#i like hawthorne a lot. hes more developed in my head. and also i like his dead look and hair bows. i have so many ideas abt him man it hur

[dizzybizz]

some doodles

[crickets-aphtism-space]

Line ups!!!

i have my reasons as to why they're in vacation attire, i swear these aren't just starlight redesigns LMAO

more hcs + alt versions below the cut!!

Aph shaved the right side of her head with Zane, cause he was nervous of doing it by himself (but if anyone asks, she did it cause she thought it looked cool.)

Katelyn and Dante both have phoenix tattoos, they aren't matching or anything they just both thought they were cool. Katelyn's is small just above her right thigh but Dante's is one that goes over his back.

Aaron always wears his bandana. in my brain he's never been able to control his eyes.

Kim works at a library with Zane, and they have this weird friendship where they don't really know each other but talk every so often while the library's quiet.

Lucinda was born with feint markings all over her body, but they grew more vibrant as she developed her witchcraft

Travis was also born with witchcraft markings, but he chooses to hide them. you know, until starlight.

Aaron has absolutely no sense of style

Zane has a tramp stamp tattoo he got when he was drunk LMAO. hes also got a semicolon tattoo on the left side of his neck

This isn't even a headcannon, I was gonna put Garroth and Katelyn in matching shirts but then I realised that it would probably just look like Garroth stole her shirt KJFSJKDF

zane straightens his hair. and the head damage is BAD he has like 2C hair that hes been straightening WET.

Kim's had long hair her whole life, and never really wanted to change it. but then one day Lucinda offered to get it cut and dyed for her to 'up her confidence' and honestly she really likes it :3

Travis can shapeshift, he's always been able to but pre-starlight it was just simple things, like changing his hair hiding certain aspects of himself. but after he's able to do a lot more (he just doesn't really like to.)

Dante can dance he does hip hop mainly (NO I AM NOT BIASED!!)

now, for last names. Katelyn Fortin - Fortin, meaning Strong. Dante Leto - Leto, meaning hidden. or Forgotten. Lucinda Hawthorne - I feel like this ones self explanatory LMAO Kim Navon - Navon, meaning Wise. Aphia Dea'Matrona - Aphia; excellent, most important. Dea'Matrona; Dea matrona is the spanish translation of 'The Matron'

Alt Drawings!!

[twirlingsmilingwriting]

Hunger Games Men as Taylor Swift Songs

Idk if this is kinda odd to post but I'm a person who loves music and every song I listen to paints a scene in my head and I've been getting super into hunger games lately so a lot of the songs I've been listening to have reminded me of the characters. Specifically, my delulu self can imagine being in certain romantic situations with them based on the situations happening in these songs. For the sake of continuity, we will use songs from Ms. Taylor. I wanna write little one shots inspired by these situations. I already wrote the Snow one today so maybe I'll continue.

tldr- these are Taylor swift songs that reminded me of what it might be like to be in a relationship with these characters.

Peeta Mellark

Jump Then Fall- Taylor Swift, Fearless

"The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet, I'll catch you"

Honestly I was thinking 'Mine' at first but I felt like Peeta HAD to have a song off of Fearless. He is the human embodiment of sunshine to me and Fearless as an album is gold, bright, and holds a theme of puppy love throughout it. All of those things just SCREAM Peeta Mellark to me. 'Jump Then Fall' is a song that is relatively vague in terms of story telling lyrics but it is about loving someone and being happy just to see them happy and wanting to be there for your partner no matter what. I feel like Peeta is that kind of ride or die lover. Even after the capital had brainwashed him into hating Katniss he still found his way back into loving her again anyways. He is a lover you can trust. He truly would stick through it all so it's okay to 'Jump Then Fall'.

(Story Idea: Kinda toying with a cute little fluff where the reader and Peeta are going swimming at a lake or something. I have another idea for him too but it's apart of the Finnick X Reader X Peeta story I'm theorizing)

Gale Hawthorn

Better man- Taylor Swift, Red

"But your jealousy, I can hear it now talking down to me like I'd always be around you push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun, you never thought I'd run."

Firstly, Red is my favorite album. Sorry had to get that out of the way. Gale honestly, ugh there was so much potential here. I think as the movies progressed he started to lose his empathy and grew a more selfish shell. Better Man really reminds me of what Katniss might have been thinking with him. He would've been the one if he was a better man.

(Story idea: reader contemplating their relationship with Gale a month or two after the break up and reliving the memories of the past that are gloomy and haunted over by the fact that, Gale really wasn't ready for a relationship. They ponder over things until coming to the disheartening conclusion that brought them to breaking it off in the first place, it really could've worked out if he was a better man.

Also possibly a part two of that with a tooth rotting fluff about Gale going through some character development and becoming a better man and then they get back together)

Finnick Odair

Starlight- Taylor swift, Red

"He said "Look at you, worrying too much about things you can't change, You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way"

Ahehehe Finnicks my favorite. It was hard to pick just one for him but I went with Starlight because he is just such a charmer. Starlight is a song about a whirlwind sort of romance where you are at a party and doing some silly things and you're falling in love. I can totally imagine this happening with Finnick. You meet at a capital party, run off together and start creating some chaos and fall in love. There's specific lines that remind me of him like the "he was trying to skip rocks on the ocean saying to me, "don't you see the starlight"". I could totally see Finnick doing that and just truly being a charming man and finding those little bits of joy in the messed up life given to him. I could see this also being a sort of sheltered reader and it being their first party and he helps them loosen up and have fun.

Honestly, its hard for me to pinpoint just one song for him because so many remind me of him so here are some honorable mentions.

Holy Ground- Same kinda vibe as Starlight

Forever Winter- he has trauma and I can help him. Ours- Finnicks Reputation makes your family question if you should be with him but you know him truly and they can't take whats ours

Mine- A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THIS ONE BECAUSE OF THE "I remember we were sitting there by the water" line but the rest of the song doesn't fit him

Paper Rings- They wanna get married but Finnick can't because of the capitals uh plan with him so they have a little ceremony with just themselves and some friends and paper rings before the events of Catching Fire and then they decide to run off to district 13 to be together for real

Coriolanus Snow

Tolerate It- Taylor Swift, Evermore

"I know my love should be celebrated, but you Tolerate it"

honestly this was the one that inspired me to do this post. I already wrote this story because I CANT HELP MYSELF! This song was playing in my car after I watched tbosas and it was just painting this whole picture of how the person Snow ended up marrying after Lucy Gray must have felt. I'm pretty sure there was that line in the book too that was talking about how Snow never wanted to fall in love again because he felt so out of control and how he would marry someone he didn't love so that he never had to feel that way again. it was something like that. So Tolerate It sounds like the total POV of his next partner. The song itself is about a relationship with a power imbalance where the person singing the song is giving their absolute all for the love, affection, and praise of their partner and their partner gives them nothing in return. The term "Tolerate It" also is insinuating that the person the narrator is in love with is mildly annoyed with the things the singer is doing for them. They simply deal with it but are never impressed and that just gave me snow vibes.

LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD SO A PART TWO WITH OTHER CHARACTERS (recommendations open :') ) OR OTHER ARTISTS. I listen to all genres fr.

Thank you for readings and let me know if you liked any of the ideas I suggested and if I should write them!

<3

[alder-saan]

The Path of Poisons

Shrubby everlasting (part 3)

Larissa x gn! oc

the Path of Poisons masterlist . [01] . [02] . [03] . [04] . [05] . [06] . [07] . [08] . [09]

Words count : ~2.1k

Larissa Weems opened her eyes and closed them again just as quickly, blinded by the white light she saw above her. Was this heaven? She couldn't quite remember what had happened. Marilyn, a syringe, she had fallen… She had seen Wednesday above her, shaking her, and then she had seen nothing, only heard. Sounds of a struggle… Someone talking… Nothing.

A black hole.

So she was dead, eh?

A stupid death.

Her first thoughts went to her school, and to all the children and teachers who would now have to manage without her. All because of her carelessness…

She opened her eyes again slowly, letting the light reach her eyes through a small slit between her eyelids, which she opened more and more. When she got used to it, she saw white walls, a white ceiling, a white floor, and medical equipment. So she wasn't dead. She was in the hospital. She had survived. The door opened wide and several people, probably nurses and doctors, entered, probably one of the machines could detect whether she was awake or not, and it was relayed to another room.

"Mrs. Weems, welcome back," said a woman, smiling.

Still a little dazed, she said nothing.

"We've got some tests to do now that you're awake. Don't worry, nothing too serious. Do you remember what happened?"

"One of the teachers at the academy attacked me and stuck a needle in my neck."

"It was belladonna, you were very lucky to get away with it. Do you have any other memories afterwards?"

"A student leaning over me, some noises, and then nothing."

"That's normal. I'll take some blood and we'll get you some food."

Larissa nodded. The different nurses took her arm to draw some blood. The principal felt her head spin and closed her eyes.

"How long have I been here?"

"Oh, four days. You can thank the student who saved you."

"A student saved me?"

"Yes, he had the reflex to inject you with physostigmine before calling for help. Normally we don't recommend this kind of thing if you are not a doctor but it saved your life. The blood test is done, we'll bring you something to eat right away. Any special diet? No meat? No salt?"

"No, I can eat everything."

"Good."

The little team left the room, leaving her alone in her silence. Larissa let her eyes roam the room, curious. Several bouquets were there. A huge bunch of various peonies, hawthorns, and then a small bunch of marigolds and shrubby everlasting. There were also a lot of letters, which she reached for. She had tears in her eyes when she realised that they were words from the students. She who had no family left, who thought that no one cared about her anymore, felt loved. She felt like reading everything, and started with a note written on light blue paper covered with multicoloured wolf stickers, written in glittery pink ink.

"Get well soon, Mrs. Weems! By the way, you haven't seen me I've finally wolfed out" Followed by small hand-drawn smileys "Enid."

She put the little card down and picked up another. Dark grey paper, black ink.

"The next time I involve you, I'll take Calabar beans with me, to counteract the poison. But in my book, you won't live again. I think it makes a better ending. And a character's death is a good development for the protagonist. Wednesday."

Larissa wiped away a tear with a small laugh.

"You're silly…"

They entered her room, a tray of food in hand. The principal put Wednesday's card down and looked at what had been brought in. Nothing very tasty. Rice, some sort of fishy-smelling pâté, salad and compote. Well, that's that. She would have to make do with hospital food. She ate slowly, a grimace hanging on her lips. The rice was undercooked, and the fish was overcooked. Even the salad tasted bad. In the end, the only thing right was the compote.

As she had not been given any instructions against it, she stood up. She wanted to have a closer look at the bouquets. The hawthorns had a note signed by all her colleagues and Sheriff Galpin. The peony one was a personal note from Thalia Kedlan. As for the last one, the little one of marigolds and immortals, there was nothing. No words at all. She looked at him, intrigued by this gift without a sender. Who could give her immortals and marigolds? The marigolds, she understood. They were recovery flowers. But the immortals…

Their meaning was much more vague, it could mean so many things. Nevertheless, she imagined that it had to do with the fact that she was not dead. A bouquet without a name was still troubling. Maybe it was Wednesday. But she wouldn't have given him yellow flowers. Maybe Morticia, then. No, it probably wouldn't have been that kind of flower either. Her thoughts travelled back in time.

"Rissa? Is it really Gomez you like?"

"Of course it is. Who else?"

"I don't know. I just… I thought you preferred girls…"

"Ugh, what do you take me for? It's disgusting!"

Poor Ava… Larissa thought she had been stupid on this one… She should have dealt with her feelings. That was probably the biggest regret of her years as a student at Nevermore: not being able to understand that loving women was normal. She hoped Avareida was okay. She'd obviously bought her book as soon as she'd seen her name on the cover, but had never tried to contact her again. Out of shame, no doubt, and then to say what? It had been thirty years… It would have been weird to come and say "Hi Ava, I'm not sure if you remember me. I'm sorry for being a horrible homophobe and telling you all that. I'm actually a lesbian too, haha".

She sighed. Why was she thinking about her now?

Probably because she was the only person who had ever truly loved her without an ulterior motive and without betraying her. No, Larissa had betrayed her first. She began to dream that she was the bouquet.

Ava…

The memory of her friend made her smile. She wasn't tall, Ava was 8 inches shorter than her, at the time. And then she had this joy for life. She didn't care what others thought of her, Ava just did what she liked. Larissa never had that strength. Even now, everything she did was to maintain a good image for herself and the academy. Avareïda had undoubtedly become an incredible young woman…

The next day, several of her colleagues came to see her, with a bunch of daisies and a huge cake. She felt a bit ridiculous, bedridden and in a white shirt, while everyone else was well dressed. Elizabeth Kinswelt, the divination teacher, groped for the chair they had brought her, helped by Thalia Kedlan, the history teacher. There was also Jean Lafon, the French teacher, and Amil Donove, the telekinesis teacher.

Thalia took her in her arms and gave her a warm hug.

"Welcome back!"

"Welcome back! Amil and Jean rejoined at the same time."

Larissa returned his embrace.

"Are you crying, Larissa?"

"No, Jean, it's the dust."

Thalia stepped back a little, watching her principal wipe away tears.

"I wanted to tell you, Larissa," Thalia began, "we're really glad to see you alive. The Academy wouldn't be the same without you. And you are a dear friend to our hearts."

"Stop it or I'll really cry."

"Aha, okay."

Amil put the bouquet next to the others.

"By the way, do you know who gave me these marigolds and everlastings? There's no word to go with it."

Thalia smiled at Larissa.

"A friend of mine who has just moved to the area. We met the day before yesterday morning, and as I had to come and see you, they came with me. They bought you this because they felt bad about coming without anything."

"Oh… will you thank them for me?"

"Of course I will."

"I heard that many students came to see you?" Amil asked

"Yes, I received dozens of notes. I didn't know they liked me so much."

Elizabeth, who had been silent until then, spoke up. Larissa liked her voice, always very calm. Her completely white eyes, her hair pulled back in a tight bun, gave her a gentle, wise look that the principal had always liked.

"Larissa, expect many people to tell you how much they love you."

"Is that a prophecy, Mrs Kinswelt?"

"No, Mrs Weems. I know this phenomenon. I almost died myself a long time ago."

"But it sounded like a prophecy."

"Come on, you know I don't share my prophecies. Especially not to the people most affected."

"Does that mean that you have seen things?"

"Interpret it as you wish…"

Thalia opened the box in which there was a red cake with some raspberries on top.

"It was Jean who baked this for you!"

"All this for me? Isn't it better to share it?"

"That was the idea," Jean smiled.

The car was driving along the main road. A storm was brewing and the first drops were falling on the roof.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth lifted her head from the glass. If she wasn't completely blind, you'd think she was absorbed in the scenery that was passing before her eyes on the way to her girlfriend's house.

"Yes, Dear?"

"Did you see anything about Mrs Weems?"

"Yes, I did."

There was silence in the car for a few moments.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I saw your friend. And Mrs Weems."

"Tell me more."

"You know I don't want to turn my visions into self-fulfilling prophecies."

"Come on, I won't tell them. Will you please tell me?"

"What are you offering me in exchange for this information?"

Thalia smiled, without taking her eyes off the road.

"There's not much I can do right now, but as soon as we get to my place, I'm yours."

"I saw them kissing."

"Whaaat?"

"It can mean nothing, too. It was just a kiss. Promise me you won't say anything to them or try to push them together."

"It's going to be hard, but I promise."

"Thank you, Thalia. Let them live their lives, so you won't be disappointed with the outcome."

Elizabeth rested her head against the glass. And then she saw light. A new vision was coming.

She was in the greenhouse of Nevermore. She knew it, though she had never seen it. It smelled the same as when she had gone there. On the floor was Mrs. Weems, lying there, staring into space. Elizabeth ran towards her as the door opened. She saw someone enter. Black hair slicked back, as if it were wet. All black eyes, dressed in brown. She knew it was Rei. They stopped above Mrs Weems and crouched down. Mrs Kinswelt saw the intruder check her breathing and heart before taking something from their jacket and injecting it into Larissa's neck. Then they got up and quietly went to the back of the greenhouse to steal the manchineel tree.

Then everything disappeared.

"Thalia?"

"Yes?"

"Your friend, when did they arrive again?"

"I don't know exactly. They told me it was four days ago at night. Actually, a little after the events at Nevermore. What was that for?"

"No reason."

She knew what she saw. They were the one who saved Mrs Weems. So why hide it? Because of the manchineel thing?

[cartoonishvendor]

Evil, evil, evil!!! You are EVIL and indeed a SUCCESSFUL bastard for hanging me off of this cliff like laundry. Having said that it is IMPERATIVE you provide me with more Long After Starclan lore.

anon your verbosity never ceases to amaze me!! alright then, what you wish for you shall receive!! well start right back where we left off, in Maggotblood's story!! if any of you haven't read the first post, maybe you should, because there'll be barely any recap here!!

as always, details are subject to change, especially in this section since the whole plot following is still a bit sponge-y (i don't care that it's not sponge-y in english)

(also... ask to tag? lots of dark stuff and im not sure what to tag it as)

well then, let's-a-go!!

so last time, Maggotblood received her medicina cat name and assumed her new, full position in ShadowClan. though she is still shaken a bit by her dream for a few days afterwards, her return to ShadowClan marks the first time she's felt... respected by the general clan population. sure, there were still cats who strongly disliked her (Hawthorn, for instance), and cats she was closer with (Misty, and of course Giantcloud), but overall it seemed the clan finallysaw her as an equal. at that point, however, Maggotblood was jsut already kinda done with their bullshit though and didn't bother befriend anybody she wasn't already on good terms with. she developped a tendency for impatience, especially with cats who hadn't respected her prior, but she was also plagued by quite the insecurities. being so reliant on Giantcloud, her surrogate father, she didn't really believe she could do this job by herself should it ever come down to it in the future.

well. turns out that future would come sooner rather than later. one day, about a year after Maggotblood received her new name, a patrol of cats from ThunderClan stepped into ShadowClan camp and respectfully bowed their heads. Oh, LAS ThunderClan... i scratched the surface of clan differences in my last post ever so slightly, and ThunderClan is definitely... interesting, in this regard. By a lot of means, LAS ThunderClan is similar to it's canonical counterpart, though not in the best of ways. Stereotypically, ThunderClan cats here are obsessed with legacy and bloodlines, they're practically living in their own monarchy with their current leader, Leaves, stemming from a longer line of leaders and leader's relatives. They tend to be very proud (though that could be said about all LAS Clans) and hate asking for help fro mthe outside, sometimes outright refusing it. making it all the more surprising to see them here, like this. asking for help.

their request is simple: their elderly medicine cat has passed away and the clan's apprentice, Wren, is short of becoming a full medicine cat himself, but too short to just up and go to the Moon's Deep himself and get his name. ThunderClan's request to ShadowClan is that Giantcloud, their medicine cat, stays in the ThunderClan camp for a few moons to finish Wren's training. now, the majority of ShadowClan cats present did not thinkly highly of ThunderClan, and that went both ways. it wasn't too logn ago that ThunderClan was at war with SkyClan, with ShadowClan supporting their direct neighbours who were outnumbered against ThunderClan. cats on both sides lost their lives and overall even after it was over the cats were still bitter, so a lot of cats did not want to help them, including the newly appointed deputy Hawthorn. the ShadowClan leader Grebe, however, decided to think it over.

lookie here's Grebe you may have seen her on art fight.

she's pretty young herself but barely anybody i nthe clan ever doubted her abilities as a leader, so theres little backlash remaining in camp after she decided to allow Giantcloud to temporarily move to ThunderClan camp. one of the cats who do revolt, however, is Maggotblood. she didn't want Giantcloud to leave, there was no way she could take care of the clan without him!! if he wasn't here, who'd tell her when she mixed up herbs by accident? who'd help her if she started doubting her abilities as a medicine cat like he had? who could she rely on if he wasn't there? Grebe was confident though, that Maggotblood vould do the job well. so on the same evening, Giantcloud shared a heartfelt goodbye with his former apprentice and promised to be back soon.

during that short period of time after Giantcloud left, Maggotblood already got thrown into the ful stress of managing the medicine den by herself. Larch, a queen of ShadowClan, was due to give birth and now Maggotblood had to assist in bringing her kittens into this world. it was complicated, but ultimately went over fine. or at least so they thought, more on that later.

it felt so much longer, so much more tiring than it should be, to have to be without the cat she trusts most, but finally, during the half moon, Wren received his full medicine cat name, Nettlewren. having hoped she could be there to meet up with Giantcloud, Maggotblood was a little sad when she couldn't be, as she was stuck caring for a cat with an acute infection. but, she told herself, it mattered little. after all, the next morning Giantcloud would be right here again, in the ShadowClan medicine den with her, and everything would be fine again. right?

well. fate loves to play with the unfortunate.

the next morning, Maggotblood was greeted with a traise of pawsteps and the distinct stench of ThunderClan. however, instead of her mentor's big, black pelt and kind eyes, a patrol of warriors rushed into camp, erratic, shaken up and eyes wide from shock. they were there to bring news of a body they discovered in their territory. Giantcloud's body. they all rush to the scene and in that moment, Maggotblood's world shatters completely. her mentor, her father, laid there with wounds so gruesome, his eyes open in shock, bit his body so, so cold. nobody's voice was getting through to Maggotblood. she cried and wailed out into the forest, cowered there with him and pressing her snout into his cold fur. she wouldn't leave his side, not once, not even as the cats of ShadowClan carried Giantcloud back home. he laid in the clearing, stiff, and Maggotblood didn't want to believe it, yet here he was, dead, right in front of her.

as is tradition, the elders prepared Giantcloud for the burial and dug his grave. around this time, Oriole walks into camp and gasps at the sight, a piece of fresh kill falling from her mouth. Oriole was a bit of an odd one out in ShadowClan, she is a former rogue who sought shelter in the abandoned twolegnest in ShadowClan territory (the one that is seemingly not-abandoned in canon). it was Giantcloud and Maggotblood, then Jasmin, who found her there while looking for catmint. and it was especially Giantcloud who convinced her to join the clan, as well as convinced his clanmates to let her join. though hard to convince, the clan learned of her abilities soon: photographic memory. these days, Oriole still lived at that nest instead of camp, and only had Grebe's brother Wryneck as a close friend, but she was still very friendly with Giantcloud who made it possible for her to say, making her very heartbroken at this sight. but before the elders began their procedure on Giantcloud's body, she noticed something.

she was the first to say it: those wounds look like they were from a cat. not a fox, or a badger, or even a dog. a cat. others carefully snuck closer to his body as Oriole explained her reasoning. silence followed. no more talking until the ceremony was over. at last, Giantcloud was put to rest in the ground. LAS ShadowClan cats don't hold lovely remarks at funerals. among other things, the cats present must not speak until after the sun had set or risen, depending on when the burial took place.

the last ray of sun had vanished and immediately, an uproar. a cat angrily growled at Oriole for her remarks. another joins in, loudly voicing their suspicion that it was Oriole who killed Giantcloud. Wryneck steps in. the usually quiet and introverted warrior lashes out, claiming him and Oriole both spent the night at the twolegnest together. suddenly he gets accused as well. chaos breaks loose, cats are snarling, mumbling, then yelling, about rogues and strays. Grebe is just about to step in as somebody else already does: Misty.

you may remember Misty from before. the only friend of Maggotblood's who was not a medicine cat, basically. known each other since Maggotblood was just a kit. during the whole rest of the day, Maggotblood had felt horrible. numb. she was glad nobody could talk to her, and nobody could get hurt and require her treatment, since most activities were cut shirt to only necessary patrols. she couldn't think about Giantcloud's cause of death or who killed him, she couldn't think at all! all she could do was stare blankly and recall all the things they've done together, all the times he helped her, and... she held back her helpless wails, for the sake of silence. when the uproar began she simply stepped outside and watched with a blank expression. would Giantcloud have wanted this? her stomach turned. but as soon as Misty entered her field of vision, Maggotblood could hear her words as more than just a blend of noise. She could pay attention.

why blame each other when the real enemy was apparent: it was ThunderClan who took away Giantcloud, and it was ThunderClan's territory he was found on. Misty had never been the most outstanding among her clan peers, but now everyone listened, to her unshaken confidence shining through in her speech. and soon, the fighting clan became a rallying clan, loudly exclaiming their hatred for ThunderClan. cats claiming they should have neevr trusted them in the first place, cats demanding revenge. at last, Grebe demanded silence from her clan, reminding them to honor the deceased. she would hold a clan meeting the next day. though, despite respecting the orders, the seed of hatred was planted, and Maggotblood herself was no exception. after all, it made sense, right? but, Maggotblood being who she was, this wasn't a satisfying enough answer for her. she wasn't just gonna accept that ThunderClan killed her father. she needed a name. a cat. someone who could feel the full extent of the wrath that was rising inside her.

Maggotblood would sneak into ThunderClan territory the same night, avoiding being caught by any warriors out and about at night (one of the many quirks of living in ShadowClan), to investigate the crime scene herself. however, the were no discernible scents left, only muddles ThunderClan and ShadowClan scents to be detencted. but it was still proof it couldn't have been anything other than a fellow cat, further evidenced by the lack of any big, chaotic fight. she headed back.

far quicker than her, Maggotblood's clanmates settled back into their everyday lives. death was not a rare occurance, right? they couldn't understand what his death had meant for her, not even with the side remarks of condolences from her clanmates. Misty and her words of encouragement were the only ones she accepted, Misty knew what it was like after all, to lose one's father like this. Maggotblood, too, was forced back into reality, now assuming the position of the primary medicine cat. whenever she had free time in between treating a patient, she spent it brooding, thinking of other things she could do. other ways she could find out who killed Giantcloud. the next gathering was still far away. when Oriole showed herself around camp, still getting a few side eyes from some cats, Maggotblood, in private, pressed her about her remarks at the burial, questioning whether she remembered any scents on top of her detailed visual impression of the events. she couldn't give Maggotblood an answer, didn't recall smelling anything other than death and herbs that day, but she noted how utterly stressed the she-cat seemed.

the New Moon rolled around. ShadowClan celebrates this event by having every warrior old enough who wants to join in take a walk up the stream that separated ShadowClan and SkyClan territory. then, they would all pick one stick each from a tree or one on the ground, carve it clean with their claws until all teh bark was gone, and at moon high, they would all drop their sticks into the stream and wish for things such as strength and durability. Maggotblood wished for the strength to keep going, to find out the truth behind Giantcloud's death. soon after, it turned out she'd need that strength for a lot more.

Larch, the queen who had given birth, woke up the whole camp the next morning, screaming. Maggotblood rushed to the scene and was meet with the horrible sight of Larch's daughter, dead in her nest. any and all attempts by Maggotblood to revive her came to no avail. She couldn't understand, when she was born everything seemed fine with the kitten, and even now there was no apparent reason for her to die, and yet she was dead. Maggotblood panicked, she was shocked and Larch surely did not fare better when Maggotblood confirmed her death by unknown cause. she lashed out, screamed and snapped at Maggotblood, very loudly blaming her for the death of her kitten, for all the clan to witness. Ice, her mate, heldher back from actually attacking Maggotblood, who had been cowering there, expecting to have her life ended over this, which she viewed a failure on her part. inconsolable, both of them. the night after the kitten's funeral, Maggotblood cried herself to sleep, wishing her mentor had been here, for he had not let that kitten die.

Larch was far from keen to let her other kitten alone with Maggotblood, which she had to considering the state she was still in, but Ice did his best to calm her nerves. He had been a tad nervous himself, though for other reasons. the next day, he'd find out what path his son would take in his life. to appease Larch, Ice asked if Maggotblood could take a warrior escort with the two of them to the Moon's Deep. that escort, Larch decided, would be Hawthorn's brother Toad, who could defend the patrol from any danger (putting emphasis on it which led maggotblood to believe Larch saw her as a danger as well). the past time had been rough on the whole clan, Maggotblood especially, for reasons you can imagine. she couldn't bring herself to look forward to the Half Moon night ahead of her, the thing she had always looked forward to as an apprentice, because she got to be with her friends. too much had happened. at the very least, Toad was doing his duty without antagonizing her, though she could tell he grew uncomfortable in her presence. well, she thought, at least the little kit was nice to her. just before sunset, the three of them got going and soon arrived at the end of the sandy paths and at the Moon's Deep where nests in the pit had already been in the process of being set up.

not an unusual sight, but Toad commented on the sheer size of the carpets of moss down in the pit. a she-cat arrived at the scene, respectfully bowing her head to the patrol. as neither of the two other adults recognized her, she introduced her as Flower of WindClan (which the latter they could guess from her scent already), here to accompany Lakerunner, as well as a queen here with her four kits. Maggotblood's ears perkeed up at the mention of her friend's name. after Flower voiced her condolences to the patrol, for the news of their loss had reached WindClan too, her and Toad continued setting up the nests and settling in Larch's son, as well as the queen who soon arrived with another escort. the escort would leave again, and the queen introduced herself to Toad as Nightingale, and her four kits wind up befriending Larch's son. they share insight with each other, about beliefs and superstitions of their respective cultures. larch is especially fascinated to learn that the WindClan kittens will get to pick their names after this ceremony, and the four of them are equally astounded that the ShadowClan cats can only name themselves at 6 moons of age.

meanwhile Maggotblood had set off into the surrounding nature, soon running into Lakerunner, who had looked for more nesting material. Lakerunner too had heard the news of Giantcloud's death, saddened too, as the two of them had known each other for as long as he was an apprentice too. Maggotblood broke down at the scene, confided into Lakerunner all her feelings, and all that had happened, and Lakerunner provided her with much needed reassurance and a grounded perspective of the events that had occured. after calming down a bit, after having talked through the Larch incident, the death of Giantcloud and this incredible loss, Maggotblood talked a lot about needing to find out the truth. and while Lakerunner, at first, seemed concerned, he couldn't help but promise to support her through this journey. Her suspicion that it was a ThunderClan warrior, or even a whole ThunderClan plot seemed outrageous, and that ultimately piqued his interest. after all, once Maggotblood presented him with the details, he too wanted to find out if it really was a murder or not, because somebody like Giantcloud, who had no enemies beside disease, seems like the most unlikely target.

For now though, the two of them went back to the Moon's Deep and slept through the night. Maggotblood, for the first time in moons, feeling warm, sleeping beside her friend. Larch's son would not be the next medicine cat, it turned out. though, one of Nightingale's kittens showed a potential Lakerunner would first have to go back to camp to report to both Nightingale in private, as well as his elderly mentor Ashflight. now, with this half moon over, the next thing on the agenda would be the Gathering on the full moon.

oh my god. over twice as long as the first post and still not nearly done. i already figured id have to 3-part this but it might even be a 4-parter. sowwy!!

[spacexseven]

Even if not a lot of people appreciate fitz as much as you if you want to write about him I definitely support it, while he isn't the first person I'd simp for I definitely see the appeal, I mean what's not attractive about a capitalist going on a coupon arc lmao.

Buuuut now imagine that same capitalist as the sort of 'leader' of a guild harem, if you will. He's the leader of the guild after all, so it makes sense he'd play a similar role when it comes to the guild's shared s/o. Well, "shared", it's definitely going to be difficult agreeing on things at the start.

You probably start out as someone just dating one of the guild members. Whether they wanted to hide you and keep you all to themselves or have been gushing about how wonderful you are to the others, eventually the rest of the guild finds out. And once they've gotten even the briefest of chances to meet you, they can't get enough. Soon enough, your original partner is barely getting any time with you because you're so busy with the rest of the group.

Maybe Mark is trying to show off just how good of a marksman he is, Louisa wants your opinion on what the best strategy for a successful date totally not with you is, or you've even got Lovecraft being... Romantic? In his own way, nobody's quite sure what he's trying to do but it's clear that, like all the others, he's developed an interest in you that is only growing stronger every day.

Naturally, conflict breaks out as they all struggle to get your attention. Quieter admirers like Louisa and Poe may feel they can't keep up with their more boisterous colleagues, so they start obsessing over how they can use their wits to get you alone and finally speak to you, or at least, stammer out a few compliments before they get overwhelmed. Meanwhile, more demanding figures like John and Mark are constantly butting heads, bickering right in front of you with no shame as they repeatedly beg you to just say who's your favourite, who do you love more, who will you choose - it better be one of them.

That's when Fitzgerald steps in to calm everyone down, if only because he's also struggling to win you over in the midst of all this chaos. Sure, he's doing this for his own gain, but he still wants his subordinates to be happy, so he'll make it his goal to get you to treat them as equally as possible. Besides, there's still a part of him that hopes you'll inevitably choose to only be with him over anyone else.

And after all the stress you've surely been under having so many powerful, probably mentally unstable figures vying for your attention, you just won't be able to help but be thankful to the man. You'll trust Fitzgerald, a trust that will be shared by the rest of the guild members. They know that he'll provide them all with a fair chance to win you over, and if he doesn't, even with his ability there's no way he'd be able to fight off all of them at once, so they don't feel much need to be wary of him right now.

- bestie (enjoy mr fitz enthusiast)

i'm seriously going to cry this is the best thing ever!!! you really are my bestie

i'm not sure if i want to involve margaret and hawthorne here (yet) so for now they're not here. also i believe the guild member you're likely to meet first is twain! the rest just strike me as too uninterested in things outside of work. fitz isn't married here ok!!!! let me indulge myself

this is guild x reader but with an emphasis on fitz x reader

cw yandere characters, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, jealousy, stalking, implied breaking in

so being friends with twain is fun and all, and while you know he's part of some organization, you aren't aware of the ability users in it and how dangerous they all are until much later. the thing you don't know is that he's been telling everyone about his super cute s/o, avoiding pictures of you, but happily gloating about how perfect his relationship is. as much as he gets jealous, he can't help but want to show off a little.

he brings you to their hq one day while you're out together, maybe because he's been asked to stop by immediately to pick up something. twain tells you to wait outside while he goes in to talk to mr fitz—he doesn't think he needs to be careful here yet, he doesn't think any of his coworkers would find an interest in you.

of course, fitzgerald notices you outside and asks twain to bring you in, saying it would be rude to leave you on your own in an unfamiliar place especially since he's intruding on your time together, but that's really all bullshit. he just wants a closer look at you. fitz has a close eye on his employees, and he's already known about you for a while, even using the eyes of god to track you down whenever he finds himself wanting to see you. sure, it's not love, at least, not yet—he'd call it more of...his best interests to make sure you're not a spy sent to infiltrate them. definitely not because he thinks you look cute when you're strolling down the street. maybe it was a bit weird that whenever he saw you pick out something you really like, only for your face to fall when you see the price, he instantly makes a note to buy it for you. that wasn't how he was supposed to be treating potential spies.

seeing you impressed by his office and by his presence, something inside you already aware of how important this man must be, only made his grin widen. you better stop being so cute, or else, he might just have to steal you away from twain himself. twain notices how closely his boss is eyeing you and instantly regrets bringing you along. the two of you weren't dating yet, despite all his stories to others. at this point, anyone could sweep you away. his fear only grows when the older man grabs your hand and proclaims that he would be delighted to show you around the building and enlighten you on their mission. out of everyone, of course fitzgerald would be interested in you. the man wanted everything.

it just so happens that a lot more of the guild members pop in during this time. louisa, with the plans she had been working on for mr fitz in hand, poe, with yet another successful mission report, steinbeck and lovecraft coming to see why everyone seemed to be gathered there.

and they all see you, with twain's arm around your waist and fitzgerald's hand grasping your own, stopped in the middle of his charming speech.

apart from the fact that you were a stark contrast to the rest of fitzgerald's office, something about the way you were standing in between two key members of the guild struck them all.

twain clears his throat and begins to bring you away from the room, only to be interrupted by a barrage of questions from the others. questions about who you were and why twain was holding onto you like that, but one line that struck out most to you was a comment by steinbeck.

"i thought he was lying about his partner!"

"oh," you chuckle, "we're not...like that."

for a minute the room goes eerily silent before a huge sigh of relief seemed to break it. from behind you, fitzgerald laughs heartily, pleased to have his suspicions confirmed. twain had been deluding himself the whole time, thinking the two of you were dating.

"i had a feeling twain here couldn't possibly win over someone as darling as you," he smirks, "in that case, you should come for dinner with me sometime."

you shake your head nervously, feeling overwhelmed by the change of atmosphere. it was only fitzgerald who made such a request but...something about it felt off. something told you it wasn't much of a request as it was an order.

obviously, you reject and go on with twain, still confused by why he would make up such a lie. he placates you with an excuse you're not sure you believe, but choose to stop asking questions about once he stares at you coldly. you've never known him to be so harsh.

after that, things seem to resume to normal. you don't check out the guild again for a long time, but it becomes almost normal to see the members outside of it. steinbeck stops by twain's room way too often, greeting you with a hello before taking up all your time by talking to you about everything and anything. you get a letter in the mail that twain begs you not to open despite it being sent by his friend, poe. when you go for a picnic by a lake, lovecraft walks out and joins the two of you, silent as ever. louisa waves at you from across the floor in the grocery store, though you note she looks very uncomfortable. when you go to join her, you see stacks of paper and tea in her cart.

the most shocking incident is when you walk into a boutique after glancing at something from outside, only to be greeted by fitzgerald, who had just happened to buy the company and offers you everything inside for free. you say no again, but his smile doesn't drop.

what really convinces you to take him up on his offer is when you wake up one morning to find a cup of tea and a book on your table. neither of which you had in your home, but you knew where you had seen that cup and you recognized the author on the book. when you glance out the window, something about the trees outside and the lake a little while away sends shivers down your spine. despite tom and finn appearing out of nowhere to convince you otherwise, you find yourself reaching around for that card fitzgerald gave you, keying in the numbers he scrawled on top of the printed design.

[marvelcriminalhoe]

Paper Rings

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Chapter 6

A Days Old Bet

i.e. Season 9 Episode 11

TW: typical criminal minds case jargon, some mentions of passed bulling, think thats it.

AN: Thanks for reading! :)

Word Count: 2,800

Series Masterlist

A routine started after the case in Chicago, one that lead to you and your boss developing a stronger bond and friendship. Late dinners after cases turned into early morning coffee breakfasts before work. It even lead to Hotch telling you to call him Aaron outside of work, which was, weird, and great. You met Jack one weekend when Hotch Aaron, invited you over for lunch. The 8 year old was energetic and kind, something you expect most from an 8 year old. What you didn't expect was how different Aaron is at home. Sure, you’ve gotten to know him a bit more outside of work, seeing the sarcastic humor he usually hides away in the office, but at home, as a dad, the man was more open than you ever would have imagined. It only made your slightly inappropriate crush on the man more prominent, and much harder to hide.

Like now, sitting on the jet, trying your hardest to keep your eyes from wandering over to where he is sitting across from Blake. Thankfully, he stands and wants to gather everyones attention, so your staring is warranted, “All right. Can I have your attention, everyone?”

Once everyone is looking at him, he turns to the monitor where your blonde tech genius friend is waiting patiently, “Go ahead, Garcia.”

“Alrighty then. Last night in Kansas City, 50 year old David Morrison was beaten to death when he was out jogging. Information is on your tablets right now.”

You open the tablet laying on the table in front of you, looking over the crib scene photos. “It looks brutal.” You comment.

“Classic overkill.” Rossi agrees.

“He was found stripped and wearing women's underwear, that I’m assuming weren't his.” Reid goes over.

Garcia confirms, “Yeah. All of his clothes were found nearby, his skivvies included.”

“Any other victims, Garcia?” Morgan questions.

“That is a big maybe.” She informs you, “Meet Tommy Barnes and Melissa Hawthorne, also on your tablets. A year ago they disappeared from a house party and were found beaten in much the same fashion.”

“But there were two of them and they’re considerably younger.” Reid speculates.

JJ nods her head, “Yeah, and what about the women’s underwear? I mean that’s a pretty specific ritual aspect.”

“These two were found fully clothed. Are we sure that it’s the same unsub?” Morgan asks.

“My dad thinks it is.” Blake states.

“Your dad’s a captain on the Kansas City police force, right?” Morgan asks her.

“Retired.” Blake shrugs.

“But your brother’s a cop, too.” JJ points out.

Blake nods, “Scott. He’s a homicide detective. But my dad is the one who made the call.”

Your brows draw down, “If he’s retired, that’s not exactly an official invitation.”

“No,” Aaron looks over at you, “But he’s got lots of influence.”

JJ cringes, “Well, maybe we should wait for the invite. We can’t just force ourselves on local jurisdictions.”

“What if it’s actually serial, though?” You ask. If this is serial, and you can get ahead of it, then you think you should. Your job is to save lives, you might be able to do that here. It’s at least worth looking into.

JJ shrugs, “We’ll go back if they ask us to.”

“Look,” Blake gets everyones attention, “My dad’s a great cop, and he’s almost never wrong. I mean, it drives me crazy, but it’s true.”

“We don’t know exactly what we’ve got here,” Aaron says, “I’ll have the pilot reroute us to Kansas City.”

“Hey, sorry for interrupting.” You walk into the office where Hotch, Blake, her brother and father are. Hotch waves off your apology, “I just got off the phone with Rossi, and he says the guy has to have an intense amount of rage and hate to do what he did to Mr.Morrison.”

Hotch thanks you, before introducing you to Blake’s family. “This is Damon Miller, Blake’s father.” You shake his hand as he sticks it out for you.

“I’m Detective Scott Miller.” Blake’s brother comes around his desk, offering his hand as well. You shake it, sending him a smile. He sends one back, his hand lingering on yours a little longer than necessary. You don’t think anyone notices other than you, but one look at Hotch tells you he did. He looks from your hand to Scott, before looking back at you, “Would you mind calling in Mr.Barnes, have him come in for an interview in an hour?”

Hotch’s voice is a bit harder than normal, but you chalk it up to the obvious cynicism Blake’s brother has with us entering the case. “Sure.” You nod, watching him for a minute as his gaze doesn't waver from you, before excusing yourself from the room.

You watch from the other side of the office window as Blake and her brother interview Mr.Barnes. You wonder what happened for their relationship to be so hostile. Hotch settles in next to you, watching the interview as well, “Siblings aren't always close.” He tells you, as if reading your mind.

“I know that.” You look over at him, taking in his side profile, “But their so similar, makes you wonder.”

“I know.” Hotch smiles over at you, “I bet they’ll make up by the end of the case.”

You raise an eyebrow, “You bet? What are we, 12? And what exactly do you win with this bet?” You tease.

“Guess we’ll just have to find out.” A small smirk plays on his lips as he gets up, schooling his features back into professional business mode, walking over to Blake who’s finished in the office. You read her lips as she speaks to him. This case just turned serial, you’ve officially been invited.

“We should cross check our list of recently released ex-cons again.” JJ says to the team, everyone gathered around the case bored in the conference room you were given. You’re standing in between Morgan and Hotch.

“Me and Garcia checked the list twice already.” Hotch moves to cross his arms over his chest, his hand briefly brushing against yours, shoulders bumping together, Morgan’s phone rings, “Nobody matches the profile.”

Morgan answers his phone, putting it on speaker for everyone to hear, “Hey, Baby Girl, you got the whole crew. Go ahead.”

“Ok, here’s some skinny on Jefferson High.” Garcia’s delicate voice comes through, “Really great football team, state champ two years in a row— go, bulldogs!”

You roll your eyes, a small smile on your face. One thing Garcia is god at, is keeping the atmosphere light, even on an intense case. You share a side place with Hotch as Garcia continues, “The only notable thing that has happened at that high school in the last 10 years besides the murder of our first two victims, is the death of another student, Riley Wilson, 4 years ago.”

You pull out your tablet, some of the others following your lead. Hotch moves behind you a little bit, not getting his out, and instead deciding to read yours over your shoulder. He’s much closer to you now, you’re able to feel the warmth radiating off his body. You’re drawn back into whats important instead of how much you would like to lean into his warmth, the case, when Reid reads his tablet out loud.

“He wrapped his car around a telephone pole.”

Garcia comes through the phone again, “Yeah. There was a lot of speculation of it being a suicide. Tox report was clean. He was totally sober.”

“He was a senior and got straight ‘A’s.” You read through his school records. Hotch reaches his arm around you, sliding the file on the tablet over, causing you to hold your breath for a moment as he reads the next page, “Nothing in his disciplinary file.”

You’re again, drawn back to the case by Reid’s voice, “He was at Jefferson the same time as David and Laurie.”

“Garcia, we need a list of every student and employee at Jefferson while Riley Wilson was a student.” Hotch requests.

“Parents and family members too, Garcia.” Morgan adds.

“Complying the list now.” You hear typing on her end, “It is a lot of names. I will hit you back ASAP.”

You’re in the car with Hotch, Reid, and Blake, sitting in the passenger seat while Hotch drives. You’re phone is on speaker as it rings, dialing Mr.Ramsey.

“Hello?” Mr.Ramsey answers the phone.

You speak up, taking the lead since Hotch is driving, “Yes, is this Harold Ramsey?”

“Yes, Speaking.”

“Hello, Mr.Ramsey.” You introduce yourself, using your SSA credentials, “I’m with the FBI.”

“FBI?” He questions. You hear something tapping on the other side of the phone, then what sounds like glass breaking and shouting. You look over at Hotch, both having the same look, “Mr.Ramsey?” You ask.

Grating sounds follow the other end, your only answer, Hotch speaks up next, “Mr.Ramsey.”

You share another look with Hotch as the line goes dead.

You should drive fast.

What does it look like I’m doing?

Just trying to be helpful.

Hotch steps on the gas, amusement flashing through his eyes very briefly for your shared, silent conversation. When you arrive in front of the High school, Hotch immediately goes into Unit Chief mode, talking to the team and the local officers. “We’ll split up into 3 groups, We’ll go room to room, and we’ll all meet back in the main hallway.”

“Because we’re back where it all started with Underwood, this is likely his endgame.” Rossi adds.

You continue next, “Which means there’s no telling how far he’ll go to play this thing out, so everyone needs to be aware and be safe.”

Walking behind Hotch, weapon drawn and raised, you tackle the first floor and the rooms. As you get near the end of the hallway, the staircase coming into view, you hear Underwood say something, along with grunting. Hotch raises his hand, stoping you and the group from continuing forward. As Underwood and Mr.Ramsey come into view, Hotch starts, “Ronald Underwood, FBI. Drop the weapon.”

You move to the side as Underwood drags Ramsey infant of him gun pointed at his head. “Let him go, Ronald.” You command.

“He has to know how it felt.” Underwood says. You can see some of the other team come up the stairs from your position. “He has to know hot it felt.”

You lower your voice, making it softer, “I think he does. Look at him.” “Let him go.” Rossi orders.

Underwood ignores us, “He should have stopped it.”

“We know why you’re doing this, Ronald.” Hotch tells him, “What happened to Riley wasn't your fault.”

Underwood is silent for a moment, “Nobody stopped it. Nobody did anything.”

“You did.” You try to relate to him somehow.

“You’re damn right.” Underwood seethes, “And they got what they deserved.”

“But nobody else needs to die.” You tell him. “You’ve got to leave the past in the past.”

“He was the only friend I ever had.” His voice shakes. You feel for him, you do. You know how it was to grow up on the outside, you graduated high school at 12 for goodness sakes.You didn’t have friends your age until you were 20 and Graduated from Harvard, moving into an apartment of your own. “I know he was. But it’s all over now, Ronald.” You keep using his first name, trying to humanize him.

You watch him contemplate his options, everyone on the team on edge, multiple people ready to take the shot. He makes the right choice though, pouching Ramsey away from him and dropping to his knees, his hands in the air. Morgan and Rossi move forward to apprehend him while JJ and Reid check on Mr.Ramsey.

Outside, watching as the local officers take Underwood out, escorting him to one of the cruisers, you look around at the front of the school, some of your own memories coming in.

“Reliving the glory days?” You hear from behind you.

You don’t have to turn to know it’s Hotch, instead letting out a low hum, “More like getting war flashbacks.”

Hotch chuckles softly, “I don’t think high school is good for anyone.”

“No.” You shake your head, agreeing with him, “But it’s definitely better for some, more than others.”

“Come on.” He touches your upper arm gently, nodding his head towards the cars when you look over at him. You follow him to one of the SUV’s. It’s only you and him in the vehicle on the way back, Blake’s dad having stopped to giver her a ride. You look out the window for the majority of it, watching everything pass by, too far into your own head and memories. HSAM has its advantages, sure. You’ve never forgotten a face. You remember everyones birthday or anniversary. You can recall an exact conversation you had with someone and the date in which it occurred. It comes in handy with jobs like yours.

But there are downsides that present themselves on nights like tonight. Disheartened memories that will forever plague your mind. The mockery of laughter can echo in your ear. You can recall entire events in your head. Feel the exact emotions you felt during them. It’s nights like tonight, that your little ‘gift’, feels more like a curse.

“You did good tonight.” Hotch’s voice is subtle, as if he knows your in your head and doesn't wish to frighten you, but want’s to help you move onto something else.

“Thanks.” You mumble.

He looks over at you as you sit forward, “I mean it. You’re really growing into your own as an agent. The team is lucky to have you.”

That gets a true smile out of you, sending it towards him, “Thanks Hotch.” He raises a brow at you, making you laugh. Although you still have to pack up at the precinct, the case is over, and you are the only two in the car. “Thanks, Aaron.” You drag out his name mockingly. He rolls his eyes at your behavior, but a small smile stays on his lips as well. The rest of the drive much lighter and happier.

The team is at Blake’s dads house, around the backyard. Everyone has a beer, talking amongst themselves in small groups. Blake’s dad is by the grill with Morgan and Rossi. JJ, Blake, and Reid are laughing over Garcia’s flirting with Scott. You’re sitting in one of the lawn chairs watching it all. Hotch comes out the backdoor of the house, new beer in his hand, and you watch as he makes his way to the lawn chair beside yours.

He follows your line of site, shaking his head at Garcia practically feeling up Scott’s arm, Blake shooing her hand away. “You know they made up on the way over here.”

Your brows draw down, looking over at him. It takes you only a second to recall the conversation you had days prior, “Guess that means you win the bet.”

“Guess it does.” He replies smugly, smirk on his lips.

You sigh dramatically, rolling you head over to look at him, “And what is it you win?”

Hotch looks over at you, raising his beer to his lips, taking a long, slow sip from it. His eyes look you up and down. When he pulls the beer away, his smirk still rests on his lips, “Dinner.”

“You want dinner?” You question him, not following.

Hotch nods, “Friday. I’ll pick you up?”

Now, any other circumstance, you wouldn't think anything of it. The past two months since Chicago, you’ve had dinner with him a handful of times. Usually in his office late at night when the both of you are still working, but occasionally, he’s invited you over for dinner at his apartment with him and Jack. All of these were extremely casual though, just two friends/coworkers eating together. Sure, there’s been some light flirting between the two of you, harmless teasing, maybe a few longing looks shared, but nothing has ever crossed the line passed professional curtsey. Not like this. You almost want to ask if he’s drunk, but you know he’s not.

Still, his question leaves you momentarily breathless, but Hotch isn't deterred by your silence. Instead, he watches you sort through all the thoughts in your head, patiently waiting for your answer. “Okay.” You finally manage to get out, butterflies rising in your stomach at the prospect of this weird thing you and Him have been dancing around actually coming to fruition.

“Good.” Aaron stands, smiling down at you, “I’m looking forward to it.”

He doesn't wait for a reply, walking over to the grill, striking up conversation with the group immediately, leaving you with even more thoughts.

Yeah, I’m looking forward to it too.

********

taglist: @buckyswintersoldiermask @ssahotchnerxx @bestillmystuckyheart @eternal-silvertongued-prince @honeyofthegods @pitchblackstars @averyhotchner @hotched @mintphoenix @natasharomanoff1984-blog

[skullsandwineglasses]

Ancient Love Poetry (2021) - Episodes 1-3 First Impressions

This is not bad so far. I’ve seen a lot of mixed reactions about this drama, but it’s actually pretty decent. I heard that it’s being ripped apart by audiences in China, but some people on reddit mentioned that the drama is actually good, but people are just critical of Zhou Dongyu and Xu Kai. AvenueX was skeptical of the drama, but I find that her reviews of xianxia dramas can be kinda harsh. The drama hasn’t finished airing yet so there aren’t many ratings and reviews on MDL, but the drama currently has an 8.3 on there, which I think is a pretty decent rating even though it’s likely to change as more people finish the drama. Most of the dramas that I’ve enjoyed also average at around an 8.3 on MDL. 

Plot

The plot is pretty fast-paced. The leads develop feelings for each other really early on. The opening does a good job of establishing the personalities of the characters and drawing you into the story. A drama will successfully draw me in if it raises enough questions and establishes enough plot points to make me curious to see what will happen next.

The FL has a different background from the FLs in other xianxia dramas. Shang Gu is destined to become the leader of the 4 realms, but she’s been spoiled by her guardians Zhi Yang and Tian Qi, so her powers are underdeveloped. The FLs in other xianxia dramas tend to start off as a nobody/underdog, but Shang Gu starts off as the most highly regarded figure in the realm. She’s basically a princess. Her guardians are played by Li Ze feng and Liu Xue Yu respectively, and they’ve always had such strong performances as supporting characters in other dramas, so it was a pleasant surprise seeing them both here. Their characters have great brotherly chemistry, and they provide comedic relief. 

The ML is your stereotypical stoic, brooding, emotionally suppressed, and powerful immortal. He has no interest in women, that is until he’s tasked by Zhi Yang and Tian Qi to be Shang Gu’s mentor in order to help her unlock her powers. All the women in the immortal realm crush over him, but he couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. Very typical. 

Chemistry

The ML and FL’s relationship reminds me of Bai Zhi Hua and Hua Qian Gu’s teacher-student relationship in Journey of Flower, which was the first xianxia drama that I watched. But, unlike Journey of Flower, Bai Jue and Shang Gu are less like teacher-student, but more like bickering enemies who eventually develop feelings for each other. 

My issue is that they develop feelings for each other too soon. And so I don’t really feel much chemistry between them, even though I want to. Bai Jue teaches her a few moves, helps her unlock her inner powers, they accidentally touch and get too close physically, and bam, feelings start to form. These are immortals who are thousands of years old. How are they able to develop feelings so easily and quickly? Especially Bai Jue who’s know by everyone to be lofty, emotionless, and misogynistic? 

There was only one moment when they were able to emotionally bond, and that was when Bai Jue misunderstood Shang Gu. Shang Gu was trying to fulfill the challenge he gave her, but he mistakenly thought that she was greedy. When he realized he misunderstood her, he began to soften towards her. But this event alone wasn’t convincing enough to make me believe that someone as cold as he is could fall for a spoiled and obnoxious girl like Shang Gu. 

They could have made it so that his character secretly enjoys Shang Gu’s loud antics because it makes his home more lively. That’s usually how they do it in other xianxia dramas where the bubbly FL is the manic pixie dream girl who uproots the ML’s quiet lifestyle and he falls for her against his better judgment. But no, they don’t do that in Ancient Love Poetry, so Bai Jue falling for Shang Gu felt forced. 

Acting

I’ve loved Zhou Dongyu since seeing her in the 2010 film Under the Hawthorn tree. But because I’ve seen people criticize her in Ancient Love Poetry, I was prepared to be disappointed. But honestly, it’s not that bad. Even her costuming isn’t that bad. She’s not impressive, but then again, it’s not an impressive or complex role. A lot of actresses are capable of playing her type of character, and a lot of actresses already have. But Zhou Dongyu delivers, and she does well with what she’s given. 

Xu Kai isn’t terrible, but he could definitely be better. Like what I mentioned above, his character is the stereotypical xianxia ML. And so there have been plenty of actors before him who have shown how to portray a cold, stoic, and resistant character who’s slowly moved by the FL: Cheng Yi in Love and Redemption, Wallace Huo in Journey of Flower (although he also got a lot of flack at the time for being expressionless), and Chang Chen in Love and Destiny. The key to playing this kind of ML is that you’re emotionally suppressed, which means that you try to be emotionless, but there are moments when you can’t hide your emotions and they break to the surface. It’s all about the internal struggle where you pretend to act one way but feel another. As an actor, you need to be able to convey subtle and nuanced microexpressions that reveal how your character truly feels. 

Granted, Bai Jue is a little different from Bai Zhi Hua and Sifeng who forbade themselves from falling in love, but Bai Jue is more like Jiu Chen and Ye Hua who just have never known love before and is now experiencing it for the first time. But for all of these MLs, the common thread is that they undergo a change in character. In these first 3 episodes of Ancient Love Poetry, we keep being told by other characters in the drama how Bai Jue has changed “so much” since agreeing to mentor Shang Gu, but I don’t see this change in Xu Kai’s portrayed of Bai Jue. 

On reddit, I’ve mentioned how I've seen Xu Kai in The Legends and Arsenal Military Academy and IMO, Xu Kai doesn't really do well in roles where he has to be stoic and emotionally reserved. But he did really well in AMA where his character was a flirty, spoiled rich kid who eventually matures during his time at the academy, and it made me realize that he's capable of acting when given the right opportunity. His character was full of life and the complete opposite of his character in The Legends. He can be really expressive when his character warrants it, but when the character is supposed to be brooding, he doesn't bring enough nuance to his expressions and instead defaults to being flat and unmoving.

I also feel that Xu Kai’s performance was a little better in The Legends than in Ancient Love Poetry, but then again, I’ve only seen 3 episodes of ALP. I don’t know if it’s because his costar was Bai Lu and he felt more comfortable with her, or if it’s because Bai Jue is a character who’s supposed to be old, experienced, and wise, and Xu Kai is still too young to pull off that kind of role. He also looks incredibly young. He’s my age, and I’m just in awe of how clear his skin is and how it still looks like he has some baby fat. I’m also not a fan of his costuming. I like how Zhou Dongyu’s hair frames her face to make her look more delicate, but Xu Kai’s wig seems to flatten his head. I also think he looks better in dark robes like in The Legends, or his leather trenchcoat in AMA. He looked more rugged. But his white clothes in Ancient Love Poetry takes away from his character’s demeanor as a powerful immortal, and unlike Wallace Huo who’s older and thus is able to pull off dainty and delicate white robes, Xu Kai’s baby face doesn’t really pair well with it. 

Other notes:

The CGI is probably some of the better CGI that I’ve seen to date, and I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty impressed. Objects magically appear and disappear almost seamlessly, and characters teleport smoothly. 

Still waiting for the OST to come into full effect. It probably won’t happen until later in the drama when there’s more angst and emotion, but I also find it weird that they don’t have an opening theme? It’s just Zhou Shen singing some vocal effects, but no actual song. 

Overall, I’m going to keep watching. I’m a sucker for xianxia, and I love comparing the similarities and differences between different dramas, so I’m looking forward to seeing how this goes and whether it’s as bad as people say it is. 

[dappersheep]

Food Fantasy: An Analysis on what killed a Golden Goose (1/3)

So first things first, disclaimers! I do not claim nor pretend to know every nook and cranny, ins and outs of the history of FooFan's conception, existence and uncertain future. I do not own the game nor its characters, only the opinions and thoughts stated hereon out.

This was born to vent out my frustrations with how a game like this was abused poorly by its own developer and publisher instead of being nurtured to become its full potential that could have overshadowed and remained better than the likes of Tencent's Tales of Food --I could dream, but it honestly had the potential to be.

Out of respect for the main tag, I personally will not be tagging this post and the following two with the main tag. If you want to tag it yourself with it, that's your choice. Only followers of my blog will see this.

This analysis is divided into three parts: Funtoy, Elex, and the Community. It starts under the cut. Well let's get started.

Funtoy

Ah yes, the creator. The developer. You'd think that with their sudden rise to fame during their global launch, they'd have used the massive profits they earned within the first quarter of 2018 to improve certain things about the game and then trickled it down as quickly as possible towards Global, right? Yeah, I thought so too.

After playing the game since launch, I've seen and experienced way too many things that just hammer in the fact that this is one of the most unfair gacha I've played in years. Some reasons being the following:

(Note: These are experiences ONLY on Global's version, it may also apply to CN being the original server)

⦁ The game's gacha model is aimed towards maximum predation on its players. F2p are forced to either spend some money (and thus tempt them to keep spending after getting a taste of it), or risk not even getting a good ascension of the unit to be useful at all. Paying for the event packs also doesn't guarantee that you would be able to secure a spot in the ranks. In fact, if you can't comprehend how the battle mechanics work, you could even de-rank. Fun way to burn that 800$, huh? At least you have the skin from rebates.

⦁ A little less known thing and probably theoretical at worst, the long joked about spaghetti coding of the game along with an outdated spine technology for the sprites could very well be the reason why a 2D game like this experiences the shittiest lags. Also how easy it is to hack this game with the right know-how.

⦁ Speaking of bad gameplay mechanics, did you know you could spend over fifty Mirrors and not get that final enhancement from +9 to +10 simply because there's absolutely no tangible safety net before +10?

⦁ If you're F2P, this game is terrible in giving you resources to stockpile. Because Funtoy certainly doesn't have a lot of weekly/monthly or even friendly events wherein you can get resources without spending another kind of resource. The Hawthorne event's rewards are lackluster at best, Bingo is severely limited in what it gives, and Recall also doesn't give much for a big event that only happens (supposedly) every 6 months. Did I also mention that daily resource rewards also kinda suck compared to how much you burn in just one event?

⦁ Monthly subs are a scam. Yes, you heard that right. My point of comparison here is Arknights. A monthly in AK allows you to have enough to 10-pull after 30 days, on top of a bit of stamina to help you. In FooFan? You have two monthly subs that do different things and even then, you won't have enough to 10-pull by the end of 30 days, nor is the stamina you get enough to even stockpile and ease the pressure of your need to save for the Gates or that stamina event that suddenly popped up.

⦁ A conga line of 'Must procure this unit at a high ascension to do well in the following events!'. You missed the first Pizza event? Missed the first Turkey event? God forbid, you weren't able to 5* your Beer on his debut? Well sorry, that 5* Black Tea of yours isn't gonna do squat to give you good damage. No, your 2* B-52 also isn't going to do much of anything with his lackluster damage capabilities. If you want a chance to get those event URs again, you have to wait for their pool with laughably limited pulls... and a bloated price to even pull.

⦁ The events starting after the first iteration of Turkey event get even more paywalled. As far as I remember, by the time Minestrone rolled around, an F2P with ample crystal resources can only get 2* at best. 3* and above are paywalled.

⦁ The game has incompetent balancing. The devs themselves likely have little experience in gameplay design and balancing, especially for a game with a growing roster of characters . A prime example of them launching a character not knowing it would pretty much unbalance the game? Look no further than Beer. The guy had to have a couple of nerfs done to him because he was just too meta. You know what's sadder? Before the 'switch' to Brave meta, almost all meta units was built to benefit off the Beer meta.

⦁ Artifacts. Do I even have to explain how the introduction of such a game feature so early into the lifespan of this game essentially fucked over the balance even more? Not to mention, all the more reason you'd be crying with the Gates of Trials demanding so much out of your stamina and crystal resources. F2Ps are again, the ones that suffer in this part. What's their reason? Profit, of course.

⦁ The nerf of resto chests. This was the primary source for people who were saving up stamina for the Gates... until Funtoy decided they were being too generous to their playerbase and dropped the stamina probability rate to 1% or less.

⦁ Terrible UI layout and design. Come on, be honest now, you've lost several thousand of your hard earned crystals buying screws in the fishing shop because you didn't notice that shiny warning in small text and a green button with the crystal image slapped on it, didn't you?

⦁ Look at all these SRs! All of them! Wow, they even outnumber the Rs by at least 80! What's that? There's more URs now too compared to Rs and Ms combined? That can't be real. But seriously, you'd think Funtoy could make some of these SRs into Rs and add them to the perm pool/shard fusion so people aren't stuck pulling Macaron or Dorayaki every time. They could have also populated the Team Up rewards with SRs instead of Rs. But you know... that won't bring them profit. Haha... haha.... Oh and I haven't even told you about the SP class...!

⦁ Lore. Yes, I'm sure by now you're aware that the in-game lore is different from the ones in the non-SP Food Soul bios, in the SP Food Soul bios that sort of ties in with the New World story (that global will never be getting btw). At this point, Funtoy handwaves the confusion away by saying, 'they're all different timelines'. Yes yes, an easy and cliche move to explain how shitty the writing direction went after a while. I don't know what happened, all I know is that lore got weird(er) when they introduced SP Rice.

⦁ They. Keep. Adding. More. Characters! They fail to see that a lot of their earlier players have imprinted on the first few waves of Food Souls and they sadly also fail to properly give some of them more story expansion... or skins. At the moment, they're shelling out so many JP-centric Food Souls because... as I see it? They're pandering to the last bastion of whales they have.

⦁ Merchandise. And I mean a variety of merchandise that isn't using the same official art every time. Like they couldn't afford to commission a couple of artists one or two times to make unique merchandise that would sell. They started too late on that train, and they even made it too hard for anyone not in CN or JP to even procure what already exists. Not to mention, they keep using the same 'popular' set of characters for their merchandise and never really expanding out to making merch for other characters.

These are all the things I can list off at the top of my head why Funtoy as a developer sucks ass. They could sweeten their words all they want, it won't change the fact that they've certainly made way too many bad decisions and found out about it too late, and now they're desperate to keep Food Fantasy alive to keep their profits coming in to make whatever that cat girl game they have and that supposedly 'side-game' FF2 they announced.

There may have been problems out of their control that I or you do not see, but one thing is for sure, they were blinded by greed for the money they were raking in on all their servers at the start, and never actually bothered to invest in more manpower in the right places to improve the game, both gameplay-wise and worldbuilding wise. It's actually saddening that this game could have been so much more with several QoLs and a more fleshed out lore, perhaps even spacing out the number of new units they keep introducing while going back to giving their old units more attention.

That's it for Funtoy. We're moving onto Elex in the next part and boy is that also a trip.

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 27

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 27 - Soul-Catcher

Enemies and friends were actually pretty interchangeable. For example, Lin Yan had to be on his guard with this ghost before, but when a new enemy appeared, it was the first time that he truly felt he and Xiao Yu were on the same side. Lin Yan glanced at the dimly lit hut, his head resting on Xiao Yu's chest. His slightly cool body temperature made him think an inexplicable thought; that he actually felt safe because of the presence of this ghost that never left him alone.

"What happened?" Xiao Yu held the back of Lin Yan's head.

"It's. . . it's nothing" Lin Yan blushed. He broke out from Xiao Yu's arms, hiding his head down and looking at the photo that the old man had given him. He had such a dull expression that it looked like the black and white picture had been taken after he had died. As he took a closer look, the place where the girl in the red coat had been standing wasn't completely empty. Lin Yan aggressively wiped the picture. A thin cloud of gray mist hovered around his legs. If he wasn't actively looking for it, he would've chalked it up to the old quality of the picture.

"Pea cakes, hawthorn jelly, fruitcakes, water chestnut cake, rolling donkeys, glutinous rice cakes." The vendor pushing the cart selling treats noticed Lin Yan standing by himself. He picked up a rag and wiped the glass window of the cart, shouting more enthusiastically. "Would you like to try some?"

The dry, dazzling sunlight shone down. The vendor's voice seemed like it was coming from another world, too distant to be clearly distinguished.

Things were moving in an unpredictable direction. Lin Yan shook his head and dragged Xiao Yu forward aimlessly, wracking through his brain. The first time he saw the little girl was in the hallway of his apartment building. There had been a problem with the elevator that day and he climbed the stairs to the twelfth floor. At the corner of the third-floor hallway, he saw the little girl climbing onto the handrail to play. Later, he would meet her downstairs almost every time he went home. Once Lin Yan arrived home just when the kids had just gotten out of school and large groups of students were playing football in the yard. He hadn't paid attention to the little girl sitting on her own. Now that he thought about it, he had never seen her talk to anyone.

It seemed like it had been a while since he last saw the little girl.

When did this start? Lin Yan walked with his head down, kicking a small stone as he walked. The corner of his eyes flicked across Xiao Yu's embellished hem, a bright white fabric decorated with a greenish emerald dragon spread out underneath the moire belt hanging down, swaying as he stepped. Lin Yan hesitantly cast his gaze towards the ghost next to him. The memory of Xiao Yu appearing on that rainy night resurfaced. When Lin Yan rushed out of his apartment in terror, he saw the little girl standing in the rain, sucking on her thumb and looking at him. If he hadn't been threatened by a ghost, he would've asked why she was standing alone outside on a rainy day.

From that day on, Lin Yan's life completely changed. He thought silently, ever since Xiao Yu had started following him, the girl in the red coat hadn't shown up again.

A thought jolted across his mind. Lin Yan almost couldn't stand still. He shook as he took his phone out of his pocket and dialled Yin Zhou's number.

'Beep. . . beep. . .' Pick up the phone, pick up the phone, Lin Yan silently urged.

". . . Lin Yan?" After ringing seven times, Yin Zhou's tired voice came from the phone: ". . . I'm sleeping. I'm hanging up if this isn't important."

Lin Yan breathed a sigh of relief. He clamped the phone between his ear and shoulder while pulling out his car keys and asked; "A-Zhou, do you remember what Second Immortal Gu told us the last time we asked her to drive away a ghost?"

"The old lady was just trying to scam a few bucks off us. . ." Yin Zhou reluctantly grumbled: "I think she said there was a little girl who didn't have any clothes or money to pay to get to the underworld, and then she poured water all over you. Complete bullshit."

Lin Yan's heart dropped: "Then Second Immortal Gu died and her time of death was deliberately changed."

"Yeah." Yin Zhou yawned: "Did you find something?"

Lin Yan dragged Xiao Yu towards the parking lot and harshly slammed the car door: "She wasn't talking bullshit. There really was a little girl in red following me. I took a picture with her but the developed picture didn't have her in it."

"Holy shit!" Yin Zhou was completely awake and bounced off the bed: "Are you kidding me? Another ghost?!"

"I'm not sure yet." Lin Yan turned the key to start the car, staring at the windshield, "That hand, it slapped the windshield when we went to see Second Immortal Gu and we almost got into a car accident. It didn't seem right to me when it happened, but it disappeared so fast, I couldn't see it."

"Now that I think about it, the hand was too small. It's not the ghost that lives in my house at all." Lin Yan glanced at Xiao Yu. "I also saw the little girl the day I went to meet you in the bar. At that time, I thought she was alive. I think she was the reason I was stuck in that loop on the road and she was the one behind Second Immortal Gu's death."

"I'll go ask A-Yan later on. Keep an eye out for anything."

Yin Zhou was silent for a while: ". . . Stay safe."

Lin Yan hung up the phone and carefully backed the car out of the parking space. The market in Shenjiyuan closed early. A group of vendors surged out from the entrance with the earnings from the day like a school of fish swimming by Lin Yan's car window. The jade shop by the side of the road screeched by on its grinding wheels. Lin Yan sighed and clutched the steering wheel, waiting for the crowd in front of them to disperse. When he turned to look at Xiao Yu, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

"It's always been you, hasn't it?" Lin Yan whispered.

"The night I first met you, I drove around the overpass for three hours and didn't find the exit until I saw you."

The patter of light rain, the lonely figure standing under the streetlamp like they were waiting for a promise that could never be fulfilled.

"At that time, I thought I was lost because of you. I didn't think that you were the one to help me get out of there." Lin Yan recalled how he had been circling around the overpass like a headless fly. He found it all kind of funny now. The ghost that scared him half to death now shared his house, shared his passenger seat and even shared his occasional uncontrollable sexual desires.

Xiao Yu rubbed his fingers against his temple, trying to remember. A-Yan said that ghosts who had just returned to the human world were in a state of confusion. They would keep searching for the reason why they were stuck in the human world with very few memories of their previous lives. Some of them were able to remember and reincarnate easily while others weren't successful, their resentment growing stronger and stronger. Lin Yan grabbed his hand and held it, feeling a little depressed, and murmured: "Forget it, don't worry about it."

He couldn't help but chuckle bitterly: "You've got your hands full now. Someone's trying to kill me before you get to."

". . . You're mine." Xiao Yu said slowly, pulling his hand back.

"I'm not." Lin Yan said. He didn't know why he was so stubborn every time this topic came up: "Even now, I'm not sure who you are or where you want to take me. A month ago I was a complete atheist, but now I've now more ghosts than people. My life is already a mess and today I ran into a little girl that almost killed me on a highway."

Lin Yan started getting choked up. He sniffed. For some reason, he felt a strong feeling of outrage: "Who did I provoke? Why won't they just let me live my life?"

Xiao Yu held Lin Yan's shoulders and rubbed his chin against his forehead. Lin Yan gritted his teeth and the stinging in his eyes grew more intense.

"I'm going to ask A-Yan about the little girl later. Xiao Yu, don't move. Let me rest for a minute." Lin Yan wrapped his arms around his waist and curled into Xiao Yu's arms. "I'm exhausted. "

Long, slender fingers stroked through his hair. They were cold but the gesture was very gentle: "Don't worry, I'm here."

"I know." Lin Yan played with the crimson silk belt around Xiao Yu's waist and let out a chuckle: "Save me for yourself. Don't let someone else kill me."

Lin Yan buried his face in Xiao Yu's chest. If he had heard that a month ago, he would've thought he was out of his mind, but now he said it sincerely as if he meant it when he tried to reassure him. He instinctively felt that what had happened recently was much more than a simple coincidence. It was as if a well-prepared lasso had been placed on the ground long ago, waiting for him to walk ignorantly into the center of the rope loop only for it to be violently tightened by an invisible giant hand. The staring little girl, the dead old lady, the pre-determined internship and obsessive ghosts. The crowd outside the car window slowly dispersed. Lin Yan held Xiao Yu's waist and couldn't help but think that even if he really fell into some unpredictable conspiracy, there was always something to hold on to.

He knew that there was something between them that couldn't be resolved or reconciled. He cautiously avoided thinking about it. The ghost made the first move. Lin Yan let out a long sigh. He struggled to sit up straight, turning and driving the car out of the parking lot.

There's still time. Think about it later, Lin Yan thought to himself.

The alleyway where A-Yan lived was as dark as the first time. The spider web he saw when he came last time had grown bigger. A round gray spider was hanging underneath and climbing with its eight hairy legs. The broken bicycle beneath the spider web was gone, replaced by a pile of large cardboard boxes covered in advertisements for weight loss tea.

A-Yan didn't have a candle lit like he were a ghost this time. The living room was lit, and after making a cup of kuding tea for Lin Yan, A-Yan looked at the black-and-white photo carefully with the light, his face growing serious.

"I can't sense anything. Even the weakest ghosts have dark energy, but I can't see anything like what you said." A-Yan looked at the air around Lin Yan strangely, and then lowered his head to study the photo.

"I haven't seen her since Xiao Yu showed up. Today was the first time." Lin Yan pointed to the ghost behind him, embarrassed: "His name is Xiao Yu. I don't think I mentioned that."

He didn't know why it made him flustered to mention his name in front of others, so Lin Yan coughed quickly to cover up his embarrassment.

"X-Xiao Yu, I'll remember that." The little Daoist muttered to himself. He opened the cabinet and took out the large red lacquer pen and a glass bottle filled with cinnabar that he used to exorcise ghosts earlier. He unscrewed the bottle and paused: "Was he also there when you met the little girl you mentioned?"

"No." Lin Yan recalled: "There was a talisman hanging on the door to ward off evil spirits and he couldn't get in."

"If there was a talisman to ward off evil spirits, then that means there must have been a ghost. What did the talisman look like?"

Lin Yan drew a crooked pattern on his phone's whiteboard based on what he remembered, like gossip that was fed down the grapevine. Dancing lines of symbols and patterns were encompassed by a large black box. The little Daoist frowned while he studied it and said with certainty: "T-This is made specifically to repel ghosts. Sticking this on a door will prevent even the most powerful ghosts from getting in." A-Yan's slender fingers pointed to the cloud of gray mist near Lin Yan's feet in the photo: "Like I thought. It's not a ghost, it's a curse."

"Curse?" Lin Yan clutched the cup, bewildered: "Like in the movies?"

A-Yan took out the yellow paper from under the table. He dipped the pen in the cinnabar and haphazardly scribbled a Daoist talisman. He lit it with a lighter and moved it across Lin Yan's shoulders and head. He frowned and said: "N-No, this kind of talisman is an evil art used in practices like Nanyang Black Magic and Miaojiang compulsion techniques. They use insects, ants, dolls, and even ghosts to injure and harm people. It's different from Daoism. Daoism only targets ghosts while curses target people."

The flame of the yellow paper increased immensely when it passed over Lin Yan’s shoulders, making a small crackling sound. The little Daoist flicked the yellow paper to put out the flame and wondered: “It's impossible for a gray shadow to appear when trying to take pictures of ghosts that appeared naturally. The little girl had to be imprisoned somehow to make this kind of curse. I'll help you to get rid of it. I-It's such bad luck to run into this kind of thing."

"Lin Yan, who did you offend recently? Why did someone put a curse on you?"

Lin Yan took a sip of tea and sank into the sofa, shaking his head with a bitter smile on his face. Something that Second Immortal Gu said popped into his head. The little girl had been locked up with deep resentment. At that time, he thought she was talking nonsense. It's a pity that this person was already dead and gone.

Gone? Lin Yan looked back at Xiao Yu in surprise. If a person's soul still exists after they die. . .

"A-Yan." Lin Yan grabbed the little Taoist's thin wrist and said in a low voice: "Can people still talk after they die?"

The little Daoist priest was dumbfounded. A smirk danced on his lips. He stared at the ceiling for a minute and whispered: "N-Not necessarily. Some that died recently still can, but not for very long."

"Less than a month." Lin Yan roughly slammed the teacup on the table, water splashing into small round spots on the yellow paper. "I want to attract a person's soul."

The little Daoist thoughtfully stroked the cinnabar-coated pen and hesitated: "I-I'll try. A month might not be enough time."

The lights in the living room were dim and the whole room smelt like traditional medicinal herbs. After staying for a while, it felt like he was drifting farther and farther away from the normal world. Lin Yan took out his phone and stared at the bright screen, trying to bring himself back to reality. He scrolled through the people in his contacts. A text message suddenly popped up.

"I have some news. I'll ask the secretary to double-check and I'll get back to you tomorrow."

The one who sent it was the man who gave the lecture on Monday, Professor File Folder.

[revengeoftheantichrist]

What Kind of Man

Warnings: Possessive behaviour, forced feeding 

AO3  <<<Previous

Chapter 11: Performance 

You avoided dinner that night, choosing instead to go straight to bed. Your sickness and the letters giving you a headache. Before you slept, you placed some of the flowers in a vase on your nightstand, hoping to ward off whatever was in this house.

As you began to drift off, the covers were yanked off you, exposing you to the cool air.

“You are in no state to be refusing dinner!” scolded Michael. He stood in his robe, Mrs Mead behind him with a tray of food.

“I’m not hungry,” you said, attempting to reach for the covers. He turned to Mrs Mead, who handed him the tray and left you both alone. The smell of the food made your stomach grumble, but you still turned away when Michael brought the spoon to your mouth.

“Turn around and don’t be petulant.”

You rolled your eyes and refused to turn to him. You heard him huff before he forcefully turned your face to him. You refused to open your mouth, glaring at him. He had enough, pinching your nose so you’d be forced open your mouth to breath. Tears began to fall as you had to open your mouth. Michael shoved the hot spoon in your mouth, not letting the soup cool and burning your tongue.

“Now swallow like a good girl,” he ordered.

You closed your eyes and swallowed the burning liquid. Wincing as it reached your stomach.

“Now Y/N, you better have finished this bowl before I get back from my study, or else ill pour it down your throat. Do you understand?” he threatened.

You nodded and that was enough for him. He left you alone with the meal. You reluctantly began to eat, fearing what more could happen.

You pulled the covers over you after finishing your meal, not wanting to talk to Michael at all. He returned a few moments later, passing off the tray to Mrs Mead. You turned away from him as he crawled in beside you. He sighed and pulled you back against his chest, trapping you in his tight hold. Nothing was said as you drifted off.

////

You were sat at breakfast, picking at your food.

“I have some news,” Michael interrupted your train of thought. You looked up at him inquisitively.

“we will be going to see a play tomorrow evening,” he stated.

“Why?”

“Xavier Plympton’s play is having its final performance in the city nearby he is a good friend of mine. Your brother knows him. Some of the girls you met at Robichaux are part of the cast. There will be an afterparty here at the castle”

“Will Mallory be there?”

Michael looked at you like you were stupid, “Of course she will, she’s my primary beneficiary and their best performer.”

You just smiled and nodded.

////

The library must have held more answers. You had a few hours to look for more clues. At first you went to check the cavity you found last night, to make sure you weren’t hallucinating. It was still there along with the letters. The library must have been built with more. Instinct told you to go to the opposite end; hopefully someone appreciated symmetry when building it.

You were right, a little bit of pushing and the second alcove gave way. A similar box inside.

The handwriting was different on these envelopes. The wax seal had no crest. They were addressed to the USA.

You took a deep breath and unsealed the letter.

‘Dear Father,

It worries me that you haven’t replied to my letters. Is mother okay? Trevor? Our trip around Europe is coming to a close, yet Duncan seems more distant with me that ever before. I thought we’d become closer but there stills seems to be a gap. I always thought that it was rumour that the Shepherd dynasty was unwelcoming to their brides, but I know it’s true now. He’d rather spend the night in the streets than with me. I hope this doesn’t continue after the wedding. Our final destination is a ball some Count is holding. Apparently, his new wife is being introduced to society. I wonder if he loves her. Duncan speaks highly of his friend.

I hope this letter arrives and that you send me an answer for once

Love, Coco’

Why were Coco’s letters in your home? Why had they been left unsent? The was a simple folded piece of paper in the box, the same address as the letters before on one of the sides. You unfolded it to read its contents.

‘Please send a priest. Send some help. I have been trapped here. These men are beasts. They just sat and watched as the other’ The ink was smudged.

‘I have sent this with that sweet maid, reward her well. Please save me.’’

You reread the paper twice, before folding it and putting it back in the box. Coco never reached the States. You know that she didn’t get on that ferry back. The scream you heard that night must have been hers.

Whatever had happened to Madison, had happened to Coco. And it would happen to you too. The fact that the letter was given to a maid, but was in this box, meant that none of the staff could be trusted, not even the twins.

You put the box away and clicked the façade shut. Thinking about a way to get out of this castle before it became your coffin.

Your head began to spin as you left the library. You moved towards the garden to get some fresh air, but the sunlight made you recoil. Your eyes felt sensitive to the sun, making your head feel worse. You held onto the wall, trying to make your way to your room. Your mouth felt so dry, and your forehead was damp with sweat. You fell to the ground with a loud ‘thud’, the sound of running and a pair of fine leather shoes coming towards you the last thing you saw before your eyes snapped shut.

////

You woke to the sound of muffled voices. Your tried to make out the whispering, but the harder you concentrated, the more your ears rang. You groaned in pain and frustrating, alerting the room that you were awake.

You vision was blurry, but you were surrounded by Michael, Mrs Mead and Dr Montgomery. Michael was speaking to you, but his voice was still muffled, as if you had your head underwater. You tried to speak, but no words came out of your mouth.

Mrs Mead handed Michael a cup. He held you up and put it to your lip, making you drink the warm, sweet liquid down. You greedily drank, feeling better with each gulp, the fuzziness beginning to clear.

“Good evening Lady Langdon how are you feeling now?” asked Dr Montgomery.

You thought about your answer, squinting to focus on him, “a little… hazy still. My head has been hurting a lot recently,” you explained.

“Ah yes, Mrs Mead and the Count also explained your vomiting and fluctuating appetite.”

You nodded in response.

“It’s just a little bug, you must have caught it in Paris and the symptoms are developing now, but they should pass soon.”

He had lied to you again, you knew it.

He moved to check your temperature and the focus of your eyes. Giving you the clear and leaving a prescription with Mrs Mead.

“Make sure you follow the guidelines and keep your eating regular, even if you don’t want to,” with that he and Mrs Mead left, leaving you alone with Michael.

You just wanted to sleep again, resting your head back on the pillow. You heard Michael shuffling around before he got in beside you.

“You always worry me little dove, I thought you might have cracked your skull open with how loudly you fell,” his voice was soft.

“Where are you? You feel so far from me recently. Sometimes I feel like your somewhere else, like you’ve put your walls back up,” he ran his fingers through your hair.

“I’m just sick,” you sleepily murmured, not wanting him to see what you really were thinking.

He pulled your head to his chest with a sigh, “It will pass, I promise you it will pass.”

His actions and the softness of his voice lulled you to sleep.

////

Today was an exciting day for you, you had never seen a play before. Michael had let you see the ballroom get decorated for the party you would be hosting in the evening. You were in awe of the speed at which the staff worked. The hustle and bustle of the day took your mind off the mystery of your Husband. It could wait another day.

The opera house itself was stunning, having been partially funded by the Langdon family when it was first built. It seemed like Michael’s ancestors knew nothing other than living in excess. A tradition your husband seemed to have continued religiously.

The performance itself had you mesmerised. The dancers were oh so elegant. You saw now why Mallory earned her title. The writing of the play was phenomenal, making it clear that Mr Plympton was a Hawthorne alumnus; it had you sucked in from the first note. Michael however, had spent the evening staring at you and at Mallory, you had slapped his hand away from you one too many times.

You were allowed backstage at the end of the performance, presenting flowers to Mallory and Xavier long with drinks for the rest of the cast.

“So, this is the Countess? You are far too beautiful to be on the arm of my friend over here. I’m Xavier my Lady, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you,” Xavier said, kissing your hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too Mr Plympton, my husband has sung many praises about your work, now I can see why.”

“Oh, I sang many praises for him back in the day too, don’t you worry,” Xavier winked at Michael, the innuendo flying over your head.

Michael cleared his throat to interrupt the conversation, “I do believe we have a party to host tonight and we mustn’t be late.”

Everyone nodded and smiled in agreement, making their way to the waiting transport.

////

The party itself seemed wilder than the ball you held a month ago. That was high society. This was libertines and bohemians. Although an entertaining crowd to watch, not one you wanted to participate in. You had decided not to drink that night, not wanting to bring on another headache. You might have enjoyed yourself more if you had you thought.

“No wine tonight Lady Langdon?” asked Mallory.

You laughed and shook your head. You were standing on the balcony, overlooking the garden, the party in full swing behind you.

“I think I drank to much at the dinner hosted by Robichaux,” you replied.

It was her turn to giggle, “Oh yes I remember, I think you had a full bottle by the end of the night. I saw you roll your eyes and lose interest in that conversation. It was quite funny actually.”

You both looked at each other and laughed, thinking back to that night.

“Yes well, sometimes the count begins to speak, and I don’t really care for it, so I just stop listening.”

“I don’t think he’d be happy about that,” Mallory pointed out, taking a swig and finishing her glass.

“mmm happy about what,” Xavier slurred out, he wrapped his arms around Mallory’s waist and rested his chin on her head, his face was flush with a stupid grin plastered across it.

The sight of the pair drunkenly swaying brought a smile to your face. How nice its must have been, to not be subject to the rigid structures of the society you lived in. To be able to do whatever you wanted, without a care in the world. You wondered what type of woman you’d be if your upbringing wasn’t so strict or sheltered. Would you have confronted Michael? Would you have married him in the first place? You thought about it now. You never had the chance to say ‘no’. your father and brother had made all your life decisions up to this point. And now it seemed that Michael was doing the same. You wondered what freedom tasted like. Was it sweet? Did it have an aftertaste?

Your thoughts were interupped by Michael’s hands on your hips.

“What ahs you so deep in thought my love?”

You looked up to the stars, taking in the vastness of the night sky.

“Nothing really, maybe about our place in the universe. All the events that have led us to where we our now. Maybe fate or higher power,” you rambled.

“I think you might have enjoyed the philosophy lessons we had back at Hawthorne.”

“I care not for man of ages past, only the here and now,” you sighed again, leaning back onto Michael’s shoulder. “It’ll be a shame when winter comes. Such a beautiful garden will be barren for months. Almost as if it will never live again. But then, the spring comes, and it is reborn.”

“Life is a strange thing, there’s some things that are almost immortal, but we do not remember them. Then humans, mortal beings that leave their mark. Fascinating isn’t it? Michael mused.

You were interrupted by Xavier.

“We must get going. Mallory and the girls leave for Paris in the morning, so they must get to their lodgings and rest.”

You nodded and Michael and Xavier walked ahead, yourself and Mallory walking behind them, engaged in small talk.

You said your goodbyes and stayed behind to watch them leave and wave them off. The night had taken a toll on you, so you left for your room and retired for the night. You assumed Michael would spend the evening reminiscing with old friends and colleagues. So, you were surprised to see him already in bed.

You moved to go the dressing room to change, but you were stopped by Michael.

“You can undress here, in front of me.”

You looked at him as if he had grown two heads.

He just rolled his eyes, “I have seen it all before, don’t be shy now my love.”

Your cheeks heated up and you avoided eye contact with him as you shed your layers, finally leaving you in your under garments.

He curled his finger ins a ‘come hither’ motion, you slowly followed his command. He reached towards you and removed the final barriers, the chill causing goose bumps and your nipples to harden.

“Don’t just stand there, come on now,” he patted his lap. You climbed onto the bed, then onto his lap, where he wanted you.

You moaned lightly as you felt his stiff cock underneath you. His hand travelled up your sides, ticking the flesh. They finally reached you breasts, and you cried out at he began to tease your nipples. They had been sore and sensitive recently. He took a nipple into his mouth, noisily sucking on it. You threw your head back at the sensation. What a sight you were to him, moaning and mewling at the smallest of his touches. He gave the other nipple the same attention, before moving back with a wet ‘pop’.

“You’re so beautiful from up there.”

His hands moved to your hips again, lifting you and then slowly impaling you onto his cock, he couldn’t wait any longer.

You held onto his shoulders, your hips meeting every thrust. He pulled you into a searing kiss, capturing each other moans. You both came quickly. No matter what you thought about this man, or what he had done, you lust for him seemed to be paramount. His voice and his hands could make empires crumble, just like they did to you.

You collapsed onto his chest, exhausted from everything. No words were spoken as you drifted off.

////

Five days later, late in the afternoon, you had a visitor.

Madame Cordelia had come to visit.

Mallory had never made it home.

Next>>>

[thebrewstorian]

Collection Report: McMenamins Brewery Collection, 1983-2015

Oh my gosh, this collection has been in my backlog for YEARS! It has been so long that when my daughter helped with the inventory on the brew sheets she was 11 years-old and couldn't check herself out of summer camp [now she can drive and has taken the SAT], but she could talk with John Richen (brewing manager at the time) about her favorite beer names and things she'd noticed about ingredients.

Go straight to the guide: http://bit.ly/mss_mcmenamins

Learn more about the Oregon brewing industry in my Oregon Encyclopedia article

The McMenamins Brewery Collection is, truly, a gem. We scanned thousands of brew sheets, which is a part of the magic, but I'm also delighted by all the fun ephemera, including a full run of their coasters. I'll also add that the company biography included in this guide is really a love letter to the company, and I thank Fred Eckhardt, John Foyston, and all the other journalists over the past 30 years for recording all the fun quirks about this company.

SUMMARY McMenamins is a family-owned chain of brewpubs, breweries, historic hotels, and theater pubs in the Pacific Northwest.

The McMenamins Brewery Collection includes digitized brew sheets, digital images, brochures, coasters, decals, event programs, flyers, newspaper clippings, tap handles, posters, labels, a wooden cask, and a six-pack of Hammerhead beer.

COMPANY BIO

McMenamins is a family-owned chain of brewpubs, breweries, historic hotels, and theater pubs in the Pacific Northwest. It was founded by brothers Mike and Brian McMenamin, who grew up in Northeast Portland. In 2021, they operated 56 properties, with twelve hotels; dozens of breweries, pubs, and restaurants; movie theaters; spas; music venues; and a coffee roaster, winery, cidery and distillery. Many locations are rehabilitated historical buildings and at least nine are on the National Register of Historic Places. McMenamins only sells its beer in its own pubs, restaurants, hotels, and movie theaters.

Early businesses

Mike and Brian McMenamin both graduated from Oregon State University, Mike with a Political Science degree (1974) and Brian with a Business degree (1980). Mike and two college friends purchased the Produce Row Café, a bar known for all-night, high-stakes poker games, in Portland's warehouse district in 1974 and sold more than 100 types of beer. The building was built in 1951 and opened as a breakfast café for produce dockworkers in 1953; in later years, it was a barbershop. Mike and Brian bought Bogart's Joint, another Portland-area pub on 14th and Flanders. At various points in history, many beer-related activities occurred in this building: Kurt and Rob Widmer brewed in this location, and it was later space occupied by Portland Brewing and Rogue Ales Public House. By 1980, they'd sold Produce Row, Bogart's Joint, and a third tavern, the Stockyard Café.

Mike opened a wine distributorship and Brian opened the McMenamins Pub in Hillsboro. By 1983, Mike’s distributorship had failed, and the brothers decided to try the bar business again. Rather than the smoky, male-dominated taverns common in Portland, they were inspired by the community hubs they’d seen in Europe. They bought the Fat Little Rooster tavern on Southeast Hawthorne and renamed it the Barley Mill Pub; in addition to a varied beer selection, the pub was known for Grateful Dead memorabilia and anniversary parties. The namesake “barley mill,” which can still be found onsite, was used by Chuck Coury at Cartwright Brewing Co., Portland’s first post-Prohibition brewery. It was originally a kitty litter grinder but is now used annually to grind the grain for anniversary ales.

One major event that impacted the trajectory of the beer industry in Oregon in the 1980s was legislation that married production and sales. Fred Bowman and Art Larrance (Portland Brewing), Dick and Nancy Ponzis (BridgePort Brewing) and their brewer Karl Ockert, Kurt and Rob Widmer (Widmer Brothers Brewing), and the McMenamins lobbied to legalize on-site sales. On July 13, 1985, Governor Vic Atiyeh signed Senate Bill 813, the “Brewpub Bill,” into law. It allowed brewers to make and sell beer on the same premises, key for increasing revenue and gaining new customers.

First brewpubs

The McMenamins took advantage of the new law, and by the early 1990s had opened several brewpubs, each with its own small brewing system attached. They opened the Hillsdale Brewery and Public House October 31, 1985 in the Southwest Portland neighborhood of Hillsdale. Not only was it their first brewery, it was also the first brewpub in Oregon since Prohibition. Known as “Captain Neon's Fermentation Chamber,” a nod to Mike McMenamin’s nickname, the first several batches of beer were brewed with old Tillamook dairy equipment. On October 25, 1985, Hillsdale's first brewer Ron Wolf, who had previously worked at Anchor Steam, brewed the first beer in a small copper kettle and called it "Hillsdale Ale.” It fell loosely into the “Special Bitter” classification of beer styles and was a malt extract brew. Hillsdale Ale was brewed 29 times at the Hillsdale location and 14 times at Cornelius Pass Roadhouse between 10/25/1985 and 11/28/1986. In the first year, several brewers moved through the facility and made Hillsdale Ale, including Ron Wolf (who only brewed 13 batches before leaving), Conrad Santos (who replaced Wolf as brew master), Mike McMenamin, Brian McMenamin, John Harris, Scott Barrow, and Alex Farnham (the company’s first female brewer).

In 1986, they purchased a 125-year-old farmhouse in Hillsboro, Oregon, and turned it into the Cornelius Pass Roadhouse. Later that same year, they opened the Lighthouse Brewpub in Lincoln City. The Fulton Pub and Brewery opened in Portland in June 1988 and the Highland Pub and Brewery opened in Gresham in July 1988.

Eventually, 27 breweries would operate under the McMenamins umbrella and they became a training ground for new brewers, many of whom have gone on to found breweries of their own. Alumni include John Harris (Hillsdale, Cornelius Pass Roadhouse), Jack Harris (Cornelius Pass Roadhouse, Lighthouse Brewery), Jason McAdam (Edgefield, Hillsdale, Crystal Ballroom), Alex McGaw (Fulton, Crystal Ballroom), Ben Nehrling and Kevin Lee (Edgefield, Highland, Kennedy School), and Mark Goodwin (Old Church, Crystal Ballroom).

In addition to serving beer at their brewpubs, the company also hosted festivals, concerts, and other public programming events at their properties, including Dad Watson’s Brew Fest, Edgefield Brew Fest, Highland Pub and Brewery Eurofest, Hillsdale Brew Fest, Lighthouse Brew Fest, Mid-Valley Brew Fest, and the Thompson Barley Cup.

Beer and Other Beverages

The McMenamins’ beers could be unsettling to brewing traditionalists; they used ingredients like apples, spices, and candy bars, as well as lesser used malts like Chocolate and Crystal. They introduced fruit beers to Oregon and early batches featured blackberries from the Hillsdale brewpub parking lot. Hand in hand with their experimentation, McMenamins developed three core beers that are brewed at all their breweries. Terminator Stout (1985) is a dark, English-style brew; Ruby (1986) is a light, raspberry-flavored beer; and Hammer Head (1986) is a classic Northwest Pale Ale. Ruby and Hammerhead are iconic company characters as well; artist Lyle Hehn created Ruby Witch and Hammerhead, and both are staples of murals, posters, and coasters.

Terminator Stout made its debut in 1985 at the Hillsdale Brewery & Public House as the 12th beer brewed. Old Hammerhead, as the strong ale was first called, was brewed January 25, 1986 and was the 37th brew and made with malt extract. John Harris, who later created Mirror Pond for Deschutes Brewery, was the first to make Hammerhead an “all-grain” beer. Harris was hired in 1987, and when they transitioned away from extract brewing, he decided to rewrite the Hammerhead recipe; besides changed the grain, he also added more hops. Ruby, originally called “Ruby Tuesday” before the food chain objected, was first brewed in 1986 and used 42 pounds of pureed Oregon raspberries.

The company made more than beer. They planted 3 acres of Pinot Gris fruit in 1990 and looked to regional vineyards for additional grapes; McMenamins Edgefield Winery was established in 1992 and began by making Rhone-style wines, including grenache and viognier. The Edgefield Winery produces 20 different white, rosé, dessert, and sparkling wines and supplies 350 tons of wine to McMenamins pubs. Also in 1992, and predating the boom by more than 20 years, McMenamins started making cider at the winery and in 2018 sold as much cider by volume as wine.

In 1995, they began experiments with distillation and made brandy under contract by Carneros Alembic, a California distillery owned by Remy-Martin. In 1997, they built their first distillery in an old root vegetable storage barn on the Edgefield property. Their most popular whiskey is Hogshead, but they make several others, including Money Puzzle, which is dry hopped with Teamaker hops (which has 0 IBUs) and is sweetened with blackberry honey harvest from hives on their property.

Historic preservation

The brothers’ love of historic structures directed business growth and community involvement, and preserving important historical buildings is integral to their business. When the McMenamins started, they couldn’t afford new construction, so they purchased old buildings, which came with stories. They employ a small staff of historians to research and document the history, and those are in turn incorporated into each property’s art, murals, menus, place names, and architectural details.

In 1987, the company opened its first theater, the Mission Theater Pub, in downtown Portland. The converted 1890s Swedish Tabernacle, a church-turned-union hall, was also the state's first theater pub. In 1991, McMenamins turned a 1927 art deco theater that was slated for demolition into a second pub and movie house. These businesses were significant and ushered in a new way to watch movies with beer and food.

In 1987, the brothers purchased Edgefield, which was built in 1911 and listed on the National Register of Historic Places. They paid $560,000 and invested another $2.5 million to transform the farm's 80-year-old buildings into a multi-utility complex. Edgefield was once the Multnomah County Poor Farm, a self-sufficient facility with a meatpacking plant, power station, large rooming house, and infirmary. When the remodeled Edgefield Manor opened in 1991, the meatpacking plant was a brewery, power station a pub with a movie theater, infirmary a winery, and rooming house a 100-room hotel. There was also a meeting space, catering operation, restaurant called the Black Rabbit, herb and flower gardens, four liquor and cigar bars, distillery, golf course, and amphitheater. One of the more outstanding features of Edgefield, and something that would become the McMenamins' signature, was the extensive art installations created by local artists. Art popped up in surprising places throughout the complex (on ceilings, exposed heating pipes, eaves, fuse boxes) and showed local subjects (former residents, Northwest Indians, 19th-century brewers, the Columbia River Gorge). Within a few years, the company had a set of 12 freelance artists ready to work on new property acquisitions. Edgefield brewery is still the company's largest property.

In 1997, they purchased the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, which had been vacant for 30 years, and filled it with murals depicting the building's history, a brewpub, and a bar. The building was famous for its swaying dance floor, which sat on ball bearings. The Crystal Hotel was built in 1911 and became a dance hall and concert facility that hosted national music acts. Around the same time, they partnered with the Portland Development Commission and invested $4.5 million to remodel the Kennedy Elementary School. What was once a boarded-up building was transformed into a 35-room multi-use hotel with an onsite brewery, restaurant and four bars, a movie theater, a jazz hall, cigar bar, and soaking pool.

In 1999, the McMenamins opened McMenamins Hotel Oregon in downtown McMinnville, Oregon. The building was listed in the National Register of Historic Places and had been a hotel since its first two stories were erected in 1905; five years later, two more floors were added. In 1932, the hotel was renamed Hotel Oregon. In addition to renovating guest rooms, the McMenamins renovation added two bars and an art gallery with old photographs and new paintings that showed the history of the hotel and McMinnville.

Many property renovations followed. In 2000, they opened the Grand Lodge in Forest Grove, Oregon, which was formerly a Masonic home built in 1922. In 2001, they opened the 27 room Olympic Club Hotel and Theater, which was an expansion of the McMenamins Olympic Club Pub in downtown Centralia, Washington. The original Oxford Hotel was built in 1908 and Olympic Club was built in 1913. In 2003, they reopened the Rock Creek Tavern in Hillsboro, Oregon, which they had purchased in 1995 when the original tavern burned down. In 2016, the Anderson School in Bothell, Washington opened. The original Anderson School was built in 1931 and opened in 1936. In April of 2018, McMenamins opened their latest project, the Kalama Harbor Lodge in Kalama, Washington. Other properties include the White Eagle Saloon & Hotel in Portland, which was built in 1905; Boon’s Treasury in Salem, built in the 1860s; and Old St. Francis School in Bend, which opened in 1936.

ARCHIVAL COLLECTION INFORMATION The brew sheets and some event materials were provided to the Special Collections & Archives Research Center in 2015 and 2016 for digitization. The original items have been retained by McMenamins.

In addition to the brewery activity and the various beers released by McMenamins, this collection also contains information on events organized by the company, such as homebrew competitions and festivals. The cask held in the collection was used at the Oak Hills Pub and is decorated with a pen drawing created by brewer Chris Haslett. The photographs show art installation, artists, and property renovation.

The brew sheets and some event materials were provided to the Special Collections & Archives Research Center in 2015 and 2016 for digitization. The original items were retained by McMenamins.

Physical and electronic records are available for use in the Special Collections and Archives Research Center reading room.

[magaprima]

Part 2 Episode 6 Analysis (Part 1/?)

“You look like the cat that ate the canary” Lilith says while Adam is sat there just watching her. This is totally a reference to sex, in my honest and frank opinion. It’s just such a look-who-got-some thing to say, and especially when we consider the added canon fro Part 3 where we learned Mary never consummated her relationship with Adam, and we presume this was Mary’s choice and Adam was simply respecting her wishes (’I thought you wanted us to get married’, ‘marriage doesn’t matter to me’), the fact they finally consummated their relationship and then she agreed to get married after they slept together, meaning a double whammy....yeah he’s gonna look like the cat that ate the canary. 

Also, the way Lilith says this, not judging, not even mocking or sarcastic, it’s just an observation, made gently, said affectionately, and she has a genuine smile on her face as she says it. Also, she is doing work. As in Baxter High work. She has brought work home. Lilith brought mortal work things home and is actually doing them. Let’s just appreciate this for a moment. The first woman, the first witch, the rightful Queen of Hell, who is several thousand years old, is actually doing the job of Principal properly, and seems to also be marking papers. And having not done the at work, she has brought them home to finish. She is doing her job not just professionally, but thoroughly. She has work at the table (also the way she’s doing the work at the table and the pile of papers and the pen is paralleled in the Hare Moon episode where she’s at the table, doing all of Sabrina’s regal admin).’

And how domestic is this scene? There’s tea between her and Adam, there’s jam toast (interesting side note, jam is considered something Lilith loves and can be an offering you make to her in worship or plea to her), and he’s just sat comfortably opposite her while she works, and gentle piano music plays on the record player. It’s so very domestic, and there’s such contentedness to it. There’s relaxation and comfort here and we’re seeing Lilith relaxed and at ease, not on edge, which is very rare for her, as she’s always got a guard up in one way or the other, but she seems totally relaxed here. Even when Adam makes his suggestion she take a day off, she doesn’t jump in shock, she doesn’t even stumble, she just smiles at him again, even as she says she has too many responsibilities as Principal to do that (which, considering she does eventually agree, and enjoys herself, so clearly did want to take the day off, the fact she initially refuses because of work is further proof Lilith did end up taking her job at Baxter High quite seriously. So silver lining for Mary, that in the four months she doesn’t ‘remember’, no one can claim she was shoddy at her job).

“You’re underappreciated at that school of yours” Adam says this in a way that suggests he’s said it before and/or he’s thought it for a long time, which I think is really sweet, because that means he’s seen how good a teacher Mary was, how dedicated she was to her students, and how much that was ignored by the likes of Hawthorne and others at the school. Also, it’s tragic to think Mary probably was heavily underappreciated, and probably not very much noticed, because she was just a quiet teacher, who was dedicated to her students and not gossip.

“Mm-hmm, well that’s more true than you know. I have been giving that girl-- uh, that school my all, for some time now and the rewards have been less than I expected”

The fact she gives him a truly honest reply, mentioning Sabrina, and has to stop herself as she realises what she’s saying, shows just how relaxed, confident and comfortable and at ease she is with Adam. She didn’t even think to lie to him, to give her cover story, she just answers him honestly ‘that’s more true than you know, I have been giving that girl--’ and then she snaps herself out of it and we see the mask forced back on, though it’s not to the usual degree we see. Also, we’re seeing more glimpses of Lilith admitting to herself how little the Dark Lord is giving her, how little she’s being repaid, which is a big step for her, considering her fearful and long term dedication to him in Part 1. 

And another important development; when Adam reaches out and grabs her hand, she no longer jumps at the touch. When she first met him, she was tense, wide-eyed and on guard, she jumped at him coming even slightly near her without warning and she looked shocked and bewildered through every kiss and affectionate touch. Now, when he reaches out, she doesn’t flinch, she doesn’t stare at in shock, she doesn’t even look at it in amazement or surprise. She doesn’t look at all. It’s natural for her. Adam reaching out to her has become the norm, Lilith being touch in a gentle, non abusive way has become the norm for her. And she’s smiling at him again. This scene is literally the most we have ever seen Lilith smile in the entire series, and it’s such peaceful, quiet smiling. And it’s all because she’s in a dynamic, a relationship, where she’s being respected and treated well. All she asked for from the very beginning of her creation, and I think this is just a good way to confirm to us, the audience, that Lilith was very much not in the wrong with Adam 1.0,  that when she says he was cruel and speaks of him with horror, with can trust she’s telling the truth, because we see how gentle and happy she is when she does have equality and respect in a relationship. 

And the way her hand goes to her mouth, trying to hold back from the temptation when Adam says enticingly ‘just this once, it’s a day’. Lilith has spent millennia being dedicated to the Dark Lord’s every request, she’s he’s right hand, his foot soldier, his concubine, his supposed Queen, she has answered his every request, and the entire reason she’s in Greendale is to do his bidding. And yet here is someone asking her to do something entirely for herself, something that would be utterly unrelated to the Dark Lord and I think she’s almost shocked by how tempted she is, how much she wants to do something, for the first time in forever, that isn’t related to Lucifer. And that is a long, long habit, a long time to have live a life dedicated to one person, which is why we see her debating, why even in the temptation, she almost resists, but then...she gives in.

And the fucking delight on Adam’s face when she agrees. He is so happy that she’s agreeing to take a day off work and spend the day with him. He’s so pure. He’s utterly in love, and I do mean in love with Lilith, as I’ve said in my other analysis about the way this dynamic worked, and how things changed from Adam’s perspective. Regardless this boy is like a puppy with his head over heels love vibe.

“I’ll be all yours for the rest of the day” Her choice of words is so purposeful here. I said above how everything she does in Greendale is for Lucifer, and now she’s choosing to do something for herself, and it’s important to note that in choosing for herself, she is choosing to be with Adam. It’s not just about the day off, the day away from everything, it’s very much about the company. And that smile is so bright as she said it. This entire scene is her basically smiling from beginning to end and that means so much. And, I know I went on about her hair and the style changes reflecting her level of ‘being herself’ on that long post, but here her hair is getting less ‘Mary’ and more ‘Lilith’, again showing comfortable she is. 

Also she has the red pen throughout. Could be a visual reference to her favouring red in general and her links to Hell. Or it means Lilith may be marking, but she marks a hell of a lot with the red pen...i.e telling all the students they’re wrong, wrong, wrong. 

[thenukacolachallenge-archive]

so, uh, @outervvorlds​ posted an Outer Worlds Ask Meme for everyone’s captains and since i am a menace, stuck at home with a broken foot with nothing better to do, i did the whole damn thing myself so uhhhh here

Basics! Name, age, personality, etc. What do they look like? Are they a new or old oc?

Her name is Izumi Tanaka, but she goes by Izzy in this universe. She’s a 26 year old diva and flirt from a bad past on earth. She likes to make the joke that she likes “looking like a prostitute, but the nice ones, the ones you have to call a number for”. She’s mixed race, mostly Japanese but also African, German, and many other things. She’s a lightskin WOC with green eyes, long wavy black hair, and a shit ton of freckles. She’s very conventionally attractive(high cheekbones, tiny nose, large lips, almond shaped eyes) and she uses it to her advantage at every opportunity. She is an old OC from One Piece!

What are their attributes, perks, and flaws?

No flaws yet as of my current playthrough with her, but she’s very speech-oriented. She has a high Charm and Temperament, but she’s also skilled in melee, particularly two-handed, as well as being a talented engineer. She sucks at sneak, which is hilarious bc she’s also a chronic kleptomaniac.

What do they believe in?

She comes across as very critical of any particular ideology, but when she’s drunk it becomes more apparent that she just asks a lot of questions bc she wants to know everything before committing to something. Doesn’t stop her from siding with Dr. Welles with no information, since he did something for her by waking her up from hibernation.

How did they react to becoming Captain of the Unreliable? Are they much of a leader?

She was mostly just excited to have a ship. She originally intended to just run a solo ship like Hawthorne had, but she also loves to have people around, being an extrovert. She is flying by the seat of her pants when it comes to leadership, but so far bc of her extensive ability to bullshit her way through everything, she seems to be taking the role well.

What was their life like before being iced?

She grew up in a community similar to Byzantium - rich, snobby, and seedy. She was abused by her parents, and given to other high-society types by them to abuse for more money. She eventually snapped and killed her family and set their mansion ablaze to hide the evidence. As she was still a minor at the time and had no other living relatives, she was sent to an orphanage where she met her life-long friend Corona Nova(another imported One Piece OC of mine!), also known as Coco. The two eventually left to look for Coco’s missing younger sister, and became homeless. Izzy developed a drug problem and turned to merc work, partially for drug money and partially to kill the rest of those who’d abused her as a child. When the last one died, not by her hand but of old age, she had a come to jesus moment and got clean from drugs. She also discovered she had a love of mechanical engineering, getting a job at a local shop. It was there that she met Killer, a man she’d eventually end up in a “relationship” with; they weren’t exclusive, but they would actively discourage each other from being with anyone else. While she was working out how to love someone like a normal human being, he was killed. She never dated after him, and several years later, she signed onto the Hope after being tired of life on earth.

Did they have any family before becoming Captain? Do they think their crew as family? 

She had found family in Coco and Calli, a mutual friend of all of theirs who was a occult practitioner named Sai, Killer, as well as her mercenary crew. At first she keeps the Unreliable crew at a friendly but extensive arm’s length, but by the end of it all she ends up considering the crew a family.

What’s their fighting style? Who do they bring along?

She is a SUCKER for 2-handed melee, especially hammers. ESPECIALLY the Prismatic Hammer. She’s also decent at sniping, but she sucks at stealth so she’s not a sneaky sniper. She always has Felix with her, and then it’s usually between Max and Nyoka.

Is Spacer’s Choice their only choice? What do they think of the corporations? She fucking hates the corporations, but tries to be nice to pretty much everyone she meets who’s not a direct Board pawn. She ends up being well liked by most people controlled by the corporations, which tends to give her an unwantedly high reputation with them.

What do they think of the factions? Are they liked or disliked by any? By the end of the story, she’s liked by most factions except the Board and the corps. She’s revered by the Groundbreaker, most of Monarch, and pretty much everywhere except Byzantium folk.

What’s their favourite place in Halcyon? Least favourite? Favorite place is Monarch and anywhere on Terra 2 except Byzantium. She fucking despises Byzantium, it reminds her of her childhood.

Do they have a favourite alien creature? She dislikes most of them, since they mostly want to eat her. She thinks sprats are cute but isn’t above killing them to get their pelts for money.

Did they save The Hope?

She did, and even though she cried over it, she took all of the whatever the fuck its called that Phineas has you steal from Byzantium to save them. She hated that she had to kill all those innocent people, but she knew they were already dead since the Board didn’t have any plans to wake them, and didn’t know how besides. It still did a number on her, though.

What do they want to do afterwards? - but do they get a happy ending? Her original reasoning for getting on board the Hope was to get as far away from “civilized” society as possible, and make a private life for herself. But by the end, all she wants is to continue to help people with Felix, which she does. She’s finally happy and at peace with her past, so I’d say she got a happy ending.

What do they think of the companions? Friendships, crushes, dislikes, etc. She loves all her companions like family by the end, but she did not care for Ellie in the beginning, and she was very wary of Max, mostly bc his drive to complete his goal, no matter the cost, which reminds her of herself in the thick of her personal revenge against her abusers. She found Parvati to be sweet if naive, but she really fell into favor with Nyoka and Felix, and Max after his drug trip. She’s head over heels for Felix, and ends up with him after her kidnapping on Monarch.

How do the companion quests go? She sets Parvati up with Junlei, helps Max become a Philosophist, helps Ellie get back at her parents. She cries with Nyoka over finding out her merc crew left the rest of them behind, and she doesn’t trust Clyde from the beginning, with the way he treats Felix. She doesn’t chastise him for being too trusting though.

What’s their love language? She’s pretty unsure of this herself, being that she’s never been in a normal, stable relationship, but she knows she loves to get gifts for her loved ones. She gets all of the crew anything they ever want. She also just loves to spend time with her loved ones, even just being in the same room doing separate things makes her happy.

Are they in a relationship? Do they want to be? She ends up in a relationship with Felix by the end. She’s always joked that she’s allergic to commitment, but she finds herself wanting to spend all of her free time with Felix, and even though she’s naturally a cuddly person, she’s extra-cuddly with him. She ends up realizing “oh shit, i like him way more than i intended to” at some point during her trip.

How to win them over? She’s more motivated by fun experiences and flattery than money, although she does like having bits for buying as much booze and cigs as she wants. Romantically, she enjoys people with a sense of humor, but who can be real. She loves Felix bc he’s 100% authentic at all times, says and does exactly what he wants… And because she loves how dumb he acts/is.

How to break their heart?

It’s very rare for her to let someone get under her skin long enough to break her heart, but she’s been fighting all her life to prove to herself that even though she’s a murderer, she is still a good person, so someone telling her otherwise stings pretty bad.

How did those cows get onto their ship?? She ordered them for their wool. She’s very into fashion but HATES spacer fashion, so she tried her hand to shear their wool and spin it and make something out of it. Results haven’t been good but she keeps trying.

A song that reminds you of them, Bad at Love by Halsey is a big one, I by Kendrick Lamar, I Like It and Be Careful by Cardi B. Any big party banger type song too, Izzy’s a party animal.

Three random facts about them.

-she’s a crazy chain smoker. She steals cigarettes more often than anything else, save for ship decorations. -she had a really shitty punk band on earth. The crew manages to recover some audio recordings(long story, it’ll be in the fic). Felix is the only one who enjoys it. Parvati tries to say something nice. Everyone else gives her all the shit for it. -if given the choice, she would never wear a proper shirt. She loves to have her midriff showing. In the fic, she finds a cache of her old shit that Coco brought along on the Groundbreaker, and Izumi cries when she finds out that Coco put all her old favorite clothing articles in it. (Felix is very happy, as most of the outfits are skimpy)

and as a bonus, here’s a picture of Izzy, done by a friend of mine! obviously probably not something she’d wear in space though, lmao

[wckdwinchesters]

Sweet One| (part two)

Michael Langdon x Fem Reader

Summery: Michael recalls the story of how you two met for the first time. And how you were both in a school for witches and warlocks. You had secrets you tried to hide but Michael found out.

Word count: 3363

A/N: I don’t feel really confident about this one but please send me criticism! I don’t know if I should continue. And thank you guys for supporting my first one I appreciate it so much! Also I wrote both these stories on no sleep but give it a chance!

“Witch! Demon! Satanic whore! You’ll burn in hell!” Shouted the man.

Small parts of my memories were easy to see but the rest were under lock and key

so, I only caught glimpses of them and if I pushed to see them well, it hurt like hell.

   I had first met Michael at Miss Robichaux’s Academy in New Orleans three years before the bombs dropped. He was in the Hawthorne’s School for Exceptional Young Men also known as the school for warlocks. Their school had burned down because some of the neighbors didn’t take kindly for a school of “Satan worshipping demons”.

Ever since Cordelia went public about the existence of witches, there has been a lot of eyes on all of us.

They had to stay with us for a few weeks while they reconstruct the school. Fortunately, they had started constructing a school underground so they needed to finished that. they needed to rebuild the top and secure the area with metal gates but while they did that, we would have them here. Cordelia had put a spell on the school to expand it and make more room for the boys. We would be sleeping and learning beside each other. Our supreme had called a mandatory gathering to introduce the boys to the school and set the rules and everyone was already in the large living area next to the library, I was the last one in. Everyone stared and Cordelia was already talking and had gave me a long sideways look as I made my way to the back. Once there the girls were giving me stink eyes and I grinned and giving them a little wink. She kept going on about the rules and how it was only for a few weeks and started giving us schedules and apparently the boys would be joining in on our classes and some of the girls around the room were muttering to each other and giving very uncomfortable groans and whispers of complaints but I could’ve cared less.

 I felt a gaze fall on me and it felt like someone had gently touched my face, I looked up and saw him.

He was probably the most exquisitely beautiful person I have ever seen, we locked eyes for a moment before someone tapped my shoulder and asked me to go check on Myrtle. Cordelia had resurrected her again and her progress was slow to say the least. I wasn’t like most of these girls, when Cordelia had found them, they were lost and had no idea how to use or even control their powers. Me on the other hand, Well, when Cordelia found me I not only knew how to use my powers but I had mastered them, then I was off traveling learning new ways to do different kinds of magic. You name it, Voodoo, Black Magic, White Magic, Blood Magic and Necromancy. She told me I was strong and needed to learn control and not get myself into dark things. She said I could learn new things with her and her school and I felt that knowledge is power and I tried hard to be as good as I could, it was hard adjusting to this new life style after being free to do what I wanted. She would often come to me for advice in dealing with dark magic and those who could wield it.

 They were probably the only time to could use my knowledge on dark magic and wield it myself in some situations. I had all the power and no outlet. Somedays were hard to keep a lid on my powers, I had made excuses that I couldn’t control my powers but that wasn’t the case. In the library, there’s a huge black scorch mark on the wall and ceiling that Cordelia still hasn’t had time to repaint. I was in there reading one night sitting in one of the big chairs near the window using the light from the moon to read then something had blocked the light. It was this extremely annoying witch called Grace, she had started in on me on how it was late and lights out. I wasn’t furious or anything, I just set the curtains on fire and her hair caught on fire as well. She started screaming and I just got up and walked slowly over to her and poured a pitcher of water over her head just to stop her screeching, that’s when the whole school had woken up. She had her head wrapped and was taken to the hospital then next morning, there were rumors that I had done it and I explained to Cordelia when she called me to her office that one of the candles near the curtains tipped over and it caught on fire and how if it was me then I would’ve let her burn instead of letting her live for her to narc on me, I had made the girl believe it was the candle. After that I found that the library was a place of comfort.

After the gathering, the boys had gone to unpack and I had went to check on Myrtle and then down to the library. Some people came in, I guessed that they were the girls who were nice enough to give some of the boys a tour around the school. I just put my head down and continued reading when one of the boys asked what happened to the wall, I smiled to myself when I heard one of the girls say “There was an accident a week ago, our sister witch came to tell one of the other witches to go to sleep because it was lights out and she set our poor Grace on fire.” I let out a bark of laughter and said “Which is a rumor that was proven to be false. You know it’s bad to gossip.” I closed the book and walked up to the girl said “She was just clumsy, let’s hope you aren’t.” I winked at her then he caught my eye and was grinning. The dinner bell rang and I didn’t really like what they were serving so as the others left I made my way to a couch and dropped down. I saw that he didn’t leave and asked “Aren’t you hungry? You should go eat.” I picked up the book and stared at the pages but he was still standing there silent so I put the book down. Got up and said “come on, let’s go get some for food.” We walked out and he turned to the dining room but I stopped him and said “Some real food, not that crap.” I grabbed my car keys and got into my jeep and we drove to a street food market. We walked around for a while then I ordered for the both of us and asked if he was allergic to anything he only nodding. We sat near a fountain and I said to him “You really don’t talk much do you?” He smiled and replied “I do when I want to.” He such a nice voice that sounded firm but at the same thing light and sweet. “Would you at least tell me your name?” “Michael Langdon. Did you really burn that girl?” I snorted at that and said “Wow, That’s a really long name.” “Did you?” I replied with “that’s what the rumors say. But you shouldn’t believe every rumor. It really sucks though, my favorite chair burned.” I giggled and he laughed at that. We talked for hours when I realized it was getting late by then. I said “let’s head back before they assume I burned you alive.” I stopped on our way back to the car to get Cordelia’s favorite food so she wouldn’t be all that mad.

 Let’s just say Cordelia wasn’t going to be brought by food. “How dare you leave without saying where you were going! I can’t believe you. And you also took a student with you, I mean what would I do if something happened.” “So, you don’t want your food? Relax Delia It was just a food run, no big deal and you can see nothing happened so no need to overreacted.” She has been worried more than usual because of recent attacks towards witches including our new house guests so I understand why she was freaking out. I apologized to her and went with her to her office and I gave a quick glace over my shoulder and saw Michael tracking me as I went. I gave him a quick smile before closing the door to the office. “Did something else happened?” I asked “A group of witches were found burned alive bound to stakes. I saw the police reports and the crime scene photos. But that’s not the only thing.” Cordelia replied “Messy witches. there’s something else?” I shut my eyes and squeezed the bridge of my nose. “They were tortured first and then burned, that tells me that…” “Someone was looking for information. Fuck. Did you Identify the witches? Could they know something important?” I thought ‘fuck now everyone going to have to watch their backs.’ “Yes, I did but you’re going to want to sit down.”

 The office was big and had a long wooden desk with beautiful accents on it and in front of it were two big velvet chairs. I sat in one of them and waited for Cordelia. “Well do you remember when I found you? You were with that group of witches practicing black magic, well… it was them.” I didn’t really care to be honest but I put on a sad face and said “I- well that’s a tragedy. Even though we were practicing dark magic they were good people and had families. They must be going through hell right now.” But then I realize then that it was him. When I started to develop my powers, there was a man named Gordon as I would later find out. That son of a bitch tracked me down and tried to kill me so many times I lost count. It was because of that I learned how to use my powers and got interested in learning about different kinds of magic so if that son of bitch ever catched up to me I’d be ready.

I asked Cordelia that if we should hire more security if they leaked our location. “I don’t believe that’s necessary and if they do happen to get in well, they are going to know that they walked into the wrong house.” “fuck yeah.” I gave her the food I got for her and said to her “I know I made you worry but you need to know I can protect myself.” She nodded and I said my goodnight to her. After I left with Cordelia I buried my dark magic and now I had to go dig it up if I was going to face Gordon again. I just wished I didn’t actually bury it. It was midnight and everyone was sound asleep, I put on my black cloak over my white bohemian lace bell sleeved long dress and black heeled ankle boots and was out the door. Behind the school was a big field with trees and beyond that a large swamp that stretched for miles. I buried a chest with my spell books and other things about two hours from the school and I’m pretty sure no one from the school found it cause the swamp was filled with gators and other unfriendly animals.

 I lit a torch to light my way and It was about 30 minutes later that I noticed someone was following me. I teleported myself behind them and pushed them down before I tried burned them but I stopped when I saw who it was “Michael?! What the fuck are you doing? Why are you following me?” I was so conflicted, I didn’t know what to do. He could say something if I made him go back but if I take him with me he’d know my secret, I could kill him easy but I didn’t want to. He got up and brushed himself off and I started pacing thinking of my options. “I thought somebody should accompany you. You were trying so hard to sneak out you didn’t notice me sitting in the living room.” I looked at him and said “you should’ve stayed at the school, Jesus now I don’t know what to do with you. Can’t you go back and keep quiet?” I had a feeling at what his answer was going to be “I can’t take you where I’m going and I don’t know you well enough to know if I can trust you.” He said “I heard your conversation with Cordelia and I know you were studying dark magic when she found you.” “Wow, nosey, aren’t you? Yeah, so what that has nothing to do with anything.” “I’m guessing whoever tortured and killed those witches weren’t looking for The Supreme, were they?”

 After minutes of back and forth with him, we went on to find the chest and I made him swear not to say anything and that’s a serious thing for witches. It was about an hour in of walking through swampy water and muddy ground that I started telling him about Cordelia finding me and me learning every kind of magic there was and he was nodding to say he was taking all this information in. “I’m guessing it wasn’t the candle burnt that girl.” That made me laugh cause out of everything I said he didn’t really care about the dark magic or anything. I started to feel the pull of the spell book once we got to the chest it was better than GPS because I knew exactly where it was. I flicked my hand and I dug it up out of the shallow hole I put it in, I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye and I passed the torch to him and placed torches in a circle and lit them with the flick of my hand and said to him “The bitch had it coming” I smirked at him and he smiled back.

 I took off my hood and dragged the chest in the middle of the circle. I turned and said to him “What you see here has to be kept secret. I’m sorry I dragged you into this, which is strange since I could care less about anyone else.” He looked at me and said “I’m not sorry. I like spending time with you even if it’s in a swamp surrounded by hungry crocs” I laughed and gave him a sweet smile which he returned. I took off the cloak and went up to the box and knelt down whispered an incantation and pulled out a knife and spilt my blood over it and stood and yelled “RECLUDERE!” it opened and I felt the talismans and spell books power radiating off. It was so euphoric, I almost didn’t notice noises coming from the woods until Michael said my name. I walked over to him and said “Relax, no one can hurt us.” It was someone from the city that patrolled the woods. He shouted “Hey! You can’t be here! I’m calling the cops—" I smiled and said “sit down and shut up” and he did what he was told. Michael’s face impassive and I knew now for sure what I had suspected earlier. “I’m guessing that I’m not the only one into dark stuff. I had a feeling but I wasn’t sure.” He grinned at me and said “great minds think alike.”

 I told him about the witch hunter and he gave a repulsed expression and decided “Well I’m going to help you.” I looked up at him and saw that he was serious. The fire made his eyes look like a darker blue then it usually was. He looked mesmerizing in this light and I looked away and stated “I can take care of business on my own.” “Oh, I have no doubt but I just want to make sure you’re okay.” At that I looked up and he met my eyes. I never could really read him because he kept his guard up but now I could see longing and I also felt that. We had only just met but It felt like I’ve known him for years and that was when I knew I could trust him with anything, my life and everything else in it. I lit up and gave him a peck on the cheek and nodded. When I had kissed him, it felt like the best thing in the world better than magic dark or light. I turned and went up to the man still sitting there and said “I know exactly what I’m going to do to you.” He let out a choked scream as I snapped his neck with just a look. I wiped at my head like a broke a sweat doing that and he chuckled at that. I went to the chest and emptied it out and burned it. Started our way back to the school when I remembered the body. I levitated it up and into the swamp. “By the time they recognize he’s missing he’ll be alligator shit.” I joked.

 We made it before sunrise and before anyone notice us missing. I casted a spell from my book to block Cordelia’s sight from working on us for a while. Three weeks passed by in a blink of an eye, I was outside laying down on a blue picnic blanket dressed in a short yellow floral wrap dress with a book in my hand underneath a big tree. Dressed in his black uniform, I lowered my glasses and gave a teasing whistle even though he was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and today he looked flawless with the sun hitting his strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. My heart ached just looking at him. “What are you up to Sweet One?” he gave me that nickname a week ago and I loved it so much. We spent most of our time together, every time I saw him my heart thudded so loud I was sure everyone could hear. “Just reading and about to eat. Want to join me handsome?” “How could I refuse you” He smiled as he sat. I closed my book and joked “So, how was kindergarten?” They had placed most of the boys in classes with the girls that were new. I rarely went to class because I was too advance for most of them but every once in a while, Cordelia made sit through them and said that maybe I could learn something new. I mostly went to classes that Zoe or Queenie were teaching in because they taught us “control”. I don’t really get along with them but I only had to see them twice a week or if there’s a meeting but beside that we don’t cross paths.

 “Well didn’t you hear? I’m in first grade now.” Michael’s powers were stronger than all of the warlocks and the teachers combined. I would even say he was my equal or probably even stronger. I don’t ask him about it though cause that’s not my business. “Congrats! I bet your very proud.” I snapped my fingers and a cupcake with a candle appeared in front of him “It’s red velvet with strawberry buttercream my favorite.” he took a knife from the picnic basket and cut in half and gave me a piece. I sat up and popped the cake in my mouth and proceeded to lay the food out and we talked and laughed and it felt like pure bliss and just like that it was gone. Screams interrupted the peaceful moment and I jumped to my feet and looked from the school to Michael. I whispered “Do you think it’s him?” he shrugged “There’s only one way to find out.” Gunshots echoed and we took off in a run.

[porchwood]

Hey friends,

I’ve been struggling to come up with a sufficient thank-you for all your help with the GoFundMe, but it seems every time I sit down to try to write a response, some new awful thing arises. And this past week was the worst yet (maybe the worst ever).

When last I spoke to you, I was getting over a bad cold and preparing to ease back into work after my injury. The PT office finally called me back and I went in for one session to make sure I was at a recovery point where it was okay for me to do massage again; the therapist did a quick assessment - no exercises demonstrated or recommended - kinesiotaped the knee and charged $100 that I had to pay then and there. (So a waste, and an expensive one, but I guess it could have been worse?) The next day I started back at work VERY part-time (one 60-90 min client a day) and it absolutely killed me. I was no longer wearing the brace and my knee actually did okay with the work (bending/crouching notwithstanding), but the rest of my body (esp core muscles) were just drop-kicked by the work. I went home exhausted and shaky every day and finally tried substantially increasing my protein intake, which felt a little ridiculous (we’re talking a 24g shake + an 11g bar for breakfast or two entrees at lunchtime), but it’s done a world of good, and that’s all thanks to you guys. (Protein of any kind isn’t cheap and your incredible donations made it possible for me to buy good food to rebuild my muscles.)

The end of my first week back at work, I fell hard on the ice outside my house. Miraculously, my left knee never even hit the ground, but I fell flat on my back and my left wrist - without any lasting injury, thankfully, but I was absolutely worthless for the next 24 hours and had several days (crucial returning-to-massage days) of varying degrees of pain in that wrist. In the meantime, I made a couple of other adjustments (raising my massage table to take the strain off my lower body, getting back on an ibuprofen schedule instead of just taking it after the fact, when I was hurting badly), all of which helped, but I’m still only about 85% back. My knee still hurts every morning when I wake up and gets stiff and sore whenever I have it bent for any length of time. My workplace has been surprisingly good about letting me work a slower schedule as I build back up (ex. 3 clients a day instead of 5), and last Friday I finally got a paycheck for the first time in over a month (!). 

Then, two weeks ago, I was wakened at 3am to Lucky (my little rat terrier) falling off the bed. This has happened before and is usually comical after the fact, but when I picked her up, she emptied her bladder all over me, and when I tried to set her down to check on her, her back legs had gone limp and wouldn’t support her. Terrified (I’ve heard enough end-of-life dog stories to know this isn’t good), I was about to take her to the emergency vet when she sat up like nothing had happened and began licking herself. I took her outside and she walked around a bit, completely sound on her feet, and pottied again - business as usual. Worried and mystified, I messaged my (LPN) mother who thought the urination sounded like a shock reaction to the fall, so I gave Lucky a bath and spent most of the day just cuddling with her.

For about two seconds, life seemed like it might finally be getting a little better. I was able to pick up two massages at a local inn (which pay substantially better than massages at the spa and provide some very helpful extra money). And then on Thursday, I came home to a slightly anxious Lucky (howling quietly on my bed), and when she got up to greet me, her back legs wouldn’t support her. I scooped her up immediately and her entire body went limp (seemingly lifeless), her head and neck lolling over my arm. As I ran through the house with her, her bladder emptied down the front of me and - still lifelessly limp - she gave the most horrifying howl I’ve ever heard. I was convinced she was dying in my arms.

As we tore down the road to the vet’s (thankfully, about a 5-minute drive from home), she sat up on my lap and by the time we’d reached the office, she was acting downright normal again. I was able to get us in with one of the vets about 10 mins later (a tech checked her out right away to triage her and make sure she was stable), and he wanted to get some data on her heart. She’s had a heart murmur for almost her entire life and, while I’ve asked repeatedly what we could do for that, the only advice I was ever given was hawthorn and ginkgo supplements (which she takes on a more or less daily basis), and at one point we tried a canine cardiac formula for a few months with no notable changes.

She had an EKG, chest x-rays, and a blood draw ($516, including the office call) and then that info was sent to a veterinary cardiologist in Portland. All they could tell me in the meantime was that her heart is enlarged and to just have her take it easy for the rest of the day; they would call me first thing the next morning with the cardiologist’s report. Lucky was sleepy but normal for the rest of the day and I passed an awful night of bad dreams (including one about rabid dogs) and waking every hour or so to make sure she was okay.

I was scheduled for my typical split on Friday but had only one client at the end of the day and was an emotional wreck, so I asked if I could just go home to be with Lucks and I found another therapist to cover my client. I still hadn’t heard from the vet by 10am, so I called to check in. He gave me a brief summary over the phone and asked if we could come in for some more tests, which was another hour and a half and $236. (I was able to put these two visits on my CareCredit card but for some reason the vet only gives a 6 month promotional period instead of the 12-18 months that other places do. If you’re not familiar, CareCredit is a great option IF you can pay off everything quickly. If you can’t, you’re clobbered with obscene interest on the entire sum at the end of the promotional period, even if you’ve paid off almost all of the principal.)

I’m still making sense of the cardiologist’s report because it’s quite in-depth and my knowledge of the heart isn’t quite that high, but here’s what I’ve been able to glean:

- “severely enlarged” heart - borderline tachycardia and occasional arrhythmia (her collapse was considered a syncopal episode, if that helps anyone) - some degree of mitral valve issue - at risk of developing congestive heart failure

She was put on two heart meds, pimobendan/Vetmedin (which is supposed to be very effective and is also very expensive) and enalapril (an ACE-inhibitor), and she has a kidney check-up in about a week to make sure she’s doing well on them and adjust the doses if necessary. The vet seemed to think the prognosis was pretty good (considering that at this point we’re talking about staving off heart failure :/) - he said small dogs with mitral valve issues tend to do well on these meds - and other than this insanity with her heart, Lucky seems to be in pretty good shape. Before Thursday she was extremely active and happy; there’s no sign of neurological issues, and her BP, thyroid, kidneys, etc are all looking good. So I’m trying to stay hopeful.

She’s been a little extra sleepy (understandably) the past few days, but this afternoon she seemed unusually “off,” so I’m trying to figure out whether it’s her tiny body adjusting to the meds (which she needs to stay on for the rest of her life) or if her heart is suddenly starting to get tired and this is the new normal. :( I called my mother earlier (a mistake) and got a lot of pessimism-in-the-guise-of-sympathy that left me feeling like Lucky is on hospice and I should start making end-of-life arrangements now. 

I’ve been crying for the better part of the last four days, and I don’t think I can articulate how painful this is for me. I didn’t think it was possible to donate a human heart to a canine but I looked it up just in case, because I would give her mine without hesitation. Lucky is my whole life - my soul running around in a little black-and-white body, and five years ago when my life systematically fell apart, she was the only thing misfortune didn’t touch - and I knew this, and I was waiting. Since then she developed sleeping bladder leaks (which, while frightening, were easily and effectively treated with estrogen), then severe separation anxiety (which I’ve been struggling to treat since 2016, and yes, I blame myself for the anxiety making her heart worse, even though I’ve done absolutely everything to help her overcome it). Lucky is absolutely the reason I didn’t try to end my life at various junctures over the past five years, and I don’t want to think about what will happen to me if she’s not here anymore.

And as ridiculous as this will sound: I was supposed to be married by now. When I got Lucks as a puppy, I knew the inevitable would one day come (unless Jesus comes back before then so Lucky and I can just go to heaven together, which I haven’t given up on), but I knew my life would be much different by then. I would have a home and a husband to help shoulder the financial and emotional burden. I was not supposed to be alone, sterile, and struggling just to make ends meet. I love my roommate dearly, but it’s not the same as having a spouse, nor should it be. She can give me hugs and listen to me cry, but at the end of the day it’s me in that dr’s office, holding my hurting baby and promising to pay for whatever they have to do, and me that has to hold everything together and keep going when the worst happens. 

Incidentally, last Sunday was my birthday. I’ve mentioned before that my birthday has some kind of perverse curse, and if this year didn’t prove it, I don’t know what will.

My father (living in Nebraska, and with whom I’ve had a strained relationship since my hysterectomy) has congestive heart failure, and my mother called me shortly before all of the Lucky stuff to tell me that he’s failing and to try to talk me into moving back to Nebraska to help keep an eye on him. Which is a subject for another time entirely, but over the past few days I’ve been wondering if I should think about going back (temporarily), if only to be around family myself. It would be a complicated situation (I’d still be on the Maine lease and paying for half of everything, Lord knows if I’d be able to keep my Maine job when I came back and I’d end up back at Massage Envy in Nebraska, not to mention I’d be scrambling to pay down my medical bills and Lucky’s), but maybe it’s something I should consider.

Anyway: that’s where I’ve been. :( And I’m sure I look like an ingrate for not saying thank you about the funds sooner, but between the fatigue and the heartbreak, it’s been hard to manage much of anything lately.