#i'm disabled and i say you're exhausting

[suffersinfandom]

"Killing Izzy was a horrendous narrative mistake" and "S2 baited Stizzy and Steddyhands so hard to get people to watch because they knew it was shit" and "We weren't mad because Izzy died, we were mad because S2 was objectively shit (even though many of us were thrilled with it until the final episode aired)" and "David Jenkins' holiday special is horrifically ableist" are all things I have read in bsky's OFMD tab today. Is everyone quite well. Do you know you can just... let the show go.

Continuing to be mad about media you hate is just perplexing to me, but I think I'm just built different (worse). I give up on things so fast. I've quit more shows than I've finished. If media pisses me off, I drop it and run. There's so much stuff in the world to love; why would I stick around a fandom that I hate when I could enjoy things instead?

[vioqueenofmushrooms]

AWESOME SEX-ED

Ok it has just occurred to me that probably not everyone knows about my favorite sex-ed resource, Scarleteen! They have loads of great articles with information about sex, birth control, etc. They also have ways for you to ask questions that you want answered!

They have articles on everything from having sex as a disabled person, a fat person, and/or an intersex person to how to get FREE birth control as a minor(!!!) asexuality 101 and so much more!!

This is an awesome resource and my go-to when I want to know something about sex, I highly recommend it for anyone with questions/curiosities about sex, and while it's largely teen focused, there will be something here that's helpful for just about anyone!

When I started writing this post I was just going to include a couple articles... but I found so many I like so here are a bunch that may be helpful under the cut (Disclaimer: I have not read all of them because there are so many, nor am I in every group of people they're about, for example I'm not intersex or disabled, so I can't speak to the accuracy of all of them, but I've generally found Scarleteen to be pretty reliable.)

The articles I've included are mostly less typical stuff and things I think are super important but not talked about enough, if you're looking for more basic sex-ed just going to their website will get you started.

Tagging a couple accounts on here who do sex-ed stuff incase they want to reblog (No pressure though <3) @certifiedsexed @batmanisagatewaydrug

ALSO APPARENTLY SCARLETEEN IS ON TUMBLR??? @hellyeahscarleteen amazing.

Anatomy

Quickies: Sexual Anatomy | Scarleteen

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body | Scarleteen

Intersex stuff

(Inter)sex and Relationships | Scarleteen (A series of articles by an intersex person)

Supporting Your Intersex Child Through Puberty | Scarleteen

Trans stuff

Supports for Trans Youth and Their Families (and a few words for everybody else) | Scarleteen

It's a Trap: How to Spot Anti-Trans Resources | Scarleteen

Self-Care Amidst a Deluge of Anti-Trans Legislation | Scarleteen

Transmasculine Flow: Let's Talk Periods | Scarleteen

Welcome to Trans Summer School! | Scarleteen (At the top there's a drop down that says "This piece is part of Trans Summer School" which shows you all of the articles)

The Lowdown on Low-Dose Testosterone | Scarleteen

Finding Our Own Voices: Renée Yoxon and Gender-Affirming Vocal Therapy | Scarleteen

Some Books and Balms for Nonbinary Folks | Scarleteen

Fatness

Fat Bodies: Learning to Care for Your Rolls and Folds | Scarleteen

The Confidence of Fat Sexuality: An interview with sex educator Elle Chase | Scarleteen

Disability stuff

Disabled Sex: Sex for Two (or More) | Scarleteen

Wheelchair, Bound? Kink and Disability | Scarleteen

Consent Is Sexy: Sexual Autonomy and Disability | Scarleteen

We Need to Talk About Sex and ADHD | Scarleteen

Body Talk: Listening To and Learning From Your Chronic Pain | Scarleteen

A Disabled Persons Guide to Talking with Your Partner(s) About Sex | Scarleteen

Sex and Parent Caregivers | Scarleteen

Disabled Sex Yes! | Scarleteen

I really want to have sex, but I don't know how, and I'm queer, chronically ill and isolated. | Scarleteen

Birth control

Getting Birth Control May Be Easier Than You Think! | Scarleteen (Aka how to get FREE BIRTH CONTROL as a MINOR. Not just for the USA but also Australia, Canada, India, New Zealand, South Africa, and the UK)

How to Manage Pain with IUD Insertions | Scarleteen (Not even just about pain, super in-depth helpful guide)

Other

F*c&!ng First Aid: A Quick Guide to Common Sex Injuries | Scarleteen

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse | Scarleteen

Sex after rape. Where do I begin? | Scarleteen

Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out | Scarleteen

Your PMDD Primer: A Necessary Guide to an Under Researched Disorder | Scarleteen

Crisis Pregnancy Centers: Harm, Not Help | Scarleteen

Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer | Scarleteen

[orionremastered]

hi! I was wondering how the bats would be with a reader who is disabled or has prosthetics? they're all just very protective of people they care about since...everything, and how maybe that could start to feel sufacating at some point? Or something, idk dude

(also-the way you write is realy cute and sweet for all of them, makes them feel a lot less heavy when they have someone to hold them <33)

Masterlist

Batboys with a Disabled S/O

Dick Grayson [Fully Deaf]

A gentle touch on your shoulder prompts you to slowly turn around, a smile stretching across your face when you realise your boyfriend's back from work.

You pull him into your arms, threading your fingers through his hair. Pulling away reluctantly, you give him a kiss on the tip of his nose.

But he's not smiling; only a sad smile that makes you tilt your head in a silent question.

Don't worry about it, he signs. Have a good day?

You nod, though your frown remains when he moves to the kitchen, always adamant that he cooks whenever he's home. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, frowning at the caller ID and puts the phone on speaker as he begins cooking.

Dick gets more and more angry as the conversation goes on, his hands waving wildly around the small kitchen, only stopping to return to the cooking.

Finally, he hangs up. You tap him on the shoulder and he turns, watching as you sign;

Who was that?

Dick's shoulders raise and drop. A case I'm working on. I'll figure it out.

You nod slowly, satisfied with his response.

Jason Todd [Fully Blind]

Mornings with Jason always start like this. They always start with you gently running your fingers across his face, mapping it out and imagining it in your head. Over his nose, his lips, his stubble.

"Did you clean the apartment?" you ask, lying on top of him as your guide dog sits next to you on the mattress. "I almost knocked one of your guns off the counter yesterday."

"I did," he murmurs. You rest your fingers on his lips and feel that they're stretched into a smile. "I'm sorry for letting it get messy."

"That's okay," you reply quietly, "Ollie picked it up before it hit the floor."

Ollie, your guide dog, makes a huffing sound beside you, causing you both to chuckle.

"Good boy," Jason says proudly, feeling him shift underneath you, mostly likely to pat Ollie.

"You're both good. Too good, maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jason asks.

"Hmm."

Tim Drake [Classical Ehlers-Danlos syndrome]

"Love? Can we go for a camping trip on the weekend with my friends?"

Tim turns his head slowly as he sits in his study chair. He taps the pen he's holding against his lips. "What happens if you get exhausted?"

"We can go back to the tent and rest."

"You can get bruises. A lot of bruises," he frowns, gesturing for you to walk to him. You comply.

"That's fine, they're just bruises," you respond, sitting on his lap. He begins gently drawing shapes on the bare skin of your thighs.

"You could dislocate something," he says to you, quieter now.

"You know how to put it back. You do it for me all the time."

Tim's brow furrows at the reminder of having to put back in dislocated joints more often than he'd like. "Fine. But if you even start to get a little tired, you tell me. Okay?"

You rest your forehead against his and murmur, "Okay."

Damian Wayne [Prosthetic Arm]

"I'll take those—"

"Damian, I love you, but I can put shopping bags into the car just fine." This and many similar conversations have been going on practically since the start of your relationship. And while you do find it endearing that he cares, sometimes you just want him to treat you like you didn't lose your right arm in an accident.

The man scowls. "But—"

"I'm not going to hurt myself, really."

He watches you warily, weighing the outcomes of the situation. "Fine. Only the lighter ones."

You suppose it's better than not being able to do any of them. Still, he watches you like a hawk as you put the lighter ones in the back of the car he bought you (you protested but that man has the most selective hearing).

He closes the trunk/boot after the bags are inside.

"Can I drive?" you ask, hoping you'll get luck there too.

"No."

"I know how."

"No."

[trashland-llamas]

Unpaid Intern

Ao3 link | x gn! reader

Reader who's in chronic pain all the time consistently pushing themselves beyond their pain threshold, actively making it worse because of how much they compare themselves to Viktor. Seeing how despite his disability, he's still able to get his work in the lab done. Day in and day out like clockwork. Still buzzing with new innovative ideas that expand upon the existing hexcore.

But Viktor's been dealing with his disability since he was a kid while Reader obtained theirs during the tail end of their teenage years. Thus still learning to accept it and not try to appear able bodied. Some days would be worse than others. And on those days, they should take it easy. Entirely unaware as to how Viktor was fighting against his own body as it began to fail him.

And at a certain point Jayce finds out, instilled with the inkling that Reader was hiding something. His inkling confirmed correct when he wakes up in the middle of the night and Reader's not in their usual spot. Kissing Viktor's forehead as he goes out to search for them, knowing they couldn't have gone far.

After spending hours tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position, Reader had moved to the living room couch. The television turned on with the volume muted as to not wake them up. Agonizingly propped up against the arm of the couch, curled around a warm drink. Their mistake was forgetting how light a sleeper Jayce was. All he does is wrap his arms around their waist, pulling them onto his lap.

'What's wrong?' those two words from Jayce, paired with the bone-aching exhaustion miraculously coaxes Reader to spill their guts to him. 'My back, it's really bad. Not a sharp, shooting pain. More of a dull ache, like someone dropped a hammer on my back,' they began.

Further revealing that they had been hiding the severity of their scoliosis with baggy clothes and a brace. Which explains to Jayce the random mobility aids popping up around their shared space. Reader's back brace having gotten accidentally mixed in with Viktor's stuff during one wash cycle. 'Can I touch your back?' Jayce asks. Getting the okay from Reader, he begins to rub tight circles into the tense muscle.

'You shouldn't compare yourself to Viktor, and you should definitely not copy his work ethic. Could've told you that you'd run yourself into the ground if I had known,' Jayce croons. Smiling at the relieved groan they let out.

Jayce had seen multiple times how Viktor would pull all nighters. Only staying awake via outlets of caffeine. Believing that Viktor used work to distract himself from the pain. A concept that obviously didn't work for Reader. 'I know that I'm not Viktor. But when it comes down to it, I feel like I'm just complaining. Or that I'm being a fussy child who shouldn't be fussing.'

'You're not. Deserve to rest, especially when your body needs it. That's the only way your body can heal.' When Reader finally manages to fall asleep, slumped on his chest, Jayce carries him back to bed.

Viktor's rubbing the sleep from his eyes as Reader is placed back into his assigned spot. 'What happened?' Viktor questions as he turns to face Reader. Seeing how worn out they looked, even while asleep. Jayce catches him up, saying how they'd have another conversation in the morning.

[crippledpunks]

if you try to police disabled peoples' diets INCLUDING how they spend their money on food: i just want to ask why? what do you gain from this? like seriously, what do you actually gain from displaying holier-than-thou behavior toward another person's spending and dietary habits? who cares if you would spend your money "better"? you're not them. this is a form of abuse. you literally have no idea what the disabled person can safely digest and actually gains nutrients and energy from. you have no clue, even if you share the same disorder, you are not that person, nor are you their gastroenterologist or other specialist.

telling disabled people to "eat healthier," "eat more salads," "eat more fresh fruits," "eat more fresh vegetables," "eat more grains," and so on can not only be outwardly dangerous for people who have digestive issues like inflammatory bowel diseases, gastroparesis, irritable bowel disease, acid reflux, a history of ulcers, gastritis, and a long list of other digestive health issues, it can outright kill someone if they form a blockage. this can also injure, sicken or kill diabetics, people with non-diabetic low or high blood sugar, blood pressure issues, kidney and liver issues, and many other people.

not only that but you're potentially forcing a neurodivergent person to eat foods that nauseate, sicken, or disgust them, and for what? autistic people know what foods are safe for them to eat. adhd people need to find finds they can manage to keep in their homes without spoiling. dissociative people, people with ADHD, head trauma, develeopmental disorders, other people with memory issues, dementia, alzheimers, psychotic people, and other mental and cognitive health issues need foods they can prepare safely, because many mentally ill and neurodivergent people can't safe;y cook without risk of injury or damage to their home.

people who deal with allergies and intolerances are constantly struggling with being told how to eat when they are the ones who know their experience the most. NOBODY gives a fuck about people with allergies and literally nobody takes food intolerances seriously. i can't digest animal products OR byproducts anymore. i lost the ability. but sometimes i question "maybe i can try it again because this food is cheaper." well. i decided i was spending too much on groceries due to inflation and bought cow's milk instead of almond milk and got so sick it was something i had never seen before. i do NOT need to prioritize "saving money" over eating foods i can safely digest. i had an IBS attack early this morning because i ate some cheese- because it is a "cheap, easy source of protein."

some disabled people need to use certain services like pre-prepared foods being delivered to their homes, be it meals on wheels, or hello fresh. guilting these people for using the services because they could "just cook at home" is insulting to say the least. many of these services have tailored meals with consistent ingredients with limitations on contaminants with allergens.

here's the big one that everyone fucking hates but needs to accept immediately: some disabled people are too exhausted, in pain, dissociated, psychotic, unable to focus, unable to follow instructions, or in other ways unable to cook for themselves and need to use food delivery services like doordash and uber eats.

some disabled people can't or don't want to drive due to their disabilities! blind disabled people exist! para- and quadriplegics exist! people with hand tremors exist! working disabled people exist! amputees exist! disabled parents exist! disabled people who care for partners and family exist!

this one is sooooooo taboo and i'm sick of it. first of all, dashers and uber drivers are every day people who need to earn income. these are people's jobs and their lives are in fact on the line because this is a lot of drivers' primary income. enough with guilting people on this one. i'm fucking sick of it. y'all hate independently employed people and it shows. this isn't a luxury just relegated to rich white moms: disabled people need to have prepared, easy to eat foods delivered to our homes too. y'all need to leave people the fuck alone when it comes to takeout.

the second someone poorer and more disabled than you does something you do regularly, suddenly you're sending articles and giving paragraphs and paragraphs of advice on how to spend money better and how the disabled person "just needs to eat rice, beans, ramen, and frozen vegetables" because disabled people are not allowed comfort NOR convenience in your eyes. this is absolutely asinine. stop it. EATING is not relegated to the privileged

disabled people are people and need to eat. why you are prioritizing money over a literal human need is beyond me this is sick behavior. why do you care so much more about the money than the person ?why is money more important than someone's safety to you? why would anyone rather see someone "spend money the right way" over a human being EATING FOOD and especially foods they KNOW won't make them sick. policing how any disabled person spends their money on food is also unnecessary and abusive. it serves nothing to gain and everything to lose. so what if you think a disabled person spends too much money on food? you do too- we all do: food should be fucking free. get over yourself and let disabled people eat. leave your greed at the door, stop feeling entitled over other peoples' finances and spending habits.

telling a disabled person how to "eat healthier" will not make you healthier, and it will not do them any good, either. all it does is serve to stroke your ego because you believed you ""helped"" someone but all you did was give unsolicited advice that will be forever moot because you do not live in that person's body. don't care if you know them personally: you ain't them. so back off, let disabled people eat. food ain't just for the rich. food ain't just for the abled. let people access food in ways that are safe for us or get the fuck out of our way because all you're doing is causing problems and making disabled people's health problems WORSE.

[aikya-kat-44]

Varian headcannons

He/they baddie

Has lots of burn scars from experiments

Has scars on his wrists from handcuffs. For this reason he never takes off his gloves unless he's alone or with someone he trusts.

Trust issues. This kid was ignored by pretty much everyone when he needed them most, it's gotta have an effect on his ability to have healthy relationships (they say, almost like they're not speaking from experience)

Angry and Catalina were the first friends he had that were vaguely around his age. The vat7k gang (- yong) were the first friends he had actually within a year of his age (I hc angry as 12 and catalina as 14 in season 3. the vat7k gangs ages are again my personal hcs: Nuru as 17, Hugo as 19 and Yong as 15).

Used to love the snow and rain and winter because it meant hot cocoa and time with his dad. The blizzard ruined a lot of things for him, including the snow.

Sensory issues galore (no I'm not projecting wdym)

Sh scars BC boy hates himself for everything he's done and blames himself for everything that went wrong

Whipping scars from prison. Again based off a HC of mine where they put him in maximum security and treated him like a regular major prisoner (including fun perks like interrogation, torture, starvation and whipping) until his old cellmate attacked him pretty badly so they threw him into the cell with Andrew. (Which was no better. Seriously which fricking ass had the oh so intelligent brainwave to put him in with Andrew. That's why I created this HC to at least try to give it a rational explanation)

Frostbite scars. You're telling me that a kid in a winter coat travelling the carriage worthy distance from old Corona to the castle through a blizzard literally described as a divine death trap TWICE made it out unscathed? No way!

Looks perpetually like a 12 yer old, much to his annoyance and to the amusement of Eugene.

Autism and ADHD. Look at him. Just look. Especially at the beginning of that episode where he gets kidnapped.

Also: PTSD, anxiety, depression, and BPD. Yes I'm projecting but also. Varians anxiety is pretty much canon ATP. You can see it in most of his episodes pre and post villain arc. PTSD because even in be very afraid, which happens around 2 years after his dad was trapped in amber, he is still very affected by it. Depression and low self esteem, he's miserable about everything that's happened and that's kind of ruined his life and he hates himself for it. Little canon evidence but feels right. BPD- much of Varians character, especially early on, is built around seeking affirmation. When he is repeatedly denied it, his emotions overcome him and he can't hold it anymore and breaks down. Also I see him as very emotional and logical at the same time so he has mood swings out of his control and is horrified at himself because he knows they aren't rational but he can't control them. Totally not projecting. Again not much canon evidence but great for angst and projecting purposes.

Since I'm projecting here I might as well project my artstyle on him. Sketchy, done with a pen or pencil and one random colour on the back of pretty much anything. Actually pays attention to lighting and tone on the rare occasion it is required. Very good at making random scribbles look like a perfect replica of something he's seen before. Good for scientific drawing and sketches. Terrible for fully finished works. Unlike me he is very good at art and makes my weird artstyle look good.

POTS. No real reason, just I can make characters physically disabled in headcannons and I want to use that power. Also varigo fluff potential.

Reads too much

Chronic loneliness from having no one to talk to (I'm projecting too fcking much and I know it)

Insomniac and won't admit it. Has passed out plentiful times in his lab and the most random places ever from pure exhaustion. This got worse during the villain arc because Quirin wasn't there to drag his sleepy ass to bed. Hugo worries.a (no it isn't an ungodly hour in the morning when I'm typing this wdym).

Reconnects with Cass post canon.

Has nightmares about his dad, sots, prison or Andrew regularly and needs either his dad, Eugene and later Hugo to stay with him after.

Has a serious sense of ✨style✨

Biromantic and asexual. He does not escape my giant aspec ray.

Begged his dad for weeks to let him keep ruddiger, who wandered into his lab one day and soon enough became his "assistant". Quirin was rather displeased (DW he came around eventually guys).

We all know that Varian loves animals, but did you know that animals love Varian?

Very picky eater who has a bunch of allergies and often forgets to eat (y am I projecting sm here chat).

Very good at lying and manipulating and scheming, as seen in his villain arc, but his emotions and guilt and empathy get in the way most of the time. As he should tell Hugo in my hcs, "just because I can doesn't mean I enjoy doing it". (HC: Hugo knows Varian has some sort of criminal past but he doesn't know that he was his gay awakening, the alchemist).

Makes annoying household inventions.

sassy and overdramatic

Issues with authority

Shares some rather radical opinions with Hugo and Cass

Frustrated at Cass walking away scott free whilst he was stuck in prison for a year

Bottles up anger until it explodes at the worst possible moment

is NOT innocent.

Intense fear of disappointing people, especially those who wouldn't have a negative reaction, since "that just makes it worse".

Idealist that kept getting more and more frustrated and disillusioned over time.

There are more but this post is long enough as it is. Almost all of these are me projecting on Varian.

What are some of your Varian headcannons? I'd love to know. :)

[covid-safer-hotties]

"You Have to Live Your Life:" Responses to Common COVID Minimizing Phrases - Published Aug 6, 2024

If you're still COVIDing, you've likely heard phrases, like "it's mild now," or "you have to live your life," repeated over and over. You might be wondering, "what do I even say here? How do I respond to this?" I've listed some of the most common minimizing phrases and some potential responses to them. Feel free to adapt these and make them your own. I've included a variety of responses with different tones, depending on how much you want to be #saltingthevibes.

I want to recognize you might not always have the time or emotional energy to get into these discussions. Some people unfortunately aren't engaging in good faith, so it's important to be able to discern for yourself when you want to have these conversations. You don't always have to educate people, it can be exhausting! For those times when you want to respond but are at a loss for words in the moment, here are some ideas to get you started.

Starting off with one of my (least) favorites:

"You have to live your life!"

"I am living my life. Wearing a mask doesn't stop me from living my life, it makes it possible for me to do the things I love more safely."

"I'd love to be able to get out and do more things, but unfortunately that's not safe for me because so few people are masking."

"I would be a lot harder to live my life if COVID disabled me."

"Living my life means protecting my health, in the short and long term."

"I've adapted how I live my life based on the research about all of the long term health effects of a COVID infection."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for?"

"I'll probably always wear a mask in public spaces, when you know better you do better!"

"There's no expiration date on keeping myself safe and protecting my health."

"When we've widely implemented clean air standards and there's a sterilizing vaccine for COVID, then I might update my current precautions."

"I really wish I didn't have to do this either! But given what I know about COVID and Long COVID, this is the best choice for me."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for? It seems like you're sick all the time now, it sounds really unpleasant."

"We have to live with COVID."

"I'm glad you agree the government has done a terrible job trying to mitigate the spread!"

"To me, living with COVID means doing what we can to protect ourselves, not just giving up entirely."

"We also have to live with car accidents, that's why I wear my seatbelt to protect myself."

"What if we didn't have to? What if we collectively did more to clean the air and create safer living conditions for all of us?"

"Unfortunately you're right, that's why I'll continue to mask to keep myself and my community safer."

"It's mild now/it's just a cold/flu."

"Many illnesses seem like 'just a cold/flu' when you're first infected, but can still have long term health consequences, like mono or HIV."

"You can develop Long COVID even if your initial symptoms are mild or asymptomatic."

"I'm not as worried about the initial symptoms of the acute infection, I'm more concerned about the significant risk of Long COVID."

"You're lucky your symptoms weren't very severe initially. For me, COVID was a lot worse than a cold."

"I don't want to get sick with a cold either."

"I got it X times and I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry to hear you've had so many infections. COVID can cause silent damage throughout our bodies, it might be a good idea to go in for a check up with your doctor."

"I'm glad you're feeling fine so far, but my experience has been different."

"Your risk of Long COVID increases with each infection, so I'm doing what I can to avoid getting it."

"I hear that in your experience, a COVID infection hasn't been a big deal. Unfortunately not everyone is so lucky and many are dealing with significant Long COVID symptoms."

"You're young and healthy, you'll be fine/ only the vulnerable need to worry."

"I used to think the same thing! It turns out I have some underlying risk factors that mean an infection could be very harmful to me."

"Everyone is at risk of Long COVID, and your risk increases with each infection."

"You cannot know someone's health status by looking at them. A lot of young people are high risk as well."

"I don't appreciate you making assumptions about my health status."

"Did you know more than 75% of Americans have at least one risk factor? More than 40% have two or more, and almost 20% have three or more! Being high risk is more common than you think."

"There are actually a lot of factors that can make someone high risk, like a history of smoking, depression, asthma, ADHD, and more!"

"Kids don't get COVID/it's mild for kids."

"Unfortunately many studies show that rates of Long COVID in kids is similar to the rates in adults."

"COVID is the 8th leading cause of death in children in the US."

"Kids can be high risk for COVID, like if they have asthma, ADHD, autism, diabetes, or other common health issues."

"Kids don't deserve to be repeatedly infected with an illness that we know causes long term damage."

"I'd encourage you to read some of the stories about kids with Long COVID, it's heartbreaking for them and their families."

"Long COVID is rare."

"I'm curious where you learned that, because that doesn't fit into my understanding of Long COVID."

"Studies show rates around 20% of adults infected will go on to develop Long COVID, and many studies show higher rates. Your risk increases with each infection."

"Even if you're right, I'm not willing to risk it."

"Have you noticed an increase in weird symptoms or health issues in your circle? Fatigue, headaches, GI issues, stroke, heart attack, blood clots and a ton of other issues can all be caused by a COVID infection."

"It's more common than you might think, there are over 200+ possible symptoms and it can look different in everyone."

"My doctor doesn't wear a mask."

"Yikes! How unfortunate your doctor isn't up to date on the science and isn't doing more to protect their patients."

"It's too bad how many doctors don't stay up to date with important health information."

"Doctors also used to smoke cigarettes in healthcare facilities and recommend them to patients. Just goes to show you doctors aren't always right."

"The medical field scorned the doctor who recommended they start washing their hands... I'm seeing a lot of parallels here."

"Unfortunately it can take many years for practices like these to become more mainstream."

[coldwind-shiningstars]

my recent surgery will hopefully help my bladder/bowel stuff so lately I have been thinking about continence a lot, and the ways it is so important to me that we talk about it frankly and openly and the reasons why it is so difficult for people (including me) to do so. and I think there are a few different sides to the shame that comes with talking about it that are differently important?

there's the TMI aspect ("nobody needs to hear that!") where even if you're presenting information in a very educational, straightforward way people think of it as much too personal. and I think if your personal sense of privacy works such that you don't feel comfortable talking about these things you should listen to that and not talk about it, but if someone is offering information, even if you personally decide you don't want to hear it don't make disparaging comments about their choice to share it? I also think sometimes people overcorrect -- over the years I've had many conversations about continence when talking about disability and also disabled fictional characters and a number of years ago a friend told me that they were interested in exploring it but were afraid it was voyeuristic, and while I think it can be and there's a lot to criticize about the culture of "tell your entire medical details to the internet" it's not inherently more voyeuristic than other aspects of disability.

there's a disgust reaction which I also think is valid and reasonable to have, a lot of people have cleanliness related triggers etc, but again that's not the fault of the person actually talking about continence? everyone uses the bathroom. you can be polite and make your own choices about what you want to see and learn about but people should not stop talking about these things just in fear that someone else will find it disgusting

and, on the other end, there's the kink aspect which is the exact opposite problem. I want to be clear that I think kinks are morally neutral, if you have a piss/scat kink that's fine, you do you. but I also find myself worrying, when I talk about it, that people will think I'm speaking from a place of Being Horny For It instead of a place of "this is an important aspect of disability for many people." this aspect is worse when I'm speaking fictionally/fandomwise, and of course that's much less important than when I'm talking about Real Life Stuff, but I don't like feeling like I need to preface things with "I Have Incontinence Myself" because I don't think you need an experience yourself to write it compassionately or well and I don't like Telling My Business To Everyone On The Internet. there's a dialectics! moment where I genuinely believe there's nothing wrong with kinks but it's exhausting that that's the primary people talking about something like this, and also again I want what I say to be engaged with seriously.

anyway it's really tiring to me how even in a lot of disability spaces it feels like incontinence is still either shameful, a kink, or a joke. I'm tired of diaper jokes about people you don't like, I'm tired of one-off gags, I'm tired of "ewww" or "TMI!" as reactions. many MANY people have incontinence issues, and the shame around them really does prevent a lot of people from getting help for them! I want it to be something we can talk about

[wingsofachampion]

OOC

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not mad at anyone. I love the Pokemon IRL community, and I'm so so happy to be a part of it. And I don't plan on leaving for good anytime soon.

But. Look.

This is getting out of hand.

I've been here since November of 2022, and I haven't seen things being this bad in the community since The Incident.

I'm trying as hard as I can to hold things together, even when it seems like everything's falling apart. But it's getting really exhausting.

So that's why I'm making this post.

There's a lot of problems happening in this community, and I'm going to try to address at least a few of them in this post.

So, here we go.

Part 1: Anon Hate & Other Harassment

There's unfortunately a lot of this in the community. I've been a victim of it myself.

Anon hate is a serious problem that has led several pokebloggers to completely disable anon asks or even leave the community entirely.

I'm not sure how to combat this, unfortunately, other than blocking them as they come, but that's an imperfect solution.

There's also been direct harassment, too, not just through anon asks. I'm unsure how to tackle that either, but I'm spreading awareness just in case.

Part 2: Lack of Engagement

There's a ton of blogs that get little to no engagement, and not for a lack of trying. Pixelated made a great post on this already, so I won't rehash it much.

My main advice is to send asks. That goes both ways. If you see someone struggling to get engagement, send them an ask, brighten their day!

And if you're struggling to get engagement, send asks to as many blogs as you feel comfortable. That way, you put your name out there.

I know it can be scary to send asks, but if it helps, you can send one to me! I won't bite!

Part 3: "Cliques"

There's a lot of subcommunities in the Pokemon IRL community. Eebydeebies, Fallers, Blueberry Academy, and so on. And that's great! What's not so great, though, is how some of these can be rather cliquey.

Sometimes, it's hard to join a subcommunity. Sometimes they push you away, are just difficult to fit in a new blog, or something else.

I've been trying to remedy this in the eebydeeby subcommunity by having Gen send asks to every new eeby blog I can find, but I'm not in every subcommunity, so I can't do this for all of them.

What I suggest to remedy this is, those in subcommunities, reach out! If you see someone trying to join, reach out and welcome them in! Send them asks! Tell other people in the subcommunity about them! Let them know that they're welcome there.

Part 4: Lack of Warnings During MMM

This one is something that mostly just affects me personally, but Muse Mixup Madness has been extremely stressful for me because people keep completely changing up their blogs with little to no warning.

One of my worst triggers is post-apocalypse, and I've been jumpscared by this several times during Muse Mixup Madness by blogs that were previously safe.

Please warn what your Muse Mixup Madness stuff will contain, and please use content warnings, too.

Part 5: New Blogs Dying

This is one of the ones I'm saddest about. Almost every day, there's at least one new person trying to join Pokemon IRL, but 75% of the time their blog dies within a week.

I recommend supporting newcomers as much as you can. If you see a newcomer, send them an ask! Interact with them! Boost them if you feel comfortable with it! Don't let them feel so discouraged that they leave so soon.

I recommend checking the reblogs on realpokemon's pinned post every so often. It's a fantastic way to find new blogs.

Part 6: Exhaustion & A Call for Help

I've been trying very very hard to fix things, but I'm only human (as much as I wish I was a Meganium). I can't do everything by myself.

So I'm asking for help.

I have two blogs primarily made for boosting. @pkmnirlblogboosting and @tacklrnews. Former is OOC, while the latter is IC.

Pkmnirlblogboosting is for boosting blogs that either have less than 75 followers, or are less than a month old. If anyone wants to help me run it and boost blogs, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to pkmnirlblogboosting.

Tacklrnews is for reporting on events that are happening in-character. Its primary purpose is to boost stuff happening on people's blogs that they want more people to see and interact with. If anyone wants to help me with this, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to tacklrnews.

A caveat with tacklrnews: It's fully in-character, so you'll need to create a character for it to be a part of Pelipper's little news agency. It also writes articles on Pokemon RPC and Pokeask blogs, so to people in those communities, this offer is open to you all, too.

I hope these will both be helpful in revitalizing the Pokemon IRL community.

Part 7: Moving Forward

So, how do we move forward?

I think we should be more supportive towards others in this community. Less OOC anon hate and harassment, more engagement and boosting. Tell your fellow blogrunners how much you appreciate their blogs! Let them know they have people who care about them.

I love this community so, so much. I don't want it to fall apart and die. I'm doing everything in my power to keep it standing, but I'm just one person. I need your help, too.

Together, we can make this community better.

That's about all I had to say.

If you've read this far, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to read through this.

I'd appreciate any reblogs to spread this around, but don't feel pressured to if you don't want to.

I hope you all have a wonderful Pride Month.

-Bench

[ceasarslegion]

In regards to that article about flaking I shared yesterday, I saw a bunch of people in the notes backing up the idea that it's ableist to expect people to show up to plans they made the commitment to go to

And like look, I get it, shit happens. People die and get sick and get hurt, unexpected emergencies happen, you can double book yourself by accident for like a wedding and a movie the same day, sometimes you really are too exhausted to go to something the day of when you were planning to go before. It happens.

If you are generally RELIABLE, then that's not a problem for me. I'll be like "aw, well we can do that another time then :))". Because if you are generally reliable, then once in a while is once in a while.

The issue that I have is when you are serially unreliable. When I have to plan with the more likely possibility in mind that you're going to flake, then this isn't going to work between us. And if it's because you would rather be doing x by yourself instead of y with me, then that tells me I'm not important enough for you to dedicate the time and effort to building a relationship with. Relationships are long-term commitments that require investments that include prioritizing that movie night you're kinda meh about over your own Netflix feed because you care about spending time with the other people going to the cinema, and YOU are the selfish one for choosing the latter over the former.

And if you really are too disabled to make it to 90% of plans you get invited to, i think you should say some words about that to the people making the plans instead of expecting them to read your mind about it. You need to have a very real and potentially uncomfortable conversation about the limits of your abilities with them so they can accommodate that and make plans accordingly, not just assume they're mad at you for canceling all the time because they hate you for being disabled. Do they KNOW you're disabled? Do they KNOW that it affects that aspect of your relationship in that way? Like look babes, I know being a minority affects every aspect of our lives, but sometimes it's not ableism, sometimes all they know is that x friend cancels 90% of plans at the last minute and they don't know why, so of course they're going to be mad about it.

[lastoneout]

As much as I'm trying my hardest to enjoy bluesky that place really is a goddamn nightmare if you have OCD. Never seen a group of people so willing to hold everyone to such an impossible performative standard. Just saw someone who is disabled say they like making themself hurt at protests because it's all they can do to push for change and like...bro. You going to a protest and aggravating your chronic pain does nothing to help anyone, and the idea that suffering is a good replacement for activism is batshit.

Also just saw someone essentially saying that all vtubers are nazis until proven otherwise(by them saying they aren't nazis like that proves anything at all) and I just have to ask, aren't you aware of how racist assuming anyone who enjoys an art style made by people of color is a nazi is?? And also aren't y'all fucking tired? These performances being demanded to prove you aren't a bad person are legit triggering for people with OCD as we already pick apart literally everything we do to ensure we aren't bad people, including causing ourselves physical harm, can we maybe chill out and not act like being this aware of your every breath is a moral necessity. Especially on a website designed for entertainment, people don't have to be on all the time. I don't let people talk politics in my servers and chat because it's exhausting to moderate and idk just talking about nazis all the time to prove I'm a good person is painful, I need spaces away from all that shit to maintain my sanity. I make it clear that I'm not a bigot by blocking bigots when they show up, being open about being queer, having "bigots will be blocked" in my rules, and occasionally mentioning that I support people of color and other marginalized people specifically by uplifting them on my platform, which honestly is better activism than constantly insisting you hate nazis while never actually talking about how you love the people they hate. You need to love marginalized people more than you hate their oppressors. I don't have to talk about nazis in spaces I've created to relax and have fun.

It's just so weird. That site is fun sometimes but I really can only handle it for like 20 minutes at a time before I'm having a goddamn panic attack because what if I forget to put alt text on an image and everyone executes me for it or I forget what we're supposed to be boycotting and get deemed a bigot for posting about something I bought at Target. Nightmare if you have OCD. This behavior is so hostile and unforgiving and harms people with mental illnesses. Stop demanding a 24/7 performance of good political opinions, you're fucking hurting the very people you claim to be protecting.

At this point I just block anyone being judgemental about people not following all the good person rules. It's not worth the anxiety and self-loathing it causes. Plus I'm not particularly interested in welcoming people into my communities who claim to be progressive but constantly make those spaces hostile for those of us with a misunderstood and widely hated mental illness.

[vulpixisananimal]

<Null> {Mal Du Pays} [Loop] (Siffrin)

. . . .

Ha. . .

HahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yoooooooou're fine!!! You're fine!!!!! Look!!! Everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's FINE!!!!

You're sitting back at the favor tree with the stupid rain raining on your STUPID STUPID FACE!!!! HAHAHAH OF COURSE IT'S NOT THAT EASY!!!

Oh nieve little Siffy~ naive little cute little STUPID LITTLE SIFFRIN!! You're so stupid so stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!!!!

You want to go home.

You're stupid. It would never be so simple. Stupid, stupid, stupid. . . You just, just, j-just wanted to, fight that stupid blinding sadness and what happens?!?

Mirabelle, she, she, s-she--

Someone's calling your name. You can't, can't, can't make out what, w-what they're saying. Your whole body hurts, everything hurts. You're crying, you're shaking, you can't, can't, can't, t-think or. . .

Mirabelle died.

Mirabelle died and its your fault. YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR STUPID STUPID FAULT!!!

You're being talked to.

Isabeau hates you Odile hates you Pétronille hates you Mirabelle hates you Ramos hates you Bonnie hates you everyone everyone everyone hates you you're stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID-

"SIFFRIN!!!"

You snap back to reality. You're hyperventilating and sitting there. Mirabelles hands are on your shoulder, she's worried, panicking, no, she's, she's crying.

"M-mira. . ."

"Siffrin!!! Oh change you're okay! Y-you weren't responding, a-and, I thought you were hurt, or-"

"M-mira. . ." You feel weak, but. ". . . hug, please. . ."

She blinks at you, then wraps you up in a soft hug. She's warm, she's alive, she's okay, she's, she's not dead. You're crying. You, move your arms, around her. You cry. You just, cry. . .

You're, okay. . . You're okay. . . . .

". . . Siffrin, what, what happened?"

You're mumbling. "I-I, it was, w-was. . ."

"You don't need to answer right away, okay?" She responds, holding you close, you're safe. "Oh! Uhm, who are you right now?"

"I. . ." Who are you?

". . . I don't, know."

"T-that's, that's okay." She pulls away from the hug, smilling, softly in that was she does. "Do you need a minute?"

"N-no I'm, fine-" You try sitting up and instantly are hit with a huge wave of dizzyness and nausea. You fall to the ground, Mirabelle and, and, what, was, their. . . Ramos. They're both next to you.

"C-careful! You look like death, j-just, lay down for a minute, okay?" You feel Mirabelles hand on your head. It's so cold.

"O-okay. . ."

"Craft exhaustion." Ramos finally speaks up. You close your eye.

"R-right, it, looks like it. Have you been looping?" Mirabelle asks.

You nod.

". . . Rest up, Sif, can't have you dying on us, okay?" Ramos' voice. You nod again, breathing steadying. You feel a vial at your lips, medicine, you drink it. That concoction for this kinda thing, right? Okay, okay. . .

. . . Your breathing. . . It's like waves. . . .

Black sand beach. . . A path to a tree. . . Looking out to the lightless sky. . . You're, shaking. . . You're alive. . .

You want to reach out to a star and eat it.

You breathe in. . . And out. . . . .

Who. Are. You.

. . . . . . . . . . .

"So, they probably already know, huh?"

"About Isa? P-probably, oh Sif. . . Just, how many times have you gone through this."

"It looks like a lot already. Stars, they're such a savior for being able to give us a second chance."

"Y-yeah. . . When, when we were going to fight the King, when Siffrin was stuck in those two days. We, we had to chase after Siffrin up the House."

"Chase him?"

"Y-yeah, they ran off because, uhm, it's not important. B-but! Going up the house, all the traps were disabled, sadness beat, everything."

"Woah. . . Did, did Siffrin do that, all by themself?"

"Yes it was! It was, well, impressive! A-and, terrifying-"

"'Belle!! 'Oz!!"

"Bonnie?!?"

"Why's everyone acting so WEIRD. Za's weird, 'Dile's weird-"

"It's mind craft again, kid. Did they grab you at all?"

"Nuh uh, I'm okay. I-Is, 'Frin okay?"

"Oh! They're exhausted, looping again. It's, well. . ."

[You take in a deep, deep breath, fill your lungs, before errupt into a coughing fit. You're okay, your body hurts, where, were you? Favor tree? It's raining. It's raining? Oh right, it's, raining. You feel a hand on your back.]

"A-are you alright?!?" [Mirabelle asks. You nod. You're just peachy~]

[You sit up, holding your head with a pounding headache. What the, stars, you're, what, where, uh. . . Okay. . .]

". . . Better?" [Ramos asks.]

"Oh stars no." [You chuckle.] "My head's been cracked open like an egg."

[They laugh, you smile. Well at least you can still do THAT. You look up at them.] ". . . Sorry, I'm, not entierly sure what's been happening, aha. . ."

"Uhm. . ." [Mira tilted her head.] "Do you know who you are now?"

"Oh! Loop, just your good ol' wonderful loop~" [You wink.] "What did those blinding idiot other me's do."

"Looped a lot, by the looks of things." [Ramos comments. You noticed they scooted away from you a few inches.] "Are you sure you're, uh, okay?"

"Ah just give me a few minutes and we'll be set to go!" [You rubbed your neck. Looking between Mira, Ramos, and. Bonnie, Bonnie was here. Was Bonnie always here? Stars. You close your eyes, and think.]

[. . . No, no they weren't. Have you really been out here that long? Usually by now you had been inside, right? Well when you went through the kitchen they were gone. And you had only ever seen them when the sadness appeared.]

[You shake your head, stars, wait, what on earth did you miss? Break ins? Sadness? Strangers? Stars. There's so much. Last loop, what happened. You fought a sadness, yes, beat it, everythng went fine, then. . .]

[. . . Something terrible happens. You can't remember what, just that absolute fear. Just that, you shouldn't, kill the sadness.]

[Concerning!]

[You shake your head again, back to attention. You smile at your companions.] "All good, now, I think."

"Don't push yourself, okay?"

"Yeah you CRAB!!!"

"You're our key player here, can't have you getting KOed."

[You nod, sheepishly.] "I'll do my best, can't say the same for the others~"

"Well that'll have to do!" [Mira huffs, and nods.] "If they keep being like that I'll have a stern talk with them. Now! What happened."

"Well. . ." [You start explaining what comes to mind. Suspects, who's affected, the sadness, it came to mind like. . . Like you were asking the questions to someone else, and you got an answer. Then you relayed that answer to Mira, Bonnie, and Ramos. What a strange memory to have. You don't remember, you more, remember remembering.]

"And, last loop, we were able to beat the sadness, but then. . ." [You squinted, trying to remember, but. . .] ". . . I don't remember, but something bad happened."

"Oooooookaaaaaaay." [Ramos rubbed their neck.] "Don't kill the very dangerous big scary sadness, got it."

"Uhm. . . What about those two who left?" [Bonnie asks, finally speaking up.]

"About. . Oh right! I never met them." [You try to think, could it have been them?]

"Uhm. . . I asked Jan about m' this morning." [Bonnie shrugged.] "Some traveling, uhm, researchers. Going to Worlworth, left early. Stayed a few extra days, so uh. . ."

[Hmm. . .] "How far could they have gotten?"

"In this rain? I dont know. . ." [Mira looked out to the woods.]

"Well, there's some chance they're still near. Mind craft has a bit of a range limit, I think that's what that star I had was for." [Ramos quiets down sheepishly at the end. Good, feel ashamed~]

"Well then I have a plan~" [You stand up, stumbling a little, then stretching your legs. You needed to get feeling back in them.] "Ramos, Bonnie, you two stay here. Those two random travelers, Vixul and Wren, they can help fight off the sadness, I think. Polaris too if you can undo the mind craft."

[You stretch your arms next.] "Me and Mirabelle, we're going to find that couple, hopefully they're right down the road~"

"Are you sure about that si- Loop?" [Asks Ramos.] "If they ARE the people who caused this, then, maybe I should-"

"We can't leave the inn undefended~" [You stick your tongue out. Plus, you didn't want Ramos around. And Bonnie should be out of harms way.] "Mirabelle and I can handle it."

"But-"

"We'll be alright, Ramos." [Mirabelle replies.] "We wont even need to fight if they are, and, if it is then we can beat them easily."

[Ramos looks between the two of you, unsure, then shrugs.] "I-if, if you're sure."

"Hey!" [Bonnie stands up.] "Just, don't get hurt okay?! Crabface."

"Not a scratch, Boniface, teehee~"

[The others stand up as well. You say a quick goodbye, Bonnie hands you some tonics, and that's it. You and Mirabelle went to the road leading to Worlworth, you had no idea how far you'd have to go, or if those two were even there, but. . .]

[. . A few minutes pass. Mirabelle speaks up.] ". . . . Loop, what's going on?"

"Hmm?" [You turn to look at her, smiling as you walk.] "Apart from the looping? Oh nothing~"

"Loop." [There was that stern voice again.] "I know you didn't promise to talk about your feelings, but you're still in my friends body, s-so."

"Nothing's wrong, Mirabelle." [Mask in place.]

[She stops in the road. She's looking at you, glaring at you. You feel a shudder run up your spine.]

". . . Mira-?"

"Loop. Please."

[. . . Your mask slips for a second.]

[You can't trust Ramos you're tired of looping you're paranoid about mind craft Isabeau yelled at you Isabeau kissed Mal you don't feel right in your body everything hurts all the time you still can't remember so much and they'll never know.]

[They all must never know.]

". . . . . . . . . . . ." [You look away.] "I'll. . . . Try to tell you, sometime."

". . . . Alright." [She sighed, then smiled.] "That'll have to do, but rememer, we're feelings buddies too, okay?"

[You nod, and smile.] "Okay, thank you, Mirabelle."

[She offers you a hug. You hesitate, then take it. She offered you a hug. You. You. Remember that. You hold the hug for a moment before stepping back.]

"Better?"

"A little~ Shall we?"

[The two of you headed off again at a steady pace. The rain didn't hinder you, if anything, it made you more determined to get this done- wait! You look down at the path, sure enough, there's a pair of footprints in the soft mud.]

[That makes you speed up. Maybe this was it? Maybe this was who you were looking for! Maybe you could get this all resolved and not tiptoe around everyone. Maybe you could finally relax.]

[Looking behind you, Mirabelle was keeping pace. Her expression. . . It was determined. She was a good friend. Is a good friend. She's, she's not your Mirabelle. But, she's family.]

[And she's strong.]

[One of the strongest people you know.]

[You don't know how long it took, but you soon came to a fork in the path. One to Wolworth, another leading to the Poterian border. There's a tree at the fork.]

[There's a couple sitting at the tree.]

[You feel a knot in your gut.]

[lxghtofthephoenixx]

as a disabled POC it is so exhausting to see antis claim TransID is racist and ableist. As someone who has actually experienced those forms of bigotry, and has SEEN actual examples of that shit, seeing antis go 'you want to have my disability? ABLEIST!' or some shit is laughable at best, headache inducing at worst. Even transIDs like literal 'transracism' or 'transnazi' are more often than not someone trying to fucking cope with the deck of cards they were given. And what do antis say to that? 'Oh, you have intrusive thoughts? You're probably lying to excuse your bigotry because I don't have intrusive thoughts like that uwu'. You can't win.

I can't wait for a disabled POC anti to come along and pull more shit out of their ass as to why they hate people who are coping and/or simply existing. Because trust me, it's going to happen; unfortunately there are people who have also experienced actual bigotry but choose to focus on transID people instead. It's really sad, but I don't sympathize that much; I'm a former anti myself, and all I did was get my head out of my ass and bother to listen to the community rather than allowing myself to rot in the echo chamber that is being an anti. It's not that hard, at least it wasn't for me, because if you actually listen to radqueers the things they say actually make sense.

[scribefindegil]

This is not a dig at anyone for not writing Universally Accessible Advice and I think it's usually pretty bad-faith to jump on someone's post to yell about how since this doesn't apply to Everyone they just shouldn't say it at all but. man it gets exhausting to see so many posts of genuinely good advice and go "Ah. I physically cannot do this and that is one reason I am having such a hard time." From a perspective of "ugh the disability makes everything so so hard" not a perspective of "this advice is bad" but. ugh.

"If you're feeling bad it is vitally important that you leave the house" I am WILDLY aware, however, I am usually too sick to leave the house

"The best way to weather overwhelming situations is to join in-person communities" See above

and worst, "It's your actions that maintain and strengthen your relationships, not your feelings; no matter how much love you feel for someone it doesn't matter unless you back it up with actions." I know I know I know and it's killing me but when I can barely move or speak on bad days what am I supposed to do? The number and type of actions I can take is so so so limited. sometimes trying to return one bid for connection takes up all my energy for the entire day. I desperately want to do things for my friends and family but I'm so sick that I just *can't* most of the time and it's the worst thing in the world!

[jesncin]

Hi! I'm sorry if this an inappropriate question to ask, but I was wondering if you had any advice on how to accurately portray characters of color? I'm White and my creative fiction includes a lot of diverse characters, and I don't want to just ignore how their races impact their stories but at the same time being a racial/ethnic minority isn't something I've personally experienced and I don't know how to walk the line between good representation and some White dude telling stories that aren't his place to tell. Do you have any advice on how to accurately present characters of color without appropriating?

Luckily I have time today so I'll give my 2 cents! For one: there is no such thing as "accurate" portrayals of POC. Our experiences aren't a monolith. Something personal I would write and pull from my lived experience might not be relatable to, say, another queer Indonesian. And characters I write that are outside of my identity (Black, disabled, etc.) are inevitably going to be less authentic compared to someone of those identities tackling those characters. That's just something to make peace with- we can only do the best we can with the perspective we have.

With that: the usual platitudes are "do your research" and "listen to POC", I dislike both of these sayings! I get what they mean, but I don't love the insinuation of "doing research and listening" as a means of personal creative benefit. So instead I encourage different mindsets:

Instead of "do your research" (where identities can be treated as subjects to be learned and not people) I prefer "expand your perspective". Art is so cool because it's self expression. Stories are awesome because it's a shortcut to a person's deepest feelings. They get you fascinated and invested in a life so unlike your own. I can't stand "I only read queer books" people because it's an admission that they refuse to engage with identities they can't relate or project onto. There are so many important stories out there outside of your bubble. Get into the habit of earnestly learning about perspectives outside of your own. And not with the mindset of "this'll make me a better writer if I consume the identity and can become them" but with the mindset of getting to learn about a new friend. I think people take "stay in your lane" too literally sometimes where they focus so much on writing about their own experiences that they miss out on empathizing with other people.

Instead of "listen to POC" (I hate this one. Because our opinions aren't a monolith, it essentializes all of us to being media critic savvy experts, and white people tend to cherry pick the POC opinions they like instead of looking at the wider conversation) I prefer "improve your media criticism skills, and supplement with different perspectives". Not only should you "expand your perspective" as my last point said, but you should also be critical of things you read and learn! Learning about how ableism, racism, classism, etc. operates in life helps inform your opinion of how an identity was portrayed in a story. Recognize that earnest, and well intended attempts at representation can still be flawed or performative (the amount of times I'm told "I'm sure they weren't intending to be racist" like I truly believe the writer is a mustache twirling racist villain is too much). It's important to be opinionated! Do the work to find different perspectives to inform your own.

Lastly, don't ask for labor from marginalized people haha. I know that's what you're doing now (and this always happens to me whenever I voice a critical opinion of race representation) but I happen to have time (I'm still waiting on my editors to get back to me, such is the life of publishing). Most people don't, and are exhausted with explaining themselves. I don't bother my other marginalized friends whenever I write perspectives outside of my own. I do as much of the work reading articles, history, criticism, art etc. first. Especially if it's going to be a published work, then find Authenticity Readers and pay them for their labor. Avoid asking general, easy to google answers y'know? A lot of people have done the work writing thought pieces in their own time about a variety of perspectives.

[out-there-tmblr]

Young zaundads wip (30)

***

Reporting to the office takes longer than Vander would like. They spend too long standing over maps of the mine, trying to guess the route they took to get out. It's nearly shift end by the time the supervisors are satisfied and let them go.

Vander just wants to go to bed, to close the door on that little room of theirs and ignore everything outside. But Silco stops when they get to the mess hall.

"You should let your friends know you survived," he says. He hides his scratched fingers in the pockets of his jacket.

"And what are you doing?"

"I should check on the foundlings. There might have been survivors."

Because most of the workers on level three were kids. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Honestly, I'd prefer you weren't there," Silco says with the kind of honesty that comes from complete exhaustion. "We might have to take someone to the river. That would break your heart."

Vander leans in for a hug, holds Silco close. Cheek to cheek, he says softly, "Pretty sure it would break yours too."

"I'm far better at hiding it," Silco replies and Vander can see his point. Vander's never been good at hiding what he feels; it shows on his face and in his voice. If the kids need someone controlled and certain, someone to do what's needed, Silco can hold a steady face.

"Come meet me in the mess hall afterwards?" Vander asks and Silco nods. Maybe the right thing to do would be to run after him, to insist on helping, but Vander’s relieved to avoid it. He's not in a rush to bury teenagers.

Instead, he heads to the mess hall and finds himself tackled by Felicia. It's instinct to catch her.

"Vander! You're okay!"

"A little bruised, but in one piece," Vander says, putting her down. "We got back this afternoon."

Felicia blinks up at him, eyes soft and concerned. "And Silco?"

"The two of us," Vander says and she sags in relief. "We had to dig most of the night, but we made it. Did anyone else…?"

Felicia shakes her head. "Nearly all of level three collapsed. A few miners made it back to the elevator as it came down, but everyone else was lost."

That's nearly two dozen people. Half of the foundling bunks will be empty tonight. Vander has a twinge of conscience, wondering if he should have gone with Silco, and then Benzo's voice is thundering across the courtyard.

"Vander! More lives than a cat, this one!" Benzo has one black eye and an ugly purple bruise across his cheek.

"What happened to your face?" Vander asks, even as Connol walks up with a fat lip and a matching black eye. "Did you two get in a fight?"

"With enforcers," Felicia answers sharply. "These two idiots didn't believe the company when they said level three was unsafe. They tried to sneak in and override the lock on the elevator, and found a bunch of enforcers instead."

"Felicia's just mad that we didn't tell her the plan," Connol says. It looks like it hurts to talk. "It's only because she was arguing with the supervisors, trying to convince them to let us try digging you out."

Vander grins at his friends, bruised and furious on his behalf. Who would have risked their lives to try to save him. "Sounds like the first round's on me. I'll buy the drinks and you can tell me about the daring rescue attempt."

Vander gets to hear the whole story. That it was a handful of miners that complained, not just Felicia, when they announced no rescue attempt. That the supervisors declared it unsafe and locked the elevator, so even if they had managed to dig out that direction, they still would have been trapped that night.

While the supervisors were being yelled at by angry miners, Benzo and Connol took their gear into the mine and pried open the elevator controls. They'd disabled the elevator lock and were working on the grating lock when five enforcers marched on the scene.

"As you can see," Benzo says, nodding at Connol's face, "we weren't stupid enough to fight back."

They all know what happens if you land a lucky punch on an enforcer. A quick transfer to Stillwater and if you're lucky, they'll let you back out in a few years' time.

In turn, Vander tells them about digging their way out and the hidden shrine they found down there. "I think it was Janna," Vander says, shrugging. "It was old. Had an inscription on the wall. Zaun."

Benzo takes a big swallow of his ale. "Could be. My granddad prayed to Janna, and he said his granddad did before him. Maybe people have been praying to her for centuries."

"I'd offer to show you guys but I don't know if we'd find our way back. I stopped paying attention to how many turns we took."

"Pity," Connol says, finishing his drink and standing up. "Does everyone want another?"

Felicia nods, and then curiously watches Connol walk away. She spots Vander noticing, and shrugs it off. "What an idiot. Fighting with enforcers."

Vander grins at her. "Is that what you really think of him?"

"Oh, look," she says, distracting him from his teasing. "It's your other half."

Silco stands in the doorway, scanning the crowd. Anyone else might see the proud tilt of his chin, the judgemental twist of his mouth and assume it's just Silco, mean and cranky as ever. Vander sees something brittle in his expression, like he's holding everything together by willpower alone. "I think that's my cue to leave."

Felicia stands up to let him walk past, and then follows Vander while Benzo protects their table.

"Felicia," Silco says smoothly, giving her a nod. "Good to see you."

Silco looks stunned when Felicia bounces forward and wraps her arms around him. Freezes in place.

"We're glad you're not dead," Felicia says, giving him one more squeeze and then stepping back. "Really."

"Me, too," Silco says wryly.

Felicia smiles, bright and charming. "I mean, can you imagine how Vander would mope around if you hadn't made it out? He'd be insufferable."

"I'll keep that in mind," Silco promises. "But if you'll excuse us, it's been a very long day."

Vander ignores the look Felicia shoots at him. Sometimes Silco – with his sharp mind and love of books – talks like a Piltie and it puts everyone on edge.

"See you tomorrow," Vander says and leads Silco away before Felicia says anything. When the noise of the mess hall is safely behind them, he asks, "Are you okay?"

Silco presses his lips together tightly and shakes his head. They walk back through the old mine, picking their way back carefully through the tunnels, and don't say a thing.

Even when the door is closed behind them and safely latched, Silco only says, "I'm so tired."

"Then let's go to bed," Vander says and leads him to sheets that smell of them, human warmth and animal sweat. He pulls Silco against him and holds him tight.

***