#i'm just slow to post things
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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TSC 2 IS CALLED THE GOLDEN RAVEN AND JEAN'S BIRTHDAY IS 11/9 TO MIRROR NEIL'S 1/19 BECAUSE THEY'RE CONNECTED EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP I CAN'T HANDLE THIS AT 3 AM
#i have so many things to do tomorrow how am i supposed to function like this#NORA WHAT????#AAAAAAA#i really bitch about that woman 24/7 but the moment she starts posting again i act like i've just received a prophecy from GOD#I MISSED JEAN'S BIRTHDAY THO FUCK I'LL DRAW HIM TOMORROW GUYS I SWEAR#and i'm working on a kevjean fic i'll post... at some point? idk i'm barely halfway done#i've been adding to it sporadically when work is slow#anyway#aftg#all for the game#jean moreau#aftg trilogy#the sunshine court#the golden raven#tsc#jean yves moreau#neil josten
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we've read about dick and tim being pathetic, but I wanna know the strange, stoic way Damian would be pathetic for reader if you're up for it :) I love your writing!!!
Points at camera like I'm on a gameshow! You, dear reader are lucky you came to the right blog!!!
So, we all know what cats are like when they like someone, right?? Just, following them around constantly. They don't want pets, they don't want to get picked up, they just want to watch you from a distance of five to twenty feet. Anyway, that's Damian!
He's in love with you, he needs you, he wants to keep you, but he has his pride!! Well, for a while at least. He's clingy, of course but he just... pretends he isn't?? It doesn't really work after the first few times. Pressing kisses to your forehead and holding your hand. And he'll do it while he's glaring at you.
Now, if you break up with him or reject him, you are going to see true brattiness. Monstrously bratty. How dare you? How dare you think you can leave him, reject him? He's the heir to the Al Ghul and Wayne dynasties. He gives you everything. And you don't accept it?
...Okay, you thought he'd stomp off after that. He's not leaving?? He's just... sitting outside your house...?? Why the hell is he glaring at you through your window???? It's not your fault????? Damian, however, is absolutely certain it is your fault. He will sit there through rain and snow, deliver you gifts and takeout, and wait sadly and grumpily till you take him back. And I thought he was impatient!
Unfortunately, while you saw him as a cat, he thought the same with you. While you see him as tame, he thinks of you as some wild alley cat that needs to be caught for it's own good. He just needs to slowly acclimate you to him and you guys will be right as rain. Maybe some treats will make you like him more? He'll figure it out, that he's confident of. Don't tell him he's being silly, you will just make things worse.
#sophie speaks#sophie answers#yandere batfam#he is impatient btw he probably breaks in when you're not looking#if this goes on too long things start getting even weirder but I'm not entirely sure yet what it looks like yet#but it gets WEIRD#hes a slow burn ive said it before#hes just fucking weird#points at a character i like: autism rizz#ive got so many versions of him in my head which are kinda conflicting#but i think this is how i think I'm characterising him?? how it seems to be falling at least#did i post that thing where he locks you in a cage but he cant get you to love him so you're both just upset and stuck together??#i think i did it was one of the alphabets
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Smallidarity fans must be going wild after today's Guess The Build
#joel smallishbeans#jimmy solidarity#smallidarity#trafficshipping#guess the build#Amyy speaks#idk how to tag this#Gay block men#There#Just realised someone posted the exact same thing before me lmao#I'm very slow#At brain things and posting shit posts#smallishbeans
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ALL OF US STRANGERS (2023) dir. ANDREW HAIGH
#filmedit#filmgifs#movieedit#moviegifs#All of Us Strangers#aousedit#filmtvdaily#filmtvcentral#cinemapix#fyeahmovies#dailyflicks#mine*#mygifs#movies*#I can't believe this is done. and you won't believe how long it took me to make it. insane... because it's just a scene#I didn't even use different fonts. or a cool template. or transitions... it was a single scene... but look... I made captures for 10 gifs#and things kept happening and I kept finding little gestures and beautiful things and I just couldn't keep them out the gifs#I mean look at Harry and that slow realization. please look at the glow around his shoulders at the beginning#and how ethereal and out of this world he already is AND THEN when Adam says 'I found you' he becomes more... real and present!#and those eyes and the intensity of that 'you're here' and their eyes and faces and smiles and how Harry's desperate but Adam calms him dow#and his voice when he asks 'how come no one found me?' the realization that people didn't care to check on him. it screamed to my soul#I haven't stopped thinking about that scene since the moment I first watched it#honestly... I wish I could live in this scene forever#now this is a super long post and I know it won't get many notes and it was surely made before... but I needed to make this for myself...#so here it is :) I'm tired but I love it#GOD the way Harry goes full baby when Adam caresses his cheek and he SMILES LIKE THAT! AHHHHHHH!#*runs down the hill screaming*
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Tarlos Wedding Celebration Event [Week 6] -> favorite outfit(s)-> TK
#911 lone star#911lsedit#tk strand#tarlosweddingevent#tarlosweddingcelebration#I had a hard time picking for TK cause I genuinely like a lot of his clothes throughout the seasons#I clearly have a thing for sweaters though#also must acknowledge that pink shirt gif - 👀 dat ass tho#I am very late in posting this#I'm behind on all the gif sets I've been in the middle of making oops lol#(so if you've sent me a request at all in the past few weeks just know I'm not ignoring you. just slow like a turtle currently) 🐢#my gifs
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sorry everyone, I'm very much alive 🏃♂️
sorta homeless, staying with a friend. got a house in my name from the 19th onwards so that's chill! chronically ill, too fatigued to do a lot of things but I'm trying 🤟 kind of accepting that I'm joining the disability club.
trying my hand at art again, but very very slowly easing back into it. appreciate those who reached out to me <3
thinking about you all. missed my moots :)
#cheeky life update x#very. very sorry for not being active here#i hope you're all doing well#want to start posting about things I like again :') like wayhaven. mass effect. lotr. etc etc etc etc there's too many to list shhshaha#i am very much okay btw aside from the chronic stuff. like I'm safe with my friend. signed the lease to my house for 2nd year at uni!#just. ill. and fatigued. not hospital sending ill but still trying to recover from january. it's going slowly :(#ed mention -> an*rexia is a bitch to deal with. am trying! like I said recovery is. v slow. but I'm trying 🤟
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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hii happy pride month, have a little 'you're a dog (i'm your man)' chapter four snippet as an apology for radio silence <33
���Did I wake you?” Gale asks, glancing at John apologetically, but John looks up from his effort to avoid muddy puddles to shake his head. Gale supposes it’s a silly question; John sleeps like a rock, dead to disturbances made by anything other than his own brain.
“Just my sixth sense,” John says, shrugging and shooting him a small smile. Gale snorts.
“You got a radar for me?” He teases, and John smiles wider, eyes crinkling.
“Built in,” he answers matter–of–factly, raising a hand and making a fist over the center of his chest before dropping it, returning his vigilant gaze to the uneven ground. Gale stares for a moment longer, floored not for the first time by John’s apparent obliviousness to the weight of his sentimentality.
Even knowing John how he does, it’s always unexpected coming from someone who a stranger might assume to be brazen and surface–level; John’s loud mouth and wandering hands do him no favours in that regard.
But Gale does know John, like an extension of himself half the time, and still he manages to render him speechless. The way his heart flutters as the sentiment hangs in the air makes Gale want to reach down his throat and squeeze it until it never beats again.
#slow progress but progress#dog coded bucky fic#still sick unfortunately lol i thought i was lucky enough for it to just be a week thing but i forget i am chronically ill!#(read: i gaslight myself into thinking i'm normal sometimes)#i'm trying to get this chapter done before i reply to asks/post other stuff#bc i rly only have the mental capacity for one or the other at once atm :( but i miss you guys and being deranged here SO BAD. so so bad#thank u for the endlessly kind messages and your boundless patience oh my word <3 it rly is so reassuring mwah hugs#i rly do feel so bad for not replying to @s and messages tho i just have so little energy rn so i am conserving it :(#but i read them all whenever the migraine brainfog subsides enough to scroll and i smile and weep simultaneously <33#so if i have not replied to ur msg. i promise it is nothing personal i'm just a walking corpse and will get back to u when i can <3#and that's my boring author's life behind the scenes update JSKGD my bad y'all#buckbucky
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WOWIE STILL A LOT OF OOMFS (AFFECTIONATE) HERE...... i have been basically going all >:D 🫵 !! at every notif bc HIIII HIIII 🫶💓💗💞
#&&. out of#PARDON I AM STILL SO SLOW but i rlly wanna get back in the groove here damn#IM GNNA POST SPOILERS ABT THE THING THAT SPARKED MY COMEBACK HERE THO BC I HAVE BEEN LOSING MY MIND OVER IT GOSH#BUT IN THE MEANTIME#🥺🥺🥺🫶🫶#also methinks moving forward i'm just gonna forgo formatting bc i'm too tired for that VWKCJWKDJS#OR LIKE very minimal.....#i'm still updating some stuff here uwu uwu ✨️✨️#(peep the new blog title and mobile desc ! tis from some recent h.akuno content hehehe <333)#I HAVE BEEN FED SO WELL LATELY GUYS I WANNA YELL ABT IT SO BAD BUT AAAAA#WILL SPOILER IT OFC !!! i have....... so many thoughts
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This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.
Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.
The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."
She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.
With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.
Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.
She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!
Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?
She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.
Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.
Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.
Or her lover will.
I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.
#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#dao tabris#warden tabris#i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious#the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike#i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too#playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development#and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual#and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again#i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc#oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop#even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren*#but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws#and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance#while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris#in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe#and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough#to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D:#and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible*#i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time#excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay#also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden#so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case#i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read
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just a guy and his snowpal ⛄❄️
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 screenshots#simblr#it's missing my pixel son grant hours#actually i've seen a lot of him lately bc i've been working super hard on story posts - yippee yippeee!!#it's just going slow but i swear they're coming again *pinky promise*#btw if you are reading the tags and you do read the story - question??#do y'all prefer waiting for me to finish a whole bunch so a cohesive arc is released over a short span all at once?#or do you prefer more frequent updates mini updates that just take longer to cover the arc overall?#if that makes sense#it's much easier for me to do the former bc i've styled my story that way but i notice a lot of people do mini but frequent updates instead#and i'm just kinda curious if one would work better than the other or if people have preferences as readers#i don't know that i would retool it bc i like the long drawn out scenes/arcs i do but i also do want to make more story#and the potential is maybeeee there that i could push things out faster as for the whole narrative if i don't wait until i have time to mas#produce the content#like rn because i'm doing a whole sprint to finish this one arc all at once but i had to wait forever until i had christmas break to do it#holocene.png#hlcn: story extras#hlcn: grant
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I swear I'm trying to update stuff guys I'm sorry ahhhhhh
#apollart#sunny speaks#I love making fic#but also writing is so much more difficult for me than drawing#I get really hypercritical of my own writing so if it's not Perfect tm I feel like I can't post it#but I promise I am working on stuff! I'm not abandoning things I'm just slow :')
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uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33
good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':
( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )
i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!
( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )
***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx
i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands
( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**
**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )
...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...
...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c
BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )
today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...
AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D
and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!
nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.
unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.
( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )
until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )
KALE SEITAN! ;)
posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )
-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...
...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )
and i'm calling it...
<3
p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.
so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33
thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*
~SCHARLET sLUt~
cheers! mazel! ;) xx
-uncle nina, in her healing era <3
#hello my friends#it's really good to hear from you again#specifically whatever friend sent this message in! thank you my darling! i am sorry for the fright#but i am VERY EXCITED to start writing again#slowly but surely; baby steps#i want to fill in the tags more but even tho i did sleep very peacefully last late nite bit i am running on almost NO sleep#and not to be baby asf i cried a LOOOOOT last night and this past week/past weeks ( i have no conception of time )#its my slayolay cursed ravenstamulet demonic kennygal curse#and my eyes hurt A LOT so i will leave it at this! i hope you guys are as excited for it as i am and tbh i am actually thinking#that nuking my blog and starting over was a good idea bc i was a little too overwhelmed and i am excited for the fresh start#and now i can write my fanfiction with all the new information i gathered and was able to process and plot out using your#messages and questions! which makes i can now craft the most updated slightly unplugged better longer and uncut vers#of my fanfiction yet! ( i might consider rewriting pep after if i have the strength of will and the time to kill -- i am also going to#start going to regular 4 day a week multi hour outpaitent therapy and my medications were just upped and seem to be#...beginning to work? me thinks? YAY???!!!! <333 either way i am going to take things slow and do what makes me happy#i want to post snippets on here when i can and it is almost my birthday! t-minus two days! wooo! and my final thought is#if you rem(ember) anyone or have a pal you know was interested in my stuff/wants to refind me/tell em i'm not dead#you can direct them to this blog and this post ( all i ask is that no one make a large post or large deal about it because i am#very skittish and all that attention is WHY i had that bipolar episode among other irl things so i hope you heal i love you#smile pendejo and its good to be back ( even if its with one foot in the void and the other in a hellokitty roller blade ) xx
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This is going to be Sydney when trying Carmy's dish (if they show a flashback to her food tour in New York):
These three gifs are for gifs sake. Not mine obv.
#sydcarmy#the bear#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#sydney x carmy#carmy x sydney#I thought about this shortly after I rejoned tumblr for sydcarmy#this inspired a fic idea but since I'm me I doubt I'll write it so this is the next best thing#here's part of what I wrote for this post originally:#Cut back to Sydney in a proudly elegant#yet sterile restaurant setting and the most beautiful meal she's ever seen is placed in front of her#(I don't know how she'd know it was Carmy that made it#but that aside)#she takes the first bite and it's all slow and cheekily seductive#akin to this scene from Apothecary Diaries#and Sydney says. “This is exquisite.”#just a fun post
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I hope this blog is great AI dataset poison. Of course I have 3rd party sharing turned off, but it's not like an AI company is actually gonna listen to that stuff
The majority of generated transformers imagery I've seen is already just blobs of color. Ironically, robots are hard for AI to understand. And here am I, with hundreds of scruched up little (though maybe even too little to be included in a dataset) images, selected specifically for looking weird, all tagged various transformers characters. Just imagine what all those croissant Arcees could do to an image generator!
#not a face#anti ai#random thing i thought of a few days ago but forgot to post until now#i'm sorry i haven't responded to so many people yet#irl stuff has gotten to me and i haven't had the energy to try and get my slow laptop to run tumblr#so i've just been relying on the queue which is actually stocked for once#i'd be lying if i said everything was okay but it's also nothing to be worried about#just one of those 'life happens' situations that was inevitable and a long time coming#ok it's not even a 'situation' really#i knew a sad thing was going to happen and then it happened and now it's over#it's not that bad i promise this has happened to me like 30 times already and i know how to deal with it#and having to deal with it is basically the only consequence#sorry for the 4am trauma dump#i guess messing up my sleep schedule was also a consequence lol
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