#idk im probably not making sense at all lol

[mushroominaforest]

Mushroom rambles!!!!!!! (vaguely vent-ish? idk man its 1:30am)

I'm sorry for all my venting and complaining as of late, I know it's probably annoying to some, and worrying to others. for me, Tumblr is the space where I can just chill and be myself, but also the one place where i can throw all my messy feelings out into the world, without being scared.

I have this habit of bottling stuff up, but i don't have to do that here. I'm not allowed to go to therapy, i used to vent in the notes app on my phone, and in journals, but i stopped (way back in like, grade 7 or 8 lol) when i found out that they were being read, along with all my text messages. I love my irl friends, but theres some stuff i just cant tell them. I talk to them a lot, and i trust them, but I'm still gonna tell them that i got that black eye from running into a pole lmao.

But on this account, only one person I know irl actually is aware that i have a tumblr. It's safe. If I'm discovered, I'm dead. but i think its worth it. cause i love it here! I have friends, ppl like my art, I have a place where i can be my authentic, weird, emotional self and im not gonna get in trouble for it.

So yeah, im sorry that i vent a lot i just feel safe here, and as much as i hate to admit it, you guys were right. Bottling up your feelings does suck lol

Anywaysssss my mental breakdown has turned into a weird happyish feeling but I think i might be going crazy instead of being genuinely happy. But who cares, i feel fine!!!!!

[candyje11yfish]

wip💖

[beeqisch]

*hagarens ur timkon*

no text under cut

[puppyeared]

is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings

[knockknockitsnickels]

Thinking about how the Tower & the Adversary routes are connected through the Fury, and how you kind of get there by turning one into the other, and how horrified they are by what they become. Tower is about subjugation - she outright says she does not believe the two of you are on equal footing. You get the Fury from her when you assert your independence and fight back, forcing her to take you seriously as a threat and defend herself. Adversary is all about an equal fight - she prides herself on her strength, but also admires yours. You access the Fury through her by refusing to fight, watching her beat you to a pulp and become disgusted by what she does to you. IDK it is interesting how the Tower & Adversary parallel one another, and how you end up with the Fury in each route by doing what their sister route would have wanted you to do.

[emotional-fandom-soup]

Thinking about the relationship between Tuvok and Vorik, and how despite following the same set of principles, they still have wildly different personalities. And they both know this. They know they're not compatible in that way and that if not for voyager, neither of them would interact with the other at all. But they also know that they're the only two vulcans still left on this ship.

And I know Tuvok might be able to cope with that given his friendship with Janeway and how close he's gotten with Neelix and well... everyone.

But Vorik? (This is all just projection cuz sadly we don't get to know much about him BUT-) imagine that voyager was his first posting, and he's just out here with little to no experience on humans and without having been able to form proper bonds yet or to fully learn to regulate his emotions, and he's trying so very hard to integrate but he doesn't quite know how.

And how Tuvok sees him and thinks 'ah yes, a child in need of guidance' but then notices how incompatible they are and so whenever the two interact it's just this quiet understanding of biologically, culturally- we are the same, but Respectfully I Do Not Like You

[doubledyke]

does anyone else feel like.... extremely frazzled when they get home from the store or similar places??

[superfluouskeys]

forget me not

Stray Gods || Grace/Persephone

She can’t bear to face anyone since she dropped out of college.  She had to talk to her parents, obviously, but it’s been almost a year since they spoke.  She was expecting them to yell at her, tell her she was wasting her life, tell her she’d never get anywhere without a college degree, that she was almost done, so why couldn’t she just wait it out another couple of years and then at least she’d have finished something? But they didn’t yell.  They both just seemed…sad.  Tired.  And that was so much worse. It was like they had given up on her. Grace doesn’t know how to explain.  She still hasn’t quite managed to explain it even to herself.  Would anyone understand?  Freddie never demanded an explanation—she loved Grace no matter what—but Grace was sure she wouldn’t get it.  Freddie was passionate about so many things.  Freddie was the sort of person who would probably go on to get a Master’s and a Doctorate or maybe two or three, because she just couldn’t decide what she loved the most. And Grace? Grace barely even felt like a person in college.  She tried to do all kinds of things, join clubs, meet people, take classes she thought might be interesting.  She tried to distance herself from Freddie, even, and she was not gentle.  She tried to destroy herself over and over again, and make something entirely new.  She tried to forge herself into someone interesting, someone worthwhile. But in the end, the truth always came crashing back to her.  She can’t escape herself.  She can’t escape how utterly unremarkable she is.

Read More (AO3)

[angelmichelangelo]

if 2012 splinter had a premonition on how he was going to die, do you think there was a reason as to why he took raph and april with him up on that rooftop? because like. in the perspective of the show, it's always been leo that has those big emotional moments with splinter. you'd think the writers would have put leo up on that rooftop instead of raph but. yeah. i wonder if there was ever any reason for that

[her-canine-teeth]

october birds by flower face

[vault81]

Just thinking about it, but it's kinda weird how your dead spouse is kinda just glossed over when it comes to the fo4 romances, besides Preston (iirc)

like my partner just died like 4 days ago but let me just romance this guy I just met, as far as I know, Preston is the only companion to actually address this in his romance. Like its just a weird writing choice to me, not to mention that the spouse gets like 2.5 seconds of screentime and gets only a few mentions during the main quest.

[lorephobic]

cant stand other people talking about my blorbos. someone with the best intentions could be talking about my gay autist and i’ll get so irrationally mad when they blame something on him being gay when its actually the autisms fault

[itsmistyeyedbi]

This might be a silly question but...do anyone of your detective's believe in fate? Why or why not? Did their view of it change after meeting Unit Bravo and experiencing the events of the twc books?

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

[pankomako]

6 years ago today i joined the failboat discord server and effectively joined the community. contrary to what you may think i have no regrets

i think that's officially like. more than half the channel's existence. and about a third of my life. which is crazy to me. wish i could do more to celebrate but ig im just stuck here on tumblr for now

[orcelito]

Gonna also get my license soon. This time for real.

Need to find that sheet of the driving times... hmmm