#i watched ep 16 (not normal about ep 16)

[potatobugz]

i feel like im going insane

[manic-pixie-dream-dude]

I've been watching/reading Death Note every once in a while for the last couple of months and this is the funniest most unserious serious anime ever.

[idunnoanymore7]

Freezer

Description: If you get locked in the walk-in freezer with your hot boss, you need to warm up somehow.

Content: carmy x reader (no use of y/n), injury(cut finger) and mention of blood, sort of enemies to lovers, oral f!receiving, fingering, unprotected piv sex, dirty talk, use of pet names

Author’s Note: I need him IN MY BONES. i wrote this before watching the ep when this happens LOL. also i love feedback if you want to leave it! <3

——————————————————

It started as a normal day of work-as in Carmy was yelling, Richie was an asshole, and Sydney was solving everything.

It ended up being an intense day for an unofficial kitchen assistant. There was a large rush of customers at lunch, leaving Carmy’s veins to protrude as he yelled at everyone to make more food. 

“50 more beef, 20 veggie, 16 everything chefs!”

“Heard, chef!” The kitchen chorused back. 

He called your name.

“Yes, chef?” 

“I need the two slabs of beef left in the fridge, and then you need to go drive and get more.”

“Heard, chef,” you say, writing the instructions down quickly on your notepad.

Carmy was already gone, at his station picking up the pound of beef. You stared as his bicep curved out, his hand flexed and gripped the bag. You were interrupted by-

“Chef! I need those tomatoes!” Sydney said. “They have to be in the pot in 5!”

Fuck-the tomatoes you were chopping for Sydney’s sauce before this meeting started. 

“Yes chef!” 

“And we’re talking about whatever that was later!” she said. You tense as you realize she saw you gawking.

“Syyyyd!” You whine. She grins.

“Get to work!” Carmy hollers from around a corner, and you dash back to the sink.

You had finished half of the ten tomatoes sydney requested. You picked up the knife and got to work on the 6th of the bunch.

You were mindlessly chopping for maybe a minute before someone slammed into your back, knocking you forward and causing you to slice your finger.

“Fuck!” you gasped. You whirled around to see who it was. “Say behind!”

Of course. Richie. He looked down at you  and his lip curled. 

“Not my fault! Pay more attention next time.”

He stalked off, rolling his eyes. 

Whatever, you didn’t have time for this. Luckily no blood got on the tomatoes, so you wrapped the cut in paper towel and got back to work careful to keep that finger away from the food. You slid the cut up food into a bowl and carried it to Sydney, placing it next to her.

“Thanks, chef,” she said, checking the tomatoes.

“Of course, chef.”

“Whoa, you good?” she said, noticing your finger. 

“Yeah, I’ll fix it after I finish,” you said.

“Okay..” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Be careful.”

“I will, chef!” You say, already heading to the freezer. “Corner!”

You reached the freezer and pulled open the door to slip inside, looking for the beef Carmy had asked for.

“Ah!” You jumped, shoulder blade hitting the metal shelf. Carmy startled from the racks he was leaning on. 

“What the fuck?” He leaned on the door to steady himself; pushing it closed. 

“Fuck-sorry chef,” You said quickly. “I didn’t know you were in here.”

“Clearly,” he groaned, tipping his head back against the shelf. You could feel the shame burning up your chest and sternum. 

“Just get your stuff and go, okay?” 

You nodded and leaned over, right hand on the metal coils as you looked for the beef on the bottom shelf.

“It’s right there,” he said angrily, gesturing to the slab. Great day so far. You cut yourself and now your workplace crush was yelling at you. Like you could focus when he was right there. You could feel his body heat.

You gripped the plastic and lifted the meat into the crook of your left arm. Hefting it up, you turned and reached for the door handle, avoiding eye contact with Carmy. 

You pulled the handle. Nothing happened. What?

You tried again. Still nothing more than a slight jiggle, and the door didn’t budge. 

“What the fuck?” You mumbled.

“Let me try,” he said, moving into your space. His wide shoulders brushed against you, reminding you of all that manliness and what you wanted it to do to you.

You stepped back, the weight of the beef (and your attraction to Carmy) already starting to burn. You switched arms as he yanked hard on the handle, bicep and shoulder muscles flexing. He added his other hand and pulled down and back. Nothing.

This could not be happening. You can’t be stuck in here with Carmy. He’ll eat you alive, and not in the way you wanted. You couldn’t stand the thought of the cause of that twist in your gut hating you.

“Fuck!” he yelled, slamming his fist against the door. “Richie! Syd!”

You both knew the door was metal, several inches thick. They’d have to be close to hear him. 

You gasped and set the beef back so you could curl your arms around yourself. Carmy whirled around.

“You fucking locked us in here!” he said, pointing at you.

“Me?!” You yelled back. “It’s not my fault the door jammed!”

“Yes it is!” he fired back. “This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t come in here!”

“I was getting the fucking beef you asked me for!” You screamed back.

He was about to respond when you heard muffled voices outside. 

“Syd!” You called out.

“Cousin!” He yelled at the same time.

“What’re you guys doing in there?” you hear Sydney say through the door. 

“The fucking door won’t open!” Carmy exclaimed. “Get us out!”

The handle shook, then shook more violently.

“I think it’s jammed!” came Richie’s yell.

“No shit, Sherlock,” you mumble.

Carmy looks at you out of the corner of his eye before turning back. “So can you fix it?”

“Um, not sure,” came his cousin’s reply. “I think we need to get Fak…”

“Fuck!” Carmy exclaimed louder, pushing his tattooed hands through his hair. “It’s lunch rush! I cant be stuck in here!”

“I’d also like to be outside!” You add.

“It’s okay chef,” Sydney’s voice responds. “I’ll keep us on task while Richie works to get you out. We won’t fall behind.”

“I got this, cousin!” Richie says.

Carmy sighs and leans his head against the freezer door, resting his hands on it.

“Good, chef. You’ll have a limited menu since our meat is in here.”

“On it Chef. We were due for a shipment anyway.”

“Thank you chef. An-“

Sydney cuts him off saying your name. “Just breathe, okay? We’ll get you out as soon as possible.”

“Thank you Syd,” you reply, feeling grateful for her ability to take charge.

“Oh! And I’ll slip a bandage under the door!”

“Ahhh thank you,” You respond with relief, looking down at the paper towel that was almost completely red.

That caught Carmy’s attention. His head whipped around to look at you as her footsteps pattered away.

“You good?”

You looked at him in surprise. “Yeah…just cut my finger.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “You have to be careful. We can’t be losing manpower.”

You glared. “Richie slammed into me. My carefulness didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Here you go,” Syd said as she slid the bandaid under the door. “Fak will be here in an hour or so.”

“What?” you exclaim at the same time.

“Apparently he likes to go to a specific movie theater an hour away. I don’t fucking know.” 

You groan along with Carmy.

You slid down to sit on the cement floor and set about trying to open the bandage, but hissed when it slid across your cut. 

Carmy sighed. “Let me help you with that.”

“I got it, thanks. Isn’t it because I wasn’t careful enough, anyway?” You say.

“You can’t blame me for trying to keep the restaurant running.”

“Thanks for the sympathy.”

“Just let me do it.”

Carmy lowered himself to the floor, leaning back on his haunches. The image of this larger-than-life man on his knees for you made you slow, handing over the bandage.

He took it and began to unwrap. 

“I know you’re careful,” he says into his hands.

“Huh?” you ask in surprise.

He looks up at you, those beautiful blue eyes upping your heart rate. “I know you’re careful. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

Oh fuck. New reason why you couldn’t stay in here. You were gonna fall in love with him.

The praise makes you smile, and his face seems to lighten at that. “Thanks,” you say. “I assume it helps my case that Richie has a reputation for being not careful.”

He huffs a smile. “Maybe a bit.” He reaches his hand out gently. Seeing the veins and tattoos on the backs of his hands were not helping your heartbeat. Your nerves shake as he takes your hand and undoes the paper towel with the other. 

His face hardens and you look to see why. The gash was deeper than you realized, but nothing new to kitchen staff.

“Fuckin’ Richie,” Carmy grumbles angrily.

“It’s fine,” you say reassuringly. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

He makes eye contact again. “You shouldn’t have to. Not in my kitchen.”

Your lips part in surprise, and you think you catch him looking at them a beat too long before returning to your hand. The fact that such talented, skilled hands were working on your little cut was wild to you. 

A curl fell in his face, and you had to resist the urge to push it back for him. He was finishing up the bandage, and your mind screamed keep him over here.

“How are we gonna keep from freezing to death in here?” You ask, half joking. 

He moves back to lean against the shelves on the opposite wall, legs crossed at the ankle. You immediately feel the absence of his hands on you. 

He shrugs. “I’m used to it.”

“All that means is you won’t notice when the hypothermia kicks in.” 

His eyebrows furrow. “That cannot be true.”

“Yeah, I have no idea.” You respond, stretching your legs out so they’re parallel to his.

He chuckles, louder than you thought he would. 

“How is the job so far?” He asks.

“Good,” you say. “Better than a lot of kitchens. Except when I have to sit in a freezer with my boss.” You nudge his knee with yours. 

“C’mon, is he really that bad?” Carmy teases.

You think for a minute. “No, honestly. He’s pretty fantastic at everything he does. In appearance, too. I don’t know how he keeps those white shirts so clean.”

“I meant to be in a freezer with,” Carmy responds. There’s a shameful beat.

“I-“

“I’m just messing with you,” He smirks.

You roll your eyes, still embarrassed for your lovey rant.

“I look fantastic, huh?” 

You squirm. “I didn’t mean it like that-“

“How did you mean it then? Don’t hurt my feelings.”

“Can they be hurt?” You ponder. “I’m sure many women have told you similarly.”

He shakes his head. “That’s probably the only personal compliment I’ve gotten in years. They’ve all been about my cooking.” His face is a bit pink now.

You rub your arms, the goosebumps a combination of the freezer and Carmy’s gaze on you. Speaking of, his eyes follow the movement of your arms and his jaw ticks.

“That’s almost unbelievable to me,” You begin. “That no one tells you you look good.”

“Do people tell you that?” He asks.

“Sometimes, I suppose,” You say. “When I look nicer than this.” You gesture down at yourself.

“You still look nice,” He says gravelly, crossing his arms over his chest. You have to tear your eyes away from his forearms to respond. 

“Thanks, so do you,” You say lightly, hoping it’s not obvious how much you mean it.

You can tell from his eyes he sees through you, though. 

“I know you think so,” He says lowly.

“Oh yeah?” You ask nervously.

“Yeah,” he almost groans. “The way you look at me when I cook-it’s so distracting.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whisper. 

“Yes you do,” he says, eyes hard. “But you’re so focused, and careful, that you never see when I’m looking the same way at you.”

You swallow hard. There was no way this was real. Carmy being into you? Impossible.

“Yeah, right,” You respond.

His jaw ticks. “What, you don’t think that’s true?”

“Carmy, look at you. Then look at me. Of course I don’t think that’s true.” You shake.

He pushes his hands through his curls again. His shirt rises up an inch when he does, and you can’t help but glance at the bit of happy trail-

“See,” He groans. “I cant think straight around you. Especially when you look at me like that. Like I’m worth your attention.”

“Of course you are, Chef,” you say, looking into his eyes as your voice went lower. 

The name seemed to do him in. His frazzled look shifted to feral, eyes bright and hair in every direction. 

“You never answered my question,” You said lowly.

“What question?”

“How are we gonna stay warm in here?” You say, tone suggesting there was more to what you were saying. “Because I can think of a few ideas…”

“Oh, so can I,” He said gravelly, dragging his eyes down your body as you rose up on your knees. “All of them require you getting over here.” he said.

Didn’t have to tell you twice. He uncrossed his legs, his perfect thighs framing a seat for you. Before you could sit, his large hands crept onto your back, grasping you as he put his face onto your belly.

“Is this okay?” He asked, tone serious.

“Yes, yes,” you almost whine, hands reaching the back of his head. 

When you run your fingers through your hair like you’d been dreaming about, he groans.

This giant, muscled man groans into your stomach. You feel like jelly. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles. “I haven’t done this in a long time.”

You had heard about his nonexistent dating history. But you didn’t care. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” You say, looking down at him.

“No,” he groans, looking up at you, the angle of his eyes and his hands gripping you making you even wetter. “I want.”

You gasp and that reaction seems to spur him on. He slides his hands down your thighs and pulls you into his lap.

You groan quietly as you feel his cock through his pants, already hardening just from you being close. You couldn’t believe it. 

“You feel that? What you do to me?” He asks, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You think it’s true now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you gasp. “Wanna feel what you do to me?”

He groans in your ear. “Oh, we’ll get there.”

Then, he kisses you. And not a polite one. He kisses you like you’re a new recipe he made: new and delicious and ready to be devoured whole.

You moan and his grip on your shirt tightens like you’ll disappear if he doesn’t hold on. You tug on his hair and your hips involuntarily buck against him. 

He pulls back and moves his mouth to your neck. “Needy little thing, aren’t you?”

“I could-“ His teeth scrape your neck. “I could say the same thing about you.”

His hands grasp your face and kiss you again, holding you and taking you. 

You reach your hands for the hem of his shirt, needing something to ground you with the heat running through your body. As soon as you reach your hands underneath his shirt and scrape your nails up, he seems to go haywire.

His hands grip anywhere they can reach, your back, your hips, your shoulders, your hair. Not quite where you want him.

You pull back and he looks worried. But that look dissipates when you reach for the bottom of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head.

“Oh…pretty girl…” he mumbles, hands sliding up from your hips and across your stomach. 

You smile and reach your arms to the back of your bra.

“You want this off too?” You ask.

“Yes, oh god, please-“

Your thighs try to squeeze together from his desperation, but his hips are in the way and he notices. 

“You like that baby? You like when I beg?” 

You whimper. Oh god. And he heard it.

“I can do that, pretty girl, I can beg,” He says, his blue eyes in yours.

“Fuck, Carmy-“ You groan.

His hands move up, sliding seductively up your skin. “Can I take it off baby? Want it to be me that gets to undress you.”

“Yeah, you can,” You nod, unable to form sentences. He was gonna kill you.

He undoes the clasp on the first try, and his eyes get wider as the bra falls away. Your nipples turn into points from the cold freezer.

“Ohhh pretty girl, look at these,” he says in fascination, running his thumbs over your peaks.

The rough skin against you makes you moan, head falling back as he grasps your tits in his hands.

“So, so pretty,” he says, and then he scrapes his teeth against them. You gasp, as he continues to suck and bite at your breasts. “Wanna hold ‘em every day-“

“Fuck-so glad you like them Carmy,” you groan. “Please, please can you take this off?”

You grasp at his shirt. “Of course, baby,” he says, hair even crazier than normal from your tugging. He helps you lift it up and over his head.

“Oh, god,” you say, eyes widening as you finally see him in his full glory. Seeing his defined biceps next to his pecs and happy trail might knock you out cold. “Oh Carmy you are fantastic.”

That makes him laugh, and you grab his neck to kiss him again, and he moans into your mouth. Your other hand runs down his chest, dragging along the waistband. His hands grasped your boobs, and it felt better than you thought it would.

His desperation and muscle was making you soaked. You needed him to touch you. 

“Carm-“ You squirm in his lap, looking for friction. 

“I know, baby, I got you,” he says. “C’mere.” 

He holds you into him with one arm, and you bite at his shoulder as he looks for the shirts on the hard ground, making a makeshift pillow for you. 

He lays you back, and you watch him as he slowly kisses and nicks his way down your body, getting more teethy and possessive as he gets lower.

He reaches the waistband of your pants, and looks up at you for assurance. You look at the door nervously, and he catches it.

“I’m not gonna let anyone see you,” He says. “This is for me,” he grabs your ass. “Understand?”

You nod desperately and wiggle your hips.

“I wanna hear you say it.”

“Heard, chef,” you tease, and he tsks at you, smirking.

He pulls your pants down and over your ankles, adjusting himself to breathe over your thighs.

You inhale sharply as the cold hits your legs, goosebumps forming. Carmy’s hands soothe you, running up your thighs slowly.

He rubs his thumb over the wet spot on your underwear and looks up at you. “All this for me?”

“Told you you’d feel what you do to me.” you say.

“Ugh, pretty girl, you’re gonna kill me.” he groans into your thigh, biting down and you whimper. 

“Please, Carm, don’t tease-“

He pulls your underwear down in one swift motion, looking at you for reassurance before pulling your thighs over his shoulders and diving into his meal.

You can’t help your load moan as he licks a stripe all the way up your folds, circling your clit when he gets there. 

Your hands twist into his hair but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, his hands clamp harder into your thighs as your taste spurs him on.

“Fuck,” His nose- that perfect nose- rubs your clit over and over and you almost squeal just from the visual: his tattooed hands on your thighs, his curls in your fingers, his blue eyes looking straight into yours.

He pushes his tongue into you and your hips buck as you moan when he curls it up. The absence of it inside you makes you whimper, until his middle finger enters you and you really do squeal.

“Carmy- ah-“

“Yeah, baby, lemme hear you.”

He curls his finger and hits that spongey spot inside you, making your hips buck again. His eyes look scoldingly at you before he removes his right hand and presses down on your lower stomach. 

“Shit-!” Your head lolls back. “That’s a nice trick, Chef-“ You can feel him smirk.

The pressure makes the finger pumping inside you pleasing in a whole new way. Still sucking on your clit, Carmy curls another finger inside you.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna-“

“I got you, c’mon, come for me, wanna see you come all over my fingers,” Carmy says desperately, and you listen, snapping loose and releasing all over him. 

Your boss made you cum. Hard. Did you need to call HR? 

Nope. All you needed was to see him rising back over you, kissing up your stomach and over your breasts. 

His mouth was covered in your wet, and you grabbed his jaw hard to kiss him, your tongue in his mouth to taste yourself on him.

“Fantastic?” He asks.

“Fantastic.” you respond, meaning it. “Let’s hope Fak gets stuck in traffic,” you whisper into his lips. 

“Why?” he responds, teasing. You slide your hand down his chest and over his ass.

“Because I want you inside me,” you say. He moans and kisses you again, hard, whilst reaching for the fly on his jeans. 

“I was thinking the same thing,” he smiles into your lips. “Hands, chef, hands.”

You giggle and go to help him pull his pants down his legs and over his feet, kissing his jaw. You run your fingers over the happy trail you had been ogling, and grasp his cock over his boxers. He grunts in your ear, and takes your hand away. 

“Gonna come too fast,” he says, holding your hand above your head and kissing you.  “You make me crazy.”

“Same here, Carm.” You say, nipping at his neck. Your other hand teases at the waistline of his boxers.

He looks into your eyes. “Are you sure about this?” 

“Yes, Carmy, fuck, please.”

“Good.” He says, tugging his boxers down and you finally get to see him in all his glory. God, you didn’t think he could get more beautiful. Seeing him entirely naked sent another wave of wetness between your thighs.

“You’re so pretty, Carmy,” you mumble. He slid his hands up the outside of your thighs, keeping his eyes locked on yours. 

“All for you, baby,” his hand goes to his cock, and as the head slides inside you your head lolls back and groan.

“Hey, look at me.” You look back up to stare into his icy eyes. “Don’t stop.” He says.

He slides further into you and your jaw hangs open, trying so hard to keep eye contact with him.

You both groan as he bottoms out, every vein and ridge of him inside of you. Your pussy is still sensitive from the previous mind-blowing orgasm, and-

“God, pretty girl, you feel so good,” he groans in your ear. “Taking me so well.”

You pulse at the praise, and he feels it. You feel his smirk on your jaw. “You like that?”

“Yeah,” you gasp, your nails find purchase on his back.

He rolls into you, and it has your thighs squeezing around his hips immediately. 

“Shit, pretty girl.”

“Fuck, Carmy, feels so good,” you moan as he starts his rhythm, every ridge of his cock dragging inside your walls. The cold of the freezer vanishing against the hotness of your bodies.

His forearm is on the floor next your head, his other hand grasping your ass as he pummels into you. 

Your back scrapes on the floor, to match the marks you’re making on Carmy’s back. 

“Look so good with me inside you,” he grunts and you choke. His hand on your ass moves between your thighs and he circles your clit.

“Fuck- too much,” you gasp, clit sensitive. 

“You can take it.”

“Ah- Car- I’m gonna-“

“Me too, pretty girl, cmon-“ The nickname gets you every time, and you gush over him, squeezing around his cock.

He makes a choked sound and falls over the ledge after you, collapsing on top of your chest. 

You both breathe heavily, you rubbing up and down his back.

“That might have been more fantastic than your cooking,” You smile to the ceiling. He chuckles into your neck.

“Heard, chef.”

You were both dressed by the time Fak finally arrived, half an hour late complaining about unmissable after-credit scenes. 

Parting, you had gained a cell phone number and an address from Carmy, a kiss goodbye, and a “see you later” that promised many more. 

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Thailand is back in charge

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 7 of 12 - There is so much to love about this pair. But one of the things I truly adore is what great communicators they are about what they want & need as friends & as lovers. As boyfriends? Not so much. But the way they can (and do and did) communicate speaks well to their ability to communicate in the future, once they have resolved the inevitable doom the BL gods will reign down upon us over the next 3-4 eps. I guess what I am say is... these two are gonna be awesome husbands.

The break up was sad but inevitable.

Yay for a crying kiss. I do so love a crying kiss! 

Can we talk about the fact that all that tension was worth it?

Excellent kiss all round from GreatInn. Possibly one of the best of the year. Their only issue in winning this category in 2024 is that they're up against OffGun, TayNew, and JimmySea, not to mention BillyBabe... and MosBank coming soon. But I gotta say, for a new pair? Fantastic work boys.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I literally spent this whole show saying “Oh, Poor Joe!” Which is now the actual name of his character: Poor Joe. He's like the country music sad sack. How much is this narrative gonna keep kicking him while he's down?  

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Star Hunter + MosBank + a beloved familiar face? You ready? Let's go. I got a lot to say.

Unexpected supernatural historical paranormal mythological Sign-esk elements happening in our dream sequence opening. I’m not mad about it. But I do think it’s going to be mishandled in the dubious hands of Star Hunter. My BLabies, no matter what else, with Star Hunter we can rest assured there will be chaos and narrative mess. And now, lucky us, there will be a supernatural mess. But at least it will be sexy and high heat.

Honestly, I'm not worried about MosBank and I know what to expect from Star Hunter,. So we're all on the same page.

Meanwhile, enter a cute side couple (normal for this studio). WAIT a second I know that face! That's Tenon of PitchBank fame (side couple, and only good thing about, Golden Blood). I’m sad to see his pair busted, but delighted to see him pop up again in a BL.

Tenon appreciation time: He kisses beautifully everyone, and he is a killer eye-emoter. We are in for a real treat with this actor. (Especially if we get to a place in the narrative where he pines. OH PLEASE MAKE HIM PINE.)

Okay back to the show. I love Tenon but I also LOVE his infiltrating, wicked smart, younger brother character. This role is great for him. I adore an industrial spy. I enjoy a rich boy pretending to be an intern in his family's company (yes it's a trope, just not common in BL). Excellent work Thailand. No notes.

In conclusion?

It’s a cheesy silly office BL and I am enjoying it immensely because I have no expectations. So don't burst my bubble. Star Hunter is bound to do that on its own without tumblr's help.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 11 of 16 - Oh my God they are all so cute! I love the beginning bit when Peem was feeling down and Phum tried to cheer him up. Ridiculously charming. All the sides were super adorbs too. The actual name of this show is "We Are Cute". Meanwhile, Kluen = the only boy in a BL ever to take his unfinished drink with him? I like him even more now. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - New take on the umbrella trope to be trapped under a parasol together. NO SINGING. Honestly? I am not loving this as much as I really wanted to love it. It's the middle of the rankings for good reason. I do like the idea of historical Cinderfella BL though. Why isn't that what I'm watching? The play with in a play is a dangerous trope to deploy, it only distracts my with attractive possibilities. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - I'm gonna try to cycle back to ending this rap-up week on Saturdays, which means the recap for this episode will be in next week's weekly (so to speak). Meanwhile, I am doing a Trash watch on this show. Hopefully that will get updated tomorrow.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - It’s fun enough. Kind of a pulpy lark. Best + Seng = a surprisingly good match.

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - Good kiss from the sides. No surprises there. The main’s kissing was fine too, I guess. I like that they had a genuine struggle with being an idol and not being able to date. It’s nice to see that depicted on screen in a BL. I wish we had a bit more of a montage around the rise & success of Moo's boy group. But I understand the money in play for this kind of show prohibits that. All in all? It’s fine. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Oof. This ep was painful. So much awkward desperation and confusion. Oh Japan, must you?

Crazy to be in a place and time where there is no other noted non-Thai BLs airing. Not even from Korea. What is going on? Are we in 2020 all over again? Please no.

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I can't find it. Comments from last week suggest this is not my thing anyway, but Lee Long Shi very much IS my thing. I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down. Also, who knew Frank & Big could kiss like that? Not me.

ARGH could Monster Next Door please just start airing. I am SO tired of waiting for Big to lead out a BL. It should have happened years ago. *grumbles in chronic second lead syndrome*

In case you missed it

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continues the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 ans was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

As others see us: NuNew's 'Awful' Performance in BABYMONSTER's 'SHEESH' Goes Viral - I don't like BL being noticed by Kpop stans. I flipping LOATHE this song and I'm not wild about Babym. This is all 'round uncomfortable making and I want it to stop.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

June Releases Still Coming

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Forget "boyfriends but they don't realize it." These two are married but they don't realize it.

Praise be, he didn't leave his full drink behind. BEST BOY.

It was a great make out sesh.

THAT LIP BITE.

All round excellent ep this week, We Are Cuties.

Top tier flirting banker from the fuck buddies though. Man, their innuendo is on point. And I do mean that point. (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity

@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[the-conversation-pod]

Going High-Low with Taiwan

And we're back! It’s been awhile since we checked in on Taiwan, and the latest offerings have really run the gamut in terms of quality. Ben, NiNi, and Shan sat down to discuss the state of Taiwanese BL via two recent shows, Anti Reset and Unknown.

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:01:15 - Intro 00:02:11 - Anti Reset and VBL 00:13:13 - Unknown the Series 00:20:16 Unknown: The Pseudo Incest Trope 00:27:53 Unknown: San Pang, Li Li, and Family in the Narrative 00:35:48 Unknown: The Ending Stumble 00:43:32 Unknown: Adapting the Da Ge Novel 00:46:15 Unknown: Final Thoughts and Ratings 00:51:53 - Whither Taiwanese BL?

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00:00 - Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

And there it is. I’m Ben.

NiNi

I’m NiNi.

Ben

And we’re you’re drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.

NiNi

Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.

Ben

We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.

NiNi

And I review from a romance and drama lens.

Ben

So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…

NiNi

If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…

Ben

And if you generally just love simping…

NiNi

There is a lot of simping on this podcast…

Ben

We are the show for you!

00:01:15 - Intro

Ben 

And we're back! This week we will be discussing the state of Taiwanese BL by highlighting two projects that recently finished for us. 

NiNi 

Shan is here with us. Say hi, Shan. 

Shan 

Hello people! 

NiNi 

Shan has to be here because y'all know I don't watch that much Taiwanese BL. [laughs]

Shan 

And I watch it all. 

Ben 

We're going to be talking about the sci-fi BL Anti Reset and we're going to be talking about the Priest adaptation Unknown the series, based on Priest’s novel Da Ge. 

NiNi 

I am unfamiliar with Anti Reset. I did not watch it. 

Ben 

NiNi: it's a Taiwanese BL. I don't like it! [Shan laughs] I didn't watch it. 

NiNi 

I did watch Unknown and I have thoughts about that. 

00:02:11 - Anti Reset and VBL

NiNi 

Maybe Shan, you could dig in here before we let Ben get into the recap on Anti Reset. 

Shan 

Anti Reset is part of a recent series of Taiwanese BLs that came from a company called VBL. Stay By My Side, You Are Mine, VIP Only, and then Anti Reset. This was a connected series, all these stories happened in the same universe. The characters did cameos in each other's shows and they all aired in the same time slot one right after the other, over the last several months. 

I was not particularly impressed with the quality of these shows and I thought that as the series went on, each show got a little bit worse. [laughs] By the time I was in VIP Only I had really lost interest in what these shows were doing. The stories were weak, the production values were low, they weren't really hitting the usual Taiwanese high watermarks for great casting, good couple chemistry, solid intimacy scenes… The things you can normally reliably count on Taiwan for, were not really showing up in these shows. 

So I was, had kind of already lost my faith in this series when Anti Reset started. I think I got two episodes into it and I just decided to just stop watching. It was givin’ me a weird vibe. I was like, “You know what? I don't know what this show is doing and I don't think I wanna find out.” 

That's where I think I should hand it off to Ben to talk more about what the show actually ended up doing.

Ben 

Oh, man. Trying to describe the premise of this show inherently gives it more credit than it deserves. [Shan and Ben laugh] The premise of the show is that Chu Yi Ping is some sort of humanities professor at a local college. His arm gets injured from pulling his shoulder and his uncle, who runs a experimental tech company, decides that to give him some assistance while he's recovering, they're going to send an experimental house assistant android to his house, which appears in the shape of a really hot guy named Ever 9. 

The show wants to go on to be this exploration about how misanthropy presents in people. How do you find humanity in artificial intelligences that are designed to befriend us? It wants to do this exploration of personhood—I don't think it does—and ends up fundamentally becoming a mail-order bride show that doesn't realize it is one. This show thinks it's doing deep analysis of AI personhood and romance, but it's not. It's just presenting things. It is kind of a mess and I ended up really not liking it. 

NiNi 

I'm a big sci-fi girl. I like these kinds of explorations of the human condition. It's what all the best sci-fi is about. So, basically what you're telling me is don't watch the show. [laughs]

Shan 

Ben, I feel like when I was observing discourse about this show, it did seem like it was working for some people, and I'm curious if you have thoughts about what parts of the show maybe did work better than others. 

Ben 

I think that if you found the leads attractive and you enjoyed the chemistry that the leads were going for—ignoring literally any of the context about what was going on around their interactions—you could enjoy that. But I don't think the show does a great job of addressing its own context. 

You've got this android living in your house who is doing your house chores and making your food for you, and otherwise taking care of you. So you basically have purchased a housewife. But then he decides he's in love with the housewife and wants to pursue the concept that the android has a personality and is capable of reciprocating his feelings and such. But they don't do a good job creating this crossover point where Ever 9 cares about Chu Yi Ping because of who Ever 9 is and not because of what Ever 9 was programmed to be. 

The issue, too, with Chu Yi Ping is he's got this fundamental misanthropy that isn't really addressed or challenged. What is it about Ever 9 that allows him to not hate him the way he hates other people? The fact that Ever 9 is programmed to put up with all of his shit all the time? That's kinda weird, particularly because they went for a multi-year separation at the end, and I'm like, he didn't grow from this. He's just a sad little weirdo the whole time. 

Shan 

They did a multi-year separation between… a man and a robot? 

Ben 

They did. 

NiNi 

I was about to say— [all laugh]

Shan

I mean! I’m like, what? But, like—, Did—, How—, But—, I—

NiNi

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I have another related question. 

Ben 

Please, go on. [Ben and Shan laugh]

NiNi 

This is not a story about an AI achieving self-awareness or sentience or crossing the human-digital divide in some way. 

Ben 

It wants to be that. It really wants to be a story about Ever 9 exceeding his programming. They very much think there's, like, a Pinocchio thing going on with him. 

Shan 

He's still a robot. 

NiNi 

Even Pinocchio turned into a real boy at the end. 

Shan

Right, this is what I don't understand. 

NiNi 

So what is the point, then? If nothing actually changes about Ever 9. 

Ben 

This is one of the fundamental questions I've been asking about BL lately. [all laugh] And here we are again. 

Shan 

What is the point? [laughs]

NiNi 

This is the thing that people don't get about sci-fi a lot. Sci-fi is more philosophy than science. It's a lot more about humanity and the things that humanity does to each other and how humanity evolves than it is about the cool things that the science can do. And whenever I see sci-fi that does not understand that, you can tell. 

Shan 

I think—and I wonder how you feel about this, Ben—one of the tension points here may be trying to take a narrative like this and turn it into a straightforward romance between a person and an object. When I've seen stories with this conceit done well, the romance is maybe not the primary point, and it's more about, like NiNi is saying, the philosophical questions underpinning it. I think about something like Lars and the Real Girl, which is more about the nature of loneliness and the nature of grief and how a community can come together to support somebody in finding a way to be happy. But it's not about the actual romance between the person and the thing. It feels like maybe what's difficult here is they want to examine those things, but at the same time they just want this to be a standard BL where they're just executing romance tropes. Those things don't go together that well. 

Ben 

I agree. I feel like Chu Yi Ping’s misanthropy and disconnectedness from other people should have been the crux of the storytelling, and they were more focused on making the android say hyung and oppa instead. 

NiNi 

For me, if you're gonna do a robot story like this, maybe you actually put somebody else into the story who the main character then falls in love with. The main character is able to interact with the robot to actually, themselves, become a real boy. But somebody in the story has to become a real boy! [laughs] That's the whole—you know what I mean?

Shan 

There's a kdrama that I really love called I'm Not a Robot. And that is pretty much how they handled that. There's a robot, there's a real girl. And in the end, the romance is with the real girl, not the robot. [laughs] 

It just feels like they tried to do that sort of story, but also somehow make the robot the main person without having them actually achieve personhood, and that just doesn't really work. 

NiNi 

It's either that or take it dystopian. Take it in the opposite direction. But then I guess that's not a BL. 

Shan 

Right. So you can also take it in the real fucked up direction, but yeah, you have to commit and it sounds like they just tried to do it all in some kind of weird blend that didn't come together. 

NiNi 

So, I'm guessing this one's a chop, Ben. 

Ben 

Oh, it's 100% a chop. I think I ended up giving it a 5? This is a show that I do not recommend at all. If you just want to see pretty decently attractive Taiwanese actors kind of moon at each other a little bit and make out a little bit, by all means! Go in and have a great time. But that's what you're getting out of it, at most. It's not good sci-fi, and I don't like it. At all. 

Shan 

I'm feeling happy with my choices. I'm gonna not return and finish this one. I think I'm gonna let it lie. It sounds like it was the right choice to not finish it for me. 

Ben 

What did we get out of the VBL project? My only positive takeaway from it is, I'm really glad that they got some money together to continue making small budget Taiwanese BL. I don't want small budget Taiwanese BL to give up, but also, these were not the best offerings that we've gotten out of that. 

Shan 

They need some better scripts. 

Ben 

We gotta do better. I really did not want to be super harsh about VBL and a bunch of their projects but, they're kind of really frustrating in a lot of ways. Stay By My Side ends abruptly. You Are Mine does not do the boss-employee romance any real justice. VIP Only ended up being kinda boring and wasn't really satisfying in its conclusion. And this one just really did not understand the expectations of sci-fi storytelling.

When we looked at the descriptions of all these shows ahead of time, we were like, there's a lot of ways that they could fuck this up royally, but these would actually be pretty good, or at least interesting and compelling in some ways. But they weren't. There's some sort epilogue episode or some shit they're gonna be releasing?

Shan 

A little special to try to sell merch, I think. 

NiNi 

I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do. 

Shan

Yeaaaaah. 

Ben 

Not impressed, and we are moving on. 

NiNi 

You're not even gonna rate it? 

Ben 

Oh, I gave it a 5. 

NiNi 

5 for Anti Reset from The Conversation. 

Ben 

And the 5 is, the leads were actually pretty solid with each other. 

NiNi 

Wow, that is damning with the faintest of praise. 

[all laugh]

Ben 

It's not good, y’all. 

00:13:13 - Unknown the Series

NiNi

Let's leave that behind and move on to something that all of us actually watched and I think liked a little bit more. Moving on to Unknown the series. 

Ben, give us the rundown, what is Unknown the series about?

Ben

Unknown is a found family narrative that has to deal with the way these relationships change as people grow up. This brother and sister end up deciding to adopt a homeless kid who's in their neighborhood. Wei Qian is like a high schooler trying to take care of his little sister ‘cause their parents are dead, and they decide to also take care of this kid, Xiao Yuan. Xiao Yuan is appreciative of this and is glad to become a brother to this family. But as he grows and matures, he ends up developing deep affection for Wei Qian, and we spend the bulk of the story dealing with Xiao Yuan struggling with his feelings for Wei Qian, and how this impacts the community around them. 

Beyond the three siblings, we have their neighbor San Pang, whose family has opted to never raise the rent on the Wei siblings to make sure that they have a place to stay. Wei Qian spends much of his adolescence when he's not in school working for the local gang: complications ensue as a result of this. 

Shan, further thoughts?

Shan

Really, at its heart, this is a relationship change narrative. So, it's all about how this family decide to take each other as family and then as they grow up, some of the relationships start to shift and change, not only between Wei Qian and Wei Yuan, but also between Wei Li Li and San Pang. Wei Qian really takes his responsibilities as the older brother—but also the default patriarch of this family—very seriously. He is a caretaker, he is the person providing financially for the family. San Pang is his best friend, someone who's known him his whole life, who completely understands his devotion to his siblings and also loves them, as well, as an older brother figure. 

There are some other characters in the mix. Qian and San Pang end up going into business with a third partner, named Lao Xiong. There's also the local gang—the lead gangster is called Le—and then there's Doctor Lin, played by our beloved Sam Lin, who's also in the mix as a side character who comes in and out of the story. 

I don't know, NiNi, if you wanted to add anything about your overall impressions of what the story is tackling, the themes.

NiNi

I came into this one later than you guys did, so I was catching up on kind of a binge. And also the rhythms of Taiwanese BL and Taiwanese drama are a little harder for me, so it takes me a while to get into things emotionally. So I was doing a little bit of an uphill climb? I understood where the story was going and what they were trying to do. I didn't all the way feel it? There were points that I would hit, definitely a point at the end or near the end that I felt it, but going through the pockets of the story as it was happening, I didn't get the depth of feeling about this that I would get about a story. That's not necessarily to do with it being a Taiwanese story, ‘cause there's Taiwanese stories that I have that depth of feeling about. Just this one didn't hit me in the exact same way that I think it hit you guys.

Shan

I felt this story deeply. I was very emotionally connected to the characters, very, very invested in this story and really did love it. I have, unfortunately, some serious critiques [laughs] for the way that the story ended up, but really loved it along the way, was super invested. And part of that might come from my relative comfort with the tropes that were at play.

NiNi

It might be, because I'm an eldest sibling and I understand the feelings of responsibility and wanting to be somebody who takes care of your siblings and an example for them and to be strong for them and all of that. If there is any character that I really glommed onto, it was Wei Qian. But then what that left me with was a disconnect from some of his thought processes and actions later down in the story? There were things that I wanted to understand more that I didn't understand about the way that he was processing certain things. That's my thing. That's not a problem with the story, I think that's my reaction to the story.

Ben

I think in the early parts of the story I was really with everything that it was doing. I got Wei Qian’s whole deal fairly quickly. He's, like, 13 to 15 and his mom is dead. His dad is dead or not in the picture. And he's got a little sister that he has to take care of. And the neighbors are willing to help accommodate this but he's gotta get money some sort of way, so he ends up wrapped up with the local gang. I also got the way they would feel sympathy for another kid who's on the street struggling as well. I totally get them adopting someone else who seems like he's going through some shit the way they are too. 

I got the way Yuan’s thankfulness about being saved from the street and the way Wei Qian was willing to sacrifice himself for Yuan, and I totally get that turning into a kind of devotion that shifts over time, and mingles with his latent queerness. I was able to follow Yuan down that route. And I liked the way the show treated all of those developments really seriously. From Wei Qian having some sort of sexual related trauma and being really resistant to advances from women… And I also got the way that that sort of blew up in their faces when Yuan's feelings became known to them. 

I really enjoyed the early parts of the story. I think Ray Jiang directed this? Ray’s tendency to use longer shots of characters working in the space together worked really well for me here, and the actors had really good timing for me to get a strong sense of the dynamics between their characters. So I was really able to pull a lot of the expected emotional beats out of a lot of little things in this show early on.

00:20:16 Unknown: The Pseudo Incest Trope

Ben

I actually waited until like week six, I think, Shan, was when you told me it was time to start watching? I have deep qualms with the stepbrothers trope. I don't usually connect to it or enjoy it.

NiNi

I don't have an issue with the stepbrothers trope, but this didn't feel like stepbrothers to me. The relationship between Wei Qian and Yuan felt almost paternalistic, and that was, I think, deliberately something that Wei Qian did put that distance between them. I did not see how Wei Qian overcame that, he did it so deliberately and he reinforced it so deliberately over and over throughout the years, and I feel like the turn into romance didn't quite work for me?

Ben

Why do you think the stepbrothers taboo doesn't normally bother you the way it might for other people?

NiNi

It depends on how long they've been raised together. A lot of times when we're getting these stepbrothers trope stories, they're new stepbrothers or they haven't been stepbrothers for very long, or they were close to adults when their parents got together. And so it's… doesn't feel like a sibling relationship to me.

Ben

Shan, you've watched a lot of dramas.

Shan

Sure have.

Ben

What's your read of the stepbrother stuff?

Shan

I wanted to talk about accurate categorization here, because this is not actually a stepbrothers trope. The stepbrothers trope is very popular in yaoi manga, and consequently in BL. But Unknown is more, I think, accurately categorized as a pseudo incest story. And that goes beyond BL. That is actually quite popular [laughs] in Asian dramas more broadly, and also shows up quite a lot in het romance. And it's more about people who are coming together in some kind of family arrangement, and then the point of the trope is that the relationship changes over time and we follow that relationship change. 

There's this impression, I think, that people like it mostly because, “Ooh, it's so titillating. It's so taboo.” For folks who enjoy the pseudo incest trope—and I count myself one of them, I've watched a lot of these kinds of dramas—the appeal of it is that a relationship change narrative is really interesting. It's a lot of deep emotional stuff when you are talking about someone who's really important to you in one specific way, and then trying to transform that relationship to have them be important to you in a different way. That can feel really risky and really dangerous, to put at threat the relationship that you already have for the relationship that you now want. That is not a dynamic that is exclusive to the pseudo incest trope!

NiNi

It feels like an extension of friends to lovers.

Shan

Exactly.

NiNi

A higher risk, higher degree of difficulty friends to lovers.

Shan

Exactly right, NiNi. I also love the friend to lovers trope. I also like enemies to lovers, which is maybe not as deep, but still revolves around that relationship change. I think for a lot of people, that's the appeal. It's a higher stakes version of the friends to lovers trope. 

I think Unknown did a fantastic job with this trope… for the first three quarters of its story. Unfortunately, where it fell down was in the most important part, which is that relationship turn. We followed Yuan through his relationship turn. We saw his feelings for Qian change over time. We saw him try his best to cope with them alone. We saw when he could no longer do that and the feelings poured out of him and that caused a huge rupture. We saw him take time away. We saw his devotion stay strong through a separation and through many years apart. We saw him come back as an adult and decide to pursue the relationship he wanted because he was so certain that he still wanted it. We saw that whole process for Yuan. 

Where the show really dropped the ball is that we didn't see that same deep process happen for Wei Qian. We saw it start, we saw him learn about his younger brother's feelings for him and have an initial response of shock and anger and some revulsion. We saw him push Yuan away. We saw him miss him terribly and regret pushing him away. We saw him start to change the way he saw him when he came back as an adult, and start to get more comfortable with seeking him out as a partner instead of as a younger brother. And then we just saw an abrupt flipped switch, where suddenly he was comfortable not only being in a romance, but in a sexual relationship. And I think that's where they really dropped the ball, is in that transition at the end. And unfortunately, that was the most important part of the story. [laughs] So it's a pretty shitty place to drop the ball, show! 

But, this show did so many of my favorite things—found family, intergenerational family trauma, a serious relationship change narrative. These are like three of my most favorite things in drama. The characters were struggling through poverty, that's another big thing that I love to see depicted well in drama, and the show took it seriously. This show, it felt like, was almost made in a lab to, like, hook me in the heart. And I still have a lot of warm feelings about it and love it, even though it kind of let me down in the end. 

But I'm curious, Ben, to hear you reflect, because I know versions of this trope have caused trouble for you before. I feel like you did better with this than you maybe thought you would, Ben.

Ben

So as someone who has had slurs thrown at him with real intent, I am particularly sensitive to narratives that wanna play with taboo that reflects some of the worst disingenuous presumptions about how queer people behave. I don't always enjoy these sort of narratives where they wanna deal with family members coming of age and developing feelings for each other and then wanting to pursue them. I often struggle with stepsibling relationships in particular because their parents had a romance. I don't usually enjoy the discord that the stepbrothers relationship is introducing to the genuine attempt by their parents to blend their families. 

I don't think this show prickled that because they're more akin to orphans than stepsiblings. I'm less perturbed by orphans who use familial terms to establish closeness and present themselves as a unit to other people, wanting to change that down the road. Also, a smart thing the show did was they used three actors to play Yuan to reflect his growth and change over time, which was a very good choice for this kind of story.

00:27:53 Unknown: San Pang, Li Li, and Family in the Narrative

Shan

The other piece of this trope—the pseudo incest trope—that adds a layer, is that the taboo associated with incest does become part of the story. The external community and their other loved ones become an important part of the decision-making around the relationship change. You're gonna see other people being uncomfortable with the change in the relationship, so it adds this layer of complexity. 

Here, the most important and main stand-in for that, we have San Pang, who has been raised alongside them as their neighbor, who also sees himself as an older brother to Yuan and Li Li, who is the first person to catch on to Yuan’s feelings. He is the one who puts it together and sees the way Yuan’s feelings are changing, and he's the one who tells Qian. In the wake of his coming out to Qian—admitting that he is gay, but not saying who he likes—San Pang is the one who says, “I'm pretty sure you're the person he likes, bro,” and he tries to interfere. He goes to Yuan on his own and he says,”I am seeing this. I want you to understand that it's not something you can pursue. You're going to put so much stress on your brother if you let him find out.” 

There are some great scenes between San Pang and Yuan where they have really important conversations about why it's quote unquote wrong for him to feel this way about Qian, why San Pang feels so uncomfortable with it. He tries to intervene. It doesn't work, and then San Pang’s the one who helps Qian come up with a plan to send Yuan abroad. He was a very important part of that storyline. 

He also is a very important part of the storyline when Yuan comes back as an adult, because he, in those intervening years, has gone through his own journey of his changing feelings for somebody that he also considered a quasi-sibling, and has maybe mellowed out a little bit about what it would mean for the two of them to be together. He sees that the feelings are still there, sees how miserable Qian was when Yuan was gone, and he kind of changes his tune and says, “Maybe I was wrong to try to get in the way of this. Maybe this is the thing that will make you, my best friend in the world who I love, happy, and maybe that's right.” He was such a crucial character in this narrative and I just really loved the way the show used his character as a stand-in for what you would normally see happen with parents in a drama like this.

NiNi

He just wanted to protect everybody. He wants to protect them individually, he wants to protect their family unit. It's very sweet.

Ben

He's like the big cousin who also doesn't know what to do. Wei Qian is stuck with this role, having to care for his sister and the brother that they adopted. That takes a huge amount of personal fortitude to choose to do all of that. San Pang clearly sees this from a young age, and he's always trying to help the best he can. But he's just as young as them and it’s not like he brings any special knowledge to the table. He has these instincts that are grounded in the expected orthodoxy of a family unit, and he's trying to help them replicate that, because he earnestly believes that maybe these things can help them. 

Like, he recognizes that Wei Qian is alone with this huge responsibility he's carrying, and reasonably decides that maybe if he gets a partner who can appreciate that, the mental load on Wei Qian would be better. And as far as he knows, Wei Qian likes girls, so he tries to find women who might be interested in him. That doesn't go well. It's the same thing with always showing up at the clinic when Wei Qian gets the shit beat out of him with the gangster stuff. And even with Yuan, Yuan's feelings come up and he tries to help them, and even when they suggest sending Yuan away, they just wanted him to get some room from Wei Qian to maybe feel something for someone else. Yuan being gay was not their biggest concern. Yuan having feelings for Wei Qian was their primary concern. 

I joked, when he came back sassier and even gayer, that he clearly found his people [laughs] while was in New York. 

Shan

[laughs] Mmhmm. 

Ben

And I ended up really loving San Pang for that. Despite his reticence about Wei Qian, he ends up developing feelings for Li Li, and I think it's because they had those big fights where he was forced to reckon with the nature of these taboos and the orthodoxy they enforce, and whether or not they applied here or not. I feel like San Pang ending up in a relationship with Li Li is intentional by the narrative to draw that line and say, “If this is okay, why not this?”

Shan 

We should talk more about Li Li. One of the things I do credit this show with is caring about the whole family as a unit, and not only about the romance. Her involvement in the story and her relationship with her brothers was just a really important aspect to drive that point home. 

I loved Li Li as a character. She's the little sister that everybody takes care of, including Yuan. She's the one who let him in. When he first followed Wei Qian home, she claimed him as her brother first and brought him into the family. She has a very close but also very different relationship with each of her brothers. And we saw how those bonds held and shifted over time. And when their relationship changed and they decided to be together romantically, Li Li accepted it.

I think she always knew that their relationship was different. What was interesting, I think, and such a good choice, is that she never seemed to feel threatened by that. She was comfortable and secure, knowing that they both loved her. Even though their relationship could maybe sometimes crowd her out. 

Ben 

I really liked that moment in episode 11. We got this little breakdown from her about how nobody cares about Qian. She started to really process, as an adult now, that Wei Qian hid a lot of his suffering from them. 

I actually really like that Li Li got to do teenage rebellion. It says a lot about how effectively Wei Qian did his role as provider that she got to be a bratty teen. 

NiNi 

I feel like as a family story this hits me more than as a romance. Wei Qian’s relationship with both Yuan and Li Li feels parental more than sibling. Li Li and Yuan feel like siblings. 

Shan 

One of the interesting choices that I really appreciate in the story—in the early stages—is that while Wei Qian, I think, was trying to be a parental figure to both of them, Yuan never really accepted that, even when he was younger. And we saw that theme repeat throughout the show of Yuan saying, “You don't have to do it alone. I'm here to help you.” He always, always, always wanted to be a partner to Wei Qian. 

NiNi 

That is true, but this is coming from Yuan’s side. I absolutely see how Yuan made sure, maybe not even consciously, he wanted it to be clear where the boundaries were and the boundary was that, “We are family, we love each other, but you are not my parent, you are not my brother, you are somebody that I am partnered with. We are doing this together in this way.” Yuan always made that distinction. Wei Qian [laughs] is my problem here.

00:35:48 Unknown: The Ending Stumble

Shan 

We should get into where the show stumbled hard, because that's what it all comes down to, right? This big stumble in episode 11. 

NiNi 

Yeah, it just kind of sits over everything and it sits over my entire perception of the story now. I feel like I can't even think of the rest of the story without thinking about how it didn't take me where it needed to go at the end. Yuan comes back to Taiwan and it feels like for Wei Qian, maybe some things have changed, but he's doing a lot to not let this thing happen. And it doesn't feel like a thing that he's fighting against—’cause if it felt like something that he was fighting against, I feel like I could buy it. If it's something that his heart really desires, but his brain is telling him he can't do, like, that works, right? But it doesn't feel like that. 

I don't get where he got shaken. Like, I got the emotional shake. When Yuan gets kidnapped, ‘cause that's a thing that happens, you feel that fear that he had in that moment that he would lose Yuan. I understood why in that moment he would accept that he maybe had these emotions, these feelings that he needed to interrogate for Yuan, and they were churning him up inside, and they got broken out by this thing that happened that shook him. The emotional turn, totally believed. The turn where that goes romantic and sexual, that's the part that—it didn't carry me there. 

Shan 

I do agree with that last bit of what you said. I don't see it the same way as you in terms of not seeing the arc of his feelings starting to change. I think that was very clearly the arc of episodes 7 through 10 for Qian. During their separation, we saw how not functional, frankly, he was without Yuan around. He survived, he got through every day, but he was deeply unhappy. Everybody in his life could see it. He was regretful, he was missing him all the time. And punishing himself and withholding himself from talking to Yuan.

When Yuan came back, he started to interact with him differently. We saw the way that his physical awareness of him was different. We saw him start to seek him out more. We did see him start letting him in on some adult problem solving like he wouldn't have before. He still had his walls up, of course, he was still trying to consciously deny that he was willing to change their relationship in that way. But I do think the show took us through and showed us some very clear moments where his feelings were starting to shift and he was still fighting it. And then, of course, the kidnapping incident really shook him up. 

I think where the failure for me happened was in the moment where this suddenly turned into a sexual desire that we hadn't seen build, at all. And so that is the missing piece for me. They needed a couple more beats in the story there, between him coming to this emotional realization of his desire to keep Yuan next to him forever, and for that to then build into a sexual attraction that he was comfortable acting on. And I think that latter part is where they really dropped the ball. They have him literally say, “I'm not ready yet. I haven't figured out what I'm comfortable with yet.” And then like, literally two minutes later, he's like, “Fuck it, never mind.” And they're just going to town on each other. 

That didn't work for me at all. It was a very strange choice. It was a mistake. The show just really fumbled, and it sucks because they fumbled at the most important part of the story after building it so beautifully for ten weeks to just drop the ball that hard. It's a little bit baffling to me? 

Ben 

Episode 10 ends at the huge emotional turn for Wei Qian. And it was really frustrating for the show to conflate the emotional turn and the sexual turn and try and follow that immediately with the sex in the next episode. That was not the right choice. If the show had done the emotional turn and then spent at least half the episode dealing with this building sexual tension, that would have been interesting. 

The show was obsessed with staying on Yuan's perspective the whole time. It would have been totally fine if Yuan was crackling with sexual energy at the knowledge that Wei Qian had finally hit the emotional turn. But instead they really wanted to have reward sex and then focus on this stupid health scare plot. The problem is, the sex scene isn't good because there's no arc to it. Yuan has been ready to fuck this man for ten years and Wei Qian hasn't been ready to fuck anyone for, like, 15 years. 

They brought up this whole notion that part of Wei Qian's closed-off nature about sex is because his mom possibly abused him. And I just really did not enjoy the show rushing into this sudden sexual comfortability with Wei Qian after showing us that he did not have a good relationship with sex, and I feel like that needed to be resolved before those two were going to be able to have that sort of moment. As a result, the sex scene doesn't create much of an emotional arc, and the show knows this too, because they fucking fill it with stupid Yuan flashbacks. This should be about the change in Wei Qian, not the culmination of Yuan's feelings. 

Wei Qian's reticence about sex is not handled by the story, whether it be discovering queerness in himself or processing the sexual trauma from his mom or getting over whatever blocks about the kid you see as your brother wants to be with you. That part of it was missing when they had set up for it with the end of episode 10, where Wei Qian let down whatever big emotional barrier was between, “I need to protect Yuan,” versus, “I don't wanna be without Yuan.” They were prepped for it, totally, to go into that next area. And then they just didn't, and decided to make it about Wei Qian having a blood clot. 

NiNi 

All the pieces were actually there, they're just in the wrong order. There's a scene after the fact where they're doing this dating SIM game or whatever at work and Wei Qian is having these flashbacks to the sex scene. Why did they not let him have that moment as a fantasy moment before—

Shan 

Yes! 

NiNi

—rather than a flashback moment after? 

Ben 

That's what I also thought at the time. But you know how angry I get on this podcast [Ben and Shan laugh] about having to mentally rejigger the show [NiNi laughs] to make it fucking work. I will not!

Shan 

Besties! That's what they do in the book! That is exactly what they do in the book! [laughs]

Ben 

That's so fuckin’ aggravating. [laughs] I’m so fucking mad! 

Shan 

It’s so aggravating! All the things we're saying they should have done, they fucking did in the book! And I don't [claps hands together] know why the show didn't do it. I'm so mad! 

Ben 

She clappin’, yo, she mad. 

[all laugh]

00:43:32 Unknown: Adapting the Da Ge Novel

Shan 

We haven't talked too much yet about the novel, but I do wanna talk a little bit about some of the adaptation choices that were made here. This show is an adaptation of the novel Da Ge by Priest, who is a very well known danmei author. Other live action adaptations of her books include Word of Honor, Guardian, Justice in the Dark... several others, a lot of them have now been shelved or didn't get to finish airing because of the ban in China. So, it was extremely exciting for fans of her works to see a Taiwanese production take up an adaptation of one of her books, because we know that we're not gonna get good adaptations of danmei anymore out of China, because they are banning queer content and censoring it all to hell—even more than other countries. 

They made a lot of really smart adaptation choices in the way that they structured the show. The book is a lot more complex, in the way that most Priest novels are. There's a lot more characters, the plots are far more intricate, there's a lot more going on. There's an additional member of the family in the book. There's another best friend in the building. There are, like, three different gangs [laughs] instead of one. There's this whole corporate real estate plot that's tied to Wei Qian's work. It's a lot more complex. 

The show did, I think, a fantastic job of making choices to streamline the story, to make it simple enough to fit into a 12 episode arc while still retaining the core themes and the core relationships. And it also did some really great work around the cultural pieces. Mainland China has a lot more deep homophobia, fatphobia, some real weirdness around the way, in media, that sex and gay sex in particular get discussed, and this show really smoothed all of that out. 

Where they really blew it on the adaptation is at this end arc. You see all these aspects of Wei Qian's emotional journey that we are lamenting the show missed. I don't really understand why the show decided to ignore that material in favor of doing what it did instead. A lot of the stuff in the final arc was not in the book at all. If you are someone who loved this story and is disappointed in the ending, I just can't recommend highly enough that you read that book. 

Ben 

That's the theme of this episode. [laughs] If you enjoyed these shows, go do something else. 

Shan 

[laughs] Do something else! No, but do watch Unknown. I do love this show. I don't wanna say that you shouldn’t watch it, but you should go read the book too, ‘cause it'll fill in some pieces that we're missing here.

00:46:15 Unknown: Final Thoughts and Ratings

Ben 

I totally get NiNi maybe not being super connected to what was goin’ on, and if they had not fucked up episode 11, it just would have been an interesting conversation about, where does this gap form? But now we're bogged down in the fact that it's easy to point to the lack of payoff. I watched episode 12 this morning before we're recording this session. And I was like, “Okay, I guess this is fine.” [Shan laugh] This is meant to feel like, almost, epilogue. And I enjoyed the big family hand hold. But I really feel like they really failed at the final steps of the “Yuan and Wei Qian are now a couple” turn, which is really annoying because there were so many things that it did great. 

In the very final episode, there's this really great sequence when we learn that Li Li is pregnant and they have the reaction in the hallway and everybody's coming out of different doors that you don't expect. 

Shan 

That is the funniest scene. 

Ben 

Every time Wei Qian wanted to kill San Pang? [Shan laughs] Some of the best scenes in this show. Like, fucking Yuan sitting on the couch eatin’ his tomatoes, he was enjoying the chaos. We got this other woman who might be with Wei Qian, “I can take care of my brother.”

[Ben and Shan laugh] 

Shan 

He's like, “Don't you worry about it.” I did love those moments of Yuan being like, “Oh, I'm not the family problem now, ha!” [laughs] He's just like sitting back and enjoying it. 

Even at the end, I was frustrated with the last two episodes, but I still had a lot of affection for these characters and this family. This isn't an ending that completely ruined the show, for me. 

Ben 

Shan has a bat she holds called coulda been a 10 that she bashes sh— 

Shan

Yes! [laughs] 

Ben

—bashes shows with.

Shan 

Goddammit! One of the pieces of my frustration here is that this was on track to possibly be the best Taiwanese BL ever made. 

NiNi

Okay, so ratings. Shan, let's have you go first. What do you rate Unknown?

Shan

I gave it a 9. I had to take out my coulda been a 10 bat. 

I think that the narrative and the character work was so strong through the first 10 episodes that I can't take it lower than that. It's sticking with me. It's been a while since I finished the show, and I still think about it every single day. I think about these characters all the time, and that's not gonna go away just because the last couple episodes were a little bit disappointing for me.

NiNi

Ben, how about you?

Ben

Because I am in the business of recommending things—it's my whole shtick—this is an 8.5. It sits between “BL fans should watch this” and “People who like romance should watch this,” for me. I can't give it a 9 because I feel really strongly about the episode 11/12 caveats. But I don't wanna pretend that I didn't think that this cast did a really great job capturing the nuances of their dynamics. And even if they're let down a little bit by some of the direction and writing choices towards the end, I think that the family portion of this is so good, genuinely. So I do think this show is worth watching for people who enjoy the kinds of narratives the show wants to play with. We just need to understand that it stumbles at the end. 

NiNi?

NiNi

I'm having a hard time with this one because in my head this isn't a BL. If I had to put it into a category in my head, it would get slotted near to something like a Moonlight Chicken or 180 D. But it doesn't have the queer bona fides that either of those have. It feels like a family drama that had a romance in it that happened to be this kid falling in love with somebody who is taking care of him. But the idea of it being a central romance, I just didn't buy. So it was a difficult one for me to rate in terms of how I felt about it as a romance. 

In the end, I ended up at an 8 for the show. I think as a family drama, it's excellent. As a family drama, I would probably give it a 9.5 and as a romance, I would probably give it a 7, and so I wind up somewhere in the middle, which for me is an 8. I feel like it's a solid 8 show.

Ben

It's an 8.5 from The Conversation, recommended with specific reservations!

NiNi

You gotta get that .5 in. It's fine.

Shan

We gotta get it in. We gotta—

Ben

That's just how math works!

Shan

—gotta get it in.

NiNi

I know, I'm allowing you to have math. It was a good show.

Ben

It could have been an excellent show, but hmph!

Shan

So close to being one of my all time favorite dramas. It's fine, I'm just gonna go cry about it.

Ben

You were mad about it, because Shan wasn't even buggin’ me on a Saturday, like, “Go watch this show, Ben. Go watch it right now. Wake up, gay boy! Go watch the show so I can talk.”

[Ben and NiNi laugh]

Shan

Ben knew I didn't like the final episodes ‘cause I was not asking him if he watched them yet. [laugh] I was like, I don't wanna talk about it!

00:51:53 - Whither Taiwanese BL?

NiNi 

I want us to talk a little bit about where Taiwanese BL is and what's been happening with it lately and whether it is making the leap in the same ways that other countries appear to be making the leap lately. Whatever that leap is for them. 

I feel in some ways like Taiwanese BL has been a bit stagnant. 

Ben 

Taiwan is a super small country and… politically, they have been a little distracted for a few years! They're not in a position to do a ton more with BL right now. I don't think that we're gonna see a huge sudden surge from Taiwan. The best thing about Unknown is that Taiwan is not out of the game altogether, ‘cause I was real worried! The HIStory franchise is in ruins, and we hadn't really seen something of this production caliber in a while. 

Shan 

I'm with you, Ben. Honestly, when Unknown started airing, I was like, “Oh, thank God, Taiwan can still do it.” I have always been a fan of Taiwanese BLs, which might feel a little bit discordant because [laughs] I am someone who cares a lot about writing and storytelling and story is usually, honestly, the weakest part of Taiwanese BL. They usually don't have good writing. But, what I've always connected to in Taiwanese BLs is, I feel like they have a really good handle on relationship dynamics. They're really good at building characters that connect well with each other emotionally, physically—they've always done really good physical intimacy work in their shows, they usually cast really well for chemistry—and so usually in Taiwanese BLs, it's the characters and the character dynamics that hook me, more than the story. 

So I was really excited to see the high quality Taiwanese production that I knew had a good story underpinning it. I hope to see more. I personally had a great time with Kiseki: Dear To Me, but it is not exactly high art. [laughs] And this run of VBL shows was so bad that I was really losing faith. I had made a commitment that I was going to at least try watching every single Taiwanese BL that comes out. I'm still sticking with that, but I was starting to flag a little bit because some of these shows were so bad. 

So I was so thrilled to see that they still were doing productions of this caliber. And Unknown has been quite successful and got them a lot of positive attention, and so I'm hopeful that they'll be able to continue putting together productions like this, drawing actors of the caliber that they got for this show. I'm more hopeful because this show happened than I was certainly at the end of the year. 

Ben 

I will say the way that the Taiwanese actors talk about the work remains one of my favorite things. I be deep in these cast interviews, seein’ what they have to say about this work, and these Taiwanese boys have really nuanced and complex feelings about the work they're doing playing queer characters. I feel the respect and sometimes the duty they feel to get it right in the way they talk about their characters and the work they're doing. That's why I remain very friendly to… even [laughs] some of the jankiest Taiwanese BLs. These boys take playing queerness seriously. It's really warming for me to know that these guys understand that they're portraying queer people and that queer people will be affected by their portrayals. 

NiNi 

I think I just don't have the connection to Taiwanese drama. I'm coming at this from kdrama, through jdrama, through Thai drama. Taiwan’s the last place that I landed, and I think that I just haven't made the leap yet in terms of style and rhythms and all those other things. Mostly because I don't get to see a lot of it, there is not much. And I think that that definitely impacts how I feel about Taiwanese drama and Taiwanese BL. There are some I love—you know, I'm a staunch lover of HIStory 2: Right or Wrong. You know how I feel about Make Our Days Count. You know how I feel about We Best Love. But none of those, except maybe Right or Wrong, as Shan pointed out, has really stellar writing. 

Ben 

Why would you mention Make Our Days Count? I'm so mad all of a sudden! [laughs]

Shan 

No! Don't go there, Ben. Earmuffs!

NiNi 

We're never gonna get out of a Taiwanese BL conversation without it coming up. It just [laughs] isn’t gonna happen. 

Ben 

[volume raising] Wanna talk about endings for Taiwanese—

Shan

No!

Ben

—BLs?! [laughs]

Shan 

No, we do not! Stop. Pause. NiNi, continue your point. 

NiNi 

What have I done? [laughs] 

Yeah, I agree with Shan that the writing isn't great, and that's maybe one of the reasons that I haven't latched on to Taiwanese BL in the way that I have to others, because I am also a writing person. I can get behind a story for other reasons, and I have. I've gotten behind stories that were not written well because there was some other element of them that really grabbed me, and that's what has happened to me in the Taiwanese BLs that I have liked. But just generally, I don't gravitate in this direction, and there hasn't really been anything yet that makes me wanna gravitate more in this direction?

I recognise the strength of character development. I recognise the fantastic acting in a lotta instances, some of these guys are amazing actors. I just, it hasn't moved me in the kind of ways that I've been moved from other things. And it kinda makes me sad in some ways. I'm still looking for that Taiwanese BL that's gonna grab me by the throat. I haven't found that one yet. I'll keep looking. 

Shan 

It's hard, too, ‘cause like Ben said, it's such a small industry. We don't get that many Taiwanese BLs and we certainly don't get that many of quality. But, I've always really loved the approach to BL that Taiwan brings. 

Ben 

I really feel like when they make BL, somebody in the room is asking how gay people might feel about some of the choices they're making. 

Shan 

I'm gonna keep showing up for Taiwanese BL. I'm gonna keep watching them. I really hope that we get to see more productions of this caliber. I hope that we get to see them working from strong source material, so that the storytelling can really live up to what the casts are bringing. I'm excited to see what comes out next. 

NiNi 

Ray Jiang can stay, though, I like his directorial style. He keeps doing stuff and he hits on something that really pops? I feel like that's the one that's gonna grab me. If I wasn't terrified of what Lin Pei Yu was capable of after Kiseki. If I could get Lin Pei Yu at her best plus Ray Jiang at his best, with basically any of the actors I've ever seen in Taiwanese BL, maybe we'll get something that will grab me by the throat. 

Anyway, that is going to wrap us up on… what's the name of this episode? 

Shan 

Have we decided yet? Hmm. 

Ben 

The State of Taiwan, Taiwanese BL episode, whatever. 

NiNi 

Okay. That is going to wrap us up on our Taiwan episode. We out!

Thank you for being here, Shan. Say bye to the people. 

Shan 

Thank you for having me. Bye, people! 

NiNi 

Say bye to the people, Ben. 

Ben 

Peace.

[docholligay]

DOCDOC BIRTHDAY WEEK EXTRAVAGANZA

HELLO AND WELCOME! For my birthday, i am getting to do things that *I* want to do, but I hope that you will love as well! Stuff we don't normally do, stuff I don't always have time for, etc. I hope this looks as fun to you as it does to me: BMuch of this I have handpicked as "Fuck I would love to do that if I had the time"

Saturday, August 10th: That evening, we'll have a lovely fun stream. The movie that won the draw out of the pitches was:

I FUCKING LOVE THE QUICK AND THE DEAD I HAVEN'T WATCHED IT IN YEARS THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME IT EXISTED. It's so bad, it's so bad. It is so very much a shitty modern girlpower type fucking movie, it has NOT ONE IOTA of subtlety, it was basically a 60s-70s Western made with A Girl but trying to do business with the grittier Westerns of the 90s AMAZING. I CANNOT WAIT to tell you everything that is wrong with this movie, it is so fun and fucking stupid.

Sunday, August 11th: I'm running a race Full Send because this is how I have fun I guess but then, that evening, Jackbox games!

Monday, August 12th: The Patreon release of some more of Justified Episode one, and then that night, the movie club for The Lucky Mill! There's a separate post on that, I'll make sure to reblog it again a few times.

Tuesday, August 13th: First of all, It's Lena's birthday! According to my canon, the only one that matters. Weirdly this is not related to it being close to my birthday--I picked it out of a book about birthdays that I use for that sort of thing. I 'found' her personality and just made that her birthday. It's how I did it for all the Overwatch characters. ANYWAY.

It'll be a 'liveblog' (More like a series of long posts) about Season 2, Episode 9 of Vinland Saga. I streamed this show, and really really liked it, but Oath was, I think, my favorite of a series of very good episodes, and I can't wait to really talk about it.

Wednesday, August 14th: IT IS MY BIRTHDAY SHOWER ME WITH AFFECTION. I am going to the fair all day. It is also, no joke, Doc Holliday's birthday. How's that for fuckin kismet?

Thursday, August 15th: A series of unhinged essays about the television show Interview With The Vampire, deeply informed by the fact that the Vampire Chronicles were akin to my Harry fucking Potter when I was a deeply weird 13-16 year old. HUGE spoilers for the books, but honestly the TV show has been so different that it might NOT be a spoiler for the show ahaha. (I do very much like the show, in case anyone is worried it'll be a hateblog.)

That night: @keyofjetwolf and I will be watching S2E5 of Interview. She will have only seen UP to that point, and it's one of my favorite eps (I am sure all of you who have seen it know why)

Friday, August 16th: We finish off with a drunken stream. I will be asked to identify anime and what they are about in what I can only assume is some kind of Who Wants To Be A Weeaboo Piece of Shit, while I am drunk. May include audience participation. For any more detailed instructions/explanation, @ultrace is the main runner of this, with a heavy assist by @keyofjetwolf I think it will be very funny and I will do badly ahahah.

And that will be it! a full week of fun celebration! PLEASE JOIN ME AND HAVE FUN

[shortpplfedup]

We Are Episodes 1-5: Just guys being dudes I guess

Well I didn't think this was the show that would bring me back to writing anything, but low stakes and baby steps I guess. As with most of the BL I've enjoyed lately, I originally had absolutely zero intention of watching this. A 4-couple 16-ep hangout BL from New Siwaj? Nothing in there I need. Then this photo emerged from the set stills...

...and suddenly I was listening. Not terribly attentively mind you, but my curiosity was piqued enough to give her a try. So I did, and 5 weeks in I've decided she can stay for now.

I wanna be clear: there is nothing happening in this show. This isn't a good or interesting show. This is all about guys being dudes, hanging out with their friends, making new friends, and liking each other. Occasionally some of them talk about Art. But the vibes are...intriguing is far too strong a word. It's fun. It's cute. The characters are cutouts but clearly drawn (that is definitely one of New's strengths, I always know who his characters are and they rarely surprise or confuse me). The situations they put them in are pure undiluted tropery, but it works somehow? The cast has a lot of charm, that helps. Aou is playing probably my favourite character of his ever. Satang is making aegyo work for him shockingly well. Winny is giving something inexplicably fun as a surly art student. Poom is a goofy delight. Godji is here being hilarious. Every character is somehow pitched perfectly for the vibe. I am endeared. Each of our 4 couples is playing in their own genre of romantic comedy, but it all pulls together and not apart for me because of the breezy vibe of the whole. It ain't much, but it feels like everybody was having fun making this, and I'm really responding to that right now.

Our trope troupe, in no particular order.

Chain and Pun

Let's start with the friends to lovers couple, because there isn't much happening here yet (methinks the reshoots have pushed their story back near the end). There are all indications that both are somewhat aware of how they might feel. Pun is kinda chaotic and dumb like a fox methinks. Chain is endeared. 1.5/4 hearts

Tan and Fang

Next up we have the loud and quiet pair. Fang mostly keeps himself to himself and Tan is LITERALLY incapable of doing that. Motormouthing a mile a minute, telling all his business, calling friend gatherings together to announce that he likes somebody (not that they're dating, just that he likes them). He's annoying. And Fang is endeared by that. Him agreeing to date Tan seems a little out of nowhere but there isn't any pretence or secrecy to Tan. What you see is exactly what you get, and Fang seems to like what he sees. 2.5/4 hearts.

Toey and Q

Our third couple are our grumpy/sunshine couple. Normally this level of cutesy would drive me straight up a wall, but I think what's saving it for me is that nobody's really denying their feelings here. Q grumbles, but Toey has him completely wrapped around his little finger, and they both kinda know it. I'm pretty sure these two would actually burn down the world for each other if it was required. 3.5/4 hearts.

Phum and Peem

Our enemies to lovers couple. Up until this week I did not understand what they hell they were doing with these two, but it's clicked into place now: you think Phum is taking advantage, but Peem wouldn't be doing a single solitary fuck of this if he didn't want to. He started this out by kicking that man in the nuts, he ain't scared. Once Peem's curiosity overrode his pisstivity, it was only a matter of time. Watching him wait this entire episode for Phum to kiss him, then slowly realize he was gonna have to be the one to do it himself was...*snort* 2.5/4 hearts.

[davekat-sucks]

Oooh! I have my own headcanons as well!

John Egbert, movie critic and professional prankster, has a small Youtube Channel named EctoBiologist_143 that does a lot of skit based comedy reviews, think Nostalgia Critic without the scummy business practices. John also tries to code personal birthday card files for his friends, they work half the time, if unzipping the .ath file is recognized on the computer’s software.

Rose Lalonde loves to overanalyze kids media, especially squiddles as it’s a way for her to bond with Jade, and Rose notices quite a lot of references to the deep sea and hidden realms in the media.

Dave Strider, as much as he loves to remix and produce beats, he also learns the drums as a traditional instrument to play band, he made one EP with John Rose and Jade, he says he doesn’t want to publish because it “sounds too normal to be indie” bit really he wants a piece of his second family to keep as a memory. His first family was him and bro, and yeeeeeeah, he doesn’t like puppets, except Randy Feltface.

Jade Harley prefers to be a vegetarian, but her Bec side loves meat, she treats herself to black bean burgers and tofu sausages. Her mostly veggie diet comes from her gardening, making all-organic foods. Her Bec side also makes her droop when she’s near nuclear reactors, that’s why her job is reactor designer and not inspection.

Jane Crocker made an MSPFA called Professional Charlatan, an adventure about a hard-boiled prankster, an Adventuring Dandy and a Populist Ingenious work as a team with intelligensia from Master Kernel to defeat the insidious and undersea work of the MERMAID MOB. It is very obvious this is loosely based on Jane and her friends fighting the Condesce.

Jake English dabbles in the art, and takes from Pablo Picasso’s blue period. Rose has a very psychoanalytical idea for why he likes to draw so many blue landscapes, and round, wavy feminine shapes. Jake also draws Robots, a lot. He even gets commissions to draw corny 1950s sci-fi book covers!

Roxy teaches John how to make code in .ath that does not suck. She and John love to share simple code that range from ripoff arcade games to ascii gifs. She takes a lot of the wine her mom stored to be sold in a wine store she owns. Roxy likes to taste wine, but declines anything more than one glass to drink, modesty is policy!

Dirk Strider works with a lot of felt and soft fabrics. He actually makes quilts as therapy for living on his own for 16 years. He also likes to hang out with Dave, he looks up to Dave and how he turned out even with the worst Dirk in all of Paradox space. Dirk still has a manipulative streak where he tries to subtly convince Dave to binge The Muppet Show with him to grow a tolerance for non-smutty plushes. Dave still can not watch any scene with Gonzo without getting sweaty and tense.

This is a lot of text for 8 characters so if I ever do troll headcanons they are in a separate batch.

[spikes-left-eyebrow]

Just watched the episode Angel last night and I'm so insane and not normal about it. Its so bad. Its so good. Its everything to me. Buffy asks Angel if he's been following her and why he would keep an eye on her. He says "Maybe I like you." She smiles and says "Maybe?" And girl I cant even blame her. If a person I was vaguely attracted to came into my home when I was 16 and told me they were watching me bc they like me i would have immediately been dtf. But can you tell me why at at 240!!!! Angel is saying insane shit like this?????? Image being an adult and some GUY is like "I was watching u bc i like you teehee" restraining order. IMMEDIATELY!!!

Angel also has so many goofy ass lines in this script I genuinely feel a little bad for David bc we all know hes a bad actor especially at the beginning but him saving Buffy from The Three with the line "Good dogs dont bite" ?????? what r u talking about bestie. what is that. I will however fault him for the fact that he will just smirk at the most inappropriate times. what the fuck is that. "No buffy I didnt read ur diary 😏 ok why tf would u say it like that?? or when he grins after saying the slur for romani?? like hello??

Also just the way that they intro his history is SO funny. Buffy shows up to kill him and he's like "why wouldn't I kill your mother I'm just a creature, right?" my brother in christ you are literally. the only single vampire in the entire goddamn world that has a soul. why would she. the vampire SLAYER. have any reason to believe that ur just a normal dude??? And the way he talks about the curse like so nonchalant with his little smirks.... personally I would have simply killed him based on the attitude. the vibes alone.

Then we have the absolute genius of this ep!! Darla with the guns?? *chefs kiss* are you kidding me thats SO funny. So effective. She clocked Buffy as being a bad ass slayer and despite 400 years of wrecking havoc consequence free she said hmm ok I cant take her but two (2) guns probably could. Thats why shes been alive so goddamn long. I love her.

And Willow's bravery?? Literally the shyest girl in school seeing Darla with the GUNS and still shouting to Buffy, to protect her from not only physical but emotional harm?? Obsessed!!

And finally, the last scene with the Bangel kiss. Listen. I am not a Bangel lover and we know this!!! But the way my man pressed into Buffy the whole time despite the cross burning into his chest??? I have been obsessed with that scene since day one. Whoever wrote that ate and left no crumbs I fear. Delicious.

[idkwhatshappeningbutok]

So, I'm writing a fic bc I read a fic and now I'm having THOUGHTS.

So. We fuck with the time table. Instead of Noctis being 10yo, Ignis being 12, Luna 14, and Ravus 17 (how old I normally hc them to be for the attack), they're about 2 years younger (Ravus is 16 but only has been for like 3 weeks). Noctis and Regis went to Tenebrea with Claruas, Ignis' uncle, and Ignis because they thought it would be a good idea for Noctis and Luna to get to know each other. Obviously this falls to shit and the Empire attacks. However, the kids make it out and Queen Sylva doesn't die. I have an oc (her name is Kendra and ill explain her more at the end) who ends up going with the kids because she's friends with Ravus. The kids end up going to Galahd to hide, and of course change their names.

So now Ravus is 'Ralin' but not really because they chose that sense it shortens to Rae, and that's Luna's nickname for him. Kendra just shortens it to Ken. Luna's now Lily. Ignis is Edward because Eddy sounds like Iggy. Noctis is Nathin because Nat sounds like Noct.

So they end up in Galahd, which is mostly open to the Tenebrain refugees, so long as they contribute in some way. They don't really need to worry about money because due to the war the government has all the money, and people just use trade. The kids end up on the largest island (will use map we see in ep. Ardyn and put screenshots at end), and they wander around for a few days before Ravus finds somewhere for them to stay. This is a slightly rundown inn with 5 floors and a basement, each floor has two apartments.

They are on the second room on the second floor. This inn is run by a woman, Miss Erica, and rather than paying rent they just kinda work for her. So she'll send Ravus out of run errands and teaches Kendra to cook. Because she is teaching them how to cook and clean. She also has a school on the top floor.

Their version of school is set up different and I will explain that in another post, but they all have to go to school at different times of day.

Nyx and his family also live here. Nyx ends up becoming friends with Ravus. Nyx's mom helps watch Luna, Ignis, and Noctis. And everything is good for about 2 years, then the Empire attacks again. Ravus protects Nyx's sister and motjer, and losses his left hand and about half of his left forearm. Kendra was hiding in the inn's basement like she was meant to be doing. Ignis and Noctis were out in a field not to far away and get attacked by a Maralith (giant 6armed sword welding snake lady). Ignis dies, but Noct doesn't know that so he accidentally brings him back to life. Iggy is now blind. Noctis has about the same ingury that would have sent him to Tenebrae in canon. Luna panics and ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONS A GODDESS.

She's also an oc, Ifrit's younger twin, goddess of molten rock. Her name is Agyua. She puts everyone in a pocket dimention of sorts, and kicks the Empire the fuck out of there. She did not send Luna away, and sort of goes through Luna's head to figure out where to put people when she puts them back. Like putting Ravus, Ignis, and Noctis in the hospital. Luna passes out, ends up in a coma to regain her strength. Same with Noct. Kendra has to help with cleanup, and Ravus and Ignis help each other relearn how to walk. (Ravus doesn't get a prosthetic for a few more years because unlike most healthcare in Galahd those aren't free.)

Now Agyua gives Galahd's solders and medics her blessing, and now you have the Glaive only not loyal to Lucis. These abilities do change a bit based on where you're from, like Tenebrain's are very good healers.

About now Sylva makes a deal with another oc, Miyako, goddess of the dead, and also Ardyn. Miyako was imprisoned by Bahumut and whipped from history, and is pissed at him. Cor also adopts Prompto around now. Kendra joins the hunters.

Another four years Regis still hasn't been able to track down Noct, and make Cor the heir. Regis keeps a group to secretly look for Noct (Gladio, Aranea, Cor, eventually Iris) Prompto has been online buddies with Noct for a while now, figures out who and where he is, and tells Cor. Cor sends him with Gladio, Aranea, and Iris to go get him. He's not home when they get there but Luna is, and she thinks them sus so she stalls until Noct does get home. Noct knows Prom, nobody else. And trusts Prom, but nobody else. Hence more stalling until Ravus can get beck, because he's been in charge from day one, Ignis isn't n town today and neither is Kendra.

Ravus has Prompto call Cor to better explain the situation, basically goes 'I'm not dragging us over that hell hole of a war zone to get to Insomnia' and now Gladio is mad at Ravus because Cor put Ravus in charge and Glado was supposed to be. Another year, and Miyako uses an army of dragon ghosts to drive the Empire out of Tenebrae. Miyako and Agyua are dating and have Tenenbrae and Galahd make an allince. Somewhere in there Ravus and Ignis get together. Also almost all of them end up fighting on the front lines at least once. Luna and Ravus (bc he also can heal screw u) fix up Noct and Iggy so Iggy can see in one eye and Noct's only issue is he now accidently shares him magic with Ignis in ways he's not supposed to be able to. Libertus and Crowe move in down the street, become friends with them.

Ardyn kidnaps Sol, kills her dad who was the heir the nif throne, and gives her to Sylva because that man doesn't know how babies work. Now the Empire is starting to self destruct.

Two years later, and our group gets to go to Insomnia. (Also Noct and Luna are a thing now.) They tell a few people about who they actually were, and Nyx is flabbergasted lol. After a bit Luna and Ravus have to go home, which isn't fun because by now they all have some level of seperation angxity and codependency issues (pls ignore bad spelling).

They figure out the whole Prophcey, go f*ck Bahumut, fight him with Agyua and Miyako, win, and Ardyn ends up ruling Lucis with Area after Miyako brings her back form the dead, while Noct and Luna get married and run Tenebrae. happy ending but Nyx dies only to come back during fighting god. so. just don't always trust that the dead are really dead.

Anyways! Kendra! She's 15 at the start, has long brown hair she likes to dye random colors, is pretty smart, and strong, basically the dad friend while Ravus is the mom friend. Also sarcasm.

Map screenshots! 1. what gods rule where, 2. map of Galahd as best i could, 3. Altissia, 4. Insomina in the light and the rest of Lucis, 5. the weird cost above nif is tenebrae, 6. full world map, 7. the other islands above tenebrae are where demons first popped up & are uninhabited, 8. nifelheim.

[the-ghost-of-a-spirit]

mha s4 ep 15-24 ( @maidofdarkness23

i feel like i should say, when i say i ship something, i dont always mean it is a serious way, sometimes its just cause its funny

Ep 15 whats with everyone in the intro and musical instruments? and aizawa being sad in a feild, before he was just sitting there now he's holding something

this is it, also it says neko, who's neko? maybe i'm looking at this too hard, but it feels important

miriyo! he's really nice, and positive about the whole ari/losing quirk thing

whats with todoroki and his phone?

Ep 16 *endeavour and almighty are next to eachother" some guy: are you guys seeing.. me: each other? guy:this! anyway, new ship just dropped endevor/almight (300+ ao3 works)

their opportunity are literal children and they are losing. L (I would have done better)

mic no. dunno what's he's going to do but no okay, so he's just sitting there saying nonsense for now

this is so funny. the children are ruthless

i think one of the kids have an inteligence quirk, no way he's natrually that mature.

okay, y'know what, almight/endevour could work out, like, actually, as friends at least

"my name is not 5 weenies" i could never say that with a straight face

todoroki, that will not work, i'm calling it I WAS RIGHT

"present mic's bad at his job, so now i'm doing it to"

Episode 17

they have the chance to be very badass and I am here for it (it's against pre schooners but hey)

telling people to shut up in the nicest way possible

endeavour and todoroki sure have a Relationship

"the equation isnt that difficult to solve" the equation:

i think, thats calculus or something

also ectoplasm is a maths teacher

frenchboy feeding midoriya is so funny

WAIT IS FRENCHBOY THE TRAITOR (his names Oyama or aiyama I think, ill check later)

i am concerned, he looks like hes planning to kill deku

oh no, not cheese

wonder what oyama knows, deku's only big secret is afo, but I don't think it's that

okay, so he didn't know anything weird, feel like it's more than that though

so all that was to make them friends? weird but OK

ep 18

the "normal school stuff!" though

loving all these suggestions, it's funny. my favourite is petting zoo, will re-watch this scene again maybe, currently one of my favourite scenes

todoroki doesn't know what a concert is

i love Eri, she's adorable.

ERI DOESNT KNOW SMILING, WHAT

new ship: eri/miriyo (cackling and dying while writing, i hate the fact i thought of it but eri litterally asked if they were going on a date, i do not codone shipping this, i think they have brother/sister type thing)

mha YouTube is called Yap!tube

gentle and his assistant are so goofy wth

ep 19

i know afo but who are the other 2? destro and purist thief. are they important?

ngl those general studies kids are based.

gentle has big "all bark no bite" vibes

holy shit jiro's good

"my fingers won't reach cause of my character design" loving the 4th wall break

i love thus arc, everyone is so silly

also tokoyami can play guitar, and mineta is so childish

eri! she has a dress now

Ep 20

i hope its the actual festival

miriyo no also Eri!

nezu has done exactly one good thing, which is letting eri come

just wanna laugh at this for a second

nezu, why is your hand up, why is your mouth a triangle, why is you evil vibes

ERI TOUR, LETS GO, i love her

shes ugly, i dont like her eyelashs, and hair, and the rest of her.

tamaki!

Nezu why do you eat like that

deku, if i was you i'd have died like, 5 seconds ago from embarsment

gentle will break into the festival and vlog it

loving the family dynamic la'brava and gental have going on

Ep 21

i have concerns regarding hownd dog

midoriya going right next to the placr where gentle is going, love this forshadowing

"rope is a specialty item" i'm pretty sure i can go to the petrol station near my house and get rope.

HE LOOKS OLDER, WHAT

funny number, heh

betting hound-dog is gonna come

Ep 22

deku, did not, infact have time

eri!

the yayorozu chant might just be how i remember her name

ERI SMILE, AJFHDJWNSDNM (i would die for her)

that performance is so cool

"romeo, the ghost of azkaban" GANDALF TOO "i am your true father" (luke, i am your father) Ah, yes, so original

eri's little recap of the show, though, can we just think of that

okay, eri's my favourite, then tamaki

why is bakugo melting the ice? what happened to todoroki?

kirashima and steel-guy seem like they'd be besties

"people are animals" -tamaki amajiki

CEMENTOS JUICE CUP

nejire won

ERI HAS A CANDY APPLE

Ep 23

ERI'S LIVING IN UA AOIDHSQKWDHNSBXJKOQANXFDSCS

ERI'S LIVING IN UA

MORE ERI!!

Aizawa, your mean who's the visitors?

i wanna know what happened with hawks and tokoyami

the pussy cats are here. why

the recent rankings are almight, endevour and hawks i need to know more about hawks, i have seen so many fanfics about him (havent read any yet) so now i'm curious

number 8's a fucking washing mashine. how

woods seems cool

edgeshot is a cool name

best jeanist has a cool quirk

i think i like hawks i like hawks, favourite hero. maybe one of the favourite characters. he's really cool (i am not surprised about the fanfics, i would be searching for them when i finish, but scared of spoilers. also why are him and dabi shipped? (dont tell me))

is endevour actually on fire? like, is his fire real. do people get burnt by touching him? why are there people so near him?

hawks just stabbing him with feathers.

okay, its official, tamkaki, eri and hawks are my favourites. tamaki, idk why, eri is so, so cute and hawks is fucking awesome

endevour is not allowed to be nice

i think this whole villan biography is big, cause la'brava had one too, and i have heard of the libaration before (not sure where)

villan attacked them, nomu i think

Ep 24

VILLAN FIGHT??

todoroki has an older sister, and an older brother. i think he's the only one with a fire quirk though, could be wrong

pretty sure hero's shouldnt destroy buildingd

hawks is so funny

intelligent nomu

if the one on the left is todoroki, does that mean the white hair is something he got, and he wasn't born like that

:0 did endevour just... die? no, he'a alive

this scene reminds me of the ending of the game "we become what we behold"

endevour litterally just went "gotta go fast" like sonic

bit with the feathers and endevour reminds me of a pheonix

[dojae-huh]

I walk radio ep.2

Why are the subs so low in quality? We've waited for so many years for JaeDo content, SM!!

Doyoung had his arms crossed at the beginning, which he seldom does (a gesture of shielding oneself, usually means nervousness), but he relaxed as time went by.

Notice how Jaehyun talked at the same time as Doyoung, when they comment on the catchiness of "Walk". It's characteristic of them to speak at the same time (agree-I get you-it is so).

Even during his usual "Ah, I'm scared of what you are going to say next (about me)" Doyoung managed to show that distinctive glint in the eye and lifted corners of the lips.

Is that the new necklace? Jaehyun likes to wear certain items to important to him occasions.

7:30 - Do said noone ever told him his colour is hip-hop, but Jae contradicted it with "but you liked it when I said it before". As usual, Do agreed quickly to smooth the correction of a lie and moved on.

8:27 - Now watch Doyoung transition to normal body language (not controlled, relaxed). He used arms and hands as additional non-verbal language to be more expressive.

10:00-10:08 - "Whatever you say, honey". Not an ounce of desire to argue.

It's funny how there are two members, but it's like Doyoung is the one being interviewed, Jaehyun reflects all questions on him quickly. Also, there is this palpable rare "we are just talking" vibe (like 2Dongs can have in their vlives). Without jabs, nudges to participate, awkward pauses, stuff said for variety, etc.

12:00 - Lol, Doyoung was sensing it was coming, but still asked "are you bullshitting or for real?". (Jae used to recommend a lot of songs to fans). Jaehyun finds new ways to both tease and advertise, heh.

12:12 - Jae crossed his arms to "protect himself from an attack". These gestures are like echoes of thoughts. Jae teased, so he was prepared for a rebuttal. And Do indeed "attacked" him at 12:20 (the raised voice, Dongyoung showed himself).

14:39 - Jae had enough of the stiff posture, so he also moved to more relaxed way of sitting, started to play with the table.

14:58 - Jae was sitting in a very open, inviting pose (no crossed limbs, limp hands, the body turned to Doyoung) which made Do mirror it and break his "proper" pose as well at 15:13.

15:35 - Do cameback to a protective pose and started to shake his legs. Can he relax already, lol.

15:51 - Now Jae started to involve his hands. He likes to use them during talking for self-expression a lot, normally.

16:23 - Jaehyunie appeared with his small voice. The question wasn't for the camera (for the interview's sake, to move the dialogue forward), Jae got qurious and asked to elaborate.

17:34 - Do knew what Jae meant right away.

23:00 - It's a cute reaction but not from this exact moment in the conversation. Maybe some of Jae's words were cut and this gigle was before "I can't believe we think so differently" bit.

24:04 - When Do started saying this intro, I knew Jaehyun opens the song, heh.

24:35 - Jaehyun had me here o the floor, lol. Where is this sassiness coming from...

I feel like they filmed this content late at night. Jaehyun was energetically deflated despite the occasion. However, it made it even more obvious that he kept being attentive to whatever Do was blabbering about and never spaced out. You can also tell he wasn't confortabel with the distance between the armchairs.

Doyoung did his best to advertise the album in his usual "we tried our best, the album is full of love, 127 is 127".

30:45 - They didn't even try, they just fell into step naturally, lol.

[myechoecho]

I actually enjoyed the final episode of Queen of Tears. Which is surprising since given how much I hated ep 15 and was lukewarm to ep 13 & 14. Ep 15 somehow broke me with how much it wanted to me accept and look past lol.

Not to say ep 16 didn't have the same need to look past things but it was somehow more acceptable. Maybe because Eun Sung was finally killed off in the first 10 minutes.

I am a bit frustrated we never really got to know the motivations of Moh Seul Hee. Just because she wanted Queen's Group doesn't seem to be enough of a reason. The woman abandoned her son at an orphanage. She killed Hae In's brother and tried to kill Hae In at the same. She then when on to play a long con game of 20+ years (also presumably never trying to kill Hae In or even Soo Cheol within that time). But my question remains to WHY.

Similarly, I am disappointed that the miscarriage was never properly addressed. Yes, Hae In remembered it and we got to see a bit more of what happened at the time but other than that nothing. I guess though with Hae In not fully remembering everything they can't really address it anyway.

Oddly, Hae In not regaining her memory in full is one thing I appreciated. Of all the things they wanted me to accept about her mysterious illness, her not getting her memory back after surgery is the most plausible. Still, I have a personal head cannon that she does regain more of her memory after time but not fully.

I do like that Hae In and Hyun Woo finally discussed what broke down their marriage (outside of the miscarriage) which was lack of communication and letting little things fester. They at least have a clear vision for where they want to go in the future. I also liked that they are taking it slow, as Hae In is still getting to know Hyun Woo.

I'm happy for them that they finally got their much wanted child. Not quite sure we needed to see Hyun Woo, years in the future visiting Hae In's grave though I do like how they always returned to Germany. Still it's one of the more normal endings for this writer out of the dramas I've watched of hers.

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching It’s a Terrible Life

Welcome to “Sam and Dean are Just Steps on the Bossman’s Ladder: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s4e17: It’s a Terrible Life

Dean Smith works a middle-management white-collar job at Sandover Bridge and Iron, and Sam Wesson is a grunt in the IT department there. Sam thinks something about this life is wrong, and when he runs into Dean he could swear they’ve met before. But Dean brushes him off until employees start dying real weird in the company. When Dean witnesses an IT tech stab himself in the throat during a panic attack over filling out a form incorrectly, he accepts that Sam might be on to something. The two work together to research the company and the deaths, eventually realizing the ghost of the company’s founder is compelling workers to kill themselves if they don’t give Sandover their all. Smith and Wesson dispatch the ghost (after finding some helpful tips online from the Ghostfacers), and eventually Dean’s boss reveals that he is actually Zachariah, an angel who arranged this little interlude for Dean to help him remember that he is and always will be a hunter at heart. Dean doesn’t take kindly to this interference from the angels and promises that one day he’ll stab Zachariah in his face.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Lor: bounces I love this one

Mace: 

it is a good one

he looks so ridiculous in that shirt and tie

Lor:

and I love that this show is like "ep 16: torture, hero almost killed by a demon who tortured him in hell for 30 years. ep 17: alternate universe shenanigans"

mmm. someone should maybe take him out of them

Mace: 

they like to mess with us

Lor:

yep

Mace: 

LOR.

Lor:

wot?

innocent

Mace: 

simmer down

Lor:

NEVER

Mace: 

omg this guy plays such a hilarious weirdo on Psych

Lor:

Zachariah?

Mace: 

yeah

Lor:

omg Dean Smith. you do not need to lose any weight. eat a cookie

kill a ghost

Mace: 

HA

Lor:

LOL Sam's face

Mace: 

SAM IN THAT POLO

Lor:

YES

even Dean Smith makes "no homo" jokes when no one else brought that up pets him go to therapy, baby

Mace: 

it’s crazy to me that Sam is uncomfortable in this fake life but Dean suspects nothing

YEP

Lor:

DID YOU TRY TURNING IT OFF AND THEN ON

yeah it is WEIRD

Mace: 

HAHAHA

Lor:

but it fits with his "I can fit in anywhere thing"

Mace: 

hm. I wonder if it’s more “I’m so unhappy in the life my daddy forced me into” thing

Lor:

oh definitely

Mace: 

my god he FITS in that shirt

Lor:

YAAAS

he should really stop being work buddies with this asshole

Mace: 

(omg I am seriously wearing almost EXACTLY that other dude’s outfit right now)

Lor:

HAAAAHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT

poor Sam doesn't fit in his cubicle

Mace: 

graphic t with ratty flannel over

Lor:

it is the BEST outfit

Mace: 

oh Sammy, sweets, I’ll nap with you

Lor:

MACE

simmer down

Mace: 

I love how he does NOT fit into that cubicle

Lor:

YES

Mace: 

Dean’s profile. just DAMN, son

Lor:

YAAAAAS

they made him extra pretty this ep and I love that they bothered

Mace: 

he cleans up super nice

Lor:

Dean, you know you have some vampire romance novels under your perfectly made bed

Mace: 

SNORK

“you overshare”

HAHAHA

Lor:

the tiny montages of the workplace mundanities

Mace: 

YEP

“I hope they spank me” this boy is naughty

Lor:

LOL

look, we've all been where he is. no evil ghost needed

Mace: 

HA

Lor:

EW

Mace: 

oh GROSS

SHOULDERS

Lor:

YAS

omg Dean's pretty pretty face. his LIPS

Mace: 

RIGHT?!

Lor:

omg Sam and Dean are both researching it and asking the same questions on their own. i love it

Mace: 

YES

“did you shave?!”

Lor:

lol

"the dash-Rs"

Mace: 

“hey, guy”

Lor:

omg his back in those suspenders

Mace: 

right?

omg EW

Lor:

RIGHT?

i always forget this one has some serious ew horror moments

poor Dean so shook

Mace: 

but not as shook as a normal person, which is kind of awesome

Lor:

the way his voice kinda fails on "neck"

YES

I love the way he just totally took charge with Ian (even though it didn't work)

Mace: 

why did he bring his bag?

yeah

Lor:

security laptop. it makes him feel safe

Mace: 

emotional support laptop

Lor:

YES

"NOT NATURAL"

Mace: 

HA

Lor:

"no that would be nuts" HAAAAAHHAHAHAHA poking fun at their own show history

Mace: 

SNORK

Lor:

"some skills I happen to have"

Mace: 

okay settle down, Taken

Lor:

I admire from afar

Mace: 

Dean’s arms in that shirt

Lor:

HEY. SETTLE DOWN

Mace: 

“right?!” BOYS

Lor:

"I am dying to check this out." "Right?" YES

Mace: 

SNORK! Look, I’m always like this. It’s weirder when you do it

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Fair enough

Mace: 

your desire to trot at any given moment is, like, lukewarm

Lor:

at best

Mace: 

which is, of course, completely cool - PUN INTENDED - I’m just saying that when you bump it up to hot-trotting, it’s just different

Lor:

LOLOLOL

I get it

Mace: 

whereas my trotting enthusiasm always runs at toasty, minimum

Lor:

except for the GIANT BOWL OF APPLES

eat a food, Dean, I beg you

Mace: 

HAHAHA

Lor:

LOL toasty trots

DON'T BE A SNOB DEAN SMITH

Mace: 

right?!

(also, their NAMES)

Lor:

your daddy raised you better'n that

Mace: 

did he, though?

I think you mean Bobby raised him better

Lor:

(YES I am kissing whoever decided to give them OTHER gun names platonically on the head)

Mace: 

(HA)

Lor:

Bobby is his dad in the universe, that's what I meant

Mace: 

omgomgomg

Lor:

HAAAAHAHAHAHA GHOSTFACERS

"instructional videos"

Mace: 

GHOSTFACERS

I forgot they were in here!

Lor:

THIS IS LIKE THE BEST JOKE that they learn how from them who they hate who learned it from them

I LOVE IT kicks feet in glee

Mace: 

YESYESYES

Lor:

nrrrrrf Dean's dumb buttondown tucked into his dumb dress slacks

Mace: 

YES

“yeah now sucks"

Lor:

his portfolio is in the sewer. poor rich baby

Mace: 

HA

Lor:

"useless douchebags the Winchesters"

"possibly all states"

Mace: 

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

and Dean's face at the idea of digging up bodies

Mace: 

YES

omg Dean hiding

Lor:

YES

oh man another super gross bit coming

Mace: 

UGH

“…what?” SAM

Lor:

YES

eeeeeeeeew

Mace: 

EWEWEWEW

poor Bean

Lor:

poor sammy

"take the stairs"

Mace: 

HAHAHA

Lor:

aw Dean's little swallow

Mace: 

YES

Lor:

"I have no idea"

Mace: 

oh boys

Lor:

hey! stop throwing my Dean around into things!

ooo the teamwork

Mace: 

YES

Lor:

I love that Sam immediately clocks that the way to help Dean is not to help him but to dispatch the ghost

Mace: 

YES

so smart

“that was amazing!”

Lor:

HE HAS A FIRST AID KIT IN HIS OFFICE

pets him

Mace: 

yeah

“how would we live?”

HEALTH INSURANCE

Lor:

"you don't wanna go fighting ghosts without any health insurance" I LOVE HIM

YES

Mace: 

I LOVE that Sam instinctively knows who he is

HE WENT TO STANFORD

Lor:

YES

RIGHT?!

And his family is Bobby, Ellen, and Jo

Mace: 

well, Bobby at least

“you don’t know me, pal” ooof

Lor:

"you should go" sigh

YAS SAM

Mace: 

YAS SAMMY DO IT

Lor:

GOD HIS ARMS

Mace: 

YES

he BENT the poker MY GOD

Lor:

YES

Dean, hold out for your own angel

Mace: 

HA

Lor:

gross

Mace: 

yeah

Lor:

THE WAY THE COLOR DROPS OUT

Mace: 

OMG YES

Lor:

"my GOD am I hungry"

Mace: 

HAHAHA YES

Lor:

trots in with a bag of cheeseburgers and fries and pie

Mace: 

HA

Lor:

"gross. no thank you"

Mace: 

“gross” HAHAHAHA

Lor:

lololol Dean

ass clowns in monkey suits

Mace: 

how did they not realize how he would respond to this?

Lor:

his idiolect! I cannot

RIGHT?

Cas coulda told them. No way they ran this by him

Mace: 

nope

daddy issues

he’s not wrong there

Lor:

"I will stab you in your face" AND HE DOES

Mace: 

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

his face journey after "fornicate with women" is something else

look, Dean, I'm here to tell you you can hunt and still have the lattes

Mace: 

HAHAHA YES

and fuck all of them for doing all this to Sammy too but not bothering to explain

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace: 

and HE’S THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY PASSED THE STUPID TEST

Lor:

like Sam goes from "my brother is beat to hell in a hospital bed" to being mind fucked and then no one bothers to tell him what's up

RIGHT?

Mace: 

so mean. he needs comforting.

Lor:

I think we've talked before about how if they'd given Dean a life HE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE HAD, like running his own auto shop, restoring cars, with either Cassie or Cas, he would have STAYED THERE FOREVER

Mace: 

YEP

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's the Dog Days of BL Again

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Final Week

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 5 of 12 - The side couple is so damn pouty and adorable. So far as Yak and Dee are concerned, I love that they kept up with the cosplay stuff and didn’t just drop it as a one off. I'm just genuinely enjoying seeing how much fun they have together and watching them accidentally falling in love with each other and trying not to.

Linguistic corner!

I don’t normally watch any BTS stuff, but for reasons known only to my serotonin-seeking brain, I’ve been watching a few for this show. And I MUST talk about the way Great speaks Thai. It’s so different from all of the other Good GMMTV Boys. He’s way more casual. Not rude, but definitely not as formal or as polite as any of the actors around him. It’s difficult to describe but just LISTEN to the way he hops registers and pronouns pretty consistently. Sometimes in the same sentence. He even softens his polite particles. I've never heard an actor do that out of character. It’s fascinating. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he is older (then most of his costars) and comes outta the Bangkok club scene, and was older when he joined GMMTV. Frankly, it’s the closest I’ve ever seen on TV to the way people actually talked in Bangkok. 

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 eps - honestly these two shows are neck and neck for my favorites running right now and Wandee got the edge because it left me smiling, but yesterday, Stand-In would have come out on top. Such a great show. It’s so sinister. So not romantic. Which makes me feel like... it's not really a BL. And, yet, I DO NOT CARE. Because I’m enjoying its little evil soul so much. “Poor Joe” is pretty much all that goes through my head the whole time I'm watching, and I'm enjoying poking at that pain.

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 9 of 16 - I love all of the 3rd wheels. Kluen is kinda great. And I’m not just saying that 'cause I have a crush on Title, it’s because Kluen is so open and genuine. (Unless they fuck up his character.) I even enjoyed the backstory for Fang and Tan. Honestly, the friendship group is the reason to watch this show, they’re great and funny, and make everything enjoyable. It’s a soap opera, like Only Friends, but gentle with its characters and us watchers. Which is what I really want from my BL. I don’t want all of this Friend Zone backstabbing bullpuckie. 

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - I like it, frankly more than I expected to. It’s a bit slow moving, but the characters are interesting and the dynamic of everybody living in the same house together is fun. I haven’t seen this style of housemates centered Thai BL in years. I identify FAR too closely with the crass-talking bug-killing pansexual. On a completely different note, I really hope Best and Seng have an NC scene together. Last week I would never have said that, but now I think they have good chemistry. Am I crazy?

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - They are sickeningly sweet boyfriends, and Moo is such a brat and so demanding. It’s charming. There was even a little bit of dancing together which I’m sure made @heretherebedork happy. Dancing okay but NO SINGING. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Asami's past was cool to see. I enjoyed that his character finally got fleshed out and given some solidity. However, it felt like it came a little too late. Even though I know this is the way Japan tends to roll with BL timing. I wanted to like him sooner then this. Now I'm not really that invested.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 8 fin - It was an extremely good and very satisfying ending for a JBL, which we cannot expect, so I'm disposed to dole out top marks for that. Also we definitely have a new contender for Namgoong award for best wingman. (Japan's favorite: the bespectacled variant.)

Summation:

Kindly Ryota goes to uni and ends up rooming with his former childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend for, as it turns out, cute roommate reasons. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake, the framing is gorgeous and it is a stylish piece. As a friends to lovers cohabitation narrative this was a classic 2000s sweet yaoi. I enjoy that kind of tradition out of Japan even if it (and the characters) come off as a little slow as a result. Still, it's nice to get a traditional BL out of Japan that is satisfying, not slapstick, AND did not hurt us. 8/10 recommended

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 5-6fin - gonna have to wait until next week, for mysterious hotel wifi reasons.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS. How?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 2 of 10 - yeah I can't find it. Comments from last week suggest this is not my thing anyway, but Lee Long Shi very much IS my thing, so... maybe I'll put it on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know.

In case you missed

VBL (Taiwan) is released 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 series on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu - watch each on the respective shows' page: You Are Mine, VIP Only, Stay By My Side, Anti Reset.

My Biker 2 (Thai movie trailer) suposedly released somewhere, search me.

The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) went to theaters, not sure if we will get this, and it may not be BL.

And here's a 2023 that I missed and finally watched:

After Sundown AKA Saengrawi

ZeeNunew vehicle from 2023, recut into a movie on YouTube. It's from Mandee and horror, yet I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

Pronoun use is ter/chan or rao (no nai or pom) because of the historical setting + softness of the relationship.

It's oddly sweet and wholesome, for a ghost story. Phloeng and Rawee enter into an arranged marriage for confusing prophetic reasons and a twisted fate, solving a mystery of the past that is haunting Phloeng's family and harming Rawee. Honestly, it makes no actual sense, but it's kinda historical, and very pretty, so I enjoyed it more than I should. 8/10

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

June Releases

6/7 My Love Mix-Up (Fridays Thai Adaptation not sure where this will air) - I do love G4 and I did like the original and maybe this time these characters will actually kiss? I'm actually fine with this pick-up. I kind of enjoy seeing different countries remake the same IP. Especially if it's IP I'm mostly unfazed by.

6/7 The Last Time (Thailand Fridays YouTube?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something?

6/9 Love Sea (Thailand Sundays MAME warning iQIYI - New characters to the Mameverse. While travelling, a writer has a one night stand with a very irritating man. YES I WILL TRASH WATCH THIS. Drinking will happen on Sundays I guess. (Look, I do usually travel on weekends, so it may end up being Monday Mame Trash - which jives.)

6/14 Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie Gaga?) - Continues the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1.

6/15 Sunset Vibes AKA SunsetXVibes (Thailand Saturdays) Star Hunter and MosBank on iQIYI so if nothing else it's gonna be a wild and sexy ride. A one night stand but "uh-oh he’s my boss," adapted from a web series. I’m game. Maybe it’ll have a better story than Big Dragon? Maybe it will have a plot? We can but hope.

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds VIU?) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

(Speaking of, why can't Est be a merman? This... I ask you?.)

Why You? (Khmer movie - Billed as a horror romance BL this is supposed to release this month.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

In my world we call this smug. (Only Boo!)

LOOK AT HIS ARM?! This has been your Goodness Gracious Great Guns Of Huge 2024 moment.

(All Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity

@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[darlenicy]

Some thoughts on DRIVEN in 1x19

I announced this before. And now it's time to face the alleged end of driven. I will talk first about how this scene is done and show you some screenshots of the scene one doesn't notice while watching at normal speed. And yes, I will interpret tons of things in tiny details. And secondly, I'll tell you how this scene could have been done better.

I The scene how it is in detail (like DETAIL detail)

So, as shown in the last post, Riven went straight to cloud tower. This means, that Darcy never told him, that she got expelled. We don't exactly know how much time went by from episode 16 to episode 19. It might only be a few days and Riven could have been busy with the party at Red Fountain in episode 17. But it's still a bit strange and shows again that the show is too centered around Bloom and that all other characters aren't thought of very well. But however, he arrived and Darcy shows Riven where they are.

And now look at these screenshots that happen right after this shot:

Everything's still alright and he jumps off to get to his gf

and now look, Darcy looks like she wanted to embrace him or something. But he keeps moving as he realizes that they are in Griffin's office

Let's get deep: There are still trust issues. I think it takes really long to heal Riven from these and it looks like he and Darcy hadn't been at this point in their relationship yet. He still stays with his guts and is confused. Darcy on the other hand notices that. His behavior must cut her into her heart somehow and now listen: I think Stormy and Icy already talked with Darcy about her relationship and that she and Riven might have reached a dead end. After all, Stormy and Icy saw Riven as a pawn, as something useful, a tool. A tool, that is not important anymore. To Darcy, Riven was obviously more. We can see how she is worried in 1x8 on the Day of Roses. There is something between them. So Darcy would totally be like: "but we can still profit from him just let me tell him and get him fully on our side." Icy and Stormy would've been yeah yeah whatever, knowing that it would not work out but still let Darcy have that chance. However, the chance was gone after Riven behaved like he did: ignoring Darcy and wondering what was going on, expecting the worst, and showing the Trix, that he is indeed not on their side. So Darcy had to act quickly. I will say in II what could have saved this scene but as for now we only look at how it is. So she sees, ah he doesn't trust me and won't let me explain, so then that's it I guess. And then she betrays him with the thought in mind that he would leave her anyway now. So why not be the one who breaks up then? Maybe that reduces the pain of a breakup. After all, Darcy is a girl of the mind. She knows herself very well and therefore also how to fool herself in order to make herself feel better. Tragic but I think that is what she does here.

Ok let's get to part II: How this scene could be fixed

Unfortunately, it's necessary for Riven's character arc to break up with Darcy. But the way it is done in the show is very poor. For the watcher who doesn't pay much attention to other characters than Bloom or the Winx, it looks like Darcy just ditched Riven like an old tool that isn't useful anymore. Rainbow totally misses the chance to let both confront their feelings and see how a breakup would be best for both. In Darcy's case, there should have been shown the talk with her sisters who tell her that she had no future with Riven. We should have seen her struggle with this decision and having still a little hope that Riven might stay with her. OR Rainbow should've shown us, that she lost interest in him very quickly which would make this scene as it is more comprehensible. But they did not show that to us. They build up worried, bb girl Darcy in ep 1x7 and 1x8 and did NOTHING with it and I can't express how much that angers me. This villain x anti-hero romance could have been done so well even in a sideline of the normal Bloom-centered story. But they did nothing with it and seriously, Rainbow, WHY?

So how should it have been done? They should have had a proper conversation about this topic. Alone. Without Stormy and Icy. Darcy should have told him about the situation calmly without her sisters disturbing her. Riven then could come to 2 decisions: The first one would be to still stay with her. It would have gone completely against Icy's and Stormy's will but if he had truly proven, that he was on their side, they couldn't do very much against it. Or he could have come to the conclusion, that he had to leave Darcy. He would feel betrayed by Darcy not telling him their plans earlier and simply for her going too far. And Darcy on the other hand would feel betrayed by Riven for not sticking with her. Both would be deeply hurt and that is how a good relationship like this should end. Both broken, both sad. Rainbow showed us with Brella how good and deep they could portray relationships (also those that are not from the main character). But they totally left this part of the story out. A part, that they OWED to all the fans that shipped them.

Ngl I'm thinking of a one-shot ff about exactly that matter. But I don't know yet if I will write it soon or write it later in my Winx Rewrite that I planned. But be sure, no matter when and where I publish it, it will be more satisfying than this scene in the show.