#fictive shit

[holydust-conniseur]

sm fictive doodle stuff, I love ths weird lil guy

[thelunastusco]

The Dracula time loop post is funnier when you have a Dracula fictive, who sees it and is just like "once more unto the breach, dear friends" in the most tired tone imaginable lmao. This is year two for us of Daily Dracula.

[kaboomjinx]

our stupid window was swelled shut or whatever so i kept trying to open it, eventually gave up but i just tried again and i opened it

BUT I WENT TO CLOSE IT AND THE STUPID FUCKING THING SMASHED MY MIDDLE FINGER

wtf is up with me and my middle fingers.

i mean this time it was the right hand BUT WHAT THE FUCK????

[8bitgarden-sys]

We have split another sanders sides alter. It is me. Hello. Logan thus will probably change her name, as I want it and she’s not very attached to it. We’ll see. Give me some luck or however the expression goes.

[eleos-guardians]

I wrote this forever ago but I do truly hope it helps another fictive feel not as hopeless as I did then. It does get better <3

(Has anyone else not realized their source until later on? I've heard others mention it but not distinctly, yk? If you're comfortable, my chat is open if you want to share ☺️ )

I think about the moment I realized I'm a fictive. For so long, I was fooled into thinking I was a singlet, I had forgotten everything. I was plopped into the system and simply adjusted quickly, I thought it was how everyone was. They just gained consciousness in the middle of 7th grade and went from there.

God was I wrong. Things went downhill from there and years later I started hearing them. The others, my system, the people that would soon become my family, the only people who would matter again.

Even now that I was aware, I was still in the thinking that I was Her. I fully believed that I was "the core," but wow, I was wrong... again. It started with headmates joking about my appearance in the inner world (where I had never been at that time), then me realizing once again that people didn't feel the way I did about the body's appearance (i thought i was transmasc for a while). Then, I started seeing content about my source.

My heart Dropped.

It was like the feeling of when you suddenly remember something you lost long long ago; but you can't tell whether you should run and hide, or smile and embrace it.

It was like eating something most people absolutely love but to you it feels like rot on your tongue; the type to make your skin crawl and your eyes water

It was like being struck by someone you love.

I suddenly realized why I had run from my source for so long, something deep inside me knew. Knew all the things I did there, the people I lost, the people I loved. Now that I remembered I felt Crushed.

Now that I remembered who I was I felt so unbearable uncomfortable. Nothing felt the same. I was no longer a 6ft, male, nearly 20 yr old, I was stuck here. With shitty people, no abilities, just here. And I felt so alone. My old habits from my source came back, I was grasping onto who I was, desperate for any kind of familiarity, any connection I had to it. But I also felt so guilty. I felt like a monster seeing what I had to do there. I had no choice, but in this reality it seems so alien. The way people talk about me is sometimes funny, but sometimes hurtful. Sometimes I want to scream. Tell everyone who I am. But I know that would be dumb to do, sometimes I wonder if I'm real. If I really am who I think I am. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy.

Last month was the 5th year anniversary of being aware of the system. I'm doing better now, and I'm more accepting of who I am and my source. I still struggle with it sometimes though, I just hope this makes someone wise feel less alone, less how I felt, I hope this brings another fictive hope for accepting who they are, I know it's hard you can/will get through it.

[navelgazed]

The problem with trying to find an alternative to the term 'fictive' is that, for us, we functionally don't differentiate between fictives and non-fictives. The more recent term 'brain-made' for non-fictives doesn't sit right with us either. Certain fictives here belive themselves to be psychological constructs, and some non-fictives believe themselves to be cross-world travellers.

We don't like the connection between 'fictional' and fictive. To us, the fiction as it exists in this world is not a part of who we are. It is a mirror reflecting a world much like our own, but it doesn't define us or our home worlds. The debate between 'you are/are not your source' never made much sense to us for that reason. Those of us who believe ourselves to be exotravellers are who we are regardless of the media depiction in this world. I am not the character in a piece of media; it's a fictional depiction of a character that resembles me.* therefore, no, I am not defined by it, but I am also still myself. Saying 'I am not [name of character] would be just as dishonest as saying literally the fictional character I resemble.

All that being said, there is functionally no difference between myself and someone who has no fictional equivalent but believes themselves to have come from Somewhere Else. Fictive is still a useful word to tell someone in shorthand that I resemble a fictional character, but it still makes us uncomfortable. I just don't know if there is any alternative that would communicate what we mean.

*this is not saying I am somehow The Dan Heng or the original, nor am I saying that I somehow originated Dan Heng, the character; there is a clear cause-effect relationship between us seeing the character and my arrival here, and I doubt I would have come here if we hadn't interacted with that media.

[theelectricalcity]

you ever

*stares at my tag bc my birthday is in approximately 3 hours to see it blow up with fanart and whatever birthday things theres gonna be*

or is that just me lmao

[livingfictionsystem]

Still thinking about when a dear friend of mine heard what two stories I've absorbed into my soul, (The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Great Gatsby) and he was like, "Interesting how you chose two books that were written explicitly as cautionary tales and said, 'THAT'S an aspiration."

Alskxhajaj OKAY.

-Xanthe 🪶

[s-sextape]

daily affirmations: i am hot there are a shit ton of people simping over me i am adored by strangers i am amazing i am GAY AS FUCK

[secretsideblogshhhh]

The system a few months ago: shit were definitely splitting... God I hope that it's not a south park fictive

(we were hyperfixated on south park at the time)

Me, finally being confident enough to admit that I'm here yesterday: right so like um, sorry. My bad. Oops. I'm here. I'm Tweek. Gatekeeper helped hide me for a bit. Hi.

[peterjackinoff]

dude what if i could've totally done the metal bending shit the whole time and i just never found out?? it would make sense, mutations are passed down from the father and like, yknow... magneto's whole thing.. DUDE DO YOU GUYS THINK I COULD'VE DONE METAL SHIT?? I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND OUT NOW OBVIOUSLY!!!!

man if i had metallokinetic shit and i was aware of it, everyone would've hated me. i would be taking people's zippo's from their pockets and ripping the bobby pins outta people's hair,,, maybe it's better that i didn't have it or at least didn't know cause i would've been a MENACE

[sparrowdin]

Being an Introject who is very attached to my source and feelings but having absolutely no interest or confidence in looking for people to talk to is so shit innit

Not pogchamp

[systemofmycelium]

Fuck Pearl. Holy shit. Fuck you, Pearl. Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuck you. Fuck you for abusing me. Fuck you for the powdered snow. And fuck you for never apologising. Fuck you for making me be the one to apologise. Fuck you for being abusive and fuck you for playing the victim.

I'm so fucking tired of being so fucking angry but I think it's all I'll ever be.

[moze-xoxo]

i have some "official homestuck merch" but my god does it feel weird to wear

not only is it the whole My Existence Commercialized business that like every fictive probably feels but also it just makes me feel like a kid to wear The Shirt. like i wore that shirt during baby years. the sleeves are even long like they used to be

anyway. this is why i don't wear this shit it's like flashback hour

[sephirocks]

BIG TRAUNA AND ISSUES VENT COMINT UP

TW R/PE MENTION AND DRUG MENTION AND STALKER MENTION AND SUIC/DE MENT I ON AND ABUSE MENTION

So the host has basically given up on fronting and has basically merged with Sephiroth and is living his life as a side partner to Sephiroth and has started merging his memories with him and basically is becoming him it's sort of a mess and sometimes Boba (protector) and Kimblee (aggressive protector and antagonist) front because in the last week I've had someone threaten suicide to me because I called out toxicity, I found out I have a stalker who in the past stole my credit cards and drugged me and tried to rape me,my now ex boyfriend abused me and lied about it despite other ppl being present then told me I ruin everything, and also I lost my job. I think I have become sephiroth but I don't entirely have canon sephiroth it's an amalgam of Canon and weird fanfic type fanon Interpretations.

Description:

He's an angry dude with trauma about his family who wants vengeance for his pain but also is struggling with apathy but also wants to feel something. He js dominant in all ways but in the bedroom he melts into submission because he's touch starved. He craves punishment sexually because of guilt of the hurt he causes lashing out in pain against a world who's lied to him and hurt him. That's my sephiroth and is me.

[navelgazed]

I do think 'literally their source' is not the same as believing their memories happened elsewhere--like. A fictional character is incapable of growth beyond what their story dictates and fictives are a person who is capable of growth and change. I think for us the distinction is our fictive's canons happen to resemble their former lives, they don't necessarily dictate their personhood in their entirety.