#i'm drained.
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pardon me being a little scrambled here and there, i managed to fuck my leg up in a way we've never experienced before this weekend while at the arcade.
on the heels of multiple months now of total nightmare attempts to secure different housing & dealing with family, i'm just like. doing my best with a brain that is mush.
#i don't think i've posted at all about the housing sitch on here yet because it's been#changing rollercoaster style day by day#i have the worst luck. i am on application attempt number 3 after getting literally within range of move in date TWICE now.#i have very very little social support in person and it's been a real trying fucking time and i'd be#lying if i said i wasn't getting close to just giving the fuck up for now#i haven't really bought myself anything nice outside of arcade trips for a month and a half and#while i know people go longer than that! i'm sorry!#it has been fucking rough.#**sorry TWO AND A HALF MONTHS#guh. possibly more than that because the damn teeth were an issue just before this!#i'm drained.#tekkapost
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He's a bit too excited to see you clock in
#my art#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#just for reference - I'm not back</3 just posting whatever piled up#i won't be active socially/with reblogs. sorry!#I'd love to but I'm running really low on energy and responding to anything drains me as i put too much thought in it and get anxious :(#but i see and read everything!! and your engagement does really encourage me a lot. thank you!#also#i wonder if anyone recognises the pose lol
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I finally made one! Happy dragon age day everyone
(prints)
#dragon age#dragon age day#dragon age the veilguard#dragonageday#arlathan#arlathan forest#datv#my art#legionofpotatoes#this took forever and I kept being interrupted by my own government wanting to send me down the drain#but I managed just in time. I'm exhausted haha#i was so happy to just wander in arlathan snapping photos and looking around. such an incredibly vibrant and rich level
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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suic1de has been heavy on my heart lately
#mentally tired#mentally drained#mentally exhausted#actually mentally ill#mentally unstable#mentally fucked#mental illness#mental health#actually sad#depressing life#depressing shit#i'm sad#kinda depressing#actually bipolar#actually bpd#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#bpd favorite person#bpd vent#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd splitting#bipolar things#bipolar thoughts#bipolor#sorry for being depressing#bpd#tw depressing stuff#my inner demons
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Kate Bishop & Yelena Belova Vampire!AU
"She looked so pretty like the Devil."
#hawkeye#black widow#kate bishop#yelena belova#kate bishop x yelena belova#yelena belova x kate bishop#bishova#hailee steinfeld#florence pugh#sinners (2025)#vampire kate bishop#***#is it really an AU if your mother was murdered by your dad and then was resurrected as a half-vampire?#vampire hunter!yelena hunting down an evil vampire katie-kate???#it's family business after all#yelena relents and learns to compromise because i guess kate's Just eating boys (and drinking but not draining girls)#the way I'm too seated for sinners is terrifying the staff at the cinema#do NOT ask me how long it took me to colour match this on a colour inaccurate screen
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ultimate ships challenge - [2/10] she cleans up nicely scenes
#filmedit#perioddramaedit#perioddramagif#weloveperioddrama#perioddramasource#dailyflicks#otpsource#titanicedit#myedit#ultimate ships challenge#titanic#in an effort to make this not look yellow I seem to have drained ALL warmth out of it and I am sad about it#feel like I'm not quite firing on all cylinders with giffing again yet#1k
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#sadnees#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#i'm sad#depressing life#tw depressing stuff#childhood trauma#poetic#childhood#mixed art#artists on tumblr#struggling mentally#mentally drained#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#childhood ptsd#childhood truama#truamacore#tw truama#kill my thoughts#kill my feelings#kill my life#deppressed#depressing quotes#poetry quotes#sad poetry#sad poem#writers and poets#this is a cry for help
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Page 47 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Felix takes the risk of opening up to his uncle and dragging old wounds to the surface... 💔🩹
Index | Start | Prev | Next
Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖
#miraculous ladybug#mentor au#A Matter of Trust#felix sphinx#richard sphinx#josie's art#get emotionally connected with! get soul-searched idiot!!!#also sorry i'm barely replying to stuff at the moment; the holidays absolutely drained me and i'm still recovering :'V#all i have the energy for right now are my time-sensitive obligations like getting patreon stuff done and booting out new comic pages#gimme a little bit; i know my inbox is bursting ; w ;
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why the fuck am I the way I am
#i want to use all the insults i know on myself#im so tired#vent#venting#i'm sad#depressing shit#vent blog#mentally fucked#mentally tired#tw depressing thoughts#actually mentally ill#suixide#su!cidal#angry#self h@te#tw selfhate#i hate my self#anger issues#mentally drained#mental illness
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spirk using telepathy to keep each other alive. kirk, desperate, psy-null and untrained, reaching clumsily into spock's dying mind and pulling, dragging spock's essence into himself, wrenching him forceably from the very jaws of death and holding him there through sheer strength of will, saying you can't die, i won't let you, you can't leave me, i need you, and binding him to life and to himself until it's impossible to fully separate them. spock, more skilled, carefully managing each one of kirk's vital signs - keeping his heart beating steady, his lungs drawing breath, his temperature within a safe range, all while suppressing kirk's pain, and at the same trying, vainly, to keep their minds from tying themselves inexorably together, but they're pressed too close and he can't, and he hopes that kirk will forgive him, for bonding them like this (he will, of course he will), but the alternative, letting kirk die, was - unthinkable.
#no matter which direction it goes the one who formed the bond feels so guilty about it because That's Marriage & they never got permission#and the other just looks at them and says “i would have married you the day we met if you'd only asked”#it works both ways because they are both so stupidly down bad#i think there's a special sort of devastation with telepathy like this because If They Fail - they have to feel the life drain away#you tie yourself to them and you know that if it doesn't work. if they die. it will feel like your soul has been torn from you#because you're in love! and in order to save them you've taken them into yourself and given yourself over to them#so when they die - they take you too. maybe not ALL of you but certainly part. neither one can die without tearing the other to shreds now#star trek#star trek tos#tos#spirk#james t kirk#spock#jim kirk#k/s#tbh i've got a fic (SLOWLY) cooking which features spock desperately holding kirk to life while bones (panicked) operates on him#(w/ some mcspirk vibes because bones is afraid that if he loses kirk he'll lose spock too but spock refuses to let go)#but i'm such a slow writer so. in the meantime here's this
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This stupid dog
#sorry for not doing asks for a while#i think i'll be super busy until may#i have so many things to do and i am.tired. again. sorry. i'll try to post as much as i can but i think i'm just draining a skinny cow atp#sorry sorry sorry#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#sniperscout#speeding bullet
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Philza lore :D
I desperately want to make a full animation but I'm wary of losing motivation/not having enough time so I wanted to post some frames just in case I don't get farther
#qsmp#qsmp philza#qsmp chayanne#qsmp talullah#qsmp philza lore#I'm so happy with this style#I always want full animation but thats so draining so mostly still scenes with little movements seem to be a good halfway point#i have no clue if these kept the quality they had butwe shall see#also 5fps might be too quick for some of these but maybe its fine and Im overthinking idk#ratsday-art
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#destiny 2#beyond light#eris morn#exo stranger#the drifter#i swear i am working on actual art it's just a really draining piece and i needed to shitpost#also have no idea if someone already did this so i'm sorry if that's the case
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so i tried to draw the drain- talk abt process in cut
okay so. have to stress just how much of this is kin shit. one- thespius is there because my thesp friend actually remembers going to the drain once while still being a human. the person beside him is unnamed, they weren't intended to represent anyone specific, maybe just someone leading him through. but uh.. yeah.
lots of water. like- inescapable. lots of crumbling infrastructure, buildings built on top of one another, not a lot of natural light- if any at all, the further down the drain you go. electricity going out all the time. resources being scarce- clothing, food, just basic needs for survival. using a lot of the flora that grows in wet, cold environments like this- mushrooms, algaes, etc, and cooking with that. communities coming together and being pretty tight knit, making sure everyone has what they need. and that was something that hector was particularly skilled at doing- organizing people, getting resources to those who need them most, etc. helping rewire downed power cables. finding and rescuing a beloved item swept away in the current and further down the drain. being a community leader and beloved team member. and upon finally leaving the drain, it's these skills that the gods see and decide to grant him godhood for
#great god grove spoilers#great god grove#my art#ggg#the drain#the drain ggg#i'm not gonna comment on my rendering i had this thumbnailed originally and blew it's resolution up huge then fixed it#so it's weirdly artifact-y and blurry in some spots and different brushes and stuff used in others and. spek. i'm tired. sorry#maybe someday ill fix it up and make it an actual painting instead of whatever weird little study this wound up being#other#bizzyboys
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idk as the days go by the urge to hang myself is getting stronger
#mentally tired#actually sad#depressing life#depressing shit#i'm sad#kinda depressing#actually bipolar#actually bpd#actually borderline#bipolar thoughts#mentally drained#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#mental illness#mental health#i’m going insane#bpd favorite person#bpd vent#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bipolar things#bipolar mania#bipolardepression#bipolar disorder#i hate my existence#i hate it here#i hate this
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