#i never remember his name so hes bald guy to me i dont mean anything bad by it (and i dont call him that at work)

[blirpus]

bald guy at work asked me what he should do with his food because "women are usually smarter than men with food related things" ???

[gayspock]

ok so tbh i really need to prep for this interview im fucked with. let me lb peacekeeper wars instead. part 1

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIDBUDGET HELLAURRR

sorry im always blown away. i remember watching so many treks, and then seeing their movies after and foaming... those were obciously MUCH bigger leaps in terms of, like, production but its like... GOD I NEVER REALLY REALISE HOW THE USUAL SHOW LOOKS UNTIL THE SHIFT LOL HELP. i should really be more observant o_o

but THIS... WTF... BUDGET... SO SCARY

th

NEVERMIND EIYW9IFPAEK[GK[PSDPO THE. RYGEL SWIMMING ABOUT IS MAKING ME SCREAM. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER UHM. THE windows screensaver ? the aquarium? hes so that.... I FORGOT HE WAS LIKE SOME SORT OF UCCKING WET BEAST. also the transition of him in the water to above the wter is so funny

diagnosans are so cool i wish we got them more

ALTHOUGH ALSO GRUNCDGHDLDIK WHOSE NAME I CANNOT SPELL... SO FUNNY HE JUST POPPED BACK UP. DONT GIVE US AN EXPL-

SORRY

I JUST SAW

SIKOZUS' NEW

LOOKIMHAVING ... A CATEGORY 10 WOMAN EVENT. IIS OCCURING ON MY SCREEN

ANYWAYS i want to say: like.... for the record, im kinda disappointed that they did fix john and aeryn's predicament so fast. its fine- its FIINEEE- like... its just the cheap cliffhangers are kinda so tired lol. its hardly the worst in the world, but its annoying- although WELL AT LEAST WE CAN GET ON WITH IT, SO LETS NOT FUSS....

BUT actually no i mean. i am also annoyed they fixed chianas blindness soo easily too like COME ON GUYS!! COMMIT TO THE THINGS YOU DO. SHEESH

ALTHOUGH this whole recap is so cute i love it when they do stuff like this - o rat least, when they do it right like here with john .... johns one of the few who could carry like this

THAT BALD CUNT WAS ON EASTENDERS

WHY ARE THEY KIRA NERYSing RYGEL THIS IS SO... YOURE LYINGGGGGG. BE QUEIT. i assume theyre jsut trying to avoid complications- want aeryn in on the action and stuff- and rygel is always out of the action - but omg...

also its so nice they managed to pick stark up. i love his involvement here. but kill yourselves for cutting his hair it was so beautiful

"I heard the key to these things is being relaxed" d'argo youve had 1.5 failed marr- SORRY I CANT FINISH THAT JKOKE THATS TOO MEAN SORRY DARGO ITSNOT YOUR FAULTL

also is this actress officiating them the same one who played the sebacean lass who tortured her at the end of last season

actually i WILL also say: i love the slight revamping to everybodys prosthetics. noranti and the scarran lady both have slightly different looks . chiana's hair is also so nice

SORRY BUT SIKOZU IS SERVING SO BAD IM THROWING UP I AM SO OBSESSED SORRY IM EASYYYY. i said what i said in my last post- i wish they could have used her better, because i do actually REALLY like so much of her but ARHGH execution iwse hell on earth innit

hang on. fucking hell i dont know why- i totally forgot that... this would be wrapping EVERYTHING UP, do you know what i mean? i assumed itd be closing up just the immediate things for some reason- but oh christ, we're going back to the early s4 stuff. thats kinda funny bc i did not care for that LOL. but i'm game nonetheles.... will jool be back? smile.

"is he propositioning me?" CHIANA AOIDJAOSIFASFIAFJ

"however 😏it vibrates" MATE PLEASE

also sorry i didnt say anything but why is greyza so pregnant. girl i dont want you here osrry. although shes funny shes fucking mister eastenders . bald ass head.

HONEY YOURE POINTING A GUN AT TH E BABY! [cut to rygel] IS SO FUNNY

CAN THEY JSUT GET MARRIED

also so sad i said i love sikozu and her new look and i want to know more about what my girlie is up to but is she gonna do fuck all here LOL.... OH WELL.

i love it . peacekeeper infighting . you guys. <3 rip each other apart<3

ALSO GOD OWULD SCORPY AND CRICHTON QUIT IT. GIRLS GROW UP.

ALSO WAIT- so chiana's power is just... full-on, now? no price to pay for using it? BOOOO.

d'argo and aeryn bonding... SHUT UP I NEED MORE OF THAT. WHERES THE BROSHIP BETWEEN THEM, HUH. WE NEVER GET THAT EITHER.

hii 1812 omg hiiii- DONT TELL HIM TO SHUT UP JOHN I'LL KILL YOU SORRY I DONT MEAN THAT

omg hiii jool wow wee i didnt- ALRIGHT UHM. HI JOOL. GIRL HE'S ENGAGED

im sorry but the jokes theyre pulling with rygel actually are making me laugh. "theyre having MY baby." THE WAY HE SAYS IT LIKE THAT IS MAKING ME LOSE IT.

ALTHOUGH i will also say. as much as i have enjoyed this so far i dont really care that much, again, for the actual plot-plot... like all this with pikal, and with the temple stuff from the beginning of s4- i thought those eps were weak, and whilst i am open to more involvement with them, their approach here is as equally uninspiring. like, so what...? reuniting them will be able to bring peace? even if more complication arises, i feel like thats such a boring concept LOL. like- do you know what i mean? but fine thyeyre making it up with everything else

"crichton is your inferior." SIKOZU, GIRL FJSPOGKSPGKSDGPKDS PLEASE...

SORRY BUT

ALSO I HAVE SAID ALL IVE SAID ABOUT SIKOZU YEAH BUT LIKE. SIKOZU/SCORPIUS IS SO FUNNY. again i like sikozu as a character, and i think her insights arent unimportant- BUT HELL, HER AND SCORPY ARE SO FUNNY. LIKE COME ON. PLEASE. BFFR. I LIKED THIER DYNAMIC, IS THE THING - at least in s4 i did.... but a romance between them, or any sexual relationship just doesnt work. please.

okay the eidelons (googled their name) are going to get fucking decimated now arent they

i mean like i said i dont.... I DONT THINK ITS EVEN A GOOD CONCEPT TO ENTERTAIN. SHUT IT DOWN <3 ^_^

is jool about to die

imagine if jool just dieshere it'll be a little funny after everything she comes back and just-

jool?

hi sorry... UHM. EHRM. AWWWKWAARDDDDD

JOOL GIRL ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE LOL

dont SHOOT MOYA'S ASS COME ON NOW BE POLITE

"but im prEeGGNANT"

jesus fuCKING CHRIST HE JUST RIPPED OUT HIS HEAD RODS EEK OH EEKE SCORPY ARE YOU WELL

see okay i already didnt care about the eidelons being, like, the solution to the war - it doesnt make sense - but also like... i dont like the implication that humans were sebacean's ancestors, which im pretty sure thats where thats going. sorry. its annoying. what i loved so much about farscape is HOW much humans are like... rempved from everythin, theyre so nothing... theyre not some big, significant race in the universe. theyre not, like, the moral fucking centre like in star trek. i know one of my LEAST faourite doctor who fan theories is th at the time lords come from humans- like come on, man? i dont care about explaining why they look alike! its NOTHINGGGG to me.

i also hate how "small" it makes the universe. i hate coincedences and i hate people bumping into each other. ts so fucking limiting, man. SORRY. circhtons isolation is so hard hitting bc hes so far gone from everything and anything hes ever known and should never be able to return to where he was from. just leaae it

bUHM

UHM, IS DARGO AND CHIANA OKAY

UHM HELLO HEY GUYS

HEY GUYS ARE THEY FUCKING OKAY

LIKE JOKES ASIDE WE DID NOT EVEN SEE THEM SO EHRM . LIKE I MEAN WE DIDNT- DID WE? I MEAN- NO WAY THEYRE FINE.. HUH

"You will die, when I order it." "okay :<" HELP

OKAY DARGO BABY IS OKAY OHGOD- OH OH MY GOD THEYRE ALIVE I KNEW THEY HAD TO BE FUCK OFF.. FUCKING CHRIST

I LOVE THE WAY THEY FUCKING KEEP PUTTING DARGO INTO SPACE. THE BILLIONTH FUCKING TIME. ITS SO FUNNY SORRY. LET GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!

the scarran emperor should just get this man. theres no way

im sorry I DONT CARE FOR THESE GUYS ITS SUCH A WEAK ASS CONCEPT. certainly i love the idea of negotiation and peace- but just some fuck random negotiator, please, i dont care. im fine with peace negotiations as resolutions - god, yes - but when its between parties that are actually engaged and dont have some ambiguous powers ... like cmon you cant fucking just magically fix INTERGALACTIC POLITICS. LIKE THIS. like come on be for real. "the secret of peace" - please....

OH THANK GOD CHIANA AND DARGO ARE- HELP THATS SO FUCKINH GUNNY... THATS- THATS JOTHEE?????? YOURE LYING. THATS SO FUNNY.

ALSO THERE-

YEP

I MEAN IT WAS OBVIOUS THE EIDELON(?) owuld jsut die but againe ven FUCKING.... entertaining it i cant STRESS how much i didnt care like come on be REAL . BE FOR REALL. -_-

guys what the fuck did you do to stark GUYS COME ON . LEAVE HIM ALONE.

ARE Q E STOPPING THERE

OKAY

END OF PART 1

I DD NEJOY THAT I MEN I DID HONESTLY HELP

[reidsnose]

Black Eye

overview: reader and spencer go to reader's highschool reunion as a fake couple

genre: fluff i think

warnings: mild violence and swearing, a guy being kind of a total creep, and mentions of bullying

a/n: idk if its any good again just love the idea but it was inspired by a dream i had last night (thank you temporal lobe) so yeah let me know what yall think !! :) also im posting this at like ass oclock in the morning so whoops

masterlist

-

-

you and spencer had gotten yourselves in quite the situation.

your dreaded highschool reunion was just around the corner and you made the mistake of complaining about it to penelope. she was always trying to make everyones life easier (and more interesting) so when she heard you had no date she took it upon herself to find you one.

it didn't take a lot of looking, none at all actually; because Penelope had already been trying to figure out ways to get you and Reid together.

you two were undeniably perfect for each other. you were an amazing team at work, you hung out alone all the time (though both of you denied these hang out as being dates, Garcia had her own ideas on this), and you were both very obliviously head over heels for each other.

and somehow, through the magical ways of Penelope Garcia, you and Spencer were now sitting in the parking lot, fake married for your high school reunion.

"do we need to go over our back story again?" you worried, looking up at him.

"our backstory is basically all true anyway we just fall in love after a little bit. and i have an eidetic memory so i remember; you're my wife you should know this!" he joked, trying to relax you. "we got this! we're gonna be so married!"

Spencer had actually never been this nervous in his life but he was trying to be brave for you. it would be more embarrassing for you both to show up like nervous wrecks than if you had just come alone. he was just happy to get to be fake married to you.

"the marriedest!" smiled, fist bumping him.

"now lets go make some people jealous!" he chuckled getting out of the car and jogging over to your side, opening your door before you got the chance to; like a true gentleman.

you stuck out your hand which he happily took into his, neither of you commenting on the redness you both had sprinkled across your cheeks. as you walked in, you saw all the people you dreaded seeing.

the boys who tormented you were balding and the girls who made sure you felt awful everyday had wrinkles riddling there skin. you were surrounded by botched botox and bleached blonde to cover graying hair. you felt terrible to admit it, but you were a little happy to see that their beauty had faded like this; they made their looks their whole personality in high school, you couldn't help but wonder what was left for them to be. not that it mattered, but you and Spencer were undeniably the most attractive couple there.

you actually had an ok time, you had spotted a few of your friends that you hadn't seen in quite a few years and it was nice to catch up.

Spencer had wondered a bit, but not too far, he was talking to some guys who used to be in science club when you were younger. you smiled at the thought of what they might be talking about.

"y/n! hey youve really filled out!" you heard a gruff voice from behind you.

you turned around and were met with the very unappealing face of the ex quarterback. Spencers attention had been caught at the sound of your name.

"um..hello," you muttered, trying to covertly back away from him.

"i see youve got a ring, interesting i dont remember us getting married!" he said in an incredibly creepy tone.

"do you know im a federal agent now?" you said through a gritted smile.

spencer had already begun walking towards you, he could tell something was off.

"ill tell you what sweetheart," he put his hand on your shoulder, pulling you slightly closer to him, "you can put me in handcuffs any day."

you threw his hand off of you and drew back your fist, but were cut off before you could deliver the punch but his hand engulfing your own, and squeezing.

"THATS MY WIFE!" spencer yelled in a voice you had never heard from him before.in the blink of an eye he was standing between in front of him. "do not ever talk to her like that, let alone lay a finger on her or so help me God i will-"

"what beanpole? what are you gonna do? what if i did this?" the man asked.

and then he sent a swift punch to Spencer's face.

thats gonna leave a mark.

in a matter of seconds, Spencer had him overpowered, laying face first on the floor with his hands uncomfortably angled behind him, completely helpless.

"now i'm going to let you go and you're going to walk out of here unharmed. if you try anything like that again, ill let my wife handle you. and i promise if she gets a hold of you, you'll be a dead son of a bitch." Spencer muttered in the mans ear, gruffly pulling him up by his collar and shoving him towards the door.

"were leaving." you said, grabbing Spencer's hand, trying to ignore how incredibly attractive he looked right now.

"babe if you want to stay we can stay," he offered as if he didn't just have his shit kicked in by a coward with misogynistic tendencies.

"honey, i want to take you home," you smiled, liking the way it felt to call him a pet name. you walked into the parking lot, "what were you thinking?"

"i was thinking this guy is trying to hurt you and i was not going to ever let that happen." he answered confidently as you two reached the car. "plus this totally made the marriage thing more believable. i wouldn't get a black eye for just anyone."

"thank you. i'm sorry you got punched trying to protect me." you sighed, feeling incredibly awful about the whole thing.

he chuckled, "id do it again."

you fought hard against the blush creeping up your face.

"i gotta say, the black eye really suits you. you look pretty badass." you chuckled, trying to change the subject before it got too sappy and you said something you shouldn't.

"maybe it should just be my new look," he joked, looking down at a ping from his phone. "uh oh."

"we have a case?" you asked.

"yep. and hotch wants us in the office asap which means we cont stop by either of our houses." he sighed before starting the car.

the drive was mostly silent. but a comfortable silence. Spencer thought about how in the moment, he didn't care how many punches the guy threw at him, as long as it meant you were ok, he was willing to take it. he knew he loved you far before that moment but that truly solidified it.

at the same time you were thinking of how quickly your time as a 'married couple' was over. it felt so right to call Spencer yours. so unexplainably perfect for the two of you to be together. if only your time wasn't cut short by a sucker punch.

you neared the building's parking lot. you looked over at Spencer who you could very easily tell was lost in his own world.

"whats going on in that beautiful head of yours?" you asked, causing him to stifle a smile.

"just thinking." he answered.

"what about?"

"us." he stated, pulling into his parking spot.

oh. oh.

"do tell."

he hesitated, "if i tell you, and you disagree, do you promise it wont change anything about us?"

"i promise."

"did it feel right to you? us being together?" he asked, his eyes innocent and filled to the brim with a mixture of anxiety and adoration as he looked at you.

"yes. it absolutely did. and i was so mad at the assclown for cutting our time short," you admitted, "and punching you in the eye, obviously."

"i- i'm not sure how to ask this but- do you...would you..sorry i-" he stammered.

"yes."

you cut him off, pressing your lips to his. his hand gently cupped your face, deepening the kiss and you both felt like you were on cloud nine.

"thats exactly what i was trying to say," he cracked a dopey smile, causing you to chuckle.

"i've been trying to say it for so long." you confessed, causing him to smile impossibly wider, "we gotta go hotch is waiting."

"just one more kiss?" he asked, which you gave in to, obviously. and then another. and another.

maybe it was good thing that he got a black eye that day, because when you got to the office the whole team was so focused on it they didn't even notice the hint of your lipstick left on spencers lips.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos

[riofann]

Meet The Parents

GIF by: @leelakoiwolff​

A/N: Part of The Spooky Series

Warnings: some violence, cursing, mentions of smut, 18+ crowd

Things between you and your boyfriend Oscar were not going so great. The honeymoon phase was over and now it just seemed like all you two did was argue over dumb shit. You actually hadn’t talked or texted him in over a week after your last blow up, both of you had too much pride to back down. However today was ‘Santos Day’ and there was going to be a big party at Spooky’s house. All the Santos would be in attendance.

You and Letti had decided to bake a cake in celebration

“What type of cake should we bake?” she asked

“We should make it like the Santos sign, the cross and all”

“Oh yea! We should, good idea!” 

You both rush to the grocery store to grab all the ingredients you simply didn’t have enough at home. 

“How are things between you and Spook?” Letti asked

You shrug “I don’t know haven’t heard from him”

“Well hopefully with ‘Santos Day’ being today it will break the ice and we can double date again!” She was Sad Eyes' girlfriend. Very sweet young lady cared for Sad Eyes and Santos like they were her family. 

“Yea...” you said agreeing but deep down you weren’t so sure. The argument you had was so stupid you couldn’t even remember how it started, but it did, and one thing led to another which resulted in Oscar grabbing his things and leaving slamming your condo door behind him. 

~~~~As the time approaches you both get ready. You didn’t put much effort into your outfit, black jeans white top, and converse, you weren’t planning on staying anyway. You had a back up plan texting your cousin Sasha earlier in the day making plans to hang out with her and her boo. Even if it was third wheeling, you’re positive it would be better than having to pretend all was okay between you and Oscar. 

As you both arrive there are cars all over the street so finding parking was quite difficult. You had to walk a bit before you got to the house carrying cake in hand. 

“HHHEEEYYY!” Letti greets as she enters “Look what we brought!”

“Damn thats a cake?” Cesar asked 

“Yup we made it for ‘Santos Day’”

“Damn!”  

“Yo Spook!” Lucky one of his men called him to “Get in here!” 

Oscar slowly rose from his chair in the back of the house and walked in

“Look at the cake!” Lucky speaks to him pulling him in the direction of the cake 

(A/N:The cake is a replica of Cesar’s back tattoo, with cupcakes spelling out Happy Santos Day) 

“We made you a cake for ‘Santos Day’!” Letti says exited

“Hope you like it!” you added 

“Looks good, before we eat it call everybody into the house” Oscar said

You stood next to Letti and watched him give a speech, thanking The Santos for being his make up family and watching over his little brother Cesar. Afterwards it took you and Letti some time to cut and distribute either cupcakes or cake pieces to everyone, by the time you were done both Oscar and Sad Eyes had migrated back to their chairs in the back of the house and were just relaxing listening to conversations. Letti left to be by Sad Eyes before you did. You were doing a little bit more cleaning there were beer bottles and cans everywhere, red solo cups all over. You just wanted the place to be a little bit neater. 

When you step out to find the crew there's a couple girls sitting close to Oscar, flirting with him this was normal you had gotten used to it by now. 

All the ‘important’ Santos sat in the circle, as you approached the group a few attempted to offer you their seat but you declined and made your way to Oscar.

You bent over next to him putting your hand on his shoulder. “Hey!” he gave you that notorious mug and you quickly removed your arm, so much for breaking the ice he was still mad at you, “I'm gonna go, I’ll see you later okay?” He didn't respond, just give you a look you couldn’t read besides anger and irritation. “bye babe” you say before kissing his cheek

“Bye guys Happy ‘Santos Day’ drink up be merry yea?”  you speak to the group

“Where you going?” Letti asked 

“Yea what's up with that?” Sad Eyes chimed in

“Come on you can’t leave” someone else spoke up

“Sorry guys, my cousin Sasha and I made plans. I'll see you guys later.” you wave goodbye and quickly make your way down the driveway. Everyone knew there was bad blood between you two but nobody knew exactly what.

All eyes turned back to Oscar, who you feel boring a hole into your back

“Watch out” Letti said to Sad Eyes as she stood from his lap. “Y/N!” she called to you by this time you were walking down the street to your car. When she caught up you were wiping away your tears

“Yea!”

“You can’t leave, talk to him”

“I’m tired of being the one who always surrenders Aletticia!” you vent

“Y/N come on you guys are good together”

“Maybe we aren't suppo...”

Before you can finish Oscar had caught up with you two and was standing a few feet back “What’chu guys talking about?”

You turned to look the other way while wiping away your tears 

“Nothing Spooky we’ll be in soon” Letti answers

“I gotta go” you say hugging Letti “I’ll talk to you later” 

“Vamos” Oscar called tilting his head backwards

Letti begun to walk towards him 

“Not’chu,” he points at you “You, Y/N vamos” “Oscar I have...” you protest 

He interrupts once again “Cancel them”  he said stepping closer 

“Fine” you said walking towards your boyfriend, you had given up and you knew if you made this an issue things might get worse 

“AAAYYEE you came back!” Sad Eyes celebrates

“Have a seat” Oscar says to you as you approach his chair 

“Yea!”  you say forcing a smile 

You text your cousin canceling movie night plans it worked out for her anyway, she was getting hot and heavy with her boo thing. 

When Oscar returns he has another beer bottle in hand and a red solo cup “Here” he said handing you the drink. “Taste it”  He knew beer wasn’t your thing, you hated it, you would rather go for the liquor. 

You take a sip and smile. He made it just how you like, sweet. “It's good thanks”

He pulls you to stand up before sitting down on the chair and pulling you on his lap. He adjusts a bit and you sit still, your back is straight up you haven’t relaxed into him yet, your body is tense against his. 

“You comfy?” he asks close to your ear

“Mhmm” you nod taking a sip 

“Ven aquí”  he says pulling you closer to him practically forcing you to lay on him wrapping one arm around you resting his hand on your thigh

You don’t make a noise but just sit and sip on your drink. You didn’t do well with confrontation let alone a full blown in your face argument. You always needed verbal confirmation that things were good between you two before you felt at ease again. 

Your phone vibrates and it's a text from Letti

Letti: TALK. TO. HIM

You look up at her scolding you. You know Oscar has seen the text because he chuckles out of nowhere. 

You sigh and run your fingers through your hair. 

“Changed your hair?” 

“Yea” you had made it lighter and added a few highlights “you like it?” 

“It's cool,” he could care less you could be bald and he would still think you were the baddest in the group “what’chu been up to?” 

“Just work” you answer curtly

He nods and takes a pull from his blunt. He blows out the smoke. 

Out of nowhere you squeal from the sensation that just hit you causing the group to look at you “Oscar!” You say smiling now trying to get out of his lap, he was pinching your sides knowing they are your ticklish spots

“What?” he asks smiling while he pinches your side again causing you to squeal 

“Stop” you squirming around his lap

“Talk to me then, like Letti said”

“About what?” you ask looking in his eyes 

“Anything”

“Okay what happened to your hand?” you ask the obvious

“Don’t worry about it”

You shrug “I have no other questions”

“I got a question”

“Okay”

It takes him a moment before he finally speaks “How come i ain’t never met any of your family only your grandma who used to live down the street”

You turn to look at him and hold a puzzling look

“What cat got your tongue?”

“No,” you were putting two and two together  “is that why you're mad at me?”

“Answer the question.” he responds calmly before taking another pull from his blunt

“You answer the question!” you could really be difficult to deal with sometimes. 

“I mean we been dating what six, seven months you’ve met my entire Santos crew i don’t  even know your moms first name”

“I don’t know” you shrug “we have never really talked about it, i didn't think you cared”

“You embarrassed of me or something?” his facial expression changed to a serious one

“No! I am not”

“So whats up then?”

“We literally haven’t talked about meeting my parents i didn't think it mattered but i am not embarrassed of you! Don't think that!” 

“So when can i meet them?” he asks challenging you

“Uh” you hesitate before answering “I can text them and find out when would be a good time”

“Do it then”

“Now?” 

He nods “Yea”

“Its one in the morning”

“So? When they wake up they’ll see it”

“Okay” you say pulling out your phone and type the message “happy?” you ask showing him the text 

He raises his brow and shakes his head looking away 

“Hey” you say, making him look at you. “I am not embarrassed of you and I’m sorry if i made you feel that way.” 

“It’s cool, give me a kiss”

You leaned in to plant kisses on his lips. You two always did 3 meaningful kisses followed by an eskimo kiss

“There we go there we go!” Baldie, another one of his men, claps “WHOO that’s what we want to see!” You both flick him off before returning to the conversation. 

~~~~~A date was finally set for Friday night. Oscar was to pick you up from your condo and you were both to arrive by 7PM.

“Come on Y/N we are late!” he fusses, he was so anal about time

“It’s fine i guarantee you my mom is waiting for me to help her cook”

“Yea but i don't want my first impression to be bad i already got strikes against me”

“Like what?”

He counts on his fingers “Like my tattoos, my occupation, my record”

You shrug “I dont care about those”

“But your parents will”

“Are you dating them or me?” you challenge 

“Ay! Esta mujer! Vamos!”

“Okay! okay! im done sheesh!”

You both don't say much during your ride there. Truth be told you were both nervous. When you pull up to the affluent community, Oscar feels his nerves raging he didn’t care about them not liking him but what if they influenced you to feel the same?

He parks the car looking at the houses around him 

“DAMN you lived like this?” He asked 

“Yea” you shrug it was nothing special to you but for someone who grew up like Oscar it was something

“Ready?” you ask as you hold his hand pulling him towards the house

You open the door and call out, “Mom?” the dogs start barking, two Samoyeds run up, “Hi Tweety, Hi Sylvester, how are you I missed you!”  you greet them, Oscar does the same bending down to rub their heads, “Mom? Dad?”

You hear talking further into the house “they must be in the kitchen come on” 

You walk through the house and find them deep in conversation, in the kitchen 

“Hey mom, hi dad”

“Ahh Y/N you finally made it!” your dad comments he stands up and  glances at his watch. Oscar could pinch you right there “right on time!” He walks up and gives you a hug

“Hi sweety” your mom chimes in, giving you a hug too

“Hi mom this is Oscar, my boyfriend, Oscar my mom and dad Jennifer and Nicolas” 

“Nice to meet you son, come here” your dad said pulling him in for a hug

“Hi give me a hug too” 

“Nice to meet you guys”

“You guys got here right on time, dinner is almost ready! Y/N why don’t you help your mom finish up” he speaks to you before turning to Oscar  “let's go for a chat shall we? What's your poison?” your dad asked

“I'm good with anything sir,” this was his first time meeting parents. “Oh no, Call me Nicolas”

The two men walk away and your mom’s smile drops

“Really Y/N?”

“What mom?”  you say preparing yourself 

“Him? Of all people Him?” 

“Yes HIM” 

“What about Brett”

“Oh you mean the piece of shit who cheated on me repeatedly?”

She huffed handing you the salad bowl “what do you think is gonna happen, hmm? That you two can live happily ever after?”

“Why can't we live happily in the moment?” you argue 

“How long have you been dating?”

“Almost 7 months”  you mumble 

“7 MONTHS!” 

On the patio Oscar and your dad’s head snap at the direction of the scream

“Don’t mind them so tell me about yourself Oscar,” he motions to his cheek indicating the same spot as Oscar’s tattoo “is that tattoo real?”

“Yes” 

“Killed someone? That's what that means right?”

Oscar adjusts in his seat “Something like that?” he wasn’t sure how much he should reveal of himself. 

“Well did you?”

“No, attempted, self defense” he takes a sip of his whiskey

“When did you get out?”

“Bout a year ago”

Your dad nodded as he analyzed his outfit. You had told Oscar to be his true self and not change a thing, so he was dressed in his Cholo garb

“The other tattoo?” He turns so your dad can see all of it “Santos” “Your gang?”

“Yea”

Your dad adjusts in his seat “So what plans do you have for yourself Oscar? Do you plan on being in a gang your whole life?”

“Honestly?” he was going to reveal his true feelings to another person, that would make two, you and your dad. 

“Yea honestly”

“Honestly im kinda tired of it, trying to figure out how to get out but things are kind of complex”

“How’d you get involved?” 

Oscar tells him the family history all of it, might as well tell him now and hold nothing back 

“Wow i'm sorry to hear that must have been rough”

He shrugs “I made it through”

“How long have you been dating my daughter”

“7 months”

“Wow! She kept you hidden for 7 months, we didn’t even know, as much as she came over we would have never known.”

“Yea it was my idea, for us to meet” 

Your dad nodded, “I know you know my concern is my daughter’s safety at all times” 

“She's safe with me”

“I don’t question her being safe with you. It's been 7 months and she hasn’t come back with a scratch on her. My concern is how involved she is in your gang life”

“She's not” 

“She's not?”

“No she knows what we do but i’ve never asked her to step in and do something on behalf of the gang”

“Okay good because my concern is not so much that you two are dating more or don't throw your life away because of loyalty to..”

Oscar cuts him off knowing where the conversation was going. “I get it. I would never ask her to do that. I actually want my brother to leave the gang life too”

“Well good i’m glad we have an understanding”

“Honey!” your mom calls from the patio door

“Perfect timing again! Come on Oscar let's go eat! I hope you like italian” 

They both stood up and begin to walk slowly towards the kitchen

“If you ever need anything, in regards to your exit from your uh ‘club’ let me know and i will see what i can do”

“Thank you, I appreciate that”

“No problem anytime my friend, anytime”

Dinner was awkward between you and your mom.  There was a huge argument over you dating Oscar, but otherwise the conversation was kept light. Afterwards you both hang around, allowing mostly your mom to get to know him better before you leave. 

You both get in and say nothing for a few minutes until you hit the highway. 

“What did you and my dad talk about?” you ask 

“Don't worry about it” he says looking over at you flashing a smile

You knew that was good news you didn’t need to know the details

“What was that screaming we heard?” he asks you 

“Oh uh my mom was upset that i kept you hidden for almost 7 months”

“Did you tell her it was your fault?”

“YES” you roll your eyes

“What did she say?”

“She wasn’t happy” 

“And?” he knew that wasn’t all of it

“And said other things you know typical mom stuff” 

“She doesn’t like me huh?” he says knowing the truth you were hiding

“Yet, doesn't like you yet”

Your mind drifts off to the conversation in the kitchen

“7 MONTHS!”

“Mom!” you didn’t want Oscar to hear you two

“What? 7 fucking months you’ve been dating that!....that!...” 

“Human being” you cut her off before she said something else more degrading

“Why would you throw your life away?” she now stands across from you 

“I am not throwing my life away I still work at the firm, my behavior hasn’t changed, He hasn't asked me to do anything”

“Yet”

“Oh my god of course”

“Yet Y/N! What if you are in danger?” “He will protect me!”

“How? By brandishing a gun and shooting it? Then what about you huh? If you get shot?”

“I won't”

“Yet”

“Mom!”

“Yet Y/N do not mom me! I knew i shouldn’t have allowed you to go visit your grandmother”

“He is not that type of person!”

“YET!”

“Are you serious right now?”

She moves to stand closer to you “Riddle me this. Are you willing to pull out a gun and shoot?”

“IF I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF YES”

“What about him? Huh? Are you willing to shoot someone on his behalf?”

You shrug “Yes why not?” 

“So you're just gonna throw your life away like that?”

“Mom, dad has guns, are you telling me if some person came to hurt you guys you wouldn't defend yourself and dad?”

“I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is when you associate yourself with people like him it's hard for society to see your true intentions, you will be reduced to nothing but a gang banger girlfriend.”

“Mom can you give him a chance, please!” 

“And he has a teardrop tattoo! So that means he has done time in prison?”

“Yea so what?” you shrug She stood back shocked by your nonchalant attitude“Y/N i honestly don’t know who you are anymore!” 

“I was the same daughter who came to visit last week. You didn’t have concerns about my person then!” 

“Because you were hiding him from me!” 

“Because I knew you would react like this!”

She threw her hands up in frustration “Y/N I can’t do this with you!” “Mom, I don't want to date rich guys. I want to date regular people. All the money we had and i still ended up depressed with anxiety and all the boys and men I have dated they didn't care about me the way he does. So can you please just give him a chance?” you beg

She scoffed “and you think you’re so special huh?” “Yes!” 

“I can't believe you. I am very disappointed in you. I raised you better!”

“This is why i kept him a secret”

She scoffs “don’t put this on me!”

“Fine it's my fault i'm a shitty daughter i’m a big disappointment. Sorry i couldn’t find a rich guy to fuck like you did” you argue back

You feel a sting across your face, “typical” you say as you hold your cheek. This was part of the reason you moved out. You two just couldn’t seem to get along. 

“You watch your tone!” she threatens now squaring up with you, waving her finger in your face

You take a deep breath and move back “You seem to easily forget where you grew up.” You wipe away the tears. Your voice breaks as you speak “I don’t need your approval. I don't need dad's approval. I really care about him, mother, he makes me happy, he takes care of me, he keeps me safe, isn't that all that matters?”

“What if he gets locked up?”

You shrug “Then he gets locked up!” 

“Are you gonna wait 10 years? Waste your life away waiting for some thug to get out of jail before you live life?”

You take in a deep breath before you speak “He wouldn't let me do that. We already discussed this. As soon as he goes to jail we are done. And that's part of the reason why he is trying so hard to NOT go back”

“I don't know what to say”

“Just give him a chance. I tried it your way I really did. But the men of today aren’t like dad, the rich spoiled men aren’t like dad they don’t care and they all treated me like shit. Oscar has never done that to me”

“When all of this comes crashing down don’t ever say, i never warned you”

“That's okay i know dad has my back even though you don’t” you say as you walk away 

“Y/N!” she huffed as you walked away. 

“Y/N!” Oscar calls your name 

“Hmm!?” you say turning to face him  He rubs on your thigh “You okay bebita?” 

“Mhmm!” you hum taking his hand into yours

“I asked what you want to do? My place or yours?”

You shrug “doesn’t matter to me.”

He nods heading over to your place. 

The rest of the night goes smoothly but you can’t seem to get your mind off of the conversation you and your mom had. You don’t really sleep but listen to him snore lightly. Maybe your mom is right. Were you being that naive?  It was easier to pretend when your parents didn’t know anything but now it felt like reality was hitting you hard. And you start to remember the run-ins with The Prophets and how things were fine one second and the next it was war. You think about the gun he gifted you to protect yourself, it stayed in the night stand drawer.  He has shown you how to shoot it, how to load it, how to clean it, unjam it, all of that. What about your safety? You lived in a condo downtown with parking underneath the building, you started to wonder if he had been followed to your place, What about you? Had you been followed? Do his enemies know where you live? Do they know the car you drive? Should you get another car? What about your job? Your friends? Now your parents.  It was all too overwhelming and you didn’t have concrete answers for all it. 

When morning arrives you ease your way out of bed careful to not wake him up, you sit in the living room staring at the walls drinking tea, deep in thought. When you hear him wake up you rush to the kitchen pretending to make something for breakfast, so you pull out eggs, bacon, and fruit. 

“Morning” he greets you with sleep laced in his voice, you loved his sleepy voice 

“Hey good morning”

“Kiss” he states leaning down for your 3 kisses and Eskimo kiss “mmm making me breakfast?”

“Yes!”

He smacks your ass 

“Hey!” You say holding onto it

He smirks and you know that look all too well “what if i only want you for breakfast?” he asks picking you up placing you on the counter

“I’m not food”

“Speak for yourself”

You giggle as he bombards your neck and lips with kisses “baabbee” you whine

“Hmm?” he hums paying you no mind, he was preoccupied

“I have to cook”

“My meal is hot and ready” he says cupping your pussy

You erupt in laughter

“No seriously” you say pushing him away

“Why you being stingy?” he pouts playfully

You lean down to kiss his lips “I am not!” “You know i need it at least 3 times a week!”

“You got it 4 times this week” you counter back

“I can’t help myself it's so good, you got me feenin”

“Really Oscar”

“Plus 1 of them was a quickie so it didn’t count” 

“You came! So it actually does count” 

“Okay how ‘bout we go for the record do it all 7 days?” 

You laugh at his proposal, but you’re becoming weak to the temptation, he knows what buttons to push to get you going. The spatula you're holding drops to the floor, a result of you wanting to pull him in closer. He pulls you forward so your bottom half is hanging off the edge, he gently pushes you down on the cold counter. With one swift move he removes your shorts and underwear. You wrap your legs around his body so you don’t feel like you’re going to fall. He rubs up and down your thighs lightly, he knows you're anticipating  his next move. You roll your hips against his growing hardness. He reaches down and flicks your clit  with this thumb causing you to jolt away from him.

He grabs you holding you in place “don't run, i’m flicking the bean over here”

You can’t help but laugh, sex with him was just as goofy as it was intimate 

You watch as he returns his thumb to its place right on your clit and starts rubbing it in circular motions 

“I think i’m in love” he comments

“Are you talking to me or it?” you ask now curious 

“Shit i don’t know” he answers not looking up at you, he was mesmerized 

Before things get going his phone rings he groans in frustration but he is on a mission. It stops ringing and you hear it chiming meaning someone was texting him before it rings again this time you grab his wrist

“It could be important.”  It is important, phone calls signaled trouble

“Fuck men i can’t win!” he complains as he walks away from you. He picks up the phone and closes the door. You can’t hear much but after a few minutes he exits fully dressed. Gotta go

“Okay be safe” 

“I need my kisses,”  he says leaning in to give you a kiss. It didn’t matter how bad things were, he wasn't going to leave without getting his 3 kisses and nose kiss. You two actually argued about it once. He called them his ‘good luck kisses.’

A/N: as always please let me know what you think

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Geralt x reader We're Married? Part 1

Hey guys, thank you so much for all the love for my other story! I was so nervous posting it and you guys were just the best💕 this story was harder to write and I'm not sure it's as good as the other one but I'm gonna post it anyway. 

This can be read as a part 3 to the injured reader story:)

Part 2 here

Pairing: Geralt x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, blood, mentions of death, mentions of past sexual abuse.

*********************

Out of all the places you'd traveled too with the witcher, this had to be one of the nicest.

As you walked through the kingdom known as Servia you couldn't help but stare at everything around you. Vendors lined the streets selling everything you could possibly imagine, shining jewelry, beautifully woven fabrics, and oooooooh well well well what do we have here!!!

You made a beeline for the tray of freshly baked pastries, a seductive look on your face,

"Well hello boys...which one of you wants to come home with me hehehe, or perhaps I should take you all home? Oooh your so bad hehe, well if you insist hahahahaha".

From afar Geralt sighed and Jaskier just looked on with disturbing confusion, "Geralt? What exactly is she doing?" His face twisted uncomfortablely as you continued talking and giggling like a maniac.

"She has a thing about....desserts" Geralt closed his eyes and shuddered as he remembered the one time he left you alone in an inn and you used up all of his coin to order one of literally everything on the menu. He practically had to roll you away afterwards.

"My God geralt shes scaring the baker now".

Jaskier scrunched his mouth as he watched you continue to whisper to the pastries, completely unaware of the weird looks people were giving you." I swear brothel whores are more subtle.."

Geralt grunted and made his way over to you, "We'll uh...take however much this will get us" he placed a coin in the bakers hand and watched your eyes glint like a maniac when he handed you the box.

"There now that you have your sweets, can we please hurry! We can't be late!" Jaskier pleaded pushing you in the correct path again.

"Alright alright no more stops I promise....wait does anyone else smell chocolate?" You look around frantically.

"NO" the both of them shout in unison and drag you forward.

"Ugh ok, I was just asking geez.."you pout.

"Remind me again who we're meeting?" You questioned, looking up at Jaskier who rolled his eyes back at you.

"Ugh how many times do I have to tell you?!"

"His name is Yavert, hes the advisor of the royal family here and he also happens to be the man who requested our help".

You nodded your head, "oh yes I remember now" ok you actually had no idea what he was talking about but whatever, you'll figure it out.

Some time later you found yourselves gawking at the massive architecture that was the Castle de Servia. Calling it massive would be doing it a disservice. The structure went higher than your eyes could see and wider than any other castle you've been to. "Holy fuck.." Jaskier whispered in awe.

Geralt shook his head as if he was already fed up with it all, "let's go"

The guards led you through the castle and into a small side room. Red carpets lined the floors along with a beautiful mahogany table. The walls had several portraits, obviously of the royal family. You saw an older man, a woman, and a young girl about your age all ornately painted. Hmm why do people always look so upset in portraits. Couldn't the artist just add a smile?

A creak at the door gained everyone's attention. A man, probably in his mid fifties, entered. He was balding and on the fluffier side, dressed in a puffy sleeved shirt, with a velvet red vest over it.

"Welcome, please, have a seat, you all must be tired from your jouney" he said gesturing to the chairs.

"You have no idea what a relief it is to have you here Geralt of Rivia" a look of exhaustion fell over face.

"So what's the job" Geralt asked, straight to the point as usual.

The man looked uncomfortable for a moment before he scooted closer and leaned in as if he was telling a secret,

"Well..our...problem, began a few weeks ago when the alliance between Targeris and our own kingdom was official. Since then there have been several banquets of celebration, as there are still many things being discussed and processed. One of those being the upcoming wedding of our Princess Annora and their Prince Edgrin. Hence the big celebration we are having this evening, an engagement party of sorts."

"And the problem?" Geralt cocked a brow.

The man swallowed before continuing, "Well..since the alliance, there have been disappearances..."

"Dissapearances?" You echoed interested.

"Important Servia officials have suddenly been going missing..the first on the night the kings signed the peace agreement, the second when the marriage was announced.. and then.." he looked around wearily and lowered his voice even more, "things have gotten much worse.."

"How exactly did they get worse" Geralt inquired, suspicious of how Yavert was acting.

"At the last party, about a week ago, one of our ambassadors was found dead.."

Geralt narrowed his eyes, "what aren't you saying.."

The man gulped, " it was the way he died, no man could have..." he paused closing his eyes, obvious memories making him shudder. "No man could have done it, it had to be a monster".

"How can you be so sure?" You asked leaning in now intrigued.

"The body..was so mangled we could barely identify the man. His innards were ripped out and his eyes...they were gone. Clearly it was the work of a beast."

Geralt narrowed his brows, "I have never encountered a monster before that hand picks their pray." You nodded in agreement.

All the monsters you'd faced just destroyed everything in their path. And why would a monster suddenly decide to start targeting officials from Servia? It just doesnt make any sense.

"Please witcher, help us with finding and slaying the creature and we will pay whatever means necessary" he placed a large pouch in front of us.

"Hmm" geralt thought for a few moments, then turned to you wordlessly asking your opinion. A new habit that did make you feel more like partners.

You shrugged your shoulders in a "why not?" Sort of way.

"Alright what the hell.." he grabbed the pouch and stood up.

"Wait, theres a few more things you need to know.." Geralt sat back down with a grunt.

"It is important that you are discreet, no one can know who you or your companions are, not even the king and queen themselves.."

"What?!" Your eyes widened.

"They dont know?" Geralt asked completely bewildered.

"I have advised the king and queen since they first began their reign many years ago. They trust me with their lives I would never lie to them...except..." he sighed and continued, "we have been at odds with targeris for so long, and finally peace is withing our grasp.

But if the king catches wind of what's going on, he will no doubt blame Targeris. Our king is good, but his fault lies with his hate for Targeris. It took much convincing from everyone to finally have the king agree to peace. But he would quickly jump to accuse them. I have no doubt a war would begin if this were to happen...for the sake of peace, they cannot know.." he looked down in shame.

"And the king just doesn't notice all these officials have gone missing?" Geralt shook his head in disbelief.

"Well...we have done our best to cover them up...but the king is getting suspicious, which is why we need to figure out what exactly is going on before anything else happens."

Everything about this job just seemed off. A monster who hand picks their prey, disappearing officials, and the king hasnt even the slightest idea?

"How are we supposed to find this monster without having our identities revealed?" You cocked your head in question.

"Ah yes well, I have prepared an airtight alias for the both of you, after all if you're going to fool people, you will need real identities"

"Fool people? Why cant we just stay in the shadows until something pops up?". Monster hunting in your experience was much easier when there weren't people around. Probably monster hunting rule #1.

"Unfortunately you would not be able to as the king has eyes and ears everywhere, it would not be long before youd be questioned and ultimately found out." Yavert explains.

"Alright.." you say hesitantly, "So how are we supposed to track the monster then?

"So far all the accidents have occurred during nightfall. By blending in as elite members of society, no one will question you as you move about, not even the royal family."

God this just keeps getting more confusing..

"So not only do we have to worry about finding a seemingly brilliant monster, but also worry about being found out?" Jaskier piped in for the first time this entire conversation.

"Yes that's correct.." he nodded slowly.

"Unfortunately I was only able to manage 2 identities, you will be known as Sir and Lady Trestin. A well known name, although the couple is known for not socializing so the risk of someone recognizing that you're not them is extremely low, here are your official invitations you will have to present at the door." He slid some documents our way.

"Wait I'm sorry did you say couple? As in couple of friends? Couple of siblings? Couple of cousins??" Surely he didnt mean-

"The lady and sir Tristan and husband and wife..is that a problem?" He questioned eyebrow raised.

"No of course not.." Um maybe a little! Sure I've fantasized about it before *cough* but now to actually act it out?? This was going to be an adventure for sure..

"What about me?" Jaskier pipes in again.

"You can be our dog" Geralt says not missing a beat.

"Oh that's low geralt" he recoils dramatically.

"How about servant boy?" You offer with a shrug.

"Do I have to?" He gives a puppy dog look to Yavert.

"I'm afraid it's the only way" Yavert smiled slightly.

"Alright, now then, this is the address you will go to for preperation my lady and for the sirs, you'll come with me" you all stood up and parted ways.

Geralt as your husband? This could actually be fun..

‐------------------------------------------------

"OUCH" you yelled for the thousandth time at the stupid woman who's mission was to tighten your corset until your eyes popped out.

"I'm sorry my lady but this must be done.." you sighed holding the wall for support.

"Especially a lady as...." she trailed off.

"Curvy as you.." did this bitch just?!?!

"You're job is to get me ready not tell me I've eaten too many sweets in my day" you rolled your eyes.

"Besides its nearing winter, I need the extra fluff for survival purposes"

"Well I think a little extra meat on a girl is highly attractive" a new voice chimed in.

"Jaskier? When did you get here?" You couldn't help out the small laugh when you truly got a good look at him. He wore the typical servants garb but his hair had been slicked back. He looked like a boiled egg.

"Don't you laugh too! I swear you and Geralt are so mean to me" he dejectedly sprawled himself out on a cushioned chair.

"Speaking of.." you looked at the door, "Where is he?"

"Hes still getting ready, a sir takes much longer than a mere servant." You laughed at his miserable tone.

"Oh lighten up Jaskier, servant boys have plenty of fun at these parties too, I'm sure some lady will see your puppy face and take you in" you smirked.

"Let's hope so.." another girl came in this time holding a few brightly colored dresses in her arms.

"Turn around boy" the older woman scolded.

"And you, arms up!" You complied as she slid the softest fabric you've ever felt over your body.

Your turned to look at the mirror, "Eww gross no way, Jaskier look! I'm a pineapple!" You both laughed annoying the girls. "Alright next!"

*insert shopping montage with corny music here*

"This one?"

Nods head

Next!

Both nod heads

Maybe? Actually nevermind..

No

No

No

Next

Eww what even is this color barf in the spring??

No

WAIT! HELL YES!

Jaskier nods in agreement.

*Montage ends*

An hour later you were ready, the beautuful _____ colored gown was the perfect shape on your body. It wasnt like most of the boring dresses you had tried on. And you decided to ditch the corset..

"It isnt proper!" One scolded.

"But you have to admit, it's a hell of alot sexier.." Jaskier nodded looking over me.

"Plus I can actually breathe!" And besides how were you supposed to fight monsters if you couldn't move? You left that part out obviously.

The girls just shook their heads in exasperation and finished up your hair and make up in another room.

"There now you're ready" the ladies smiled in satisfaction and left. You thanked them and made your way out to where Jaskier was.

His eyes lit up when he saw you, "Y/n! You look amazing! Although you always look beautiful" he smirked taking your arm.

"Thank you Jaskier, after everything those ladies put me through I better look like a fucking goddess" you both laughed remembering how he had to hold you down while they waxed your legs.

Together you left the shop and you swore for a moment you forgot how to breathe. Now Geralt in full body armor is one thing, but princely Geralt? Well your dreams were Surely going to be wild tonight. Never had you seen the witcher so finely pressed before. It was very...refreshing.

His gaze rose as he finally noticed the two of you. You forgot how to breathe when he looked over you. "Well? What do you think?" You asked a little embarrassed.

"Well...no one will be questioning who you are when you're looking like that" the corner of his lips rose slighty and he stepped to the side, gesturing us into the waiting carriage.

That was a compliment right?? He meant like because you look so beautiful so one is going to ask questions right? Not, well you look like a snooty aristocrat so no one will question???? Ok I'm going with the first one. Stop overthinking geez.

The ride to the castle was quick and soon you were arm in arm with your "husband".

"Come along boy, don't dawdle" geralt teased behind him.

"Dont be mean" you lightly shoved him but couldn't help but laugh as well.

"What great friends I have.."he mumbled....

******************

Ok so that's part 1, lemme know if it's any good. Also I'm kinda new to this so I don’t know the tagging etiquette lol so I just tagged whoever asked. Also part 2 will be uploaded tonight too as soon as I finish editing xoxo 

@marvels-gurl @shane-isa-shame @waitingtobeimpressed @viking-raider @dream-alittlebiggerdarling

[chimcharstar]

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young. 

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

NO

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows? 

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

no

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof. 

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ 

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

w

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme 

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

:)

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo! 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

D:

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it. 

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube? 

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE 

[raefill]

I would legit love to hear you answers to every single question. I don't know if you feel like actually doing them all, but if you did... I'm JUST SAYING I'D READ THE ANSWERS, ok.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yeaaaah but my romantic prospects are pretty bleak tbh, I graduate and move away in a few months

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No, not really. But I’m not mad about it anymore.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”CUTE BABY CLOSE BY !!!!!!!!!

4: What’s something you really want right now?to cry, i’m having the big sads

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?always

6: Do you like the beach?i love the beach!!!!!!!!! i grew up in a seaside town, the beach feels like the best parts of home

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?yes ?? it was cramped and uncomfortable 

8: What’s the background on your cell?the photo of me, san, kahl, chez, frau, bagel and spags in the louvre

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?mine(right now), Thea’s, Lizzie’s, .. Keir’s?

10: Do you like your phone?yeah but i’d like it more if the screen wasn’t so cracked

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?lol no, it’s definitely not

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?i genuinely don’t remember !

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?rottweiler, i love dogs that look a little mean but have big hearts

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?pffffft, that’s hard to answer but i’d say generally emotional, most of the time it’s harder to get rid of emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?both ?! i want to support the breeding of endangered animals that happens in zoos and see the cute animals but also i love a good rembrandt ?!

16: Are you tired?exhausted

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?since i was born

18: Are they a relative?my mother!

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not a fucking chance

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?a few hours ago, i think

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?i don’t believe there’s a way to know nor do i think love works that way

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?hell yeah i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none!

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?“if you make bad choices, own them” - my dad 

25: What’s on your mind?god, everything, idk im having a high key anxiety day

26: Do you have any tattoos?one pretty big one on my thigh

27: What is your favorite color?black !!!!!!!!!!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?maybe tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes

29: Who are you texting?uhhh, no one? everyone is asleep

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?all the time, my gut rarely lies

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes, his name is keir and he’s one of my best friends

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?i mean i’m dating someone so i fucking hope so

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?no ? i dont think ? i’ve had people say they’re big or the colour is interesting but idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?i’d cheer her on

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?yes!

38: What do your friends call you?rae ?

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?pffft, yah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?my knee

42: What is it from?i fell over my own computer chair

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mum, i think

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?not right now, most i just wear my plain black docs

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?no, i just tie is back

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?no, i really dont like my ears, idk why

48: Do you make supper for your family?yeah, my mum and step dad can’t cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?ofc it does? what kind of bedroom doesn’t have a door? get these pretentious loft bedrooms out of my face

50: Top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3, youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?plenty!

52: Does anything on your body hurt?period pains are all the rage today

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?yeah but i don’t tend to cry until they’ve already left so i look like i take them just fine

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?water......... this morning

55: How is your hair?fine? a bit damaged from the cold weather

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?wish i was still asleep

57: Do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?i dont fucking know

59: Green or purple grapes?GREEN or get out of my face

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?tomorrow~

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?yes

62: When will be the next time you text someone?tomorrow!

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?probably in bed still, but asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, i was getting over the end of a four year relationship

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?no

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?no

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?this sucks

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?ten! and they’re mostly your fics corey, go figure

71: How many fingers do you have?ten

72: What is your ringtone?i dont know, my phone is always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months?22 ~

74: Where is your Mum right now?sleeping in bed probably, idfk, she lives hours away

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?we grew up and grew apart but we were still okay until i had about four-six months of depression where i had to stop myself from doing something stupid daily and he didn’t notice despite us living together and sharing a bedroom (and those times i told him and he shrugged)

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?yes! i still love them very much

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?annabelle

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?yes, there’s some grad students in the psych department called mike, they all look kinda the same too

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?yeah, i miss being able to do that regularly

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?more than i can count, my polyamorous ass has a crush on about seven people currently

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m talking to one of them

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?i’d literally never do this

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?depends which drugs and how often, no one cares about a joint every few months

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?i spilled my popcorn and managed to hide that i had spilled it from my date pahaha

87: Who was your last received call from?my mum, wow it sounds like i talk to my mum a lot more than i do

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?yes, i hate bugs, give me the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?time, energy, patience, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?no, i’m not someone who trusts easily

91: Do you sleep with your window open?only in the summer

92: Do you get along with girls?yes, anyone that doesn’t get on with someone because of their gender is an asshole

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?nope

94: Does sex mean love?hell no, it can be an expression of it but no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?yeah she wold be freaking the fuck out because she’s locked in a room!

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?no, actually, i haven’t

97: Did you sleep alone this week?yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?yes ? 

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?no, not at all

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?one of my besties, holly

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Sandcastles- Happy Lowman

Song- Sandcastle By Beyonce. Requested by @slytherinqueen394 Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting. Happy Reading Dollies.

We build sand castles That washed away I made you cry When I walked away, ooh And although I promised That I couldn't stay, babe Every promise don't work out that way, oh babe Every promise don't work out that way

Arriving an hour late for Abels birthday party, you hurried inside. "Hey I'm here, sorry Gem". You say as you put the presents on the table. "You're fine Sweetheart, nothing major happened". She said oddly. "What happened"? You eyed her. "Your Old Man with a croweater basically riding his dick". "What"? You screamed, storming outside where the BBQ was at. You searched everywhere, asked everyone if they saw him. No one in this club has seen a tall, bald, scary dude. You thought but then maybe they were just being nice and lying. Sighing, sitting down at the picnic table. All you could think was bad things he was doing. Looking up you saw him hand in hand with a croweater coming from the office. "You son of a bitch". You muttered under your breath. Watching them making their way inside, probably for round two. You followed. Sneaking in, you saw Gemma tell Happy that you were there. His hand released her hand and he panicked. "Well well". You strided to him, your hands on your hips swaying. "It's not what it looks like". He raised his hands. "Oh really, dont play that game with me". "I saw you coming from the office with this whore". You spat at her. "You bitch, this is dry clean only". She whined. "Well I suggest that you run or your dry cleaner is going to have a very hard time getting your brains out of your dress". You hissed at her. "You're fucking crazy". She snorted. "Happy, you might want to get rid of her or else". You warned as you took out your .38. Happy pushed he out the door. "Y/N she didnt mean anything to me". "Then why did you sleep with her"? "You weren't here, I got distracted". "By what fake hair, tits and a new pussy"? "No, I wanted you but your never here". He ran his hands over his face. "You want to know why I'm never here huh"? "I'm paying off the loans I have against the house so that we dont lose the house or you guys dont get throw back in prison". You screamed at him. Your face hot, your fist drawed up. "I told you not to worry about that". "How can I not, your here partying and I'm at home looking at the eviction notice". You started to cry but your wiped your tear and carried on. "Why didnt you tell me"? "That's why I'm late, I had to beg for them to give us another month". Happy groaned. "Hap I see that you dont care about us....about me". "So lets end it here". "Okay, we're done". He walked past you. Tears fell as you collapsed on the floor. How could he just end it so easily? You looked around, no one. You gathered yourself, fixing your face you walked to your car and left.

Dishes smashed on my counter From our last encounter Pictures snatched out the frame Bitch I scratched out your name And your face What is it about you? That I can't erase, baby When every promise don't work out that way No no oh baby When every promise don't work out that way

Dragging yourself in to a empty house, you couldnt remember the last time you were truely alone. Not wanting to sleep in your bed, you cleaned. Gather the dished from the previous night, the memories came to surface.

Flashback. Happy had just came home from a big run, you were getting ready for Abels birthday tomorrow. Putting dinner on the table, you called Happy. "Babe dinners ready, come eat". "I'm coming". Happy walked in and kissed your cheek. "What are you doing"? He asked as he took a bite. "I'm wrapping Abels gift". "I'm multitasking okay". You said as you giggled. "Why dont you take a break and eat with me". You looked at him, he had his puppy dog eyes that made you melt. "Fine". Sitting down beside him. Taking a piece of chicken in your mouth, you felt a hand on your thigh. "Happy we are eatting". You pushed him away. "I can think of something more delicious to eat". He grunted. You blushed hard. "What is that exactly". You bit your lip. Growling he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, slapping your ass. "I'm more of a shower  then a teller". He said as he raced to the bed room. You giggled helplessly. End of Flashback.

Standing at the sink, you had washed the same plate at least three times. Tears stinging your cheeks. The knock at the door made you come out of your trance. Cautiously you opened the door to a crying Happy. "I'm sorry". "Come in". Moving out of the way so he could come in, you smelled the booze and weed. "What are you doing here Hap"? You asked, folding your arms. "I screwed up in the most, worst possible way". "I'm sorry". "Can you stop saying your sorry, I feel like I should forgive  you but I dont want to". You said angrily. "I know, I wouldnt either". "But I'm begging you for your forgiveness". He dropped to his knees and crawled to you, wrapping his hands around your waist, his head on your stomach. "Hap, you cheated all because I wasn't there". "What is it like when I go away to my parents"? "Do you cheat"? "No this is the first time I ever cheated on you ever". "I dont even cheat on you when I'm on a run". You slightly smiled. "You'll have to change". "I'll change my ways". "I promise". You sarcastically smirked. "You'll have to earn my trust back, you promised you wouldnt cheat but that was broken". "I will do anything to make this up to you, I promise on my life". He got up and kissed you. You kissed back. "If you ever hurt me like you did, I will never be this understanding or forgiving". "Never again". Happy and you talked alnight. You wanted thing to go back to the way they were but something in you didnt want it to. It was a new start.

And your heart is broken Cause I walked away Show me your scars And I won't walk away, Ooh And I know I promised that I couldn't stay, bay... baby Every promise don't work out that way, no no no no no Every promise don't work out that way

[gallifreyansalt]

on my old DA from earlier this year, I did a tag 

time to see how my old answers have changed :)

tag is under the cut because im not evil

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Yep!

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Nope.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Ruff

4: What’s something you really want right now?

Cheesecake

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Not really

6: Do you like the beach?

Yes

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Jes I have

8: What’s the background on your cell?

My boyfriend c:

9: Name the last four beds you sat on?

Mine, uhm my parents, my cousins and uhm my other cousins

10: Do you like your phone?

yeah its chill

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

No, but it'd be boring if it did

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

uhm i dont remember

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

a rottweiler

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

a zoo!

16: Are you tired?

yeah

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

OKAY so my 1st phone contact is my boyfriend and I’ve known him roughly 9 months

18: Are they a relative?

Nope

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

No lol I’m good with my boo

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Just a second ago

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

definitely.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I would kiss them until their lips fell off

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

1 if you dont count a rubber band

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“try not to mistake, what you have with what you hate, it could leave come the morning!” -Matchbox Twenty, How Far We’ve Come

25: What’s on your mind?

My boyfriend is so cute I wish I had somebody to just spam with pics of my bf

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope

27: What is your favorite color?

Black, red and white

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Next time I see my boyfriend

29: Who are you texting?

My boyfriend (he’s my only friend rip)

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Uhm yes 

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YEP. 

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? 

Help I’m genderfluid. (Sex- I have one or two guy friends)

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I would hope my bf does

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Many times. (It never bothered me or made me feel special until I started hearing my boyfriend babble about my eyes at 2 am when he’s sleepy. The cutest thing I stg)

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would cry and then beat whoever the f--- is kissing my boo

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Feb. of 2017, I was ;-;

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

YES

38: What do your friends call you?

Atlas, Cammy, Cam (Cam is my birth name *belch*)

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yeah :/

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Yep

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

On my neck ;) (IM KIDDING I THINK MY HAND)

42: What is it from?

Colorguard

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Earlier today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My friend Katelyn

45: Do you have a favorite pair of shoes?

Yes

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

I will try, but my school dress code doesn't allow hats so I usually wear it up in a ponytail

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Nah

48: Do you make supper for your family?

No, we all make our own food

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Si

50: Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, Twitter, and The Sims Resource because im a cc no life

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Yes I do

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My back because I have to slouch in this chair to see my computer screen

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Depends

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Uhm... a soda ;-;

55: How is your hair?

Silky for once

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my phone to see how long I have to “get ready” (/sleep)

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Yeah, if their love and loyalty is real and strong.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

Well I had just turned 4, so I assume so.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Green 

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

When I see my boyfriend because I never get to see him so I always give him like giant bear hugs

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yeah. Far, Far away from here.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

After my boyfriend gets out of the shower (oh my god I have no friends)

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Probably asleep or babbling to my boyfriend about how I want to transfer schools already

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

dying (well said, old me)

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yes, I was head over heels for one of my guy friends

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

There are many

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Do my dogs count?

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I have exams tomorrow.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

2. (This page and also my tumblr page)

71: How many fingers do you have?

I'm not sure...

72: What is your ringtone?

The default ringtone

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

15

74: Where is your Mum right now?

In her room sleeping probably

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because we broke up woooaah

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Like one person

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

7th grade? Yes

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

I don't know anyone personally with that name, but I mean... Stranger Things.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

No, but I've woken up in someones arms < THAT WAS OLD ME OMG POOR BABY FALLING ASLEEP IN SOMEONES ARMS IS SO NICE AND CUDDLY AND WARM FUDGE

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

ONE c:

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Well... no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Yes c:

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I would never yell at hot people. Hot people are intimidating.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes!

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I had to awkwardly smile at my boyfriend and his parents as I snuggled in his jacket cause I was freezing. 

87: Who was your last received call from?

My friend Kate

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Yeah, and then my friends would do it too so we'd have like, 3000 dollars.

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Friends

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

yes

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

nah

92: Do you get along with girls?

No girls are mean (trust me I’m biologically female)

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Not that I know of

94: Does sex mean love?

okay this depends. in the way most people will think, no. But like, if you've been in a relationship for a while and want children then I think that's pretty dang lovey.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nah we’d probably just keep making out

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

No I have my doggos

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yes

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Meh

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Oh gosh I don't remember

[villainousunsub]

fuck alright lets do this 

tagged by @writerinthedarkabyss

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Nope, im a single bean

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Fuck no 

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

kittens

4: What’s something you really want right now?

those eggs that Hersey makes only around Easter

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Not like I should be.

6: Do you like the beach?

No, I get sand everywhere 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

All the fucking time

8: What’s the background on your cell?

lock screen is a galaxy and home is one of paris

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, my mom’s, my bro’s, and my aunt and uncles

10: Do you like your phone?

Yea

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

When do they ever?

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

my brother since he just got a phone

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Rottweiler

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional it hurts the longest and deepest 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

the zoo i could spend all day there

16: Are you tired?

my whole life all i wanna do is sleep

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

yikes i have no idea

18: Are they a relative?

no

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

no i only have like two and one is a guy and one is a bitch

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

never, ive never been kissed

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Hell no, just because they are the right person now that doesnt mean they will be forever

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

see last kiss ?

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

one-my rainbow braid bracelet 

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“Remember to breathe. It is after all, the secret of life.”-Gregory Maguire

25: What’s on your mind?

all the shit i need to finish/start

26: Do you have any tattoos?

no, not yet

27: What is your favorite color?

pretty blues 

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

who knows???

29: Who are you texting?

no one right now 

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

i really have never kissed anyone.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

my entire life

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

yea he is the best

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Yea but they are all friends or guys, so 

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yea

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

this makes me hate my life rn 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

of course

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

im done i swear to god

38: What do your friends call you?

Lauren, Lori, gorgeous, babe

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

im a feisty lil one so yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

oh yea

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

my legs are almost always covered in bruises

42: What is it from?

that is a good question and I too would like an answer 

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

yesterday

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mom.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yes but they are falling apart now

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

beanies are life on those days

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

No i love my hair too much 

48: Do you make supper for your family?

yes none of these fools know how to cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes

50: Top 3 web-pages?

AO3 Tumblr and Youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

yea

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my back is killing me right now 

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

depends on how close we are

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

water

55: How is your hair?

a mess 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

pop all my joints

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

I want to believe so

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

yea i was just a smol kid

59: Green or purple grapes?

PURPLE

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

????

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

hells yea

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

tonight for math hw 

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

sitting in my living room watching empire

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

walking into school

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

no... i dont think i really did

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

oh yea totally 

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

No

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

shit i forgot to do that paper

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

my entire academic career

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

5

71: How many fingers do you have?

all of’em

72: What is your ringtone?

truthfully i have no idea my phone is always on vibrate

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

still 17

74: Where is your Mum right now?

work

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

fucking asshole thats why

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

yea

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

a few

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

unfortunately yes

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Yea

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

nope

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

one

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Yea

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

probably not 

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

my idiot of a friend and probably like one DD 

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

yea i cant stand the smell of most of them

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

my brother put too much butter on his popcorn but didnt want to get a new one so i watched him slowly eat with regret on his face

87: Who was your last received call from?

My mom

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

NO!!

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

money, hours in the day, energy

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

big down fall for me

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

yea except in the dead of winter

92: Do you get along with girls?

Yea

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

i dont think so 

94: Does sex mean love?

hell no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

im not even-

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

^

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

Yea

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

of course

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yea

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised?

my brother 

[photographerguide-blog]

Photography legend Joel Meyerowitz: phones killed the sexiness of the street

New Post has been published on https://photographyguideto.com/must-see/photography-legend-joel-meyerowitz-phones-killed-the-sexiness-of-the-street/

Photography legend Joel Meyerowitz: phones killed the sexiness of the street

He chased parades, ambushed hairdressers and refused to leave Ground Zero. Over PG Tips and ricotta at his Tuscan barn, Joel Meyerowitz relives his most stunning shots

One day 55 years ago, Joel Meyerowitz was roaming the streets of his native New York with a 35mm camera when he glimpsed something through an arcade window that stopped him in his tracks. A young woman was standing with her back to him, tenderly grooming her boyfriends pompadour with a comb, just as Meyerowitz imagined she had curled the hair of dolls when she was a girl.

As we sit in front of the log fire in his converted barn in Tuscany in the February dusk, Meyerowitz remembers what happened next. I snuck up as close as I could and tried to capture the intimacy of that moment. I was very shy and it took all my courage if the plate glass hadnt been there, maybe I wouldnt have dared get so close. In the resulting print, the boy glances from the shadows into the camera with furrowed brow, a moment of pure vulnerability that a split second later might have curdled into rage at Meyerowitzs intrusion. And, just possibly, the photographer might have got his ass kicked.

Tender grooming New York City, 1962.

This was one of the American street photographers first images. Whats striking about it is not so much the bravura seizing of the moment. Cartier-Bresson, after all, had already made his name doing that and Meyerowitz was following the Frenchmans lead. Rather, it was that the seized moment was in colour. In art photography, there was still this huge prejudice against colour as if only black and white were aesthetically justifiable, he recalls. I never bought that: for me colour is essential; I instinctively felt I needed it to give my work force. Just as we have smell memories, we have colour memories. I mean the world is in colour, right?

Meyerowitz was seduced into photography earlier that year when, as a young art director, he witnessed an ad agency shoot by the great American photographer Robert Frank for a booklet he was designing. The way he weaved in and out of the girls he was shooting, my God, that was a revelation to me. You could move while working the camera. Wow! I wanted to do that, too.

Until that epiphany, Meyerowitz hadnt been sure what he wanted to do with his life. He was studying part time for a masters in art history and dabbling in abstract painting. After seeing Frank at work, however, he went back to the ad agency office that afternoon and quit. Harry, my boss, couldnt believe me. Later, though, he bought me a camera.

How much is that tiger in the window? New York City, 1975

From the start, Meyerowitz and fellow street photographer and friend Garry Winogrand sought to explore the erotics of the street: The heat of the gazes between people, the charged mystery that arises from capturing chance moments on the fly, he says.

In his new autobiographical photography book Where I Find Myself, Meyerowitz writes of those heady days: We loved watching the play of light on Fifth Avenue and how it gave meaning to things. We watched the seasons change and with it womens clothing getting lighter and sexier. We were living and breathing photography We felt we were part of a movement that was making photography more interesting than it ever was before.

But first he had to overcome his shyness. He did this with his initial project taking shots of bystanders at street parades. Nobody thinks theres anything odd about a photographer at a parade, so that gave me invisibility. One particularly successful image taken in New York in 1963 depicts a relaxed, smiling, cardigan-wearing African American man standing with his dog on the pavement next to a tightly wound white man in a suit who is holding his hand to his heart and glaring past the black man.

Seize the chance moments New York City, 1963.

Hes saluting the flag thats off camera, explains Meyerowitz. Its a superbly unresolved image but sets up all kinds of dual tensions black/white, genial/fraught, patriotic/not so much. You need to get on the streets and seize the chance moments, he says.

Of his street images, my favourite depicts a Frenchman who has fallen outside a Paris Mtro station one day in 1967. By this stage, Meyerowitz had started to take longer shots moving back from eight to 20 feet from what he sought to capture. Its a shift from chamber music to symphony. Everybody is looking at the fallen man, the chic young woman descending the station steps, the delivery guy pushing boxes on a trolley, a cyclist swivelling to get a better look at a strangers misfortune. A worker in overalls even steps over the prone man, carrying a hammer that takes on sinister import. Those fuckers, laughs Meyerowitz. Not one of them helps him up.

The image is an absorbing network of gazes and furtive glances. In the 60s and 70s you could look at my street photographs and trace lines from the eyes of people connecting with other peoples eyes, setting up these force fields.

As exotic as a tropical fish Sarah, Provincetown, Massachusetts, 1981

Today, what entranced Joel Meyerowitz about the street is all but dead. Nobodys looking at each other. Everybodys glued to their phones. But street photography still exists? Its thriving but not in the way I used to do it. The best street photographers now show humans dwarfed by ad billboards. The street has lost its savour.

As his work evolved, Meyerowitz became a tougher, indomitable street presence, and yet one like the best photographers able to charm his subjects into giving him what he wants. You can see that in the way he got swimsuited young women to pose guilelessly near his summer home in Provincetown, Massachusetts, for a series of early 80s pictures that prefigured Rineke Dijkstras similar subject matter. How, for instance, he inveigles a red-headed young woman as exotic as a tropical fish to pose for his camera, exposing her freckled arms.

You can see this process most clearly, though, in the pictures Meyerowitz took at Ground Zero. On 9/11 he was out of town, but headed home bent on the idea of photographing the aftermath. When I got to Ground Zero, I had my Leica out and then I got a thump in the back from a cop. They said: You cant take a picture here, buddy, this is a crime scene. Well, I argued with them its a public space, my city, I can do what the fuck I want. And I did.

His subsequent photo essay was a charged memorial to the grandiosity of the ruin, and the people who worked in it, hunting for teeth, bones, anything that might identify victims. The care they invested in this task brought to the vast physical dimensions of the site an intimate, spiritual dimension, he says.

Smoke Rising in Sunlight, New York City, 2001

The following spring, he was in Italy. The world had changed because of 9/11 and so when I saw the thousands of years of continuous cultivation of Tuscan landscape, it was great solace. In Where I Find Myself, Meyerowitz juxtaposes photographs of Ground Zero with the cypresses and fields of Tuscany theres a spiritual dimension to these rural images, too, a renewal by means of natural goodness in the aftermath of evil.

Today, the photographer has definitively swapped the street for the farm, the Bronx for a home in the hills south of Siena. He and his English second wife, the novelist Maggie Barrett, have spent the past four years converting a barn to a rural retreat. Weve uprooted from everything and settled here without family or much in the way of friends, but with each other. Its an experiment in intimacy. We drink tea (his wifes PG Tips) and he serves me week-old ricotta made by the farmer who lives next door.

Meyerowitz has described his urban photography as jazz, a sinuous dance through the streets with a handheld camera. Only later in his career did he add landscape to his repertoire. It happened in Provincetown in the late 70s. I moved every summer to somewhere where life was simple and I started to see differently. And what I saw, I needed to capture with a view camera, an 8×10 camera. With that you dont riff, you dont do jazz. You do what it tells you. So what was the appeal? Everything was rendered with this incredible visual acuity. It blew me away. His Bay/Sky series from the late 70s and early 80s, in particular, purge humans for the essentials of sky, sea and land.

Longnook Beach, Truro, Massachusetts, 1985.

For the past four years, Meyerowitz has retreated from the world into his studio, where he has been photographing humble objects hes picked up from Provenal brocantes and Tuscan junk shops. His work, he thinks, riffs on Czanne and Giorgio Morandis still lifes. Im obsessed with these pictorial puzzles. He started with two or three objects and has now moved on to grand arrangements that remind me of the complicated positioning of humans in his street photos.

Bald, sinewy (half a lifetime ago he missed becoming a US Olympic swimmer by thousandths of a second), and brimming with life, Meyerowitz turns 80 on 6 March. Any plans to retire, I ask, as he shows me out? Artists dont retire. We just move on to new creative obsessions. Well, thats what I do.

Joel Meyerowitz: Where I Find Myself is published by Laurence King on 12 March.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[itsraiden-blog]

Chapter One Lee Yang

 It's a vibrant morning in Roseport. The sun is high the birds are chirping and the sidewalks are busy. As my apartment window is open, i can smell the fresh scent of baked goods below. My ears fill with the noise of ships arriving at the port and fishermen voices at loud. Its a beautiful day as i begin to yawn out of bed. I start my day off with a fresh brew of coffee that i picked up from Marcos Coffee Company. I must say, its the best in town. With a   variety of beans to choose from you can never go wrong with the Italian roast. I recently moved to Roseport from Los Santos and i have already gotten a pretty quick start. I work as a  journalist at The Daily Globe. With rising crime rates and corrupt politicians in Roseport there will never be a day with out a story to tell.  Having lived in the city only a few weeks now. I have fallen in love with this place. The best place to visit is the Town square, with its shopping malls and busy foot traffic. Anything you'd wish to find would be right down there. As i pore my coffee i cant help but notice the obnoxious alarm going off whilst  the door bell ringing in an agitated rhythm. I swing the door open to see the fresh milk delivered at my feet as expected. If you're from anywhere else in the world such thing would be foreign, but here in Roseport its a common service. It's convenient to get milk when you don't have to leave the house. Besides, Market Goods is a busy and   often hectic grocery store. Good luck attempting to get to the refrigerated isle while soccer moms plague the store with there loud and unruly kids.  I quickly put on my business casuals as i prepare for work on a busy Monday. If you ever experience Monday traffic like ours, you too would be concerned of the rising population. In just a few weeks hundreds have moved to Roseport coming from all parts of the world. An interesting phenomena and one i am eager to discover. I mean, what happened that the population of Roseport increased tremendously? My boss, John, speculates its do to the rising cost of living in some parts of the world, along with Aldorria's immigration law. Who knew promoting foreign policy and immigration would get Aldorria on the map. Roseport the capital is over populated at the moment. So, i  choose to ride my bicycle to work. I would say i am a zero emissions guy, as i don't own a car. I must say Roseport is a city that appeals to cyclist over motor operators. With its expanding bike lanes and strict traffic laws the number of cyclist has increased. Besides, who would want to be stuck in traffic for two hours on a twenty mile commute to work? Not me, that's for damn sure.

  There it is the Daily Globe. The place where ill spend the next eight hours getting yelled at by my boss because of late published columns. I mean seriously they need to lay off me for a bit, but that's what i get looking to work at the number one news outlet in the country. We cover it all, from the corrupted elections of 2016, to the economic crisis of 2017. We are in for a record breaking year if we manage to cover these small gang groups popping up in the western part of the country. Gang wars have always been a hot topic. One, hot enough to drive me up the wall and drive others out of Ash Hill. Currently major players are embarking in major crime moves. Something the west has never seen before. We are talking about extortion, drug trafficking, prostitution, and whatever makes money illegally. Most likely you'll see it on the west side. Politicians have always said when population increase so does the crime rate. Who knows what will happen if this thing continues to Roseport.

I park my bike in front of the building as i am greeted by the security guard whose name i always forget. Bob? Bill? Who the hell knows. "Good morning Lee" he says as if he knew me more then just my name. Seriously i have never stopped to talk to that guy and yet, he always greets me. His over weight belly and messy light brown hair is off putting. Where did we find him? I should probably learn his name one day when i am not running late for work- again. Remember when i said cycling is better then driving? well, it use to, until all these new immigrants showed up in Roseport clogging up the bike lane.   As i scan my badge five minutes late at the employ portal, i notice a figure at the corner of my eye. As i turned to the figure i immediately notice one of my bosses looking at me with the sort of face your grandmother makes when you tell her the cookies weren't good. "Five minutes late? whats your explanation this time?" she utters with a death stare. I figured if you complement her she would ease off the stare. "Good morning Sandra" I pretend to sniff the perfume scent in the air. "I love your perfume today, what is it?". "Dont try to avoid my question" she quickly replies. "Yes, i was late but i need to really get going to work. You wouldn't want me to be late on getting these stories published would you? By the way your hair looks great today. You should give your salons number. Maybe i could get me a high fade... they-do fades right?" slowly avoiding eye contact as i awkwardly slide away. "Always with the compliments Lee. Very well, i hope to see your lousy story on my desk by noon" As she motions to leave she stops to finish with. "Oh, and thank you on the compliments. The salon is called NATEDOOS ask for Nate he does an amazing job." with a serious smile and a cold face she finally takes off into her office.   I quickly depart to the third floor via the stairs. Everyone knows you make sure you sweat a little; before you enter the third floor. If your coworkers see you not sweating when you're running late they tend to have this disappointing look on their faces. Oh and they look down on you as if you're a scum of the earth. I like to also complete some jumping jacks right before the third floor as it makes my sense of urgency more believable.     The Daily Globe is the heart of Roseport. You cant miss the huge spherical globe that sits on top of this massive skyscraper. Massive, but yet it doesn't compare to New York's skyscrapers. Shame, because it sure does look huge when you're on the 20th floor. The offices are clean and it resembles a call center but with out the depressing cubicles. Instead you see rows of desks and everyone just typing away at their computers while working in harmony to produce the top stories of Aldorria.   I manage to reach my desk to find some silly written notes my work friends like to make when i am late. The notes mostly read "loser, loser get to work on time" and "Did you ever find a girlfriend? i hear Betty is single" Betty isn't a real person but a mere inside joke of a very large woman whose name is Betty, yea don't ask. Josh and Merle need to lay off the notes. As i  am clearly the better journalist here. I am often tasked to write about Ash Hills declined economy? Boring! Seriously what a boring topic. I mean its the third year in a row politicians have managed to let Ash Hills economy into the dump. This impressing poor performance the city has put up each quarter makes for an interesting topic, one that i would not want to write. My luck huh.   Unfortunately, i have no say so on what stories i may be tasked to write. That's up to John. Our boss with the very creepy look. His little bald spot on top of his head doesn't help his case. He has managed to creep out every female employ and yet he still works here. What a mystery!   I gather all my reports on Ash Hills economy as i rush into the editors office while beating my friend Merle to the door. "Wow, fast to the door but slow to work? Wonder what you were doing last night" she then gestures to a derogatory remark evolving my male parts with my hand in a rhythmic disgusting but at the same time pleasurable motion. You get the picture. "Seriously, Merle not in front of John, you know he can still fire you!" "indeed i could fire you... reports please!" John shouts as he gets up from his desk with his palms and belly over the desk waiting to be handed our reports. Handing them over i sit down as Merle chooses to stand adjusting her poster as she prepares to get vocal. "John, i just wanted to let you know i think i have found out what really happened to the missing boats in Roseport..." As John looks up from my reports he starts to focus onto Merle. I sit there patiently waiting my turn noticing the awful dusty office John works in. I cant help focus more on his dusty earth globe, dusty bookshelf and as i look closer to his dusty keyboards my eyes happened to notice on the left of his computer a box of half eaten dozen of donuts. Seriously do the janitors hate him too? "Go on Merle what did you find?" Merle musters out her words "Well, you see the boats actually didn't go missing." "Is that right?" John leans forward in interest only to have been blocked by his imploded belly. Talk about glazed donuts. "Yes, reports from sources within the coast guard have noticed ships changing course before sailing to the port." "Have they tracked where they're heading to?" he replies as he slowly grabs a doughnut from the box. "Well, it appears a spokesperson for the coast guard has actually hinted that these boats are heading towards Turtle Beach." Confused John mumbles with a mouth full as he slowly begins to lick his finger with out completely munching down his doughnut. "Turtle beach?" "Yes, Turtle Beach." Merle quickly replies as she begins to get slightly agitated with John's professionalism. With a loud swallow and a blink in his eyes he responds with. "Why would fishery boats head to Turtle Beach?" She replies as if she had just uncovered a huge mystery. "Turtle Poaching! It appears some fishery boats are avoiding the coast guard by not docking in Roseport and instead they head south to Turtle Beach to participate in illegal poaching. Then, once they are done, they head back to Roseport with the turtles hidden inside larger fish.  " "Why don't they inspect the fish?" I mentally face palm my brain as i could see that illogical question coming a mile away. "You see the fish companies in Roseport have the coast guard on there payroll. Hence the coast guard turns a blind eye." she takes a deep breath and sits back awaiting Johns reaction. In a slow suspenseful demeanor John stands up as bits of crumbles fall from his tie. "This is great work Merle! I need you and Lee to work together on finding out who is behind all this poaching and how they managed to get the coast guard on their payroll" he looks at me as with the sort of face that would hint towards a favor.. "I need you to stop being late. You'll help Merle investigate this story. Have this issue published on Sundays paper. Headlined 'Poachers Strike the Turtles, Coast Guard turns Blind" In an awkward pause we stare at John to see his awkward hand gesture . Crickets playing in my mind i looked over at Merle thinking she would frown hard but instead she had a little smile on her that complicated my readings of her. Did she like the headline? or did she get astound by Johns goofy hand gesture? Who knows. "Oh, Lee I'd like for you to begin by grabbing my coffee, you'll find me at my desk. You work for me now!" playfully laughing as we exit the office .   As my deep thoughts fade on what just happened  i enter the employ break room and notice Josh throwing his flirt moves at the new girl Sara. He quickly notices me and darts me way with the kind of smirk only a rolling stone could wear. He whispers"I think Sara has the hots for me my man." he quickly looks to see if Sara exited the room as he catches a shy glimpse of her curvy bottom. "You think everyone has the hots for you Josh, you should probably not poke the new girls and actually get some work done." Josh comes back "Did someone get all hurt cause they got a new boss?" he says with a mockery mopey face. "What? How-Did you find out?" "Well you do know Merle is a loud mouth."He chuckles as if he told me something new. "Yup, we know how she gets. I just don't want to mess this up. I mean what am i saying? I..." i started to think what i was going to say but realized i should keep some things secret. One  thing  im certain about is that Josh and Merle have one thing in common, they love to gossip.  Found that out the hard way at a Christmas party when i made out with an ex-coworker as half of the office was reliving a Christmas miracle in the other room. Long story short don't slap belly's in an office full of snakes. Poor girl never showed up to work again. "Look Lee i know you don't like to work with people but Merle is a good journalist and plus she is hot so knock this out of the park or her if you know what i mean!" Josh flashes me his signature wink as he walks away like a Don in the office. I swear he thinks he is some kind of hotshot around here. He certainly looks the part with his blonde and pretty boy face. Built tall like a model with a lean body and decently muscular torso i often wondered why he even works here when he could easy get a job that fits him. One thing he has is looks with no brains. kinda like a runner with no shoes.

As i place the coffee on Merle's desk she flicks her brunette hair as  she gives me a smile and slowly undresses my soul with her light brown eyes. "Ah, thank you, please sit." She grabs the hot mug with both hands and begins to gather her lips close to the mug cooling the coffee with her soft blows which then she pauses to take a light elegant sip only but burns her tongue slightly.. "Merle, i think we should be able to knock this one out of the park ayh?" with a light pause in thought she smiles and says. "This whole story could be a huge headline Lee so we'll have to work extra after work" Not sure what she is implying i quickly get some words out. "Whatever you need boss." as my voice cracks i recover with a cheesy smile. "Stoooop it."  she drags her words then recovers her pitch from what may had seem flirty.  "I am not your boss. We are partners. We will work together on this. Oh and we will definitely have to meet at my place Friday night to go over what we have found so far. So, get your investigations in before hand" "Your place?" Not knowing how to proceed with such request. "Yes, my place or would you prefer somewhere else?" I thought of my apartment as it got "Typical Bachelor" written all over it. I quickly tried to stutter some words only to get cut off. "We could go somewhere else if you're allergic to my two cats, Whiskers and Bob. Don't worry they wont bite." Completely frozen like a deer in headlights i managed to get a word in "Uhh, yea cats are fine..." I hadn't have a girl over my place since moving here. I didnt really know what to expect. I couldn't help but think how embarrassing it would have been if she seen my apartment. It has  boy written all over it with some iconic decor that only a kid would know about. The thought echoed in my head but quickly rejected. Besides my places isn't much of an attraction. Its only a one bedroom and its by the docks often loud ship horns wake me up in the morning. As i space out in my thoughts she quickly places her mug down. "In the mean time we should probably get back to work." As i get up to walk away she adds "Lee don't forget Friday ill text you my address!" "I wont."

  I walk away as if i was a teenage boy talking to my crush. I didn't really know how to handle the situation. Ive never been invited to a girls house before. As much as i wanted to ignore the natural feeling downstairs i couldn't help but to float back to my desk on a cloud of fantasy. Imagining some things that i am not proud of at this very moment. Her house though? I mean why Her house? Why couldn't we go to a coffee shop or maybe even a park. That's normal right? Two adults getting work done at a park in the evening? All i can hope for is that i don't make this awkward. I never really been good with the ladies. Definitely not like Josh. Perhaps i could ask Josh what to do but his loud mouth would have everybody in the office laughing. I cant let anyone know. As I drift back to my desk  I took a seat allowing my mind wonder into places i don't often get to visit in real life. I don't know why i imagined her and i, but the pure fantasy begun to operate on its own as my mind drifted in pleasure land.

[happys-crazy-queen22]

A Chick Mechanic

"We need to get Bobbys hunk of shit to a mechanic". Tig said. "I think we past one about two miles back". Jax pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. "I guess Bobby's riding bitch" Juice laughed. "I'm not leaving my baby on the side of the rode, she could get stolen". He said while petting his bike. All the guys rolled their eyes. "I'll go and bring them back". Jax got on his bike and rode off. Thirty mintues later the row back truck arrived with Jax behind. "Help me push it in place". The diver asked. "You can ride with me up front". They all got ready and pulled off. Pulling into Pimpin Motors, the guys looked around. It looked just like TM. "Um the mechanic will be will you shortly, so fill this out and give them to em". "We could be in prime pussy if you hadnt brought that heep of junk you call a bike". Tig said getting frustrated. "That beast has more life than some of the girls you sleep with Tiggy". Bobby laughed with the other. Waiting for the mechanic, a woman that came up to yall. "So whats the problem". "We are waiting for the mechanic". Mr. Mustache said. You laughed "I am the mechanic". "But your a chick". A big bald guy said "So , is that a problem"? "If so you can take your bike and go, the next station is about four hundred miles from here". "So take your pick". "No Darling its not, I'm Jax". "Nice to meet you". "I'm Y/N". "This guy right here is Happy, your fixing Bobbys bike and those morons are Juice and Tig". He intruduced all the guys. "Let me take a look and I see what I can do". You smiled and walked off. "Forget some other pussy, I want that". Tig said licking his lips. "She's probably  a lesbian ". Happy said. "Whats wrong with gay people". Juice said. "Nothing just when I see a girl I want them to hop on my dick and make me happy". Jax just shook his head, she was very pretty in his eyes. She had a ball cap on backwards , that kept her long blond hair out of her face. She wore a white wife beater and black coveralls hanging of her waist. Her face and arms had little oil spots. No make up on and she was looking good. "VP, Jax you okay" Juice asked. "Yeah". He couldnt keep his eyes of her. Then she noticed him starring. She started to walk over. "Quit, here she comes". Jax said. "Well, I have bad news". "Can you fix her". Bobby asked. "What does bad news stand for". "Shes not rideable anymore". "Right Doll". Tig winked at you. You brushed him off. " Well yes, your carburetor is out and your engine is shot". "Okay, thanks". Bobby said walking away. "I can take your bike to any mechanic if you dont want me working on it". "Hey Bobby, do you want her to fix it"? Jax yelled "If I can help her, no one works on my bike with out me". "You cool with that, he knows what hes doing". "Then why couldnt he see that before riding"? You laughed "I dont know". Jax laughed with you Bobby checked to make sure you done everything right. He was so determined to get his bike started. Finally he was satisfied with your work. As you wiped sweat from you forehead, Jax noticed your tattoo. Hes seen it only on one other person Lenny "The Pimp" Janowitz. "Hey". He called you over. "Nice ink". "Thanks". "Whats it mean"? He asked lighting a cigarette. "My grandfather is in prison and I got this to remember him by and he has something like this for me that he done his self". "Why" "I know your grandfather". "His name is Lenny Janowitz". "Yeah, oh shit". You're a son". "We all are". "I'm VP". "Lenny never said nothing about a granddaughter". "He wanted to keep me a secret, incase someone that was looking for him found me". "Yeah I understand that, we got some bad enemies out there". He said blowing out smoke. "You know, those are gonna kill you". Jax laughed. " I'll be fine". "Jax, we're ready". Tig ran over. Jax and you walked over to their bikes. "Hey guys, show some respect". "Shes royalty". "How". "Lenny "The Pimp". "Shes his granddaughter". "Holy shit". "I didnt know Lenny had a daughter much less a granddaughter". Bobby said shocked. "Oh and who ever said I was a lesbian, I'm not". "I like dick, big dicks, huge dicks". You said eyeing Happy. "She got you brother". Juice said. Happy huffed. "Thanks for the help to fix my baby". Bobby said. "No problem, anything to help a son". "Yeah thanks, maybe you could come by the club sometimes and have a drink"? Jax said as he put on his helmet. "Sounds good, here if you need anything on the way like his bike messes up again call me". You gave him a piece of paper. "Alright thanks Darlin". "Bye". You waved as you walked away. Jax looked at the paper, it had your work number and on the bottom it had your cell. That said call me. You looked over your shoulder and you saw Jax smile when he read it. This boy was driving you crazy the way he looked at you. Your grandfather was trying to keep you away from the MC, but some how a blonde charming biker pulled you in. "Sorry Grandfather". You said as you watched them leave.