#idk man i dont know what else to say
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so many interpretations and quotes going on in my head, but all i can articulate is mc is obviously xav’s goal to weather the storm
#man really said#i don’t care how it ends#i just know that i want to live as much as i can with you#francesca by hozier is playing in my head now thanks#lads#lads xavier#mc is a lighthouse etc etc#life isnt about what you do but who you do it with#that song titled ‘feel again’#‘so my darling’ energy#idk man i dont know what else to say#ive never lived anyone to the point of living centuries/multiple lifetimes and loving them to the point that my yearning triumps literally#everything else in existence#like man talk likes all that is worth it#just for the hope that it would be a good ending for once#and if not for that#then for the sake of being able to hope at all#ramblings
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i feel like im going insane
#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#ragh barkrock#thistlerock#goragh#yeah sure i will feed this ship#i have more fantasy high art i just have been drawing gorgug a lot and particularly liked this one a lot#i watched ep 16 (not normal about ep 16)#did you know gorgug has two hands#PS I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHILST DRAWING GORGUG HE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT FROM HIS OFFICIAL ART#IDK MAN. I LIKE DRAWING HIM THAT WAY#he gets more hair added on the more i draw him#the most bi disaster ever#i feel a little self conscious but im allowed to be happy sometimes. ehatever.my joy#oh god. what else was i gonna say. oh right guess who got hyperfixated on another d&d show#and i latched onto the character who gets called a freak all the time i wonder what that says about m#sorry. sorry. sorr#WHAT ALSO GETS ME IS THAT THEY WWRE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACHOTHER MOMENTS BEFORE THIS#im so ready for season two (<- is not ready)#potatart
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I have many wally photos for practice and only use one or two. Might be a waste of storage but I think my phone can handle it. ANYWAY LOOK AT THE WALLET
Oh yeah and girt (idk why gir is there but it's fine because it's gir)
#welcome home#wally darling#partycoffin#invader zim gir#im sooooo bored and dont know what to doooo#I KNOW I HAVE WORK TO DO BUT AUGGGHH#(not actual work but i mean i need to do some art for my friends fnf mod)#hehe doodie#its happening again i used to draw my little pony practice until i think it looks a bit accurate to the show#i will practice more of the silly ponys but MAN AAAAAA idk what else to say
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annoying conversations happening on twitter this week about dazai and his canonical whoreness .... very ableist delivery of people treating him like a tiny 22 yr old minor who clearly doesn't know what sex is and its getting weeeeeiirrrrd ...........
#like idk and idc about other peoples perceptions but to me dazai fucks#its in the source material regarding the fact that hes a DOG and nobody understands how he manages to charm women#women send him love notes to the office bcs he doesnt give out his address......uses sex as a tool and people can infer what they want#but i dont have it has having any nefarious meaning other than he knows himself well and how to get what he wants#and (in MY mind) enjoys it :p#he says he appreciates ALLLL women#women being official the source content but to me he's a man with no preference :p#what i find ableist is the notion that someone with clear though unstated mental illnesses must be “protected” and “he doesnt know what#sex is" like come on. we read the same stuff#youre saying it because you think it gets in the way of ur fav ships that he whores around#well guess what!!!!! he does!!!!!#so what!!!!!! live with it!!!!!! everyone else has to!!!!!#women cry in the source content and i infer that to be bcs he just straight up ghosts them after#maybe he sees a couple of people a few times but for the most part#he dips </3#but we dont need to pretend hes innocent and like#sex - afraid#im tirrredddd of these takes they stink and theyre not fun to read#tldr: my dazai fucks (and WANTS TO!!!!!!!! SEEKS IT OUT!!!! ENJOYS IT!!!! SKILLED LOVER THAT U CANT HAVE!!!!)#(unless u get him.....then hes devoted teehee<3)#enuff said i think#ACTUALLY FURTHER POINT. hes a flirt and a whore. PROUD!!!!!!!!!#he gives u the eyes and he'll have u wrapped around his fingerrrr anyway. thats it now
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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every time i start to think things might be looking up with my dad some bullshit happens that makes the guilt kick right back in again
#thots et al#googles 'is it possible to save your father'#he was just starting to get more exercise and feel healthier and he says he broke his toe???#i just dont know what to do man#i already blame myself for his most recent episode because i didnt care for him enough#and im gonna blame myself for whatever happens next too#because every day i go around knowing full well my father is miserable and alone but being too selfish to care enough to visit#i just finally made a date with him too#idk man#lately not a lot makes me full-on cry but thinking of him is so fucking painful im always crying over him#i wish i knew how to deal with this#i wish i didnt have so many good memories of him despite the bad cuz then i wouldnt care#and yet... i dont care... do i?#because if i did i would do something. right?#at least thats what people say#ive never exactly understood this sort of thing#i think nothing is more terrifying than the physical degradation of old age-- nothing else scares me so much about it#but eventually you grow old and there is no one left#yet still the young shun you#yet still your own daughter shuns you
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need#cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify#and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head
#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow#i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect#hEeEeLP MEeEeEE#i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me#SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK#i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn#like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid#plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask#i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is#or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever#okay speakijg of his face reveal#i have something i want to explain to the wall#a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488#the rest of me is neutral because idrc#the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features#it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all#idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it#I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character#that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much#but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling#anyway back to what i was saying#hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl#IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY#DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN#i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U#IM SO NORMAL#also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE#DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY
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Nothing to say, just- 🤓☝
#pawpatrol#pawpatrolryder#paw#patrol#drawing#my skecth#skecthes#nothing to add#nothing to say#nothing to worry about#idk what else to tag#idk what im doing#idk how to tag this#idk man#oh well#i dont know#idk#idk why#whatever#paint to sai 2#paw patrol fanart#fanart#my fanart#awesome art#im done
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So considering the Persona 5 X Yakuza Collab with the outfits, I kept wondering in who Akechi and Sumire would be cosplaying as, I decided that Akechi should be thrown into Daigo’s suit and Sumire, maybe have her cosplay as Akame from Yakuza Gaiden.
sumire can be akame this is acceptable but i dont know how you could overlook the suit of the dead brunette orphan that starts off disliking the protagonist only to sacrifice himself to protect the protagonist and his ally/allies akechi could steal
#snap chats#just remembered the akechi date mod from p5. i only saw some screenshots of it but whoever made that needs a billion dollars#its so in character ... i dont even fucks with akechi that much and yet im enthralled ....#you could also say they both have something to do with justice but ig thats if you wanted to compare their definitions of justice vjEARLKJV#gonna throw up as i remember my RJ course What Is Justice man i dont fuckin know What IS Justice indeed#idk .. at the very least i did always think if mine had to have a tarot justice would fit him well#i repeat. it also aligns with justice arcanas being brunette orphans LKVJAELKVJ but anyway#or at least having a dead parent bye#mine baby im so sorry but if akechi had to steal someones clothes itd be yours i fear#they arent similar in character but theres enough similar beats to make me giggle just a lil#i say this as if ann has anything in common with majima and yusuke anything in common with akiyama CVLCAKJCLKAJ#listen everyone else is pretty solid alright. im thinking too much about this#akechi with daigos suit would be funny considering akira's kiryu vjlaekvjlaekj
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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i am becoming increasingly sure as time goes on that my gender is Not Cis but its like. not enough for me to do anything like god forbid tell my parents. not bc they wouldn't be ACCEPTING but because i don't feel like they'd UNDERSTAND and trying to explain it to them would be too much work when i A) barely even know how to describe it to MYSELF and B) feel comfortable enough being described as a woman/girl/female/whatever. like if im fine enough being called a girl and im comfortable in my body and don't yet feel a need to use pronouns other than she/her then what's the point of trying to explain to my mom that i find the concept of gender pretty much inapplicable to myself/kind of confining and i feel more like an amorphous forest creature than a Girl and i wouldnt mind being perceived more masculine sometimes by society at large and gender questions on forms make me uncomfortable because i'm never totally sure what to answer.
#the other day i was filling out a housing application with my parents and i noticed rhey had a TON of gender options (which rocks)#and i went back to check them out and said out loud 'i just wanted to see what they were since they had so many'#and my mom goes 'well it doesnt matter since you dont identify as anything else' (i picked woman)#and i just. felt so mildy uncomfortable. because like. shes not WRONG. i havent TOLD HER if i identify as anything else because i don't KNO#like. if i pick woman it feels a little weird and not entirely correct but if i think about picking genderqueer or something it ALSO feels#weird because it feels like im not not-woman enough to PICK something else#its just fucking weird man#and like. i know if i TRIED to explain she would hear me out and be accepting and loving and everything because she rocks#but i dont wanna make her SAD or make her feel like she needs to treat me any differently because she DOESNT#(sad because shes expressed in the past that the worst possible thing she cannimagine is her child feeling uncomfortable in their own skin)#(which i DONT i feel VERY COMFORTABLE in my skin. i LIKE my skin and my body and everything that comes with it.)#(but like. idk how to SAY THAT$#)#(and i dont feel any of this intensely enough for explaining it to be WORTH IT)#ugh.#UGH#magpie thoughts#gender tag
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I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe
so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3
#waterfalltalks#hi i am in LOVE with this man even tho hes like idk 30 years my senior#hes also fictional so <3 its fine <3 is what i tell myself <3 and its true <3 so its okay that i tell myself this <3#what can i say okay he hits EVERY one of my boxes and has a charming smile while he does it#literal sunshine but clouded with the most beautiful darkness like hello sir#also one canon and it wasnt the best and it wasnt a lot and it was from the back but you know what sometimes we starve#so the fact im not going completely without is good enough for me and i will live nicely in this world#i do not know if i will write for him but i cannot find ANYTHING for this man so i might have to just do it myself#will anyone else care? no. does that matter to me? nope hes my beloved and i want c o n t e n t#only thing stopping me rn is free time and confidence that i have his mannerisms down#maybe after i rewatch it <3 again <3 and watch many edits <3 and maybe make a few edits <3#anyways if you bothered to read this far uh- thank you? im sorry? dont mind me just losing it over my newest guy <3 you get how it is <3#(i hope <3) anyways yes thank you!! bye!! i will go sit in a corner and think about my man <3#not snz
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been unspeakably horny for like 3 weeks straight im starting to get scared. well anyway. happy year
#scared bc for some reason my brain keeps forcing images of one of my coworker's into my periphery and i do NOT like him like that !!!!!#for once i can confidently say i am not into this man at all in the slightest so i need this to cease before i drive myself insane 🙏#one time like many many months ago idek how long ago me and him and someone else were talking in the office and#idk what it was the angle we were standing or the lighting idk what but he fluttered his little eyelashes and i got instantly wet#it was so weird and sudden and most of all unconscious that i had to walk away#usually i'd have to establish To Myself . In My Brain that im attracted to someone before i have a bodily reaction to them if thatmakessense#ever since then i have been. concerned#but anyway hes a 30-something receding hairline doomer libertarian former army guy. so NO !!!!!!!!#on the other hand he's got rich lesbian moms who already like me 🤔 on the other hand they are old republican white ladies.#on the one hand he's always pretty nice to me even when i dont deserve it and he says yes ma'am when i ask him to do things 👀#on the other hand he will adjust his balls no matter the situation or setting it pisses me off every time.#AND HE STINKS sometimes which is probably the worst of all#but above all else he is the spitting image (and personality) of charlie kelly . truly a mixed bag#anyway i think the scary part is i do think that if i really truly wanted to i could fuck him at a moment's notice i get the feeling he'd be#down. but with all the negatives ik i dont actually want to im just lonely and want some validation more than anything else#so i shant do a thing about it. but tell that to my pussy!#2025: i am mature now. but i be knowing things.
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GULP i am now getting cold feet abt posting something on tumblr that isn't an opinion or silly goofball post 😨
this makes me wanna jump im NAWT joe king bro , why me dude ?
genuinly how do so many authors on here post with he confidence yjay A. that shit is gonna get read by someone and B, that people are gonna even like it. ????
#tell me your secrets#tell me your thoughts#right neow#NEOW I SAY#I'm too stressed Abt a silly fanfic omg#feel the urge to jump#maybe I shouldn't#idk#mrs chonk speaks#ps5#anime#beauty#cod#photography#arcane#sevika#idk how to tag this#idk man#idk what else to tag#idk what im doing#oh well#i dont know#how do i tag this
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god sometimes im just so embarrassed to be alive lol
#cupid.txt#i try desprately to walk the fine line where i speak out but dont do it too much#but fuck sometimes everything i say later drives me wacky#when i know no one else cares or minds probably but.........what if they do??? what if they think im weird....which i am...#but in a bad way???#idk man i get the after-social-event-jitters and it was a virtual thing where i didnt even have to speak much#but i did and now i regret it#bc im a foooool a clown a freak a weird a creep what the hell am i doing here#anyway i gotta go to therapy lol
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