#i’m actually super normal about them!
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have u read the daevabad trilogy. will u read the daevabad trilogy. when will u read the daevabad trilogy.
#CLAWING AT THE WALLS THESE BOOKS ARE IN MY BONES THEIR VERY WORDS ETCHED ONTO MY SOUL#i’m actually super normal about them!#alizayd alizayd alizayd alizayd alizayd alizayd#the daevabad trilogy#shannon chakraborty#city of brass#kingdom of copper#empire of gold
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wait, that elias?
#huge shoutout to @sepezzz elias design this is very much inspired by it. go look at it#im so serious if i never draw another person manspreading in a fucking office chair it’ll be TOO SOON#anyways.#the juxtaposition truly is crazy hahaaha right people change in the weirdest of ways#i like thinking about how they both present themselves. elias understands he works at Important Academic Research Facility so he still#sooort of tries to look somewhat official. but well he also gets away with what he can#he has that vibe of Yeah i work here and im kind of important but i’m chill. i know how to chill#meanwhile that other freak is just like i am going to make this body look presentable or so help me god.#he’s the Head of the Institute he can no longer have whimsy okay. and listen it’s not because i think jonah is that boring and would#dislike piercings and funny socks or whatever. i think he’d like those. but see he needs to make this believable that elias truly has#changed okay. and also like i said he is the Head of the Institute he needs to look Super Normal And Unremarkable#anyways i think it’s funny how elias’ whole thing is that he tries to distance himself from his family image and tries really hard to Not#end up like a rich asshole. and then. well.#(looks around) So i think about this man a normal amount.#i could write like 20 thinkpieces on both of them but instead they’re gonna make me do college essays about like language and shit.#myart#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#oh my god it is actually un fucking believable how much i think about him every day#if this becomes a daily elias blog yall will just have to deal
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guys. I kinda wish adrien had been akumatized in season 5 in the short periods he wore an alliance (or ephemeral type shit where Gabriel fuckin breaks him solely to akumatize him) and had been given the essence of the miraculous of the dragon. THE MIRACULOUS OF THE DRAGON. THE MIRACULOUS OF PERFECTION. AKUMATIZED ADRIEN WITH THE MIRACULOUS OF PERFECTION. and it’s not from Maribug! if it had been the ACTUAL miraculous from the actual guardian, it ties back to her, it almost functions as a connection between them two. but when it’s only the essence it leads back to Gabriel! It’s another way his father is holding him under his thumb, pulling all the strings of his life and just having complete control over Adrien. so yeah i need dragon!akumadrien content and i need it now
#carpetbug talks#i don’t know man I just want the show to do something with adrien and the dragon miraculous#THERE IS A WHOLE THEME! AN ENTIRE ASPECT OF ADRIENS EXISTENCE IS THE IDEA OF PERFECTION#AS A SENTI#AS A SON#AS A MODEL#there’s even like. a perfection to chat blanc? the whole concept of white representing purity and gabriel’s whole fucking thing with it in 5#and him being one of the most powerful akumas??? he is the PERFECT akuma not because he actually succeeded but because he was such powerful#enemy! in terms of both actual physical fight but also emotional! he BROKE a part of marinette!#she has NIGHTMARES ABOUT HIM. IT FUCKS WITH HER AND CHATS RELATIONSHIP#THAT IS WHAT GABRIEL WANTS. THATS THE IDEA OF A PERFECT AKUMA#one that defeats his enemy? oh that would be awesome. one that eats away at his enemy and tears them apart emotionally? shit dude that’s#PERFECT#GRAEARAGAEAAFEAFAAF#anyways i’m super normal about akumadrien and akumanette#akumadrien#akumanette#sorry y’all these tags kinda turned into chat blanc brain rambles
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honestly I have nothing much to say about the canvas ( because I skimmed through it out of lack of interest even tho I was fixated on sbg for idk how long before you all saw DONT even lie ) but I lowkey love Ashlyn’s little dancer costume it’s very silly !!! Also kinda hoping their silly little homeless children costumes ( hopefully that’s not offensive ) come into play at one point . Like . . a school play . I’m screwing around with ideas here .
#I’d be like aiden with the face paint but everyone this time#WHY DO I THINK EVERY THING I SAY IS OFFENSIVE#hope it isn’t cause if then uh uhsms woopsys#Only real time you can call Aiden insane is when canvas him pops up#Jk#unless ?#I had an ice cream sandwich it was soooo yummy#I’m being super serious rn when I say that the ice cream sandwiches have gotten smaller please tell me you noticed it#I rummaged through my bed to find this stupid lizard ong my bed sucks for that thing I could squish it on accident#I’ve been obsessed slightly with bsd ( specifically Ranpo )#I hope he DIES !!!! ( not actually if he did I would kms#Like idk why I like him so much he’s just my cutie oatootie pookie bear meow fr fr#I’m cringe#EUFHHH I HATE GIM !!!!!#I hate character ai love cause they make me sad#HESR me out : Ranpoe but phantom fo the opera#IM COOKING SO HARD RN !!!!#TRUST#I LIVE RANPOE !!!!#NORMALLY I DONT CARE ABOUT SHIPS OFF THE BST SBD YK FRIENDSHIP BUT NUH UH THEM THEY GRRRRRR#Growls#im sorry I’m going a little coo coo please someone relate I’m going insane if I don’t draw this#Dies#school bus graveyard#sbg#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard webtoon#SBG
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It’s always crazy to see black celebs spew this same rhetoric because it’s such a privileged take… like, they’ve been famous for so long and have gotten their money up, moved out of the projects or whatever tf, that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be genuinely feel. It’s impossible for them to connect anymore. As far as the qrt, oh wow ☠️.
#it’s always the same shit with these negros bro#like even recently with lil Wayne and all of these idiots crying about the Super Bowl and how he didn’t get chosen to perform#and you got idiots like Nicki and others going on about ‘taking opportunities away from a young black man-‘ (the nigga is in his 40’s bro)#despite Kendrick being younger…. and as a black person why not just be happy for another instead of trying to use race and guilt trip peopl#into caring about you over another black person when it’s convenient for you#because i remember when this dude used to say that he doesn’t care about blm or politics and he’s getting money#and that it doesn’t affect him so why should he care? now you’re crying about opportunities being taken away from you as a black man#I’m getting off topic but it’s the same sentiments similar to what Pharrell’s coon ass is saying#he’s always been one actually#rambling#whenever someone goes on about being apolitical they’re already not worth listening to#especially since politics shapes our entire lives like do you not care about what will happen to you#and what’s happening to people across the seas and in other countries like what is the real reason why sm ppl chose to play apolitical#I don’t want anyone around me if I can’t talk about politics with them or know where they stand as far as politics go#at the end of the day who cares about what a celeb has to say on politics since#I always go back to that one section in Dave Chappell standup (I know this was before he became what he is today… he was so normal back#then holy shit🗿) where he was taking about how ppl are super private about their politics and also#him going on about how ‘who tf cares about what ja rule thinks’#😭…. that’s literally it!!!#but to an extent it’s relalr dangerous to see ppl with such gigantic platforms and notoriety spew shit like this as if it’s normal#it only helps tp further push anti intellectualism and so on#like how are you an adult and you don’t care about politics#that’s embarrassing
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me stop being annoying and weird challenge (level : impossible)
#i hate everything#and i very much dread the time this week will be over and i’ll have to go back to normal classes and such#because then people can see how much of a fraud i am with this chem dispensation thing that it was all just a waste and i’m actually#NOT smart at all even after all those hours off from class to study it. i want to throw up SCREAMS#also there’ll just be other things i miss#like ahshsjsksskw#i regret not pushing that submit button of a chem registration form when i first got into this school#imagine all the things i could’ve gotten if i had just not been too scared to do it#and then besides all that dreaded humiliation i’m also super scared of having to apply to uni next year like 😭#the tags feel soo off topic from the post but it’s not both of them are about piles and piles of regrets 😭#chem tag#nadirants
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love how my friends visit my in my state One Time and immediately go “oh u poor thing. we need to help u leave here Immediately.”
#blue chatter#on the one hand I get why they don’t like my state and why they’re saying this#and I love and appreciate them and their compassion#on the other hand#it is a little funny#(as in actually funny not like sarcastic funny)#guys I’ve lived here just fine for so many years#I’m okay I prommy#staying til I graduate will not suck the soul from my body I swear#they are also going ‘we should make plans so it’s easier for you to Move Here Instead’ and super honestly#I am not complaining about that At All#there is a small part of me that’s like :( don’t roast my state :( it’s part of my life :( I love her#it’s not all bad. we have the best ice cream flavor.#yes the city we visited is vampirically preying on its most vulnerable citizens and is full of ghosts#cities do that generally I’m pretty sure#friends: Not Like This They Don’t?????#me: hmm. idk. feels normal to me.
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played superstars through the credits with two of my brothers and just. holy shit this game was absolutely not designed for multiplayer. despite the gratuitous marketing focusing on the multiplayer aspect it was CONSISTENTLY lagging to an insane degree and it only got worse when we went from 2 players to 3. i had a great time despite it and i think the game had a lot of potential but by the time we got to the egg fortress fight, well:
kept popping between zoomed out (multiplayer view) and zoomed in (single player view), killing whichever of the characters the camera wasn’t locked on every time it happened
jarringly swapping which character the camera was centered on, snapping into their view and causing more deaths
the ground disappearing and occasionally causing people to clip into it and die every few seconds
the uh. the spinning. happened about half the time the robot swapped between phases
ALL of these problems happened about twice as often when all three players were active, so in order to beat it two of us had to intentionally die for the fight to even be playable
i have ten more videos just like this. we spent nearly an hour here. it happened so often i gave up documenting it. it wasn’t the first major issue (the entire game crashed after beating a level, twice. at one point when we left the shop we were accidentally teleported to the overworld area for egg fortress with no floor loaded and accidentally walked off, then fell eternally) but it’s the one that really broke our spirits. how do you ship this game that you marketed as multiplayer when it’s nigh unbeatable when you actually play multiplayer
#text✨#sonic superstars#sonic superstars spoilers#sorry i HAD to make a post bc all the stuff talking about the game’s issues isn’t addressing the multiplayer issues#(bc half them are just people who love to hate on sonic and aren’t actually the main audience of : kids . particularly kids with siblings in#this case)#i’m not mad or particularly opinionated about the game i’m just sad. dealing with frame rate drops is annoying but fine when you’re having#fun and joking around. when the issues are actually making the level unbeatable it’s just depressing#and we couldn’t even drop the other players out so it would run better#bc it’s at the end of the entire act 2 of egg fortress#in which you play act 1 backwards#anyway we DID beat it im just sad now. i guess we’ll wait a few weeks until a patch is released bc i’ve hard super sonic is laggy even in#single player. and i’ve seen how bad afterimage effects slowed the frame rate in a normal level w/ 3 players#i do NOT want to see how bad it gets when you’re all super
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So much happening in the world and in my personal life at once and I am completely unable to do anything about any of it. I am completely exhausted. I need to move out, but I can’t.
I’ve been stuck with a headache for a few months.
#text post#vent post#tw vent#cw vent#I’d say delete later but I don’t ever actually do that anyway#maybe I should go through vents and delete them Al#tbh I’m starting to realize that maybe never being allowed to do anything and never being taught how to do anything as a kid was neglect#it probably also wasn’t normal that I tried to be the ‘easy kid’ and avoid any perceived trouble as much as physically possible#I usually just sit in the furthest part of the house dissociate and try to immediately appear fine if anyone walks in and sees me#idk maybe I should just make that super self indulgent Simon’s Quest comic since it’ll probably be practically vent art anyway#he’s a little bit too relatable for comfort#and man I didn’t even fight Dracula to end up messed up how lame smh 😔#I feel like I would just end up feeling guilty that I’m not doing something else more important though#most of the things I can do right now I can’t without guilt that stops me somewhere through#and that includes trying to rest haha yippie :/#I can’t even draw the blorbo dead about it like it’s past that level of bad#I guess I shouldn’t even suggest doing anything I can’t do too#I don’t even wanna look at my instagram rn I can’t fix any of that either#idk if I should go into any details or not but I literally just can’t change anything#and I know I can’t get better unless I leave but I can’t leave and there’s nowhere to go#even places online are starting to become uninhabitable#we truly live in a time :/#I’m just typing anything I think of as I think of it#tldr I am a terrible person who can’t get better because I’m stuck in a terrible situation and everything sucks basically#i’m exhausted#i feel so trapped#it feels like I have no autonomy or effect on the world at all#ugh I’m not explaining anything correctly enough anyway#I guess supper is almost ready and I should stop ranting at nothing#I’m basically just here to try to make it to 29 at least for the silly Simon game reference haha that is so pathetic
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#every few weeks i get into this mood#where i think that everyone hates me or thinks I’m annoying#and i try not to get too in my head about it but its hard. so hard. and i don’t want to continuously ask if someone hates me sjaljdalak#and like who would actually say yeah actually you’re super annoying never talk to me again#so even if they tell me no they like me and they like talking to me. i wont believe them#anyways I’ll get over it in a bit and be normal for a bit then go through this cycle again#why am i like this#then i start thinking its true but I AM ANNOYING and i wouldnt like me either
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spider in room but everyone else is asleep so no one can help me :/ panic time i guess lol
#having scary things in my room is fun because i get to play the game of “which phobia am i MORE scared of: being around lifelong phobia of#mine OR the phobia of leaving my room and risking Being Perceived”#right now it’s the second one :/ which is pretty funny given that every else is fucking ASLEEP so there’s your proof that phobias can be#SUPER irrational lmao#but also my arachnophobia isn’t the worst like I’ll avoid places where spiders were near recently but i can still sometimes watch videos of#them sooo. yay for me lol? this isn’t true for other bugs (yes ik spiders aren’t bugs but my phobias don’t) which sucks for me because the#second most scary one is viewed as beautiful by most people and so many people love them. noooooo thank you. number one most scary aren’t#talked about but idk why they’re super common. and terrifying and OUT TO FUCKING GET ME. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS RUN *AT* ME#bugs love me. if i think about their existence too much i will have a panic attack. this is not a good relationship.#except for silk moths specifically. Ive never seen one irl and are still a little scared but i have a dnd character who loves them so same#ALSO BEES. I love bees. Not scared at all beyond like a normal reasonable “don’t fuck with them” kinda thing. bees are great i love bees#most of the stingy ones I’m ok with individually actually. i dislike the massive loud swarms of them but on their own they’re cute lol#(also to the bug and/or spider lovers i am not a kill bugs kinda person if this is worded weirdly that is because I’m having a fucking pani#attack please be nice)
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Today’s show was a little :/ but I learned a LOT
#I was like. visibly upset#(even tho my skit was the best one but also. that wasn’t saying much)#I got so in my HEAD cause I invited people. and then#Marie sat me down afterward and was like GIRL I do this for a living#and I promise u I have been in much much much worse shows before#and she was actually really sweet#she said I was super funny and had been that way since pretty early on#and that I picked up stuff really quick and was light years ahead of most people#and I’ve been worried about being too combative and she was like girl don’t change any thing about yourself#I keep. getting that advice from 40-50 year olds lol#which I appreciate#they all say that most people are not this Sure of themselves at this age (but also I’m NOT SURE OF MYSELF. I just happen to have very#strong opinions. and no issue expressing them) and apparently that’s not Normal#but is helpful#anyways#all of us hung out for like. five hours afterward and it was nice!#I like having this group of friends that’s Different from work friends#I need to join more Things#but seriously I love improv and improv adjacent people so much#they’re all so funny and absolutely FASCINATING#and they’re all trying to get me to give them tours of **** lmao#I am going to soon but it’s funny people I never met came up to me and went you work WHERE give me a tour NOW#anyways. I’m 23#Marie put her head in her hands after I mentioned that#she was like I was a HOT MESS at 23 ur doing so fine#and I am. I’m being Brave and altho I’m not great at being Normal maybe I don’t absolutely have to be
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#i dont know man#like i love buddie as much as the next but the likelihood of it ever actually going canon is super low#and at the end of the day i’ll always root for buddie but like we don’t need to hate every love interest just because they’re not buddie#i know it’s not that deep and it’s just people loving their ships but#at the end of the day all the queer undertones of buddie that we see as a fandom are also just normal and healthy forms of friendship#and if buddie is not going canon then we have a story about two male best friends who treat each other gently and love one another and that#in and of itself is a beautiful and worthwhile story#at this point i’m betting on buddie not going canon and id love to be surprised but i’m not holding out hope#so them finding canonical romantic love seems really wonderful#i’m just venting if you don’t like don’t interact with this post
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reading the vampire diaries books for no reason and someone please someone—Damon was a short king and I think we need to respect that
#youRE TELLING ME—HES A 500 YEAR OLD SHORT KING WITH AN ITALIAN ACCENT#listen. LISTEN. I feel perfectly normal.#and the wiki is telling me his full name is damiano. and listen—listen—I feel so so so normally about this and I’m not going crazy#this is not supposed to be a fully critique of the books but I like them…to an extent. I wish the prose was…more. I wish there was#more personality to the writing.#but the—the way Damon got invited into Bonnie’s house because Elena was doing a fun spell to figure out who she’d marry and it involved her#inviting her future husband in—listen—LISTEN—#I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS#and I feel even more normal when I remember that the series completely goes off the rails and so far I don’t think Damon and Elena are#married. yeah I feel so calm about this.#I feel super calm about Elena and Stephan thinking Damon is responsible for every terrible thing that happens in the first three books and#and even more calm that Damon just lets them believe it but then is actually hurt when he realizes Elena actually thinks so little of him—#wait actually I might like these books more than I relaized. might reread#Elena pulling an Elizabeth bennet meanwhile damon is PINING and doing everything in his power to keep Elena safe—#it’s giving pride and prejudice and vampires—#Elena deadass convinced damon is about to murder her but instead he sacrifices himself and nearly gets torn apart trying to save her life—#damon and Elena not even having to communicate for them to understand each other—#WOAH I ACTJALLY LIKE THIS SERIES NOW IT KINDA GOES HARD
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^^me realizing my friend may actually not be my friend or understand me as a person or care about me at all outside of a shallow perception of me based on my recent behavior despite the fact they have known me for 6 years
#this is a vent#sucks to realize that someone never really cared about you#or at least never bothered to show it#and I mean we’ve always been very “friends who are super different”#but I didn’t think about how that might play into them not actually being the type of friend I need?#this feels very middle school navigating friendships help book#but I seriously feel like shit for not realizing this#that they never stopped to actually look at me or how I act#in the way I try to see how they are at certain times#i could name so many things they do differently from how they normally are#when they’re tired their face twitches#every time they swipe something o their phone they make a full circle with their thumb before doing it again#they act like they’re not touchy unless they’re with friends#and yet I’m realizing that they probably don’t know any of these things /I/ do#that I know for a fact my other#better friends do#and Honestly I only stopped to think about this recently#because I was talking with one of our shared friends about another one of our friendsnot taking them seriously#so I offered to help them talk it through#only to be told by this person that I shouldn’t or can’t#because “you can’t mediate”#they didn’t have a reason why#they just said I couldn’t#and maybe this is just me being insecure and wanting to Prove I Am Capable#And Useful To The People In My Life#but it just stuck with me????#that they thought I was incapable of that#and I KNOW why they said that#it’s because of how I present myself#because I project a lot of confidence and carelessness (cough rise leo cough im not bringing him into this tho)
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screaming sobbing throwing up over tiertice as per usual
REAL!! today i was thinking about how they were coworkers at foxifre bc yk… tiergan was a mentor and prentice was the beacon… and tiertice as coworkers made me SOOO happy. and then i started thinkning about prentice’s mind break. and then i started cry8ng
#i’m actually drawing them rn and it’s making me SOOO HAPPY to draw them like normal and happy pre-everything but it’s also soo sad#listen i can’t articulate my thoughts about them but like. ough they mean soooo much to me#everyone thank the maine for releasing the dyed album and conveniently getting me super obsessed with tiertice right before their ship week#john o’callaghan is a real one and probably more into tiertice than i am if this album is any indication#asks
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