#it’s not even about the fact that she could’ve potentially gotten chosen over me it’s just weird that she didn’t tell me she was applying

[steviescrystals]

i am experiencing emotions rn and idk what they are :)

[mittensmorgul]

So for the most part, I outright reject the finale. But I do think, in light of the whole "Jimmy was supposed to be in the bar, and Dean was disappointed by that because his perfect heaven would have Cas in it" just makes me all the more convinced that the final episode was some kind of djinn dream. Like.... There's no other explanation in my opinion. If Dean's perfect heaven was supposed to have Cas, and he tragically gets faked out by Jimmy (????? Why tf would jimmy be there anyway), it just proves that it's not ACTUALLY heaven. That, along with he El Sol beer he's drinking is all the evidence I need. I think after 15x19, Dean and Sam got whammied by some monster, and are stuck in a hallucination, and that's what we're seeing. (My headcanon is that it's actually The Empty doing it, because it knows if it doesn't keep Dean and Sam occupied and spinning in circles, they'll invade the Empty to save Cas. So its trying to prevent that) :)

Hello, anon friendo! I am gonna start by offering the socially distanced version of a high five, because yeah... There is just so much to unpack here, and you provided such a succinct and all-encompassing series of statements to start from. Thank you!

*flings open array of questionable suitcases*

First off, Congrats on having rejected the finale. I know a lot of folks are still struggling with that one, for many reasons. But you have hit upon so many of the points I’ve been trying to make about the finale since it aired. I’d just like to start with some of the assumptions I’ve heard from folks about the finale that make it impossible for me to consider it fully honestly canon. Because so much about it just makes no goshdang sense... like... not at all...

One of the biggest issues I have surrounding the reception of the finale in parts of fandom is that it portrayed a “happy ending.” The show itself spent the entire final season telling us that a gravestone marked Winchester was not and never would be a happy ending (thank you Becky Rosen-- words I never thought I’d say, but honestly and most sincerely meant). Let’s break this down a bit.

Starting from the assumption that “heaven was fixed” so that characters could have true free will there, making it satisfying in any way that Dean died so young and never got to truly experience happiness during life, I would like anyone who has adopted this attitude to then explain Kansas the band. I mean... explain that in any satisfactory canon-compliant way. (hint: you can’t. it makes zero sense in canon, if heaven is truly reformed and “happy” with everyone in possession of free will.)

Which brings me to Misha’s comments about Jimmy being in the Roadhouse. Why, if heaven were truly fixed, would Jimmy ever in a bazillion years attend a party for Dean Winchester? If Heaven were truly a “happy” ending for Dean, why introduce this element of eternal tragedy and heartbreak to his heaven experience? Why taunt him with the eternal loss of Cas-- even if you don’t think he reciprocated Cas’s romantic feelings, he was canonically the best friend Dean ever had, and being forced to exist forever in a place where he had everyone else he ever cared for except for Cas? Is frankly horrific.

How the actual fuck is that a happy ending, in any sense of the word?

How is this the sort of heaven that Dean would’ve made for himself before it was “fixed?” At least in the memorex heaven, he could’ve lived in oblivious peace with Cas, even if it was always just his own memories and not ~actually Cas~. I honestly think that would’ve been happier than the abject tragedy of what we did get, and what we would’ve gotten had the original script played out.

All of this kind of makes me wonder if they ever even actually defeated Chuck. Like... it feels more like Dean got pulled into the Empty at that moment with Cas and Billie, and everything else after that point was the Empty’s endless experience of sorrow and despair we knew it subject its charges to. So that’s one potential for what could’ve actually happened. I mean, everything about the finale was sorrow and despair, you know? Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his pie at a pie festival because Sam smashed in in his face. How is any of it happy, in any way?

Because if that was actually heaven, there wasn’t actually any free will (because why tf would Kansas the band have chosen to put on that concert? why tf would Jimmy have been there, just to torment Dean with the taunt of Cas returning to him only to have that hope snatched away again? It’s cruel. It’s, in fact, a source of intense despair).

The djinn theory could also work, and I’ve read some excellent fix-it fic using that as a premise. But that doesn’t really explain what happened to Jack (and Amara, since she was in there with them) after hoovering up Chuck’s power, you know? I think the simplest explanations in canon are that Chuck actually won via the unified power of Light and Dark being transferred into Jack and effectively using him as a vessel. With Sam and Dean convinced they’d won, they effectively stopped resisting Chuck’s story for them, and using Jack’s understanding of humanity and the Winchesters specifically, Chuck finally was able to implement a version of his story that the Winchesters would just waltz into without thinking it was supernaturally influenced at all. Going bigger and bigger with monsters and cosmic troubles hadn’t worked, but going so small Sam and Dean would barely even notice the influence-- even with the incongruous reappearance of a vampire that appeared in their lives once, for like two whole minutes 15 years ago, and an unsolved case from the journal from more than 30 years ago that John had never even linked to vampires at all.

At this point, I need to mention that I’m watching 10.23 as I type this up. An episode in which we confront the Mark, along with Death, and Dean’s despair, where he learns a version of the truth (but by no means the full truth, or even accurate truth in some respects) about Chuck’s Story, Amara/The Darkness, etc. That would unfold more fully over the next five seasons. And what was the case Dean took in this episode? Vampires. LOLOL omg this show is nothing if not horrifically consistent, yes?

So because of this, I went haring off through my own blog looking for a post I made a long time ago about the symbolism of how various monsters are used on this show (because again, consistency). I got sidetracked by other posts in my monsters tag, including this from after 15.09 aired, which feels particularly awfully relevant. This was my reaction to Chuck’s Story he showed Sam in that episode, about what the future would look like should he successfully trap Chuck with a Mark, and which... yeah is basically exactly thematically consistent with what we saw in the finale, right down to a cheesy twist on vampires. Read the whole post right here, but this is the part that reached up and punched me in the face:

this is how Dean personally reacts when he loses Cas. We know how he reacts when he loses anyone else– think about what he did when Charlie died. He went on a murder rampage against the Stynes for killing her. When Mary died he broke some furniture and went full bore toward both resurrecting her and stopping Jack. But without Cas, Dean loses the will to fight. Sam has… always been different. He referenced Jess in 15.04 to remind us of how he was after she died in the pilot episode. Just like John, he picked up the revenge mission and ran with it. But for Dean, Cas is different. Without Cas… Dean gives up.

Because... Dean gave up. Sure, he and Sam weren’t overrun by vampires in the end. Chuck knew they’d never stop fighting the monsters, one way or another. The only way to get Dean to give up is something Chuck hadn’t quite figured out yet... maybe not until after 15.17, after confronting Cas in the hallway of the bunker, after absorbing Amara’s power, knowledge, and perspective on Dean.

Chuck needed Dean to give up, and honestly? Pushing Billie to clear him off the table and send him (and Cas, that pesky angel who never did what he was told) to the Empty would’ve been a direct way to deal with that... pretty much akin to having one sibling locked in a cage forever, yes?

Also, still looking through my monsters tag, I’m reminded of 14.15, and still cannot differentiate the version of Heaven in 15.20 from what was done to the people of that town. This... is not... paradise. This is actively what Dean has been insisting is the OPPOSITE of paradise since like… 4.22… No ending where Dean was a “Stepford bitch in paradise” ever had the possibility of being “happy,” at the core of things, and this “fixed” version of Heaven just doesn’t hold up to any degree of inspection. Something is seriously wrong here. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183465650390/so-can-we-talk-about-this-monster-of-the-week-for

And since I was unable to find the post I wrote who knows how long ago about Monsters and how they’re symbolically used on Supernatural to represent larger themes in the episode, I’ll just attempt to sum up what Vampires have been used for. Revenge. Vampires are always, in some way connected to themes of revenge.

(and hooray, I found at least a post adjacent to the one I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find... https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187207052080/i-obviously-did-not-think-this-through, where I mention that shapeshifters are about revealing hidden truths (mostly about Dean since most shapeshifters are connected to Dean), zombies are about grief and the inability to move past it.)

So why... why at the end of their road is the monster that comes after them-- literally FOR REVENGE for something that had never been blamed on Sam or Dean to begin with, from season 1, directly connected to John’s revenge mission and the first time they learned about the Colt AND the first time they learned in canon that Vampires were even real... like... this feels very specifically like some kind of layers-of-meta levels of shade on them, you know? Vampires are for revenge, so what vengeance exactly is being visited upon Sam and Dean in this episode? If not Chuck’s entire story for them itself?

So yeah, 100% agree, something is incredibly rotten in the finale. And I am sick to effing death of people trying to convince us that anything about this was “good” or “happy” or “satisfying” in any way. Or even “how it was always supposed to end” with Dean dead bloody, as if the entire back half of the series hadn’t been suggesting that a true win was the subversion of all of Chuck’s story for them, and Dean finally being able to have his chosen family all alive, happy, and chilling on a beach somewhere watching the sunset. Nothing will ever convince me that the ending portrayed in 15.20 wasn’t exactly how Chuck thought he “won,” rendering it entirely irrelevant to the rest of canon, unless all of canon was ultimately the tragedy we’d been encouraged to believe would be firmly defeated in the end.

Folks, you can’t have it both ways. 

[elizabeethan]

Steal Away: 2 / 5

When a bank robbery with his brother goes horribly wrong, Killian Jones learns to heal with the help of a fiery blonde who happened to get caught in the crosshairs.

A Modern AU

Based loosely on the movie Hell Or High Water (and so I tag @captainswanmoviemarathon)

Read on Ao3

Read The Rest

Read my Other Stuff

A/N: So this was supposed to be a one shot, but it’s, like, 24k words so I thought it would be best to split it up. I’m probably going to post one part a night for the next week or so, though.

This part is rated T as well, mostly for language and car sickness :) (I’ll let you know when we get to M hehehe)

thank you as usual to @the-darkdragonfly​, @donteattheappleshook​ and @xhookswenchx for letting me ramble about this for weeks, and to Kay for beta-ing <3

~~~~ 

It happens quickly. 

 Her sense of humor, her taste in music, the adorable way she snorts when he hits a pothole while she’s sleeping… it’s impossible for him to avoid the feelings that stir in him. It’s almost embarrassing, the speed at which he begins to recognize his feelings, but it’s not as if he plans on sharing them at any point. 

 The fact is… he likes her. She’s cute, and funny, and undeniably sexy, and he knows that if she wasn’t here, he probably wouldn’t be either. He would’ve been arrested right off the bat, or shot in the bank himself, or drowning in a bottle of rum beside his brother’s grave. If it wasn’t for Emma Swan and her insistence to stay in his life, he wouldn’t be on his way to Maine to pick up the only remaining person in his life who means something.  

 Although, perhaps that isn’t true, because after a day on the road, he’s discovered that she’s starting to mean something, too. 

 He doesn’t know enough about her to dignify a crush, but he also isn’t stupid. He knows that he’s infatuated with her. He knows that he’s finding it hard to keep his gaze off of her. He knows that her stunning green eyes play off of the gold of her skin and her hair in such a way that makes his heart race. He knows that, based solely on what she’s told him so far, he’s desperate to know more. 

 She doesn't have a family. She spent much of her childhood homeless and running away from abusive foster placements. She was abandoned as an infant, left in the woods at only a few hours old. She’s been through hell and back, and she still manages a blinding smile.

 Her ex boyfriend is the reason she’s here with him, he thinks. She says that he screwed her over and that she wants nothing more than to get away from him and from the place that reminds her of him, and Killian thinks this all happened at a rather convenient time for her. She told him yesterday, when he was panicking over his brother’s demise, that she could tell that he was there in that bank for a good reason, and he’s taken to assuming that she has a good reason to assume that. 

 They hardly know each other, and yet he feels as though he’s known her his whole life. He knows so little about her, and yet, he can read her like she’s an open book. The term kindred spirits feels naive, and yet, that’s exactly what they are. 

 “Are we gonna stop in Chicago?” she asks excitedly as she watches the Welcome to Illinois sign pass them by. 

 “Definitely not,” he laughs. “It’s far too north for where we’re headed.” 

 “What, and Maine isn’t?” she snorts, shaking her head and pointing out a bird that flies by. “What’s up there, anyway?” 

Immediately, his heart starts racing and his palms start sweating at the thought of telling her the true reason for their trip. It dawns on him that, when they arrive, he would have to tell her anyway, lest he abandon her in town before he arrives at the lawyer’s office. 

 Of course, Emma has experienced her fair share of abandonment at this point in her life, and while he hardly knows her and shouldn’t care, he wouldn’t dare contribute to the trauma that comes with the feeling of being left behind and forgotten. 

 Bloody hell. 

 “You don’t have to tell me,” she says after a long moment of silence. 

 He clears his throat, drawing his focus back to the highway before him. “It’s alright, love. I just… it’s a sore subject, I suppose.” 

 “We share a lot of those,” she jokes, smirking at him and making his heart race. More gently, she reasons, “which means you should know by now that I won’t judge you.” 

 “Aye,” he agrees immediately, because he does know that. “Aye, you’re right. It’s, um… my child.” 

 He catches her balking, her jaw dropping and then snapping shut in quick succession before he needs to focus back on the road. “You have a kid?” 

 With a nod, his grip on the steering wheel tightens. This vehicle is better than the last, the clutch not sticking like the one in the truck had, but it’s so small and cramped that he doubts they’ll be able to sleep comfortably in these seats tonight. He’d best pull over soon so that they can find a place to sleep. “I do,” he confirms. “A daughter. She’s eight.” 

 “How old are you?” she asks in shock. 

 He narrows his eyes, shifting his gaze to her briefly and suspiciously asking, “how old are you?”

 “I asked you first,” she says seriously, as if she truly doesn't want to disclose her age, and he begins to panic. She looks old enough, but the potential that he’s just kidnapped a minor on top of everything else begins to assault his thoughts. 

 “Please just tell me I didn’t kidnap you,” he begs, his heart racing. 

 “No,” she rolls her eyes. “I’m 23, and much more mature than you.” 

 With a sound that’s somewhere between a snort and a sigh of relief, he nods. “Aye, love. I’m sure you are.”

 She sits in silence, staring at him expectantly, and he knows that it drives her mad when he smirks and begins to laugh. “Don’t be stupid! Just tell me how old you are!” 

 “I’m… I’m 31.”

 “Oh,” she says, chuckling beside him. “So you’re not that much of a cradle robber. Just a regular old bank robber.” 

 “Oy!” he shouts in offense, staring at her in shock. “Sensitive subject. And what makes you think I’m trying to rob your... cradle?”

 She snorts and shakes her head. “Please. I saw the way you were staring at my ass at that last rest stop.” 

 She could’ve chosen a more opportune time to say that, perhaps when he wasn’t taking a sip of coffee. It’s rather uncomfortable coming up his nose. “Love,” he says through a cough. “I’m not— that is, I meant not to—”

 “It’s fine, Killian,” she tells him, giggling softly and playfully. “A girl likes to feel flattered, especially a girl who feels like a—”

 Her jaw snaps shut and her eyes grow wide, the emerald catching the rays of the sun and throwing glints of gold. “Like a what, darling?”

 “Like… um, like I could eat everything on the menu at McDonalds. Is it time to stop yet?”

 “No,” he laughs, although he finds that he struggles to say no to her and mean it, even after such little time, and he indicates his intent to change lanes and moves towards an exit. “We only stopped for breakfast a few hours ago.”

 “Well, I’m starving,” she tells him, shooting him a soft smile. “And if I don’t stretch my legs in a minute, they’re gonna fall off.” 

 “You need to stretch your legs? Your feet are currently on top of my dashboard. Is that not enough of a stretch?”

 “Your dashboard? I’m pretty sure I witnessed you stealing this car.”

 “From a scrapyard,” he mumbles, giving her a shy smile as he exits the highway. “What do you want for lunch? Or should I say brunch? It’s barely eleven.”

 “We crossed time zones, you ass.”

 “What do you want?” he laughs. 

 She hums playfully, pretending to ponder his question seriously and says, “a prime rib, cooked medium rare, with a side of garlic mashed potatoes. Caramelized onion and mushroom sauce on the steak. And some green beans, for balance.” 

 Shaking his head and laughing along with her, he says, “chicken nuggets and fries it is, darling.”

 ~~~~

 “You need to pull over,” she says suddenly, breaking almost an hour of silence between them during which he was certain she was asleep. After their early lunch, he decided to keep driving, anticipating that she would take over in a few hours. 

 “Emma,” he sighs, “we only just stopped two hours ago.”

 “I’m not asking,” she demands. “I’m telling you that if you don’t pull over,” she puts her hand over her mouth, her retching and gagging preventing her from saying anything more. 

 “Jesus,” he mumbles as he pulls into the breakdown lane, barely stopped and still in gear when she thrusts the door open and loses her lunch all over the ground. He can’t ask her if she’s alright because she hasn’t stopped vomiting, so he checks his side mirror and opens his door, walking around the front of the car to meet her. He stands behind the door and places his hand in her hair, massaging her scalp as she shudders violently. “I didn’t realize you were prone to car sickness.” 

 She groans, shaking her head and resting it against the window at her side. “I think your driving has gotten worse.”

 He hums, continuing his ministrations on her scalp as she catches her breath. “Was it the chicken, love? I knew that stuff was crap.”

 “No, it’s your crap driving.”

 “Do you want to take over, then?”

 “No, I want to sleep.”

 “Come on out and get some fresh air, would you?” She whimpers as he pulls the door open a bit more, and he takes her hand to help her out and around her sick. “It’s alright, love, come here.”

 She breathes deeply as she stands, and only remains in front of him for a moment before she falls forward against his chest and into his arms. “Sorry,” she whispers into his sweatshirts wrapping her arms around his waist and holding herself close to him. “For delaying the trip.”

 “You needn’t worry about that, love,” he soothes, and he focuses on moving his hands along her back and hair in the same way she had his. “A few moments while you find your bearings won’t hurt. Are you alright?”

 She nods against him, a sound coming from her throat that makes him squeeze her tighter. He can’t stop himself from pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, the need to comfort her interrupting any reasonable thoughts in his head. She whispers, “yeah,” so softly that he kisses her again. 

 “During lunch I found a small campground that takes cash. It’s only another few hours; can you make it that far? We can use the tent and the camping mat instead of sleeping in the car.”

 “Luxurious,” she jokes softly, maintaining her firm embrace around his middle. “That sounds perfect.”

 ~~~~

 She’s relentless in her jokes at his expense as he struggles with the tent. It’s dusk, and there’s a decent canopy of trees above him, and, as she points out often, he’s getting old. He struggles to see the small pieces and determine what goes where, and she’s hardly any help as she sits in the car laughing at him as she claims to be recovering from another spell of car sickness. 

 “You could try helping me, you know,” he finally mumbles as the structure collapses again and he’s met with her symphonic laughter. 

 “Need a newer pair of eyes, Captain?” she asks in good humor, standing and bounding towards him confidently. It’s almost miraculous how quickly she’s recovered, and yet her nausea seems to keep coming back. 

 “Very funny, love. Come and tell me where E connects to G.”

 It’s impossible to ignore the way the full moon shines against her hair, almost white in the dim light of the night sky. The gentle waves flow freely as she releases the tie from around her locks, rubbing her palms over her face as she settles into the warm cocoon of the sleeping bag. She gives him a soft, gentle smile as he zips the tent’s opening securely shut, taking his place upon the ground between her and the door. “Where’s yours?” she asks, gesturing down at her sleeping bag and camping mat.

 He shrugs and then nods towards her. “Someone stole it.” 

 Her eyes widen in surprised embarrassment and she asks, “this is yours? What about-- weren’t you and… I mean…” 

 Smiling as he lies down on his back, he turns his head to face her and says, “I was meant to travel alone, actually.”

 Just as he thinks she’s about to match his position and lie back herself, she stirs and begins tugging on the sleeping bag until she’s out of it. She shakes it out in front of herself to straighten it and then feels around in the dark for the zipper, pulling it around the puffy fabric until it’s fully open before her. Turning towards him, she gives him another soft smile and dramatically opens it like a parachute, draping it over the both of them. “There you go,” she says with finality. “We can share.” 

 “You don’t have to do that, love. It’s summer anyway.” 

 “We’re sleeping outside, and you're taking a second, unexpected person on your trip across the country, who also happens to frequently demand pit stops. The least I can do is share your sleeping bag with you.” 

 “Well… thank you, lass. That’s very kind of you.” 

 “I just can’t part with the mat, sorry. The ground is way too hard.”

 He laughs as he turns to his side, silently agreeing with her that the ground is mighty firm as he grimaces. “You can’t spare it for an old man with old bones?” 

 She shrugs, laughing softly as well as she rolls to her side to face him head on. “You're not that old.” 

 “So I'm only young when it suits you?” 

 “I didn’t say you were young.”

 He hasn’t laughed this much in years. Before he met her, he hadn’t been so close to a woman in almost a decade. He’s forgotten how soothing the gentle touch of another can be, and he’s been hard pressed to ignore how especially soothing she is, in particular. “You do have quite the sense of humor, love.” 

 “All in good fun,” she smiles. He catches her gaze shooting down at the hem of the old sleeping bag, her fingers fiddling with some thread that has pulled away from its place. “Will you tell me something?” she asks in a whisper. 

 “What is it?” 

 She clears her throat nervously, continuing to avert her eyes from his, and asks, “will you tell me about your daughter?” 

 With a hum and a sad smile, he bites his bottom lip and nods, the memories of his love flooding back into his mind, as if he’s ever been able to prevent them. “Alice,” he says. “She’s just turned eight a few months ago. I missed her birthday.” 

 “Why? What happened?” 

 He notes the way that her fingers continue to play at the loose threads, and he matches her actions just beside her. “I was with my mother; she was dying and had no one else while Liam was in jail. I wanted to bring Alice with me, but… her mother wouldn’t allow it.” 

 “I’m sorry,” she says immediately. He hears a rustle against the mat her head lies on and lifts his own gaze to meet hers. 

 “Thank you.” 

 “When did you see her last, then?” 

 He gulps over the lump in his throat. “It’s been well over a year.”

 She sighs, and he doesn’t think he imagines the minute amount of space that she closes between them. “You must miss her terribly.”

 “Aye, I do. Everyday.”

 “Is there… I mean, is there a reason it’s been so long? I’m not trying to judge you, I’m sorry, I just—“

 “It’s alright, love,” he interrupts, noting the sudden shift in her demeanor as she realizes the nature of her question. “Her mother was rather… controlling, I suppose. I believe she used drugs and alcohol for much of Alice’s early life. I don’t have any reason to believe she used during her pregnancy, but I cared for Alice from birth when Eloise fell off the wagon. I even named her, after my ailing mother. But a few years later, she got clean and started to take over. She took Alice to live with her; became upset when I came around. And eventually, the way she would scream at me when I tried to visit made Alice upset, so I stopped coming around as much.” 

 She’s quiet for a moment, and he wonders if he’s taken things a bit too far. If he’s opened up to her too much. He fears this for what feels like an eternity as she lies beside him, her warm breath washing over his nose as he thinks the worst. That he’s upset her, that he’s offended her, that he’s made her think of the trauma of being abandoned herself as he describes the way he abandoned his own daughter. And his fears are confirmed when she sniffles softly before him and moves her fingers from the frayed threads to her eyes, wiping tears away. 

 “Emma,” he whispers into the darkness, “I’m sor--”

 “That’s so terrible,” she interrupts sadly, and he bows his head in shame, knowing already that his actions are deplorable. Until she whispers, “I’m so sorry.” 

 “Sorry… for what?” he asks in shock, speaking almost at full volume, a contrast to their whispering tones. 

 “You just--” she sniffs once more, “--it’s obvious how badly you want to be in your daughter’s life, and you haven’t been able to. That’s got to be the worst feeling… I can’t even imagine not being allowed to…”

 Clearing his throat, he takes a risk by reaching before himself to wipe a tear from her soft cheek with his thumb, almost desperate to comfort her as she has him the entire time he’s known her. “It’s alright, love,” he whispers. “I’m going to get her back, with your help. I wouldn’t be here, on my way to her, if it weren’t for you.” 

 She sniffles and laughs at the same time, adorably embarrassed at the sound that escapes her, and asks, “what’s changed now? With you and her mom?” 

 “She died,” he answers simply. If she had begun to relax slightly into his hand, she stiffens at his words. “She relapsed, mixed drugs and alcohol… her body couldn’t handle it.” 

 “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “That must’ve been hard, too.” 

 “Not much,” he answers too quickly. She draws her brows together in question and he continues, “I’m sad for Alice; she’s lost her mother. But she never really had her much. Eloise was never a very devout mother. It always seemed like she was in it for the image, or only when it suited her. I don’t think she ever really wanted a child.” 

 Emma nods gently, the small gap between them getting smaller when a gust of wind shakes the tent and she slides closer to him. “Was she, I mean, was Alice a surprise?” 

 “Oh, aye, very much so,” he laughs softly. “El and I weren’t ever a couple, we just met at a bar and… well, we were only together once. It was sort of a low point for me.” 

 “I get that,” she nods again. “Sleeping with the wrong person, I mean. Not that… I mean, not that Alice was a mistake or anything, of course.” 

 “I know what you mean,” he consoles in a whisper as she again worries that she’s offended him. She should know that she couldn’t possibly say the wrong thing, because despite how short of a time he’s known her, he knows that she can do no wrong in his eyes. 

 “Will you tell me about her? Like… What was it like when she was a baby? Was it very hard?” 

 He hums and nods, agreeing, “it was hard, yes; I was mostly alone. But it was so worth it.” 

 “It was?” she asks softly, almost insecurely and making him narrow his eyes in thought. 

 She hasn’t told him anything, but he isn’t a fool. He means every word of what he says to her next, and says it in hopes that he can give her solace. “Aye. As hard as life has been, I wouldn't change anything because it’s how I got Alice.” 

 In a move that surprises him almost as much as it doesn’t, she moves as close to him as she can and tucks her head into his chest, just below his chin, and wraps her arm around his waist. “That’s a good point,” she murmurs into his sweatshirt.

 “Are you alright, love?” he asks, accepting her into his embrace and letting his hand run along the length of her spine over her own sweatshirt. He reminds himself that he doesn’t truly know her, so he can’t assume that this isn’t like her, but it feels profound. 

 She nods against his chest, pulling herself impossibly closer as she seems to seek more warmth and a firmer embrace. “It’s weird,” she starts, her voice muffled. “I barely know you, but it feels like you're my friend.” 

 “I am your friend,” he agrees with a smile. “And you’re mine. I told you I wouldn’t be here without you.” 

 “I wouldn’t either.” 

 “Of course not. I’ve been driving most of the way.” 

 She snorts, nuzzling her nose into the crook between his neck and his shoulder and squeezing around his waist. “Yeah, that’s why I’ve been puking nonstop.” 

 “Would you like to drive tomorrow, then?” he laughs. 

 “Sure.” 

 “Alright. We’ll need to leave quite early. Just another two days to go, I think.”

 “Okay,” she yawns, falling asleep in his arms feeling, he hopes, as safe as he does.

~~~~

Tagging:

@courtorderedcake​​​ @kmomof4​​​ @stahlop​​​ @klynn-stormz​​​ @laschatzi @emelizabeth88​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​ @kday426​​​ @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story​​​ @captain-emmajones​​​ @gingerpolyglot​​​ @ebcaver​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​ @teamhook @superchocovian​​​ @itsfabianadocarmo​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​ @gingerchangeling​​​ @jrob64​​​ @onceratheart18​​​ @xhookswenchx​​ @winterbaby89​​​ @swampmedusa​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​ @dancingnancyy​​​ @love-with-you-i-have-everything​​​ @shireness-says @snowbellewells​​​​ @hollyethecurious​​ @ouatpost @daxx04​​​ @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook​​​​ @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay​​​​ @xsajx​​ @itsfridaysomewhere​​​​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​​​​ @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight​​ @qualitycoffeethings​​ @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor

[greengoblinn]

Dude, Carnage Gwen introductory scene, before we even knew she was Gwen (or she did for that matter, given there would have been that post-resurrection amnesia storyline that’s common enough), we would have been her literally massacre the Sinister Six like that Darth Vader scene from Rogue One, the ending of Episode One of Invincible, or the hospital scene from Spider-Man 2. It sounded AWESOME. Obviously later the reason would have been revealed to get at Harry, but just imagine the possibilities — it could have, would have genuinely been brilliant. Now this idea was created before Spider-Gwen was even a thing, but if this happened now, I guarantee she would have become Spider-Gwen by the end of the film before she, Peter and Harry took on the also brought-back Giant Goblin King Norman. Even in comics for the last few years now, Spider-Gwen’s suit has been a symbiote she has complete control of due to her musical skills, and so she really only uses it as simply just a suit.

i had to take a double take because you just sent me this blog’s very first ask?? and it’s about carnage gwen??? i am elated that someone else cares about her and the fact we were robbed of this film like i do.

i only ever knew that the concept of carnage gwen existed, so hearing this opening scene is all new to me, and WOW. the idea of revenge completely taking over gwen, who we knew as clever and stubborn but ultimately kind, would have been so jarring once her identity was revealed. i feel like if the tasm universe (the tasmcu, if you will) continued it would’ve gotten so dark and twisted. killing off the main character’s soulmate was insanely dark for what was otherwise a pretty lighthearted franchise - the raimi movies got dark and obviously included a lot of deaths but there was always some sense of hope in the end. imagine if they killed mary-jane! there was hope at the end of tasm 2, but the heartbreak of losing gwen still hung heavy on the conclusion. if they had chosen to include the scene in the clock tower where peter nearly kills harry after he killed gwen i feel like it would have set up a sinister six/carnage gwen/tasm 3 set of films perfectly. harry has an even stronger reason for forming his villain group and gwen, taken over by the symbiote, attempts to finish what peter started. and if gwen is resurrected, i absolutely see potential for norman to come back to life as goblin senior. i also love the idea of carnage gwen becoming spider-gwen, it just makes so much sense. i imagine some confrontation between her and peter taking place where the evil symbiote is defeated, they both begin to heal, and of course she’s left with powers.

i rambled on so much with this, but i genuinely appreciate you allowing me to spill my thoughts! i am haunted by the loss of more tasm universe films and am always down to discuss what could’ve been. andrew, emma, and dane are all so talented in these emotional roles, it breaks my heart to know we’ll probably never see them together again as these characters. at least we can dream together on the internet!

[tonystarktogo]

(this could’ve been) a villain’s origin story 

part IV

For @shitistanstank who wanted to see Bucky’s reaction and @everything-is-applepie who asked for more [Warning: Bucky is an unrepenant killer and his mindset is dark(er) than Tony’s parts were]:

James hates mentals. Doesn’t matter if they can read your thoughts, break out illusions that have you question everything you believe, make you forget everything you are, everything you used to be or if their powers are even more insidious -- every single one of them is a manipulative fucker with a god-complex. 

Usually, James doesn’t generalise like that -- it leads to assumptions and assumptions lead to stupid mistakes that get you dead -- but in this case he’ll make an exception. It’s widely known that, as fussy as the Winter Soldier can be about his jobs, he always takes contracts involving mentals. Doesn’t matter how old they are, what gender, how powerful, what specific abilities.

Mentals are weapons in a way that physicals aren’t, can’t ever hope to be -- and it doesn’t matter what their intentions are, what fucking alignment they hold -- like alignment isn’t just a skewed personality test gone wrong -- or what laws they follow.

[Every supe uses their power. You can’t not. You can’t be less than you are, even if some like to pretend otherwise. Like to play at being human, idealising what they’ve lost and will never achieve again.

Even when you don’t want to, even when you train yourself mercilessly, grit your teeth against it-- a supe’s first instinct is to use their abilities to the fullest. To survive. To live. To make life more comfortable.

There’s better men than James out there who like to offer long lists of requirements, of all the people they refuse to kill. As though not killing children, women, supes, humans, whatever the fuck their line in the sand is, somehow absolves them from the fact that they kill others for money, power or pride. As though having rules -- morals, as they like to sneer pretentiously -- makes them better, when all they do is choose and find one life more worthy than another.

James doesn’t have a list. He takes a contract or he doesn’t, depending on whether he trusts the contractor to pay up and not stab him in the back while he’s at it.

Have you ever seen a five-year old in a temper-tantrum that can bend the minds of those around them to their will? Have you ever considered what a toddler with the ability to erase memories is, what they become? Do you really think it was morals that kept anyone under fourteen from being chosen?

Rules, after all, are rarely implemented before they’ve proven to be necessary.]

The problem with having a reputation for killing mentals is that mentals don’t take kindly to being killed. And it’s hard to be prepared for a threat you don’t know exists until it reveals itself and tries to twist your mind into hushquietobeybenothing.

Granted, that doesn’t stop most of the stupid ones who track him down from monologuing about their righteous revenge before they get on with it. So convinced that just because James didn’t see them coming means he won’t kill them anyway.

Arrogant fuckers, all of them.

He’ll make them regret that before he’s done.

At least the last set of attackers wasn’t stupid. Makes it more of a pain, but ultimately a more satisfying fight. And fuck, if he hadn’t been blind-sided by the witch, James would’ve gotten away clean. But Scarlet Witch [And what kind of bullshit name is that when everyone knows her powers are anything but magical?] has been a persistent pain in his ass for a while now.

She’s smart and powerful and embodies everything James despises in a mental. The only reason they haven’t gone to war so far is because Scarlet Witch couldn’t care less about mentals as a whole. The only thing she values is her brother -- and the guy is a physical. A physical James wouldn’t try to land a hit on unless he was 100 percent sure he could take out the witch as well.

And Quicksilvers is a hard man to hit.

They don’t have an understanding of any sort because James doesn’t do understandings with mentals. But The Captain does, which puts Scarlet Witch and James into an awkward position as far as battles go. That’s the only reason James assumes their last showdown was an accident -- and, also, presumably the only reason he wakes up at all.

James doesn’t wake up slowly. Hasn’t since they shoved the pills down his throat for the first time, back before they realized that injections were that much more effective.

[The doctors never did figure out why James activated at all from such a low dosis, why he survived at all when the pills turned out to be useless with the sole exception of him. Granted, James killed them roughly forty hours after the first test, which might have played a hand in that.]

He comes to from one moment to the next -- finally, finally free of the black nothingness the witch trapped him in [nothing like what she can do, or so the rumors go, but that doesn’t make him itch to see her brain splattered over a sidewalk any less] -- and is immediately aware of his body, his surroundings, himself.

He’s in an unfamiliar place. He’s half-naked. He’s in a negligible amount of pain. He’s unrestrained. He’s not alone.

James is up and moving before the observation fully sinks in. It doesn’t have to. He already has all the data. [Has pinpointed the steady breathing and puttering motions of one person, placed him to his left, four steps, notices his odd surroundings even as he moves. There’s a wrench in easy reach that James aimes before he even sees the person -- man, young, brown hair, a head smaller than him -- and throws before he’s finished taking stock of his surroundings.

It’s more reflex than cold-blooded murder, really, not there’s much of a difference between the two where it concerns James.

The man ducks, proving that he’s not quite as idiotic as James initially assumed for keeping him unrestrained in his direct vicinity. That or he has good instincts.

He’s not a mental though, James can tell. He can always tell. His killing intent goes down a solid 60 percent with that realisation, though that still leaves him with plenty to work with should his potential client [James has lived through weirder recruitment strategies, though not all those potential bosses have] and potential victim prove troublesome.

It’s not that James wants to kill every human he meets. It’s just that he prefers to plan for the eventuality of needing to kill them and how to accomplish it efficiently, rather than be caught off-guard when the inevitable happens.

[There’s something that never made it into any of the papers and articles about supes and it’s this: A supe’s life is insane. There’s no logic, no rationality, no clear reason why you can’t go to a public swimming pool without accidentally ending up in a lagoon filled with starving piranhas. The Captain once theorized that supes offend the natural order or balance and this is nature’s way of striking back, of wiping them out. That or their unnaturalness attracts similar insanity.

James thinks that’s bullshit, not that it matters. He still has to live with the painfully ridiculous situations he tends to get himself into, after all.]

As such it really is nothing personal that as soon as James finally gets a clear view on the man -- kid, really, can’t be a day over twenty -- who’s found him, he immediately plans the guy’s death. It’s not like he acts on it right then, James isn’t a total barbarian.

He even gives the kid time to regain his footing and stare at him in shocked surprise, mouth half-way open and holding a bag of marshmallows as though those will somehow soften the next blow.

James is not gonna lie, he totally expects the boy to pull a sonar death ray, explosives or something similar out of some hidden stash and start some tirade about James having killed his parents and how he’s been planning this moment for a long time, or something along those lines.

Not to offer him marshmallows.

James gives the innocuous bag the deeply suspicious look that offer deserves. 

[On an unrelated note, his respect for the boy rises a smidge. James doesn’t know many people with the foresight to keep something ans inconspicious as poisonous marshmallows within easy reach.]

“No.”

“Oh.” The boy looks disappointed.

A scientist eager to see his newest creation in action? James doesn’t frown, but it’s a near thing. He’s not fond of scientists. [They tend to end up dead in his vicinity, but most people do.]

“Can I offer you something to drink?”

James raises his eyebrows, but fairly obvious attempt to drug and or kill him aside, he’s never before wasted a chance to be a little shit and he’s not planning on starting to now. 

“You can.”

The kid blinks. Snorts. “Oh, I like you.”

James smirks. He can’t recall the last time anyone told him they felt that way, but he doesn’t recall very many things beyond how to hunt and make them bleed.

“You’re the exception of the rule then.”

The boy laughs and if James wasn’t what he was, he wouldn’t have heard the bitterness echoing it. If James looks closely, he can even see the fractures in that pretty, wide smile.

“Believe me, Goggle Eye, I’m the exception of every rule.”

[It’s a good hour later, after the kid -- call me Tony -- has recounted where he found James and needled him endlessly -- “Come on, there’s got to be something you need! If not food or clothes, what about information? The adresses of your attackers? Schemantics of the newest SI rifle? Clean papers? Give me something!” -- that it occurs to James. A stray thought that nonetheless leaves an impression: It’s a good thing he’s human.

Because there’s something broken underneath Tony’s easy words and open gestures, something sharp and jagged -- still bleeding -- that was crushed and never healed quite right. Because when it comes down to it, you can forget the pills and the injections and the endless treatments and experiments designed to push for moremoremore. Because all the miracles of modern technology can’t build a monster out of spite and thin air. The drugs only reveal the potential that’s always been there.

And there’s no doubt what Tony would have been, should he have found himself among the test subjects.

His mind is a weapon worth killing for already.]

James leaves Tony’s lair two hours later, armed Quicksilver’s current adress -- one can never have enough leverage --, detailed information on four potential targets and the knowledge that Tony is the kind of competent that is as useful as it is dangerous and has an agenda James doesn’t yet understand. 

He’s not yet sure what to do about the latter.

[debbiewilder]

On Portraits - Ruth and Debbie

When Ruth moves to the GLOWtel in 1x04, she takes a portrait of Katharine Hepburn with her and hangs it above her bed. When Debbie sells almost everything in her house in 2x04, she still holds onto an incredibly large portrait of herself (she sells other picture frames so she could’ve sold that one too, but she chooses not to). Other photos in these environments are much smaller (or nonexistent) in comparison.

Clearly, these items are important for them.

Like most things in GLOW, it’s never overtly stated what these items mean, but I think you can come up with some answers if you look at Ruth and Debbie’s (unhealthy) relationships to themselves, their bodies, control/power, reality, fiction, and their careers.

Ruth

I’ve written before about Ruth’s relationship to ��real.” The meaning of that word is incredibly complex for her, but I’ll just reiterate here with this portrait in mind. Throughout the pilot, the word “real” is used around seven times. Ruth clings to “real” in fiction but runs from it when it comes to reality. Ruth wants “real” parts, calls herself a “real” actress, but when Mark calls her “real” as they have sex, she shushes him. In addition, the word “real” is associated with her and Debbie. In their first scene together, lyrics play: “You make me feel mighty real.” During their fight in 1x01, Arthie asks if this fight is “real;” Melrose says “Who the fuck cares?” While Ruth doesn’t want real without the safety and control of fiction, together Debbie and Ruth find a “real” that neither wants but it becomes something they both need and are better because of. Ruth might not have gotten GLOW without Debbie’s “real.” Debbie might’ve been stuck in a loveless marriage without Ruth. Ruth certainly would not have gotten in Birdie’s good graces and helped save GLOW in 1x09 without her real need to communicate to Debbie. Their real drama makes GLOW come to life and Sam starts to see GLOW’s potential in 1x01 because of who Ruth and Debbie really are.

Ruth’s relationship to power is also very complex. Ruth escapes into fiction to find the power she never cultivates in her relationships. But, because of that, she self-destructs in every relationship and every acting opportunity. Ruth is not a submissive person. Ruth came from Nebraska to pursue acting. Ruth reads the man’s role because it’s better. Ruth confronts a casting director in the bathroom. Ruth goes to GLOW after being cut. Ruth is super empowered and clearly goes after what she wants when it comes to acting. But these moves are also super self destructive. Ruth’s not going to get a part she wasn’t called in for. Ruth shouldn’t confront a casting director in the bathroom…that’s…super creepy. She screws up her audition for GLOW by turning it into something it’s not. Like, it’s not Shakespeare. Just do the move you were asked to do and don’t turn it into a scene about stolen bread. When she’s given the opportunity to act in a real role (which is what she says she wants) in season 3, because she’s intimidated by Sheila’s talent and doesn’t feel empowered in this specific escapism, she just doesn't show up and self-destructs. In season 3, she also doesn’t go to acting class when others do and avoids real opportunities even though she still has the same goals she did in season 1. She does, however, show up to Justine’s audition without self destructing, reads the role she was called in for and gives a good audition but is still not chosen. Maybe with that one she doesn’t self destruct because she goes into the audition less insecure because she thinks she’ll actually get the role (and that’s why it’s so heartbreaking when they don’t ask her to read the scene another way, when she doesn’t get it).

Also, there are a few meanings to the word “act” which tie into this as well. Ruth hangs all of her agency and power on playing other roles. She wants to be active/act through fiction. When it comes to being in her own skin around other people, she is incredibly passive. She wants her role to be “acting” in ways because she doesn't act enough when she is just herself.

Even though Ruth is clearly not a submissive person, in her relationships, she’s almost completely submissive. She basically always defers to what other people want and need. She almost never expresses any of the power she demands so readily when it comes to fiction. This is part of why Ruth relies so much on fiction. And, this is largely why all of her relationships fail.

She destroys her relationship with Debbie. Instead of communicating about how their power imbalance made Ruth feel, she has sex with Debbie’s husband. Sure, she ends up being grateful for any crumb Debbie gives her after that and doesn’t screw them up after even though she’s forced to be even more submissive than she was before. But, I think that’s because she knows she owes Debbie for eternity. And, despite everything, she does want to make things right. Also, in a weird way, it must make her feel a tiny bit powerful to see how deeply Debbie cares about her. That despite everything, she still chooses Ruth to wrestle with in 1x06 and can’t help but stare at Ruth all the way down the drive in 1x03 and says, her voice breaking, that she wishes they could still have a conversation in 1x09.

She destroys her relationship with Sam. Sam’s words are pretty manipulative in 3x02. (Roughly: I think you want me -> You’re in MY hot tub (I know you want me) -> “I’m telling you what we have.” Your thoughts and no is a “lie” and a ridiculous “belief” that has no basis in reality.) I don’t know how intentional this is, but when she goes to him in 3x09, I don’t think she really knows what she wants, she’s completely floundering by that point. Also, she still hasn’t broken up with Russell so they can’t be real, it’s another way to keep Sam at bay and ruin them before they even begin. So, she destroys them over a small part. Sure, she feels like a failure. I could be wrong, but it just doesn’t seem like they just fall apart over the role.

She tries to break up with Russell on the phone in 3x08, he says not to, and she just listens! And then, the very next episode, she cheats on him. Ruth just…can’t communicate in a healthy way.

Even with Sheila in 1x04, she lets herself be pushed around and sleeps on a pool lounger.

She just goes along with what anyone wants for her, and she thinks fiction is enough to offset how submissive she is with others. It’s clearly not.

So, yeah, escapism is big for Ruth. In fact, Ruth, on her own, rarely looks at herself in the mirror. Even when she’s in front of a mirror, she often doesn’t seem to see herself. In 1x01, when she’s with the casting director, she turns to face the casting director instead of her own reflection. When she’s with Debbie in the locker room in 1x01, she doesn’t seem to see herself. There are times when she does look, like 1x08 when she realizes she’s pregnant, and later when she cuts her own hair or as she looks at herself in character in 1x01, but she doesn't really seem to investigate who she is in any way while she faces herself basically at all until 3x08 (there’s one exception I could find, after she gets ketchup splattered on her in 1x02). So, anyway, that moment in front of the mirror is huge in 3x08 because she’s actually facing who she is and her own failings. She doesn't know how to fix any of that yet but she’s actually unable to turn away from the truth/reality more by the end of season 3.

It’s like she plays a character with those in her life since she expresses so little of her own wants or needs in her close relationships. She allows pieces of herself to come through, just like she does when playing a role. Maybe she thinks that if everyone validates pieces of her and if she expresses other pieces of herself in fiction, then that’s enough. Like she can Frankenstein all of that validation together into something that’s enough. It’s clearly not since she destructs in both fiction and in relationships.

However, this coping mechanism of escapism isn’t just constant down sides. She clearly developed it for a reason. Because of how she romanticizes the world around her and is unable to take things as they are, she fights for a place on GLOW and gets it. Because of creeping on the casting director in the bathroom, she learns about GLOW. Because of her inane levels of bravery due to her inability to take things as they are, she shoots the title sequence in 2x01 (which, okay, she kinda almost gets fired for but still). She finds real control and power in GLOW even without a title like producer or director. She takes charge of the GLOW pilot in 1x10. When Sam tells everyone that GLOW is done for in 1x09, she comes up with the idea to fundraise. She continually takes charge. This flaw is also a strength for her. She demands more because she doesn’t live in the world around her, she lives in the air of possibilities. (“We’ll let the stars guide us.”) In fact, because Ruth is incredibly brave, she leads Debbie to demand for more and push for more for herself too. I’ve written about that but I’ll just quickly point to a couple of examples: Debbie only becomes better at wrestling because Sam wants to show Ruth off to Patio Town in 1x05. She probably would’ve only asked for more money in 2x01 but because Ruth is the director of a title sequence she demands to be a producer etc etc. Ruth pushes Debbie to be better. Ruth of course doesn’t see this due to insecurity. Ruth believes Debbie’s life moves forward because she has an inherent shininess that makes her life move faster than Ruth’s. She can’t see the reality of their relationship or see Debbie clearly.

So, this portrait distills Ruth’s whole relationship to herself, others, power and fiction into a single image. Ruth turns to fiction for anything “real” because as herself, reality is filled with submissiveness and not feeling like she’s enough let alone in control. She hangs a large portrait of a famous actor on her wall wherever she goes during early seasons of GLOW because being around an image of that person makes her feel powerful. Because that person is powerful, that person was chosen. Her own image doesn’t make her feel any of that. She constantly strives to forget and escape from who she is. Also, this choice of actor is telling. It’s someone who is a force who changed the acting industry, and also someone who isn’t just a feminine ideal. Katharine Hepburn and her characters are known for being fiercely independent and incredibly powerful who push boundaries and challenges gender roles. Of course Ruth would aspire to that. Ruth constantly tries to push boundaries in acting just like her role model but often fails because she just tries to turn any situation into what she wants rather than making the most out of what’s in front of her.

Debbie

While Ruth clings to a large portrait of someone else to escape from who she is, Debbie clings to a portrait of herself. But, it’s not really the Debbie we know. The version of herself that she clings to is very posed. Debbie may cringe and make weird faces every other second, but in this portrait, she looks domineering and stoic.

The placement of this portrait, right behind the front door, means that wherever you go in this house where a family of three lives (at least in 1x01), you will see this portrait of Debbie, large, alone, looking down on you.

I think this says a lot about Debbie. While Debbie was willing to give up acting and give up so much for Mark and her son, she still demanded to be seen constantly and seen in a very specific way.

Debbie’s relationship to her own image is explored throughout the series as she struggles to overcome the belief that how she’s seen is her only value. And, since that perceived value is about to expire, it makes sense she clings to an image of herself—it reminds her of what she believes is her only worth. Since she holds on to a part of herself that she feels will soon fade, this also makes her feel incredibly powerless. This is probably part of why she tries to control her body in unhealthy ways such as having an eating disorder.

While Ruth is introduced to us in close up in 1x01, reading the man’s role (the role she wasn’t given, but one she demands), Debbie is presented in a wide shot, in a sea of bodies doing the exact same boring aerobics moves as everyone else. Debbie’s reflection is presented to us before Debbie and when we see her she looks half alive, zoned out. Debbie is presented as someone who calls herself “a bovine mutant.” This is how she sees her body and self in 1x01—replaceable (just another body doing the same moves) and something that exists basically only for men including her son (“Don’t you want to be happy and have a family?”). These first images say a lot about these character’s relationships to themselves and power.

Debbie is used to submitting to those around her, and, unlike Ruth, is not used to going after anything that she wants. In fact, I don’t think Debbie allows herself to want real things that would fulfill her at all until GLOW.  

Debbie, unlike Ruth, is from LA, has lived in LA her whole life (until Vegas). Debbie never fought for acting. Debbie was probably told she was hot and should try her hand at acting because it’s around in LA. She just clearly has a very different relationship to acting than Ruth does. She is willing to do anything to get power rather than latches onto a specific role like Ruth. In fact, she likely viewed acting as another way to cling to her own image, an image that she feels is going to expire very soon. And, once it expires, she believes she will be worthless, so she better get it on film now. I really don't think she ever used acting to escape into someone else’s image. Debbie also talks about wrestling in terms of her relationship to her own body, not really about playing a role, it’s about her feeling like a superhero, it’s Debbie saying she’s Clark Kent in 2x01 because it’s her body that’s being empowered. And, in the past, acting wasn’t empowered Cat on a Hot Tin Roof monologues like it is for Ruth, Debbie saw it as wheelchairs and comas, and being written out as men decide her fate. The word “coma” sums up a lot about Debbie’s relationship to the world around her in 1x01—her life is about being still and dead to the world as others choose to define her actions and her worth. Just like in that aerobics class, just as Mark chooses what her life should be, acting is about letting men decide if her body can move this episode or not. In addition, her relationship to the industry is clearly just as based in powerlessness and bowing to whatever men want as we learn in 2x05.

She doesn’t escape into fiction or turn possibilities into what she wants them to be. Debbie’s husband tells her to quit acting, she listens. She tells Ruth to give up on her dreams and just have a family like her in 1x01 because that is the definition of “happy.” She believes that is the most she or Ruth can get out of life—a husband. A husband who tells her to give up on acting, on everything. A person she doesn’t notice when she doesn’t touch him in over 40 days.

Debbie is unhealthy in her relationship to “real” in the opposite direction. Her whole philosophy can probably be summed up in 2x05: “That is the way it is.” But, to be clear, Debbie’s “realism” isn’t actual realism. She completely self limits and has a totally unhealthy relationship with reality in the opposite way that Ruth does. No, happiness isn't just having a husband or listening to what others want for her and how other see her. In fact, it never was for her. She was “miserable” with Mark as we’re told twice. As the series progresses, she consistently grows to become more like Ruth—she chooses work, she takes something meant for a man (a network for Debbie, a role in Ruth’s case) and takes it for herself, etc.

In fact, in 1x01, it seems like her only outlet for trying to correct the complete lack of power in her life (besides her disordered eating) is making Ruth feel small, and trying to have Ruth validate choices that make her miserable. She even wants Ruth to live the life she has, to have a family too, in order to validate them as well. She continues to ignore Ruth’s struggles and makes Ruth feel like a disaster in order to feel okay about her own choices. But, Debbie clearly doesn’t even view them as choices (even though they are) so much as “the way it is.” Debbie relinquishing control over Ruth throughout the later part of season 2 and 3 is such a huge shift because Debbie needed control over Ruth in order to survive for maybe a decade. It’s an incredibly vulnerable thing for her to give Ruth control and let her be happy with Russell in 2x10. Also, Ruth is the only person who understands her and validates her beyond her beauty and a surface understanding. I think that has always been very scary for Debbie, and she also deeply needs this so she clings and pushes Ruth away at the same time. She also must find the freedom that Ruth has in her own body, in herself, the way that she doesn't submit and internalize what men want (which is wholly how Debbie defines herself), such a threat. Even Ruth’s idealism is a threat to Debbie who self limits so much in her life at the start of the series. So, she tries to control Ruth throughout the series—her relationships, her career, etc. She hurts her just to feel a little less powerless in the world. And, Ruth lets her. (Except when she fucks Mark because it gets to be too much.)

In terms of Debbie’s relationship to her own image, Debbie wears nice clothes and jewelry (versus Ruth who typically wears frumpy clothes and escapes into fiction to be seen). She has many shots where she’s looking at herself in front of the mirror. For instance, as her relationship to wrestling changes, so does her relationship to her reflection. In 1x05, she struggles to find the meaning of wrestling in the mirror and then, by the end of the episode, she sees power in her own reflection. Ruth avoids her reflection, Debbie is often swallowed up by it.

Debbie is, like Ruth, used to submitting in her life and in her relationships and not expressing who she really is or what she really wants. When Debbie finds out that Ruth fucked her husband, she says, “I don’t know--I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I think that she’s always been told what to do, has internalized this way of life, that just like Ruth, she doesn’t really know how to act/be active in reality. She slowly finds her way to discover those things, to discover her body is worth more than just that flat one dimensional image of herself on the wall. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?” (1x01) -> “I have no idea what I’m going to do?…You want me to wrestle?” 1x02 -> “I understand how to do that.” (1x05) -> “I want to fly.” (1x07) -> “I feel like a goddamn superhero.” (1x09) -> “Imagine I’m Clark Kent.” “Oh, no, I am a producer.” (2x01) -> “I fucking stole it…I am going to build us an eden.” (3x10) etc

This is at least part of why she hates men. She resents who she is around them, how much power she lets them have over her. With Mark, she gave up acting, gave up everything. He called Paradise Cove silly, wrestling silly. And, for a long time she gave in. She probably would’ve given in for the rest of her life if Ruth didn’t fuck Mark. Even in 1x10, after what Mark did, she gives in and gives up wrestling even though she monologues about how much it meant to her in 1x09. Even her relationship to Randy—she calls herself a “bovine mutant” and we see her eaten up by him in front of that portrait of herself. With Tex, in her relationship in season 3 after she’s grown so much, she clearly presents herself in a way that’s against who she really is, so that he thinks she shouldn’t be anywhere near his “ruthless” side when Debbie Eagan is the most ruthless bitch around. She controls how men see her, maybe because she thinks if they see all of her, they’ll realize she’s not enough (which is similar to how Ruth is in every relationship). She believes how men see her totally defines her and tirelessly tries to control how they see her. But, at the same time she of course resents this power they have over her (which is power that she gives as well).

Of course, Debbie does grow a lot and goes from housewife to star to producer to network president. She starts to see her own worth and slowly learns to demand more and submit less. But that is because Debbie demands power for herself and takes it by any means that are in front of her, that is living bigger (3x08) to Debbie, not any specific role like acting.

So...Portraits...

After looking at these characters a little closer, maybe new meaning can come when looking at shots where Ruth and Debbie stand by these portraits. Well—

Ruth throws away the dead animal that Sheila leaves for her and abandons her room when Sheila tells her to in 1x04 while standing in front of this portrait she escapes into for power. She sits on her bed realizing she needs to have an abortion, feeling totally powerless, as Katharine Hepburn looms behind her. She feels totally powerless calling her parents and asking for money while Katharine sits, breaking gender roles in a suit, being all badass and empowered behind her.

Randy chews on Debbie in 1x02, and her ideal self is right behind, a constant reminder she’ll never be enough. When she sells everything except for basically that portrait, she sits alone with only that ideal self there as company, haunting her. And, in 2x08, she covers it up with an American flag but it still hangs behind her as she parodies her own pain from 2x04 in the same exact spot.

It’ll be interesting to see, if we do see their homes in season 4, if these items are abandoned or are brought back as these two characters continue to heal and grow.

[futuresmashmemes]

You're called Future Smash memes-- can you see into the future of my universe? We just had 6 more character slots announced for our game, meaning there are 6 we dont know who they'll be! Do you have any insight? Or at least a prediction o'wise one?

Hmm. You know, I’ve been told that your timeline is the “main” one, and therefore is very tricky to predict and deal with. It may not be much, but I guess I’ll give my two cents on who I think the final six DLC slots for this timeline will be.

First of all, it’s important to remember that these choices were made by Nintendo, not Sakurai. I think that’s the reason why we got Sans and Cuphead miis in this timeline rather than full on fighters: for one reason or another, Nintendo didn’t want them (or at least, didn’t want them as much as the chosen fighters). Sakurai has said that he’s an avid fan of Undertale and Cuphead, so this makes sense. Then again, he’s also an avid Persona fan and I still don’t get why Nintendo would’ve chosen it of all franchises. Don’t get me wrong, Persona looks great and all (never played it myself), but it’s not very…Nintendo, y’know?

With that in mind, I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be getting an indie rep. Nintendo currently doesn’t seem to be very open to the idea of full on indie reps, so that means that characters like Hat Kid probably won’t get in (maybe as a mii costume, though aHiT isn’t as well known for its music as undertale and cuphead are, so I don’t think it would be a deluxe costume). Really, the only indie reps I see getting in are either Reimu or (as much as I hate to say it) Steve. Touhou is the poster child for popular indie projects, even if it isn’t as big over here as it is in Japan. ZUN is also open to the idea of Reimu in smash. The main things that go against Reimu is the fact that she isn’t very well known outside of Japan (and those who do know her often associate her with loli culture, which might be a problem) and because the way the franchise is set up, legalities with Touhou would either be really easy or really, really hard. Steve, on the other hand, has sort of transcended being an indie character. Minecraft recently overtook Tetris as the best selling game of all time, and has become a household name around the world. Maybe I’m just projecting (I’m probably the only person from my generation that doesn’t like Minecraft), but I don’t think Steve is getting in either. First of all, legality with Microsoft would probably be an issue as they would certainly demand more money for Steve than Banjo, who, while a treasured character worthy of his spot, comes from a dead IP who wasn’t had a new game since 2008. Also, similar to former best seller Tetris, I just don’t think that Minecraft’s blocky, pixelated art style and rigid player animations would be a good fit for smash. Again, totally me projecting, but that’s just what I think. I do expect to get Steve over mii swordfighter, though. That makes sense.

Now with my little indie rant out of the way, I’ll do a bullet-point list for characters that I’ve posted memes about on the blog before and what I think of their chances of getting in:

First of all, I think it’s obvious that Raz isn’t going to be one of the DLC characters. Yes, Psychonauts 2 is coming out later this year and the first game is one of my favorite video games of all time and he would fit in perfectly, but let’s be real. The franchise is a cult classic that has never been released on a Nintendo system in any way and probably sold horribly in Japan. Double Fine was also recently bought out by Microsoft which really killed any small chance he had of making it in. Sir Daniel is in a similar position

First/second party characters like Bandana Dee and Impa I think are deconfirmed because most of them are represented by Spirits, and I don’t think that they would “double dip.” And because of the scope of spirits mode, I think it’s unlikely that we’ll get any older characters from prexisting franchises (I say older so people won’t hound me with “WELL BYLETH GOT IN SO”).

We are not getting another FE rep lol. Rip red head merchant waifu.

Shooter characters are in a really weird spot since these games tend to not be made for kids (it’s easy to forget in all the hype and speculation that smash is first and foremost meant for kids), yet have made such a big cultural impact on the gaming scene that it’s hard to deny their “worthiness” to be in smash. Master Chief in particular is tricky to place since I definitely think he has much more character than most other shooter reps (cough cough Doomguy) and could have a more varied moveset than just “gun.” But that being said, he’s once again a character owned by Microsoft and comes from a franchise that up until very recently was Xbox exclusive and (as far as I’m aware, has never been released on a Nintendo system). It’s also important to remember that the original Xbox sold miserably in Japan, so I doubt that he’s getting in either.

On a similar note, I’ve seen people throw around ideas for a TF2 rep. This makes a lot more sense to me than Halo or Doom; the playable characters have much more personality and the cartoony aesthetic of the game fits in way better than most other shooters (cough cough Doom). I don’t know which character would be chosen though. Heavy probably? I think their main problem is that Valve would probably be picky about licensing and whatnot (I don’t think we’d be getting Gordon Freeman or Chell for the same reason). Additionally, I struggle to imagine TF2 without it’s signature dark humor which would most likely be cut for smash

Due to recent events, I do not think we will be getting an Overwatch or any other Blizzard rep.

If there’s one character I’d be willing to bet money on getting in, it’s Crash. While he’s never really been all that popular in Japan, it just feels right to me. He fits in perfectly, he has some history with Nintendo (even if he is more synonymous with PlayStation), and I mean…he just feels right. I know that sounds shitty after having just denied a bunch of other characters in an articulate manner, but I don’t know what else to say. I’m not even that big of a Crash fan. The only thing I can see hurting his chances is Activision potentially asking for money than Nintendo is willing to give (this is why he didn’t get into Pl’ystation Allst’rs)

Similarly, I think Spyro has a good chance of getting into smash, but not as well as Crash. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I always thought that Crash just had more of a cultural impact than Spyro did. I do think Spyro has a good chance of getting in though. Maybe some Skylanders/amiibo crosspromotion? Probably not.

Given how stingy they were with Hero (when compared to other DLC reps) and _especially _Cloud, I don’t think we’re getting another Square Enix rep, be it Sephiroth, a Black Mage, or Geno. That being said, it could’ve all been a long con and the FF7 remake will release alongside Sephiroth DLC with the actual fucking spirit battles that we should’ve gotten. Probably not though.

Dante I think has a pretty good chance at getting in. I think that he stands at a similar position to Bayonetta when it comes to censorship, so I think he could work. God knows that he would be broken if he did get in though.

I’ve been a big advocate for a Puyo Puyo rep in smash, and if we were to get one I think it would be Arle (maybe with other characters on her alts like Koopalings/Heroes). People have already theorized how her moveset could work, and I agree with that speculation wholeheartedly. Puyo Puyo unfortunately isn’t very well known outside of Japan since in the past it was usually released under a different brand (Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine, Kirby Avalanche, etc). I do think that we absolutely need more puzzle reps than fucking Doctor Mario though, and Puyo Puyo seems perfect.

Professor Layton has unfortunately not had a new game in a long time (at least not one where he has a staring role), and outside of his swordsmanship, which is seen very rarely throughout the series, I don’t think that there’s much of a moveset to be made for him.

I love Ace Attorney, but I don’t think that Phoenix Wright is getting in. I don’t think that Sakurai would realistically just copy and paste his MvC3 moveset to smash and I don’t know what else you could do with him. Also, we haven’t gotten a new international release for Ace Attorney since 2016.

I know next to nothing about No More Heroes but I know a couple of people who will have a fit if I don’t mention Travis. I know there’s a sequel on the horizon but similar to Psychonauts, I don’t see it really happening. It feels to much like a cult classic to me. Once again, I know next to nothing about No More Heroes, so take that with a grain of salt.

I don’t think that any assist trophy characters will be “promoted” to playable through DLC.

And that’s about it. I know that sounded really pessimistic, but that’s honestly because I haven’t the foggiest idea about who’s going to get in. Everyone I want in in this timeline is either an assist trophy/spirit or a niche western/indie pick that I doubt has a chance. That sucks, but it’s just life. As long as we don’t get Goku or Fortnite though, I’ll be happy with whoever.

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck Candy p9-12

Page 9

Well, it's good/bad to see Jade, Karkat and Dave are as much a disaster in this timeline as the previous one.

So Jade is definitely a buff girl, being able to lift them both like that.

And she coyishly set Dave up, inteding for him to fib himself into a corner, exposing his true feelings. But alas, all her logic cannot achieve here what it took Dirk an excessive amount of meddling to do. I am starting to wonder how these versions of Dave and Karkat are going to end up acknowledging their feelings.

It's also a bit weird to see Jade's flirting. In the sense that she doesn't appear to be clear on what relationship she is after with them. She's shipping Dave and Karkat as matesprits/red rom. But she's also maintaining all the black signals she shared with Karkat in the session. So it wouldn't be a red polyamorous relationship, something more clusterfucky.

Dave tried to message Dirk - I'm actually kind of curious what would've happened if he had succeeded. But - coincidence or not, narrative meddling or not - he was prevented from doing so.

It's hilarious to consider that this anticlimactic parting of ways is how they spend most of the "dates" Jade takes them out on. As she said she was going to eat spaghetti alone *again*.

Speaking of *again*: KARKAT: WE ARE NEVER HAVING A PLAYDATE WITH DIRK AND JAKE AGAIN

It's funny, come to think of it, to call this a noodle incident, as they were going out to eat spaghetti when Karkat said this.

---

Page 10

Okay wow.

Wow okay.

So... John's unsure where he stands, or wants to stand, with Roxy. He's feeling like he might be breaking into something here, with her and Calliope.

That was exactly what he was worrying about in the Meat timeline too, with an added feeling of being too late. But, he's right. Whatever he says, he's not dumb, he still picks up on some things, and he knows there's more between them.

What surprised me is to see how Roxy turns out to not actually be that "girly" underneath after all in this path, so the point of diversion I talked about earlier might really have been John's choice.

It's just that, whatever bothers her about her identity, those worries seem to fall by the wayside when she's with John! N'aww. I still feel like she should talk things through with him (and Calliope), since whatever she went through in the Meat timeline didn't just come from thin air, she must have been going through these issues for years.

John does feel like he can't completely parse Roxy, which we know is normal. But it would be great if they could talk more, that we get more info from her. The setting of this "Hakuna Matata" atmosphere that permeates the Candy timeline to some extent, might mean that she doesn't swing all the way to nonbinary male-presenting. But she's definitely not okay, feeling pressured into presenting as a feminine woman. It puts into perspective Mom's behaviour as well - fleeing into booze for all the things that were bothering her about herself.

Also, more references to the fact that John was quite miserable alone in his house for these years, and didn't know what to do about it.

Dave's sudden appearance was unexpected! It implies this takes place the same night as the previous page. But Dave only travels through time, so did he, like - fly all the way over to the consort kingdom to see John?

It seems that Dave could've used John to confide in during the Meat timeline as well. I'm assuming he's about to ask for some advice, or soliloquy at John to get to an epiphany, about how to handle his relationship with Jade... and Karkat.

Meanwhile, John is steadily keeping his conversation with Terezi going - which I'm just silently squeeing over. No matter if this Terezi is the same as the one in the Meat timeline. After his feelings for Roxy, and potential feelings for Rose he doesn't even want to think about - he's still harboring that same attraction as Meat John.

And yes, their conversations here are also a treat to read. I know that when Roxy and John first interacted I was definitely on board with shipping them, but I've gotten the feeling during the epilogues that they've grown too far apart, each struggling with issues the other can more difficultly relate to. While Terezi and John's chemistry still rings true with me.

But now's John's going to continue texting Terezi while en route to the spot Dave's chosen for their bro talk, hahah, this'll end up being awkward too. Especially taking into account that Dave and Terezi were an item during the Game Over timeline too.

---

Page 11

Wow.

Okay so the conversation with Terezi wasn't shown.

But we did get something much better - Dave and John actually discussing something deep and deeply personal.

Unfortunately, John doesn't have the romantic experience to be able to give Dave solid advice. But he did ask some of the right questions. Even if it were questions Dave was already struggling with, it must've have been at least a bit validating.

I think John doesn't give himself enough credit - even if he couldn't help Dave, he was *there* for him. Few people are able to do that, be there, at the right moment.

The reference to the coin flip was indeed unintentionally ill-put, yeah. It reeks of Felt Dave and the horrendous decision Dave faced in deciding to kill him or not.

Dave's torn up, thinking that he has a responsibility toward Jade and Karkat to go into this relationship. But he has to come in the clear first on what he's feeling and what he wants for himself.

I imagine that there's a bigger than zero chance he won't take up Jade on her flirting after all. He wasn't leading her on at this point, Jade has started being rather intrusive on them, if I'm honest.

Meanwhile, Roxy and John are still going to end up continuing there date. Leave it to Roxy to leave a wrong date venue carrying all the breadsticks she can. :D Reference to the meme secured!

I do wonder if Dave is going to be able to contact Dirk at all. What state could he be in.

Also, Dave momentarily showing to John as transparent reminds me of how Rose looked to Dirk during her ascension during Meat. That might indicate something about the events to come.

It would be wild if Dave had some big epiphany moment rocketing his Ultimate Self development skyward all of a sudden.

---

Page 12

...

Well.

For a full minute there I was wondering if Jake would in fact be one of the people noticing something wrong going on with everyone.

But alas, it was not meant to be. He was again characteristically hoisted by his own desire not to hurt anyone's feelings.

Still, hmmm. So they all agreed to never use the Spiral Sucker unsupervised, huh. Dang, another strike against Meat Jane. :/

---

So far this week, we've read 4 pages each night, and again this seems like a good moment to stop. Tally ho!

[emeraldwaves]

Title: What We Lack Part 13 Pairing:  Kacchako, Deku/Melissa, Todomomo Rating: T Word Count: 4,158 Read on Ao3 Summary:  

Quirkless.

They’re the last people anyone expects to have a child without a quirk.

Neither of them can fully wrap their heads around it, but Ochako knows Katsuki is struggling far more than her.

Thank you to @its-love-u-asshole for beta-ing

"Come on, Yuuta, attack me!" Shouhei called out, bouncing back and forth on his feet. He hadn't even activated his quirk yet, and already he was ready for a fight.

"Sh-Shou!" Yuuta cried back, shaking his head. "I think it's a bad idea for us to fight." He couldn't attack his boyfriend, if he was even calling him his boyfriend. Yuuta still hadn't worked up the nerve to clarify.

"We're not fighting, Yuu," Shouhei snorted, folding his arms across his chest. "We're fucking training! There's a difference, and this will be fun!"

Yuuta swallowed, unsure of how any of this could be classified as fun.

"But Shou... what if I... what if I hurt you?" he said, glancing down at the ground.

"Then we get healed! The whole point of training is to get stronger. You're going to have to face your classmates during the sports fest!" Shouhei said, pointing out the rather obvious truth Yuuta was trying to avoid thinking about.

Admittedly it was one of his biggest fears, fighting both Shouhei and Arata during the sports fest. Knowing his luck, he'd probably have to face both.

He slammed his eyes shut, trying to breathe. So many times now had he pictured the large stadium... Shouhei standing across from him, a smirk pulled across his lips. Sometimes it was Arata, his piercing turquoise eyes looking as though he were about to murder Yuuta.

Neither were a pleasant daydream and Yuuta's heart began to pound in his chest, his breathing growing shallow. He shook his head back and forth.

"N-No..." he said, pressing his head to his hands. "I can't!"

"Oi, oi, oi," Shouhei said, jogging over to him. His hands wrapped gently around Yuuta's wrists, pulling them down. "What's going on?"

Slowly turning his gaze to Shouhei, Yuuta bit his lip. "I-I... I can't fight you Shouhei," he whispered. "I'm terrified I'll hurt you or... or..."

Shouhei scoffed. "I guess I should be offended you think I'm weak enough to let you land a hit."

"Eh?" Yuuta blinked, confusion dancing through his dark eyes. "I-I don't think you're weak at all, Shou."

"Exactly. I can hold my own against you," he smirked. His thumbs brushed over the backs of Yuuta's hands. Somehow Shouhei was always so gentle, even behind his sometimes gruff personality.

"Yes but..."

"Boys!" Mina's voice cut Yuuta off and he jerked away quickly, not wanting her to see them holding hands. Or well, he supposed Shouhei probably wouldn't want her to see them holding hands. He wasn't sure how much it mattered.

"M-Mina-sensei! A-Ah uhm... Kirishima-sensei," Yuuta stammered. He knew they should be calling her by her family name, despite being more familiar with her.

"Yuu-kun," Mina chuckled, smirking at both of them. "If the rest of the class isn't around, you don't have to be so nervous and formal!" She giggled. "It's cute how much like your mom you are. Momo-chan must be so proud."

"I-I uh, I hope..." Yuuta muttered, looking down at the ground. So far he hadn't done much to warrant his parents being proud of him.

"What seems to be the problem over here? Everyone is training and you two are just standing here talking," Mina said, narrowing her eyes at the two boys. "You shouldn't take this time for granted, especially with the sports festival coming up! These hours we set aside for training are crucial!" she said, tapping her foot against the ground.

"Well Yuu-"

"It's my fault Mina-sensei!" Yuuta said, immediately cutting Shouhei off. "I-I told Shou I didn't want to attack him and I started thinking about having to face Shou or Arata during the sports festival and I just... I freaked out..." he muttered, his cheeks flushing.

"Yuuta," Mina said and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I get that fighting against your classmates might seem a little bizarre, but I promise it will be good for you! I paired you with Shouhei today because I thought you would feel more comfortable working with someone you know very well. I guess that was maybe a mistake?" She raised her eyebrow, smiling at the two of them.

"N-No!" Yuuta said, shaking his head. "I need to get over it... I know..."

"Try not to think too much about it," Mina explained. "Your mother and I used to spar all the time!" she laughed. "Same with me and Ocha-chan!" She glanced towards Shou. "Your dad was a different story. No one wanted to fight against Bakugou, save for like Eiji... Midoriya... Todoroki occasionally... Oh and of course him and Ochako-chan sparred all the time, probably why they got married," she teased, waving her hand back and forth. "Well, either way, neither of you are going to explode the other, so just try and have fun and give it your all! You're on the hero track for a reason," she said.

Yuuta bit his lip. She was right. He had chosen to do this... he knew what it entailed. He wasn't sure why he thought he would never have to potentially spar against everyone in class. As heroes, his parents never fought against their friends. Only people who were quite obviously villains… but even they probably did things like this in school.

"Right," Yuuta nodded.

"I can promise you your parents sparred all the time as well, Yuu-kun," Mina explained. "None of us became heroes by holding ourselves back."

"I keep telling him he's not going to hurt me," Shouhei huffed.

"Yes, give Shou-kun some credit!" Mina giggled. "Do you think you boys can try to practice now? If you don't want to be paired up in the future, I can make sure to avoid this again, but I think the two of you can help each other get stronger-"

"No! We can do it!" Yuuta said, pulling away from them to go stand more in the middle of the field. The last thing he wanted was to be denied more chances to work with Shouhei. "Let's go Shou!" he called out, letting the blue flames flicker around his palms.

"Alright, alright, give me a second," he said, running to stand across from him.

Yuuta glanced down at his hands, the blue flames cold as he started to warm their temperature, he saw Shouhei press his hands against a few large rocks, moving his fingers to raise them up.

They could do this... it was just like Mina said, they could help each other get stronger.

~~

 SLAP

The sound was sharp, echoing across the training room, Enji's palm connecting with Arata's face.

"You're late," he stated flatly.

The sting spread across Arata's cheek and he instinctively brought his own palm to gently rub the spot.

"I-I had to... change after class," Arata muttered, though even as the words left his mouth, he could tell they felt like a piss poor excuse. It wouldn't matter to Enji what he was doing... Arata was late and Enji wasn't going to accept any sort of reason.

"I don't appreciate people who disrespect my time," Enji scoffed. "You came to me Arata. Please keep that in mind."

"Yes Grandfather," he breathed.

"Good, I'd like you to spend the first hour rotating between core training; jogging, pushups, sit ups, etc."

He opened his mouth about to argue they had worked on those things today during their training session at school, but he didn't wish to elicit anymore slaps.

"If you truly wish to be stronger, Arata, you must discipline yourself. Right now, I question how serious you are taking this."

Arata's stomach dropped. He was questioning that? After how much time and how hard he was working both here and at school? Arata couldn't allow Enji to think that.

"I-I promise I want to take it seriously."

"Words are empty. Actions will prove to me how serious you are."

Arata nodded silently, making his way to the training hall. He would work all night if he had to, homework be damned. Even if he lost sleep, he could make up for the time at some point.

 "There are many reasons we don't speak to your grandfather."

His father's voice echoed in his ear. It was a well known fact, even amongst the professional heroes that Todoroki Shouto and Todoroki Enji did not speak. Enji had been a strong hero before his retirement, maintaining the number one spot for quite some time. Eventually, as did most heroes, he grew too old, forced to retire the name Endeavor.

Arata didn't remember much about his grandfather. He recalled the smell of the house, like something was burning inside of it at all times. He remembered hugging him and excitedly showing his grandfather his quirk for the first time... that was the last day he had seen him with his parents alone.

Aunt Fuyumi occasionally would have the entire Todoroki family over, and Enji always went to that. He attended but he barely spoke, keeping to himself until he said goodbye to each of them, only glancing at Shouto once, nodding his head in acknowledgment.

Shouto never made it clear what their grandfather had done, but Arata wondered how bad it could've been. Then again, based on the way Enji spoke sometimes, Arata had a suspicion it had to do with their mother, and knowing his father, he was very protective of her.

Even Arata disliked the way Enji had made a few subtle comments about his quirk being too similar to his mother's.

"Grandfather..." Arata began, standing in the middle of the room. "Do you think... my mother is strong?"

"Your mother?" Enji asked. He sighed, letting his eyes shut. "Your mother is a strong woman, yes. She uses her quirk well, and has clearly put a great deal into her training."

"I see," Arata said.

"Your father is stronger..." Enji said, trailing off. "I don't believe this is something we should speak on. We're wasting precious training time."

Arata glanced down, staring his feet. "Do you think that... they shouldn't have gotten together?" he asked, biting his lip. Enji clearly wanted to change the subject, unsurprisingly. The few times Arata and Yuuta had brought up the topic of their grandfather to their parents, they too had been dodgy.

"Hm..." Enji sighed, huffing out a breath of air. "No. I don't think that. Momo has always brought out something good in Shouto." His voice gruff as he spoke the words, as though they were painful to him. "She makes him work harder and the two of them have always been a good... duo."

"Oh..." Arata muttered. "Have... you ever told him you think that?"

"He never gave me a chance," Enji muttered, standing up.

"Why is it that... you two don't talk?" Arata knew he was pushing his luck, especially from the way Enji's face fell slightly.

"Mmm," Enji hummed, tapping his finger against his arm. Arata watched, waiting for Enji to respond. "I wanted Shouto to be number one. I wanted him to carry on our family legacy. I pushed him, and he did not wish to be pushed in that way..." he explained. "But you, Arata, despite your tardiness today, I do think you can make it to the top. Your father is constantly fighting for the number one spot against Ground Zero and Deku, but if you work hard, you could own that spot. Just you."

"The number one hero," Arata whispered. It seemed like a dream beyond his reach. He never felt as strong as his father, nor did he think he was as strong as Yuuta even. Though his brother certainly didn't have the same drive Arata did. From what he could tell, he was only interested in following Shouhei around.

He clenched his fists, his eyes burning with more determination. "I'll do it. I'll be the number one hero," he said.

"Good, then I trust you will work hard at this training, and no more being late," he said, narrowing his eyes. "I do not wish to discipline you any more than I have to."

"No more being late," Arata repeated softly. He wondered if this was what his father hadn't liked. The pressure was already tightening in his chest, hoping he wouldn't do anything wrong to upset his grandfather again. If this was what he had to do to be the best... so be it.

~~

Tapping his pencil against his desk, Yuuta twisted his lips. He was tired, and he really didn't feel like continuing his homework, but they had barely started school. He couldn't lose steam now.

He made his way down to the common room, pulling out a kettle to put some tea on when he glanced out the window, noticing a figure heading back towards the B dorm. He raised his eyebrow, noting the way they walked, their backpack and hoodie. There was no doubt in his mind it was Arata.

He pursed his lips and pulled out his phone, glancing at their messages.

[Text to: Arata]: Wow! Training was hard today, huh?

Yuuta sighed. Of course Arata hadn't responded to him. He barely acknowledged him, even when he saw him in the hall.

But what exactly was he doing sneaking around after curfew? Yuuta leaned over the counter, glancing down the hall. There didn't seem to be much movement... he wondered if he could sneak out himself...

He just wanted to talk to his brother... even for a second.

Stepping quietly back to his room, he grabbed his own hoodie and tucked his phone into his pocket. He prayed he wouldn't get caught, but even if he did, worst case, he could make up some excuse about missing his brother or something.

He snuck across the grass to the other building, stepping inside. Arata was on the fourth floor, and of course he had to be at the very top at the other end of the hall.

Taking a deep breath, he scurried towards his door, knocking on it lightly. "Arata," he whispered, and the door immediately swung open. His brother glared at him and grabbed his hoodie, yanking him inside.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, frowning. "It's after curfew."

Yuuta glanced down. "I could ask you the same question."

"It's... my room?" Arata said, glancing around.

Clicking his tongue, Yuuta folded his arms. "I meant I saw you sneaking back inside just now!" he huffed, and then frowned, noticing the redness on the side of Arata's face. Maybe he had been training... or... "Where... were you, Arata?"

"Whatever Yuuta," he scoffed, yanking his chair out to sit down. "I have homework."

"Arata, please," he said. "Are you doing extra training?"

"Yes, now go back to your room before you get us both in trouble!" he hissed, slamming his fist down against the desk. Yuuta jumped, freezing in place. He really didn't want to get caught in Arata's room but...

He had to get to the bottom of this.

"Where is this anger coming from? I don't... I don't understand," he whispered, stepping towards his brother's desk.

"I don't expect you to," Arata muttered, running his hand through his hair. "Look, Yuuta. We're both here to learn and become pro heroes. Can we just... focus on that? Please?"

"I just want to know where you've been."

"It's none of your business," he hissed. "Can't you just go back to Shouhei's room and make out or something?"

Yuuta bit his lip, his body deflating. "Arata I... don't understand why you're acting so... mean? What did I do to upset you? I-I just want to apologize and we can figure this out-"

"Yuuta, not everything is about you, okay? We don't all have our perfect lives figured out and we can't all just laugh and play around with our boyfriend while we half-assedly train. I don't get to just use my quirk casually like you," he snapped. "There's a lot to think about, and it takes way more practice!"

Sighing, Yuuta sat on Arata's bed, looking at his hands. "When we were little... I... was always really jealous of you," he began to explain. "You had such control over your quirk, and your crystals were... well, are, so beautiful. Mom was so helpful to you and... and I was a mess. I still am a mess. My quirk isn't easy to control. It's not like Dad where one side is ice and one is fire... it feels like mine is a weird mix of both and I still... suck at it. Secretly deep down it terrifies me," he laughed softly.

"So I guess what I mean to say is I don't understand why you're so jealous of me when... you have your life together way more than I do. I-I’m terrified I'm going to be a horrible hero. You're strong and badass, like... the perfect combination of Mom and Dad. I don't know why you feel so weak," he said, raising his eyes to look at Arata.

His brother had turned away, staring straight down at his desk.

"You were also the only person who wasn't afraid of my flame at first. When my hands ignited and I screamed, you were the only one to reach forward and grab them, completely unafraid. You've always been brave Arata, so I don't understand... this attitude. It kinda sucks," Yuuta shrugged. "Being pushed away over and over again... I... I don't like it."

Turning around, Arata sat next to him on the bed in a huff. "I wanna be the best, Yuuta. I know you don't care about this and you probably think I'm being crazy but... I need to do this... for myself. You need to do things for yourself too... we can't rely on each other forever."

Yuuta sighed and leaned against him. "Yeah but... we can still be friends. You're my best friend Arata, you always have been and always will be."

Arata sighed with him, rolling his eyes. "You're such a sap, Yuu," he chuckled, gently bumping his side.

"Can you please tell me where you went... I'm just worried..." he said quietly.

"Ugh, Yuu..." he muttered, running his hand through his hair. "Look if I tell you, you can't tell Mom or Dad. Especially Dad."

Yuuta blinked, nodding his head once before pausing. "You... You're training with Grandfather!" he said, thrusting his finger in Arata's face.

"W-What?!"

"Of course!" He jumped up, staring at him. "You want to get stronger and you're working really hard and sneaking away from school! Oh man," he smirked. "Dad is gonna kill you."

"Not if he doesn't find out! Yuuta I swear... if you tell them..."

"Oh my gosh, I'm right," he gasped, covering his mouth.

"I swear, if you tell Mom and Dad, I will kill you."

"Arata, you know how Dad is about Grandfather!" Yuuta said. "Dad might kill you first!"

"Look it's just... extra training and it's going really well... they don't need to know! I-I just... let me tell them on my own time?" he asked.

Yuuta sighed, taking a seat back on the bed. "Okay, okay... I won't tell them. You just have to promise me three things."

"Three?" Arata scoffed.

"Yes three," Yuuta nodded, folding his arms indignantly. "One, if anything goes wrong, you'll stop! Two, you tell Mom and Dad soon, and three, we can be best friends again."

Arata let out a long groan and fell back against his bed. "Fine, fine... I agree... but if I find out you tattled on me..."

"I promise I'll keep your secret... for now. If you don't tell Mom and Dad soon though... all promises are off," he hummed, falling backwards with him. "I really miss you Arata."

Pain flickered in his brother's eyes and Yuuta wondered why Arata was putting so much pressure on himself, why he felt like he had to hold back whatever he was feeling.

"Yeah," Arata swallowed. "I missed you too."

Yuuta could tell from the crack in his voice, Arata truly meant it.

~~

Ochako stared at the table in front of her. For so long it had felt complete; her and Katsuki at the ends, Shouhei and Sayuri sitting across from one another in the middle. It felt whole, complete, and she hated that now the table had dwindled back to three.

She couldn't imagine what she would do in a few short years when it was back down to just two.

Katsuki stood in the kitchen, scrubbing dishes before he loaded them into the dishwasher. Sayuri had slipped away almost immediately after dinner. This was becoming her new habit, eat in almost silence, then escape to her room to work on what she claimed was homework.

She knew Sayuri was still adjusting to Shouhei being gone, and of course, the horrible girls in school who were still bullying her.

"Oi," Katsuki growled. "What's wrong, Cheeks?" He spoke, but didn't turn around from his dishes. How he was so in tune with her emotions always shocked her momentarily.

"I-I just..." She glanced down the hallway towards Sayuri's room. "I'm worried about Sayu," she whispered softly.

"No shit... she's barely talking to us," he snorted.

"Well you're not much of a talker, I guess she gets it from you," Ochako teased, watching the muscles in her husband’s back while he continued to wash through their plates.

"Probably," he grunted. "I'll make her speak if I have to. If it's those girls at school I'll fuckin' murder 'em myself," he snarled, his hand moving faster as he washed the plates aggressively and slammed them into the dishwasher.

Ochako giggled and stood up, making her way to wrap her arms around him. "I understand where you're coming from, Katsuki, but please don't break our plates."

"Those bitches deserve it! What does it matter if she doesn't have a quirk!? I just... it doesn't fucking matter. I sure have fucking learned my lesson there," he said, his voice getting quieter the more he spoke.

"I know," she said, gently stroking her hands over his chest. "Her being quirkless doesn't matter... it shouldn't matter."

"Why are you guys talking about me?" Sayuri's voice made both Ochako and Katsuki freeze in the kitchen.

"Eh? Honey!" Ochako gasped, turning away from Katsuki. "We were just discussing work, that's all."

"Mom, I'm not a fucking idiot," she snapped, glaring at both of her parents, admittedly taking on Katsuki's level of rage. "I get it okay!? It would be so much easier if I just had a damn quirk, wouldn't it?!"

"Honey that's not what-"

"Baby girl..." Katuski growled, turning to face his daughter. "That's not what we were talking about. We were angry about the shit girls at your school. Your mom is stopping me from killing them."

"Ugh, why," she rolled her eyes, snorting as she popped back down into her dining chair.

"Because that's wrong-"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Katsuki and Sayuri muttered at the same time.

Ochako couldn't help the giggle, shaking her head at the two of them. "We can start training soon," Ochako suggested gently, sitting down with her daughter.

Sayuri pursed her lips. "Yeah..."

"What's wrong, baby girl?" Katsuki asked, peering over his shoulder as he took his own seat at the table.

Gently brushing her thumbs over her own fingers, Sayuri shrugged. "I-I guess... being quirkless... not having a power or ability... it used to be normal right?" she asked softly. "Not having a 'mutation' was considered the normal and now..." she trailed off. "I guess I just don't understand why now it's considered so abnormal to be what once was normal..." She twisted her lips and looked down as if she was trying not to cry. "I just don't get why it matters-"

"It doesn't," Katsuki was quick to snap. "So don't tell yourself it does."

"I-I just don't understand why I don't have one. You two have such powerful quirks, Shouhei has one... so why am I sitting here with the short end of the goddamn stick!" she snapped, growing angrier.

"Sweetheart..." Ochako said, and gently touched her shoulder. "I don't want to give you a... scientific answer but... I guess it has something to do with genetics. There was nothing we could do about it, and honey you have to know we tried..."

Sayuri glanced towards Katsuki briefly and then back at her mother. "Well, science is fucking dumb," she hissed, pushing away from the table as she stormed back into her room.

Ochako sighed and glanced at her husband. "Well that went well..."

"Oh yeah," Katsuki snorted, rolling his eyes.

"She is your daughter after all," Ochako said, wishing she could say something to understand and make her daughter feel better.

"Yeah," Katsuki muttered, pushing away from the table to continue the dishes.

As Ochako sat by herself, she realized the table had never felt so empty.

[marignytotreme]

SPOT ON!

Sometimes when I look around the internet, in all it’s glory, I realise just how fucking deluded people are – especially where Meghan Markle is concerned.

A number of us dislike her, a few really don’t care either way and the rest live with their heads up her arse. For those living with their heads up her backside, I’ve noticed that a lot of what you say about Meghan online is, quite frankly, total bullshit and sometimes so utterly absurd, I wonder if most of you are simply on day release.

So below, I have tackled the most common misconceptions head-on; because we all know I don’t enjoy anything more than putting Sussex fans in their place.  

She’s a style icon

I don’t know anybody on this Earth who has access to so much money and the best stylists you can buy, but still appears to have gotten dressed in the dark most of the time. Yes, she has worn one or two nice pieces; but by and large, she looks like a cheap knock-off of Victoria Beckham and I don’t think that image exactly screams “royalty”.

Until I take my last breath on this earth, I will forever be baffled by how Meghan Markle has gotten it so spectacularly wrong in the style stakes. Some people do seem to like the way she dresses; they see her “style” (if you can call it that) as “fresh” and “modern” – but quite frankly, I prefer Kate’s dress coats and hats, which some have labelled “boring”. I don’t agree at all.

Yes, Kate is the future Queen and therefore has played it slightly safer with fashion; but I do really like her clothing which is usually a perfect mix of the traditional and modern. She looks like a ROYAL. And yes Meghan, those long trousers that sweep the floor as you walk may have looked nice on Vicky B, but she is the wife of a footballer – not a member of the royal family. Believe it or not, there is a difference.

She’s a humanitarian

This one always makes me laugh.

Show of hands please; how many of you know genuine “humanitarians” who visit the impoverished in a coat worth £7,000? I thought humanitarians were meant to have common sense?

Meghan, dear; walking down the road in Kensington with an “alleviate poverty” bag doesn’t make you a charitable person or a humanitarian – it just makes you a hypocrite. Instead of spending thousands of pounds on ugly clothing that you’ll only wear once anyway, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and donate to your chosen charities? Yes, instead of getting your fans to donate to them on your behalf under the guise of a “Global Sussex baby shower”.

And just another tip for the future; humanitarians don’t preach about climate change off the back of a million-pound trip on a private jet to New York for a party. They don’t wear £99k maternity dresses in Morocco. They don’t spend millions of pounds of the taxpayers’ money to renovate one of their many homes. And they certainly don’t visit those living in poverty dressed from head to toe in Givenchy.

She was already famous and rich in her own right and didn’t need Harry’s money

Right – we’ve been through this. How rich do you really think she was before the ring went on? I mean, seriously? Suits was a lowly cable show and she is not an A-lister. And given her knack of merching at every available opportunity, I’m guessing the woman looks for every possible chance to make money. That doesn’t scream “well off” to me.

Meghan has only really ever gone after men who have a lot of money or means to open doors for her toward new opportunities and a better life, and then drops them when they can no longer do anything for her. This is not the behaviour of an independent feminist who is able to achieve things on her own – this is the behaviour of a gold digger.

So sure – Meg had money; from her divorce settlement with Trevor, from her rumoured days as a yacht girl and Soho House regular and from all the merching she did and does for Jessica Mulroney. But was it millions and millions? Clearly not or she wouldn’t have had to marry a Prince.

She’s proud to represent Britain

In two (very British) words: my arse.

In the year and a half since Harry and Meghan became engaged, I have yet to see her wear any British designers or champion much that is British at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure she goes out of her way to actively avoid wearing anything that is British.

There are even rumours that she has apparently hired an all-American medical team to deliver her brat because in Meghan’s expert opinion, our 70-year-old NHS service isn’t good enough to deliver the second coming of Markle and Wales. It was good enough for the future Queen Consort to deliver three children in an NHS Hospital, but no, not for old Meggy.

And when charity patronages for Meghan were announced back in January, it was revealed that she would be focusing on – you guessed it – everywhere but the UK. Africa, the Middle East, Antarctica… you name it – if it’s not Britain, Meghan’s happy to back it.

She is the best thing to hit the Royal Family

I think you’ll find that was Kate eight years ago.

(Happy Anniversary for tomorrow, Cambridges!)

Despite the adamant claims of her fans, so far, I have yet to see Meghan do anything groundbreaking. If you ask her little followers for proof of anything they’re all like:

Oh, and when they’re really stumped, they’ll come out with “yeah? Well Meghan’s only been married a year but Kate’s been on the scene for eight and hasn’t done anything at all.”

Right… Apart from being an ambassador for Britain on several overseas tours, starting the Heads Together charity (amongst others) and birthing a future King?

Meghan has so far, by my tally – cooked once or twice with a few Grenfell victims and gave a bunch of bananas to some prostitutes.

While I’m all for backing any disaster that happens on my doorstep (I live around the corner from where Grenfell stood), I will say this: the tower disaster has had more money thrown at it than you can shake a stick at and it was almost two years ago now – Meghan, it’s time to find something more current to support, not just backing the first “English” cause that you could get your hands on.

As for the bananas – don’t get me started. What bright spark thought it’d be a good idea to give phallic shaped fruit to a group of sex workers? And with messages like “you’re so loved ”… yeah, I’m sure 35-year-old Louise from Dagenham is feeling totally “loved” when she’s shivering at the side of the road waiting for possible clientele to drive by or blowing some guy for a fiver at the back of his Ford Mondeo. Get real, Meghan.

If I were one of those women, I’d tell Her Royal Highness exactly where she could put those bananas – and probably not for the first time either.

She doesn’t want the limelight

Yeah, like a cat doesn’t want the canary.

I have never seen a person so adept at sniffing out a camera from at least fifty miles away. The Cambridges could’ve used her in France seven years ago when Kate was papped taking her clothes off on their villa balcony – with Meghan about, no photographer goes undetected.

Bottom line: Meghan loves herself and she loves the cameras. The two combined thrill her to no end.

The best example of this would’ve been at the British Fashion Awards earlier this year – she was so unbelievably excited to have the spotlight on her where she could squeeze the life out of her bump in front of the UK press for all to see, I’m surprised she didn’t have an orgasm.

I’d put fifty quid on this whole “privacy” thing surrounding the baby’s birth being Harry’s idea and Meghan has just been forced to go along with it. Madam? Give up the spotlight when her mealticket arrives? Once again – my arse.

She could potentially be Queen one day

I know this one sounds totally mental, but please go with me on it – her fans are actually saying this sort of crap on Twitter. They actually believe, in their tiny deluded minds, that this woman could eventually wind up as Queen Consort one day.

And how exactly do you think this will happen?

Perhaps she’ll poison Kate with the contents of one of her diamonds, divorce Harry’s balding, ginger arse and William will marry her after realising the deceptive, social-climbing grifter actress was really “The One” after all? Ah, just like Romeo and Juliet.

For any Meghan fans reading this, please let me say this for the final time, as some of you do not appear to understand how the line of succession works – Meghan will never become Queen. Say it with me now…

No fewer than five people have to cark it in order for Harry to get anywhere near the throne, and no, he does NOT take over if William were to die suddenly while George is still young. In this instance, the throne would be powered by a team of advisors until George turned eighteen, and then he would be crowned officially. Harry and Meghan are unlikely to ever sniff the material the throne is made from, let alone sit on it – sorry Sussex Stans.

She’s here to stay

Incorrect again, I’m afraid.

Given the woman’s track record, it doesn’t appear she sticks around anywhere for very long and the second something better comes along, she’s off.

No, right now, I can’t imagine what could be higher than royalty – but I’m sure Meghan has a few ideas and is probably targeting her next victim as we speak.

What will it be, Meg? A billionaire without the life of restrictions and protocol? Or maybe you’ll run for President? Nah, even though you love the sound of your own voice, that seems like it would be too stressful for madam’s liking.

Whatever her next move is, I have no doubt she’ll be hitting the road in the next two to three years.

Once the novelty of having a title wears off, the royal purse strings are tightened by the Queen and the penny finally drops for Meghan that she’ll never really have her own brand and platform to project her oh-so-wonderful ideas from, she’ll be out of there – with half of Harry’s money and his kid(s) in tow.

Of course, the list of misconceptions about Meghan goes on and on; there is so much utter rubbish spewed on social media by her fans that I can only assume they’re either paid PR people, seriously deranged or Meghan herself. Honestly, you can’t write some of the stuff that comes up – or apparently you can. It’s a crazy world out there.

If you do think any of the above is incorrect, and you believe Meghan really is a stand-up (Non-UK) citizen, you can find me on Twitter to discuss it @CrownofSapphire – I’m always ready and willing to have an argument.

Have a good one, guys!

[dent-de-leon]

what do you think of people saying allurance won't happen because "they treating treating lance's love interest as a secret"? I personally think they making excuses because they were doing it before season 3/4 come out and all the allurance development happened after those interviews I don't remember any talk about lance's love interest after we beging to get allurance stuffs

To be honest, I don’t think they’re treating his love interest like a secret. Quite the opposite, if we go by how they very politely explained it was never their intent to bait k/l, responded to a gender neutral question about Lance’s future SO with female exclusive pronouns, and how Dreamworks has continually pushed all this allurance content lately–I think they’re trying to be as transparent as possible. With Lance’s love life more than anything else, because of how demanding the fandom’s gotten, I think they’re trying to gently show fans how this will go. 

Here are the sources for the interview excerpts I mentioned above:

Interviewer: What would Lance look for in a future Mr. or Mrs. Blue Lion? I’m gonna guess she meant Red Lion now. I think she’s trying to fill out her space Tindr profile. But yea, what is Lance’s–And I like this, because Lance is kind of all over the place. He hits on anything that moves and is pretty, which all the aliens are pretty. But what would he look for, really, in a partner or a soulmate?

Lauren: I don’t know if Lance knows what he needs. I know what he might look for, but what he might look for is not necessarily what he needs. I think he needs someone who is self-assured and knows herself, so that he can kind of become that same person and know himself. (source)

and

Interviewer: “I feel like there was a little tease? It seems shippers want to ship Lance and Keith together, so are there gonna be any hints of that at all? Or is it just more like–okay, they’re friends, they’re starting to become friends.”

Lauren: “I think we had a very natural arc in mind for those two. Which is, they start out at odds, but then they grow to kind of respect each other. And if that leads into people being like–they’re spending time together! Then that’s a ‘thing,’ but…We’re not trying to cater to or bait anyone into anything, we’re just trying to do what’s right for the story.”

Joaquim: “We also try not to be overtly affected by what popular opinion might be.”

Lauren: “And we’re working in animation. Our schedule is so far in advance for that–even if people shipped Keith and Lance, we couldn’t go back and just change the story–to be like and now they’re in love!”

Joaquim: “There’s just no way. We’re already years past that storyline, you know?” (source)

As for this notion Lance’s love will be for someone he didn’t expect, it comes from the answer about his future “Mr. or Mrs. Blue Lion.” Note that the use of a male SO was introduced first, and the staff could have easily answered the question gender neutrally. But they made the very deliberate decision to go no, this is a she, so as to not mince words or get hopes up. This is what the staff means when they said they wouldn’t queerbait. It would be so easy to feed into what fans want and perpetuate this idea k/l might happen so fans keep watching. But nothing in this track record remotely suggests that. 

That’s not a matter of “not wanting to ruin the surprise,” it’s legitimately the staff making a conscious effort to be completely transparent so as to not condone or perpetuate queerbaiting. And that honestly is so much more comforting to me than a staff who will lead their audience on, yet people still ignore it. The thing about keeping things a “surprise” is, that doesn’t come into play when they’re being crystal clear about Lance’s interests. Because if you say things like “oh, you’ll never know!! It might happen!!” when you’ve already expressed that it won’t, that’s queerbaiting. 

Anyway, I’ve covered the allurance thing here, but basically–the sentiment that Lance doesn’t know what he needs in a relationship still holds true. Because at the start, he was interested in Allura for the same shallow reasons he liked every other princess. He wanted someone pretty and cute. Early on, he fantasizes about Allura and another princess in the comics both kneeling at his feet, which indicates he saw the two as interchangeable. Any pretty girl would do.

But as their relationship organically evolved, it became clear that Lance had wholly underestimated Allura and was completely taken by surprise when he saw who she really was. Consider, for instance, Lance thinking he needs someone sweet and soft for him to protect. A damsel in distress he can swoop in save. 

But then he sees Allura fight for the first time and wow. He realizes Allura is just as physically strong as she is mentally, she’s a force of power and Lance has come to highly respect that. Again, not something in a partner he knew he wanted, but it’s part of Allura’s character, and he wholly respects that.  

And then there’s all the other things about Allura he never realized–her devotion to her beliefs, the way she’ll put herself on the front lines to stand for a cause, how she and Lance both just click with Blue, how Allura is the one who steps up and supports Lance rather than just being some damsel he can save. How Allura is strong and fierce and so trusting of him, how she opened up about her very personal connection with Red to him and only him, how she confided the importance of her armor. 

How Lance was the one who realized she had so much potential and heart, how he literally calls her “the heart of Voltron,” and gives her the confidence she needs to awaken an ancient magic. When Lance first met her, he never could’ve predicted things would end up like this. He didn’t realize Allura was so very different from the person he thought she was. Just like how, at the start, he wasn’t what Allura expected either. 

Remember how she didn’t tell him the Blue Lion traits because she felt he didn’t deserve it? 

But then she was the one who opened up and told him why he was chosen by Red? Why he deserves to be on this team? Yeah, their whole dynamic is built on working past that first impression and coming to terms with how much they actually love each other after understanding who they are. 

There’s “keeping a relationship secret” and then there’s “We’re halfway through the series and want to start getting one of our ships together, so we’re hinting at it as much as possible so people won’t think it just came out of nowhere. It’s a good relationship that’s getting the foundation and buildup it deserves.” Allurance is the latter. 

The fact that the lead-up to season 5 was filled with supplementary material like Lance’s completely Allura focused vlog, his very heartwarming “I knew I could feel you in my heart,” and the allurance holiday edit, are all signs of the latter. I’m pretty sure we’re getting a lot more allurance in season 5, and they’re basically preparing us for it. If a major ship was going canon soon, I’d expect that kind of keen attention to it. 

Happy holidays, I love allurance and Dreamworks does too, because this kind of buildup is very intentional 

[sarcasticace]

SarcasticReview: Rules Newlyweds aka you THOUGHT I was done writing AntiRoE posts.

Warning, this post gets LOOOOOOONNNNNNG.

So, Rules of Engagement book 4 aka Rules: It’s-been-one-year-since-we’ve-been-married-weds.

I mean... Newlyweds. Rules: Newlyweds. Yes, that’s it. Even though they’re not newlywed anymore, but... I guess to us, they are, even though it has been a year. Yearlyweds.

Anyway.

The epilogue no one really wanted... well, most of the tumblr fandom didn’t really want. For a short time, actually, it kinda felt like it was going to be a full book. Persoanlly, I didn't think RoE needed an epilogue. The chapter before the RoE B3 finale felt like a great ending point. Remember? All the siblings released nana’s ashes out to sea like she wanted, but then they had to stretch the book’s ending out with the brother’s proposal to Elena. Really, that should’ve been before the wedding. It killed the pacing. But I’m getting sidetracked. I didn’t think RoE needed an epilogue book. TC&TF didn’t get one. It’s epilogue was stuffed at the end of the final chapter of B3 and it was still really good. Why is RoE so special? I mean, yeah, TFM got an epilogue book, but that’s an ongoing series and it felt more like a summer special than an epilogue anyways.  

Regardless, I have to say, Newlyweds did a good job as epilogue for the most part. Though it wasn’t exactly how I would have liked it to go, personally, they tied up the twin’s and the cousin’s storylines pretty well. For the twins, my complaint are more opinion based. I would’ve preferred party!twin go into cooking rather than... being a tour guide for her sister’s virtual vacation company. I kinda wanted her to work with Mira and Blake, maybe be in charge of the front area+the waiters/waitresses.

Aria (Big-Sis!MC), however, I don’t fully understand what her storyline was even suppose to be in this book. Apparently, going by the summary, she tasked herself with bringing her family back together ever since they grew apart or something in the year since B3. The thing is, it doesn’t even seem that way. It just feels like they’re all busy with their lives and/or jobs. You know, jobs, Aria? The thing you haven’t had since the beginning of RoE. I mean, understandable then, you were on summer vacation... idk if it was a vacation from work or... a vacation from... not working? Do we know what she did? There was something about wanting to go back to work in the early chapters of B4. I mean, I guess it’s fine since she’s a millionaire or something now. Anyways, getting back to my point. Other than trying to bring the family back together even though there’s no need, Aria serves to add more pointless drama. Case in point, she invites Aunt Mallory to her family get together with no reasons as to why she’d do such a thing until the finale. At that point, the players choose why she did it. Either we embrace our aunt like we’re happy to see her or tell her we have our eyes on her/we only invited her for free gifts. That... bothers me. First off, no. Players wouldn’t have invited her in the first place. They ain’t that dumb. Don’t put Aria/the book’s dumb ass decisions on us. Second, Aunt Mallory doesn’t even do anything. She’s pretty insignificant to B4, but hey...

It wouldn’t be RoE if we didn’t have nonsense drama that doesn’t lead to anything.

Speaking Aunt Mallory, she gets a redemption arc this book just like we all thought she would and it’s as half assed as we thought. She’s trying really hard guys. You know, after she found our their grandmother left her something in her will. A lake house. She finally decides to NOT be a total ass, putting children and her own family in danger, when she gets something out of the will she always thought she should’ve since the book began. 

Moving on.

Violet (Mean!cousin), like the twins, doesn’t have much of a story either, but that’s because instead, like the twins, her overall story since the first book is wrapped up. Like it should be in any epilogue. She’s really embraced mom-hood and it was quite enjoyable to see. I still can’t believe she named her child after nana with all the bullshit she pulled. If it were me, I would’ve said the name would die with me. I mean, I AM in that position, technically. No kid, though, but... I’m getting sidetracked. I guess that just goes to show how far she’s come. Chaz is... still Chaz. Kinda annoyed. I mean, I like him and all. He’s sweet, but his bird thing got real old real fast. Now, Violet’s relationship with her mother this book is also interesting and how it circles back to nana. Violet realizes her relationship with Nana was rocky at best and didn’t want that for Amelia with Aunt Mallory... so she’s trying to mend things with her mother which I found AMAZING. Looking back to B1, I never would’ve thought Violet would become my favorite character from ALL of the Choices book, but here we are. She’s the mean girl done write (like Olivia). Take notes, Becca writers.

Now we move on to Elena and Luke (Big-Bro!MC). I had HOPED they would address how quickly their relationship has progressed, how short a time they were actually dating before Luke proposed. Also, I had HOPED they’d address the fact that Luke didn’t even come up with the idea of proposing. Nana forced him to. B1-3 lasted... let’s say 3 months. A month, let’s say, was spent with them pretending to be dating before developing true feelings for one another and they really started dating. At the max, they were dating for 2 months before Luke proposed.... forced to propose. Remember this. Put a pin in it. I’m making this point for a reason. Now, Luke’s big story this book isn’t NOT addressing the things I mentioned above, but rather Luke’s already been married despite the team SAYING they had been planning RoE out for months and canon material said no one other than Aria had gotten remotely close to being married.

I got this screencap from tumblr. Sorry, I do not recall from who. My apologies.

Elean is pissed that Luke never told her about this ex-wife. Understandable, but... come on. Some members of the fandom theorized it might’ve been a drunken or young love mistake, but that’s the thing: this is never talked about again until the finale. You can’t even say he kept it a secret because Aria literally has a picture from... idk, a family album. Even her husband knows about her.

It wouldn’t be RoE if we didn’t have nonsense drama that doesn’t lead to anything.

From Chapter 2 onwards, Elena is always seen pissy face at Luke who is just awkwardly pretending everything is fine and trying to make it right like a silly sitcom gag. The moment after the cliffhanger chapter is skipped in favor of a Historia (party!twin)-centered chapter (thank GOD tho) so we don’t even get to see what Elena’s immediate reactions or thoughts are. She’s just mad now. In fact, she’s mad for the rest of the book until the chapter before the finale where Elena and Luke seem okay having worked things out, quickly running up to use Aria’s bedroom in a very questionable scene. It’s okay, they were just hiding a puppy... in her bedroom... a young, very noisy and probably troublemaking puppy... alone... in her BEDROOM. I mean, sure, the pet they get is player determinant, but still. So here comes the finale. Flashback to BEFORE that scene. Elena and Luke finally talk in the pet store. Luke tells Elena about his ex-wife that we’ve ALL been dying to hear (if you don’t read that as sarcastic, I petty you) and get the lamest, shortest conclusion to this plot point. It’s not even a story, the ex-wife doesn’t even get a name. The entirety of the story is this: “To be honest, it was so long ago I don’t even think much about her. We eloped and there wasn’t even a real ceremony. We got divorce pretty soon after that. I don’t even count her as an ex-wife.” First off, that’s a sneaky way around the previous point I had made about going against canon facts, but whatever. You do you. Second, this is it!?! You made a big deal, stretched out Elena being made for, idk, 3 or 4 out of 5 chapters for this! Thirdly and most importantly, getting back to the point I told you to put a pin in, Luke ELOPED, maybe in Vegas or something, then got divorced soon after. Don’t you think think this might make Elena think twice about this whole getting married so quickly? Shouldn’t Nana and Luke have back when this was his task? Obviously, the RoE team didn’t think this through and that just... bothers me. I love the characters in this book, I see the AMAZING potential it has and the lessons it COULD be telling about love and marriage and stuff, but it just... doesn’t and instead tells these dramatic and unnecessary stories. Sure, people defend this by saying RoE is like a soap opera drama or whatever, it’s SUPPOSE to have dumb drama, but... idk... excuse me for wanting RoE to be BETTER than your typical soap opera drama.

Now, the ending to RoE’s ending. It ends how it began... kinda. It started on a cruise, but ended on a sail boat. They’re both boats and they have their family together, whatever. It was a weird scene because, right before getting on the boat, there was a strange filter. Like a bad Instagram post. Anyways, I like how it ended similar to how it started. That’s what I liked about TC&TF’s ending. but... unlike RoE players get to choose whether or not Kenna starts a family with their chosen LI or have more adventures while RoE, a book about marriage and love and family, doesn’t give you that choices. Kenna is a main character, MC is a my character. You’d think PB would give the RoE the option of kids since they’re player customizable while Kenna is their own character. And that’s how it ends. Aria says she’s having twins and then cue credits. Come on.

Anyways, conclusion time. B4 wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, but hey...

It wouldn’t be RoE if we didn’t have nonsense drama that doesn’t lead to anything.

B4 was pretty good wrapping up some of the character’s stories for the most part so.... yay! It’s over.

[theclacks]

Buffy Thoughts - (S7 E20-E21)

AKA Touched and End of Days

AKA:

(and also pain)

I don’t know if I can put my thoughts for these episodes into coherent words. But IDK, I’ll try. They’re pretty much 90% shippy, 10% the rest of the actual episodes, but whatever. Also they’re both technically several months old because I’ve been procrastinating on watching the final episode out of fear. What else is new?

BtVS & AtS Recap Master Post located here

Episode 20 (Touched)

Oh my god. Oh my god. It is official Buffy/Spike is my favorite ship of all time.

OF ALL TIME.

Like my god, I think I’ve said it before that I’m glad I’m only seeing this series now because if I was younger and less fiction-ly jaded, I think it would’ve destroyed me, but seriously, WHY DID IT TAKE ME THIS LONG TO WATCH BUFFY? I don’t know where my heart is going to be when I finish, what I’ll watch next to fill the void, if there will BE anything to watch next (which is why I’ve been stretching out these final episodes for so, sooooo long) and yeah.

Spike’s speech. AKA quite possibly my favorite scene ever. I discussed this ep a bit over at EF with the Spuffy crew right after I’d watched it and there were some back and forths over opinions of this speech, namely that it sounds like something Riley would’ve said, not Spike, right down to the “you’re a hell of a woman” line from As You Were and I stand by what I said then:

The line is the same. The context is not.

Riley made his “you’re a hell of woman” line as he was leaving to return to his wife, right after he basically said “yeah, you have a shit job that makes you smell funny but you’re still a hottie and you’re better than this.” And I want to put those other two things aside and focus on the “you’re better than this” sentiment, because that’s something that’s been fucking with Buffy’s emotional health for a very long time. This idea that there’s a better Buffy out there somewhere that she’s not currently being and therefore needs to try harder to be that Buffy because if she’s not that Buffy then she’s doing something wrong.

Spike on the other hand. Best line hands down = “I love what you are, what you do, how you try.” He loves her for who she is in that moment, not some idealized version who she could be. Lets her know that trying and failing is fine, that if she fails she doesn’t lose any of her worth as a person (something that Buffy punishes herself frequently her).

And I also love how Spike’s speech begins and ends with humor. Not “you smell bad but you’re still hot” humor, but audience-directed humor in the vein of:

BUFFY: Fine. The stage is yours. Cheer me up.

SPIKE: You're insufferable.

BUFFY: Thank you. That really helped.

It’s like… blah, my brain is refusing to connect words right now, but basically a lot of people in Buffy give her complements when she’s feeling bad for the sake of giving complements vs seeing through the angst and getting frustrated at it. Not like “why are you trying harder” frustrated, but IDK, it’s the difference between letting someone mope because you don’t want to upset them more vs giving them what they need (AND THAT’S NOT RUNNING AWAY TO ENGLAND, GILES). IDK, the speech was a perfect blend of emotional lightness, followed by an emotionally raw sucker-punch, book-ended by yet more lightness.

So yeah.

And as much as my shipper self could’ve skipped out on the other “love” scenes of the episode, I think they really do work well as contrast, particularly the Faith/Robin sex scene. There’s practically no emotional connection there, just the need to physically connect to someone, anyone. And IMHO it represents a growth in the way BtVS handles relationships? Unlike the Faith/Xander scene from Season 3, it’s not played for laughs. There’s nothing “wrong” or “bad” about it.

But, at the same time, contrasted against the Spike/Buffy cuddling scene, it really highlights that sex doesn’t automatically make anything more “meaningful.” Which has been this huge hangup for Buffy (the “need sex to have a complete love” thing). First there was Buffy/Angel which basically culminated in a single night of sex, and then he ultimately broke up with her because he didn’t think they could ever give each other a wholesome relationship without sex. That translated into her jumping into sleeping with Parker, perhaps to get the post-sex skeletons out of the closet ASAP (which, admittedly, she did). And then Riley… well, Buffy/Riley had a fuckton of issues that broke them apart, but she definitely felt like she couldn’t trust him until they’d had sex, not in terms of the actual act but him not leaving before she woke up.

...and then Buffy leaves Spike before he wakes up and oh my heart. It will never be whole.

Anyways, yeah, Andrew/Spike friendship remains beautiful. Spike growling like a cat/dog is canon (has he growled before this episode and I just haven’t noticed?). I loved the camera direction in the chaotic Scooby Meeting sans Buffy. I really loved Faith period, even (especially) through all her leadership failures ; it’s ridiculous how much my opinion on her has done a 180 since season 3.

And then Buffy finds a red scythe which I know is important because it’s on all the comic covers, and Faith finds a ticking time bomb and I actually laughed because of the clichéness of it all.

Episode 21 (End of Days)

Ugh.

Ugggggh.

Ugggggggggggh.

So this review, despite being for End of Days, will have lots of spoilers for Chosen and AtS S5. Because lots of spoilers are a thing that happened to me over the course of watching this series.

If for whatever reason you’re reading this blind and not as a vicarious feelings recap, stop reading now.

Good?

Okay, good.

So, I know pretty much all the basics of what’s going to happen in the last episode: Willow does a spell that transfers the Slayer powers into all the potentials, Anya dies (gets hit by the equivalent of a Stormtrooper blast? you were a leaf on the wind, Anya. a leaf on the wind)...

...Angel gives Buffy an amulet that can close the hellmouth but Spike has to sacrifice himself in order to use it, Spike does so but not before Buffy confesses her love to him…

Which okay. Pretty much the only thing I’m NOT spoilered for is how that scene goes down. Like does Buffy tell him that she loves him before or after he makes the decision to sacrifice himself? Does he believe her? If it’s before, does he think she’s just saying it to convince him to sacrifice himself? If it’s after, does he think she’s just saying as a consolation prize?

And it’s like, I REALLY WANT HIM TO BELIEVE HER, BUT I AM FILLED WITH DOUBTS. Because I know what happens in AtS S5, and yes, SMG not wanting to do the show anymore is pretty much the reason why she doesn’t make any cameos, but in an in-universe context, the only reason Spike WOULDN’T hightail it across the world to wherever Buffy was upon re-achieving corporeal status is if he didn’t think her declaration of love was genuine.

And if that’s the case, I think Chosen is going to break me. Which is one of the reasons why it’s actually been about 2 months now since I watched End of Days and I still haven’t gotten the courage to watch Chosen. (That and I have a thing about watching final episodes of shows I love. There’s something about knowing there’s always just a little bit more content waiting for you. IDK, I’m weird.)

But yeah. So.

If Spike doesn’t believe Buffy’s declaration of love, then there’s only one reason why he wouldn’t.

And that’s fucking Angel.

I shipped Buffy/Angel during my initial watch of the earlier seasons. I really did. But now I just want to PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. He swoops in all smirky and condescing and then just INSTANTLY starts making out with Buffy, going all forever love with her despite what should be his fucked up emotional state re: loving and losing Cordelia and also his son. And the fact that he instantly, INSTANTLY, goes for the make out session without clueing Buffy into any of this… it just feels really, really, REALLY scuzzy.

Like, it’d be feeling scuzzy even if I wasn’t a Spuffy shipper (which I am, disclaimer). That’s how scuzzy it is.

And really, there’s very little difference between Angel swinging into town and sweeping Buffy off her feet with no mention of his other recent relationship, and what Riley did in As You Were.

And I think everyone knows my opinions on As You Were.

So anyway, back on topic. What’s the point of shoving a sudden love triangle into the FINAL EPISODE of Buffy, especially when it’s going to (I think) end with Spike not believing that Buffy truly loves him. Like was it fan service for Bangel shippers? (I mean, it very well could’ve been, but their ship had sailed FOUR YEARS AGO.) Was it to introduce last minute drama between Buffy and Spike? (to which I said, they already had an Atlantic Ocean’s worth of drama between them, they didn’t need anymore). Is it to make Buffy realize by seeing her options face to face, that she prefers being with Spike? (this would be the option i’d be most okay with, but am majorly doubtful because of all the post-series lists of “Top 15 reasons Buffy should’ve chosen Spike”).

And it’s just like… why?

This is the final season. You guys KNOW it’s your final season. So why?

Buuuuut, this is all speculation on my part due to incomplete spoilers, so maybe my hunches are all wildly off base. I sure hope so.

Either way, it’s January 1st, 2018, and I’ve put off watching BtVS’s final episode long enough. This is the night it ends.

Or… you know, kind of ends for the readers who’ve been reading these. I’ll come back sometime later this week to put all of my Season 7 thoughts + BtVS series as a whole thoughts into some sort of written cohesion.

Oh, and then I have all of AtS S5 to watch, which FUCK YEAH, SPIKE INTERACTING WITH WESLEY AND LORNE AND GUNN AND FRED, I AM STOKED. (You guys have no idea how scared I was that one of them would’ve died before the end of Season 4 and they never would’ve been on screen together.)

Also, paddlin’ back in circles as a last minute thing:

WHY? WHY WOULD YOU BRING ANGEL BACK IN AFTER THIS? THIS WAS PERFECTION. THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF PERFECTION.

Until then, Cassie is my last remaining ray of hope:

Happy New Year, everyone. See y'all at the finish line.

[turnloosethelibrary]

ASCENSION, THE FIRST

By Cee

Fire was destruction. That was why Callidia respected it, even though she couldn’t spend more than two minutes around an open flame without getting the shakes. It had set her free one cold winter night like a bird from its cage. At first, her family had assumed she’d perished, then they assumed she’d set it. Neither were true but she had seized upon the destruction of 546 Illiger Way to leave town. It wasn’t like, in the glow of the night, she had anywhere else to go. She called up her best friend on the payphone and told him to tell anyone else who was tired of the confines of the town, even if it were for a reason completely different from hers, to come around, the bus leaves in an hour. A few of them did and they boarded a bus to nowhere.

None of them were certain when, two years on the road, they crossed into another world. There were no flashing lights, no rabbit holes to fall in or tornados to take them away, they didn’t get lost or swept overboard or get swallowed whole by an earthquake. Maybe the first sign was that the sky was just a bit more purple than usual, the air just a bit more sweeter, but that could’ve been chalked up to being on a whole new coast, so far away from their home. Nothing about the new world was particularly new, nor interesting.

Then, they met the talking black fox, guided by a butterfly made of fire and any explanation they had crumbled away.  “Welcome home, young ones.”

The first reaction to a talking fox is generally a rapid fire list of all the things one has consumed in the past forty eight hours, to rule out food poisoning or drugs. Being that Calli had only had a few apples and some bread, she felt pretty safe to say that it wasn’t a hallucination. She felt like she should freak out, after all she could hear Quincy’s rapid breathing behind her, along with whispered questions of disbelief but the fact that some foxes could talk settled deeply in her heart, like the fact that some boys (like Quincy) wore make-up or some girls (like Aislinn) believed in tarot. She bent down, out stretching her hand. She read once that in order to get a dog to like you, you had to let it smell you. She wasn’t sure if the same thing would be said for a talking fox but it did push its head into her hand so she figured it was close enough.

“Hello there,” She whispered softly. The fox looked up at her with orange eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as it spoke again. It sounded young, high-pitched, almost like a child.

“You five have travelled far, but you have so much further to go. Come! Follow me! The Elements are gathering and wish to see you.” The fox bounded off, then looked back at them, twiching its tail.

“This is crazy, we can’t do this.” Suzy broke the silence that had partially fell, her drawl trailing behind her thoughts.

Calli shrugged, “Well, do you want to waste time wondering how it’s possible or do you want to figure out where we are?”

“Both? I feel like both will be very ahuh, helpful.” Quincy spoke now, running his fingers through his hair.

“Look, okay none of us understand this, but either we freak out, or we try to understand what’s going on and quite frankly, I think I’ve had enough freaking out for a lifetime, thank you very much. I’m going to follow him. Y’all can stay here if you want.” Callidia crossed her arms, making no motion to leave. She became a de-facto leader in the winter time, when their food bags would get low and she hoped that the trust that position brought would let them follow her. She didn’t want to go through whatever the forest brought alone.

Quincy, Aislinn and Suzy shared a glance of equal concern. Jason stood a little straighter and grinned, “I’m going to follow you, sweetheart. I trust you.”

“Any other complaints?” Calli cocked her head, looking each of her friends in the eyes in turn. “Then let’s go.”

The people the fox took them to professed to be Gods. Calli had a hard time believing that, until she saw a man rise from the earth and a woman fall from the sky, landing perfectly. She backed away from them, closer to the fire. They were impossible beings, with hair that seemed to move of its own accord, hair not made of keratin but with their respective elements. The woman who fell from the sky chose Aislinn, sweet Aislinn with her habit of staring off into space and talking about things that could not be. The man who rose from the earth chose anxious Quincy. One with hair of water chose her beloved Jason. Calli didn’t see who chose Suzy.  It didn’t seem that there was to be anyone for her. She backed away, closer and closer to the fire.

Then she stopped. She had run into something solid and it felt like a scene out of an old horror movie as she turned her head. A man stood there where before there had been nothing but the hot flames.  He laughed cruelly, until he saw the fear in her eyes and the way her shoulders rose to her ears and his laughter died off. “Hey now, it’s alright. Just a prank, my dear, just a prank.”

She stepped away to appraise him thoroughly. His hair was made of fire, though she wasn’t certain if that was because he had seemingly just stepped from it or if it was a personal aspect. Her throat tightened at the thought that this would be her - she hadn’t even realized what they had been chosen for.

They were Gods and they were the Elements and they were going to raise them to ascend.

The man who took her in told her to call him Jayvin, though his subjects called him the Lord of Fire. She liked knowing his true name, it made her feel just a bit safer in this foreign element, strange in more than a few ways. He noticed her discomfort around the open flames, and so moved her bedroom further away from the central chambers and higher up, where there was more smoke and ash, but less live fire without her even having to ask. He didn’t seem to be a harsh or cruel man, but for the first few nights when she moved in she stayed awake, still and staring up at the ceiling so she would be ready to defend herself if need be.

Time passed oddly in that world, and she wasn’t sure if she had been there days or weeks or months or years. She didn’t know when she last saw the Chugs, and she missed them but she knew they were most likely off in their own adventures, finding their place in this strange new world.  She studied history of the world because she loved learning. That would’ve been a great surprise to any who knew her in her old life but there was none of that competitive hierarchy that made each lesson a game of memory, not of comprehension. Each day was paced exactly how she needed it. She learnt of the foxes and the dragons and the other creatures that fell under the Lord Fire’s commands.  Communications between her and Jayvin were few. He was far busier than she was, though he did try to spend at least dinner with her.

“Soon,” He said each night, “soon I think you’ll be ready to learn magic.” That seemed far more impressive to her than learning of how many wars the Elements had gotten into over their respective times. There had been ten cycles of Elements, and hers was to be the eleventh - a holy number by Jayvin’s old books. It made her feel luckier about the whole affair.

He took her to a razing one long day. An entire length of forest was found to be hazardous, quite possibly cursed. The only one hundred percent remedy to either of those was a complete burning. He left her on a hill, close enough to see what was happening, but not so close that she was in danger of being burned, though he warded the hill, just in case. Once the boundaries were set and the fire was started, Jayvin walked up the hill and sat next to her. They were quiet for a long while, just watching the blaze, the grass turning bright then a dead black.

“This is one of my least favorite parts of it.” Jayvin said softly. “The destruction.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“Because otherwise this land would be inhabitable. With each razing, comes the chance for life to renew again, for potential to blossom. That’s why Rev doesn’t despise me each time I must destroy part of his kingdom.”

Callidia nodded, that seemed honorable enough. “Am I going to have to do that one day?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

The flames turned blue, reached their apex. It now had nowhere else to spread but back into itself. Soon it would be out, destroying itself as it had destroyed the trees that’d grown in that cursed ground. She shuddered, tried to act like her throat wasn’t closing up. She didn’t want to be the kind of person to do that, even if it were necessary. It seemed so sad.

“Here now,” Jayvin drew her attention away from the fire burning miles away to one in the palms of his hands. “I wouldn’t have survived so long as an Element if it were all razing and doom and gloom.” He seemed to form a butterfly out of the fire in his hands, carefully pushing it into open air. It floated there, streaming auburn flame. It reminded Calli of the Monarch butterfly she’d seen once on a hot summer day.

“Can you teach me how to do that?” She asked, eyes wide. She followed each amber spout.

“When you’re ready, of course.”

“Will I ever be?”

“I guess we’ll have to see.” Jayvin smiled lightly,  “I think you will be. Tomorrow, maybe, or the day after.”

She pulled her legs up to her, hiding a grin. He was annoying, surely he knew relaxing around the fire wasn’t an option for her but.. maybe, maybe she’d get used to it. Fire was destruction, but it was also creation and renewal. It was burnt houses and growing leafs and it seemed to her it was the first family she ever knew.

[p3-lies-here]

Charmed Opinions

Okay, so I’ve been rewatching some Charmed recently, and I kind of want to voice my opinions on some things because… well, why not? This is Tumblr, and that’s what Tumblr is for.  

I’m gonna try to divide this little essay up into headings like “stories I wish were told” and “my thoughts on (insert topic here)” just to make it easier to follow. Starting with:

My Thoughts on Cole Turner and Chris Halliwell

So, the reason I’m picking on these two characters specifically is because they are my two very favorite characters, aside from the sisters. I’ve got a lot to say about their potential and what could’ve/should’ve been done with them. Let’s start with Chris.

Chris Halliwell

I think it’s safe to say that Chris is a fairly beloved character amongst the fandom, which is no surprise. He was a brilliant addition to the cast. Every bit of Chris Halliwell, from the actor to his interactions with the rest of the cast, made him undoubtedly memorable. There were just a few things involving his character that I would have enjoyed seeing.

While I don’t think Chris should’ve been on the show for longer than a season, it does feel like his time on Charmed was cut short. It could be that a lot of his episodes put him into a Whitelighter role, which wasn’t what the majority of his character was about. Rather than episodes of him being a sort of background piece, it could’ve been nice to have Chris’s role be more restricted to his mission of saving Wyatt. However, seeing him struggle to maintain his cover while also acting as the Whitelighter for the Charmed Ones is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. Still, I wish we’d had more time with him.

Namely, after the entire family had found out Chris’s secret of being Piper and Leo’s son. It would’ve been amazing to see Chris spend more time with Piper or hash out his differences with Leo or even just hang out with his aunts. Although, I do understand that this probably wasn’t written in for lack of time in the season, or maybe it was excluded so we didn’t receive too much information about the future. Nonetheless, I wish we’d seen Chris interact more with his family.

On the topic of the future, it would’ve been nice to see more glimpses of it. We got some nice flashbacks in “Chris-Crossed,” but those memories were isolated to Chris since the episode was focused on him. It would’ve been cool to see a broader scope of what the world became without Paige, Phoebe, and Piper there to save it. On that note, I really wish we’d gotten more of Chris and Wyatt being enemies. Maybe Chris could’ve gone back to the future for an episode to see if it changed, or Wyatt could’ve come back to keep Chris from saving him. Something like that would’ve been amazing. Well, that’s enough on Chris. I think it’s time we move on.

Cole Turner

Cole was probably the best decision this show ever made (give or take bringing Paige into the mix). The chemistry this man had with each and every character was amazing. I feel like most people in the fandom either love or hate Cole, and if they hate him, it usually has something to do with the fact that they don’t like his relationship with Phoebe. If that’s you, you’re not going to enjoy this section, so… maybe skip?

I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s ridiculous how well Cole fit into the show. It’s naturally a combination of great acting and great writing, but seriously. Not only with the sisters, but with Leo and Darryl as well. I’ve said this probably a thousand times by now, but it’s not difficult to picture Cole in a relationship with any of the Charmed Ones. Honestly, just picture it for a second:

If Cole had been with Prue, it would’ve been constant disagreements, all the time. The strong-willed nature of both of them would frequently bring them to a boiling point, often compromising whatever mission they were currently working on. But when they weren’t fighting, they were saving people. Constantly. It was the one thing that kept them together. A power couple for the history books.

If it’d been Piper, it would involve Piper worrying over Cole’s safety and not being afraid to kick a little ass to save his. Her nurturing nature would rival his risk-taking nature in the best way. There’d be a lot of compromises and a lot of discussions about how to make it all work, a Charmed One and a demon. She’d make the potions and he’d tell her what battle they’d be fighting that day. At the end of the day, they’d just be happy to have a quiet moment.

Now, Paige and Cole… well, that’d be nonstop magic. Paige would learn something new and be so excited to tell Cole about it. Cole would take her to the Underworld to kill demons. They’d talk about everything from Paige’s job to the rush Cole gets when he takes down a demon. There would never be a still moment or a dull day. All the time they’d be seeking out some adventure together.

But I didn’t come here to talk about alternate timelines where these things could’ve been possible. I came here to talk about the way Cole’s story ended.

All in all, I understand why the writers opted to end Cole’s story the way it started—with him being evil—but I still have a fire in me when it comes to Phoebe and Cole. I adore Coop. I think Phoebe, the girl who falls in love far too easily, ending up with a Cupid is very poetic. But it didn’t seem much like a whirlwind romance to me. I’m so happy that Phoebe found a life with someone, but I don’t think that would’ve been Coop if Cole had never been taken over by the Source.

I’ve always felt that Cole was done a real injustice toward the end of his time on the show. Phoebe completely stopped sympathizing with him, which is completely unlike her character. Hell, Paige sympathized with him more than Phoebe did in season 5. Not to mention, a lot of the actions Cole carried out during his time as the Source were compelled by the original Source. So, a lot of that time wasn’t entirely Cole’s fault. It’s was completely possible for Cole to be redeemed in season 5 so that he and Phoebe could end up together, or at the very least, so that he could die with dignity. I do get that the writers were trying to bring it full circle, but what they ended up doing to Cole’s character was a real shame.

Paige Matthews’ Story

A big thing I will forever be bitter about is the way Paige’s character was downsized in comparison to the other three sisters. Sure, she didn’t grow up with Piper and Phoebe, but that shouldn’t have been an excuse not to further her character development. Paige never got the spotlight like Prue, Piper, and Phoebe did, and that’s very sad because her character had so much potential. The focal plots she did have where usually limited to an episode, unlike the other three sisters’ series long plots.

Prue was typically a main focus for a number of reasons: she was the strongest, she was the most stubborn (thus the most likely to put herself into dangerous situations), and she was the oldest. That lent itself to storylines involving Patty (as Prue remembered her the best) or storylines involving new characters (as she was the overly protective older sister) or, really, any plot they could’ve written.

Piper always had Leo, from the jump, because Piper’s underlying characteristic is that of a nurturer. So, she always had a place in the story for nurturing her relationship or her children or her family.

Phoebe had her troubles with love, which seemed to push her to the front of every storyline, no matter what it was. Her relationships constantly put her in the spotlight because she either had forbidden loves (like with Cole) or she had complicated loves (like with Jason). Beyond that, due to her lack of active powers, Phoebe was often the character throwing out ideas or plans. She wasn’t ever a background cog in the system.

But, for some reason, Paige never got an overarching plot like this. The closest she ever came was in season 8 when she met Henry, and that wasn’t even an entire season’s worth of story. I’ve seen people mention that she could’ve had an issue with her returning drinking problem. I think it would’ve been cool to actually see her be a Whitelighter rather than just hear about it, maybe even seeing more of her relationship to the supernatural world and how she worked with them (like the leprechauns). Her role at Magic School would’ve also been interesting. Really anything would’ve sufficed.

This isn’t to say that I’m angry about Prue, Piper, and Phoebe having series long storylines, I’m just angry that Paige didn’t get at least one to go along with her sisters’. It just feels like wasted potential of a really strong character.

Goddesses

While we’re on the topic of Paige, let discuss my feelings about the goddess that was chosen for her in “Oh My Goddess.”

I… don’t get it. Like, I want to… and I’ve tried to… but I don’t get it.

I don’t know much about Greek mythology, so I won’t pretend that I do, but the Goddess of War? Phoebe and Piper’s goddesses make sense, and I basically explained why in the above section, but Paige’s? Paige is half-pacifist! And when has she ever gotten into a hand-to-hand fight, aside from the times she absolutely had to? I assume they stuck her with the Goddess of War because of the powers they could elicit from that to supplement the episode. Although, Piper’s powers were the ones shown the most as well as the ones used to take down the Titans, and Phoebe’s powers were hardly used at all, so there’s another reason Goddess of War makes zero sense for Paige.

Might I put forth the Goddess of Retribution or the Goddess of Youth for Paige? The former makes a certain amount of sense because of Paige’s passion for righting the wrongs done by others (which can be seen often during her job as a social worker), and the second makes sense because Paige is a beacon of liveliness and fun. I don’t know how either of these would translate into powers, but I imagine the first one’s powers would be similar to the Goddess of War’s. All in all, I think they wanted to use “popular” goddesses for the sisters. I just think the one Paige got stuck with doesn’t fit. Maybe it does for Prue, though…

Meetings I Wish Would’ve Happened

This is going to be a short list, but there were a few characters I always imagined getting to meet that never got to because their stints on the show didn’t overlap.

Paige and Prue – I mean, of course, right? I personally don’t think Prue would’ve accepted Paige right away. In fact, I think she would’ve been slower to accept her than Piper was (although, if Prue hadn’t died and the show had become about four sisters, Piper probably would’ve accepted her readily). It probably would’ve been similar to Phoebe and Prue’s relationship in season 1. However, Prue would’ve eventually warmed up to her, and probably would’ve taken Paige under her wing. It’s honestly really difficult for me to imagine, but I will forever be sad that they didn’t get to meet (on the show, at least; I don’t read the comics).

Chris and Cole – Don’t ask, I just love thinking about the chemistry they’d have together. I’m, of course, talking about future Chris. Now, baby Chris…

Cole and Piper’s sons – Obviously I wouldn’t want evil-demon-power-grab-bag-crazy-douche-Cole to have any kind of contact with Piper’s babies, but good-guy-Cole would’ve looked so cute holding his little nephews-in-law.

Prue and Chris – Again, this is another one I can’t really explain. I just love to think about Prue teaching her nephew to properly use the power they share. Or even Chris summoning Prue in the future to learn from her.

If you couldn’t tell by this list, I’m mad that Prue wasn’t a part of the series finale. I don’t know what was going on with the people involved at the time, but they should’ve made it happen somehow.

Relationships I Love

This’ll be another short list. There were just a few relationships I wanted to highlight my love for. And I’m gonna keep couples out of it because those are obvious (i.e. no Prue and Andy, no Piper and Leo, no Phoebe and Cole, no Paige and Henry).

Piper and Paige – This is another one of those things I’ve said a million times already. I especially love these two in season 4 when Paige is adjusting to being a witch a Piper is adjusting to Paige. I do wish we’d seen more of Piper assuring Paige that she didn’t expect her to be Prue, but their relationship was always amazing to me.

Paige and Chris – No doubt, this is my favorite Chris + another character combination. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “What! What about Chris and Piper or Chris and Phoebe? Chris and Leo!” Look, I’m sorry, but I just adore the way Paige interacts with Chris. There was a mention in “Spin City” that Chris and Paige had a strong relationship in the future, and I wish we’d gotten to see it. I imagine that Phoebe is the go-to aunt for Wyatt and Paige is the go-to aunt for Chris, and maybe Melinda is strictly a mama’s/daddy’s girl? Paige and Chris make a lot of sense, not only because of their blood, but because of their inferiority complexes with their older siblings. I imagine they bond over a lot of things. It’s just super cute, okay!

Cole and Piper – It’s hard to isolate which sister relationship with Cole is my favorite, but I think I’ve got to choose Piper. She’s like the perfect combination of Paige and Prue’s sass toward Cole and Phoebe’s respect of Cole. It makes for some awesome interactions, I’m telling you.

Stories I Wish Had Been Told

Oh man, I could talk about this for the rest of my life. So, I’m just going to talk about one specific story I wish we’d seen play out. Well… we did see it play out… but not the way I wanted it to.

So, here’s my idea: a power swap between, either Piper and Paige, or Piper, Paige, and Phoebe (in which Piper gets Phoebe’s powers, Phoebe gets Paige’s, and Paige gets Piper’s).

The reason I’m drawn to the first option is because Piper and Paige are my two favorite sisters, but we’ve seen Piper with Whitelighter abilities, so it wouldn’t be much different on her end.

That’s why I propose a swap between all three sisters. I think it would be amazing to see Piper having premonitions, Phoebe orbing, and Paige blowing shit up. It happened with Phoebe and Prue as well as Piper and Leo, and I think it was referred to as a “supernatural Freaky Friday.”

Conclusion

Okay, to conclude this massive wall-of-words post, I just want to say I love this show. At the end of the day, it can do no wrong in my book. I invite everyone that took the time to read this to tell me your opinions on my opinions, or even just send me some opinions of your own. I love discussing the things I love, and Charmed is definitely one of those things.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and have a lovely day!

[anothernonversation]

Believe me, I have met several people who think Ron deserves at least the main girl, because he’s constantly overshadowed by Harry. I wouldn’t have mentioned it out of the blue.

As for Harry never expressing any romantic feelings for Hermione, why wouldn’t they make sense? They have A LOT of potential. They are both equals, they have similar backgrounds, they compliment each other perfectly and most of all – their relationship is grounded in mutual respect (which is the most important factor), trust and understanding. Those are things that sustain a life-long relationship. Ron never showed any sign of liking Hermione as more than a friend, either, unless constant, baseless bickering can be counted as romance. That kind of a relationship is going to end in tears. Harry and Hermione’s relationship is SO much deeper than that.

And Harry says “he liked Hermione very much, but she wasn’t just the same as Ron.” He never says he likes Ron more. Or that Hermione is not as good as Ron. He likes both of them in different ways. And he was a 14-year-old boy at that time, of course he wouldn’t prefer listening to Hermione jabber about books and spells all day long over Quidditch discussions (or the like) with Ron. If Ron had been chosen as a Triwizard Champion, he wouldn’t have liked listening to Hermione either, for that matter.

It’s really surprising how the probability of Harry having enough respect for Hermione for him to be at ease with other boys she goes out with never occurs to some people; instead, inconsequential jealousies, fights over trivial things are apparently more romantic.

In the entirety of the series, Harry only tried to comfort a total of five people. When Hermione was upset, he at least wanted to reach out and comfort her. But he didn’t know how to, owing to his upbringing. And in DH, when Ron left, Harry���s first instinct was to ensure that Hermione was warm. He could have just gone to sleep, but no, he gave her Ron’s blankets. He made sure they were protected. He observed her enough to realise that she was trying to wait, to see if Ron was going to return. He was looking at the Marauders’ Map to see if Ron had gone to Hogwarts, but then he found Ginny’s name. He was her ex-boyfriend then, so obviously he would want to know how if she was well.

There are many instances where Harry and Hermione are enjoying themselves with each other. Harry was ‘happy’ when Mrs Weasley told him Hermione was there at the Burrow as well. They talked ‘amicably’ about the Ministry when Ron was busy snogging Lavender. Their speculations about the Pince/Filch romance.

And please, Harry never lied to Hermione. He was the most open with his feelings in front of her. The only time he cried openly in the books, it was at Godric’s Hollow and in front of her. She was the one who knew him well enough to find him at Grimmauld Place (Christmas in Book 5) and coax him out of that room and make him talk to them. Throughout OOTP, they are like partners. In the DOM, he communicates with her. The split up into two, JKR could’ve put Harry, Ron and Hermione together. But no, she put Harry, Ron and Neville together. She could’ve put Ron, Hermione and Neville and Harry, Ginny and Luna together. But she didn’t.

Hermione likes challenges and arguments, yes, but not over petty things like cats and international Quidditch seekers. Ron could never challenge her intellectually. He wouldn’t even want to. In fact, when Harry and Hermione fought over the Prince's book in HBP (one of the only times they had a disagreement), Hermione actually went on to research about the Prince's identity. That's a proper intellectual argument, a civilised debate. Hermione challenged Harry. She thought he'd be Prefect in their fifth year, and Harry actually dreaded the thought of Hermione finding out he'd gotten a T in his OWLs.

Even if we consider the ‘I love her like a sister’ moment, there are so many reasons to ship Harmony. Like I said, they had a lot of potential, they were very good friends, and they could have become a very good couple as well. One with a much deeper bond that wasn’t based on petty bickering and jealousies. Quite honestly, JKR’s whole story was going that way, even if she didn’t realise it.

If Harmony makes zero sense, how do you explain all the moments they share in the books? The “I declare you bonded for life” moment during the wedding? That they rode on a hippogriff -- the symbol of love -- together? That she literally gave up her only family (possibly forever) to help her best friend on a mission that could result in death? That when nothing could make Harry shut Voldemort out of his mind, her being in pain was the one that finally did the trick (while I  would be touched if my friend was bawling over me being in pain, Ron didn’t really do anything constructive that would actually save her life, did he?)? There are so many of them, honestly. And JKR couldn’t have added them just like that. Romione with all its completely baseless quarreling and fighting and Ron belittling Hermione's passions makes sense, of course Harmony does too. It’s one of the most realistic ships in HP. 

(This discussion wasn’t about Harmony in the first place, but oh well.)

Well, Petunia, Molly and Narcissa all loved their children in pretty much the same way. Petunia tried to protect Dudley from the Weasleys (in beginning of GOF), Molly killed Bellatrix to protect her daughter, and Narcissa lied to the Dark Lord. It wouldn’t feel weird at all. Please.

I mean, it’s okay to be upset for Ron because he’s always the second best and shit.

But Hermione is not a trophy.

She doesn’t exist just to make Ron stop feeling sorry for himself, and it would be really cool if the fandom stopped treating her like that.