#i'm just. really lost. and really tired. and really discouraged.

[deplcythebattery]

venting

[trees-can-draw]

Hm.

[wonysugar]

Heyyy this is my first time requesting something

Imagine gamergf! Sakura, who is always gaming and doesn’t gives attention to reader, so one day reader sneaks into sakura’s gaming room and kneels in front of her, kkura doesn’t even notices her presence until she feels how now her pussy is exposed, reader who starts to eat her out while she’s playing, begging reader to stop overstimulating her

cw: somnophilia, cnc (boundaries discussed beforehand ofc), bondage and overstimming (so begging!)

sakura was exhausted as fuck... originally just getting on her computer and playing geometry dash to pass the time but having it being quickly turned into an intense gaming session, as per usual, her eyes glued to the screen until like what.. two am at this point? btw doing allat while only wearing a tank top and panties because let her live anyways moving on

she just cannot for the life of her pass this godforsaken level and she's sick of it; being an incredibly competitive person, she couldn't bare backing down. she was gonna pass that level, even if it took the whole night.

you, on the other hand, have been trying to get her attention throughout the whole day. look, you loved your girlfriend, she was loving, caring, everything you could possibly want. but one thing you knew she wasn't good with; giving you attention whenever she was focused on something else. if you tried texting her, she wouldn't even see the notif. if you tried coming in her room and starting a conversation, she would give back short responses. it was difficult, if not impossible.

long story short, you were incredibly needy, and you were ready to do anything to get her to pay attention to you.

the discouraging words "attempt 1553" displaying on her screen as it lit up the dark room that she was in, her eyes fighting what felt like an invisible force that was desperately trying to close them shut. throwing her head back, she sighed exasperatedly, almost dozing off. a small break wouldn't hurt, she told herself.

yeah no, no matter how hard she tried fighting her own drowsiness, the chair was so comfy, she couldn't help but eventually give up and close her eyes. she was eepy, if you will.

and eep did she do!

what she didn't know, though, is that she was sooo incredibly tired that she didn't even notice you walking into her room and strapping her to her chair. poor bby was just sooo tired and unaware. :((

when she went to rub her eyes, she quickly realized that her hands were restrained, she noticed you under her desk and immediately looked lost, what were you doing there? suddenly, she felt the slight vibration in between her legs, already giving her sleepy brain somewhat of an idea "mmh.. love..? w-what are you doing—"

"i'm gonna untie one of your hands so you can play and win this level, okay? if you don't, i'm not letting you cum, as simple as that. also, i unplugged your headphones; i wanna make sure you won’t be lying when you'll say that you won."

"couldn't we have just— mmh— done this in bed..?" she asks, stumbling on her words as she tried to keep her eyes open.

you scoffed at her words, mocking her "do you really think i'd go to this length if you actually paid attention to me throughout the day? you seemed soo committed to passing this level, i can't just take that away from you, can i?"

she furrowed her eyebrows in guilt as she looked down at you, avoiding your gaze once her eyes started tearing up. was it the drowsiness, the sudden culpability she felt when she figured out why you were doing this, or the pleasure her clit was throbbing for?

she didn't know, she felt like she didn't know anything at that moment.

you took away the vibrator to pull down her only piece of lower clothing, her underwear. upon taking it off, you watched as the slick of her cunt stuck to the fabric of her panties, smirking at the sight. looking up at her and noticing her hard nipples through her thin tanktop. she was barely even awake and she was already this needy for you?

"slut." you spit out, making her whine in the process.

after untying one of her hands, the rest of the night turns into you pressing your favorite vibrator against her clit as you ate her out, hearing her desperate moans and cries of pleasure mixed with the, quite frankly, unserious geometry dash music coming from her speakers as she desperately tried winning. and whenever her noises got louder and her breathing got heavier? you simply took away all the sensation from her, denying her orgasm as you made her twitch with anticipation as she whined..

and the need to constantly remind her, "keep your eyes on the screen and hand on the keyboard, i'm not gonna keep repeating myself, sakura." whenever she pathetically begged you to let her cum, staring at you as tears fell from her eyes, she was just so desperate to cum :((

eventually, after like, 3 hours, she managed to pass the level. holding onto your promise, you untied her limbs and ate her out, licking all of her folds and sucking on her clit until she finished all over your tongue and lips, gripping your head and pushing you closer to her wet core. you were certain that your neighbors would have a word with you the next day the way she was screaming out your name, blabbering sleepy nonsense as she came undone under your touch :((

long story short, she slept incredibly well after you carried her to bed that night. <3

[heartshapedbubble]

Hi can I request Andrew, Luca, William, Wu Chang and Antonio reacting to having an s/o that can crush a watermelon between her thighs.

this req made me shit bricks when i first received it in august LMFAOOOO this was so fun to write anon thank you so much for this/gen

andrew, luca, william, wu chang and antonio reacting to their s/o crushing a watermelon between their thighs🕸⚡🏈☂️🎻

andrew kreiss🕸

he is... confused to say the least

when you first did it he jumped out of fear thinking you hurt yourself by doing so

this man would probably burst into flames after one pretzel stick he has NO idea how to react

....he'd be lying if he said it doesn't interest him though

like. he is INCREDIBLY lost and maybe even disturbed but like. do it again

"is this something they do to sinners in hell? can you use it as self defense? does it hurt your thighs?" a bit gulity of asking these questions ngl but he can't help it

might start avoiding you after that... simply out of fear that it was a bad omen and that you might try crushing his skull instead when he messes up in the games LMAO

william ellis🏈

not shocked at all

he didnt even fucking flinch when it burst he just stood there with his usual 😃 face

"hehe. nice. now watch me" (proceeds to crush a watermelon with his own thighs)

tbh william can be competitive as hell and he would somehow make a competition out of this too

after that whenever y'all ate watermelon in the manor he always shouted "DID YOU GUYS KNOW ___ CAN CRUSH WATERMELONS WITH THEIR THIGHS¿¿¿¿¿ GO ON ___ SHOW THEM!!!!"

might ask you details on how you train/build your thighs just in case...there's always room for self-improvement

next time he sees you he's going to whip out two watermelons and ask you if you can crush both at the same time (cheeky bastard)

luca balsa⚡

mans is just losing his shit at it

"how do you do it??????? how long did you have to build your legs for this??? at what angle does it crush the fastest/easiest???? what technique did you use???" like andrew but with zero self control or fear

so intrigued he'll whip out the nerd glasses and the notepad to study it. bring a few extra watermelons cause once he begins you'll realize it's gonna be a looooong day

i kinda think that he'd be more interested in the physics aspect of it than the crushing itself tbh

after enough research he would try to crush one with his own thighs

...which didn't really go well🥲he's got chopstick legs but we still love him

that absolutely did not discourage him though. he'll find a way to do it himself. somehow. one day.

wu chang☂️

their reactions are quite different

at first they just kinda... side eye each other. not condescendigly tho they just have to clarify they're both seeing the same thing since they didn't expect this when you told them you have a suprise for them

xie is like ☺ "thats... very cute honey!! i'm very proud of you!!!! you've been working very hard!!!!"

no idea how to properly react or process it really but since you seem really happy about it he simply has to share your enthusiasm okay!!! xie the world

fan just smirks. "now crush a pumpkin."

this motherfucker is going to tease you and give you more and more impossible physical challenges just to make you all red in your face and see you angrily give up just crush his head instead at this point

would rather drown himself in that goddamn river again than admit out loud that it's absolutely badass but it becomes obvious after some time. he's not an emotional mastermind after all

antonio paganini🎻

not overwhelmed by it either! hes just chill like dat

he finds it so funny actually - he's grown tired of all the elegant plays and balls that he experienced while playing for royalty so this little peculiar performance of yours put a wide smile on his face

it gave him a good laugh too, not in a mocking way it's just so bizarre and unexpected that he couldn't help but laugh

would joke about it like "i love a partner that can just beat the shit out of me" after seeing it lmao

"you can kill people with that, but personally i wouldn't have an issue with it if it was your thighs in question~" what a fucking flirt GET HIM OUT

if you'd challenge him to do the same he'd just give up after the first two tries... his legs aren't his best asset

he CAN crush a watermelon with his hair though. maybe you should be more careful the next time you try to wriggle out from its grip...

[stesierra]

I'm not doing very well, guys. I want to write but I've been so sick and tired for so long. This cold will never end. And I feel like I've lost what little audience I had on Tumblr because I haven't been able to post anything when my brain is mush because of baby. I'm just feeling really discouraged tonight.

[amplexadversary]

Okay I've gleefully derailed posts before but this is a big derail and kind of dumb so I'm linking it.

When I watch the linked video, I end up thinking of Allenby gossiping about the shuffles, and now I need to headcanon who would likely say what bullshit.

-"I'm going to shit your pants." -> I could see this coming from a few people. Sai is a little fucker, he would make this threat and mean it. Chibodee would say it facetiously. Domon (while I headcanon him to be pretty good with languages) probably isn't above a gaffe where he means to say "I'm going to make you shit your pants," but misspeaks (probably when the guys are getting really rowdy and distracting and everybody's talking over each other.)

-"A duck the size of a tiger would have to be quite stout, I don't know that I could vanquish such a foe." -> George, though he'd choose different words than the video.

-"I'm all wet because Allenby dropped her phone in the river and I jumped in to get it. I can't find it though, can somebody call it while my head is underwater?" -> Domon would do this reflexively. Chibodee probably would as well.

-"I think it's time I come clean, I don't actually understand how wind works." -> Sai would be the funniest person to admit this, with his wind-based super move.

-"toodaloo, kangaroos" -> Domon, because someone told him it's a thing people say in English and he's kind of gullible.

-"Why the hell do we all have identical jackets? I can never find mine. Oh, but it's probably the one with my name on it though." -> while Domon or Chibodee would probably be the most likely to have this kind of brain fart, I think it's funnier if a very tired George says this (... ignore they fact that they don't have matching anything).

-On Monday Sai dared me to eat a spider, so I did. But then later that day I was running up the hill and shit my pants a little. I think those two things were related. -> I'd believe this from three of them in different contexts. Chibodee impulsively agreed to the challenge and admits this because hes mad about it. Argo ate the spider to humor Sai and is trying to discourage the rest of the group from making a similar mistake. Domon ate the spider because Kyoji didnt not have nearly enough chances to teach Domon to be weary of this exact kind of siblingeque horseshit, and we know from how he responds to Master Asia that Domon will just do things that you tell him to. He admits it, begrudgingly, because everybody wants to know why he bailed on them for several hours.

-"Do you guys think my shirt is cute? Too bad, I'm taking it off." "You're cute that way too." -> I could see George and Chibodee, in any order. Chibodee and Domon would only be believable if they're together, and with a massive time skip for them to get comfortable over.

-"My idol is that one dude who ate an entire airplane, love that guy, don't know his name." -> Argo, sarcastically, when Chibodee makes some remark about his physique and asks "what do you eat, sheet metal?"

-"Guys I think I watched the wrong Zootopia." -> Argo probably doesn't only pirate physical goods in the space age. He got a joke translation.

-"Domon, what type of feed does Fuunsaiki like, we want to make him a cake for his birthday." -> I feel like this is George and Argo's planning, and I could see either of them being the one to ask.

-[musing about Ice Age squirrel heteronormativity] -> I think Chibodee's the only one who could reasonably have seen it. He also dyes his hair two colors of the bisexual flag and wears the third so I can see him being annoyed by it.

-"I failed to locate a bear suit, does anybody have a spare bear suit?" -> Tbh this one could be any of them, except George, who is listening with his head in his hands.

-[quoting the infamous Snapcube Eggman rant] -> This is either Sai Saici, or Argo lost a bet to Sai Saici and was told to recite this. Sai is the only one of them I can buy being chronically online enough to reference this. Chibodee looks up Shadow and immediately asks Domon if it's his fursona, which backfires because the only other person in the room who knows what a furry is is Sai.

-"Why aren't you being silly? You promised you would be silly with me." -> ARGO. Said with a straight face to George. (Sai would be too low-hanging-fruit here, but I guarantee he's also looking at George expectantly. Admittedly, part of why I can see this coming from Argo is because of choices the dub made with how he speaks.)

-"Rain sent me this picture. I thought she was telling me that she was pregnant, but this is a covid test. She does have covid." -> Domon. Also worded a little differently than the original. While he did spend half his childhood in a jungle with Master Asia, he's probably seen pregnancy tests in drug stores when they have to make very occasional supply runs. Sai has probably also showed everyone the meme where people would edit a pregnancy test into various pictures.

[lantur]

the good,

New Megan Thee Stallion and GloRilla albums this month were incredible. Combine that with the new Latto album and I really can't believe my three favorite women rappers came out with new music within weeks of each other. What are the chances?? Especially considering Megan and Glo already released new music earlier this year too.

Finished The Lost City of the Monkey God by Douglas Preston - such a good nonfiction book blending history, anthropology, archaeology, expedition, and epidemiology/public health. I loved it.

Finished Empire of Silence, Sun Eater Book #1, by Christopher Ruocchio, this week as well - such good sci-fi and I'm very interested in book two.

All grades for the first class of my MSW (master's in social work) program are in, and I got excellent grades on all of my writing. My professor was very kind encouraging about my work, and I loved the class.

I've been loving watching The IT Crowd with David. :)

I started my 605 class for my program and have been genuinely enjoying my readings so much.

the bad,

I think my days of heavy deadlifts (over 100 pounds/45 kg) are done. I pulled a muscle in my lower back deadlifting yesterday. It's my second such injury this year, despite stretching, correct form, and warming up with lighter weights before going into the heavier lifts. :(( I think it's going to take about a week to heal, which is the same thing that happened last time.

I got so wrapped up in assignments and reading for my 605 class (which I enjoy) that I accidentally missed 3 assignments for my 615 class (which I do not enjoy) that were due on Sunday night :/ I feel discouraged about it and need to catch up this week. Also worried about the volume of assignment due dates between both classes in November, especially because I'm also traveling for work from November 14 - 17.

Overall feeling tired and exasperated with many things related to work and people as well. I'm hoping to just give myself some grace and figure things out slowly with regard to all of it.

[johnschneiderblog]

John Schneider, get lost!

These bogus posts on the Facebook links to my blog - befouling the space meant for sensible discourse - are really starting to piss me off.

Obviously these self-promotions, composed in perfect AI, are not coming directly from that other John Schneider; they're coming from a bot taking orders from an algorithm created to drive this John Schneider up a wall.

Apparently every time the name shows up online, this bot regurgitates its boilerplate reply.

You may have seen them:

"Thanks for your love, encouragement and support towards me and my career. kindly send me a direct message if you wish to say Hi" -John Schneider

Mr John Schneider finally created a private page recently so express your true feelings for him by sending him a direct message on Telegram application through the link 👇🏻 You might be lucky to get a response back from him just like I did. - John Schneider

I delete the comments and "report" them (whatever that means), but the moles keep rising from the muck. At first they were merely annoying, but now I'm beginning to suspect the fake posts may be discouraging legitimate comment.

I'll continue to whack them, hoping the bot will grow tired of the game at some point. Meanwhile, bear with me.

[seraphiism]

𓆩 ღ 𓆪 𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐬

( what am i thinking, fooling myself into the belief that i'm capable of anything at all? )

chara : kaveh fandom : genshin impact quote cr : marya hornbacher a/n : gender neutral reader. talks of self-deprecation

I. 9 : 24 pm OH, BUT EVEN THE MOST BRILLIANT OF MINDS WAVER, THE PRESSURE IN PERFECTION SETTLING HEAVY ON AN ARCHITECT'S SHOULDERS. there is a tiring, a discouragement, and the creeping doubt in oneself and all the potential & glory once held in calloused hands.

how quickly time passes, slips through his fingers. the seconds tick and tick and tick ; he counts them : one two three four, but the seconds twist to hours in a blur, a haze that he cannot seek safe passage from, and he knows he is losing against time.

his head pounds, throbs with countless thoughts that race and cannot be put at ease. he shuts his eyes, elbows on his desk, and buries his face in his hands.

inhale, exhale. he is so terribly tired.

inhale again, shaky. exhale once more, trembling, on the verge of break.

he wants to give up, call it, admit defeat, admit that maybe he's lost his touch, found an ending to diamond days. he is so terribly exhausted, a worn heart beating only enough to pay grievances to muscle memory and give so little towards a withering creativity.

maybe he isn't meant for this anymore. perhaps he never was from the beginning.

inhale. exhale. a soul hangs on edge, sinews of gold awaiting in restoration for the quiet breaking of it all.

"kaveh?"

he straightens his posture, turns towards you with wide eyes. he has always worn his heart proudly on his sleeve, found vulnerability to be a beautiful thing in everyone but himself at rare times. a panic in red hues, then the forceful drowning of sorrows as he smiles a smile that doesn't meet his eyes.

you place the cup of tea before him, watching his shoulders relax at the warmth of it and the feeling of your hand on his back. he offers his thanks, smiles yet again, but there is something so heart wrenching in it that you cannot even think.

you nod, purse your lips, lean back on the desk ever so slightly. there are sketches and plans scattered about, works in progress both polished and unpolished, some wielding haphazard marks of frustration in stagnancy. you find yourself unsure of what to say, of how to comfort him, because you do not know what you can do to support him, not really. you do not share the same knowledge as he does in his craft, though you always find fascination in his ramblings for future designs and projects.

"i'm alright." he immediately tells you, hands on the teacup. it burns, yet he does not let go. he does not wish to concern you, not when the fault lies entirely with him. this should be easy, shouldn't take this long, yet he cannot make progress despite the efforts put forth. this should be easy. "just a little tired, that's all."

he watches the way your brows furrow ever so slightly, the concern on your features unable to be hidden. you reach a hand out, one he takes with such ease and gentleness. it burns.

"let go, love. it'll hurt you."

he releases his hold on the tea cup. the sensation goes away, leaves a kind numbness in its absence. you squeeze his hand, your lips a ghost of a touch against his knuckles.

"don't burn yourself, kaveh."

II. 12 : 47 am OH, BUT EVEN THE MOST RESILIENT STAGGER, THE PRESSURE IN PERFECTION SETTLING HEAVY ON AN ARCHITECT'S MIND. there is a knowing, a resignation, and the sharp doubt in oneself and all the potential & glory once held in calloused hands.

the tea cup is cold and empty, desolate. his fingers trace over it, the gold woven in porcelain so bright and yet so quick to shatter. sleep rests heavy on his eyes, lashes fluttering in failed means to stay awake, but he is losing against slumber.

his head aches ; he cannot seem to think, to move, to do anything. he is so very tired of this all. he leans back in the chair, tilts his head back and shuts his eyes.

in and out. deep breath. he releases the tension from his shoulders, loosens his jaw. he does not know how long he stills for -- it feels as if it's only seconds, but he opens his eyes to the sight of your approach, glances at the clock and realizes that minutes have passed.

he looks up at you when you lean over him, one hand resting on the chair, another pinching his cheek as you smile, fatigued. it is getting late. he is used to working through the night, but it feels later than it should, feels like time is both endless and almost nearing.

"you shouldn't wait for me." he tells you, gentle. "i'll be with you soon."

you hum, half skeptical and half amused. you lean down, kiss his forehead, then his lips, watch his wondrous smile bloom from your love.

"want more tea?"

"it's alright." kaveh responds, reaching up for you in silent plea for yet another act of ardor. "i just want you to sleep."

you kiss him again, smile against his lips.

"if you need me, i'm here, okay?"

there is a softness & kindness he is all too familiar with in your words, but there is something in the way you look at him that speaks more than either of you could ever say. you linger for a moment longer than usual as you exchange goodnights, and when you leave him, his heart feels lonelier than ever.

he can do this, he can, he tells himself, over and over, until it is a mantra of empty significance : meaningless, haunting, and worthless.

he can do this.

inhale, exhale. he is so terribly tired.

III. 4 : 13 am OH, BUT EVEN THE MOST RESOLUTE FALL, THE PRESSURE IN PERFECTION SETTLING HEAVY IN AN ARCHITECT'S HEART. there is an echo of failure, a surrendering, and the doubt in oneself and all the potential & glory once held in calloused hands.

oh, love, how his hands shake so, even in your hold.

he cannot do this, not anymore. what a lie that all was ; it is almost funny, he thinks, but he breaks entirely, cracks beneath the weight of it all. gods, he is so tired, so tired of doing this, tired of feeling like he's not enough, like he'll never be enough.

"come." you beckon him, his hand in yours as you lead him to bed. something in your heart brewed unease, knew that when you woke, he would not be at your side.

he does not bother to fight anymore, knew it was over the moment you took sight of him shrouded in heartache and misery as his tears fell and fell, endless as his mind told him of his unworthiness. how easily he let you drag him away from his work, finding himself so pitiful for seeking comfort in all he loved and knew.

you are the first to lie down in the bed you share, tugging at him gently as he follows after you. you hold him as close as you can, hand on the back of his head as his tears grace your skin, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

you stay silent, hug him as he cries until there are no tears to be found. it is quiet, this time and space that you both know to be haven.

"did you know," you begin, kissing his head as your fingers weave through blond locks, "that my haven is wherever you are?" you feel his grasp on you tighten, desperate. "everyone has somewhere that they cherish deeply, don't they? whether it's home or anywhere they feel safe."

there is something warm that falls on your skin, trails down your neck. you smile, your voice tender.

"everything and every place you have ever built is someone's haven, kaveh. you made someone's home, made a place where someone sleeps, made a place where someone falls in love. you are so wonderfully bright and brilliant-- so hardworking and kind. i won't let you forget that, not even for a little bit."

he cannot bring himself to speak, cannot even bring himself to stifle the sobs that escape. you hum a gentle lullaby, one you know that he once loved as a child, hold him until the words sink in and the self-hatred abates. it is when he finally looks at you that you stop, allow the still air to return once more. there it is, you think -- that revival of hope, a semblance of returning courage to try once again.

he tries to talk, tries to say thank you, but words are not enough, but you know. you know him as well as you know yourself, so you nod, understanding of it all.

"there's always tomorrow, dearest. we can try again tomorrow."

he is the one who nods this time, exhaustion hitting full force from everything he has felt today. yes, kaveh thinks, there is always a tomorrow. a tomorrow where he wakes by your side, a tomorrow where he wishes you a good morning, and a tomorrow to try again.

he murmurs a thank you, i love you into the etches of your skin, and finally succumbs to the divinity that is you. in the echoes of a moonlit night, you fall asleep together, knowing that there will be better days ahead.

[bosskie]

Tired

This is just one quick-ish vent art thing... It feels like I just keep feeling worse and worse, no matter what...

I'm so tired of my condition, and I experienced probably the worst inferiority complex moment I have ever had about two days ago... It felt so devastating that I cried and it was difficult to calm down. Frankly, sometimes, I have moments when I think that everyone draws better than me, all the Molluck art from the others look better than what I have ever created... I really feel like this sometimes. Two days ago it just hit me harder than ever. I have been drawing like only Molluck for three years and I'm still not pleased, still have these moments where I feel like I should quit because everyone else draws Molluck better than me and they have drawn him much less than me... I don't even really wanna argue about who does the best Molluck stuff, and I really wish that my mind didn't care about it but it just keeps telling me how I create the worst stuff and it won't ever change... Can you guess how discouraging it is? My mind is like never happy with what I have done/achieved, not even when I have proven it wrong... 'It was just luck, I didn't actually deserve it'... It's been like this for over a decade.

It was 'Molluck's words and kindness' that helped me to come over the worst moment of that inferiority complex moment. 'It's alright to take your time, to be a slow learner' he told me. I just feel like I learn drawing Molluck so slowly... I also felt like I should really quit this whole Molluck thing, leave him behind, yet again, but my heart told me that I don't really want it. I can be kind to myself like only thru Molluck...

I know that I should only compare myself to myself but I cannot help my condition... My mind just keeps telling me how I'm less worthy than everyone else and that I have already lost... It's so difficult to change this mindset when I have been living with it for so long... But yeah, about comparing myself to myself, this piece reminded me of this older piece I have done two years ago:

I guess that I have improved. I have actually lost my will to even say if I can draw or not, and especially how well... I'm just so tired of this depate inside of my head... Though I basically also painted that vent art thing to check if I can still draw a decent Molluck thing...

You might wonder why I don't get help then. Well, I got no resources for it, but I also just don't feel like I'm worth saving/helping. Also, I'm the key for the change; those professionals only help me with thinking but they cannot think for me or how I should explain this...

I really wish that I had no need to vent but I don't really wish to vent for anyone directly since this is quite heavy stuff but I'm also tired of being all alone with this shit... I have felt for years that no one actually cares or wishes to listen to my thoughts... I see that it has damaged me significantly... It's still so difficult for me to feel like I'm actually lovable or worth caring... I feel sorry for even existing, even it's not my fault but my parent's... But I still feel sorry for what I am and I tend to feel sorry for even posthing here... I'm still trying to ignore that feeling since otherwise I would like to just disapper from the web, to make it a better place. I don't even know why but I have this feeling of that I just ruin everything deep inside of me... My mind also keeps insisting that it's not true that I'm talented/skilled... But why whould anyone lie to me about that...

It's totally alright to ignore my vent and just look at my Molluck stuff. I'm already thankful for that I'm tolerated here because I'm used to that people just disappear around me... I'm also used to that no one cares when I vent, talk about my suicidal thoughts. It's been so long that I have probably wanted to end this all for over thousand times, if not thousands of times, but I have still decided to keep going, even I haven't been sure of if it's worth it. But yes, frankly, I feel like one side of me is asking for help but another side of me tells me that I'm not worth helping... I'm really not sure about what to do... But I guess that I should just keep going, like I shouldn't quit art just because of my mind's insults. Sometimes my mind wants me to regret creating this blog, that I should leave no mark behind because I only ruin stuff... Yes, my condition resticts me significantly. Like, I don't even wish to appear in anyone's notifications because of these feelings...

Yet again, I'm sorry, but my condition is just this bad. I really appreciate your understanding; this is the first place where people have showed me understanding, support and kindness with my condition but also with my 'oddness'. I really hope that you all feel better than me...

I just wish to be honest with this hell I have inside my head... Also, don't get me wrong, I do love to see Molluck stuff from the others but my ill mind just likes to use it against me... Please, don't let this affect your doings, I don't wish that, at all.

[aperfectlylesbian]

So I have this fun Agathario fic in the works where one of the concepts is a bunch of aus where Agatha x rio is canon but stayed together and stuff (minus two of them bcz that one is tragic and the other one is a wip) all meet with Agatha + teen from canon. One of the characters is Agatha + Rio’s kid from another universe, but instead of being Nicholas, her name is Nichole. Another is a Wanda Maximoff who was raised with Agatha and Rio, and another is a Tommy Maximoff who is best friends with Nicholas Scratch.

In other news I added Nichole to my fan au of ships that have children (tm) and form another avengers generation.

just wondering if you had any tips or tricks that would help me make that work out? I’ve written fanfic before but none so solely focused on multiple universes that vastly differ yet are all centralized around one thing.

scratch that I have but I never finished it and I want to finish this one-

Oh, that is, to say the least, extremely curious!

I've never been much of a multiverse person, I think that was one of the reasons I abandoned Marvel movies and series for a while.

One of the easiest things when writing different characters in different worlds is to get lost.

I don't really know what tip I can give, I'm not very good at it, but one thing is: keep centralize.

One of the things I like to do is make character sheets, I specify everything, I even write them down on post-its and stick them around my room.

When there's a lot of information, it can be a bit discouraging when writing, after all, too many ideas make you tired faster, at least that is what happens to me sometimes.

Try not to focus too much on details like face claims, locations, very elaborate things, at least not at first, and you can try to do a little trivia, it helps me a bit.

Creating an aesthetic for the character helps me a lot too! It can be a Pinterest board, a Spotify playlist, and I usually find it good to do these things before even starting to write the character.

One of the great things about the early stages of character development is that it's still a looser, less-formulated idea, so forming headcanons and creating contexts for them is much easier. As is changing these things later, due to a shift in perspective or a big, brilliant new idea during the creation phase. You just don't need to be sure of anything right away.

I don't think I have many ideas about the context of the New Avengers, since I've been so far away from the world of movies and series.

I'm going, actually, to rewatch (because I've barely seen) Hawkeye these days because I'm in love with the idea of the couple Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop!

But I must say that I found your idea quite creative! A bit too messy for me, but if you work more clearly like this, then that's how it's good.

[tired-old-men]

Dude where was this blog when I was 12? I was obsessed with the Brotherhood so much I had the whole family tree memorized. I would info dump at the drop of a hat. I would be so feral about these sad old men and no one- not my family, my friends, or even my dogs- understood what the FUCK I was even talking about so eventually I just shut up and stopped thinking about it. And then my dash is full of Knuckles and now I’m like *gasp* “THE SAD OLD MAN CLUB!” and then you are just here??? Talking about this thing that I literally thought no one except me cared about??? Hello??? Shall we have a spring wedding???

MY BROTHER IN ECHIDNA I FEEL YOU ON A METAPHYSICAL LEVEL!!! I have never connected so hard to an ask in my life. I was hella obsessed with these guys in my teens! I knew their family tree by heart, knew their lore inside and out, I doodled Edmund and Dimitri in my science notes in class constantly, shit these guys lived rent free in my brain with how much I daydreamed about them! I might have had like 3 people tops on deviantart at the time that I could even talk to about these guys, who actually knew who they were and even made art and content for them.

Then came a period of time I ended up leaving the sonic fandom entirely, probably a mixture of being made to feel discouraged in liking my interest from my offline peers and family (back when liking Sonic din't made you a cool kid but a target) as well as getting hyperfixated on other things I just... moved on sadly. It wasn't until last year I want to say, that I stumbled upon @julie-su's art and realized that it was made in recent year, that I got genuinely excited for these guys and the sonic fandom again. You can also imagine my subsequent heartbreak when I found out about the Ken Penders lawsuit and how all of these beloved characters ended up... But as the saying goes if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself! Got sad that there's no more art of these dudes time to make some! It's how I ended up coming back to tumblr and getting to meet more echidna loving individuals and honestly I wouldn't go back not one bit. I'm sad that I feel like I missed out on the Archie comic fandom era back when the comics were still publishing, but I'm glad to be making up some lost time by indulging in the grandpa gang with my online buds. I can't imagine my life without these sad old dudes living rent free in my mind, they keep me entertained, they make me laugh, and bring me much comfort. It makes me so happy to see fans of these guys and new content being made for them just get me so fucking excited and happy.

Most of the time making content for them seems like I am screaming into a void considering how obscure they can be. But in the end, I don't I think I have had more fun creating art and writing than when I started drawing them again. In a way I keep them alive in my memories through my works and that makes me happy. I know the few that know and love these characters also love to see them still around, and have been big inspirations for me to create my own stories and headcanons for these characters and I will forever be grateful for them enriching my life with their creativity. Always a delight to meet someone that loves these tired old men as much as me, your comment literally made my day! Thank you for being awesome and for even liking my works, It really means a lot to know theres still love out there for these characters. I'm always happy to chat with a fellow guardian fan so please don't be a stranger! Besides, we have to frolic down the hills of Angel Island in the eve of our honeymoon~

[moongeonight]

Are you okay?

Summary: Neville had just finished his potions class with Professor Snape and he is feeling quite useless and depressed by his horrible comments, Luckily for him, Hannah is there to help.

A/N: Here it is! I hope you like it anon!

----------------------

Neville was walking to his bedroom feeling utterly dejected after what Professor Snape had said today, He always had a hard time in that class, but today he felt like he was really getting it.

He had put in extra work over Christmas break, and he had come in that day feeling confident he might actually get a decent mark, But Professor Snape's harsh criticism of his potion had reduced him back to feeling foolish and useless.

Neville arrived at his common room, He wanted to curl up somewhere and be alone, but the common room was crowded with people playing games, talking loudly, and generally having a good time. He didn't want to interact with anyone. Instead, he looked around for a space somewhere in the room where he could sit and be alone. Luckily, he managed to find a seat alone in the corner by the fireplace.

he was there for a few minutes lost in his mind until he heard a voice.

"hey... are you okay...?" When he looked up, it was Hannah Abbott.

Neville jumped upon hearing her voice. He hadn't even realized there was anyone else around, But he looked up and saw Hannah, who was standing over him with a worried expression on her face. Neville's heart skipped a beat as he saw her looking at him, he felt butterflies every time he saw her, he didn't want her to see him in this state.

Neville quickly tried to compose himself, he wanted her to think of him as someone strong and confident, not some weak loser who would break down the second someone was hard on him, He tried to put on a smile.

"I...I'm fine...just...uhm...tired."

Hannah clearly doesn't feel very sure about this answer and tells him.

"can I sit here...?"

"Oh...y...yes of course..."

Neville feels relieved when he sees that Hannah wants to sit with him. He had felt pretty alone up until then, and it felt good to have someone sit here next to him, He smiles at her.

with the affirmation Hannah smiles back and sits next to him, which causes a rather warm silence.

Neville is not used to having Hannah this close to him, He can feel her warmth and the scent of her perfume mixed with the smell of the fire that is burning in the fireplace. He feels his face flush and his heart rate increase, He wants to say something to keep the conversation going, but he doesn't know what to say, Instead, he just sits quietly and smiles at her.

"So... Do you feel better, at least a little?" Hannah said with a somewhat worried tone.

Neville felt like he should lie and say he felt better, but he felt that it would be better to be honest with her, since she had noticed him looking upset in the first place.

"I...I... mean... I feel ok, but I'm just...uhm... a bit down about my potion result, I thought I was going to do well this time, but Professor Snape just made it worse, he made me feel horrible..."

"How horrible, seriously, Professor Snape is always so rude to you.." Hannah said with indignation.

Neville feels slightly reassured when she sympathizes with him like this.

"Y...yeah...I can't even count the number of times he's made me feel bad and discouraged. Sometimes I think he just hates me, he..."

Neville feels his throat tighten and he can't finish the sentence.

Seeing his sadness again, Hannah wrapped her arm around his waist to give him a half hug, she really wants to cheer him up, or at least distract him from his sadness a little... she had a little idea.

taking advantage of the fact that she has her hand around his waist, she begins to gently pinch his sides, tickling him.

Neville feels a warm, fuzzy sensation in his stomach when Hannah wraps her arm around his waist. He feels both the heat of her body next to his, and her hand grazing the small of his back.

Neville laughs and squirms around when he feels he being tickled, His sides are extremely ticklish, and he starts laughing uncontrollably.

"Wait...! S-stop... Hahahaha! you...you'll...k-kihihihill...me!!"

Hannah rolls her eyes slightly with a non-stop smile. "come on don't be so dramatic"

Neville tries to laugh off her comment, but he really was in an extremely ticklish place on his sides and she seems very intent on keeping it up.

"B-but I'm very sensihihitive...! Ahahaha!"

Neville is laughing so hard that he is barely able to get words out after a while.

"where? here?" She said with now a mischievous smile as she gently squeezed one of his ribs.

Neville lets out an involuntary 'eep!' at the squeeze, and his arms immediately goes up to cover his rib area.

"NO! AHAHAHA! I..I... I'm even more ticklish over thehehere..! dohohon't do it...! HAHAHA!"

Despite saying this, he feels his heart beating a little faster when she had her hand on his waist.

after a few seconds she had mercy and stopped, now patting him on the back. "heh I'm sorry maybe I got carried away, are you okay?"

Neville feels a little disappointed that she had stopped, He realizes just now how nice he felt with her hand on his side, He laughs nervously and tries to play off the whole situation.

'Y...yeah, yeah...I...I'm fine, I was just, just really ticklish I guess..."

"heh yes I can see that" she said laughing although then she calmed down a little.

"and... how do you feel now... You know... because of what happened before..."

Neville was silent for a moment and thought about the situation, it's true that... He still felt bad about what happened in that class, but... with Hannah here... maybe he had a reason to smile.

"Yeah... I'm fine now"

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who still remembers and loves CDs. Vinyl records have made a comeback and are now considered cool among certain varieties of hipster and audiophile, but CDs haven't had the same treatment.

And like, to some extent, I kinda understand that. CDs aren't cool. Records are cool. They're big and textured and elegant and they're objectively old enough to feel vintage rather than dated. They're not exactly durable but they make up for their fragility with their other positive qualities, and you could certainly argue that warping and scratches add exactly the kind of character to a record that we've lost with digital music and therefore crave from physical media. A slightly damaged CD pretty much always just becomes totally unplayable.

So I get it. And I'll readily admit that the biggest reason why I like CDs is simply that I grew up with them and have fond memories of them. But I do also think it's objectively true that there are certain positive features unique to CDs. I will never tire of the experience of giving and receiving mix CDs. You can't do that with a record. (I mean, I don't think you can? Not easily, at any rate.) And it's not the same as a playlist! It's not the same. When you make a mix CD, you not only curate the music for the recipient, you burn the disc, you decorate it, you make the sleeve or pick the jewel case and make the paper insert for it, figure out how to wrap/package it. I mean, obviously you don't have to do all of these things, but the opportunity is there for a lot of creativity and love. And in the end the person gets both the physical object as well as being able to make digital copies of the songs on their computer (which also allows them to use those songs in their future mix CDs, continuing the cycle!).

The mix CD is just so unpretentious, wholesome, and kind. It gave the average person unprecedented power over how music was curated and shared. (I mean, of course mix tapes did something similar, and maybe they deserve more credit than I give them, simply because they're from before my time; but I kind of have to assume that CD mixing is a much simpler and more efficient process.) The mix CD creates a loving context for experiencing music. Here, I made this! Special from me, for you! I think context is one of the things which we most desperately miss in this modern age, where we're fed our newest songs by the goddamn algorithm (whether that's Spotify, TikTok, YouTube, or whatever). The mix CD is personal, human, earnest and sweet.

(And yes, to some extent, playlists do this as well, and they have their own advantages. But I think the shareability of playlists, while making it possible for many more people to experience your creation, has ended up discouraging the intimate act of making something just for one other person and instead promotes the idea that what is most desirable is to have your work seen by the greatest possible number of people.)

I started thinking about this because I saw another post talking about the removal of CD/DVD drives from computers and it really does make me sad thinking that this may be the final nail in the coffin of the mix CD. I've had to depend on external disc drives to make my mixes, and I'm sure that for most people, CDs have passed totally out of their awareness.

I'm not saying the mix CD is the end all be all of sharing music. There are already lots of other ways to share music and I would quite like to think that we will continue to invent new ways. But I do find it very sad that the art of the mix CD is dying, and while the mix CD itself may be doomed, I really hope that we don't forget its virtues, and find a way to keep the spirit of the thing alive. Physical object as well as digital copies that can be shared with others, permanent ownership of the music (rather than just streaming/renting), the burning and reading of this object being cheap and accessible, personal touch/high customizability (not being limited simply to song order, a single cover image, and a short description), intimacy. These are what I don't want to lose.

[pokefarm-q]

longtime user of PFQ here, just wanted to add my two cents here

Put short Neit approached me on discord or smth (can't remember) for ERP. We did a scene with my pokesona entering a hotel/bar/brothel for pokemon and he made this character who was basically a Fennekin dominatrix, which now that i look back on it, was kinda creepy, given that the character hid her identity around the building's patrons by acting like a teasy child, because she was unevolved and could get away with it; a character acting like a child when she's a full-blown dominatrix is just creepy in hindsight. we never did make my sona and the fennekin do the deed, but we got close to that point, and it was.....i can't believe i went along with that

also i swear, neit gives his mods melan boosts because the team is a gigantic clique and i'm tired of pretending he doesn't, how does elta have that many melans given how many breaks she took? I don't deny that trading is an option, but she seems to be hatching a lot herself and melans are the "rarest of the rare" so I don't think she's doing it with just the boost from items such, i firmly believe staff get a melan boost, and even if that's really true, it's just that it LOOKS like they do and that's discouraging; took me a FULL YEAR to hatch a melan bruxish and i was happy for like a day before i lost direction and burnt out from being online on PFQ so much from before i hatched it

i'm glad i found this blog, i had no idea it was this bad, seems like the staff is utterly fucked up still, recently neit snapped at a user and it took garthic to calm people down, he did kindasorta hold neit accountable, but the apology felt half-assed and rushed and i don't think i'm going to keep playing after that incident

neit if you ever read this, please, get some help, you aren't in the right for that ERP, i was going through some stupid stuff then and looked for vices like that to calm my nerves, but again, now that look back on it, that was not wise of me and i regret it

o_O

[purecommemasolitude]

Thoughts on Eurovision second rehearsals

Because I love self-sabotaging and looking at esc videos instead of doing homework 🤪

I'm lowkey getting scared for a lot of countries I thought were safe ngl

Norway - The LED on the floor is neat, but her vocals and energy seem a bit off? I still think her pre-party vocals was just cause she decided to have fun at them, which, fair, and I do think a lot of this will be fixed by the energy a live audience brings (depending on the audience it make elevate one's performance tenfold), but we'll see

Malta - This seems a bit less fun than the first snippets seemed, but once again I bet a lot of that is the lack of live audience. I bet it'll look great for a first-time audience, though, and I think they're going to do much better than I initially expected

Serbia - This is either going to place very well or incredibly flop, and I'm soso scared as to which one :(. I don't mind the word projections so long as they don't over-use them, but I'm scared the graphic on the LEDs will discourage people from voting :((. The lighting and everything looks great I am just full of fear

Latvia - This looks great!! Honestly, at this point I'm convinced they're qualifying (and will be soso sad if they don't). I was right when I predicted camerawork would make this, and I'm relieved the camerawork does seem to be good. Hoping they have now found their costumes elemayo, and also I'm really happy they managed to bring the lights!! The blurry shot right before it cuts off also looks intriguing and I'm sososo excited to see their final performance

Portugal - This is another country I'm getting worried about-- she seems tired, and I can't tell if that's true or if I'm just looking for things to be scared about, but I'm hoping this will once again be solved by live audience. The dress is doing the opposite of growing on me, but the rest of her styling looks good!

Ireland - I like Conor's costume here better than the last one by far (I'm pretty sure they're different but I can't bring myself to check), however I'm not as much a fan of his vocals :( I'm by no means a vocal expert, but his particular rasp sounds unhealthy and bad vibes, even if it actually isn't. I don't know, we'll see how he sings the night of the semi-final. I really like the gold into multi-colour in the chorus decision though!

Croatia - Their staging actually looks really clean and good, I'm intrigued as to what their full performance will look like. The cut-off being right after Lenin with his bombs and the lightning is really funny

Switzerland - I'm actually really scared for their staging now :(( the pyro and the smoke and the rapidly shifting lighting and the everything is just So Much visual stimuli and I'm scared it'll take away from their actual song by a lot. Still don't really like his outfit, but that is way overshadowed by my staging worries. The last second right before the cut away looks good though, so I'm hoping the rest of it is still okay

Israel - The more I watch this, the more I actually like the choreography for the dance break less, which I wasn't expecting. However, I'm sure Noa will sell it even more with the energy from a live audience yadda yadda yadda. My main complaint is the far-away shots, especially the one when they do the fancy spin-- it's such a cool moment, and making the audience not look at it is such a baffling choice??? Israel don't you want to do well. But overall I have no doubt they'll place high

Moldova - Not much to say here again, other than that it's very very well-done and that it bugs me that he's ever-so-slightly off-centre in the circle

Sweden - Ohh no :(( I knew something would be lost with the downsizing of the platforms, but it seems to fall so much flatter now-- hoping it will still look cool for first-time viewers. I'm really not a fan of the lighting, it washes Loreen out and makes everything so much less atmospheric IMO. Also I think there was smoke in her Melfest performance that's missing here? If so I wish it were back. Overall it is still good, and I hope she pulls off the semi performance

Azerbaijan - This might??? Qualify???? After all????? Or I may just be losing it. I really like the staging, the lighting especially is great, the camerawork adds a lot, and if they pull off everything just right, they miiiiight just qualify

Czechia - I have gone from very optimistic to oh so scared again. Their vocals seem off a little, I mislike a lot of how they're using the LEDs, I'm baffled by some of the choreography choices, and overall I just really really hope it looks better in the three minutes than it does here (I am also being overly pessimistic about them because I am so so scared). At least the sound for the rap part is finally not awful though!

The Netherlands - They might qualify?? Maybe??? It's pretty nice, Good camerawork (mostly), the costumes are still nice and it's pretty atmospheric, which is needed for a performance like this. I don't know if it would've worked better had they gone with strictly lights instead of LEDs, but overall it's a decent job

Finland - I mean obviously the beginning of this is going to bring the house down come semi-final. I'm very excited, the staging seems great. Again not much to say here, other than the first shot amuses me (he's just a little guy) and that live audiences bla bla you get it by now