#i.. i dont know what to say for myself
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this has been plaguing my mind for days
#i.. i dont know what to say for myself#i kinda wanna make this a sticker for myself#im getting into sticker design cuz my mom wants a print of my velveteen rabbit poster i made for school#i kinda wanna remake it since i made that thing on fucking illustrator with vectors and it took me DAYS#i wanna make it look more storybook like and surprise it to her by ordering it as a sticker... itd be my first time#custom printing a sticker and i think id prefer to get it professionally done unless i decide to learn how to diy it#my art#myart#stickers#the very hungry caterpillar#eric carle
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The words for sloppy and slutty are the same in German (Schlampig). So you can imagine how fast my head snapped to look at my computer screen when I was absentmindedly watching Improbable Cause in German for the first time and i genuinely believed for half a second Garak had just called the Tal Shiar sluts and not sloppy
#yes i know the subtitles aren't what he's saying but i dont wanna screen record and the word is still there#almost gave myself whiplash with this scene#star trek#ds9#deep space nine#elim garak#deep space 9#enabran tain#deutsches zeug#german#deutsch
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I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.
And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.
But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.
Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.
So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.
Respect our rest.
#wrenfea.exe#DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends#this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated#also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to#thats what therapists are for#also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better#but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits#and not being pressured to push past them#ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method#like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method#and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself#and i need to adapt rather than push forward#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#disability#chronic illness#cripple punk#cripplepunk#cpunk
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I have a maybe silly question, but uh. How do I become a more interesting person? I have a horrible habit of staying home and not going out and doing things. How do I not do that? This feels very goofy as a thing to ask, but you appear to have an interesting life, therefore making you a reliable source. Do with this what you will, and please say hi to your creatures! Here is my mischief goblin Jammer for your troubles:
It may seem backwards, but...don't try to be interesting, try to be interested.
Find things you find engaging, and then find ways to pursue them. It's best if you can find some kind of group or community that also does the thing you want to try--if you're struggling to find things you like, then just start trying things local to you. You've probably got a local birdwatching group, or a sewing circle, or a community theater, or a historical society, or a comic shop that does game nights, or a group of regulars volunteering at an animal shelter, or stained glass classes, or a makerspace, or any number of little communities that are out there. Try them! The first meeting will be the worst. And if you hate it, you don't have to keep at it, and trying will give you a fun story. Sooner or later you will land on something you like and then...keep turning up.
And if you're not finding things local and in person, then just take up whatever strikes your fancy at home. If you could be incredible at any three hobbies, what would they be? What's stopping you from starting those hobbies? You're going to fail at them when you start but you're already failing at them now by not starting, so what do you have to lose?
Here's the thing: nobody wants to talk with someone who's just singing their own victories. The best stories are the ones where we tried something new and different and silly and strange and maybe messed it up, but had fun. And the best stories are shared--ask other people about the things they're into, be interested and engaged and maybe see if they're open to teaching you a little, if their interests seem fun to you. It's not about being interesting, it's about sharing passion.
So find the things you're passionate about, and keep at them even after you've failed, and the rest will follow.
And pet your cat, he's doing his job so well!
#look yeah i know a lot of the time the thing that keeps us from being incredible at our dream hobbies is time or money or resources#but almost always you can say okay: what's the small scale version of this that's achievable? what's a starting point?#you don't have to build a whole pottery studio but could you get some polymer clay to put in the oven#you know? There's scale to almost anything#so start the things you wish you were. you don't begin a master#you begin. and the rest is just failing until you don't fail anymore.#i dont think of myself as an interesting person necessarily so take it with a grain of salt. but boy am i interested in practically anythin#also its 2 am and coherency has suffered#kiss that cat!
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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sry i dont know what 2 draw anymore T_T . elendira portrait #999
#trigun#trigun maximum#elendira#elendira the crimsonnail#my art#im sure u can see it but ive been so uninspired w art lately T_T#ive tried to remedy it by just looking and observing. breaking down other works that i want 2 take direction from#but i tjknk its like . just jamming ME UPPP#and now im tjinking Too much ab it and psyching myself out#help me sorry i blow up the tags on every drawing i post ab my art struggles😭😭#its like im whispering in here thouggh. just talking 2 myself and no one has 2 know except the ppl dealing w the same feelings#HAJAHA#anyways. i drew this just to say i finally drew smth agajn and im just going to be ok w it#like sure its not exciting but i like the colors and that shld be enough . OK !!!!#smth smth saw a post that talked ab how u get too in ur Head about this and then u dont share stuff and it becomes cyclical#and youll never get anywhere unless u just throw ur hands in the air and let it Be .#creating 4 the sake of creating . love and joy in sharing what we made and what we like#YAAAY#and bc i love elendira so much.. my go to girlie 4 art block#i need to draw her in fight scenes . i need 2 make art of her like sweaty and bloody yah . clenching my fist#maybe a livio fight scene bc i love it so much T_T
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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some doodles
#i meant to put the balor one in the previous post but i forgor 😭its in a diff file from the sketch dump i was coloring in so it just didnt#exist in my mind at all. i felt like smth was missing as i was posting it but i couldnt place what hlep#adeline and eiland have been driving me insane lately. expect more of them. probably.#dont minf the last two guys. some concepts for future farms 😋 (pls mind them im crazy abt all my farmers even if they technically dont -#exist yet. pls ask abt them or smth pls im nroaml i can be nroma l i prommy)#fields of mistria#fom balor#sona#im gonna start tagging that i think.#fom eiland#fom adeline#fom elsie#fom farmer#my art#guys can i just say that im so happy that balor is silver n not gold cus otherwise i would have to confront a part of me im not proud of#we shouldnt talk abt it but like yeah jjust know i like his silver and his whole deal#have such a softspot n bias for characters who dont settle anywhere. who never lay down their roots or whatever. who keep their past secret#like oughh hes hitting so many marks#i like hawthorne a lot. hes more developed in my head. and also i like his dead look and hair bows. i have so many ideas abt him man it hur#i promised myself i wouldnt make a new save file til i reached y2 w rory but apperantly errols bday is cursed bc the game has frozen twice#sorry if you read all of these tags. go to my askbox w fom stuff or smth. ask abt my farmers plsplspls pl s jk haha unless. maybe even#gimme drawing reqs for fom in general. ok tyvm ly sorry for yapping. its what i do best
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beep beep im a sheep
speeddraw below the cut (audio warning)
song: "Cult of Dionysis" by The Orion Experience
#before anybody says anything i have never played cotl in my entire life and i dont plan to. but. crow showed me some narilamb art#and i. well.. HMMMMM kinda fruity if i do say so myself..#also i wanted to play around with the lambs design and had fun basing their outfit a little on crusader armor. mostly the cloth in the fron#i dont think id last 10 minutes playing cotl. partly because i suck at strategy games and not hugely drawn to roguelike games#and partly because i think i would cry real tears if i had to sacrifice someone despite fully knowing theyre nonsentient npc characters#i must admit i think the world and gameplay mechanics are interesting.. havent watched any playthroughs but ive been skimming thru the#wiki pages. kindareminds me of binding of Isaac but i dont have the patience for those kinds of games sadly#also apparently u guys are getting a sex update so i feel like ill be in full blast of whatever comes out of that#i might draw god of death lamb because i kind of have an idea of what their horns would look like. but im gonna hate drawing an outfit ugh#noooo dont usurp god and reap destruction for generations to come youre so sexy haha#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl lambert#cotl fanart#my art#myart#videos#speeddraw#progress art
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YOU. CANNOT. TELL. ME. HE. DIDN'T. WANT. TO. KISS. HER. DURING. THIS.
He is absolutely SMITTEN with her!
#adar#sam hazeldine#rings of power#adar rings of power#the rings of power#please send help#uruk#trop#lotr#i dont know what to do with myself#hes been obsessed with her since season one and you cannot convince me otherwise!#he is 100% flirting#knife play is his foreplay i guess#wait what?#did i say that out loud?#i did#you heard right#Adar enjoys knife play#and Galadriel is VERY good at it
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The Nobleman or 양반 (yangban): The smiling face represents the bluff and composure that an aristocrat is often known to have. The chin is a separate piece from the top of the mask, and the actors can lean forward and back to make the mask smile or frown as needed.
This monk who abandons his doctrines, or 취발이 (chwibari): Chwibari was originally a monk, but he had no intention of joining the monastic order, so he came down to the world and wanders. Represented with a forehead full of wrinkles and spots.
The widow or, 부네 (Punae/bune): represented to be a widow, or a kisaeng ( a woman who sang, danced, or played an instrument to provide entertainment for company at a drinking party), or a mistress of the Yangban. She has a very small mouth, round cheeks and forehead- giving a general look of happiness good-humor.
#skz#stray kids#skzedit#bystay#obligatory i am no expert take it with a grain of salt blah blah#theres no changbin bc you cant see the mask clearly and no hyunjin because as best I can figure his mask is a General/high ranking official#but most of those are modern productions and dont have any real descriptions or anything.#these plays were made to mock the upper classes so the nobleman is p much always treated like a fool or bastard lol#also these all change depending on the location- so like the chwibari is usually a negative portrayal of a monk who drinks and parties#and isnt very... monk-ly lets say- but then theres a story where he saves his lover from a lecherous monk and they get married so 🤷♀️#he wasnt a monk that iteration though or he abandoned his studies ?#and then the widow/concubine varies from sympathetic young widow to a kinda femme fatale who seduces the nobleman/scholars#Will any of this play into the concept? probably not. they dont really commit to concepts lbr#but still! it was interesting to look into and the masks are pretty to boot so this was fun :)#it'd be cool if they did a mask dance. i always loved thunderous for the traditional elements so i hope that happens#also YEAH a korean seungmin girl saying she was sad the foreign fans wouldnt get the significance bc she wants to see 'secondary art'#did inspire this (of course i'd wanna know why he was the only one given a womans mask dont act surprised)#bc im pretty sure i know what she means by secondary art and LMAO#i see right through you.... and into myself maybe#long post
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Random Fact # 4
“Featuring Calm Yandere.”
Just some random facts cause I havent updated in a while. I’m working on a little smut fic.
Calm yandere is currently listening to Step On Me by The Cardigans, Picture You by Chappell Roan, and Let You Break My Heart Again by Laufey. He loves to listen to those artists as he redoes his room. The reader has been coming over to his house often, so he makes sure they have their own space too. He’s also been expanding his collection of Smiski’s. He doesn’t mind breaking the bank every once in a while, and he likes to make sure his dog approves of the new changes. If you haven’t noticed, Mini practically rules the house and everything has to be in her liking.
Calm yandere aspires to be a vet one day. He loves to be around animals, reptiles, and insects. When he was younger, he had a pet rabbit. A cute one that was brown and white, and he was absolutely gutted to part with her after he had to leave for college. Unfortunately, the rabbit died. Calm yandere then adopted Mini from the shelter when she was nine years old, and now he is celebrating her twelfth birthday!
#Allurilove random facts of the day#calm yandere x you#I dont want to say what yandere im working on cause I know that I might jinx myself and dont publish it oml
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I don't care how many times the rich & famous talk about how being rich & famous is the worst fate humanly possible I will never ever ever believe them for one milisecond lol
#I love mitski but oh my god ''shittiest exclusive club in the world''...you know the other time ive heard that phrase used?#families and friends of people who killed themselves. we often say welcome to the worst club in the world to new ppl on forums#but yeah im sure the heaps of money and thriving career doing what you love isnt worth it bc sometimes fans are creeps. uh huh#yes this is an extention of my chappell rant no i dont want to talk abt it anymore it just makes me too furious lol#every celebrity rallying around her to throw themselves a pity party godddd i cant deal w/it lol#as I said before i would voluntarily put myself through every saw trap in existence to have what you people have#do you really not know how bad the average persons life is. let alone the least privileged 10% ...#and dont send me asks moralizing about this again i really & truly will not change my mind. these people are fucking ridiculous
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empty glory
#yugioh#ygo#seto kaiba#art#artists on tumblr#kaibas a v tragic character to me#dude always strives to be the best and only concern himself w the future#he has fought tooth and nail to be a respected duelist and business man yet it seems to me like he doesn't believe he is#yes hes an arrogant prick and extremely set in his ways but thats bc he has to be#nobody has ever supported him or believed in his skills and that kinda sticks w you man!#yes i know mokubas there but that doesnt change the fact he had to take care of him at a young age#its fun to say that he needs to chill out (which he does lol) but i dont think hes ever 'chilled out' a day in his life#bro simply doesnt know how to#and when he comes across people who are everything he wishes he could be and could never attain he just#acts like a total bastard lmao#at the end of the day he has everything he can ever want but never what he needed#also perspectives a bitch why did i do this to myself
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