#i'm technically an introject

[amber-mango]

got tagged by @stefisdoingthings (thank you, this was very sweet to include me :) i'm still working on building up an identity and it's nice to get a lot of random little questions so i can think about what they mean to me. i might answer some with stuff i'm looking forward to since i havent done a lot of these things, unless i just can't access those memories right now). Dont feel pressure to read all this, i'm gonna be musing a lot.

last song: Slow Dancing in the Dark by Joji

favorite color: i think the more understated browns/grays that rocks come in.

book i'd like to read: i dont think ive ever read a book in my life, so i dont even know if i like reading. but of the books we have i think i'm most interested in Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel. Seems serene and kinda rough

movie i'd like to see: i havent seen a movie either. i think maybe? Blue (2002). Someone made a comment that it gives Mirage x V2 vibes (from Ultrakill). Maybe i'll even watch it tonight

show i'd like to see: i actually dont have an answer to this. not yet anyway. I did choose Milly as my designated trigun kin though :) even though i am lower energy than her

sweet/savory/spicy: uhhhh i have eaten. fewer than five times. mostly dinner so, savory i guess?

relationship status: single (for. semi-obvious reasons)

last thing i searched: Blue 2002 lol

current obsession: do i count? i dont think im obsessed with anything i just kinda spend my time hanging out and trying to figure out what i like. i do like this thing though:

looking forward to: making more art (i might do some painting or linocuts!), maybe going to a forest someday, seeing shorebirds in person

uhhh i dont think i can tag anyone that the other guys havent tagged. if youre one of my five followers you can go ahead and do this for yourself :)

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

I was dreaming of the wind

Relationship: Mello/Near Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,485 Series: sweet atonement

Near wakes up and Mello is not here. (Set roughly a year after the events of sweet atonement and please don't follow me into the sun.)

Tags: Multiplicity/Plurality, Near's Mello Introject, Dissociation, Difficulties in Inner Communication, (and resolution thereof), Traumaversary, Grief, Lucid Dreaming, Post-Canon, POV Near | Nate River

[read on AO3]

[carnage-cathedral]

Something that I think many of you don't understand is that Sebastian is simply another part in the system. He's not special or unique. He is just an alter. The only reason he is considered so important to outside people is because he's who they knew first. He is not the "original" or "core." He is an alter just like me or anyone else.

[normalmcguy]

I AM PLURAL I AM FRIENDLY I AM APPROACHABLE YOU CAN DM ME THAT'S WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT. I AM BEFRIENDABLE, TRY IT

HELLO HELLO my name is Normal Guy because i don't care to publicly go by my source name and i kind of just didn't care to find a real name to replace that original placeholder, you can also call me Norm or Marty being that they're both short for Normal Guy.* pronouns wise, you can call me he or like if you really want it or they or actually pretty much whatever, mostly just that he/him stuff

i'm one of like 5 current 'hosts' in my system and i'm like woah i just checked it turns out on this day i've turned 100 days old in this system that's actually crazy to me. i mean woah. anyways i'm a factive of an old old friend's fictive** which means i have a connection to a source we know like nothing about except what we learned through osmosis back when we were friends and so basically i picked up a lot of what is probably just some sect of fanon

i'm a HUGE bike guy like that's my main hobby i have to bike like every single time i front type thing, that's gonna be like. my 'get to know me' fact for this intro post. i have an E-bike that i love more than anything in this world it has a name you can dm me and ask. i say this both to create mystery and allure about myself and to provide an adequate conversation starter. because i'm so nice and all that.

i do my best not to get into discourse of most types, but real quick i wanna make it clear that i believe in and support endogenic systems and don't care to debate on that. in case that's something that would prevent you from reaching out or whatever, feel like i oughta make that one clear

*i'm sorry that bit's a lie, Marty is not actually short for normal guy. if you didnt know.

**i have the source in the tags i'm not putting that shit out in the open because it's like a whooole complex thing for me (i mean i have a good few friends outside of the system and literally not a single one knows my source. i have genuinely only ever shared my source with people within this system so you're gonna have to work (open the tags and read like 2 more lines of yapping) to see that one) also i'm not that connected to begin with just basic pseudomemories

[lakeofbl00d]

Major Chord. All strings create one instrument together.

Art my subsystem and I made. It’s a vent piece, and it does have meaning. However that’s personal to us, so I’m not explaining. I figured we may as well post it though instead of just letting it sit in our files. -Clef

[canis-constellate]

WHAT IS HAPPENINGGG!!! WHY AM I STILL THE SOLE FRONTER

dad (voluntarily (usually) frontstuck four) pick me up i'm scared

[yellow-sky-selfships]

My own art of us!

kinda want to see some positivity on the timeline so 🌸

selfshippers! rb this post with your favorite art of your selfship(s) please!!

whether it was commissioned, gift, your own art, picrew, doodles, OR FAV PART FROM YOUR FIC! anything! i want to see some!! 🧡 show the love!

mine under cut :3 ↓

here's mine :3

by @literally-just-there !! 🧡 its so colorful 🥹

[alterpathy]

Alterpathy: The practice of identifying, categorizing, and identifying with fictional and imagined illnesses due to a disconnect between your external and internal understanding of yourself - while also not intending to appropriate, romanticize, or cause harm to a minority group.

this is going to be a really long post because i want to cover all the basics. future coinings will not be nearly as long.

identifying, categorizing, and identifying with: making flags, coining terms, and posting about your experience. alterpathic conditions can also be divided into a couple of categories, which are detailed later in the post.

disconnect between your external and internal understanding of yourself: for some reason, even though you're aware that this isn't how conditions that affect the body work, you experience a reoccurring condition that is serious to you. this can be because of atypical dysphoria, delusions, alternate beliefs, delusions, or anything else similar.

appropriation, romanticism, causing harm: this doesn't mean that actions you take are automatically excused of harm, but it's a silent agreement and nodding between yourself and others that you're not trying to come from a place of ableism/bigotry.

ignoring/excusing bigotry: examples of ignoring/excusing bigotry would be implying that someone can "coin" a real mental illness/other condition in the same way you can coin a gender, implying you can "transition" into a congenital condition with subliminal videos or otherwise, and anything else that goes against science's understanding of illness and neurodivergence. there's nuance to this, of course, because the psychology field isn't an absolutely perfect field that can do no wrong - it's up to the person coining/the person identifying to look at the situation and act accordingly.

examples of situations that might bring you to identify this way:

being a fictive/kin/introject/etc of a character who had a disease or type of injury that was invented for their media, like zombie diseases, cyberbrain cclerosis, the cutie pox, hanahaki disease, etc, and feeling affected by it in any way

experiencing something in your system's headspace that's like a reoccurring illness

having limbs like wings, tails, horns, etc in your headspace with some kind of damage to them that causes you phantom discomfort

feeling anxiety/frustration because you're experiencing something on a metaphysical level which you know your physical body isn't experiencing, but it's still very serious to you and possibly even hurting your quality of life

grammar:

alterpathy: 1) the practice of naming/making flags/categorizing these, "here's my mogai blog and here's my alterpathy blog"; 2) this kind of condition. "my depression and my alterpathy make it hard for me," "i might have an alterpathy but i'm not sure"

alterpathic: descriptor that describes these conditions. "it's alterpathic," "how to cope with alterpathic..."

inspiration and some context on why we're coining this

this was largely inspired by the r*dqueer term of x*nomalady, because after the system looked into it, we did see a lot of cases of people who were genuinely experiencing something serious, but didn't seem to think that there was any space other than the rqc that would be accepting of someone identifying with a disease that technically didn't exist. these cases were mixed in with genuinely ableist people who displayed the behaviors i listed above in "ignoring/excusing bigotry," which feels wrong to me, and i think that people who aren't intending to harm anyone deserve their own terminology and space.

crossover

there is some crossover with dissodic, desirdae, intusui, ethix +etc good faith terms related to feeling like you have, internally have, desire, or identify with something you technically don't, and i think that's fine. you can identify with an alterpathic term and the equivalent of it in another term umbrella, that's fine. do whatever fits best to describe your experiences.

so, is this just x*nomalady but Good?

not exactly, i don't want this to be thought of as a 1-to-1 anti rq equivalent, because again, some x*nomalady people are just coining """disorders""" for fun because they think you can do that in the same way you would a gender. this is both an identity/experience, and a silent agreement to be critical of what you're putting out into the world. this is also not focused on "coining" new conditions unless that's really necessary. (not necessary = making up a new illness for funsies. necessary = putting a name to a reoccuring condition you've been experiencing in headspace, etc.)

in the same way that terms like dissomei and intusui aren't 1-to-1 tr*nsid but Good and are separate term umbrellas that have their own nuances and notes, this is a good-faith alternative for people genuinely experiencing this kind of thing.

can i coin my own?

yes, this is open to everyone to coin! though, i will be posting a couple of flags for some alterpathic things in a couple of days, so you might want to wait until those come out so you can see how i format the post.

TDLR: considering yourself to have a condition that's not possible in reality because of some internal identity, but not in a fashion where you ignore/excuse bigotry.

can i post this term on…

wiki/term definition sites: yes, and you don't have to ask, but i would like to be informed.

pinterest/other social medias: no, never, i'm not comfortable with someone else posting my term for me.

subtypes:

when a different self began working on this, he set out two subtypes of alterpathic condition. unlike something like the age ratings in nichelink, these are absolutely optional, and you don't have to include these in your term definition if you don't want to/don't find it useful. but i think that if you're like me and like lots of details, these could be appealing, so i will include what he wrote:

Fiction-based. This is aimed at conditions that are established some way in a work of fiction/media, such as:Hanahaki Disease Slender Sickness Radiation Sickness (as seen in the Fallout series, not the IRL version) Environment-Based. Specific conditions that you can recognize are happening because of things already in your environment, like trauma, alterhuman labels, existing neurodivergent symptoms and so on. As an example, I'll mention the specific thing one of the alters in my system has that inspired me to make this subtype. He is a fictive of an angel character, but from my perspective it is vary obvious that his wings don't work and cause him muscle cramps in our headspace as a metaphor for an injury we had when were a child that gave us severe muscle cramps and required extremely painful and traumatizing physical therapy. That's something that was in our environment, so I'd call it environment-based. Subtypes are an optional category though, and you might not be able to decide/understand if yours fits into one or both, and that's fine. Also, I acknowledge that just two subtypes might not be enough to cover all the bases, and also there are probably tons of conditions that fall into both or inbetween, and that's fine. I want to "cross that bridge as we come to it", and let people who identify with this tell me their thoughts about what other words need to be coined.

flag inspiration rambles

this flag went through a lot of design phases. it was originally much more inspired by the general disability flag, because we imagined that most of the appeal would be to people who are actually disabled (mentally ill people, etc). the final flag became more inspired by existing terms for people who experience a disconnect between themself and their conditions. i saw many examples of shades of purple and pink, scalloped stripes/rounded shapes, and specifically these flags were the biggest inspirations:

dissocogni and dissophysi by @/acetrappolaswife (deactivated)

desirsick/desirill by @shrubmogai

other stuff

tags: @antiradqueerguy | @radiomogai | @archive-of-form | @everythingarchive | @mad-pride maybe? | @plurality-faq | @anti-rq-gumi | @doomsd8ydevice // ask to be untagged

"would (thing) fit this?" ask, there's tons of room for discussion and nuance.

this post was written mostly by nichie.

flag template:

hanahaki disease example:

nonfunctional angel wings example:

[plural-culture-is]

Introject culture is technically qualifying as a fictive but your source is one of our collectives oc's headmates so i could also qualify as an octive but as far as i can tell i am basically identical to my first canon and

You know what? I'm not going to think about it.

.

[hazelnut-hearts]

Some userboxes I made - Idk I did the factive one cause technically I'm a factive introject [think I'm using it right?] of Chappell but not quite comfortable using that term cause of controversy [Identity theft and all]

ANYWAYS the userboxes ♡♡♡

[These are f2u no credit/ reblog needed but if you want better ones go here \/]

[syscultureis]

ok hi um. prev anon here. what do we do if theres an alter in here whos a really bad person and who’s hurting a little and we dont know what to do. we’re like pretty new to being a system and we’re not an adult bodily and we sort of just dont know what to do cause we’re new to this

It's a hard situation because the best way to handle it changes from alter to alter

We had a really bad persecutor who was just horrible and nothing we did fixed it or helped, he just eventually mellowed out on his own

Another who we found (extremely) long walks helped him calm down and start to learn to be better (as well as several other less than ideal coping mechanisms but they don't harm the body and they help him so we let it slide)

I technically still am a persecutor and I'll admit I'm awful to the rest of the system (denial holder 🤙) and we're still figuring out how to help me out and I'm trying pretty hard myself too, so it's give and take here

Another persecutor who all it took was showing her she was hurting us and not helping and she fixed it like that

Another who is just awful to all of us, she's an introject of our own intrusive thoughts. Rn all we can do is try not to let her front (which we do not recommend, it's not healthy, it's not easy, and honestly I think it just pushes her deeper into her shit), but one of our gatekeepers says he's started to get a handle and he's found a few things that help. Idk what it is though

We did also have a persecutor at one point who was determined to hurt a specific little we have, we just had to keep them separated until we helped her calm down and now she's super protective of the little.

At the end of the day it's trial and error and it kinda really sucks, but there's no real fix it to that kind of issue. I recommend trying to talk it out, but it really does just depend on the alter

*our advice is based on personal experience and may not encompass all experiences or work for every situation

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Are there any other alters in Tim's system other than Tyler? Or is it just those two against the world?

Yup!

A lot of them I haven't named or fleshed out, they're just a vague idea, but there's definitely more of them. I don't tend to like when systems are written as only having two alters, even though that can happen, it's not very common and every time I've seen it done it's always the "poor innocent 'Real One' who is scared of their alter and has never done anything wrong ever" and the "evil alter who only wants to hurt people and ruin the 'Real One's life just for fun" and I just hate that. Also it's more fun to me to give them a semi big system.

Some that I know I wanna give Tim are:

An introject of his mother [1]

An introject of Jay [2]

Multiple other Tim's [3]

Pirate guy [4]

[1] A persecutor or similar, because I HC that she was... Not Great 💀 tho recently I read N.Gage's ideas about Tim's mum, and I do really like their idea that it was Tim's dad who was abusive and his mum left him at the hospital because she felt like she failed him. So I might incorporate some of that? Maybe Tim pretty much doesn't remember his dad's abuse, only his mother's harsh words, because he doesn't realise that she only said those things to stop Tim doing something that'd mean he got worse from his father. But as far as Tim is aware, his mother was just mean and shouted at him and insulted him a lot, he doesn't know there was a "good" reason why she was like that. I think I've already mentioned her in passing in My Girl.

[2] After a specific incident where Jay takes things too far and finally gives the system the final nudge needed to split after a bunch of things piling up. (This one's because we have a guy like that who we split at some point to hold the memories of a piece of shit ex so that we didn't have to remember the worst of them. For us he ended up choosing a new name, and even tho I personally still a bit uncomfy cofronting with him, I am getting better at not being a twat just because of his source)

[3] To me Tim feels like someone who splits fairly easily, BUT usually when they split it's to create another version of Tim. Like, I mean literally another version of Tim, like a clone of him with just a few differences, like maybe this clone is older than him, or younger, or feels like they look slightly different, maybe this one's a cis guy instead of a trans guy, y'know? They split like this because to me they need to switch the host out fairly frequently so they can continue to function, their hosts need frequent breaks, but they're also sorta not super high masking? So if they switch the host out there's a risk that people will notice and attack them for it. So the solution is, "just swap Tim out with another Tim"

If there are a few Tim's, all of whom consider themselves to Be Tim, there's less risk of people noticing something's off. All it looks like is:

"hey, how old are you?"

"uh... *Remembers* 27"

Y'know? Like it doesn't look like anything other than them being a bit distracted so taking longer to answer personal questions with definite answers.

I think all the Tim's would also have much better memory sharing, they'd be their own subsystem which mostly keep to themselves. By "subsystem" I mean within headspace they all share a body, quite literally like a system within a system, except they have very low amnesia between themselves. (All this is just because we work like this and I wanna see another system that does, cos any time I've seen systems with multiple of the same guy, it's always an introject lol.)

[4] Childhood introject from a TV show/book or something who they saw as a replacement father/parent in general figure. I think I already vaguely mentioned him in passing in My Girl

Other system members I'm thinking about giving them but am less sure about are two that kinda come as a package deal:

An introject of the Operator [1]

Another alter who technically takes the mantle of "Masky" as well as Tyler [2]

[1] idk whether it'd be an actual introject that their brain split naturally, or something they were forced to split by the operator fucking with their head as a child, but they'd have one and it'd cause havoc. I wrote out my whole idea with these two so I'll go find that and put it at the end.

[2] this guy would be a wolf, or a dog, I never fully decided, but they'd be canine in some way, though they didn't start out that way. Their job is keeping the system safe from the inside, making sure the operator introject can't get out of the woods in their headspace to fuck up anyone else. (Yes, keeping people locked up in headspace is a terrible idea most of the time, doesn't facilitate healing, but I think when it's an eldritch deity dead set on ripping your soul open like a can of beans so it can slurp out whatever it wants to, you can make an exception. Okay that means the operator introject has to be put there by The Operator. Cool that's that figured out.)

Found what I wrote when I explained these two to someone. This idea used to be one I had for Masky in general, then Tyler was the S,IL specific Masky, but I love both ideas and like. I can have both, if I wanna. Tyler's the one who usually fronts as Masky, but this wolf/dog guy does too occasionally, when they REALLY need to. Like, Tyler does a lot of the physical protection stuff whereas this guy does more internal protection.

OKAY SO. Masky takes his role as Tim's guardian and protector very seriously, we know this, we see it over and over again in MH. So what if Masky was human when he formed, he was just a general protector, but over time of dealing with the operator and ending up in the hospital, completely unable to escape it anymore because they were locked inside, he began to change. He stopped seeing himself as a human and more as a guard dog, so insys he became a literal guard dog. I can't decide if he'd just be one of those massive bear-like dogs or if he'd just be an actual wolf, but he'd be something large and canine. The process of him changing took time, he changed gradually, add some body horror stuff because Operator or whatever. At some points he was stuck half human half canine with all the right bones in the wrong places or whatever, fur forcing its way through his skin in places he didn't already have follicles before.

Anyway, the process took a long time but the final nail in the coffin of Masky seeing himself purely as a guard dog was when the operator itself showed up in their system. Whether it's an alter split naturally or something it put there itself to increase its control and influence over Tim is up to you, I haven't decided myself. No matter why, the operator is in their system, and with it it bought a new part of the IW. It's a forest, it's dark and terrifying and besides the operator it houses some of the worst memories of abuse that they have.

Masky hates the place, he's terrified of it. Every time he goes there he feels fingers running down his spine and around his ears, like something cold and unseen is petting him, like he's a lapdog, not a very capable guard dog, able to keep persecutors away from front most of the time, and able to keep Tim away from the IW woods. Despite the cold, condescending invisible fingers that run through Masky's fur whenever he's near to woods, he patrols their edges day and night. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't rest, he just patrols and partols and partols. Any time he sees a branch that's stretching a little too far out of the forest, every time he sees a sapling growing too far out, he rips it apart with his teeth.

He keeps the forest from expanding and the operator from encroaching further into the rest of their IW, the parts of the IW where it could get at the littles, where it could get to *Tim*. It's a never ending task, a job that will never be unfinished, and the longer he does it the more it effects his body, his fur grows thin, it's patchy and dry and his skin where it's bare is covered in scratches and scars where the forest tried to fight back when he tore saplings from their roots.

He gets thinner and tireder every year, but he'll never stop. He'll keep patrolling and keeping the forest in check until he's nothing but worn down bones kept together by spite and duty and love towards the rest of his system

I do think there'd be others, but they're more nebulous

Assorted littles

Someone who soothes and looks after the littles

Someone who specifically holds their joy, is able to romanticise everything, sees everything as beautiful etc [1]

Gatekeeper/s

Possible introjects of a couple of the nurses or doctors from the hospital [2]

[1] Someone who post-canon Tim used to think was him and, when he realised they weren't him, has a whole breakdown over the question of if he personally is even capable of happiness or if it's all that other alter. (He is indeed able to feel happiness, he feels it a lot when looking after Birdie)

[2] Maybe they had a favourite who was nicest to them who they introjected for comfort, maybe they had one who terrorised them who they introjected as an abuser.

But uh, yeah, Tim's system, I have many ideas and few are properly fleshed out and I don't even know if I'll end up going into much detail at all of the system in any of the fics. Simply because Tim's completely unaware of his system (except Masky/Tyler, of course but he doesn't know what that is) until a good few years post canon. There's definitely gonna be hints at it and stuff here and there, but not much.

At some point I might write an angsty little fic of entry 35 (Tim leg breaky) from Tyler's pov tho, that one I do kinda wanna do, tho it'll probably be either once the rest of S,IL is done, or it'll be just generally a while down the line.

[antiendovents]

Just found out about "build a headmate" blogs because of that free blocklist post you made and like.... I can't even begin to fathom the thought behind this.

I'm a new part. I'm technically a fictive? Introject? I don't know what to call myself, but I don't really *agree* with these labels because of my memories.

I'm experiencing what I think is known as time loss. The last important date I remember was 2008. I am 16 years into the future. Technology scares me, I don't understand most medias and jokes anymore, and everything around me feels like it's happening too fast.

And with that out of the way....

YOU'RE TELLING ME PEOPLE *WANT* THIS? THERE'S PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET WHO THINK THAT THIS AMNESIA SHIT IS COOL????

I don't have my friends. I don't have my parents. I don't have my pets. I don't even have my old clothes. I wouldn't wish this experience on ANYBODY. Not even the man who took EVERYTHING from me. And yet there are people who want to "build" people like me. Willingly.

I hate it here.

yeah... It's pathetic. Endos think they want this but they don't

Also I hope you're doing okay anon 🫂 adjusting can be hard and I'm proud of you for trying...

[insomniacsystem]

Caved and decided to post this cause I'm proud of it and damnit tac gear is hard as hell to draw so take art of Azrael and Graves.

Base/reference is by @mellon-soup!

Technically I'm an alter but I'm an introject of an OC so the tag still applies hah -Azrael

[eleos-guardians]

Kay, so as a male host in a female body, is it weird that I don't feel any draw towards being Trans? Like, I'm usually perfectly content being in a female body even though I know, as a matter of fact, that I'm a guy. I say this because I see most systems being some form of trans. Which I understand fully, it would make my life alot easier if the ship was male, but I don't exactly hate it yk. Ofc I have moments of "damn this sucks I wish I looked like myself to others" but I feel no urge to change anything about my situation (other than maybe dressing masc when it's my turn)

Is it because I'm technically considered an introject? Now, I would say maybe it's a gender crisis, but my pronouns have always been He/Him. (even though I never bring this up irl)

Mayhaps I'm just that good at masking after all this time, that it doesn't really bother me anymore. Like, as long as I'm aware of who I am and my headmates/trusted friends treat me as such; it doesn't matter all that much outside of headspace bc I'm keeping everyone safe by being good at my job as host.

This lowk just turned into a rant loll, but any input is greatly appreciated :) ~Beckett

[hexrtsrexlities]

# !! ꒰ Story Time : Pt 3 : Skz1 DR ꒱

Content Warning : This story time is a soft angst post and will contain talk about being effected negatively by DID, dissociation, depersonalization/derealization, and identity issues.

Other Parts : part one! part two! Thoughts/Headmate Com. Color Code : general thoughts , jersey , ethan , jae , kole , dean Date : January 12, 2025 Context : The kids are aware of the fact that I have d.i.d. They have known for around 3 ish months at the point this story time takes place. Skz is ot10 in this reality with Hinata (tagged at the bottom of the post) as the tenth member who is dating Hyunjin. I (Juno) am engaged with Seungmin. Also note that when Hyunjin is called Hyune that is in reference to our introject of him and not the actual person in the group.

Click For The Story Time!

Dean shrugged. "I'm not super sure, actually. Jersey had been upset about something this morning, but I don't know what." He stood up and grabbed the journal that had been laying on the bed stand. "He didn't write it down either. During our live, though, we had a raging headache, because of Hyune fronting and leaving so much during practice." "I knew something was going on during practice!" Felix exclaimed. "Jersey is rarely that critical about foot work." Seungmin tilted his head, noticing that Juno had gone quiet, seemingly thinking hard about something. i think we should come clean to stay. that is a horrible idea, dean. hear me out here. they should know what's going on with us, it'll lessen the worry. wouldn't that mean we have to tell jyp too? technically our vlogs can be whatever we want. so, no. he can find out when everyone else does. who would do it though? i say ethan or jersey. they're who everyone is familiar with. i'll do it. jersey is kinda out of commission for a minute, raina said she'd explain later. Felix cleared his throat. "Dean? You in there?" "I think we're gonna tell stay about our system." Dean blurted out. "Wait, what?" Seungmin sighed in confusion. "Didn't you guys just say that you weren't going to tell them? ever?" "I know what we said, but really think about it. It would keep the concern at bay when we're getting headaches and acting funny all the time." Dean explained further, sitting down at the head of his bed. "We wouldn't tell them everything, of course, but Ethan has already agreed to do a vlog about it." "It's up to you guys. We have your back if anyone pulls anything." Felix smiled and joined dean on the bed by his feet. "God, Jersey wasn't kidding when he said you're cliche." Dean laughed a bit.

The Vlog:

(summarized due to it being a long video)

Hi, STAY. I have been thinking recently about something and I wanted to share it with you. I had to make a script and everything, because I am nervous. [shows script he's holding]. Let me start with an introduction. Hello, my name is Ethan. You all may know me by Park Woojae or Juno. I am [pauses and takes a deep breath]. (jump cut) I have dissociative identity disorder. Firstly, I will not share the traumas that caused it nor will I give you a headcount. We are a large system and our headcount is something we are embarrassed about. However, I am going to tell you some facts about me.. us.. to further your understanding about my behavior and my wellbeing. (jump cut) My name is Ethan, as I said. I am 20 and one of our hosts. A host is a headmate who is usually around for day to day life. I look like our body in headspace. [on screen text: Headspace is an imaginary place in our mind where headmates can see eachother. It is a visual of where headmates go when they are not controlling the body.] I will include photo references for their looks but, the other headmates who you have met are: Jersey [on screen text: any prns, 24, seungmin's fiance, host] Nikole [on screen text: she/they, 19, siblings with dean, mood booster] Dean [on screen text: he/they, 25, siblings with kole, role unknown] Jaehyun [on screen text: he/they, 22, poster of covers, role unknown] These are some of the people you have probably seen in skz code. I won't tell you which episodes, but I implore you to figure it out. [laughs]. (jump cut) The members have known for a few months now and they can all relatively guess who is fronting [on screen text: Fronting just means controlling the body]. Especially Hinata. Nana can always tell 100% of the time. Only him and Rose have ever been able to guess almost all the time who it is. They can always tell when we switch. Hinata can tell by our voice changing and our body language. All of us have tells, so if you pay close attention you can start to see patterns. (jump cut) I wanted to share this information with you due to my recent live. The person who was fronting at the time was Jersey. We started to get an insane migraine during the live after not feeling 100% all day. We have figured out what caused this and I can tell you that we are okay and that we are not sick. At the end of the day, I don't expect everyone to believe me. It is impossible to expect that. However, I do hope that you watched this with an open mind and learned something new today. Our schedules will continue like normal, don't worry, I won't be missing anything. I appreciate you for making it this far into the video. Anyway, much love, Juno.

The end Comments: The comments on that video were so brutal. I was being fakeclaimed left and right by a specific fanbase (whom I will not share publicly). Most stays were super supportive and loving and it was a good experience overall. I wouldn't change what I did. Hinata: @hinatashiftz

(not a hyunjin introject!!)