#I was like. visibly upset
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Today’s show was a little :/ but I learned a LOT
#I was like. visibly upset#(even tho my skit was the best one but also. that wasn’t saying much)#I got so in my HEAD cause I invited people. and then#Marie sat me down afterward and was like GIRL I do this for a living#and I promise u I have been in much much much worse shows before#and she was actually really sweet#she said I was super funny and had been that way since pretty early on#and that I picked up stuff really quick and was light years ahead of most people#and I’ve been worried about being too combative and she was like girl don’t change any thing about yourself#I keep. getting that advice from 40-50 year olds lol#which I appreciate#they all say that most people are not this Sure of themselves at this age (but also I’m NOT SURE OF MYSELF. I just happen to have very#strong opinions. and no issue expressing them) and apparently that’s not Normal#but is helpful#anyways#all of us hung out for like. five hours afterward and it was nice!#I like having this group of friends that’s Different from work friends#I need to join more Things#but seriously I love improv and improv adjacent people so much#they’re all so funny and absolutely FASCINATING#and they’re all trying to get me to give them tours of **** lmao#I am going to soon but it’s funny people I never met came up to me and went you work WHERE give me a tour NOW#anyways. I’m 23#Marie put her head in her hands after I mentioned that#she was like I was a HOT MESS at 23 ur doing so fine#and I am. I’m being Brave and altho I’m not great at being Normal maybe I don’t absolutely have to be
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jim being canonically the shortest one of the triumvirate is genuinely so important to me lmao, like yesssssss, let that beefy babe be shorter than both his boyfriends!!!!
#james t kirk#star trek#star trek tos#st:tos#it's me and i against the tide of ppl shrinking bones lmaooo. which is fine obviously whatever makes ppl happy - go forth & shrink the doc!#but jim canonically being the shortest.......i love it so much.......he absolutely lowkey has a chip on his shoulder about it.......#he is SO beefy and strong and can haul both his boyfriends around!!!! but it doesn't change the fact that he's shorter <33333333#it's only like an inch difference between him and bones but jim hates it!!! and also pretends he doesn't hate it <3333#jim kirk my beloved!!!!!!!!!!!#there's some casual comment made about it and then *six hours* later jim is like 'AND FOR THE RECORD I AM *BARELY* SHORTER THAN YOU'#and bones is just '............what? where is this coming from???? and jim's like 'THAT REMARK THE PRIESTESS MADE SIX HOURS AGO'#and bones is just '..........when we're no longer in the middle of a firefight we should probably talk about this and why you're so upset'#'in the meantime though can we please get out of this firefight because i don't wanna die'#spock; SUPER helpfully: and as the doctor is taller than you captain he does make a more visible target#bones; scrubbing his hand across his face: SPOCK YOU'RE NOT HELPING#spock: .....i did not realize you expected me to#mcspirk
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft.
— Tender Curiosities, Baby! @otrtbs
#tender curiosities baby#art heist baby#james potter fanart#james potter#jegulus#rosekiller#rosekiller fanart#marauders#marauders fanart#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#jegulus fanart#jegulus fanfiction#fic: ahb#art heist baby!#mine#my art#hp#ahb#ive thought about this scene for so long it just took me forever to draw cause once again the anatomy of cars is the bane of my existence#like originally i wanted evan and barty holding hands to be visible to have the contrast of sad lonely james and sad not lonely rosekiller#but alas cars wont allow it#ahb just still has my entire heart you dont get it#i have a none blurry rosekiller and a just james in front of blue with stars version of this but i think ill only put them on insta...#(sneaky end notes: i do have to admit i am not too pleased with evan and barty but this was my first time drawing them)#(so i couldnt figure it out quite yet hency why they look a little. less efforty...)#(also the snake ring is the same design that i drew for chapter 34 of ahb in my little chapter illustrations for my typeset)#((nvm i just checked back and i am fully lying here i used a different one for my typeset and now im vaguely upset oops)#(i shouldnt make decisions only half awake im going to think about this for too long now i am sad))#((like suddenly i was like. hold up. i had a different design there didnt i... it was an open ring goddamnit))
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#kirby#plushies#kirbear#cake#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#this is directly referenced from an actual photo of my room#I had to add in cake and kirbear even though the bears they're based on weren't visible in the photo!#(they are directly based off bears I do have tho)#I'm very sick and it's upsetting and stressful and I do have many stuffed animals but I think I deserve another one.#since my wife is out of town for work for the next few years I get to fill her side of the bed with stuffed animals :)#(they're also like. legitimately good for my health. I can prop myself up more comfortably without hurting my joints.)#(it's the only way I can sleep when it gets really bad is draped over that giant orange squid I made.)#(I have more than what's pictured here ofc this is only one corner of my room/bed lol)#favorites
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ppl will say “i hate being seen with you in public because you stand funny and wear your headphones all the time and talk too loud” and then get all defensive when you say thats ableist
#ppl being my sister#like explain to me again how thinking my visible autistic traits are inherently embarrassing is not ableist?#she also said that autistic people in general are annoying#again while getting upset when i said that was ableist#i even word it really carefully so she cant accuse me of saying that she is ableist#but no the girl is just aggressively against admitting she has any kind of bias at all ever#autism#actually autistic#autistic#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#adhd#autism/adhd#actuallyautistic#actually adhd#neurodivergence#autistic experiences#tw ableism
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I realized the other day that a big reason you feel the desire to grow up quicker as a child is because you want to be treated like an actual person with thoughts, feelings, and bodily autonomy like adults get to.
#you're alright#puffer talks#especially being raised as a girl#my parents were not terribly guilty of this but it happened with so mant adults#that my feelings were seen as silly or not important#just think of how ridiculous and rude it would be to treat an adult like how we treat children#if i fell down and someone kept telling me i would punch them in the face#or telling someone they're fine when they're visibly upset#or dictating when an adult can go to the bathroom#i hate when adults purposely upset a child because it is seen as funny
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ARTHUR: Well, he's been different, you know, since the war ...
#seriously.#peaky blinders#peakyblindersgifs#tvedit#tv#you sort of forget how terrifying he was#but i really like how despite arthur trying to get in on the jokes and how well it works for sr to turn him into his accomplice here#he's still visibly afraid of him throughout their interactions#'like' well it's upsetting to watch but the acting was very good#that face he makes before he says the line about tommy though that was such a deliberate dig lmao
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Not looking forward to the “hey some disabled people really would want the option of a miracle cure and might not consider a disabled character being cured an inherently ableist concept but also yes there is a pre-existing troubling and pervasive trend around how disabled characters being cured is handled in fiction” discussion to be had over Daniel in s3 bc nobody can ever be chill and normal about it
#personally I think it would be cool if he still had parkinsons symptoms#but I’m also not about to like. crucify anyone if he doesn’t#it sucks honesty to even act like he’s somehow Not Disabled just bc he doesn’t have visible symptoms anymore#I can understand Why it be upsetting to see those erased ofc#but it’s not like he’s suddenly not a disabled character.#he is in fact still an addict and also has completely new and unfamiliar physical limitations to adjust to#I think there is in fact still more than one way to do justice to a storyline about disability w him#iwtv tv
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by the way i just wanna make sure it's clear that i would 100% rather have my RSD triggered than have someone let me make them uncomfortable to protect my feelings. my disproportionate emotional response is not your responsibility. i dont want people to feel uncomfortable or upset because of me. me having ADHD and being sensitive is not an excuse for me to hurt you
#this isnt about anything in particular#i just remembered a post i saw recently where someone was talking about people using rsd as an excuse to make people let them do whatever#i wanna make sure it's clear that when i mention rsd#it's from a place of 'i would appreciate if you clarify that you dont hate me for doing something that annoyed you/upset you/made you mad'#and not 'never ever tell me to knock it off and never ever be visibly annoyed by me'#i can handle people being mad or annoyed at me#sometimes i just need to hear that like. i didnt ruin a friendship/it isnt forever/they dont hate me now#and id much rather be temporarily upset than lose a friend because they felt like they couldnt tell me i was doing something wrong#and then got fed up with me continuing to do the thing yknow
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very terrifying message to receive from someone who said they just outlined something that will make Me Specifically very upset
#i am still her best friend in her phone i am just visibly shaking like a chihuahua#left out in the rain#positively quaking. i’m so upset. i love her giant brain. i’m so upset. it’s so good. i’m so upset.
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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
↳ moments that make me cry
#PATERNAL RELATIONSHIPS. GUARANTEED TO MAKE ME SOB.#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#frank reynolds#mac mcdonald#charlie kelly#ada's gifs#ada speaks#dennis holding brian jr makes me. full on cry.#the way he goes from awkwardly holding him & trying to play it off like he doesn't care. nervous laugh and a glance back at mandy.#'am i doing it right?' i'm not fit to be a father. this is completely foreign to me.#tips his head against his son's. clenches his jaw. tries so hard not to cry with everyone standing there watching. hugs him closer.#says he's done saying goodbye and then backs away with a look of visible upset when mandy tries to take brian jr from him.#and. dennis kissing frank. at first going to hug him but deciding against it. too intimate. too much commitment.#and again... 'am i doing it right?' is this is how sons are supposed to act with their fathers? ''was that okay to do?''#charlie just wanting someone to be there for him. to care for him. to care *about* him.#and frank. who caused immense damage to dennis in the short stints when he was actually around. but *was* around.#frank makes everyone realize that they are what charlie needs right now. that they all love charlie.#dennis. who is grateful for frank having been there. as abusive and selfish as he may have been. dennis took that and closed himself off.#taught himself to guard against it. shut off his feelings. prioritize himself above all else. he's Strong because of frank's neglect.#incredibly damaged. unhappy. but Strong.#because the ones who are supposed to care about you most in the world just don't. YOU have to care about you. that's how frank lived too.#charlie has chosen to avoid his entire life.#and now he's been forced to confront it all. he'd been content not knowing if frank was his biological father.#he had a father figure who cared for him. and he wasn't around because he didn't know charlie was alive. he thought bonnie aborted him.#but the reality of it all is that charlie's biological father avoided too. he knew charlie was his son. he spoke to him and *lied* to him.#and just as soon as they reconnect and have a chance to make up forty years of lost time#he dies. he fucking dies. and leaves charlie alone again. to carry him up a goddamn mountain by himself. shouldering this grief and anger.#charlie can't be selfish. he isn't allowed to now. because his dad died and left him one last task. he still doesn't want to let him down.
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florian : i need a beautiful boy to comfort me i did very badly at ogre oustin' today
carmine : good fucking luck even getting a guy to look at you after today
#this popped into my head after i thought about how much i sucked shit at that mini game#i like to think that florian would also be terrible at it#the only time he actually gets visibly upset over losing is when he loses to carmine at ogre oustin' during the festival of masks#and that's only bc he wanted to impress kieran after they cheered him on#pokemon#pkmn scarvio#trainer florian#rival carmine#chara : florian russel cavallari#chara : carmine hinoki#mj.txt
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14 years old, only like a month into being spider-man, peter takes down a mugger and the guy is cursing peter out and peter just calmly says "i'm fourteen" and watches this dude have a crisis
"no you're not"
"i literally am. did you not hear my voice cracking every two seconds? pretty sure i only started going through puberty last week"
"you're lying"
"believe what you want"
"why would you tell me that if it's true"
"because no one will believe you and i think that's funny. also i want you to know that you just lost to a freshman in high school. even if you don't believe me, you can't prove that i'm lying. this is never going to leave your brain. i won the physical fight and now i'm playing with psychological warfare. and i called the cops. anyways, bye!"
mugger gets arrested and is like "no seriously i swear to god he was in these like red and blue pajamas and had a mask and goggles and he said he was fourteen and psychological warfare and-"
#idk if anyone else will be entertained by this but mcu peter being a little shit means the world to me#i mean lets be clear every single version of peter parker is a little shit#but mcu peter is painted as this innocent little fuckhead by a lot of the mcu fandom which like. sure yeah its fan content have fun with it#but personally peter's sass and attitude and anger problems are some of my favorite aspects of his character#“if you think about it this is really your fault” bro said that to TONY STARK to his FACE#he only backpedaled because tony was visibly upset by those words but dude was fully about to commit to that angle#peter (blaming himself; drowning in guilt): ya actually i did nothing wrong im 16 and its all ur fault so maybe calm the fuck down thanks
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Fuck this entire week oh my fucking godddd. This felt like a little trial. Hurdles to get through the last of Busy Season for the year.
This week:
I shut down my store's entire IT system while being guided through a troubleshoot and it took ~45 minutes to fix it
Rolled + landed on my ankle on my walk to work on Halloween. Had to limp into work.
On Halloween I also had to kick out an intoxicated dude on a bike who tried to serve himself water out of a crushed, grimy to-go cup by leaning his entire body over the bar after going to the registers to ask ME for a cup of water. Left after telling me he has two no-trespassing orders from my store.
Had to hobble my way home because I had no way of getting a ride because my city closes down half the streets for Halloween.
Worked through my bruised and busted up ankle for ~3 days while another coworker called out to. Probably catch up on school work.
Nearly cried at work like. Several. Times. Partially from overwhelm and confusion and now partially from pain.
Watched my boss feel immensely bad after seeing My Ouchie and then went home. (<- only for my fiancé to come in to pick me up and then when I wasn't there, tell my boss and coworker that I should have called out today which is. Correct.)
Now I'm really just sitting with my injured leg Up High and On Ice
I got to see some fireworks, dress up as Will Graham, my coworker gave me the last of her cigarettes, and I got to post fic though so. Not all bad. I guess.
#also dealt with so many people upset I didn't have Bathrooms/Chairs/Tables and wasn't in control of the city meters#guhhhhhhh I hate busy season#people are so needy I can't actually do anything or talk to anyone. my boss is at her worst.#I can't wait to do nothing but elevate my leg and then ice + heat it on and off. for like. three days.#all this to tell myself that I could probably do with some fucking cheering up#the sudden transition of feeling immensely overworked and under appreciated at work to injuring myself in a really visible way#and working thru it to the others' horror is. something. it's not good. but it's something.#it's what happens when you go through life being doubted about your illnesses/pains/etc.#you develop a higher pain tolerance (imo) and those people trust you less so you hide it and work through it.#and then normal people eventually see what you can Work Through and go 'holy shit hey don't fucking do that. why would you do that.'#why because every time I was in pain it was 'sure you are' until I just got good at working through the pain. simple as.
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ok i got a little emotional bc i have gotten so much better at putting on nail polish and it's 😭
#i used to be so fucking bad at it when i started last year#and it made me feel a little bad it was so frustrating and lowkey upsetting#bc it's already not easy to go out wearing nail polish as a transmasc person who doesn't “”pass“” super well#it was super difficult at first to not feel self conscious and like. uncomfortable with being gnc#and on top of that i SUCKED at it so it was like i'm going thru this nerve wracking thing and it doesn't even look good ????#but slowly i got both more comfortable going out wearing nail polish AND better at applying it#i've finally bought this like nail polish corrector pen thing a few weeks ago and i just painted my nails and barely needed to use it!!!#even my right hand looks good!!! i didn't mess up in any visible way!!!!#it's just. yeah it's silly but i'm proud of myself for this bc wearing nail polish feels really good for me it's very gender euphoria#so to have gotten better at the whole thing and so feeling less uncomfortable doing it! yes!!!!#it still hurts that i get misgendered even more when i wear it and i still sometimes get self conscious but. i deal with it bc i like#genuinely love having my nails painted <3#ok sorry i'll shut up. gender feelings are . so overwhelming sometimes#nico rambles
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