#and Honestly I only stopped to think about this recently
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Kidnapping Buddy
pairings: Shadow the Hedgehog x teen!reader (platonic)
warnings: kidnapping (it’s silly though)
summary: you find yourself kidnapped by Robotnik but Shadow finds you quite interesting
a/n: request my mutual sent me recently so I knew I had to come through 🙂↕️, here you go!
You didn’t think you’d be spending your day tied to a chair in Robotniks weird Crab helicopter, but here you were. Unfortunately you were considered a useful asset as bait against your parents and Sonic to keep them from trying to stop him from ‘ruling the world’.
It was dumb and extremely boring, especially with no one to talk to. Then he showed up, Shadow was assigned with the task to make sure you didn’t escape, you were a sneaky teen after all. Robotnik himself knew that because you had foiled his plans several times before with your (technically) brother Sonic.
You guys were like two devils when combined together, it was actually quite frightening for Robotnik, which contributed to the reason why you were kidnapped. Keeping you away from Sonic was his idea of lessening the verbal abuse he got from you two.
Shadow didn’t know that though, all he knew was that you were supposed to be their leverage in case of emergency and he was to treat you as such. Too bad he was underestimating you.
As Shadow walked into the room you were held, his gaze never left yours. He fixed himself to lean against the wall, arms crossed as he studied you. You looked harmless enough, he didn’t understand why Robotnik even wanted you here, the mission would’ve gone just fine without you.
Shadow closed his eyes for a second, thinking to himself before opening them up again only to see you had untied yourself. Your arms free as you rubbed your sore wrists.
“This flight sucks, where are the snack?” You asked Shadow, a smirk placed on your features as you teased him subtly.
Shadow stood there dumbfounded as to how you were able to untie yourself in less than five seconds. Thanks to Sonic and all the mishaps he’d had with Eggman your parents thought it was good to teach you a few essentials in case something like this happened.
“How?” Shadow asked you. Somewhat blocking the only exit.
You let out a sigh and sat back down on the floor, not really seeing a reason to leave, “This isn’t the first time..” you smiled as you looked around the room.
He stood there a bit longer before walking closer, seeing you didn’t seem to have much of an urge to leave, “Explain.”
And so you did, you went on an annoyingly long rant about how Robotnik liked to try and capture you or your family members to use against Sonic but it never worked.
As you talked Shadow found himself engrossed. He sat across from you, no longer worried if you escaped, he’d probably catch you anyway. While you told your stories he noticed you were very expressive, it reminded him about his short encounter with the other hedgehog he’d briefly met.
“That sounds obnoxious.” Shadow mumbled, his brows furrowed and armed crossed.
“It really is!!” You exclaimed, your arms thrown in the air as you huffed. You didn’t really know Shadow well and you knew he was the enemy but he was honestly fun to talk to, at least more than Robotnik and Stone were.
Before you’d realized it you had already spent a lot of time talking with Shadow, he may have been a bit intimidating but he was genuinely really cool. Even he seemed to enjoy himself around you, finding amusement in your stories. He honestly hoped you’d be able to escape or your brothers come and save you.
Time continued to pass as you spent time with Shadow, talking about mindless things. His responses quick but it was more in his nature to listen anyway. You were a fun ‘prisoner’, even if you would argue you willingly let yourself be kidnapped (you did not).
#sonic 3#sonic the hedgehog#sonic 3 movie#sonic 3 x reader#x reader#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog x reader#shadow#shadow x reader#ivo robotnik
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do you have any luke recommends meg? I'm with nonnie I think most of my fav luke stories were by deactivated accounts 😢😢
Of course!! Firstly, shamelessly plugging myself lmfao and I have a rec list here that should have updated links now! You may have already seen these before but here's a few recent ones too!
≡ᴍᴇɢ's ʟᴜᴋᴇ ʜᴜɢʜᴇs ғɪᴄ ʀᴇᴄs ɪɪ
—sᴍᴜᴛ
♥ 25 of diamonds by @puck-luck ➥ Andy delivered with this. And I ate the blurb up once, twice, thrice and many more. Can't recommend her stuff enough but this one, this one did things to me that I can't explain. It was a req BUT it was defo personal and I still read it.
♥ finger sucking blurb by @wineauntie ➥ Hot hot hot hot, Luke's fingers + Ivy's writing is incredible. I frequently go back to this whenever I need a quick read while cooking or need to get an extra fix of delusion.
♥ thigh riding blurb by @wineauntie ➥ Yes, I know, always dropping Ivy in here somewhere but THESE BLURBS ARE SO GOOD! This one, oh, this one is just spectacular and just yes, wet. You need to check them out if you haven't.
♥ honky tonk flame by @bewaryofpity ➥ COWBOY LUKE! That's hot enough. This fic is just so smooth and charming, you get to the end and hope they meet again! I needed more. Just Luke in jeans and a pool table? Salivating.
♥ "i'm all yours" blurb by @jo-speaks ➥ Oh I do love a bit of sub Luke and this is so hot with y/n's lil spell of jealousy. Gave me literal butterflies, kicked my feet and giggled. Honestly, all these blurbs are so yummy so go check them all.
♥ home for the holidays by @puck-luck ➥I read this, like, twice a week? It's jam-packed and the concept is literally a pussy killer. No sex over xmas? Seems easy but NOOOOOOOOO not with Luke. The stakes makes it sooo juicy. It's shocking to believe but I do enjoy dom!Luke too.
—ғʟᴜғғ
♥ more hearts than mine - her family's Christmas by @withwritersblock ➥ When I tell you adorable, I mean it. I felt the stress on a personal level with this one and my God, the things I would do to live this. I really loved the sibling dynamic in this, it was real and how siblings actually behave towards each other. Devoured this.
♥ you are in love by @withwritersblock ➥ STOP THIS ONE IS SO CUTE! My tummy went all fuzzy when reading and it's just-oh God they're so in love it aches and y/n's friends are so funny with their reactions.
♥ his name by @cupidbedsy ➥ Tooth rotting fluff. Loser Luke having a crush and is so awkward and it's the cutest thing ever. I think about this fic often, and you should too. The pacing is so perfect and I just think the emphasis of his name on her back reassuring her support is beautiful.
♥ "i'll give you a ride, don't worry." blurb by @hischierslovergirl ➥ Um hello? Perfect execution? Yeah, this one may have been requested by me but the writing makes me kick my feet and giggle. The only way to describe the ending is with a chef's kiss.
♥ next step is love by @bewaryofpity ➥ Dropped TODAY and did not disappoint. It's so domestic and I always eat up the team banter. If you adore best-friends-who-aren't-really-best-friends then you'll love this one. A lot. Tooth rotting and so so cute, I'm speechless.
—ᴀɴɢsᴛ
♥ let it happen by @bratbarzal ➥ Maggie made me violent with this series. It's so raw and natural, devoured it from beginning to end. If you don't like being happy, this is the series for you. On a real note, it's so well written and there is never a dull moment with the drama and almosts.
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for all that us snape fans say how we love his character because he is flawed and complex, i find it disappointing how many of us can't extend that line of thinking towards lily, while pretending that young severus was entirely innocent. i've noticed this a lot recently and it's been bothering me quite a bit so i've felt the need to defend lily, or to be exact, analyse the downfall of their relationship without basically giving her all the blame and instead looking at both characters and especially lily more critically.
so. let's talk about the conversation between her and severus after the werewolf prank. some snape fans harshly criticise her in this scene because she insists that james saved severus and doesn't acknowledge how serious this prank was, while insisting that at least the marauders don't use dark magic.
and i agree that she should have been more on severus' side in this case. after all he could have died or gotten seriously injured, turned into a werewolf etc and she downplays the severity of the situation and generally doesn't acknowledge how the marauders bullied severus very much. so yes, she could have been a better friend here.
but at the same time, from her perspective, she was already noticing that severus was spending more time with his housemates, all of them aspiring death eaters, how he had always looked up to lucius and was slowly heading down that same path. how he didn't truly disapprove of his housemates disgusting actions towards muggleborns - her own kind. even though it's not entirely logical, since we see through the marauders that light magic can be used to do harm aswell, this also explains her dislike of dark arts, which these (aspiring) death eaters all were fond of and using to do awful things to her friends (and hogwarts also pretty much teaches that dark magic is pure evil). by this point she had most likely also experienced discrimination at hogwarts for being muggleborn. she knew the situation in the wizarding world wasn't favourable for her, and now her best friend was starting to agree with those people?
the next notable event was of course snapes worst memory (sigh, here i go talking about it for the millionth time). and i really don't like how some people on our side of the fandom talk about lily in this scene (of course, this is not all of us).
first of all we saw that she initially smiled upon seeing severus be bullied, and yes, this was honestly quite disgusting. we know that severus saw this and was rightfull hurt, and this very well could be the reason why he snapped at her. but that is her only 'crime' in this scene. because she then does quickly turn against james and this entire crowd and defends severus. only for james to insult and threaten her, and severus to call her a 'filthy little mudblood'.
now, people say she should have done more to defend severus, that her attempt was quite half-hearted. i don't know. maybe she could have done more, but she did tell the marauders to stop, you can't say she didn't try. some say she should have hexed james herself or bring up her prefect role (although i'm not sure it's confirmed she was one at this time). but say she was a prefect, her job would be to stop fighting, which she tried to do, not to get involved in fights herself. and you can tell that james is entirely dismissive of her and clearly won't let her stop him no matter what, even threatening her in the process. lily also genuinely seems to still hate him at this point in time, she is described to have been disgusted with him to the point where even harry questions his parents marriage. so i don't believe it's fair to say she was just 'flirting' with james here.
furthermore, people believe she should have forgiven severus for being called a mudblood. i used to agree that it wasn't that serious, but i feel differently now. because it wasn't just a word, it wasn't a one time mistake or slip up or even the first time she noticed that he was slowly turning into a future death eater. that's why i brought up their conversation after the prank. lily knows that severus' descend into the death eaters arms had been going on for months, years even. being called - not even just mudblood, but hearing the words "i don't need help from a filthy little mudblood like her" out of the mouth of her former best friend was just the final nail in the coffin. it was her confirmation that severus was finally too far down that road, and she, as a muggleborn, could no longer justify surrounding herself with him. so she abandons him at the scene, and i can't blame her one bit.
of course this post is not meant to be severus bashing in any way, he is and always will be my favorite character, but i don't enjoy pretending he was completely innocent, even his younger self. this is also not to excuse the marauders, as their bullying never had anything to do with severus possibly being a death eater and was really just for fun and because they could, and because he was an easy victim. but i truly believe that lily deserves some grace and also to be analysed as a complex character like severus, rather than painting her as one dimensional, either fully good or fully bad.
severus becoming a death eater is the tragic result of his background and surroundings, and when we analyse him we factor all of this in. lily was wealthier, had a better family, was pretty, smart and popular and had a good support system in and out of hogwarts. she couldn't understand why severus made the choices he did. maybe as an adult she would have looked back and understood it all better. but as it was, she was just a teenage girl watching her best friend turn against people like her and not knowing what to do about that. and what's also important to me to point out is that it was not her job to try and stop this, to try and fix him or whatever. it was first and foremost the adults in severus' life who failed him over and over again, not lily.
finally a lot of us can't understand how lily ended up marrying her former friends abuser and use this as an argument against her, but i honestly don't want to go too deep into this topic. i personally strongly dislike this relationship, because james treated lily herself like shit too, aswell as other people. we have to believe that he truly did change, even if there is not much to prove this. even if he did, i personally wouldn't have been able to forgive him. but i don't believe that marrying james makes lily a bad person by extension or anything. ultimately, if she was able to find happiness, i'm happy for her.
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The Donovan Desmond Theory
In light of the latest chapter.
Donovan Desmond is giving serious Reginal Hargreeves vibes.
But like if I had suspicions that he was a bad dude or at least is involved in some bad things then that’s been cleared up a little bit in the most recent chapters.
I don’t know if I fully believe Desmond is an alien like Melinda thinks I think maybe he has a non human quality to him (like say something like Anya’s powers) combined with his general lack of human understanding it seems I think him being an alien is Melinda’s explanation for what is happening (or you now chances are he could be one but so far the story has remained fairly grounded and so im inclined to believe it will stay that way)
But what I think is most liek let is that he is the one behind the scientific experiments that Anya, bond and probably a whole lot of other dogs and children were subjected to that gave them powers.
Also
Look at the scars on his head. This is just a little lower than where Anya’s comes (which i think are kind of connected to her powers or atleast covering up something connected to her powers) sit. And honestly they just look like brain experimentation scars.
So initially I thought maybe he was the founder of the experimenting giving powers organization looking for a way to perfect or gain powers but now I think that maybe he was one of the first kids to be experimented on. Maybe he was the only one/ one of the only ones/ the most successful experiment, to survive the process and so they make him the poster child of the project and he grows up within it and they are essentially the shadow organization pulling the strings and orchestrating his life. That would explain why he seems to lack so much proper human socialization skills and why he appears odd enough that Melinda thinks he’s an alien.
Or maybe the original organization fell apart in the lead up to the first war and now he’s rebuilding it to try and continue the work or fix what’s wrong with him but I’m inclined to believe he just believes in the work.
All this to say that I think Desmond can read minds like Anya. I think the boys and his family might be part of some side experiment he’s running to see if these powers can be passed down through dna and so he got himself (or the organization set him up with) a family. I think thats the reason he spent a lot of time up close and personal seemingly monitoring Demetrius and his progress. Trying to see if he would develop any special abilities. But he doesn’t and that why Donovan seems to lose interest in his family.
But I think during this time Desmond teaches Demetrius (without explicitly explaining why or what they are doing) how to be impervious to having his mind read I’m guessing incase Demetrius did show promise and would be brought into the fold, and that’s why Anya can’t read him but he seems to have internalized this as simply just not having a stream of consciousness. The only time we hear his thoughts is when he’s thinking about things in the abstract and that’s probably the key to it. He focuses soley on what he is doing right then in every moment and so thereby doesn’t mule anything over enough to have an internal conversation with himself he was probably taught not to “waste time pondering”anything and just to act when it is appropriate to do so, disguised as a very strange business lesson. As he was probably being very intensely instructed on this. But Demetrius shows no signs of any developing powers so Desmond kind of just pushes him to the way side which must have been jarring to suddenly be so unimportant to your father after so many years of such intense observation
Which is why I think Demetrius harbors anger towards his father and doesn’t understand him because what were the lessons for and why did they abruptly stop and why doesn’t anything he do seem to bring them back? But he never really investigates this deeply because the act of not pondering was instilled within him deeply.
So yeah. I think Donovan Desmond can read minds I would also kind of say him saying “this was a worth while evening” after sitting in silence with his family makes me feel like he just read their minds (those of which he could read) and got what he needed to. Which also makes me believe he is still running some kind of passive experiment on them and that’s why he doesn’t want Melinda to interact with Damian so much maybe he’s going the opposite route and seeing if neglect will allow the boys to awaken their possibly latent abilities. I don’t know man I’m just tapping 🤷🏿♀️ Donovan Desmond just has the look of someone that’s been experimented on whole Demetrius has the look of someone who withstood all kinds of psychological torture from a young age. Take all this with a grain of salt
#god I hope this makes sense#well to late to worry about it now#I do think things are not well with him#I hope this makes sense my thoughts about this aren’t the clearnest#and they’ve been really difficult to put into words#but yeah. here is my Donovan Desmond theory#please watch him be revealed to be an alien 😭#when I heard Melinda say alien my brain immediately went to Reginald Hargreeves#he’s just taking it a step further and trying to have the kinda himself tho#spy x family#spy family#donovan desmond#spy x family chapter 109#sxf#sxf manga#sxf spoilers#sxf Desmond#demetrius desmond#sxf Demetrius#sxf anya#anya forger#spy x family manga#spy x family manga spoilers#sxf chapter 108#sxf ch. 109
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Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 12
AU Noah Sebastian x detective female reader
18+
Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.
Warnings: graphic writings of murder/killings, blood, gore, violence, serial killer, swearing, god complex, use of religion, stockholm syndrome, mentions of the death of a parent
Here we go, things are going to start heating up again now and I’m so excited!! Only 6 chapters left 🤭
Please let me know your thoughts, it honestly makes me so happy reading all your comments/reviews 🖤
Story Tags: @lacy1986 @hayleylatour @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @english-fucker @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsworld @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran @flowery-mess @fadingangelwisp @theanarchymuse95 @1toreyouapart @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @overmydeadbodysblog @concretejunglefm @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @sister-sebastian @alwaysfightforwhoyouare
Let me know if you wish to be added! This is separate to my permanent Noah taglist due to the content within the story!
Chapter Index Here
Masterlist
The next few days had gone by very uneventfully. Noah had been gone more than normal however, not coming in until much later in the evening and not saying what he’d been up to during that time.
The thought had you on edge, you knew he wasn’t finished with his work, had he been killing again?
Being so cut off from the rest of the world down here, you’d never know unless he told you….however you were certain he wouldn’t resist bragging about his latest kill to you if he had.
You wondered if people were looking for you yet, surely someone must have noticed you were missing? Then again, you were married to your job. Over the years you’d distanced yourself from most of your old friends due to the long hours at work, so focused on the cases on your desk that people stopped inviting you out to things, only so many times people will keep trying when you constantly say ‘no’ or ‘sorry I’m working’.
The last few months played heavy on your mind, everything that had happened since that day the first case was assigned to you.
Your feelings for Noah was something you couldn’t deny or ignore, you knew it was wrong, it was sick but you couldn’t stop thinking about him, as your partner and your friend. The only man in recent years who actually saw you, who believed in you.
Did you even want to be found?
That was something else that had been going through your mind. What did you really have waiting for you?
But what did you expect to happen if you stayed? You knew Noah wouldn’t keep you locked down here forever, you knew on some level that you couldn’t trust him…but that was the problem…in some ways, you trusted him more then the people you had around you at the station.
“I wonder what he truly intends to do with me…”
You suddenly heard the commotion of Noah coming down the stairs, so much louder than normal, like he was bringing something down with him.
The sound of the locks turning and the heavy door creaking open slightly reached your ears as you waited to see him appear, twiddling your fingers together as you stood on the spot.
Noah’s masked face came around the door, his breathing more laboured than usual. He brought his gloved hand up to his mask and pulled it off his head and tossing it carelessly to the side, his hair falling around his face which held a sinister but satisfied grin like he was extremely pleased with himself.
“Hello angel, I have a surprise for you”
Your brows frowned as a knot started to form within the pit of your stomach, feeling something was definitely wrong.
“Bring that chair over here”
It was an order, not a request.
Noah swung the door open wider and you gasped as you saw Noah dragging a body into the room, a dark sack type bag covering the face, but you could tell from the persons build that it was a man. A man who was very much alive as he struggled against Noah’s strong hold.
You stared in shock until he shot you a sharp look and you quickly turned and grabbed the chair by the desk and pulled it over to where he was standing, the man still struggling in his grasp.
“Shh, shh, shhh”
Watching Noah shushing the man so casually in his ear sent a chill down your spine.
Noah manhandled him until he was sat in the chair and he tied his arms tightly around the back of the seat, the man making muffled noises from under the sack.
You felt the knot grow as your voice was lost, a nauseous wave hitting you hard, what was about to happen?
“There we go, make yourself comfortable”
Noah turned back to you, that sickening smile still present.
“What’s the matter angel? You look nervous?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat before you found your voice again.
“Wha…what’s going on?”
Noah opened his arms wide and gestured to the man.
“I told you that I had something planned for you angel”
You had no idea what was happening, nothing was making sense.
“I don’t understand…”
Noah’s smile grew as he approached you and cupped your cheeks in his gloved hands as he stared down at you.
“Then how about I just show you…”
Noah smirked as he stepped back, he reached over and grabbed the sack and yanked it off his head, the identity of the man being revealed.
And your blood ran cold.
Tied up in front of you was a man called Ethan Collins. The man who killed your father.
FLASHBACK
You were sitting at your desk in your office doing some research for the case, sipping on your half cold coffee every so often.
Noah was sat next to you, typing away on his own laptop before he yawned and stretched his tall body out.
“Well I feel like I’m going cross eyed”
You giggled at his statement as you turned to him, giving your own eyes a rest, you had both been going over old cold cases for hours now to see if there was any connections but so far, nothing.
“Maybe 10 minutes away from the screens wouldn’t hurt”
Noah nodded and downed the rest of his cup, grimacing at the cold liquid.
“Perfect time to get more coffee as well”
You finished yours, not particularly bothered that it was basically cold.
You set the cup back down next to the photo on your desk, causing Noah to follow your movements.
“That you and your dad?”
You glanced at the photo, a heavy feeling settling instantly within your chest as you smiled softly as you saw your younger self, somewhere around the age of 8 on your dads back as he gave you a piggyback ride, your arms wrapped securely around his neck as you both beamed at the camera.
“Yeah. That’s one of my favourite photos of us together”
Noah smiled as he looked over the picture.
“He really would be so proud of you detective”
You shook your head softly.
“Maybe, but…I’ve always felt like I’ve let him down”
Noah frowned as he looked at you.
“Why’s that?”
You took a deep breath before you answered.
“Because his killer got away with it…I told you that he was killed on duty? My dad had been after this guy for a while, all petty crime shit you know? The night my dad caught him robbing someone red handed, he shot him down” you took another breath and steadied your voice before continuing. “I know who he is, everyone here at the station did…but there wasn’t enough evidence as he had a ‘watertight alibi’ from his cronies and so the jury let him off”
Noah’s hand came to rest on top of your own gently.
“I’m sorry”
You looked up at him and felt your eyes welling up.
“I just wanted my dad to have some justice, I wanted that bastard to pay for what he did…and yet still he walks free to this day…I failed him”
Noah shook his head.
“Now you listen to me, you never failed him, the system failed him, failed you. Your dad would be so proud of everything you have become and what you’ve accomplished at this station, you’ve carried on his legacy for him and made a name for yourself”
You smiled and wiped a tear away that had fallen down your cheek before you pulled away and tried to compose your emotions.
“I hope so”
You went to go back to your laptop when Noah spoke again.
“What was his name?”
“Huh?”
You turned to him confused.
“The man who killed your father, what was his name?”
You felt your blood boil at the mere thought of that man’s name.
“Ethan Collins”
END OF FLASHBACK
You felt your body shaking as you stared at your father’s killer tied up in front of you.
Ethan’s scared eyes looked up and met yours and he tried to speak through the gag in his mouth, clearly begging for help as he struggled against his restraints.
It was obvious he had no idea who you were.
Suddenly you felt like a little girl again. A little girl who was yearning for her dad. A wave of emotions flooded your body, not knowing which one you were feeling more.
Shock, sadness, fear, anger, the gut wrenching pain of the loss of your dad feeling as strong as the day you were told he was gone.
Noah stayed quiet as he allowed you to take it all in, his eyes never leaving your face.
You tried to gain some control over your thoughts as you finally turned to Noah.
“Wha…what the fuck is this?!”
Noah smiled.
“Your surprise angel. You’re ready”
“Ready for what?!”
Noah’s smile grew as he pulled one of his knifes out of his jacket pocket, flicking the blade open.
“To help me finish my work…you’re going to kill him”
#thou shalt not kill#noah sebastian#bad omens#bad omens band#bad omens cult#noah sebastian davis#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah bad omens#noah sebastian imagine#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian drabble#noah sebastian fic#concreteangel92
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^^me realizing my friend may actually not be my friend or understand me as a person or care about me at all outside of a shallow perception of me based on my recent behavior despite the fact they have known me for 6 years
#this is a vent#sucks to realize that someone never really cared about you#or at least never bothered to show it#and I mean we’ve always been very “friends who are super different”#but I didn’t think about how that might play into them not actually being the type of friend I need?#this feels very middle school navigating friendships help book#but I seriously feel like shit for not realizing this#that they never stopped to actually look at me or how I act#in the way I try to see how they are at certain times#i could name so many things they do differently from how they normally are#when they’re tired their face twitches#every time they swipe something o their phone they make a full circle with their thumb before doing it again#they act like they’re not touchy unless they’re with friends#and yet I’m realizing that they probably don’t know any of these things /I/ do#that I know for a fact my other#better friends do#and Honestly I only stopped to think about this recently#because I was talking with one of our shared friends about another one of our friendsnot taking them seriously#so I offered to help them talk it through#only to be told by this person that I shouldn’t or can’t#because “you can’t mediate”#they didn’t have a reason why#they just said I couldn’t#and maybe this is just me being insecure and wanting to Prove I Am Capable#And Useful To The People In My Life#but it just stuck with me????#that they thought I was incapable of that#and I KNOW why they said that#it’s because of how I present myself#because I project a lot of confidence and carelessness (cough rise leo cough im not bringing him into this tho)
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tbh I don’t think therapy would have fixed Jayce and Viktor lmao. maybe would have softened their self-destructive tendencies but there’s no fixing that co-dependent relationship. Heimerdinger Mel and Sky are told “yeah, I can help treat their individual depressions but nothing is gonna reduce their co-dependency. I’m pretty sure separating them makes it a lot worse for not only them but much worse for everyone else. for everyone’s safety I suggest they’re not allowed to be more than a buildings length away from each other and even that is pushing it.” That therapist then quits on the spot cause now they’ve literally seen everything.
It’s like that scene in Brooklyn nine nine where all the physiatrists are observing and talking with Gina but instead it’s a whole crew of therapists and neurologists and physiologists trying to find out how these two men literally mind-melded together. They go to couples therapy but it’s literally just individual therapy held together because why tf not it’s the only way to get them to go.
#in therapy like well Viktor doesn’t sleep well and I think it’s because he keeps dreaming about that time when he was 12 and got sick#the therapist is like well does Viktor tell you this and Viktor is like no I didn’t tell him that recently but that is why I can’t sleep#this is how their therapy is paid for btw that team dealing with them is getting research papers and grants and funding#their award winning paper is about codependency and the end of the world and shit#one therapist suggests they spend a few days apart and the next time they come back talk about it#and all those two can do is just info dump to each other about random shit they did and thought about while they were apart#they didn’t even do the same things but for some reason complete each others sentences#the therapist is like how did you know????? and they’re like well it’s so obvious what he did while I was away#and it’s just science and science and science#that therapists just quits and leaves Piltover#gets tf away from those two#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayvik#jayce was like well last time I was separated from Viktor he almost died and the second time I teamed up with a random girl and killed a ki#Viktor is like no way last time we were separated I experimented on myself with runes shimmer and the hexcore#AU sky doesn’t die btw#and they’re just like lmao oops too bad you weren’t there you probably would have stopped me#honestly they should have been exiled with the caveat they have to go together#these two get handcuffed together and their only problem is that it’s now harder to work in the lab
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if you noticed i updated the game yesterday it was just an editing update. i fixed some coding errors in the codex and i edited the character introductions so they no longer introduce themselves with their pronouns. i never really wanted to do that & it just didn't fit the flow for me so we're back to the hunter just getting everyone's pronouns beamed directly into their brain
#i realized a lot of people noticed yesterday the notif on itchio got like 30+ likes (a lot for itch) lmfao im sorry#i want to edit the hormone scene as well but honestly cant think of a more natural way to do it atp so it's staying as is#i changed the intros originally because people would not stop bothering me about noel's pronouns. but they still do that anyways so#and i also had to add in the word butch for lea for the same reason#im sure they'll do it again when rafe shows up regardless of what i do since ey only uses neopronouns lol#anyways a part of me is still hopeful for a real content update this year... pray 4 me#i had a moment recently where i realized tnp is the equivalent of like 6 large novels & it suddenly made sense why i was so burned out lol#this time of year is also not my favorite but we stay silly
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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uh oh gang I miss musicals
#aarrggh it's not like I haven't tried/liked any since lockdown started. I enjoyed watt lihn and rtc.#and it's only sort of that I don't know what's up in the current/recent theater scene#I could simply look up what's on and what cast albums have come out lately and pick something#and there have been plenty of cast changes and new productions for stuff I already like!#honestly I think the thing stopping me from getting back into musicals is that I've had a few computer changes since 2020#and lost most of my bootleg collection so I don't really have ways to get new recordings of things I want#and I gather that most of that has moved onto private discord servers in the last two years anyway#and I just neither have the social skills to easily get into those circles nor the money to buy videos direct from masters#like. my friend and I were foiled THRICE from seeing the 50th anniversary jcs tour and they've said several times#that the best present I could get for them would be a video of that production so we could finally watch it together#but I don't even know where to go anymore to check if a video of that tour exists and I doubt I have anything worth trading for it anyway#most nothing problem in the world ik ik. but like. ;-; wanny see me shows...#sorry for being a bit maudlin about musical theater nonsense I'm not expecting any 'there theres'#I just can't really complain about this stuff irl without going through four layers of context first#marina marvels at life
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hm.
#the way people are acting like *any* discussion of the current situation and the updates we are getting (from everyone *but* Q nd team)-#is something like ''doomposting''..... bro...#doomposting is when people act like this means the server is completely over and nothing could bring it back.#*this* is people discussing what information we do have and what we are realistically expecting to happen based on that#(and honestly imo most of it is way more positive and trying to look on the bright side)#seeing people call realistic discussions ''doomposting'' just makes me think you want to stick your head in the sand and ignore everything#instead of facing the reality that the server does in fact have problems and from what we know only one (money) is -#actively in the process of being solved#so yeah when i see ppl say ''stop doomposting'' in regards to mild negativity i think you refuse to actually face any issues-#and i think you dont actually care about the horrible labour practices that the admins face.#you just want to watch your fav and all this ''discourse'' (labour violations) is ''ruining it'' (making you think critically)#so yeah. hot take for today ''doomposting'' isnt happening and you just hate to see any criticism be widespread#citric complaints#not in regard to any single blog btw this is a viewpoint ive seen from many different blogs (though some have recently changed viewpoints)
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After years of my mom obsessing over my hair and forcing me to do various treatments on it and threatening punishment if I didn’t comply. I’ve come to understand why Britney shaved her head that one time. I know that was something she did as part of a mental breakdown but fuck yeah good for her. I get it.
#and the stupid bitch still doesn’t get it or maybe she refuses to#like you can’t pretend you’re just worried and you don’t understand why I’m angry when you’ve spent years strong arming me into#putting castor oil in my hair and attempting to put mayonnaise in it and I think the only thing that stopped her was my dermatologist#bc he said it wouldn’t do anything at best and also don’t put fucking condiments in your hair#but she really wanted to and I don’t remember this but she might’ve hit me over my refusal#and she’d threaten to take my phone away or deny me something else if I didn’t let her do shit#and then recently she FaceTimed me while I was at DND and tried persuading me to see an endocrinologist#like saying oh she had a friend with the same problem and went to an endocrinologist and the birth control was the issue#(never mind the fact that my BC is the reason I don’t have painful cystic acne anymore and do have a regular period again)#and she was trying to push me into going#and I kept saying I wasn’t having this conversation w her now bc I was busy and she was just like ‘so when are we going to have it’#and basically trying to push past my boundary of I’m fucking busy and this conversation doesn’t need to happen now#I just hung up on her and went on airplane mode but fuck even thinking about it makes me so angry like I want to punch her kinds of angry#and honestly if she hadn’t kept ignoring me and hadn’t kept trying to have this conversation after I said I was busy maybe I would’ve taken#it into consideration and looked into seeing one sometime#but honestly now I absolutely fucking refuse unless my doctor and I agree it’d be a good idea#fuck off mom fuck off and mind your own fucking business#personal#erika's blog and bar
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:-) things are getting better september truly is a month of new beginnings
#yesterday i went out to the grocery store late at night and bought so much yogurt i think that was my turning point i am forever changed#and today i went to the mall with my mom and bought myself a pair of sunglasses that i really wanted for so long#and the guy that works there recognized me 😭😭😭😭#i went there before to buy my cousin a graduation gift and honestly i came back bc i wanted the same ones i got for her they’re so cool#anyway the staff recognized me and gave me a special discount bc im a ‘regular’ even tho this is only my second time buying from them 🥹🥹#that was so nice of him bc if it wasnt for that dicount i probably wouldnt have bought the sunglasses bc theyre a bit pricey for my budget#anyway i got them 🥹 so im feeling a bit better#also! i bought myself a little rice cooker for one serving so i don’t starve and stop ordering so much food that i don’t have money for#i think this month is spending on myself month#and tomorrow im going out to celebrate my friend’s birthday 🥰🥰 we’re going to a bakery then to a museum and im bringing my camera with me <3#recently i’ve fixed my 10 year old camera and its so perfect i love it so much i found a manual online and im gonna learn how to properly#use all the effects and settings it has#i bought it with my mom in 2013 and honestly we picked the best design ever it looks so coooool god i love my little camera im taking it#everywhere with me 🥹💛💛#anyway .. the last episode of uncanny counter 2 aired today 🥲🥲🥲 im gonna make myself some rice in my new rice cooker and watch it 🫶#then i’ll take a warm shower and finish off my friends bday gift#im making them a crochet cat keychain i hope it comes out well#alsoooo LETTERS WITH NOTES OUT TOMORROW im soooo excited i love you september#anyway i came here to talk about my week bc it was nice :-) i hope everyone’s september is going well too <3
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How JJK Men Eat Pussy 2.0
Satoru, Suguru, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna, Yuta, Itadori, Megumi
Warnings: All characters are 18+, this post is explicit smut. As if you couldn’t tell that from the title
A/N: Funny story, I forgot I already wrote this same concept last year… but since I didn’t realize until I finished writing this… imma post it anyways. But if you’d like to see my original thoughts on this topic, you can see them here with an additional 2 characters lol
Gojo Satoru
He is relentless, especially when he’s in the mood to go down on you. These little moods of his will have him between your legs for hours, multiple times a day. You always like to joke that he knows when you’re ovulating because somehow these little moods seem to fall in sync. If Satoru goes more than three days without you, it’s like he’s going through withdrawals. He’s skilled with his tongue, he’s able to move it in ways and speeds you didn’t know a man could. Typically he’s a tease, he’ll edge you until you have an orgasm so pathetic you can’t even call it one. Ya know, the kinds where you come and don’t feel that satisfaction, just the pulsating ache of needing more. But recently, Satoru discovered how much more fun it is to overstimulate you. He loves the way your finger’s bury in his hair and try to tug him off as he sucks on your clit until you’re sobbing and begging him to ease up. He’ll keep your thighs spread wide, large hands effortlessly keeping them in place while they desperately try and close. He’s also the type to see those “pineapple make’s your cum sweet” articles and come home with enough pineapples to feed a village. He’s not even embarrassed about his reasoning, even if it’s just a myth, his sweet tooth can’t pass up the opportunity. Satoru loves your natural taste, but you surprised him with edible lubes in various fruity and sweet flavors one night… you still recall seeing the sun rise.
Geto Suguru
He’s a god at eating pussy and you can’t convince me otherwise. Suguru has always been about your pleasure over his, not to say he doesn’t have his selfish moments, but your pleasure is just so much fun to him. He loves the noise, the facial expressions, the smell, the taste. The first time he went down on you, you were convinced he was lying about it being his first time. The ability just came naturally to Suguru. Like Satoru, Suguru loves to tease you. He’ll focus all of his attention on your dripping entrance, only stimulating your clit if his nose bumps it. He loves the way you squirm, his nails leaving crescent shaped nail marks in the plump flesh of your thighs as he holds you in place. He loves your breathless gasps, his long hair tickling your thighs as he eats you out, only adding to the stimulation that’s making your toes curl. Suguru loves to make you beg, pulling his mouth away from your cunt to just barely flick his tongue over your clit. He’ll stop all together just to taunt you until you’re sobbing, begging him to do something. He has a whole album on his phone dedicated to you, most of the content being videos of him eating you out, some he even made you take just so he could see the camera shake with your effort to keep it straight and hear your noises better. He puts on a show for you, slurping and sucking and moaning just to feel your thighs tremble as you moan with him.
Nanami Kento
Eating you out is a stress reliever for Nanami… so it happens like very fucking day. Lord help me this man will spend hours edging you, cheek pressed into your thigh as he lazily licks and nips at your cunt. He can’t think about anything but you when he is between our legs, moaning and whining his name like a beautiful lullaby. He’ll let you cum eventually, but for the time being you are completely at his mercy. Nanami is the type to wake you up with his head between your legs, especially on nights where he comes home late and you’re already passed out in bed. He’ll make out with your cunt honestly, licking and sucking and nipping at your folds until he can’t tell if you’re wet from his saliva or your own arousal. The answer is both. He doesn’t care for any of the fancy shit, so don’t bother with flavored lubes or eating particular fruits to try and alter your taste, he just wants you and you alone. I feel like this man has a scent kink so the smell of your arousal honestly gets him going even more. He prefers eating you out in bed, mostly because he’s tired and nothing feels better to him than laying on his plush mattress while using your thighs as his pillow. He’s a whore for face sitting by the way, even less of his energy needs to be put into that, especially when you’re grinding your cunt against his tongue. Nanami’s other favorite thing to do is use his tie to bind your wrists, that way you really can’t interrupt him.
Fushiguro Toji
I had to restart Toji’s so many times because I got too aggressive. Listen, this bummy ass bitch will eat you out till the sunrises and he will make a fucking mess of you while he does it. Toji will eat you out and finger fuck you until you’re screaming. He’ll give you a “break” by stuffing you full with his dick and then get back to work eating you out again after he blew his load in you. Filthy bitch. He’ll eat you out anytime, anywhere, any position. He’ll never turn down the opportunity and depending on your relationship with him, this bitch may even charge you for his services. Which is just another way he likes to tease you, watching you whine and squirm while you cough up the money he wants. He’ll call you pathetic as he gets on his knees and basically rips your underwear off of you, commenting the whole time about how much of a whore you are… like he ain’t selling his body to you rn. This man will somehow make you feel inferior, but you can’t be bothered when his tongue is lapping at your cunt like a starved man. Toji will make sure your thighs and your cunt are swollen, bruised, overstimulated, and sore by the time he’s done with you. Your cunt is puffy from his sucking and biting, thighs littered in dark marks and teeth indents. He'd go as far as to find a marker and write “cum dumpster” on you if he was really in the mood to see you sob.
Ryomen Sukuna
Listen, you thought Toji could be mean? Sukuna is ten times worse. The thing is, the king of curses actually likes to eat pussy but he won’t admit it. But that is not to say he can’t live without it, Sukuna is selfish and really only prefers things that pleasure him in the process. But, when you’re sobbing, pathetically begging him to go down on you, he may just crack. Especially if you’re looking at him with watery eyes, swollen lips from sucking him off, your neck littered with bite marks and bruises. Oh, and, if you’ve made him cum, he’s more likely to agree and indulge you. If you manage to convince the king of curses to go down on you, don’t expect him to be easy on you. His nails are digging into the flesh of your thighs, blood dripping slowly as he eats you out with so much force it’s borderline painful. He’s using his tongue and his teeth, nipping at your folds and even grazing your clit with them until he can tell your sobs are a breathless mix of pleasure and pain. If we’re talking true form Sukuna, I promise you he won’t stop until you’ve blacked out. He’ll use one set of arms to hold your waist while the other set keeps your thighs spread. He’s forcefully dragging your cunt over the long tongue that protrudes from his stomach, occasionally stopping just to hold you still as he spreads you open and stuffs you with the same tongue, watching you yelp and moan as he toys with you.
Okkotsu Yuta
If you look up the definition of “pussy drunk” you’ll see a picture of Yuta. This man cannot go down on you without becoming delirious. Your body puts him in a trance, he can’t even explain the way you make him feel. Yuta is all about body worship and his favorite way to go about it is having his face shoved between your legs for hours. He’s just as vocal as you are while he eats you out, groaning and whining against your cunt until the vibrations are making your eyes roll back as you cum again. He’ll be kneading your thighs as he eats, squeezing them like stress balls and hitting nerves that send sparks of electricity all the way to your toes and all the way up to the base of your neck. Without even trying, Yuta will manage to overstimulate you until you’re unironically going cross-eyed, fingers twitching as they bury in his hair and try to pull him off so you can catch your breath. Yuta is still a bit shy when it comes to being intimate outside of the privacy of your home. But that doesn’t mean he won’t drag you into the nearest bathroom and eat you out against the bathroom stall. In this sense, he’s almost cocky when someone unknowingly enters the bathroom only to see two sets of feet in one of the stalls. Not to mention the noises are echoing. Yuta lives to see your eyes going wide from embarrassment as he doesn’t stop, your noises are uncontrollable as he tongue fucks you. The poor bastard who entered the bathroom with the intention of properly using it just muttered under their breath and walked out.
Itadori Yuji
Yuji is eager, so, so damn eager. He wants to do anything and everything that brings you pleasure so when it comes to eating you out, he’s determined to be great at it. Yuji is the type to ask you for “practice” or “lessons” which is just his way of indirectly asking if he can eat you out. Most of the time, it’s an offer you can’t refuse, because as fate would have it, Yuji isn’t bad at anything. He’s so praise focused, eyes glued to your face as he flicks his tongue along your folds and waits for you to tell him he’s doing good. He’ll slow down when your praise isn’t coming fast enough because he wants you to beg. Yuji is a sucker for adding fingers to the mix, as much as he loves making you cum with just his tongue, he sees no point in limiting your pleasure for his own confidence boost. Kind of contradictory since he likes when you beg. Yuji is also the type to wake you up with his head between your legs, just slowly lapping at your cunt while also rutting his hips into the mattress, trying to not wake you up until you’re coming. He finds it so pretty when you wake up gasping, completely unable to restrict any of your noises as you orgasm. It’s important to mention that Yuji is a sucker for 69-ing and face sitting, he loves, loves, feeling your plush thighs caging in his head. He can’t get enough of the way your body settles so nicely into him, no longer afraid of “suffocating him” by sitting all the way down on him.
Fushiguro Megumi
He won’t admit it but he loves to eat you out. Megumi is shy at heart so even if he’s been with you for years, he can still get embarrassed when telling you how badly he wants to go down on you. He’s focused when he does get between your legs, hands gripping your thighs or hips while his tongue laps greedily at your cunt. Megumi loves to tongue fuck you, just because he knows it’s not enough stimulation to make you cum but enough to make you embarrassingly wet. He’s a bit mean at first, not willing to let you come until he feels you’ve earned it. He’ll stop abruptly just to sink his teeth into your inner thighs, not stopping until you’re gasping as the pain turns bruising. He’ll admire the teeth indents he’s left on your skin while his nails are scratching down your other thigh, tongue moving to wiggle against your clit until your hips are bucking. Megumi finds toys to be very hit or miss, but he’s found a love for stuffing you with a vibrator while putting all of his attention on your clit. Megumi’s preferred method of “torture” depends on his mood, either he’ll edge you until you’re begging or overstimulate you until you’re crying. He’s very private when it comes to these things… unless he’s jealous. Much like Yuta, he will not hesitate to drag you somewhere private while out in public to remind you of who you belong to.
#dividers are from @benkeibear#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk headcanons#gojo smut#geto smut#satoru smut#suguru smut#nanami smut#toji smut#sukuna smut#yuta smut#itadori smut#megumi smut#gojo x reader#geto x reader#nanami x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#yuta x reader#itadori x reader#megumi x reader
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🐝 * ― 𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 / 𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.
❛ i can't stop thinking about you even when i try. ❜ ❛ every time i see you, it's like my heart skips a beat. ❜ ❛ i never realized how much i needed you until you weren't there. ❜ ❛ do you ever feel like there's something missing ... like a piece of your heart is somewhere else? ❜ ❛ i wish i had the courage to tell you how i feel. ❜ ❛ if only you knew how much you truly mean to me. ❜ ❛ do you ever wonder what it would be like if things were different between us? ❜ ❛ sometimes i wonder if you ever think about me the way i think about you. ❜ ❛ i had a lot of dreams about you recently. ❜ ❛ somehow, you're always on my mind. ❜ ❛ i think i've been in love with you since the day we met - scratch that, i know i've been in love with you since the day we met. ❜ ❛ my biggest wish is to hold you close and never let you go. ❜ ❛ all my life i've felt like a part of me was missing, but with you i've finally found it. ❜ ❛ you deserve better than who i am right now, but i'm gonna keep trying to become someone you do deserve. ❜ ❛ every time you smile at me, i get this flutter in my chest. ❜ ❛ do you think i'll ever be worthy of your love? ❜ ❛ i want to be the person to make you happy. the one person you can always come to with whatever you need. ❜ ❛ will we ever get another chance together? ❜ ❛ you were the best thing that's ever happened to me. ❜ ❛ my biggest regret is ever letting you go. ❜ ❛ i'm still in love with you ... and i honestly never stopped. ❜ ❛ when i wake up in the morning, you're the first person i want to see. ❜ ❛ every time i wake up, i check if you wrote me another message. ❜ ❛ i wish i could be as important to you as you are to me. ❜ ❛ it hurts when you don't talk to me like you used to. ❜ ❛ i miss everything about you, your touch, your laugh, your smile. i wish i could have that back. ❜ ❛ i want to fall asleep wrapped in your arms. ❜ ❛ hold me closer; i always feel safer when you're with me. ❜ ❛ there's so much i wish i was able to tell you. ❜ ❛ i know things aren't easy right now, but i want to remain a fixture in your life. after all, you're one in mine. ❜ ❛ i miss the way you always made me smile. ❜ ❛ you're the reason i keep holding on. ❜ ❛ maybe we're supposed so to remain a case of 'right person, wrong time' forever. ❜ ❛ if only you knew how i feel about you. ❜ ❛ i'm yearning to hold your hand in mine. ❜ ❛ i think you are the one for me, and i hope one day i'll be the one for you, too. ❜ ❛ do you think i'll ever become more than a friend to you? ❜ ❛ my heart belongs to you, always and forever. ❜ ❛ my first instinct is to protect you, no matter the cost. ❜ ❛ i've been thinking about us a lot lately. ❜
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drains me slowly
pairing: wade wilson x gn!reader
summary: deadpool finally invites you, the coworker he has a massive crush on, over, which means the two of you end up doing more than just watching a movie.
tags: smut (18+), sub!wade wilson, dom!reader, pain kink, use of superpowers to fuel a pain kink, light masochism, teasing, gentle dom, hand job, scratching, body worship
wc: 3.3k
a/n: fic inspired by the new deadpool movie coming out!!! also, title is from love me dead by ludo.
No surprise that Wade wasn’t exactly anyone’s favorite– that goes for among the heroes he’s worked with and throughout his life in general. He’s – to put it in the kindest way anyone’s ever told him – fucking annoying. Oh, he’s more than aware that he’s a little too out-of-pocket, abrasive, impulsive– a nightmare to interact with, really. And those were just the recent comments made by the closest thing he has to coworkers! The shit he heard from people growing up was leagues worse.
Look, having a rough start in life isn’t uncommon and he’s sure as hell not gonna get the tiny violin out for himself and throw his own little pity party, but he’s grown enough since his healing factor got beat out of him to acknowledge that he’s had it tough over the years.
He’s still going, though! Yeah, he may not always be the best at doing his laundry quick enough to get any clean clothes to wear, or at stopping his room from becoming cluttered with too many half-empty water bottles, but he’s still making it by, day by day.
But, well, it’s still really hard to constantly put himself out there, get assigned – or infinitely more likely, just shove himself into – whatever jobs or missions he feels like taking on when everyone treats him like Jar Jar Binks.
That was until you came along. So, obviously you’re crazy hot – he’s gotta get that out of the way first – but more than that, you were confident. Competent, too, and those rarely coincide in Wade’s experience. You mostly worked on call, joining the occasional mission, battle, or investigation because your mutant powers came in handy often, but you also still kept up with your day job. Honestly, Wade thinks the reason why you weren’t always present in fights was to stop the other mutants from being out of a job. Your ability to slowly deteriorate surrounding biological tissue, while horrifying and a pain in the ass to control – your words – was basically winning on easy mode.
But no, you were adamant about keeping your involvement with the X-Men infrequent– only joining when your presence was absolutely necessary. Apparently nonstop high stress situations aren't good for your mental health– who knew?
And he wants to pretend he became obsessed with you because of all those things, and of course they helped, but really, you had him at hello. Or well, you bothering to say hello and actually talk to him in the first place, to ask him questions about his life in moments of downtime where usually he’d be left with an unenthusiastic audience instead of a warm-hearted listener who actually laughed at his jokes.
So, of course, he has to go and fuck it up.
…
“So, glad that’s over, huh?” Wade says through a smile, the whites of his mask squeezing as his cheeks rise. “Speaking of over, you wanna come?”
“Over?” you shake your head a little, flashing your teeth as you try and comprehend him. “Right after we took on a whole crime ring?”
“Well, what a better time to unwind, am I right?”
“Oh?” you raise your eyebrows. “We’re unwinding?”
It’s small, but you swear Wade ups his talking speed, “Well, yeah, you know. Watch a movie, order in, show you my Pokemon cards, the works.”
You hum, pretending to consider it, “Depends, you got a holo Charizard?”
And now, for sure, he exhales his relief. “You insult me.”
The two of you enter his apartment not long after you’re dismissed from the mission, and Wade briefly excuses himself to change out of his suit. Making yourself at home, you take a seat on the couch and glance across his living room. His apartment is surprisingly nice. The kitchen and living room are one large, open space with a sleek, modern design. Also, you’d assume someone as chaotic as Wade would keep their house in a messier state, or hell, at least a little dusty, but the living room is spotless. Maybe he cleaned recently? What, was he planning on inviting someone over?
Snorting as you shake your head, a small click from across the hall catches your attention.
You’ve only seen Wade on the job, so naturally he’s always been wearing his red suit, but for some reason, you never stopped to picture him wearing civilian clothes. Actually, now that you’re seeing him in a sweatshirt and sweatpants – awfully warm for this weather – you’re struggling to reconcile the image of him you had in your head with the person right in front of you.
Well, at least until Wade brings up a fist to cover his mouth, illustrating his nervousness, and the tension fizzles out. Only Wade has body language that cartoonishly exaggerated.
“Nice sweats, green looks good on you.”
Wade pauses for a moment, registering your words before he giggles softly, arm falling to his side, “I’ve been thinking about changing the color of my suit. You know, hiding all the blood is great and all, but sometimes I gotta wonder – could this thing be more flattering?”
He walks over with a spring in his step before sitting by your side. Cutely, he wraps you up in the larger blanket first before settling the smaller, throw blanket over himself. You try your hardest not to show your confusion outwardly, but seeing Wade up close now has you questioning his outfit all the more.
He’s a bit tall, so the sweatpants don’t go all the way down to his ankles, but Wade’s wearing calf socks, as if he specifically were trying to avoid them being uncovered. Also, his hoodie’s easily a size or two larger, which makes it the perfect thing to wear to lounge around and watch a movie in, but also, the sleeves cover his entire hand sans his fingers. From the little you can see of them, they look puckered in scars.
But obviously Wade’s hands are scarred– he’s a mercenary. He’s handled all sorts of weapons and been in hundreds of fights over the years. You weren’t expecting his skin to be baby-smooth.
What’s interesting to you is why he’d go through all the trouble to hide it.
Also, yeah, the most obvious pointers were that the hood of his sweatshirt is up even though you two are indoors in his own home and – how could you forget this one – his Deadpool mask is still on.
Was he just uncomfortable with sharing his identity in general or was he specifically trying to shove distance between the two of you? Whatever, if he doesn’t want to take his mask off with you, he doesn’t have to. You feel a distinct pang in your chest, but you try not to let it color how you respond to him. He’s more than in the right to only share what he feels most comfortable with.
Wade’s been fiddling with the remote while you’ve been – hopefully – subtly looking him over, and the screen finally changes from a streaming service page to the opening of the movie.
“We’re watching The Princess Bride? I didn’t take you for a romantic.”
He bats his eyes – at least, you think he does, given the mask– and speaks in a sweet voice “Why, me? Oh please, I know romance. I’m not going to invite a lovely, gorgeous, incredible person over and force them to watch Die Hard on the first–”
His back straightens out like he’s been electrocuted before he forcibly relaxes his posture to finish his thought.
“Hang-out.”
Okay, you want to go easy on him, especially because he seems so tense, but you can’t just let that one slide. You close the small distance remaining between the two of you, causing your entire side to press against his. Even through his sweatshirt, you can feel how warm he is.
“Mmm, just a hang out?” you mumble, sliding your head onto his shoulder. You’ve done this before, either for comedic effect or just in an attempt to push his buttons the same way he always tries to push yours – which, despite his best efforts, always ends up endearing him to you instead of bothering you – but never in a context like this.
He inhales sharply, and you count the seconds until he finally lets himself release it. Sometimes, you think he takes his healing factor for granted.
Turning his head to peer down at you, Wade considers you for a moment, keeping his face and body language deceptively neutral. You try your hardest to keep your eyes focused on the movie and your body loose and comfortable.
“You want this to be a date?” he says, flat.
“Why, thank you for asking, dear sir,” you copy his sweet voice from earlier before returning to your normal. “Yes, Wade, I like you.”
“I–” he starts, but the words get caught on their way out. His fingers bury themselves in the material of his sweatpants, and the movement draws your attention to them again. Shades of blotchy red and pink curve all across his skin.
Wade doesn’t say anything, which is concerning enough on its own, but following your confession, you feel like he’s more than out of his element.
“That’s why you invited me over, right?” you try and help him out. “You feel the same, too.”
And then, feeling bold, you turn your head to face his still mask-covered head and kiss him lightly on the cheek. Instantly, you see fireworks go off inside him, because Wade hurriedly shuts the TV off and runs off to close the blinds. There’s barely enough light in the room now to make out shapes, but apparently Wade doesn’t take any issue because he peels his mask back and kisses you on the lips.
His lips are textured, and your intuition flashes quietly in the back of your mind, but for right now, you focus on how energetic he is. If his body is warm, his mouth feels like it’s on fire. He’s constantly moving, trying to experience all of you as fast as possible.
It’s making your face heat up, how quickly he demands your complete attention and how relentless he is in grabbing it. Wade bites your bottom lip, causing you to gasp into him, and he uses the opportunity to explore across your own teeth and tongue. After a few more seconds, you break away, needing the space to breathe.
“Holy shit,” you whisper, voice rough.
“You’re telling me,” Wade coughs out. “We could’ve been doing that this whole time?”
“Well, all you had to do was ask.”
And although you can’t see him, which you know is the point, you understand something in him has shifted. He gets up from the couch, takes you by the hand, and leads you towards his room. His pace is so quick, you barely comprehend his actions until you’re both standing right in front of his bed.
“Is this okay?” he asks, quiet. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him stifle the amount of words he let loose before.
“Yes, of course it is. But Wade, we have to turn on at least a lamp or something in here.”
“We do?”
“Yeah,” you pause to give him a second to think. “I can’t see you at all like this.”
“What if – and you're just going to have to trust me on this one – you’d prefer it this way,” Wade’s voice is light, but it feels like it’s cracking at the edges.
“And why’s that?”
Not like you’d be able to see, but the anxiety radiating off of him makes him sound wide-eyed, “Huh? Oh, I– uh…”
“Look, if you’re worried about how I’m going to react to you having a bunch of scars– don’t. I don’t mind,” the sound of fabric rustling in front of you makes you think he just flinched. “I figured it out. You’re not sneaky.”
“You say that, but…”
“Wade, I don’t care. And I mean that kindly! Really, it doesn’t bother me.”
Wade starts pacing in front of you, nearly tripping on the leg of the bedpost, “Look, I appreciate the whole hero act you got going on here – really fits you good, you should totally quit your day job – but you don’t have to force yourself, I–”
“Wade, you either confront your insecurities head on or I’m not doing this with you. I told you what I think, the only person who’s going to worry about how you look here is you. We either have sex with a light on or not at all, okay?”
No one speaks for a few seconds once you finish saying your piece, and you cringe, realizing how forceful you must have come off. You’re about to speak up again to apologize when you hear a shudder-filled exhale from a few feet away.
“Jesus H. Christ,” he groans. “You’re so hot when you're putting people in their place.”
Your lips curl into a shaky smile, “Yeah, what else do you think is hot?”
And you can practically hear the gears turning in his head from here.
…
It’s actually happening. No fucking way he didn’t dream this up. But you were pretty adamant about him getting his head in the game in order for you guys to actually get down and dirty, so for you, he tries to keep his train of thought as focused as possible– a big ask.
“Bossing anyone – everyone, especially me – around. You using your abilities–” you reach over and find Wade’s hand before running your fingers up his arm. “Shit, umm, using your abilities in general, but, umm, I really like when I’m there.”
“Oh?” you giggle. “When you get to watch, or?”
“When I get to feel.”
Your hand moves over to the nape of his neck, reaching under his hood and mask, to rub at his rough skin. Wade’s nerves light on fire as he waits for you to respond– for some reason, it never feels like your words come out fast enough.
“You got a thing for pain, Wilson?”
He chuckles, “You’d be surprised.”
“Okay, but are you sure? I can try, but it might not be all that good for you.”
“Don’t worry,” he thinks back to all those times he had a hard on while the two of you were fighting together. “It’ll be great for me.”
You hum, “Alright, then, but you tell me to stop the second you don’t like something, okay?”
“Aye, aye, captain,” he salutes, though you probably can’t see it. “And, same goes for you.”
“What a gentleman, letting me destroy him and giving me an out.”
He’s blushing something furious and he’s never been more grateful for the dark, “Anything for you.”
Those are the last words he whispers before he begins undressing. He knows you probably meant for him to strip with the light on, but he’s really not so sure he could stomach being looked at like a bug under a microscope. The attention, while electrifying, was already starting to get to him, so he lets himself stay in his comfort zone a little longer. As a treat.
Once his sweats are off, he hesitantly peels off his mask before slipping into bed, keeping most of his body under the covers. After shutting his eyes, he clicks the lamplight on.
You’re not saying anything. That’s– a sign? A good one, a bad one, Wade doesn’t know. He’s trying so hard to keep his breathing steady, but he can feel his body start shaking all on its own.
You join him on the bed, kneeling next to him, before your warm breath falls across his cheeks as you kiss his forehead. Only then does he open his eyes, and you reward him by cupping his cheek in your hand.
“There,” you say. “Wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Wade gets the strong urge to snort, and so he does, but your eyes narrow. There’s a soft scratching at the back of his skull as you snake your hand over, and quickly you dig your nails in slightly. Wade has to bite his tongue to keep the noise in.
“I’m sorry, is that funny to you?”
“No!” he whispers sharply as you bring your hand down to scratch along the line of his neck.
“Good, seems like you’re learning.”
You kiss him, teeth clacking together at first before Wade melts into it. Your hand is still slowly exploring his body, running along the line of his shoulder and towards his upper arm. When you reach his bicep, you very obviously squeeze the muscle there, and you let out a pleased sigh as you begin groping in earnest.
He wants to turn to hide his face in the pillow, not sure how to react to all the positive attention and appreciation, but you catch him trying to turn away, and you kiss him deeper.
While one hand begins to explore his pecs and abs, your other hand scratches down his v-line, softly caressing the skin of his inner thighs before moving around to squeeze his ass.
Wade rewards you with a small whine, and you carefully trail a finger down his dick. You move in to whisper in his ear, “You’re so hot, I’m not forgiving you for hiding for so long.”
Trying to stifle the embarrassing moan that he knows will come out, he bites down on his lip hard, but you take the hand not teasing his cock to gently pry his lip away.
“From now on, I get to hear you, okay?” you say and Wade nods rapidly.
You take the moment you wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and after giving him a second to ready himself, you ask, “I’m going to use it now. Tell me if you want to stop.”
“Okay–” he responds before he feels the sweet sensation of you jerking him off coupled with your power. It’s a humming, dull feeling of pain resting in the background– almost like the sensation of being choked except it’s affecting his entire body. Wade feels like there’s a weight pinning down each of his limbs and it’s so freeing– so relaxing.
He sighs and turns his head to the side, letting out a deep moan when you up the pace of your hand and bring the other to fondle his balls.
“How is it?” you ask, sweat dripping down your brow at trying to control your ability. Sure, it’s powerful and at times pretty horrifying, but Wade always loved how he was essentially immune. At the same rate you could destroy the flesh around you, he could heal his own right back. Just knowing that made him feel good, somehow, like he was made perfectly for you.
“It’s good– so good, I–” he nearly shouts, forgetting about the neighbors.
“Yeah, baby? What do you need?”
At hearing the pet name, he straight up whines as he tries to bury his hands in the sheets instead of his own thighs.
“Not sure, umm, a little more–”
And he doesn’t know which god he has to thank for putting you on this planet, but he’s willing to pay them all a visit. You read him like he’s not some mess, some walking disaster nobody bothers paying attention to, and you give him what you know he needs.
From the base of his chin, you drag your hand in a deep scratch across his neck, chest, and stomach, your eyes watching the pink lines blend in with his scarred skin. It’s a flashing pain, sharp like being scalded and it feels so good mixed with the blunt feel of being under your power.
“I’m gonna–” he says, and of course, you seem to already know. He cums with a deep grunt, rutting his hips into your fist before he thrusts his head forward to kiss you again.
As soon as he comes down, he pulls away only slightly, just so he can say what he’s been wanting to say since he met you.
“Thank–”
You cut him off with another kiss, because sometimes, he really does need to shut up.
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