#idk how but ill make it happen lol
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ignore the background, I still don't know how I want Chloe's room to look like
#my art#miraculous ladybug#miraculous disaster au#chris duval#chloe bourgeois#pollen#md concept#this is actually story inaccurate#chris would not look like this at the time they know their identities and are basically family#his hair would be lighter and eyes browner#probably a lot more bruises too#i want him to get a nose scar#idk how but ill make it happen lol#i still dont know what the side effects of the monkey are ooof
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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Been hving this theory for a few months now that this "Master Wu caused the Merge" thing is just Wu having been surprised by how soon it happened. It wasn't supposed to come this early, we've heard him say it in multiple flashbacks
Also, theory that kind of goes along with this is that Ras is responsible for it happening so early. He mentions in s2 to Jordana (possessed by Rox) that he used Dragon Icons (like that really pretty dagger/sword Lloyd got from Motion at the end of s2) to lure the Energy Source Dragon and then captured it. At the end of s1 when Lloyd goes to release said Source Dragon (with the Dragon Energy Cores!) it says that 'freeing it could cause the whole cosmos to destabilize. That destabilization could've resulted in the Merge, which then threw Wu for a loop because it wasn't supposed to happen yet but it did. Oh, also I think it's obvious that either Wu can do some astral projection stuff now or he's actually dead (I kinda figured it would be the latter after the second batch of s1 dropped in 2023 but remained silent.. He's probably dead tho)
#ninjago#lego ninjago#lego ninjago dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#dragons rising season 2#ninjago dragons rising s2#dragons rising s2#dragons rising spoilers#dragons rising season 2 spoilers#master wu#sensei wu#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#ninjago sensei wu#lord ras ninjago#ninjago lord ras#lord ras#spoiler tags just to be safe#ninjago spoilers#ninjago theory#useless ramble#actually. i do also have a bit of a theory that maybe arin wasnt supposed to be who were all thinking he is rn#like. idk id make a post about it but the very way he always talks about the ninja compared to sora is. slightly different#and their backgrounds are different too which makes the way they see them even more interesting to me#the tournament makes it so obvious to me.. but whatevrr ill see if i can describe it properly for a post tmrw or the day after#dont hold me to this btw lol#sorry does the wu one even make sense? i mean it in the sense of. god idek. like he was researching how to stop it bc he calculated how long#it would be for it to happen. but then it didnt come on the scheduled day but sooner. when he didnt finish his research
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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wyll (as a warrior cat)
#my art#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate fanart#wyll ravengard#DO U GUYS KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE WYLL. do u know how normal i am about him.#i wish he had as much content as the other characters in game. bc if you think about it he should have the *most* amount of content#he has direct ties to the gate so therefore hed be the most compelled to help save it#hes already a hero by the time u meet him. hes got the coolest character introduction and hes genuinely a good person#and by more content i dont want a single bit of it to be revolving around mizora. im so serious.#if that cant happen. if she HAS to be around. then let him make his own choices in act 3 and thats all ill say to avoid spoilers#what i wouldnt do for more wyll content </3#but yeah rant over i love wyll so much hes one of my most favorite characters Ever#OH YEAH REGARDING HIM AS A WARRIOR CAT LMFAO idk how his sending stone eye would work so ummmmm. pretend the cats know how to source#really smooth rocks for prosthetic eyes. i also didnt know what to do for his horns so i just. drew him Before the horns bc i genuinely don#know what to do LOL but yeah i love wyll a normal amount i think about him a normal amount#OH YEAH I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS i was so torn between having him be a burmese and a ticked tabby so i kiiiiinda went for something in the#middle but i opted more for ticked tabby
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whatever //blasts your old man with the butch beam//
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#yakuza series#jo sawashiro#genderbend#snap sketches#sorry.#i laid in bed for three seconds and i dont know what happened i saw a vision and thought to myself 'how can i make my mommy issues worse'#unrelated ramble time my dad. texted me and he did the whole 'you need to eat' bit#and then i told him i was goin to my moms this weekend for a hot minute and he was all 'oh ill send you miso soup :) quick an easy :)'#like thank you...... i. LOVE. water.#i actually do like miso soup but it just seems like a funny thing to me idk LOL#immediately after that he was like 'wait ill just give you money for groceries'#which i felt bad bout since i always feel bad gettin money from my dad. not my mom tho she's a witch#see this is. why we're here tonight this ramble is NOT totally unrelated LMAO#anyway. i have a genderbent ichi doodle too but i figured one (1) instance of me being ill is enough for tonight#so with that im gonna look at the wall more and think of women BYE
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Heyyy🌟
Are you planning to write a new bokris story (completely unrelated to holidate)?
hiiiiii technically yes, but its probably not gonna be the next thing <3
again, i dont really have a schedule for what comes next, im kinda going with what im feeling like writing the most atm
so the next thing is either gonna be another bokris, jankris (both related to holidate) or unrelated to holidate bojance but we'll see! i dont have concrete plans right now
#lesbian bokris is also around somewhere but its definitely not gonna be the next upload idk when ill get to that#right now for the most part im spending my evenings watching football and making bracelets haha#so no real writing is getting done at the moment#inbox#anonymous#oh also im not really planning on anything multichapter btw#first of all again my summer is busy as hell so i wouldnt manage to work out a schedule around that#plus the fact that holidate happened is a miracle in itself idk how that DID happen i didnt imagine being able to write more than 5k even#and also i just. dont really have anything in mind that would be multichapter? and im not actively trying to come up with anything just for#the sake of writing anything#everything i did write and want to write is bc its just popped in my head in a daydream and then wouldnt leave again lol
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i despise Uncomfortable Realisations so much. there better be chocolate in the house or smth ugh
#a biscuit's rambles#was at a party and uhhhhhh. well. it wasnt. very fun#i mean ive been stressed for ages and i didnt manage to get into the mood before anything even happened so that does make a difference ofc#but i also did retreat outside for some space n air n good music and uh.#yeah. i was gone for a full hour and no one ever noticed i even left. kinda. depressing#also so many of my friends are picking up so many unhealthy habits and its terrifying yay#its not my job nor my ability to save them i cant do more than offer some help but damn that does hurt#but like. cant wait to get out of here anyway. i need to meet people who actually have similarities with me#i cant connect to any of them including my best friends and its getting more and more obvious#well. to me. idk how much they even notice of me lol#But on the bright side that one alt place for teens Exists so ill go there soon and see if i meet anyone there#anyone who like. gets me a little. or at least listens to what i consider actually good music#god the music at that party was so incredibly awful#and i dont drink and my brain didnt manage to detach into a Silly State close to being slightly drunk so i got the full force of it lmao#anywayyyyy#my mum is working with me to possible get a diagnosis of what my brain weirdness even is so! yay for that!
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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throughout the series of drake and josh it pretty consistently implies that josh nichols is a christian (josh peck is jewish) and in the finale of the series helen (played by yvette nicole brown, not jewish[?]) is portrayed as a practicing jew
#i dont have a problem w either of those things necessarily i just find it interesting#if i had to guess. drake and josh was a mainstream that didnt wanna touch on religion generally#but josh was kind of a dork and usually when josh's religious beliefs are implied it is in dorkish ways#such as praying and thanking the lord after he has his first kiss.#but since dan schneider is jewish perhaps he wanted to make helen have a jewish wedding in the finale?#not that there needs to be a reason. but u do notice occasional jewish-related jokes in d&j but none of them are what you could call#offensive. in good faith that is. 'eric is a pacifist' 'i thought he was jewish?' like come on#text post#i have been rewatching drake and josh recently and i have had so many thoughts#im almost done. i just have left that stupid dance episode that they premiered last for the stupid reason#of a special dance-themed premiere night in fall 2007. they premiered the third episode of icarly and a new zoey 101 on the same night#which i think is so stupid. they should've aired really big shrimp last. it messed w my understanding of the series at the time lol#i remember not really knowing that the show was ENDING. like i knew icarly was starting & miranda was doing that#i thought really big shrimp was like just another special like go hollywood.#and then like two days later they premiered the helicopter episode for some reason#and i was like why is drake not famous in this. he just had a number 1 song in a superbowl commercial#and then a month later the dance one. which. if anything is satisfying about that as a final episode it's just that#that unnamed girl from the blues brothers episode who is obsessed w drake shows up again and congratulates them#and the very final line of the series is 'who is she?' because. because really who IS she?#that's a funny enough throwback to wrap things up with i suppose#drake and josh wasn't a highly serialized show so i can see how they could air those after the intended finale and act like it didn't matte#but i have to tell you it did fuck with my brain a bit at the time. lol. i still think of those episodes as having 'happened' after#and on paramount plus those episodes are still placed after really big shrimp. the injustice#but thats kinda messy. what a weird way to end such an influential and popular sitcom#season 4 had a few lowpoints while still also having some VERY solid episodes.#idk. ill have to continue my series review another time im getting way too longwinded here#helen dubois is jewish
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i madeeee sillay new characters and i love them
#my post#will post drawings tomorrow. tired.#BUT!! there are superheroes and this sillay. honestly very minor criminal. villain of the week type guy. but she never gets caught so she#just keeps coming back to cause problems. her name is bonnie and shes a shapeshifter and i love her. but anyways one day shes fighting thes#guys and falls off a bridge. now this is not actually an issue for her bcus she can simply Have Wings if she wants to. but she chooses to#use this to fake her death bcus shes tired of these guys and wants to try to take them down from the inside.#so she returns under the name lyra and becomes like a sidekick to them. only she is absolutely shocked to discover that the one hero- real#name oslo- has been MOURNING HER??? apparently they feel terrible for causing her 'death' and never truly hated her and are wracked with#guilt about it???? bonnie does not know how to feel about this it is incredibly weird actually.#the other hero is named merrick and she does not give a shit she thought bonnie was annoying as hell. unfortunately for her 'lyra' also#just so happens to enjoy annoying her to hell and back. yay.#also oslo n merrick have day jobs as office workers for a Large and Productive cheesecake corporation.#i couldnt think of what to make their company do so i made it very serious paperwork about cheesecakes#i think lyra would be like. idk. janitor. or delivery person.#OH DID I MENTION THEYRE ALL ANIMALS. i wanted to draw animals is the reason why#oh oh oh the NAMES the NAMES#so weve got bonnie goose the mongoose. bonnie bcus i wanted to base it on mongoose> mon goose> monnie goose> bonnie goose#lyra reeves the . dog of unspecified breed so far. maybe scottish terrier or schnauzer. i like their rectangular heads. shes a dog bcus i#thought itd be funny to take a Loyal animal and make her betray them lol. also lyra is a constellation of a lyre > rhymes with liar.#and reeves is from lyre > orpheus > reeve c.arney lol#merrick wolfe the maned wolf :3 i dont have anything deeper on this one its just m and then wolf. however her superhero name is red fox#which i think is funny. she has fire powers.#and oslo stone :] large bear. idk what kind ill probably be boring and just make em a brown bear. in my heart shes a black bear but brown#is easier to color. um um erm oslo bcus it is one letter off from oso which is bear in spanish. stone bcus i liked how it sounded also her#superhero name is boulder and she has superstrength lol#thats all of em so far :3 its so fun and sillay and i love themmmm#i love drawing merrick the most
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i have said before i have really bad hypochondria anyway i was doing better on my meds but recently i was really badly triggered bc my lymph nodes r swollen & one of them is like more swollen than the others & now i have white spots on my tonsils which indicates a throat infection not really a terminal illness but having a lump on my throat has been like my biggest hypochondria fear for 10 yrs or so so having a lump on my neck has really just like sent me & anyway i usually do not share my hypochondria fears bc ik they’re irrational but as i said this is like 100x more upsetting to me than usual bc it is my exact hypochondria fear so i had a breakdown & started crying to my mom so she made me get a doctor’s appt all this to say that i also have severe avoidance issues so before i could just pretend the bump wasn’t there & distract myself but now that i know i have a doctor’s appt it is much worse & i can’t stop thinking abt it 😔 thats my story. plagued in many ways.
#michelle speaks#like i don’t have any like congestion or a sore throat. even tho like i CLEARLY have an infection in my throat#bc my tonsils have so many white dots on them 😭 idk when that happened tho. i noticed my lymph nodes were swollen like 4 days ago or smth#but like normally my hypochondria is just me checking to make sure i don’t have symptoms like a lump & feeling better when i dont#so like having one there has put me in like a constant state of anxiety it has been so bad.#i never EVER go to the dr over my hypochondria fears bc 1. i know they’re just fears and 2. avoidance issues#but like this is the worst one ive had since early 2020 and this time i cant reassure myself bc the lump stays 😭#i was going to say i don’t think i have a terminal illness but i would be lying actually i think i’m going to die within the yr tbh.#my symptoms do lean more towards mono than terminal illness but 😔 u know how it is for me. at least i’ll always exist on tumblr 😩#yeah lol the hypochondria has decided i have terminal illness sorry everyone it’s over 😔✌️
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Got promoted at work today! I knew they had their eyes on me for a promotion but the circumstances were kind of unfortunate. My coworker with the position found out that the raise was less than she thought, and that's after they screwed up her payroll big-time last week and only paid her for 2 days. So she's transferring back to our old store as an associate bc it's closer to her house and honestly an easier store to work at. So my manager came up to me right after they talked and was like you're getting promoted btw I was like oh okay 👍. And to be fair the raise is kinda shit lol it's 30¢. But to my knowledge it's more or less the work I'm doing anyways. I've never gotten a promotion or a raise before so I'm pretty happy about that. I've only had shitty bosses promise me raises for months and never follow through. And I know they've been wanting to promote me already bc all the higher ups I've worked with really like me and recognize that I work hard. I had a coworker 2 days ago ask if I was a manager because she said I had that vibe about me LOL. I was like no I'm just some guy. Still not a manager but I am a shift lead. Still so worried I'm going to burn out but uhhhh I'm doing well at this point 👍
#ive been working here less than 2 months#i really wanna share more details about like what ive been doing but i dont want to like dox myself?#the details would be specific enough you could find the store if you knew what state i live in which i think ive pretty opening talked about#fuck retail and all that but i like the place i work#and most of me working harder than some of the other associates is definitely the autism ocd and hypervigilance lol#i simply must make sure everythings right or else ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#you know how it is#im still just processing that i actually got promoted bc thats never happened#idk maybe the new position will suck we will see lol but ill give it a shot i really dont think its that much more work
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was drunk AF last night and wanted nothing more in this world than a donut
sorry bout the inactivity. tears of the kingdom is out so
#smth art#furry#halftone#queer artist#donut#sorry guys i been doing other stuff#its ok ill be back to it soon ish#im making a website so thats part of what has been eating my time. bc idk how to code#im learning on the fly and soon hopefully smth smth comics will be hosted on a website of my own as well as here#i will hopefully be getting back to art in general soon#just been a bit burnt out and unmotivated#but hopefully ive got some other stuff happening and things will be more chill soon#these unpaid breaks got me stresst but hopefully those will have ended soon#and ill be able to just. do anything lol#anyway! would still love a donut.
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i think the stuff i post abt the dragon tamer in servers makes them look more fearless and tough than they really are
#THE REASON THEY ARE LIKE THAT: i fucked up and accidentally gave a scug the darkest backstory ive ever made. idk what happened#poor fucked up little cat. get them one of those sweaters they give to dogs with anxiety or something#they really are just... a cheetah with a therapy dog. except its a dog with a therapy cheetah and there are multiple cheetahs#also i felt inspired to do anthro designs for most of my slugcat ocs... i wanna digitalize them first but ill share em sometime#also with people throwing around human vers of their iterators... i might do that too actually but i need my designs to be set in stone#i want to draw burning curiosity SO BAD but i have NO time 💔 midterms and also big school workload. its a pain#oc: call from the constellations#oc: the dragon tamer#slugcat oc#iterator oc#my art#also started workshopping my designs for the mother but. tbh i might not use straight up noodlefly colors like i planned#cus i dont like how its turning out honestly! then again im not colorpicking LOL#i might steal a design from a certain background slug i drew in the dragon tamers backstory doodles... cus theyre cute i cant not use it#no idea how im gonna factor her needle into her design but oh well! maybe ill make it a stinger or something
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