#I wrote this instead of writing my mid term

[victoriansecret]

Servants and Upward Mobility

This is focused on paid servants in England in the mid-late 18th century. One thing I find fascinating about the structure of domestic service roles was the existence of what essentially we might call a career ladder today. It was not uncommon for a servant to start their career near the bottom of the hierarchy as, say, a boot boy who cleans the shoes and boots of the household, or the scullery maid who does all the dirty kitchen work like scrubbing iron cooking vessels or plucking chickens, but progressively move up the list to better positions.

Part of why this was the case was that it was typical in England to hire servants for one year terms at a time. Often they'd be hired at festivals on the quarter days of the year, which as part of the festivities would often include what today we'd call a job fair. For some reason, Michaelmas (September 29) seems to be the most common as far as I can tell. I had never really thought about why that might be until I started planning this post, and I now wonder if it might have something to do with that being right around when harvest time usually comes in England. I could easily imagine people, especially young people, being on the cusp of another labourious harvest and thinking that maybe they could find another job instead. Related tangent: There are a number of remarks in the period that servants from the northern parts of England were considered to be much more respectful than servants from more populated, urban areas. Those communities were (at least considered to be) a lot stricter about remembering one's place and respecting your social 'betters', and their behaviour as servants was believed to reflect that. Some people would actively have their agents look to hire people from those rural areas, and apparently it was easy to attract potential employees: there are a number of remarks about how when a fancy carriage would drive through a small town, with the fancily-liveried footmen riding on the back, it would bring young people to stare in awe and want to be part of that. Which as someone whose interest in domestic service started in part because of my obsession with livery, I can understand. Anyway, back to the main point: because they often served one-year terms, there was an annual chance for both parties - the servant and the served - to review and determine how to move forward. A servant who was favoured might negotiate for a new position in the household, at least one step higher on the ladder (if not more), and they had leverage because they could leave the field entirely or possibly go off to a new household and find a higher position there. There was also a practice of asking for your master or mistress to provide a "character", essentially what we would today call a reference: a letter to show potential employers detailing their behaviour and skill in their role. Certainly there were times that some employers refused to give a good character, and sometimes that was explicitly because they wanted to keep the servant because they were a valuable asset to their household, but it was considered part of the obligation of the master class to be honest in these.

And it is not at all uncommon to find people who have served many different people/households throughout their career. The most I have seen is 28, although that's slightly misleading: that was a man who decided he wanted to travel, so hired himself to gentleman going on journeys for the duration of the trips, many of which were only a couple months. (The book he published, which he wrote about his travels and the "exotic" places and people he encountered, is interesting, and for my purposes super helpful because he turned out to be a narcissist and wrote a lot about himself, including his career as a servant. It's the only quasi-memoir of a paid servant from this time I am aware of. I might write a post about it/him sometime. I digress.) [continued in next post]

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

2024 Writing Year in Review!

Thanks @commander-krios ! I tag… @darkurgetrash @redroomroaving and @purpleasters-inseptember (nvm RED YOU GOT ME FIRST. How dare you! ;) @forget-me-maybe I’m throwing you a tag instead.)

Here we go!

Words posted: 157,651

Words unposted: 5,054 (...approximately, it's hard to count bits that I think might get ripped up and rearranged!)

Total word count: 162,605

Fandoms: Barring a teeny bit of work on an Ambition: A Minuet in Power WIP, BG3 has occupied my days.

Highest Kudos: Planar Tears, at 247 kudos.

Highest One-Shot Hits: Laced Close, my Rolan x Steel Weave Tav corsetry one-shot, at 1,328 hits. You little freaks. He would look amazing tight-laced and moaning about it <3

New things I tried: Scrivener! (Excellent, never going back. Especially good for multi-chapters). Trying different voices and styles. Writing prompts (and some of them have inspired utterly delicious filth, sweetness, or both, so thank you!). Writing sprints (banging). Proper outlining (couldn’t have done this much of Planar Tears without it).

Looking back, it seems like this year was pretty successful in terms of new writing habits I tried!

Fic I took the most time on: Planar Tears. I started at the end of January, and (hilariously) thought I’d be done by October. We’re at the 70% mark now! At a conservative estimate, I’ll say I’ve spent at least 250 hours on it… but the truth is definitely far higher.

Fic I took the least time on:

Short Shorts (And Cold Beer) came to me in a vision and took approximately 3.5-4 hours to write and edit. Same for Nailed! I’m also very proud of both of those fics, which is cool. Sometimes lightning strikes and you just have to sit down and dash* out those words (and credit to Barb for providing the lightning for Nailed!)

* “dashed out” for me is a top speed of 500–600 words written in an hour. I’m a tortoise compared to some on here!

Favourite thing I wrote?

It has to be Planar Tears <3

Favourite Fics I read this year?

I’ve read and rec’d some great fics this year, but I’ll keep it to a top three!

The Northern Bastards series by @graysparrowao3 is just fantastic filth. (Aradin x Rugan, you will love them and you will hate them. As it should be!)

I loved all of the other entries in Volo’s Erotic Library, but my special shout-outs have to go to @darkurgetrash for ruining my life (negative, severe internal pain) with “Discord Daddy Rolan”, @sav-not-tav and her orb-linered Lorroakan x Tav version of My Immortal, and @littlemisscactus 's absolutely heinous Strange Ox x Tav yaoi (kyaaaaaa?!).

And finally, the omelurg trilogy (starting with research methodologies) by weathered_law is just god-tier. Beautifully smutty and absolutely thrumming with affection for these mushroom nerds. It’s wonderful.

writing goals for 2025:

Finish Planar Tears by mid-June! I am feeling the pressure of wrapping up all these plot threads nicely, but I also know it's going to be the most rewarding part of an already very rewarding project, so I'm determined to make it sing.

Publish Fingering the Fist by the end of January, and Minthara x Gale by the end of February.

Return to my original novel now my skills are stronger and the ideas have fermented a bit.

Write freakier, filthier, and hopefully better. I’m always on a quest to improve my skills; if you recommend any great craft books/blogs/videos I'll gladly read them!

new works for 2025:

The omega!Rolan/f!alpha!Tav idea from Barb has been brewing for ages and I had some great thoughts whilst chatting to @ra-scheln about it, so that’s definitely coming at some point. (Once I’ve cleared my other oneshots from the above goals!)

I’m pretty committed to writing a Catrin-POV one- or two-shot I think! I want to write more smut than we have time for in Planar Tears, and I have a pushy-sub-Rolan/top-drop Catrin idea I’d like to explore where he oversteps her boundaries and inveigles her into doing something that he thinks is hot but she thinks is dangerous. I love exploring kink communication and conflict, what’s new ;)

Lennie! Poor Lennie! I have tragically neglected her, but the ideas have been stewing and I really want to get them down. So expect awkward car sex and another steamy spanking soon. <3 (I also need to make an OC reference so I can get some art of her picking Rolan up like the weightlifting hottie she is).

(This whole section is really an ode to the way a good idea will age until it’s ripe enough to write. I love those, because I often find when you DO sit down to write them, they come out quickly, and I can't wait to bash them out once my current queue is done!)

[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

Shoto's First Kiss Timeline? Idk let's plot it out together

Gif Caption: Me and Shoto sitting together on the train, vibing. 💕

Hi All!!

If you're a fan of the Shoto's First Kiss series, Chapter 5 dropped at like 3:30 am EST this morning because I am an absolute HEATHEN and decided to have a late night/early morning editing session for 3 hours before posting. This was fun because I decided to add the whole Lisa Frank phone background scene for kicks and add a little more build up to the smut scene (I love a slowish burn...what can I say!?).

@brie-is-cheesy had some great questions in the comments of Chapter 5, I'm going to post it below and answer the best I can! I don't have a full answer to everything and I'm taking some ✨creative liberties ✨ here and there but lets see if I can clear some things up for my lovely readers!

Hiiiii, totally loved it; I was wondering when this is set? Like the timeline, I just got confused I'll leave the list of confusing things about the timeline,, I wrote about how much I love this in my reblog cuz this is awesome!! -since bnha is set in the mid to late 2100s I was wondering if the older songs they're listening to will include songs that are relatively new for us as of now? -when does this occur? Like you mentioned they're in their first year, and its after they've moved into the dorms but it's nearing the summer of next year, so is it after the war arc, or after the events of bnha entirely? Just wanted to ask! Thank you for the update!!<3 - brie-is-cheesy

Okay these are FAB questions and honestly I can't give you a straight answer to all of them!

Here's the background: So this story started out as a one shot - this past year, Shoto hasn't been one of my main MHA favorites. When I started the Red Riot Unbreakable Heart blog, my goal was to focus on what I've been calling "My Big Three." This includes Kirishima (lol thus my username), Hakws, and Hitoshi Shinsou (I love me an emo man). I was sprinkling in smutty one shots here and there involving other characters (ex. BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala and Beneath the Bookshelves | BakuDeku ). Shoto was one of those random one offs that I was like, huh why not!? But then I published Shoto's First Kiss (Part One) this one shot about Reader x Shoto totally took off in a way I wasn't expecting. Shoto resonates a lot with you all and the more I started writing for him, the more I grew to love him. He's so complex and in need of love and care. He has so much capacity for love!! I wanted to explore that more and figure out how he would act in his first encounters with intimacy and relationships. So I kept posting chapters, and started plotting out this wild story!

Timeline: When I started writing the one shot, I wanted the story to ambiguously take place in the 2nd or 3rd year when the characters were a little older. I was kind of working it in an AU where the war had vaguely happened and was over but everyone is okay and no one was injured/died/had their quirk impacted by AFO. In the context of Shoto's First Kiss chapter one - the war doesn't matter (at least if you re-read it I hope you don't find any plot holes mentioning the war!?). Also I have tried to say "Class A" instead of "Class 1A" because as I wrote more chapters, I still hadn't figured out what year we are in here.

Now that we're world building and have a more fleshed out story, here's what I'm thinking. Bare with me, we are going to need to suspend some disbelief here and I might need to go back and make some tweaks to previous chapters to keep everything in line with this line of thinking. But let's say this:

Timeline: The timeline takes place in the character's 1st year. I just combed through this timeline of MHA that someone put together on Reddit. I'm thinking this likely takes place at the end of Term 1. Final exams are coming up, and the students have heard a little about the training camp. Most of the MHA events so far are probably cannon in my fic universe, unless otherwise mentioned. The great thing for me is - most of MHA is in the context of Izuku's experiences, so there's a lot of wiggle room in the timeline for what could be happening between Shoto x The Reader. I haven't decided if the current chapters take place before or after Shoto/Izuku/Ida's encounter with Stain, because I can see some interesting plot points coming from that. I'll think about it!! This may change, but for purposes of continuity I think this could work as I move forward with my plotting!

Age: All the characters are at least 16. Let's just roll with that and take some creative liberties here. I'm aging everyone up.

The Dorms: In this fic universe, I pictured the students moving into the dorms at the start of the year. Like the dorms are just part of the normal UA experience - for all intents and purposes it's a boarding school.

The Songs: Okay this is a really interesting idea! I am literally just putting in playlists of music I like right now, I didn't think much about modern music flowing into the story. Lol would Honenuki listen to BRAT!? Maybe. I love him and think of him as a sweet chill cinnamon roll of a dude, though. I think he would be scandalized by Guess Featuring Billie Eilish. Or maybe he'd love it. He'd def love Chappell Roan, though. Dude is a sloot for Red Wine Super Nova and I just know it!

The Vibe: @ all of my beloved readers - I realize that this story means a lot to people, and I love that!! Even though we explore complex and serious subject matter at times, this is still a goofy silly story that I write for fun! Please don't hold me to these ideas that I'm throwing out in a semi-public brainstorm. I am but a simple fanfic writer who churns out most of the Shoto pages at midnight after I work two jobs. Shoto's First Kiss is a project that I write purely for fun and to build community with other adult MHA fans. I'm not like going to publish this as a book or put it on Patr*on behind a paywall or something. So let's keep it light! That being said, I love interacting with everyone so if there are fun questions that you think would be interesting for me to answer in this story, let me know! I'm very open to hearing thoughts and considering new ideas here :)

Okay okay SORRY FOR SO MUCH INFO! Thanks again @brie-is-cheesy for being so thoughtful in your reading and for asking these great questions! This is def going to help me guide the next few chapters of the story as I plot things out and as we get a satisfying next chapter in The Party arc. I'm going to post this reply on my Master List so we can all keep track of it and come back to it easily if needed.

As always, thanks for reading!! Sending good vibes to all ☺️

XOXO,

Red Riot Unbreakable Heart ❤️

Shoto's First Kiss Series:

Part 1: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋

Part 2: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 2

Part 3: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 3

Part 4: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 4

Part 5: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 5

My Master List

Red's Recos: If you're looking for more fun smutty stories from my writing desk, I'll share 3 of my all time favorites from my Master List. These are all fairly long and have a lot of sexual tension/build up with some satisfying smut scenes:

How to Suck Your Best Friend’s D*ck 🍆💋

BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala

A Long, *Hard* Night with Eijiro Kirishima

[sealz888]

I saw your fallout headcanon post! So i gotta know ur thoughts on Dean Domino! (<- loves that bastard too much)

Thank you for the asks @porcelain-animatronic and anon! Apologises this took really long. I have two other asks (involving Hancock and Ahzrukahl) which'll hopefully be out soon. I've had a lot going on lately, so I appreciate your patience! A heads-up, I haven't personally played Dead Money, so I hope you can forgive me if it's canon conflicting. My dumbass wrote Christina, instead of Christine.

Dean Domino

I really like the head canon that Dean has beef with pre-war singers, I feel like he’s got major beef with Frank Sinatra.

He was a childhood prodigy. His talent was discovered at a young age by his mother, who made him sign up to a childhood talent TV show. He won and only skyrocketed from there, hence his ego.

At some point when he turned 14, he lost his fame and became, for lack of a better term, “washed out” and he fell into the background. His mother wasn’t too happy about this, so he ran away to Vegas, and he’d get by busking and later performing at mid-end clubs. 

That was until he got into hot water at 17 after he was caught with chems. This actually skyrocketed him to fame again. Everyone was booking him in.

A playboy for sure, he flirted with anyone to get his way. Especially when he met Vera Keys again to lure her into joining his heist. However, he actually didn’t sleep around unless he was in a relationship with them. His spark and skill in flirting died down, but he's trying to get it back.

Really pissed off about his hair loss, but is glad about how he kept his moustache. Once he got out of the Sierra Madre, he left and immediately went to find a wig. 

After which, he immediately went to the Tops to find a job. It was hard at first to get on the strip considering ghouls aren’t allowed in without humans, but assuming Mr House is still alive and recognises him or the NCR allows ghouls onto the strip, he eventually manages. Convincing people he is Dean Domino was the harder part. Tommy eventually relented and let him perform. Now exclusively performs there.

Christine Royce

Perfect childhood friends with Veronica. They’re friends to lovers. Romanced her by bringing her all sorts of junk she could disassemble and reassemble. 

Got along with Elijah, but Christine parents thought that they were just “”really, *really* close gal-pals.” Eventually they couldn’t deny it that their daughter was a lesbian was sort of came to terms of it. 

They did push the two to at least surrogate, at least were the most polite about it.

Christine would watch and listen to Veronica talk and talk about historical texts and engineering for hours and hours on end, falling in love with her more. 

She was always slightly suspicious of Elijah, despite Elijah’s politeness, he was always trying to drive the two apart once everything came out. 

When she was first assigned to track him down, she’d write letters to Veronica, but she never got them, unfortunately. Upon encountering the courier, the courier put two and two together and told her about Veronica. 

Veronica, upon hearing about Christine broke down into tears on the strip, a few steps away into the Lucky 38. Veronica was hysterical and getting comforted by Arcade and Lily. They had a chat that lasted for hours explaining everything. She found about Elijah (I hc to personally have him trapped in the vault.)

Unsure of what to do, Veronica wanted to track her down and get her to become a member of the Followers. At some point, Veronica figured out to radio communicate with her. While Christina had to use Morse code to communicate, she was over the moon. Eventually, with the help of Raul over the radio, she managed to get the Autodoc to her reconstruct her vocal cords. However, she is absolutely terrified of Autodocs still and claustrophobic.

A year later, they decided to get married over the radio, and it was a big event, being broadcasted in a few places in Freeside and throughout the Sierra Madre, even Dean Domino and Dog/God dropped by to send her a message congratulating them. As the courier knew the King, he performed “love me tender” at their wedding and Lily, along with help from Cass and other followers, made them wedding garments. I can see Veronica in a pretty dress while Christina is in a suit, however, she could also wear a dress too.

Veronica also informed the BOS of what happened to Elijah and Christina. Christina's parents were overjoyed that she was alive, but still sent their reluctant congratulations to the newly-weds. Some of their old comrades also sent them well wishes.

Dog/God

I don't have a whole lot, but they're one of my favourite mutants.

Dog often mistakes the courier as the Master due to the look in their eyes, their tone of voice is similar to the master too.

Dog/God managed to become one personality again thanks to the couriers help. While the group leaves, they discuss names, but doesn’t like any of those. The courier encourages the newly reborn mutant to think for himself and choose his own name.

He tries to settle down at various settlements, Novac, Freeside, Westside eventually hearing about Utobitha. After arriving, Neil, recognised him by the scar on his chest and confused that the two personalities became one. After a long convo and explanation, Neil recognised the courier and redirected him to Jacobstown. 

While at Jacobstown, many supermutants and nightkin remembered him, but he did not remember himself. It was a *long* week explaining what happened.  With the help of others, he names himself Alexander. 

Alexander, decided to help Jacobstown by supporting his fellow Nightkin and became a wandering trade. He reached out to other settlements and offered to exchange goods and open up trades

He never really saw or heard from the courier again after stopping by to wish Veronica and Christine well wishes.

[gingeragenda]

My 2024 fic i'm most proud of

As we're finishing out 2024, what is one thing from your writing this year that you're particularly proud of? And what is one fic you wrote that you would recommend for others to read?

Thanks for the tags @valar-did-me-wrong and @celebrimborsapron

So 2024 (well the last last three months of it!) have been a big deal for me in terms of writing again (I last finished and posted a fic in 2007 lol), and have been in a really horrible Autistic burnout/prolonged recovery for years BUT s2 of trop grabbed me by the throat and writing deranged smut has, perhaps ironically, made me feel something close to my ‘normal’ for the first time in a long time so really want to thank all the folks I’ve been getting to know on here lately, especially @whenimaunicorn

ANYWAY, the questions:

what is one thing from your writing this year that you're particularly proud of?

I’m so happy with how 🔥Anemoia🔥turned out, it’s my fave part of Dream a Little Dream and I’m particularly proud of the imagery I achieved in it

In fact I love it so much it spawned the Maidar in prequel nobody asked for! But I’m not recc’ing this as it’s so early days and I’m finding my feet with a longer-form thing

And what is one fic you wrote that you would recommend for others to read?

It’s taken me so long to respond since Valardidmewrong first tagged me because I guess I feel like I write some very niche stuff sometimes and it’s for who it’s for and read at your peril, don’t blame me if you don’t like it and always read the tags? lol

So instead of doing one I’ve picked out a few bits organised by your kink!

⛓️‍💥 Your kink is Halbrand choked by a collar and a cock:

An Insignificant Endeavour

🗣️ Your kink is listening to Sauron’s smutty gay podcast it’s called Admirable Anal whore :

Caged Chaper 2

🧝‍♀️ Your kink is Adar getting catfished by femme Sauron:

Caged Chapter 3

🍗 You just wanted Adar to fuck Gal on that table:

Freed Chapter 2

🍆 Your kink is Sauron coercing Adar in domming Galadriel aka you always wanted Adar to slap you with his cock

Freed Chapter 3

🧝‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧝‍♀️Your kink is chaotic F/M/M three way, featuring:

Gal holding Adar at knifepoint

Adar has to be tied up lest he f someone to death

mid-sex Maidar bickering/magically gagged Adar

hints that there are key gaps in Sauron’s prior sexual experience

Double penetration

Messed up power dynamics

Trifecta

🪦🕊️ Your kink is theatrical set piece in the Grand Guignol tradition following the hot and cold showers principle of alternating horror and comedy (and what is presented through Adar PoV as non con but the more I think about it the more sure I am that Mairon made the guillotine)

Spectacular

Tagging: @maironscrotchlessbreeches @ghostinthetumbchine @laurelonde if you haven’t been asked already

[charaznablescanontoyota]

prompt bingo fill -- "notebook" takes place between eps 8 and 9

the casino discotheque is brilliant and startling, so loud that al can still feel the music reverberating in his ribs when he and audrey stumble out onto the third floor landing. his eyes water as they readjust to the light; audrey makes a low, annoyed noise next to him as hers presumably do the same.

“food,” al suggests. his brain is still buzzing a little from the tequila shots, but years of sneaking into the fields or up onto granny’s roof to drink with ed and winry have taught him enough about how to avoid a hangover the next morning. 

“food,” audrey agrees.

like with shadow earlier in the evening, al trusts her to steer him towards whatever is good to eat–they end up with hot pretzels wrapped in paper and frozen drinks that audrey calls slushies. the syrup in them tastes more chemical than fruit-flavored, but al can still feel his body welcoming the sudden onslaught of sugar.

“you’ve had pretzels before,” audrey quizzes him, as they find a table to sit at. it’s closer to the quieter lounge, the one with the small stage and the jazz band, and a safe distance from the throbbing bass of the discotheque.

“of course i’ve had pretzels,” al says, a little amused. “we have bakeries.”

“listen, i almost flunked world history, i don’t know shit about what was invented in the 1910s. you have soda, right?”

“we have pop. ed drinks it, i don’t like it very much.”

“is it, like, the kind with cocaine still in it?” audrey leans forwards, eyebrows arched.

“i don’t think so,” al says. he frowns. “your soda pop had cocaine in it?”

audrey hums, and doesn’t answer the question. “can you alchemy food instead of cooking it? if you have the ingredients?”

“uh–yes and no,” al says. he takes a bite of his pretzel and swallows it, considering how to explain in terms audrey won’t write off as scientific gibberish. “there are alchemical circles for food. but you have to understand all the exact measurements of ingredients in whatever you’re making, and there’s no room to improvise or taste it in the middle. so you’re better off just cooking, unless you’re trying to show off.”

the explanation reminds him of the small notebook in his breast pocket; al takes it out and flips it to the last entry, the oversized snacks from the arts and crafts car. underneath, he prints everything new he’s eaten since. small shorthand annotations and symbols go next to each one, nearly incomprehensible unless you know what you’re looking at.

“what’s that?” audrey asks.

“food diary,” al says, mid-stroke on the word slushie.

“you write down everything you eat?” there’s a tiny flicker of judgment in her eyes. “why?”

“when i didn’t have a body, i couldn’t eat,” he says succinctly. audrey knows about the soul-bond and the suit of armor, so there’s no point in dancing around it. “i couldn’t remember what a lot of foods tasted like, and nobody was good at describing them to me. so i made a list of things i wanted to eat when i got my body back, and then i wrote down what they all tasted like. and then i…kept going.”

“oh,” audrey says. she’s quiet for a moment, then, “but you’re not gonna lose your body a second time, right?”

“it’d be pretty hard to,” al says, smiling wryly. he draws a little circle next to slushie–he wants to figure out what it’s made of. what that chemical, imitation-fruit component breaks down to. “but i do it just in case. is that strange?”

“i think strange is fine.”

“me too.” al flips the notebook shut. he slides his small nub of a pencil back into its place in the wire binding, and tucks the whole thing back into his pocket. “you know–my number, the number it started at was 250. exactly the grams of salt in the human body.”

he doesn’t want to explain how he knows that; it feels like it would ruin the moment. audrey doesn’t ask. instead, she takes a long sip of her slushie, her lips twitching into a small smile.

“how’s your salt content now?” she asks. the inside of her mouth is bright blue from the faux-fruit syrup.

al turns his hand over to check his palm. “better.”

[ninja-muse]

I need to start walking past used bookstores instead of into them…

Anyway, June was an all right reading month. I read some really good books, and some kind of poor ones, which is fairly normal, but I also didn't read as much as usual. This is a combination of having a few slow reads (Steampunk, Navola) and writing up a storm, neither of which is a bad thing. I am so glad to have written as much as I have this month. The end of the latest WIP is in sight!

Navola, by the way, is really good and if I'd been organized enough to take a photo of the ARC before I unhauled it, it would have gotten a dedicated review here. Think Renaissance Italy, low magic, ruthless politics, a boy coming of age, an unwanted destiny he has no choice but to accept, the trapped soul of a dragon… It's complex and twisted and detailed and layered, the sort of book you have to pay attention to and which will surprise you anyway. Highly recommended if you like George R.R. Martin or Robin Hobb or grimdark that's less about blood and battles and more about everyone being flawed and kind of awful.

This was also a month of ebooks for me, accidentally. I had a few library holds come in (and delayed one until next month because time), and I received not one but two e-ARCs, the second of which I'm working on right now. I also had one of those moments mid-month where I had no idea what to read so went for something radically different—a thriller about a forensic artist, mostly because it had been on my TBR for a bit and was available on Libby the day I needed a book.

And I reread Drums Along the Congo! Which I last read over 25 years ago so it was basically a new book to me. There's a lot of stuff I either missed or forgot the first time, but I was a kid who was reading it for the living dinosaurs rather than an adult reading for the journey and historical moment. I can't imagine the details about Congo in the 1980s would've made much of an impression. If you're into travel writing, it's one I'd recommend.

The third book off my TBR, A Bouquet From France, is that pretty marbled cover. (I nabbed it off my dad's unhaul pile mostly for that.) More interesting than the poems are some of the 1920s-era translation choices and the fact that the book has actual handcut deckle edges, like you can see where the knife went in off-center to cut the signatures open. Also Victor Hugo is introduced as one of France's best poets, with no mention that he might have also written some major novels.

In terms of my book haul for the month: one out-of-print comic book my work got on sale; one memoir a coworker was unhauling; two travel books that the "I've adulted so now I get a treat" used bookstore had in stock. One is the sequel/follow-up to one I hauled last month, so it's nice to have both. The other is excerpted letters by an English diplomat's wife from Constantinople in the early 1700s.* I successfully delayed a trip to the other tempting used bookstore until next month, so stayed tuned for that.

*Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. Awesome woman. Look her up.

And that's about it for this time around. I didn't do exciting cultural events or anything, just read and wrote a lot. How was your June?

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying - Django Wexler

Dani’s stuck in a time loop in a fantasy world. She’s supposed to be the Chosen One but that clearly not working. Time to switch sides for funsies…

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (bi woman), protagonist of colour

borrowed from work

Navola - Paolo Bacigalupi

Davico has always been aware of Navola’s politics and his banking family’s role in them, but also knows he’s unsuited to inherit that power. Unfortunately, in a city that breathes intrigue bowing out isn’t exactly an option. Out in July.

8.5/10

warning: violence, graphic injury, pseudo-incest

reading copy

A Bouquet From France - Wilfred Thorley, translator

A collection of French poetry from the 1100s to the 1920s.

7/10

off my TBR shelves

Steampunk - Ann and Jeff Vandermeer, editors

A collection of steampunk stories, old and new.

7/10

warning: misogyny, racism, eugenicists

off my TBR shelves

Running Close to the Wind - Alexandra Rowland

Avra, rubbish spy, finds himself on his ex’s pirate ship in possession of a deadly trade secret. Unfortunately, selling it to the highest bidder means working with a very sexy monk, and all manner of shenanigans.

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (multisexual), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (ungendered, achillean), major character with prosthetic eye, largely brown-skinned cast, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: frequent discussions of sex, cursing, animal death

library ebook

Every Time We Say Goodbye - Natalie Jenner

Vivien moves to Rome in the 1950s to work as a script doctor and possibly learn the true fate of her soldier fiancé.

6.5/10

Black American secondary characters, 🇨🇦

library ebook

The Face of Deception - Iris Johansen

Eve Duncan, world-class forensic artist, is drawn into a dangerous web when she takes a commission from a tech billionaire.

6.5/10

warning: animal death, murder

library ebook

The Black Bird of Chernobyl - Ann McMan

Lilah’s happily misanthropic life preparing bodies at her funeral home is upset when her father hires perky Sparkle for community outreach. Then Lilah goes viral… Out in July.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, sapphic), Black secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: death, grief

digital reading copy/won

Reread:

Drums Along the Congo - Rory Nugent

A naturalist travels deep into the African jungle in search of a legendary living dinosaur—or tries to. A lovely portrait of a time and place.

7.5/10

predominantly (Black) African cast

warning: animal death, brief mentions of Congo’s colonial brutalities

off my TBR shelves

Currently reading

The Dishonest Miss Take - Faye Murphy

Desperate to clear her name after a murder she didn't commit, a superpowered former villain stumbles onto a mystery—and a curious assassin. Out in September.

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

digital reading copy/won

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 8 + 1 Yearly total: 59 Queer books: 3 Authors of colour: 0 Books by women: 3 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 3 Books hauled: 4 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 0

January February March April May

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.

Edith Sitwell

I understand that this fan may have missed my previous response, but I'd like to clarify that there have been some surreal moments from SH’s fans and their comments. This moment doesn't change the essence of who they are. This is their way of talking with all emotions flying high, right? Although claims that this word was created by Diana Gabaldon and given to SH to use on his merchandise, this is not the case. The word Sassunach/Sassanach is not a made-up word and it is not the property of any one person. It has been in use for centuries and has roots in Gaelic and Scottish culture.

Sassunach/Sassanach simply means English person. Similarly, Albanach means Scottish person. Alba in Gaelic means Scotland, which was a language that the English referred to in ancient times due to the language they spoke. SH appropriated this word because he is an opportunistic man who will take advantage of what he can find to reach some end.

Lowland Scots and non-Gaelic speakers were also called sassunach. But in the 18th century, the Scots used the word due to their occupation of Scotland for hundreds of years. No matter what you think, no one in Outlander SH or DG has a legally legitimate title to the word Sassenach. Gaelic is not inherent to DG or SH. The Gaelic language and culture are an integral part of the nation's identity, and more than half of Scotland's Gaelic speakers live in the Highlands and Islands, connecting people for centuries SH used it word as a cultural appropriation he ignored the history and struggles of the culture from which he was taken. He is a lowland Scot and he doesn't speak the language. But, Don’t be surprised, after all, everything about him is made up.

Don’t forget, Gabaldon from New Mexico picked 18th century Scotland as a setting for her novel by accident after seeing an old episode of Doctor Who featuring the companion character Jamie Robert McCrimmon, (played by Frazer Hines) fictional character also known as Jamie, who fought in the Battle of Culloden fighting for Bonnie Prince Charles on 16th April 1746.

The earliest known use of the word Sassenach is in the mid-1700s. The earliest evidence for Sassenach is in the writing of Tobias Smollett, a Scottish novelist.

Tobias Smollett wrote in the novel, Humphrey Clinker (1771), ‘The Highlanders have no other name for the people of the Low Country, but Sassenagh or Saxons’. In modern Scotland, however, the Gaelic term has been adopted into general usage as sassenach, denoting something or someone English.

In DG’s original book, there’s the problematic use of the Scots word “Sassenach,” derived from the Gaelic word “Sasannach,” which does not mean “outlander” or “foreigner” — it only means an Englishman. In Gaelic the word is neutral, but in Scots, the word has a pejorative sense which can be offensive to English people. (I’m sorry but you can’t go into the issue without greater detail here, and post about this word with nonsense comments ) You must read about Scottish Gaelic history and culture. The word is only applied to the English, "Sassenach" not refers to any traveller not born in Scotland... in other words, has nothing to do with "outlander."

It is worth noting that Gaelic is not magical and, despite being Scottish, SH did not grow up speaking the language in the Highlands as many Scots do. Instead, he took the word and applied it to his brand, taking advantage of the fact that his fans see themselves as a ‘Sassenach’ (a fictional television character, that's idiotic). This tactic plays on women's emotions and allows SH to benefit quickly without making concessions. It might be a smart move of him, but some may see it as really questionable. Nice way for a 44-year-old man to shine and live supported by adult women 😳

It’s considered inappropriate for a man to rely on the support and attention of adult women. It's concerning to see SH's female customers blindly following buying expensive merchandise for decoration and praising him all year round. These individuals are often referred to as 'useful idiots' who mindlessly parrot comments without questioning or thinking critically.

I believe if someone chooses to take advantage of their fans, it's because their fans enjoy looking ridiculous and don't mind being laughed at. Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done about this. As the saying goes, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' I find it hard to believe that some of SH's female fans who don't have any Scottish ancestry, no Scottish blood running through their veins would want to pretend to be Scots 🙄

They are female clients who pay for SH’s services at private events, but it doesn't seem to have any positive impact on their lives. His only impact was leaving a scar on his forehead that he'll never forget while increasing his bank statement. These women, and rarely men, buy his expensive products just to flaunt them on social media in hopes of getting attention from the person they idolise. This behaviour is mostly seen in women interested in a middle-aged man. It's worth noting that SH doesn't even know his clients' names or even that they exist.

It sounds like you're not familiar with SH’s books. He hired Charlotte, 👻 a ghostwriter, to write Clanlands books and another ghostwriter to write Waypoints. It doesn't matter if other people have used ghostwriters, we are not arguing about them, this is specifically about SH.

By the way, the spy who dumped me? It was a fun comedy film but Brian Glazer had the idea of ​​working with female roles and decided to choose Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon, he did not choose SH (who was chosen by Lionsgate/Sony), as a spy who left no one behind, Well, Gillian Anderson and Justin Theroux were more important than him.

SH is not a bartender. He doesn't prepare his own recipes. Instead, he presents cocktails from real bartenders and fails to mention their creators, thereby taking credit for them. In this scenario, you are not offering any thoughtful reflection. If you don't want to be mistaken as an obsessive fan, you shouldn't behave like one. It's tiring to see such behaviour in adult women.

On the other hand, conventional alcohol brands do not need or use awards or medals as a distinctive feature, nor do they even use praise as a reason for being. Perhaps, the messages, brand attributes and market positioning are enough to win over the consumer. Very different from SH alcohol, which relies on women who have no idea how to tell whisky or gin apart to elevate and praise their idol in the marketplace.

So, It seems that you have not studied Scots Gaelic properly and have no idea about the history of Scotland. But if you've started learning Scots Gaelic, you can continue, but you should try harder. If you are a learner, it is always good practice to make this clear.

Never try to use jealousy as an excuse to open up the conversation… BAD IDEA. (Look at what happened to Leia… she kissed her brother!) By the way, no one likes mediocrity and settles for it.

Cheers :)

Posted 11th April 2024

[livlepretre]

not sure of this hasbeen asked before but how did you come with this fic? how much of it had you formulated before you started writing? how did the bigger picture come together?

oh this fic.

I don't know if this fic would exist if I hadn't moved to Europe in the middle of the height of my tvd hyper-fixation, such that when season 3 was airing I would wake up at 3 am to pirate the new episode literally as soon as it was available online. I did this when the reckoning aired, lost my everloving mind (I was already deep into klena), and woke up a couple of hours later for class with the idea literally crystal clear in my mind. like, I don't know if I could have come up with this if I hadn't woken up mid-sleep, watched the episode as though in a dream, in that weird liminal time of night, and then went back to sleep and let my subconscious churn that episode over some more. I have a massive love of canon-divergence, too, and so this was the immediate WHAT IF???? that sprung to mind. A lot of the dynamics are based on how TVD read to me in that frozen in amber moment of just after 3x05 aired.

The idea immediately seized me hard. I started writing the first chapter in a coffee shop on my way to school that morning, and spent the lecture furtively hand writing out the next few scenes. I couldn't get the mood I had in mind out fast enough. Most of chapter 1 is verbatim what I wrote that morning in 2011.

when I got back to my flat, I wrote an outline.

the extremely crazy thing is, even though the fic has MASSIVELY expanded from that time, it is... still mostly following that outline. Once the fic is finished, I plan to publish that outline because it's wild how much the overall arc is remaining true to the original idea.

I think I lost some steam that afternoon and decided to shelve the fic until I finished my wip (After the Fire, But Before the Flood). That ended up taking me a few more years to finish as finishing school/career took up most of my time.

And yet. I kept daydreaming about FE. I kept going back and thinking about it and expanding on it. I thought about Elena in exile. Elena losing her baby-- losing Tyler's baby. Elena and Rebekah in love. Klaus yearning and burning for her while he had done everything to lose her in the first place. I dreamed and I dreamed and I dreamed about it. Somehow, for 5 years, I never actually wrote any of it down, just kept daydreaming it and fleshing it out in my mind.

Finally in 2016 a fandom friend nudged me and nudged me and nudged me and convinced me to start publishing FE. I had no idea what I was actually in for in terms of the depth. I think my initial 20,000 estimate was based on the outline I wrote in 2011, and couldn't possibly take into account the depth of story I had developed by 2016.

I updated the outline, and started working.... and things would come up. I would realize, oh, Elena is really still in love with Stefan when this fic starts. That needs to be addressed. Oh. I can't bear to kill Tyler Lockwood off. I better come up with a good way for Elena to save him when things come to a head. And I want Elena and Klaus to have an arc together, and wouldn't it be convenient if that arc ends with her obtaining the gold dagger? So I invented the entire New Orleans arc for that one purpose. And certain things would occur to me-- like how Mikael would have been in league with Team Mystic Falls, because Damon would have woken him up still in 3x05, he just arrived a few minutes too late to save Elena. Or-- I would realize that the fic had grown so large in scope that characters like Elijah needed a definitive role in order for the story to be COMPLETE. Or, most of all-- that the ending I originally intended was just too bleak... so I decided, okay, let's still do that stuff, but instead of ending it there... let's see how Elena resolves that situation.

So, we are still following the outline, but I've done my best to add in arcs and bring in plot details as things occur to me/as readers point interesting things out/and as rereads make emergent themes clearer to me than they were when I started writing.

Writing installment based fiction is hard. There are definitely things I would change if I could-- for instance, I think the current arc would be several chapters shorter/more concise if I had finished writing it in 2020 when I first started it-- but moving cross country and have a baby who never slept plus various other life events put a big wrench in my writing for quite a while, and it was all I could do to update once or twice a year for a few years... but that stuff happens. I'm happy the story is getting out at all. That the vision I had all of those many, many years ago is emerging so faithfully.

[spacesymbol]

heyyyyy. crazy month and a half, am i right? 😅

my sincerest apologies for the truckload of reblogs.... plus even more sincere apologies if i reblogged a very old post of yours that you forgot about 😭

ive had those sitting in my drafts for a WHILE so that they wouldnt get drowned in my likes.... but i have some weird mental hangup about posting here without also posting a Life Update..... but i kept procrastinating actually writing a Life Update..... so here we are!!

anyways. that being said. LIFE UPDATE TIME!!!!! (no cut since theres actually some very important stuff in here)

first and somewhat foremost, i submitted SEVEN college applications exactly a month ago. for context, my entire applying list (as of right now) is only nine schools. and i procrastinated SO HARD on the application materials.... it was soooo bad. basically mid october to early november was the most stressed i have ever felt in recent memory 😁👍 and i coped with it soooo well, as i historically always do (sarcasm)

the fall play(s) also recently came and went!!! the rehearsal process wasnt that bad, it was moreso just anxiety provoking since i was constantly saying "yeah it (the show) will come together eventually" even when opening night was a few days away... but the show(s) did come together!! at least, my two scenes did. i honestly can't speak for anyone else, but my scenes both went fine during all three performances with minor errors, if any

although, the week of performances and the last few days of tech was so very brutal. i had to be in the theater until 8pm or later every single day of that week (november 18th to the 23rd), which meant i was in school for over twelve hours each school day. i had to put a lot of things on the backburner to focus on the show (and not losing my mind) that week, and schoolwork was one of them.... so i am currently once again in overdue assignments hell. my classes have been fine other than that though!!!

my mental, emotional, and physical health also definitely have been on the backburner for a WHILE now.... a wonderful example is how i havent seen my therapist in two months now, and for context, im supposed to see her once a week!!! so im clearly doing fine (sarcasm). its weird though, the play honestly wasnt that distressing for me, since i had already hit mental rock bottom earlier that month because of college applications

my physical health has also Not Been Good at all.... one of my scenes in the play (the gay one) involved a shit ton of stage falls.... and our stage is made of polished wood. we took all the necessary precautions to protect my bad knee (knee pads), but that didnt do much to prevent the ridiculous amount of bruising all over my body that i still have a week after the final show.....

eating has also been Bad. but i wont go into details about that 🫶 ive been able to keep having regular appointments with my dietitian, so genuinely dont worry about that. i will be fine!!

ive also been like. mentally checked out for a while, i guess. like i mentioned, ive been doing some research into dissociative disorders and symptoms to get more clarity on if im a system or not (which i do have an answer on btw), and i think the best term to describe it is depersonalization?

and uh. okay this is actually really important. about the system thing, i came to the conclusion after a LOT of research and self reflection that i do not think i am (or ever was) a plural system. i dont think i should post the entire esaay i wrote on how i came to this conclusion (because i dont think most of you want to read all that). but if any mutuals want, i am MORE than happy to dm the whole explanation, since i know it might raise some eyebrows that i suddenly dont identify that way anymore

however, the tldr is that im pretty sure i have dissociative amnesia instead, because i never once experienced amnesia between the personas that i thought were alters, and these personas were never really that separate from me, moreso extensions of me in terms of personality, if that makes sense. there were also some.... quirks of how my "system" operated that also made me suspicious, like how i was basically always frontstuck, and how my "frequent fronters" ALWAYS aligned with my interests at the time. i honestly think that i only arrived at the conclusion that i was a system in the first place because of the environment i was in at the time (the majority my friends at the time had the system realization and were talking about it), and the fact that no one ever really questioned me being one. which im NOT saying that i wish people had, since thats rightfully a very rude thing to do, but i definitely would have benefited from someone kindly calling all that into question, yknow?

the biggest takeaway though, should be that i didnt know until very recently. there is a world of difference between intentionally lying about being a system, and unknowingly being wrong about being a system. the MOMENT i started to suspect that i was wrong, i made it known here (in the previous Life Update) and on twitter, and i refrained from using any system terminology for myself until i came to a definitive conclusion, which i only did recently. additionally, i recently removed the system section from my pronouns dot cc, and my simplyplural account is still up, but obviously not in use

ummm. other personal updates.... im hopefully going to start legal and medical transition soon?? my stepsister (also trans) has been pushing my mom and stepdad for it as a result of the election, which sparks the conversation for me by extension

as you can probably tell by the majority of the recent reblogs, the release of season 2 reawakened my dormant arcane hyperfixation 😭 it somehow came back even stronger??? if any of you happen to remember my jayvik posting from november 2021, you deserve a spacesymbol elders discount....

what else..... oh um!!!! i had an awesome joe cool (snoopy) costume for halloween this year that i made extremely last minute :)

okay. okay!!!!!!! in terms of the future!!!! im on thanksgiving break right now until this tuesday and the break is Extremely welcome.... the spring musical (aka my final high school theater show) has already been announced, and its curtains, which should be exciting, but i dont have to think about that for a While....

in terms of like Immediately upcoming things, my schools robotics team has our first qualifier coming up so im gonna have to lock in on preparing for that soon.... for college stuff, i should be getting two decisions fairly soon (one from my early decision school and one from a rolling deadlines school), and i have two more applications for early january, but all i really have to do for them is finish writing their supplements..... so HOPEFULLY i should be slightly more active on here??? i feel like every time i say that i end up jinxing myself for inactivity, though. so honestly, who knows!!! but i dont really have as much of a Pressing Reason to not be active here, i guess

thats all.... jesus fuck i wrote a lot. my bad!!! no wonder i procrastinated writing this GODDAMN!!!!

[blazehedgehog]

As someone who I know is intricately familiar with Genesis music and the FM synth it uses; why is it that many people (including myself) enjoy the Genesis era Sonic music but when Jin Senoue tries to emulate that sound using Genesis synth samples (Sonic Superstars being the most recent example) it just doesn't sound very good? I know it's literally become a running joke in the community that Senoue uses the Genesis synth too much but it's not like Sonic 1 or 2 had bad soundtracks even though they used the same instrumentation, and Senoue is obviously a very talented composer, so I don't really understand why his attempts to emulate the Genesis soundtracks always turn out so mid.

The general theory I subscribe to is that with the soundtracks to Sonic 1, 2, and presumably even Sonic 3, those games were composed by people who were just writing "real" music. They would pick out real world instruments and write for that sound.

If you've never heard it before, for the 20th Anniversary, Sega put out a compilation soundtrack for Sonic 1 and 2, which included the original demo tracks Masato Nakamura wrote for those games.

Now these are basically just MIDI files, because they didn't need to be anything more than that. But you can tell he was thinking in terms of horn sections, bass guitar, and so on.

Nakamura would submit these MIDI songs on cassette to Sega, and Sega's sound engineers would transcribe those instruments into something that sounded appropriate for the Genesis hardware.

Now, Jun Senoue did the same thing, to a degree. Jun's first major Sonic soundtrack was Sonic 3D Blast on the Sega Genesis, and Jon Burton (of Traveler's Tales) revealed Jun's own demo cassette. If you listen to Jun's tracks, they're all done on the Honky Tonk/Rhodes piano. There's no attempt to utilize real world instruments or have any kind of sound diversity. [1] [2] [3] [4]

Instead of writing music for a band, he wrote music for an individual playing a keyboard.

Worse still, it has eventually been revealed as of Sonic Origins that Jun Senoue had very little awareness of how to make Genesis sounding music. Again, he only submitted his songs on cassette. He was not responsible for the FM Synthesis conversion, just the raw notes, which were all written on, and for, a keyboard.

(throwing the rest of this ask under a "read more" tag because it embeds a lot more videos and even some images)

So when it came time for Sonic 4, and they had Jun Senoue do the retro style soundtracks for those games, he was probably pretty out of his depth. He was writing for style of music he did not really have a nuanced understanding of.

So we get this crunchy, grating, disassociated "this is what the Genesis sounded like, right?" sort of sound. The musical equivalent of one of those early 2000's "How to Draw Manga" books: somebody who thinks they know what they're doing, has actual talent in other adjacent areas, but doesn't actually get this particular niche.

This is one of the reasons why I'm actually a little warmer towards Classic Sonic's music in Sonic Forces -- it's not Jun Senoue. Somebody on that project understood enough and had Naofumi Hataya handle a lot of Classic Sonic's music. He has actual experience with chiptunes and wrote something that feels like it belongs in a Sega System 32 arcade game or something.

Not every single one of Classic Sonic's songs are stone cold bangers in Forces, but at least they sound more authentically retro than Jun's attempts, because they were written by someone who knew what they were doing.

Beyond that, I don't know why Jun doesn't just, like... do better, in a sense. I suppose I don't know his composing environment and how easy or hard it is to slot in what he'd need to sound more "authentic." I just know from my own perspective how easy it is to grab a VST or a soundfont for common Genesis/Yamaha instruments.

But even then, more authentic instruments aren't going to solve the problem that this style of music doesn't seem to be his strong suit, even if somebody at Sega keeps pushing him to do it. Thankfully, I think somebody finally realized it, given how Sonic Superstars seemed to be full of his Sonic 4 style fake-retro music and most of it got replaced at the last second.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

Writing Newsletter #1: March 2024

So! Lil author's note to explain this. I decided to start up a newsletter, monthly, but until I get around to figuring out website hosting &c., to post on here instead of emails. Once I get that sorted, I'll switch this to email, and there'll be a newsletter signup gift of two stories - Ever Changing, Ever Near (hosted on my website until recently) and A Fragile Solace. Together, in unedited form, they're around 3k. They're Inklings stories, both of which were highly commended in the separate competitions I wrote them for. Anyway, if you want to be on the taglist for this monthly newsletter, say the word and I'll add you.

Writing update

Lately, my main project has been Patience, Changing. It’s a story about autism, changes in routine and loving despite the inconvenience. There’s also a spice of mental health in there, because I’m me and that’s what I do. Also my protagonists are eleven and twelve years old. Very fun. Rhona is incredibly over-dramatic and while in some ways she’s justified, in other ways she’s just not—I’ve written a couple of scenes from her perspective that I intend to cut, just because I love her so much. (It’s meant to be all from Patience’s POV.) An interesting thing that I’ve noted in the last few days is the inclusion of a character I’d intended to be already gone before the story began, but on a whim I decided to change the timeline. If you’ve read The Patience of Hope, the character I’m referring to is Hannah—Patience’s aunt, who dies of anorexia complications long before. However, I’ve chosen to include her in Patience, Changing because as someone who suffers from anorexia myself, I felt it was important to include the possible outcomes. I’m not entirely sure what her role in this story is, but I’m discovering that she is very important to Patience, so we’ll see when she dies. I’ll have to edit The Patience of Hope to change that detail, but that’s okay.

This is the second time I’ve made myself cry over a character I originally wrote as dead before I wrote them before they died, but anyway.

In terms of word count, I’ve written 80k of assorted Patience content since I started writing the novella in mid-December, so I’m pretty happy with that.

Reading update

At the moment I’m reading Walking on Water by Madeleine L’Engle for Lent (well—Lent-ish), as well as Cry of the Raven by Morgan L. Busse. This is my first time reading both, and I’m tremendously excited to finish them both. The first Ravenwood book was one of my favourites for a long time and I only recently read Flight of the Raven for the first time. It lived up to my expectations.

I’ll have more to put in this section next newsletter when there’s been a definable sense of time since the last one, so. Yeah.

Ramble

Hi. This is just an area where I can ramble about whatever. Since I’m new to this whole newsletter thing, this one is pretty empty. I’m considering how I want to do this thing—considering whether I add in a Goals section or not, or whether I try and get back to posting on my blog, but anyway. Hopefully here on out will become more polished, or something. This was a pretty last-minute idea—I’ve been kicking around the idea of creating a writing newsletter for a While, but until now didn’t actually get round to it.

Anyway, please contact me and let me know what works best or what you’d most like to see! I need the advice.

Drabble

Under Pressure

“Patience!” he called.

She turned to him with relief, pressing her hands to her face in distress. “Oh, Nathan!” she said, leaning a little towards him. “Why can’t I just—be normal?”

“You’re normal—for you,” he said gently. “The public perception of ‘normal’ is so weirdly skewed it’s crazy. Don’t think any less of yourself just because you can’t handle that.” He gestured to the party they had both left behind. “You’re fine, Patience.”

“I’m autistic,” she said bitterly. “I’ll never cope with the world.”

“That’s not your fault.” He didn’t touch her, only smiled, and she was comforted.

Photo

[therk900]

☀️January TC Challenge (Day 1-31)☀️

1. Do you think your TC will teach you next year? M is teaching me this year and i'm so exited for it! I also still have A this year!

2. If you had to move to another city, how would you tell your TC? Would you confess to them?  Maybe in person so i could see how they reacted and i would maybe confess them!

3. Have you ever written a letter to your TC? If no, would you ever do that and what would be in it? If yes, what did you write?  Yes. I made one for S mid 2022. I wrote how I was so thankful for him.

4. Are you attracted to your TC in a more emotional or sexual way? Or both? Both if i'm being completely honest

5. How did you meet your TC? Do you remember your first conversation?  B and S both taught me when they first joined, and I sadly don’t remember our first conversation since we had so many and it was so long ago. I think with A, it was just mainly about getting to know each other, and i got to know him because my old maths teacher used to teach him. I met A around the same time as S! I met M at the start of last year since he was my teacher for a small bit of a subject i took! Our first conversation was him praising me and my answers

6. If it were to happen, how do you imagine the perfect kiss going down with your TC? If by chance you have kissed your TC, how did it happen? For S and M, I imagine it being the last day of school and they give me a goodbye kiss! With B, maybe a reunion kiss or something like that. With A, maybe a quick goodbye kiss!

7. Have you ever had an argument with your TC?  No. I would have nothing to argue about with them

8. Do you see your TC outside of school?  I wish I did. Hopefully i get to see B maybe, especially because he left

9. Do you have a memory you are particularly fond of with your TC? Any cute stories? When B was still at my school, B and I would have chats about random things and ask about my hobby of drawing! He also used to check up on me during school assemblies! Once when i was staying back after school, i was on a call with my dad, and i saw S walking towards me. I finished up the call with my dad so fast (my dad and i were done anyway) and talked with S until he got to his car. I helped him remove some things off his car before saying goodbye! This happened recently before it was the school holidays, but when i was in M's class, i was working on my own since i didn't really know anybody in that class. M saw this and decided to work with me! He was really sweet throughout it and technically gave me all the answers With A, we were working on something that my teacher gave me, and it had a question about a sports team that he followed. The question involved his team losing, so A decided to cross out his team's name and put a different team's name instead. A and i were laughing about it for a while.

10. If your TC is still married, would you (still) want a relationship with them? it all depends, really in my opinion

11. Do you have a photo with your TC? If yes, how did you get it?  Yes. I have one with B. I got it because the photo is in the school yearbook.

12. Do you think anyone you haven't told about your TC knows you're crushing on them? Most likely. It is obvious 

13. When is your last class with your TC? Will you see them over summer break?  My last class with S was in 2021 and with B, it was term 3 last year. I won’t see them over the holidays sadly. with M, it was at the end of last year. I will defiantly see A over the holidays!

14. Have you ever mentioned the tcc/teacher crushes to your TC? NO WAY. I would move schools after that. Even to the other side of the world!

15. Do you think one of your classmates has a crush on your TC? I don’t know tbh

16. Do you get jealous when you see your TC with other students? Not really

17. If you and your TC had a long distance relationship, do you think it would work out? Yes...

18. What's your TC's degree? Do you like what they studied? S: Science and a language B: English  M: Science i like those subjects

19. Have you ever cried about your TC? If so, why? No

20. Have you ever cried in front of your TC? If yes, why? I have cried in front of B once, I have forgotten the reason why. S saw me just after I finished crying and it was embarrassing. 

21. Do you know about your TC'S family? If yes, what do you know? I know of M’s daughter. (He introduced me to her once which was cute)

22. Would you consider them a dog person or a cat person? I would consider them all cat people. But maybe M would be a dog person

23. How would you tell your TC about your feelings? (If you had to) Letter most likely so it can be anonymous 

24. Do you know how your TC dresses outside of work? In casual shit, I guess

25. What are they like when they are upset? I’ve never seen any of them upset. When B was getting annoyed, he would just be like “come on guys” and everyone would just shut up

26. Where do you sit in relation to their desk/spot/lecturing position? With B, i used to sit at the front, near where he was sitting. With S and M, usually at the back, so I can admire them. Since A and I have private sessions, I technically sit right next to him

27. Do they know another language?  S knows Italian. i think A may know a tiny bit of greek

28. What do you have in common with your TC? B and I both had pets at one point and A and i went to the same School (he left a couple years before i joined)

29. Have you texted/messaged your TC? I’ve messaged A multiple times! I’ve only emailed the others

30. What is the most frequent TC daydream you play in your head? Me cuddling with them

31. If you could only say one more sentence to your TC before graduation, what would it be?  "I will miss you a fuck ton"

[silvershayde]

Sharing cus tbh I feel lonely rn and I'm very confused? Feeling s bit uninspired

So today (last day of classes before mid term break) I had an eye appointment and they said my eyes produce less tears, Haven't read up on it but they also mentioned technology and how it causes headaches

I'm almost done with school so I actually have soooooooo much free time sans the studying I gotta do, but I also wanne reduce my technology usage cus I have a crippling dependency ever since I had to revise my other hobbies to not get out of track with classes, but just thinking of picking up those hobbies again feels daunting and like, I won't be able to feel the love I had for them which makes me sad :(

I already crochet and have books to draw in, but writing for fic has always been online cus it's just easier to save and preserve my writing that way (plus more secure in my case) than to write ideas in a book and run the risk of them getting lost. But I really wanna cut down tech usage so instead of just writing out the plot in full I'll use paper and pen to write out the outline of my story plots and then make notes of the misadventures or side quests the characters go through and the characteristics of the characters

Honestly, I'm talking about this to someone else cus I kinda want an alternative perspective? I realised that school has made me so dependent on someone telling me what to do and I hate it, so I wanna try and practice independence more, especially planning how I wanna do my hobbies

okay, so as someone who has written stories both online and physically in a book, i was more productive writing it down on paper. sadly i did lose the book, but that was more because i did move around quite a bit when i was younger and it was hectic and not because of negligence on my part (then again i am also known for losing things but usually i eventually find them. and i actually don't know if i would read it back or not i was like 12 when i wrote it lolol)

I don't know too much about less tears can do to your eyes other than your more prone to have irritation and straight up scratches on the eyeball (i know this because my optician told me i had this but then didn't tell me what to do about it - still haven't done anything about it but i know eyedrops help)

honestly do what you truly think is best for you. if you're struggling with what to choose i suggest doing a pros and cons list and put em side by side. that's what i do when i'm truly indecisive and other's opinions don't really help. but! i will say that even if indecisive and asking others opinions, usually you lowkey know deep down what you wanna do and all it takes is someone else's thought process to know if you would fully go for it.

if you wanna cut down tech usage, instead of going cold turkey and making it harder for yourself, use night shift/night light (or whatever is your device/phone's equivalent) so you can reduce blue light at night. I know that androids have this black and white thing that gets enabled at a time for you. ALSO!! i cannot stress this, disable notifications. You'd be surprised about how much less you'd go on apps and stuff when notifs be off. But this is all the stuff that's worked for me personally, you can try these out to see if they work.

eye strain is a very real thing. technology/screens/whatever are usually what causes this and even looking away from a screen and doing something else can make it worse if it gets that bad. when you start to get that annoying thing at the back of your eyes or you feel a light ache around your eyes, know your slowly starting to experience eye strain and you need to relax them. having dry eyes i think make it worse because of the scratching/irritation it can cause and because if your eyes are dry enough, your ability to BLINK would start to get affected. and that's just a long day

about your other hobbies, i get it feeling daunting if you havent dabbled in a while, i feel it whenever i get back to drawing after a long while. all i can say to that is slowly ease yourself back into doing it. start small, because if you go in acting as if there has been no time between the last time you've participated in your hobbies, you could start being overly harsh on yourself if it isn't going as smooth as you wanted. but trying it out, is better than not at all. and it'd help reduce screen time

[naushtheaspiringauthor]

~Child Of The Storm~

Nikolai Lantsov x OC

Image by - @brokendreamtale2

Warnings- violence, ptsd

A/N- I'm very sorry for the delay in this chapter, had a hectic two weeks of mid terms. And I really got carried away with this chapter, I just thought to do all of the winter fete part in one chapter yk? Also I hope that some o the stuff I've wrote, isn't scientifically incorrect. That was very confusing to write

Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @nadeleine123n

Ch-12~Events and Associations~

Zoya spent the entire day sharing her "experience of the journey" with everyone. During lunch, she spoke of the state of the towns, something about woodcuts in the villages and everyone somehow enjoyed hearing all of it. On the training grounds, she hugged Botkin and he kissed both her cheeks. They chatted for a moment in Shu, as always, before starting off with the drills.

Anaya noticed Zoya and her friend Eimmere giggling while looking at Alina. It was part of their usual routine of course, yet they seemed to be only looking at the girl stumbling through the drills.

Anaya's attention hastily turned to Botkin when she heard him pair Alina with Zoya.

"This is worth my time" she mumbled to herself.

"Is star pupil will help little girl" Botkin spoke, grinning with pride

"Surely the Sun Summoner doesn't need my help" Zoya responded with her wicked smile.

She saw both of them getting in their fighting stances and Botkin gave them the signal to start.

Zoya threw her first towards Alina, but she managed to block it, but she couldn't stop the second one and in hit her right in the jaw, making her head jerk back. Anaya found herself thoroughly enjoying the scene playing out in front of her.

Zoya then sprung forward, aiming for the girl's ribs, but she managed to dodge it in time. Zoya flexed her shoulders and circled again and hit her directly in the gut. Alina gasped for breath as Zoya brought her elbow towards her but she somehow managed to avoid it. Zoya lunged forward, this time with much more fury, but the girl moved side wards. As Zoya moved closer, she hooked her leg around her ankle, making Zoya fall down hard.

Anaya resisted the urge to grin at the sight.

Everyone began to applaud but before the girl could embrace her victory, Zoya sat up with a raging expression on her face as her arm slashed through the air. Alina went flying backwards  and fell hard on a wall with a loud thump.

Botkin roared with anger, "Zoya! you do not use power. Not in these rooms. Never in these rooms!" He snatched Zoya's elbow and threw her out of the training rooms.

The next morning Anaya saw Zoya sitting in the dining hall in a similar state as she had been, all by herself in a corner. Anaya wanted to go up to her and mock her in the same way she had, but she instead just ignored her. The girl had been way too embarassed already.

Sveral months went by and the first sights of snow appeared in Os Alta . Anaya attempted to have a talk with the general on several occasions, but apparently he was too busy for her these days. Most of the people she'd been friends with, now spent most of their while with the Sun Summoner and she barely saw Genya anymore. Zoya's tauntings had reduced to a bare minimum but she continued to maintain her malicious behaviour.

Soon the talks of the preparations for the winter fete had begun. Anaya had thoroughly enjoyed performing during the Winter fete as a child, but it no longer felt so endearing to her as it did back then. Yet she still prepared for her demonstration along with the other Summoners.

The morning of the occasion, her Kefta arrived as she was practicing by herself. If she was to actually perform in front of all kinds of riches, she might as well be the best at it. The woolen kefta was navy blue colored and was heavily embroidered with shiny pale blue threads and had strands of fur on the edges of the collar. It looked much more beautiful than her other keftas had, and she quite liked how it looked on her.

Anaya pulled her hair in a bun and wrapped several braids around it with a few loose strands of hair falling in front. She cleaned her face and put on some makeup, and then took out the music sheets from her drawer and went outside.

The hallways were beautifully decorated and candles were lit in every corner. Upon entering the ballroom, Anaya saw some rich nobles with their wives, military officers and all other kinds of riches. The whole hall was sparkling with crystals and several chandeliers were hung across. Anaya firstly had to perform with the orchestra and then demonstrate her tidemaker abilities infront of thee guests.

She took her place by the violinist and began to play a soft tune on the piano infront of her. More people began to arrive as she continued to enter.

Several summoners began with their demonstrations. After a while, it was Anaya's turn so she gestured another pianist to take over as she went infront of everyone.

Anaya stepped on the platform with Rabeah and several squallers, inferni and tidemakers joined her as everyone's attention turned to them. She slowly made a wave of water rise. With a swift motion of her hands, the wave began to transform into a dolphin. One of the squallers sent a few gusts of wind that made it appear as long ballistic jumps. Along with the tidemakers, she summoned a gust of water and sent it to towards the crowd. Some of the squallers made the temperature of the water rise . In a spur, the squaller sent a wave of cold air towards the now hot water. Tiny droplets of water froze mid air all around the room, making the guests gasp.

The orchestra struck a dramatic chord as the inferni sent arcs of flame over the crowd and the squallers joined by sending spires of glitter across the room. The tidemakers then brought a massive wave crashing over the bacony with the squallers' help. The inferni then raised their arms, making the wave transform into a cloud of mist.

In a sudden, an unplanned wave of light went cascading through the mist, creating a shimmering rainbow that made the crowd cheer and applaud with excitement. Anaya, Rabeah and several others looked it with a confused yet surprised expression but they soon figured out that Alina had been the one to send it. Anaya noticed her standing in a corner, wearing a black Kefta. Just how much was the general favoring her?

The group of Summoners stepped down from the platform as it was now the turn for Alina's demonstration. Anaya went to a corner of the room and got herself a glass of champagne as she knew that the night was about to get much worse.

The Darkling himself accompanied the girl to the base of the steps of the platform. The crowd began to applaud the moment they stepped infront of everyone, the scene making Anaya roll her eyes far back.

The orchestra began to play an ominous tone in a high octave as they were introduced. Ivan went to the Darkling for a moment and muttered something in his ear and left as soon as he got a response.

The Darkling smiled and took Alina's arm and led her to the platform as the crowd began to applaud.

Without further delay, he slammed his hands together. Thunder boomed in the room as a cloud of darkness spread all around. Tension spread among the crowd as the darkness remained stagnant for a few moments. In a sudden, light burst from within the darkness, making the whole room gleam brightly.

The crowd gasped in awe and someone spoke loudly "It's true!"

Alina turned her hand and shot a beam of light from her palm. The light reflected back after her hitting the balcony, making a zig-zag pattern of light bouncing off from different corners of the ceiling. The dark ballroom was now lit up by numerous rays of light bouncing off from almost every angle.

So the Fabrikators really did make specialized mirrors for the girl.

The beam disappeared, then in a sudden, the light bloomed around Alina and the Darkling, wrapping them in a golden sphere. He sent black ribbons of darkness that climbed through the gleaming sphere. The waves of darkness danced around the sphere as it grew bigger and shone brighter.

The crowd began to applaud, once again.

Alina threw her arms wide and then slammed them together, the action make a loud rumble shake the whole room. A burst of light exploded in the room, blinding everyone's sights for the moment. All the people let out a collective "ah" sound and attempted to shield their eyes from the intense amount of light.

The light remained for a moments and then slowly faded. The crowd began to cheer and applaud jubilantly. The two bowed infront of everyone before the Darkling pulled Alina to a side and began to speak something to her.

Anaya attempted to "live in the moment" and got herself a few more glasses of champagne. She observed the guests, the expensive clothing, jewels and the poise they maintained. No matter what corner of the world you'd go to, the riches were the same everywhere, sugar coating every word they spoke only for their benefits even though they fully knew that they all despised each other.

She was too deeply indulged in her thoughts to notice Rabeah sneaking up on her from behind, or maybe the champagne had gotten the best of her.

Rabeah's sudden pat on her shoulder made her head jerk back. "What are you doing all by yourself?" She asked Anaya with a playful expression

"Because I prefer my company, and you're very much ruining that" She responded, pursing her lips

"Or maybe because all your friends abandoned you" Rabeah spoke with a wicked grin

"You know I can punch you in the face for that"

"I know, I know, but I also know that you won't" She smiled. "You have to admit I'm right"

Anaya sighed "Yeah, I guess. I don't really care anyways, whatever" she shrugged her shoulders

"Aw don't worry, you have me" Rabeah wrapped an arm around her shoulder but quickly dropped it as she got an angry glare from Anaya.

[princeleyjeans]

Here's pt 2 because i wanna

the fandom's got me wanting to write again so here's basically the lowdown on the rest of my self-insert/Wallace fanfic: (Yes, canonically Wallace doesn't TEND to stay with the bad guy after they've been unmasked but just listen) So for the next....3/4-ish years, Me, or DL as I've grown to call them when I first wrote the story it was...oh my god it's so fucking lame, it was called "Despicable Le" because my name is Levi, Le for short, you get the idea, I was young, it was cringe and sad but it's given my character a nickname so meh. Anyway, DL/Me during their stay with Wallace and the gang, you guess at their age, they're gonna be prone to all the mental anguish and troubles regular teens are, not to mention I'm autistic with ADHD so they are too, undiagnosed, no idea and they're dealing with magic which steadily throughout the remainder of their time in that world, becomes unstable to the point that they decide it's safer for everyone if they just up and leave and this decision is made mid-fight with a lesser foe, it happens in the middle of town, Wallace and Gromit haven't made it yet, they don't see anything until the end so DL uses their power to destroy the bad guy, take half the buildings with them and realizing then and there they're too dangerous, it's not safe for their friends so they write a quick note "Don't Look for me", send it off and skip the country to where we have a short-lived Crossover with GTAV, that we can save for another day, but for that time, they're living another life under a new persona, working as a certain directors assistant, dating his daughter, they're fine, they're settled, its all good...until it's not and they have to abandon it all and come back to protect old friends. This is where the real gritty storyline comes out as DL has embraced a lot of bad habits, and problematic behaviour, and decided they enjoy being a villain in their own right because that's a point of the story, they are a villain, they are a necessary evil and during the early plot that was what they were coming to terms with, being a troubled teen from a broken home, finding a family they love and almost finding normality before accepting that sometimes, you just can't help how you feel. Sometimes you don't want to be entirely good. On the side of justice, sometimes you wanna kick ass and do bad things for your own sake. At the stage they come back they're more into themselves, they've improved at sorcery and magic, and they're someone to be reckoned with if you cross them, that said they are also a bit more...human? The beginning to mid area of the overall story is somewhat dark, and a little twisted as I started this during a very negative time in my life and that put a stain on the writing but I like it, I wanted to keep some of that darkness and realism to my fanfiction because as DL grows older they meet sort of...smoothing period, and instead of a gradual good to evil ark, you have it the other way around, they start off a scheming lier out for themselves and taking Wallace for a fool to improve their own life to developing friendships and relationships and reasons to be grounded even at their worst. Fluffles play's a big part in that but the graph is very, I dunno, up and down and then on a downward slope in a positive way, as they become more normal and human and stop wanting to cause harm they become more of who they want to be, for themselves and for Wallace at the end of it. I wrote my story for myself, but as an adult, I also feel like DL is a character in themselves now. For a long time, I didn't write about them having a happy ending because of their personality and character but since creating it and the ship, I'm glad, I want DL to be happy and be with Wallace, I want that ship to sail. Trigger warning there's lots of mental illness in this piece of fiction, lots of fetishing (Kinda?) and mentions of DID, BP, etc, it's not for the faint of heart of easily offended so be careful and don't come bleeding when you get upset because there is a warning sign!