within the fandom and does real harm to the black people within when you decide that that representation isn't important. there are real racial connotations to the argument here, and it's frankly a little callous to pretend like there's not.

so maybe let's be nice to the BIPOC in our community spaces, okay?

and i want to make it clear right now. if you want to discuss what i say here, you can discuss this with me.

[trashogram]

i think the worst creative mistakes viv ever made with HB is letting Brandon rogers into the writing room, because she wanted the show to be more action but it’s brandon who wanted the shipping and i feel like that in turn ruined all the other characters because they had to make stolas look good, i remember when he was just the rich guy blitz was fucking and i miss when the show wasn’t romantic 😔

Really??? I’m not at all calling you a liar, please don’t take it that way! But I’m curious where you got this information/belief because I’ve heard (and felt tbh) the exact opposite?

It seems a lot more in line with Vivienne to be all about shipping. Her background is being in fandom — I first got into her art around 2008 on DA, which used to be a lot more popular than it is today and fandom culture thrived there along with Livejournal and FF.net as well as various forum boards. She’s been engaged with and made content for online fandom for years, and fandom has an unfortunate history of fetishizing gay romance between fictional characters to the point of openly hateful rhetoric toward any other characters in the show that might get in the way of their mlm ship — especially female characters. It’s also Vivienne’s shows, with her name on them as the main creator, that prioritize male characters and emphasizes their angst/how pathetic she can possibly make them.

Brandon’s career has mainly consisted of comedy sketches from my understanding, not so much romantic content (has he made legitimate romance content??? I apologize, I’m not really familiar with his work.) or action — Brandon’s sketches are very fast-paced/quick cuts but idk if that’s on par with an Avengers flick. He has a background in crafting jokes not Vivienne, and I assumed Viv knew that so she hired him on to assist with Helluva Boss as it was initially pitched to be a dark comedy.

I also find it hard to believe that Brandon, the VA for Blitzø (our initial and supposed main character in HB), would be happy to have his character not only sidelined in his own show, but legitimately brutalized by the narrative and characters for… not returning the feelings of a whiny rich speciesist prince that coerced him into what essentially amounts to sex trafficking just so Blitzø can put food on the table? Brandon most likely came into this thinking he was creating more comedy, but I don’t see how this twisted melodrama is all that funny. I have personally made a fair few jokes about how I would be extremely disheartened by how Helluva Boss has mistreated Blitzø if I was Brandon.

I agree that the characters in Helluva Boss have all been ruined for Stolas’s sake, and for the Stolitz ship. I also wish it wasn’t romantic, not because I can’t enjoy romantic stories but because HB isn’t good at it.

[aheartofdawn]

As Democrats struggle to come to terms with the results of this week’s election, some young women are looking abroad for inspiration. Women across social media have been exploring an idea called 4B, a protest movement in South Korea that calls for women to boycott men.“Now I am, how you say this, a ho, but I really want to get behind this 4B movement,” begins one TikToker, who goes on to say she approves of women withholding sex from men. “After this election — where women were pretty much told to their faces that no one gives a shit about them — don’t forget, ladies, we do have power. And you know the kind of power I’m talking about. Giving up our bodies to men is a choice. We don’t have to do this.”

The TikTok tag #4bmovement currently has thousands of posts with millions of views, and Google search interest in the term spiked after the election. Some of the social media posters are clearly joking out of a combination of rage, stress, and sadness — but others are more serious.“Once you can get out of your mind that you will not be missing out by engaging in this behavior, you will be better off,” one earnest TikToker says. “I encourage you to reclaim your power and have really honest conversations with yourself about whether being in a romantic relationship with men at this point in time is worth it.”

The tenets of 4B are extremely different from the kinds of feminism that tend to flourish in the US, where popular culture places a premium on choice and empowerment. Mainstream feminist campaigns here usually celebrate women’s ability to make their own decisions and do whatever makes them feel best as individuals.The point of 4B and Escape the Corset, however, is not to make women feel more fulfilled or more at home in their bodies. It is also not to put pressure on men as individuals to reform their ways. The point of 4B is to send a message about the structure of society — to say it’s not acceptable that you are valued only for your fertility and sexual appeal — and to ensure your independence.In an academic paper about the movement, author Hyejung Park translates a 2019 video from the South Korean activist group SOLOdarity: “It is true that tal-corset [Escape the Corset] comes with some inconveniences,” the activists allow. “When your hair is short, you might have to get a haircut more frequently, and you might need to buy a whole new wardrobe for tal-corset. Nevertheless, we practice tal-corset because it is not about being more comfortable. It is about not being a doll, a second-class citizen.”

The idea of refusing to wear skirts for the sake of your politics, even if you like them, is an attitude that has been out of favor in American feminism since the end of the second wave in the 1970s. Still, there is a discipline and a radicalism to this form of activism that you can easily understand feeling attractive for America’s angry young women in this moment. It supposes a world that so emphatically decenters men and their desires for women that men themselves disappear from a woman’s life. After the US elected a symbol of masculine aggression and violence to our highest office for the second time, a person can see the appeal.The idea of such severe and uncompromising protest also makes sense considering the reams of smirking rape jokes that the mere discussion of 4B online has provoked. Many American 4B TikToks have comments from men under them crowing, “Your body, my choice,” a refrain that young fans of far-right influencer Nick Fuentes have reportedly taken to parroting in schools.“[W]omen threatening sex strikes like LMAO as if you have a say,” a post from one X account with 122,000 followers went.

It’s worth remembering, though, that the divide between left and right in this country does not neatly map across gender divides. While we won’t know until later how the numbers break down, early exit polls say 45 percent of all women and 53 percent of white women voted for Trump. Trump surrounds himself with enabling women, and the likes of Marjorie Tyler Greene gleefully shriek misogyny across the floors of Congress.A possible lesson of the Women’s March era — that feminist reaction to the first Trump term — is this: Uniting in a large group as a pure expression of rage is not always sustainable. The Women’s March collapsed because of vicious infighting, which is traditionally what happens to large leftist groups in the US.Perhaps it’s time for American feminism to get specific and disciplined about its action points. 4B is specific and it is disciplined, which is part of what makes it difficult to translate out of its cultural context and into America. It is clear on its goals, which are to take personal autonomy through the force of one’s own denial, rather than to ask for it at the polls or in interpersonal relationships.A line of inquiry American feminists might take from 4B is this: What are you going to work toward? And what are you going to do to get there?

[writingjourney]

I’m in need of some advice and kind words. As a fellow writer I’m really struggling to believe people will and want to read my stuff. There’s no real engagement anymore and I’m worried that if I post my long-form fic that no one will give it a chance. It’s really bringing me down because I love it so much but it feels like no matter what I try to do my stuff just doesn’t get seen or liked? I’ve even thought about changing my entire way of how I do things since I don’t think the way I write is working for the masses. How do you keep up the motivation as a popular writer and do you have an advice?

Hello anon!! I feel like this is something many of us currently deal with. And first of all I seriously hope that you do share your story!! ♡

To be completely honest with you the lack of engagement in the fandom has for sure impacted my own motivation which is why I haven't been putting as much time into longer fics (nor the Friday Nights series or IKNBS, I do write but I refuse to force myself). I don't feel any urgency because uploading fics hasn't made me as happy as it used to. It feels like only other active writers are reading fic atm and it creates a lot of pressure on creatives to stay super active.

I'm aware that I'm insanely privileged to have the engagement that I do have, that the type of stories I want to write are also the type of stories that generally seem to appeal. However, engagement tells you NOTHING about the quality of your work, only how many people are active in a fandom or like a specific pairing/character/trope. Your own unique voice matters more than numbers.

I also notice that a lot of people who used to read my works have disappeared which I completely understand. The fixation can ebb away during times of inactivity or when a certain hype dies down. People just don't get that dopamine hit anymore and move on. It's also entirely possible they get tired of a certain style of writing and prefer other writers at times, what do I know. I definitely don't blame anyone for that. First and foremost people should read for their own enjoyment and engage with fandom in a way that makes them happy. It makes no sense to pressure people into engaging. A huge issue right now is people overthinking these things which makes support transactional instead of genuine.

I don't care much about notes but I REALLY miss the feeling of sharing a fic with people who are excited for it, that sense of an active community. BUT the activity will come back – the movie will come out, new music and videos, heck even a whole new Papa!!! That's the natural flow of things. We can't be excited and super active all the time, we need phases of calmness as well (which is an act of rebellion in the capitalist hellscape of overproduction and churned out content. I am honestly glad Ghost is taking it easy).

Now, I recommend you write your story exactly how you want to!!! do NOT change it for the sake of popularity because it will lose its very soul and you will struggle to be happy with it by the end. You know how you want to tell your story and nothing else matters. It will find its readers or you can wait and share it at a later point. I recommend that you approach other writers and readers and intensify that contact, make friends and talk to them about your stories, hype each other up, share snippets. It's even more meaningful to know people you like enjoy what you do. I am currently working on super niche fics for non-Ghost characters and I'm honestly having a great time chasing that dopamine by just writing what I'm really into and sharing it with friends. Fandom is community, fandom is fun and we can work to make it better for everyone.

A few general tips when it comes to making stories accessible: Format them to be readable (paragraphs!!), add a "read more" break, add proper content information and a nice summary to draw people in, add some visual appeal like a banners or stock image edits (like i do for IKNBS) and then tag the fics with relevant tags (and only those). Also make sure to tag the OG post, tags on reblogs do nothing for reach. Engage with the community when you feel like it and it's likely that the community will engage back. Being supportive is worth it, being kind is always worth it even if it amounts to nothing.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hey uh quick question:

Does Mary Jane canonically have any other past love interests?

I was just thinking how many romantic interests Peter's had in the past.

Mary-Jane being the most popular of them all, followed by Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy (Black Cat), and Betty Brant.

This list also is missing Cindy Moon aka Silk, in which Peter and her had a sexual but not fully romantic relationship.

Then I realized, does Mary Jane have any exes?

Like.. an ex-boyfriend? Or a dude she's actually shown having a full relationship with, like he is with Gwen.

Recently in the comics we got Paul - but he was horribly written, and they glossed over how they got together, the kids they seem to be raising together, etc etc, for the sake of drama.

In Spider-man 2 we see her engaged to John Jameson, but he's a fucking cardboard cutout of a person with barely any plot weight and no relationship development.

I mean REAL exes we see her have a connection or at least complex relationship with - in the way he does Felicia.

Felicia has exes - A LOT. Flash Thompson, her and Cindy Moon have a thing, Matt Murdock, etc.

But then again, Felicia is portrayed as the 'sneaky city girl' and MJ as the lovely loyal faithful girl in the chair back home.

As soon as Peter start irking her Felicia be like:

😭😭😭😭

WHAT ABOUT MJ?!

please don't tell me they're playing my girl.

Peter and her breakup over some weird ass reason like once every run - but no exes??

Am I missing something?

You'd think the insanely talented actress/journalist with the bombshell looks and amazing humor would be having more luck on the dating scene then Peter's broke ass- you know what lemme not 😭😭😭😭

If Peter has a bunch of exes but MJ has none....

[zoobus]

I'm not normally a victim of FOMO tactics, nor do I usually let being late to the party stop me from chatting about a piece of media but I'm genuinely sad I didn't get into Obey Me/Nightbringer earlier. It makes me want to write a million essays but the disposable and decentralized nature of gacha kind of makes it feel like you missed your chance to talk about it. I keep coming across years old, unrepliable comments that I want to jump on sooo bad but I can't because the moment is gone and most of these people have likely moved on to less overtly money-hungry games.

Which sucks! because one essay I want to write in particular is how this game is extremely skilled in arousing your desire to create, to actively engage with the characters and worldbuilding, to do fandom shit, and I find this enormously fascinating in itself. The story isn't good but to a certain extent, it's not supposed to be; it functions as an elaborate set of writing/art/rp prompts for its audience to expand on and tailor to their needs.

And I think Obey Me does this well! Amazingly well. I find discussion of narrative structure fascinating, the study of how we define writing as effective, good, or as failures, so I'm drawn to this story full of contradicting lore, one-note characters, and half-finished plots. The story isn't good but that hardly matters because it's not here to be a good story; it's here to throw you into imagination boot camp. It compels you to speculate what it could be, what this character could be, what a slightly different tone would look like, what other people think about it. It feels distinct from the average popular show fandoms where, to an extent, creators congregate simply because that's where the people are. Creating for your own sake is nice and all but validation is usually a stronger force. Usually.

I keep coming across old high effort researched posts about abrahamic religions and occultism from fans setting themselves up for inevitable disappointment. I keep coming across creators leaving notes on their work like "I haven't written a thing in ten years, but,". I keep losing it over heartfelt posts defending x and y canon story decisions with their whole chest, oblivious to the fact that they're misremembering their personal tweaks/headcanons as what happened in the game, like it's seriously so cute when they're so passionate and completely wrong.

I have no idea if fandom actually plays a role in the lucrativeness of a franchise (though as a personal anecdote, I 100% started Obey Me after a single piece of horny Mammon fanart crossed my dash), but it makes more sense to me now, less a projection of wishful/haterful thinking from those with strong opinions about Fandom. Maybe it really does matter.

---

Other essays I missed the boat on:

A Casino Right in Your Home: goddamn is the pre/sequel's gacha obscene

Satan: how to put a mid character into S-tier with one simple trick (make him insane)

Sorry Belphie defenders but you're imagining a better psycho than you were given

Solmare added a shiny new rhythm game but didn't fix the now four year old coloring error on Levi's hands lmfaooo the disrespect is crazy

Remember when you saw the Nightbringer trailer of them glaring in bdsm gear with freshly blackened wings, and you thought "ah, so this takes place right after they fought god and lost. After they went to war to protect their sister only for her to die anyway. After one brother in particular saves someone, but not her, the focal point of the war. They will finally take these to their logical, guilt despair rage pain and grudge filled ends." And you were correct until that very last sentence? lol

Remember when the Ruri-chan event gave you the option to tell Levi you're not cheating on him and then the rest of the event was just making out with his brothers? Then it ends with you kissing him in front of them? Bring that energy back!!!

[svtminji]

𐙚 ‧ RELATIONSHIPS ─── romantic

I 𝓲. I johnny (nct) x oc ୨୧ jeonghan x oc warning: mentions of a miscarriage in johnny's section

╰ johnny + minji -> johnji popularity: 89% - type of relationship: best friends

johnji : 🌺. ─── basic info.

age difference: six months (feb. 1995 & aug. 1995)

time span: may 2018 - sept. 2019

how it began: since both of them were trainees under sm, they managed to create a bond as they were mainly english speakers. although minji did depart from the company three years prior to johnny’s debut, they managed to stay in contact with each other. after a few years of only seeing each other through a screen, johnny asked out minji and she said yes.

dating announcement: it was announced by dispatch on december 31st, 2018. dispatch stated that the couple had been dating months prior to exposing this.

break-up announcement: all good things must come to an end and the couple had realized that. they loved each other deeply but they knew that in the entertainment industry, dating is looked down upon. both of them made the conscious decision to stop their relationship due to their busy schedules and it was announced by their respective companies.

their relationship now: BESTIES!!! omg i cannot stress this enough. friendship dates & many visits to the dorm. mizuki became friends with all of nct by this

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀𝐉.⠀⠀⠀쟈니

johnji : 🌺. ─── etc.

how the public responded: people criticized both of them due to their two-three year dating ban once debuting. they later accepted that their hate couldn’t break them from loving each other. some netizens still criticized minji for being lazy enough about her career.

reason they broke up: the tough schedule between idols dating was easy enough for them to manage. though both nct & svt were getting popular during this time and it lead to them seeing less and less of each other. they both made the conscious decision to break up for the sake of their careers because minji was receiving much stress from the upcoming tour. the pair ended in good terms and still see each other as something that was long ago.

during the time they were dating, minji had morning sickness which led to a pregnancy test. it had came back positive and it was exciting news for the couple. although the sudden news was early in their relationship, both of them knew that they would definitely be good parents. minji and johnny both ended up with the name sienna for their babygirl, or hyunwoo for their babyboy; yet their dreams of having a family would end up shattered.

a song that represents them: best friend - rex orange country & sienna - mizuki

╰ jeonghan + minji -> jeongmi popularity: 101% - type of relationship: engaged besties

jeongmi: 🌺. ─── basic info.

age difference: three months (aug. 1995 & oct. 1995)

time span: nov. 2020 - present

how it began: after a few years of on-and-off flirting and flings, mizuki realized how much she really missed him on nights when she was alone. he was her other half and they were always stuck together like glue.

dating announcement: as always the couple was exposed by their favorite news reporter, dispatch. yet dispatch was not the first signs of their dating accusations. their first stages of trying out new things began with a soft launch. saesangs & carats would see them two by themselves going on "friend dates". although dispatch was the one to announce it, both of them properly announced their relationship once they felt it was time for everyone to understand their relationship. january 6th, 2021 was the day they announced it.

engagement announcement: the couple announced their engagement on february 15th, 2023. both minji and jeonghan had made an instagram post celebrating their engagement, with their comments disabled. although many fans were happy, some netizens had their concerns about the future of seventeen.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀𝐉.⠀⠀⠀정한

jeongmi: 🌺. ─── etc.

how the public responded: many netizens supported it as they were both getting into the age of settling down and placing roots. though, a few people slut-shamed minji for dating a fellow member but was later thrown off due to the massive support.

q&a: do they see having kids in the future? yes, both of them have ... :3 and they always talk about their relationship regarding the future. although minji might have some unresolved pain from a prior pregnancy, she does not mind trying once again to have a child.

a song that represents them -> style - taylor swift & kingston - faye webster

lol i decided to update this post bc the layout was HORRENDUS. omg... never again. i cant spell but thank you for either reading or rereading!

[circular-bircular]

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Alright, now that I’ve sat for a bit with my thoughts, got food, and destressed some…

Thoughts are going under a cut. This is all just ramblings and musings in regards to syscourse. Don’t take it too seriously.

I am sick and tired of the “sides of syscourse” bullshit. There aren’t sides. The sides are completely arbitrarily decided by those who tout themselves as leaders of the community, and if they don’t do so themselves, they are held up as paragons by those who regurgitate their disgusting displays in attempts at coherent thought.

I do mean that in regards to “all sides.” There are some of those who follow me who sicken me with how they attempt to interpret my words.

But then there are those who also engage with conversation, when possible. There are those who attempt to further conversations. And there’s those who are just trying their best, to understand or to learn more.

I’m… frustrated. Mostly that I can’t exist without this. It’s my entire disorder. I can either exist openly online as a DID system while participating in syscourse, or I can’t be online as a DID system. I can’t have a blog about my experiences without having to bring Endogenic systems into it, in some way.

I see my endogenic friends struggling right now due to fakeclaiming, and that’s hell. But I also see endogenic systems saying, “anti-endos have no idea what it’s like, having people tell you each day that they hate you or that you don’t exist!” And I know they mean me. Because they believe anti-endo means CDD.

I’m a CDD system. I’ve got DID. I struggle with it. And each and every day, I see more and more people who are trying to punch at the anti-endos doing things that directly impact me, as someone who isn’t a fucking anti-endo. As someone who isn't even pro-endo anymore. I'm not anti or pro anything! I'M JUST TRYING TO FUCKING EXIST.

The ToSD is real and valid, regardless of who participated in the writing and popularization of it. There’s plenty of research that supports it. Attacking the ToSD is not attacking anti-endos. It’s attacking CDD systems.

DID is a trauma only disorder. You cannot have DID without having repeated childhood trauma. You do not need to hate your system or be disordered by your plural aspects of self to have DID, and anyone saying otherwise is ignoring even the DSM. Attacking DID diagnostic criteria is not attacking anti-endos. It's attacking CDD systems.

Anyone, at all, who harasses anyone else, is either a troll, or hurting. They aren’t fucking evil. They aren’t irredeemable. They’re certainly a damn sight more than a fucking parasite — how in the goddamn insurmountable levels of hell do you think it’s appropriate to compare living, breathing human beings to parasites, and deem them worse and lesser? What gives you the right to treat others like this?

For fucks goddamn sake, I just want to live. I just want to survive with this disorder online. I want to talk about my experiences. But every single goddamn time I’ve tried, I get caught in this loop.

First, it was pro-endos, insisting I was valid while gaslighting me and harassing me into thinking I didn’t have goddamn trauma.

Then, it was anti-endos, insisting my hurt was valid while demonizing the pro-endos who hurt me first.

Then it was all of you fuckers, every single person in syscourse — yes, even you — who perpetuated these cycles. And the thing is, I’m not blaming you, I’m not upset with you; it’s just fucking impossible to avoid at this point!!

And the thing is, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave this place. I’ve spent a goddamn decade trying to carve out a hole for myself to hide in here. This became my home for so goddamn long because I didn’t have one of my own. And god, I have made a lot of connections here, people who I would miss. People who I DO miss.

But you all make it so damn difficult. Pro-endos hurting me more each day. Anti-endos hurting my friends and taking the battling gun approach to fighting ableism.

I’m so tired.

I’m just. So goddamn tired.

I think that’s all I’ve got in me right now. That’s all the energy I can muster for this. At least it’s words that count toward my daily total, right?

[utilitycaster]

not to be all “only i like my blorbo correctly”, but i’m fully convinced that certain people would hate Imogen as a character if they actually engaged with her outside of “conventionally attractive sadgirl that’s one half of an aesthetically pleasing queer ship”. fully believe that if she looked like Chetney or Ashton or even Fearne, and didn’t come with a prepackaged ship, people would be forced to look at her as the complex, unique loose cannon that she is

Hey anon, I agree with much of this and I hope you don't mind if I go on what might be one of my weirder tangents/theories but this has been percolating for a few weeks and I think I've cracked the secret to one of the more toxic segments of the fandom.

I definitely think that if Imogen were not a woman, a lot of people would hate her (granted, a different group of people who hate her now would probably like her more if she were a man, because misogyny is extremely extant outside of the bubble, and even a little bit within the bubble, that is Tumblr). However, they'd be fine if she looked like Fearne...but many wouldn't be fine if she were also played by Ashley. Or yeah, if she weren't easily shipped with Marisha's character.

Here's the deal. When I and a number of other people were like "oh hey! Imogen is not really taking other people's feelings into consideration and is being rather insensitive about the Ruby Vanguard, given that they've killed half the party, particularly since she's literally known Laudna like 10 times longer than she's know her mother was alive" the attitude was "wow, you hate Imogen, you hate women, you're so unfair" and yet now, at a table that is half women (and a group of characters that literally has only one man) everyone who thought I hate Imogen and how if she were a man everyone would care is now literally just mostly ignoring her (and honestly like, everything) and instead constantly whining about how they miss Laudna. Which is frankly weak as hell, like, anyone who's loved Pike or Yasha is like "oh you must be new here", and at least people talking about Travis being missing during the gap between Bertrand's death and Chetney's arrival were making good memes. But I digress.

My theory, which I do admit is the most tin-foil hat I think I've gone, comes from some polls I've seen circulating complaining about queerbaiting in past shows, and also my recent interest in Glee as ground zero of really horrible fandom behaviors (thanks to people who have provided insight into that!) Anyway. I recently learned that apparently Quinn and Rachel was a really popular ship, for reasons I cannot, for the sake of what little decorum and kindness I am maintaining here, speculate on. Setting aside that this is not queerbaiting and it's wildly inappropriate and damaging to say it was, given that this show was full of queer characters and Quinn was shown hooking up with a woman, this has in fact clicked into place for me why people constantly ship Marisha and Laura's characters despite chemistry that is inconsistent at best and tepid on average. It's not terribly hard to draw lines from Quinn to Vex and Rachel to Keyleth, especially if you consider how fanon tends to handle these archetypes. Then they transferred this to just Laura and Marisha's characters in general, and here we are, and man if it hasn't gotten even more flavorless with every transfer.

So anyway yeah a lot of people really don't like Imogen much as a character unless they can project onto her, but because she's half of The Ship, they also will not tolerate any exploration of her flaws that could threaten The Ship and so they need to remove her agency and blame it on various rocks instead of Imogen being cranky and impatient as a person (like, again, if you want to interpret her powers as chronic pain, why are you not allowed to grant her the same complexity as Ashton, who is also cranky and impulsive?) But really the kicker is that if Marisha isn't physically onscreen, they start acting like a cat you locked out of the bathroom and simultaneously forget they're supposed to care about or enjoy Imogen as an individual.

[theygotbitchesinmedia]

also yeah murderbot is like . it’s fun? but it’s not doing much for me that other books don’t do better . other books On This List even

sorry i literally just sent u an ask abt how murderbot does nothing for me but like the whole premise of this blog & especially the baru context of the poll is Women With Problems and murderbot is really like . granted i haven’t finished the series so i may be missing something but. where are they! where are the women with problems!! murderbot itself is a fun character but doesn’t qualify to me in that way. it’s doing a different thing. other books have characters that aren’t women but still manage to scratch that itch for me (see: breq from imperial radch, who is a spaceship & also from a culture that makes no gender distinctions)

well i will say that women with problems is not Necessarily the point of this blog as so much as it is the natural outcome of this blog, because its hard to write engaging characters that don't have any problems, for obvious reason.

based on what people have said i dont think the murderbot diaries are going to be super up my alley, but they're popular enough and have been recommended enough that i'd consider reading at least some of them for the sake of being able to articulate why this is so. plus if there's one thing i have learned over my years of tumblr blogging it's that part of my niche is letting people watch me complain about stuff

all this to say that if it wins the poll by a significant margin ill definitely give it a whirl and go in with an open mind, but i'm not expecting it to be lifechanging

[lemonynesser]

this is a recount of my reactions throughout the following video:

“Oh! A negative Undertale review? And it was made around the time people were getting tired of it? I know a lot of popular things go through that stage where everyone hates on it for some reason, but I’m sure it has to contain a few valid points, at least.”

“Oh, the… comments are disabled. Ok, maybe he had em off by default, or he was just swarmed by rabid fans! I know the fans were a bit crazy in the early days. I’ll just look in the description, there’s usually an explanation there.”

Comments disabled because I'm very, very tired of the same old crap being said over and over, plus it's apparently against the law for a creator to comment on their own video after a certain amount of time.

“Ok, guess that settles it. [scrolls down a bit more, for curiosity’s sake]”

UPDATE: I can't say I've missed the comment section for this video one bit. Having zero interaction with Undertale fanatics, their zoomer style morals and their speaking habits has been utterly wonderful.

“…well, I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a bit of a red flag, but I still believe you can make a good video!”

“Ok, the intro was good, and I’m glad he said he didn’t have anything against fans!”

“Good basic plot synopsis… Ah, he doesn’t like Earthbound, that explains some things.”

“Wait, he didn’t like Earthbound for its boring combat? That’s one of the things that Undertale improved on though!”

“That’s fair, gameplay is incredibly important to a game. (it’s called gameplay for a reason lol)”

“What do you mean there isn’t any depth to Undertale compared to “the average JRPG”? Aren’t most of the more traditional jrpgs just your move, enemy move, your move, enemy move ad nauseam? Honestly, I think Undertale has more depth involved, because even with your normal attack, there’s a little minigame you have to do for more damage, which changes with each weapon you equip!”

“Ok, fine, that’s one point I don’t think was that good. But hey, maybe he just plays a ton of mechanically in-depth jrpgs, and i’m uneducated, I’m willing to admit I’ve not played many jrpgs myself. Plus, I’m only a couple of minutes in, the points can only get better from here, surely!”

“Ok, that is fair, the game is pretty easy (at least on the non-geno routes), and both sparing and killing normal enemies is pretty easy too.”

“While the bosses have some of the most interesting patterns in the game, I’d say that another interesting thing in this game is when more than one enemy is in the same encounter together, so their patterns are added together. Makes for a more engaging fight, imo.”

“Firstly, Toriel is literally the first boss in the game, of course she’d be less deadly than the rest. Second, the only real mechanical differences between Papyrus capturing you, and actually killing you is you respawn somewhere else, your items don’t come back, and he remembers you lost to him. Otherwise, it’s functionally the exact same as dying. Lastly, being unable to die in the Adriel fight is meant to be an engaging ad powerful moment, but once again, it doesn’t really matter, as the fight uses a somewhat sparse checkpoint system, restarting you at the last checkpoint you hit. Which functions, once again, pretty similarly to actually dying. Only difference being you restart from in the battle itself, rather than at your save point.”

“I assume he’s talking about the sans boss fight being the only fight being somewhat challenging. But he did say it was “on the route to” the worst ending, and not at the end of it, so maybe he just misgendered Undyne? Regardless, I’d still say there are 2-3 actually challenging bosses in the game (sans, Undying, and Asgore) (also to some extent Omega Flowey but the game rigs the fight so much in your favor it’s almost funny).”

“Simple puzzles? tell that to the core spaceship puzzles lol”

“Something tougher or more inventive? Doesn’t the game come up with me puzzles and overworld things every section?”

“Glad to hear he isn’t against story. Also yeah the AA games are great.”

“That’s an interesting way of judging a game, asking yourself ‘Would I like this game if it was a person?’”

“aaand he’s just bashing on tumblr users and “sjw”s now. i will give him one thing though, he’s right, if Undertale was a person, it would use tumblr.”

“I feel like saying the games’ characters are just caricatures is a bit “missing the forest for the trees” so to speak.”

“Except some of Papyrus’s traps do work? And him being a lovable dim-witted goofball makes him a really likable character imo.”

“Surprisingly, I didn’t get a vibe of “internet savvy” from a lot of the game, except for like, Alphys and her anime stuff.”

“Oh, right, the Temmies do talk like that, which is sorta indicative of the internet I guess.”

“w

what

are you telling me,

that you don’t like sans

because he says the word

“welp”??

not only that, but you imply that the word welp is some “new fangled slang” instead of a word that’s been in use for as long as i can remember??? i feel like i just got slapped into an alternant timeline by a whole roll of salami. did i miss when “welp” was young person/internet slang or is this guy just unhinged?”

“bro… why are u comparing alphys with francis from super paper mario bro, the game is 10 ears older than ut bro. bro why are you making it about gender when they’re just different characters bro. also alphys was originally a guy iirc bro. stop making this weird bro”

“yea ur right, a lot of ppl don’t like alphys because she’s annoying (fair but still)”

“that’s the thing. if you don’t find the characters interesting or engaging on even a surface level, you are not the target audience. period.”

“actually there’s technically a few neutral endings where it’s heavily implied she kills herself, so yeah you can (technically) kill alphys …why am j even talking about this”

“the only time the game really hammers home how much of a piece of shit you are for killing monsters, is in the genò route and i’m sorry, you can call that route many things, but “self defense” is not one of them. all sans does in the neutral route is tell you the true meaning of EXP and LOVE, and asks you to reflect, before dipping and saying he’s rooting for you, (unless you killed his brother but, you litterally can’t kill papyrus before he spares you, so that kill wasn’t in self-defense either). also, you can spare enemies when you attack them enough, so attacking “in self-defense” is actually rewarded with a spare! and if the enemy is straight up allowing you to spare them, basically telling you they don’t wanna fight no more, killing them then is not in self-defense anymore. this is such a shallow point, it feels more like a gut reaction than an actual criticism”

“you make fun of people saying welp, then out of nowhere drop the word “mawkish”, that’s kinda funny. but seriously, of course the endings not gonna effect you, you fuckin moron! you aren’t attached to any of the characters! which is litterally what the story rides on!”

“the fuck do you mean ‘tries too hard’”

“boiling undertales story down to “friendship is magic” is almost as bad a take as boiling it down to “killing is bad”. plus, what? do you want games about bringing our fellow man down instead of lifting them up?”

“damn, i guess i was almost right on the money huh?”

“once again. the lesson of undertale is not just “killing is bad”, nor is it just “rpg leveling systems are bad”, good god what are you smoking, and can you tell me what it is so i can stay as far away from it as possible? thanks! the game never said you shouldn’t enjoy this type of gameplay, nor is it saying you should feel bad if you do. all it’s trying to do is answer the questions “what if i could solve these battles peacefully” and “how would rpg characters, and their world, react to you grinding them?” nothing less,”

“no. not every part of every video game is designed to be fun. sometimes it’s designed to make a point (a la ut geno route), sometimes it’s to make the player deliberately feel uncomfortable and question their actions (a la spec ops the line), sometimes it’s to exploit players into spending money on microtransactions (a la almost every mobile game ever). in short, it’s not always about the fun, whoisthisgit… it’s about the mETS BABY LOBE THE METS ALRIGHT BABY GET A HOME RU”

“wow, it’s over…”

“…”

“…damn i really hate that guy.”

i hope you enjoyed this decent into madness, i sure didn’t

if you’re ok with giving this guy like $0.0002 in ad revenue, i’d recommend watching the video while reading my comments, theyle make a lot more sense then

welp, buy