#idk I feel crazy for this but only bc I’m crazy

[sickgraymeat]

I understand 100% why this matters both personally and in terms of industry but I still can’t relate when people talk nostalgically about how shows used to be once a week. I’ve basically never watched a show that way. I didn’t have cable or any local channels or anything growing up so everything I watched pre-netflix was a dvd from the library (for example I’d check out like 5 BTVS DVDs at once and sometimes had to wait a couple days for the next ones which was agony yes waiting to see smth that came out like 10 years prior lol). The few times I’ve tried to watch ongoing shows I’ve almost always lost interest which I think is partly just distance but partly bc I don’t like thinking about it when I don’t Know. I’ve never watched a show that I couldn’t spoil for myself and the idea of not having that option is actually terrifying to me lmaooo do you guys really just watch something without at least skimming the IMDb parents’ guide???? What if a scene comes up that seems scary and you can’t look up what happens??? Man real life has enough unknowns and plot twists 😭

[rystiel]

idk what we’re all calling the concept of fiddlestan working together but i’m calling my version the portal partners AU 🙏🏼

[beware-of-you-98]

“people only like agathario as a ship because of the actresses”

NO actually because do you know how fucking insane the concept of having a character whose soul purpose for even existing is to Lead people to the Afterlife, like that’s literally it. There’s no rules** or feelings or certain way to do things. She literally just IS.

And then suddenly this Character meets This other character who has been rejected by the only people she’s ever known, called a monster and nearly executed by said people. She thinks she’s a fucking monster but Death gets her because that’s the one THING that makes her so alike with this witch:

They aren’t Monsters. They can’t control what they do. They aren’t cruel.

They just are.

Now imagine this character, who has never once in her life has felt Anything because it’s not who she is. She’s not supposed to FEEL things.

But this other character, she makes Death feel for the first time ever: anger, jealousy, longing, anguish, sadness, turmoil and, above all love. And this love LITERALLY humanizes her.

Death isn’t supposed to have a Heart that beats.

And yet, out of this love, comes life.

Death isn’t supposed to be a Mother.

And when Death is doing her job, her Love begs her not to do it. To not do her job.

And, perhaps maybe for the first time ever, Death has a rule she can break.

She can’t NOT take the dead.

She doesn’t take Nicky from Agatha for six years. Nicky was never, ever meant to even exist. But because death broke her own rules, he lived for far longer than he should have.

And then she Had to take him.

And suddenly, for the first time EVER, Death is affected by the loss.

The loss pushes the person to give her Life, humanity and more to hate her. And then she feels guilt, and sorrow, and further down the line, anger and frustration because she can’t Find her.

And when she finally does, she’s at Peace. She’s enjoying herself because her person is here and she’s talking to her and suddenly Death feels whole again.

She’s not supposed to feel.

And, still, when her love dies, Death feels it like she never has before. She cries. She mourns.

She’s not supposed to do anything but be Death, and yet because of Agatha Harkness, Death had become so much more.

And THAT is insane to me.

The fact that agatha and rio are played by two incredibly talented and Stunning actresses is literally just the cherry on the cake.

[valewritessss]

Growing up as an only child people would always like talking to me and say I’m nice and generous then when they found out that I’m an only child they’d tell me “oh so you’re spoiled and don’t know how to share?”. And it was always so frustrating because why would I be spoiled? Yes both of my parents attention was only on me but they raised me right? And I’ve met people that are spoiled and not brats, like spoiled brat and spoiled are two different things.

And I love sharing and always have bc I never had anyone to share with so I like letting other people use my stuff. One of my friends that I did so many things for all of middle school (I gave her homework answers, pencils, erasers, bandaids, some of my lunch, gum, etc) told me that I don’t know how to share because I’m an only child. We’re not friends anymore because at one point she started rushing me to do my work so she could copy and she would not let me concentrate and she wouldn’t copy my shit while I was doing it and then she’d get mad at me because she was failing. But anyway, I was a little mad because you KNOW me, but you’re just gonna say that because why, exactly? It was like people were always telling me what I should be like and telling me that I don’t understand any childhood experiences.

And then I get told I must not know how to compromise just because I’m an only child? Like what? I will do anything to please you so what the hell are you talking about.

And people go on rants saying that parents need to start having more than two children because they hate only children. I’ve seen this so many times and it makes me a little sad because my parents tried, okay? Generalizing is not cool. They’ll hate only children just because they had a bad experience with someone that happened to be an only child. And then I’ll make friends with someone and when they find out I’m an only child they’ll tell me they never would’ve guessed because they hate only children. Thanks, I guess?

“You must not have a very good family bond” uhh why? My cousins are the closest thing I ever had as siblings growing up and I genuinely don’t understand when they would say this because it doesn’t mean I can’t bond with people my age.

“You probably get everything you want” i was told this just because I bought a new notebook when my old one ran out of pages. Again, what is the thought process here because it’s not like I can ask for anything and get it just because I’m the only kid my parents have.

I would say I’m lonely and want a sister and people would get straight up mad at me. “No you don’t you’re lucky” and you think there aren’t things I want that you have too? I literally feel so alone 24/7 but I guess I’m not allowed to feel that because at least I get privacy.

They also always assume I’m rich. I am very much not rich and I did have friends that lived in bigger houses and it made me so insecure about mine. Idk what it is about assuming only children are rich. I wish being an only child came with that bc then I’d never complain again. But unfortunately it doesn’t work like that.

Anyways. This was a random rant. I just remembered that I would get so frustrated because I would literally cry from the fact that I didn’t have a best friend or someone like a sibling to talk to, and then I’d be told my feelings weren’t valid. I know this is such a non issue, but just sharing I guess.

[marimbles]

i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[clambuoyance]

I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me

[judasisgayriot]

I rly like making gifs and I have ideas but I can’t help but feeling slightly demoralised abt my fav creative fandom activity when half of the fob fans on tumblr who might enjoy looking at them have me blocked and it keeps happening live crylaugh love

[yourlocalmissingtexture]

They should invent a machine that you walk into and it tells you What’s Wrong with you and also it’s free

[chirpsythismorning]

The way they framed surfer boy pizza with Mike in s4 makes me optimistic about the prospects of smalltown boy agenda actually

[steviescrystals]

i am experiencing emotions rn and idk what they are :)

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

[jaeyunverse]

only 6 more days for 12th grade to officially finish and my exams to be over. perhaps jaeyunverse comeback with a long fic ????? 😳

[legendoftherisingtide]

is it some weird asian politeness instilled in me that i don’t like calling characters by their first name? like for western characters its fine but like when calling someone by their first name or a nickname is important, i cant bring myself to do it.

like girl you aren’t even real why am i so caught up on the fact that i dont know you personally so i shouldn’t be calling you a name you haven’t allowed me to call you.

[yoojinluv]