#i'm fucking done with life
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#love having a sibling who y'know#inspires feelings of great envy and personal failure in me#aka who has the pretty gf and well paying fulltime job and stable mental health and - as of today - owns a home#:)#i'm done#i'm fucking done with life#i just don't think i can keep doing this and i don't really WANT to keep doing this#i'm so tired of fighting and just being leveled with the ground whenever i think i've found some sort of stable footing#and then seeing the people around me march ahead while i'm stuck and drowning in fucking shit#i don't have the energy anymore#i don't have the hope#i just want it to end tbh#that's what i keep circling back to again and again#i'm over it#it's not gonna change for me it's not gonna get better and i can't fight anymore#personal tw#mental health tw#suicidal ideation tw
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dadkarios doods sponsored by my stress migraine
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#galemance#dadkarios#gale dekarios#tav#and ft cyra's fancy cane!!#the only thing that got mabel into the world was cyra knowing she couldn't kill gale until it was over#and of course she's just a smaller version of gale bc life isn't fair#i'm so fucking TIRED bc i had a job interview today and my body has just come down from being in panic mode all week#these were almost done days ago but i was in a Lot of pain and we didn't have any painkillers
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DANA SCULLY & FOX MULDER — the x files
you were my friend and you told me the truth. even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant. my touchstone.
#my gifs#em.txf#the x files#txfedit#msr#msredit#useremsi#usergabriella#singinprincess#userairi#useramys12#usergeorgette#useralien#dailytxf#crimeshowsource#otpsource#*#fourteenthofaugust#anyway they have consumed my life#i am fucking SCREAMING#i was supposed to do a different set lol oops#WHEN SHE SAYS I'M IN THE MIDDLE#SHE'S SOOOOO CUTE#also i'm sure this has been done before but i had to
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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I've only ever seen people talking about how short Lucifer looks here
BUT??? CHARLIE????? GIRL IS TALL AF I LOVE THIS ACTUALLY
#hazbin hotel#charlie hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#vaggie hazbin hotel#chaggie#chaggie hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#oh yeah btw this was posted by the official hazbin twitter account#i've heard they leaked episodes 1 and 2 and i'm just so done#it happened with owl house and it's happening now#I fear for my life...and for spoilers#FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO LEAKED THE EPISODES GODAMMIT#:[
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Red is a good color
#I havent drawn anything other than work stuff for a while#nice to be able to sketch something#yes this is a sketch for me okay. I just added FX on top so it feels more not sketchy#anyway. I love steve#read my comic#its called time and time again#I'm so tired#life stuff has been rough#I'll be back#bye#time and time again#steve#hes hot. this was by request from a friend#sort of. I mean it was. she was joking but then I did it anyways#cause#I mean#look at him...#anyways yeah I have to get more comic stuff done#so that I can catch up to be able to thumbnail the rest of the series#and then also so I can get going on the book again...#aaaaa. and I have commissions#I'm fucked HAHAHAHAHAH#anyways. 2 hours on this is fine#this is fine#LMGJSALGKSAJGLDKAJGLKASG#ok bye actually
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stuck between a rock and a hard place
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#slenderverse#everymanhybrid#emh#habit emh#emh habit#everymanhybrid habit#vinnie emh#vinny everyman#vincent everyman#vinnie everyman#emh vinny#why do both of these fuckers have so many tags 😭#anyways fuck adobe illustrator for real I'm finally done I'm finally free this was the last project with it#exporting this image was the worst process of my life do not even get me started#literally was so done with it yesterday I completely forgot to post this after lmao
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drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death
#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#barghestland#arthur morgan#art#artists on tumblr#this week life was so fucking horrible i'm on the edge of having a little breakdown#and when im sad and stressed and done with life i just draw arthur#cuz his depressed ass would understand#u know.. yeah :(#i hope whoever reads it is having a better time#if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3#like tell me silly names of ur pets or facts about ur favorite bugs#i'd be happy to hear that
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unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary for you to go out to do your work or school, then participate in the strike. i get it, life happens. sometimes you can't skip stuff. hell, even i can't skip everything tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you can't do your part. do what is absolutely necessary for you and your life, and then join the strike for us. join a protest, don't go out to eat, post more awareness on social media, do whatever you can. if you can't do one thing then find something else to do. there are countless ways you can help. do not feel guilty that you have to take care of your life, but try to give as much of your time and dedication to supporting the palestinian cause. good night and free palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸
#i get it guys#it's finals season#hell i can't even skip my classes tomorrow because i was gone all last week and i'm devastatingly behind and need to catch up on my classes#or else i'm going to fuck up my life even worse than it already is#like i get it#but once you're done with your work then please strike with us#show support#palestine#free palestine
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I watched the Granada Holmes Hound of the Baskervilles and this is my explanation (and defense ?) of Holmes just absolutely horrible looking stew.
[ID: a digital drawing of Sherlock Holmes. He's walking across a moor with his hands behind his back, holding a letter. A thought bubble above him reads "I forgot my damn stew by the fire." /End ID]
#he just horribly overcooked that stew i know it#like my man I'm german I've eaten lots of gross looking stews in my life but this truly is#the worst anyone has ever done#Sherlock Holmes#the whole scene was soooo fucking funny tho#watson tries so hard to politely deny on trying the stew but Holmes seems so proud of it and keeps telling watson to try it#and watson just :|
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do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great
i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually
#ramble#yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am#and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks#i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me#one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know#i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary#some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier#and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless#signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow
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Jon Snow and Sansa Stark in Art
Prince Ivan on the Grey Wolf / Viktor Vasnetsov A Foster Mother / Charles Sillem Lidderdale Portrait of a Young Woman (detail) / Pierre-Auguste Cot King Arthur (detail) / Charles Ernest Butler Portrait of a Young Girl / Konstantin Yegorovich Makovsky Dante and Beatrice in the Garden / Cesare Saccaggi
#jonsa#i have a billion things to do for uni atm so u knowwww i'm fucking around with my jonsa bullshit#my brain literally gets obsessed with making random shit whenever i have actual work to do that will impact my life#the art for jon being a girl bc he’s too pretty. definitely not bc i found the pic first and then reverse image searched to find the info#and by that time the edit was already done and idgaf#art#sansa stark art#jon snow art
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'alright, Ustaad ji, who is this tone deaf creature?' 'this is the great Saeeda Bai from Agra!' 'why would a woman from Lahore waste her time listening to a woman from Agra?' — ep 1 - the queen of heeramandi | heeramandi, 2024, dir. sanjay leela bhansali.
#tv: heeramandi#heeramandi#manisha koirala#manishakoiralaedit#bollywood#bollywood2#bollywoodedit#bollywoodgifs#asiancentral#asiansincinema#dailybollywoodqueens#southasiansource#smudgedhenna#iheartmastani#baawri#weheartbollywood#dailyworldcinema#hindi cinema#userdivides#dailyflicks#cinematicsource#cinematv#dailytvfilmgifs#tvandfilm#sanjay leela bhansali#local gay watches Bollywood.txt#local gay watches Heeramandi (and hopefully comes out intact).txt#saw a post with a screenshot of this scene that was like 'what i look like when my mehndi fly as fuck on Chaand Raat' or something#and when i tell you i yelled. honestly tho i want to get mehndi/henna done at least once in my life. maybe if i'm moved out by next Ramadan#(not 2025. that's too soon alas)
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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Very interesting how in the duga ending Perseus is genuinely delighted that you're still alive and welcomes you back as his comrade with open arms and he's supposed to be the bad guy whereas the "good guys" of the game make it very clear in their treatment of you that they do not think of you as a person let alone their friend.
#Woods and Mason are perhaps the only innocent ones on the “good” side and thats ONLY if they didn't know#They still aren't good people though by virtue of being CIA though#whatever protestations Park Sims and Lazar may have had it wasn't enough#Duga ending 4 lyfe#fuck the west i'm going to side with the people who see me as their equal not their dog#The only downside of the Duga ending is Bell being hard wired to want Adler/Parks approval and now having to go on knowing they will never#be able to attain it#both because of their “betrayal” and because it was never trult possible for them to get the approval and relationship of comradery#that they wanted#its like any other relationship with an abuse authority figure that is out of your life now#the desire for their approval and what you could have done differently to get it never goes away#cod cw#cod cold war#black ops cold war#black ops cw#call of duty black ops cold war
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