#tldr ​I am a terrible person who can’t get better because I’m stuck in a terrible situation and everything sucks basically

[zukkaoru]

Any tips for writing?

this is a very good question and i don't know that i have a good answer to it.

honestly my number one tip and the thing that keeps me writing is this:

write for yourself

write the things you want to write, even if you never end up sharing them! i have hundreds of google docs with things i've written for fun that will never see the light of day, whether bc i don't think they're good enough or because i don't think they're in-character enough or whatever. but i had fun writing them, and writing them made me a better writer

another thing to keep in mind is the idea of the sh*tty first draft. let yourself write something you think is absolute garbage, because you know what? it can be reworked later! you can edit bad writing, but you can't do anything with a blank page

specifically in terms of fanfiction: write for the characters and ships that inspire you. fandom is supposed to be fun! i've seen posts where people criticize the fans who only write for one ship, but like,, who cares? if you only ever find the inspiration and motivation to write for one specific ship or character, go for it. fan fiction is not your job, we're not getting paid for this, so write about the characters who inspire you. don't beat yourself up for feeling like everything you're writing is similar, because i can almost guarantee there's someone out there who will love that your stuff all has a similar feel to it

there is a lot of advice for writing i could give, and there's a lot of specifically craft-related advice out there, but i'm going to let you in on a secret: none of it will do anything for you if you don't just jump in and start writing at some point.

i've taken creative writing classes pretty much every year since i was a sophomore in high school. that's five years of creative writing (not including this year), and this semester is the first one where i've actually had to get a creative writing textbook. all of the advice on how to put the words on the page is so nuanced. no rule is going to work for every person, and really, when writing, rules are meant to be broken and played with. creative writing is creative. essays have rules, but creative writing is a type of art.

everything i've written comes from years of practice. if you go back to my earliest fics on ao3, they are nowhere near the quality of what i'm writing now, and i still am never completely satisfied with what i post. i have even older fics up, though i will not link them, and they're terrible. i have older fics i've deleted that were awful. but i had to write all of those to get to where i am today.

i went to a writing conference when i was in high school, and one of the speakers said something that has stuck with me ever since: writing is a lot like trying to translate a poem. you're trying to translate the language of your mind into actual words on a page, and it's never going to be 100% accurate, because something is always lost in translation. and that's okay! it's frustrating, and you'll probably never get the feelings in your mind accurately translated to words on a page, but being a writer isn't about perfecting the translation. it's about translating it as best as you can, and knowing that you're always going to be working to get it better.

so yeah, i don't really have a lot of great tips because most of any skill i might have comes from the fact that i simply cannot stop writing, and all that practice is good for improvement.

TLDR: write about what you want, don't feel like everything has to be perfect right away, and practice. and if you're still unsatisfied with what you've come up with, know that that's something every writer faces, and it doesn't mean what you have isn't good

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

QUESTION OF THE DAY #12: What is your opinion on theatre bootlegs? Spill as much or as little tea as you want.

MY ANSWER: it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to say there’s nothing good about them. i discovered a couple of my all time favorite shows through bootlegs, and when i was a high school/college-aged theatre nerd stuck in the midwest (which i still am, just a bit older now), they brought me a lot of comfort that i could relive my favorite shows again. that said, i can understand POVs re: they weren’t filmed with consent from the actors. however, actors who are speaking out against them need to realize that mainstream theatre needs to be made more accessible in one way or another for poor, disabled, and international theatre fans. tldr: bootlegs aren’t going to go away if celebrities disavow them, but theatre might be able to become more accessible if more of them talk on THAT instead of how evil bootlegs are.

SUMMARY OF ANSWERS: out of 41 responses: 21 were an enthusiastic heck yeah, 13 weren’t as enthusiastic but still along the lines of yeah i support them, 3 answers were like eh i can see both sides i guess/leaning towards no, and 4 people outright said nah bootlegs are not the answer. All the answers under the cut!

if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this.  

also: while i agree with much of what was said under the cut, i will not come out and say which ones i agree with and what i don’t. my opinion is above and that’s all you need to know about what i think. i do not necessarily condone or agree with anything below. okay, enjoy reading.

1. Anonymous said: I may not be the biggest fan, but I totally get why they exist and have watched a few when they pop up

2.  Anonymous said: for the qotd: bootlegs are godsends

3. Anonymous said: oh god i literally just went on a tangent on twitter just now but bootlegs good!!!! people willingly watch blurry footage of a show bcs they want to know what the show is like, want to experience it live. bway shows arent accessable for everyone (due to prices and distance) but ppl still want to know what its like performed on stage. bootlegs literally dont harm the community. ive seen poto boots, proshots and the tour yet id willingly pay 2 watch again. boots make theatre more accessable imo !!

4. Anonymous said: Boots are good to get a glimpse of different productions? Like even despite Proshots existing of certain musicals, I'd still be curious regarding other interpretations of it! And also besides this it definitely helps make shows accessable to people who physically cannot watch the show!

5. galactic-greens said: I truly see no harm in bootlegs as long as they are treated respectfully. While the creation and consumption is technically a crime, it by no means whatsoever makes you a bad person. It's essentially documenting theatre, and ensuring generations to come will be able to experience what could have been so fleeting. They maintain a community, and as long as NFT dates, masters, and general spread of bootlegs are respected then there really can be no problem. It's just a way to immortalize the art!

6. Anonymous said: On bootlegs: oftentimes they’re the only way someone could be able to see a show, because not everyone can afford the tickets or even the cost to just go to New York for a show. However, it should be acknowledged that filming obviously in the actors’ faces is pretty rude, but at the same time bootlegs at least give a chance for people like me to see shows I might never get to see otherwise.

7. Anonymous said: I love bootlegs because I don’t have the means to be able to travel to see shows or afford tickets, i also do theater and i feel like the point of the art is to share it as much as I can

8. Anonymous said: i've never seen a large-scale live show bc they are not accessible to me. bootlegs are amazing. truly glorious.

9.  Anonymous said: i understand that this is a rather unique experience, but i live in nyc, so bootlegs never measure up to the real thing for me. i know that this isn't something everyone can be lucky enough to say, but live theatre could never be captured in the form of a bootleg-- i don't even like released proshots as much as the real thing

10. Anonymous said: for me bootlegs are fine for those who can't see it live because of the price and they are living from another country though i know there are a lot of actors disagrees about it

11. Anonymous said: as someone who can't afford to go to a professional production of anything, absolutely gimme a bootleg. obviously I wouold prefer, like, a proshot of a show and I really hope that becomes more of the norm (I watched the Newsies proshot on Disney+ and had the happy wiggles for hours afterwards, and I can't wait for the Hamilton one to come out) but until that starts happening I'll take a bootleg any day.

12. Anonymous said: I like that it helps people get into fandoms/musicals that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise but I would prefer if theatres professionally films them.

13. maycombhoney said: they will be a part of theatre culture until live theatre is made accessible for more people

14. Anonymous said: bootlegs are great and until the theater community decides to produce pro-shots i’m all for them

15. zoueriemandzijnopmars said: I would personally feel kinda bad for watching bootlegs, because it won’t directly bring money to the people who worked on the show. I don’t judge people who do watch bootlegs though, because let’s face it, bootlegs are not a replacement for actually going to the theatre and it’s not gonna lose the creators actually money. It might even make them money, because people will listen to the album/buy tickets anyway when they can. I’d just personally be more comfortable watching a proshot

16. Anonymous said: I don't pretend bootlegs aren't stealing but whatever harm they do is abstract enough - and my decisions are drop-in-the-bucket enough - that I do it anyway

17. Anonymous said: I’m totally fine with bootlegs. I’ve watched so many of them that it wouldn’t be fair if I wasn’t. The fact is most people just aren’t able to see shows. Either they live too far away or they can’t afford it, and if this is the only way someone can experience a show, it’s better than never seeing it at all

18. Anonymous said: i think bootlegs are important for accessibility but i really wish more theatres would release proshots. i wouldn't even mind if it were after the broadway run or after the original cast is switched out, but i think it's valuable to have those recordings out during the run of the show to get more people interested and actually wanting to go out and see it. plus, if they're worried about money, they wouldn't *have* to be free. just cheaper than tickets and travel.

19. Anonymous said: about the question of the day, honestly i think bootlegs are fine as long as they're done respectfully and the filmers aren't distracting with it

20. locke-writes said: For the question of the day: If there’s absolutely no way I can see the show live or from a professional recording then I’m going to watch a bootleg. Theater should be more accessible and sometimes a bootleg is my only way to access a show. Having been part of film crews who have shot live theater I think a lot of the lack of pro recordings is the idea which that theater is difficult to record. It isn’t. Give me a pro shot show over a bootleg anyday but I’ll take what I can get

21. Anonymous said: My opinion on bootlegs is I prefer professional recordings ONLY because bootleg quality is terrible for my auditory processing problems and I hate the washed out quality. But since professional recordings are rare (unless you are, interestingly enough, Sight & Sound Theatre); for everyone else: BRING ON THE BOOTLEG! ~ Stripe Conlon

22. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are complicated! As a fan/consumer I think they’re okay, especially considering how inaccessible theatre is for people living in other countries, people who can’t afford to experience shows live, and disabled folks. But as someone who also performs, i understand that it can be distracting and legally complicated for actors who are trying to do their best and did not consent to being filmed that night. I just hope that pro shots will become more common.

23. penguinated said: Bootlegs are fine. They don't cost Broadway a thing since people will literally never not pay to see live shows (except during covid of course). and for many people, seeing a certain show with a certain cast will NEVER be possible, so what's the harm in watching the bootleg? The bootlegs aren't the problem, it's the inaccessibility of live theater, ESPECIALLY Broadway shows. If more things were available to stream (i.e. BroadwayHD) there wouldn't be a need for bootlegs. Bootleg away, imo.

24. Anonymous said: until theatre is made accessible to everyone and there is a proshot released for every show, bootlegs are absolutely necessary for the prosperity of theatre

25. Anonymous said: It's so sad that people think bootlegs are necessary! and it's even sadder that in a way they are. however, too many people use them as an excuse to not pursue alternate affordable alternatives for theatre (such as broadway hd, pursuing local shows including high school and college theatre, and utilizing legally free shows online). In addition, bootlegs absolutely CAN be unethically sourced- recordings of locally produced shows can get theaters in trouble and bankrupt them with legal fees. and if you're recording something from Broadway (which is fine imo usually), if you're actually making people PAY for your illegal recording, that's profiting off the work of others and is both very unethical and exploiting the very people many bootleggers claim to work for the benefit of. When it comes to bootlegs, it's one thing to pass around shows that have finished their runs on Broadway for free- but there's too much unethical and even HARMFUL bootleg behavior and it needs to stop.

26. Anonymous said: since Broadway is too rich and doesn't wanna spend money(for some reason) streaming their shows, then bootlegs are the only option.

27. Anonymous said: Theater is so inaccessible that bootlegs are necessary for a lot of people because with a lot of shows you can’t get a good idea of the show just from the soundtrack but people that share nft boots are assholes

28. Anonymous said: Bootlegs do more good than harm. Those against bootlegs are elitist and don't understand some people cant afford hundreds of dollars in theatre and plane tickets. Bootlegs make people crave the live experience more, a dark and shaky video with shit audio doesn't satiate the desire to see a show live. And if the show is closed all the more reason to watch a bootleg!

29. lynntjeeee said: Theatre bootlegs are amazing and are why there are fans. I live in a country with no musical theater (except the occasional sucky original production with a local celeb who can't sing) so if it not for bootlegs I wouldn't be able to watch any shows and wouldn't be a fan (thus not spending money on cast recordings, etc). People need to realise this, bootlegs do not harm the theater, in fact it only helps it. If there were official recordings, there would be many more fans (and thus more profit!)

30. Anonymous said: Opinion on bootlegs: They wouldn't be necessary if the theater industry would get with the times and release professional shots of their shows on streaming services/cable.

31. Anonymous said: I think that people are really overreacting about bootlegs. ESPECIALLY bootlegs if shows that have already closed- you may never get a chance to see that show! Ever! Now there’s an affordable and accessible way to see shows that people would kill and die for. It isn’t losing Broadway money, in fact it is bringing more people into the medium. Maybe if full proshots were more common I would feel differently, but since there is literally no other way, boots are fine.

32. Anonymous said: Bootleg opinion: just go absolutely hog wild. Fuck it. Be gay do crime.

33. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are one of the few things that are keeping me sane right now, plus the fact that not everyone has dat cash money to see the shows live, so yeah they're good stuff (as long as they are available online w/ at least vaguely good sound quality anyway 😆)

34. Anonymous said: I see it both ways. I can understand why those in the profession are against it; it’s their hard work that’s getting pirated. But I’m also poor. I have no access to theatre outside of cast albums and bootlegs. I don’t watch bootlegs because I personally feel guilty, but I will not and do not judge others if they do.

35. whatdoscissorsdo said: I think broadway bootlegs r okay?? eat the rich amirite

36. Anonymous said: I trade and watch bootlegs and don't plan on stopping, but I've recently realized that it must be super uncomfortable for actors to be filmed without their knowledge or consent, or just to have to have on their minds that they might be being recorded at any time in a performance. Like, I've happily watched Many™ Spring Awakening videos in the past year, but I doubt Alexandra Socha is that thrilled knowing there are videos up on YouTube of featuring her nude at age nineteen.

37. i-am-having-an-emotion said: they will remain a necessary evil until theater is more accessible to the masses. seeing real live theater is always better than a boot but literally like 95% of people can’t access live theater, especially at a broadway caliber, so like..... do The Poors not *deserve* theater??? what are we supposed to do BUT make bootlegs?

38. ope-okay said: bootlegs are blessings from heaven and no one can convince me otherwise

39. Anonymous said: I think it can really hype up the want for the musical. And a really good boot release can bring new creations to an otherwise small fandom. Personally I’m more interested in seeing the musicals I’ve seen boots of than the musicals I haven’t

40. Anonymous said: On the topic of bootlegs, I think they’re great but like especially for people who do not have the means to go see the shows during their runs, I feel like if you do have the means to go see the show you should do that instead

41. Anonymous said: I have a REALLY hard time with bootlegs. Because artists deserve to be paid for their work, and there are a whole host of copywriter issues that come with the mass production of a show. In addition though, I understand the anger you feel at not getting to see a show live, however there are so many resources available to help people get the idea of their favorite show even if they never see it. Honestly Wikipedia is my favorite resource, as often that has a full synopsis of the show. I’ll read that and then listen to the recording a bunch so I can understand the story and imagine what it may look like. A lot of shows put clips on YouTube, the Macy’s parade, the Tony Awards, NBC does a whole broadway week, there are so many ways that you can get glimpses into these shows without resorting to bootlegs (which at this point are still illegal) I’m not a supporter of the “theater must be seen live” idea. While I LOVE live theater (and as a performer I like feeding off an audience) but I’ve see shows with just proshots or just the movie version and they are still just as good. Unfortunately I think the only way we’re are going to make theater more accessible to audiences is through time. Bootlegs I think only make people less inclined to record shows and mass produce them. There are a whole lot of legal things that go into that as well. What I can say is what I’ve done. Read up on the show, watch all the clips you can, sometimes scripts are posted online maybe read those, listen to the album, look at pictures. It SUCKS that theater is exclusive, but bootlegs are not the solution.

let me repeat: if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this post.

[mvssmallow]

hi q, thank you again for your works. they've been great company during this time of unrest. i know it's been awhile but would you have tips or suggestions to aspiring writers in the fandom? your world building is honestly amazing, as well as the characterization. hope you've been well.

I’m still trying to figure out how to write myself, Anon. But yes, I do have some tips for writing in general:

1) Write what you feel strongly about. This is the most important. I can always read the author’s apathetic mood and I can often see when fics/stories are just performative. I can tell when an author is really passionate or invested in their stories and it makes me more likely to go on the ride with them. 

2) Draw from your own experience, it is often the most convincing. Don’t plagiarise or write an autobiography (unless that’s what you want to do) but rather, reflect on your past experiences, how you felt during that time, what happened, how others responded. For example, unless written very well, how likely is it that someone confesses to another person in 24 hours? How realistic is it that people say sorry and everything is perfect 2 seconds later? I get that fiction is fake and this is all for fun but if you want to be good, at least try to give your story a degree of plausibility. TLDR: write what you know.

3) Research. If you want to explore new concepts, new AUs, new themes, then research is vital. You don’t need to study thermonuclear physics to write a science AU but read Wiki or watch a YT video on it. Imagination is a wonderful thing but your story is more rich and satisfying when you have some understanding of what you’re writing. Readers can tell. They might not ever say it but good research and knowledge makes a big difference. It also tells the reader: this writer put effort into this, they care about it. It makes it worth their time.

4) Plan. I’ve heard this is a good idea. Haha. I don’t do it very well but it is good to have even a vague idea of where you want your story to go. What you want a chapter to say. What is the purpose of this chapter? How did it build on the last one? How does it set up for the next one? Is there consistent continuity? You might not always know the exact ending but it’s important you know what you want it to say to the reader. I actually write the ending first/early and go backwards but please, for the love of God and Anime, don’t ever take me as an example of good writing methods. I’m all madness and chaos.

5) Edit. Whether you do it yourself or get someone else to, editing is crucial. If a passage or scene does not add anything to your story or characterisation, delete it. I go a little beyond this because when I start a draft, if it doesn’t flow then I start again. I’m notoriously for deleting entire chapters. It’s only when I have a decent completed draft that I do a final edit for typos/grammar/flow etc. Listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it’d probably not right. Some people just want to read/write words on a page but if you want to be a good writer who genuinely wants to improve their craft, then I think you need to be honest, cutthroat and discerning with your work. I am not precious with my drafts. Sometimes you gotta let go of stuff that doesn’t work. If you like a certain phrase or line then jot that down somewhere for later but yeah, I always tell people do start fresh every time. It forces you to be better. 

6) Motivation and when you’re stuck in a rut. In Life, there’s no substitute for experience but failing that, there are always movies and other books to immerse yourself in if you get stuck in a rut. Reading widely helps you write. I always go back to reading when I can’t write anything. Be open to what the World wants to give you. Music and photography are usually the biggest help but everyone is different. I have certain playlists for certain moods and I often put them on when I am writing chapters with similar themes. Personally, I find talking to other people the biggest inspiration these days. It’s good to bounce ideas off people so if you have someone you trust or enjoy talking to, use them! Haha. 

7) Believe in yourself and just write. Even if it’s terrible, just write. Sometimes I sit there and type on notes on my phone and before I know it, I’ve written a new CWAC chapter. It might not be good but it might lead to somewhere better. Sometimes you need to write a total fail-chapter before you can see what’s wrong. Mistakes are much more helpful to your progress than perfect success imo. 

8) Reading and Writing a Movie. This is probably my biggest tip tbh. Every writer has a style that’s unique and influenced by their life so you have to discover your own. I always wanted to write a screenplay so when I watch movies, that’s how I notice things: What do people say. What is their tone. How long is the pause. What camera angle is effective. How’s the lighting. What music is playing in the background. What are they wearing. I picture a whole complete scene in my head as if I’m going to film it, then I write it. I use this method for 100% of CWAC. That’s why there’s so much detail. Details are magic to me but I don’t know if everyone thinks that hahaha. 

Okay that’s enough I guess. There are plenty more but these are the main ones I can think of. 

[fivebrights]

the joko discourse is bumming me out because it feels like some genuinely excellent storytelling is, as a consequence, being overlooked

Full disclosure: I enjoy(ed) the “Praise Joko” meme in the sense that it is/was satirical. It’s always been obvious Joko is p terrible, yet Daybreak still slapped me in the face hard. It was upsetting. It made me uncomfortable. It made me stop laughing. And I love it for that.

TLDR; The writing team set us up brilliantly (lured us into overlooking Joko's horrors in favor of his absurdities, even though those horrors were never hidden) and now we've rightfully been had (+ some general praise for how anet’s improved their characterization of antagonists/story pacing/narrative buildup). Spoilers ahead:

Seriously. We were set up brilliantly. Outside the Bone Wall, we get an unfiltered view of the horrors Joko inflicts on the Elonian people. There's no doubt this is an atrocious tyrant we're dealing with. But then we get to Vabbi, and we’re given two months to fall under its spell, to normalize us to its myriad absurdities. The larger-than-life statues, the laughable lies being taught as "history," the people who seem genuinely devoted to Joko. I think most players never quite lose sight of the lie, but everything's so over the top and "quaint" it's hard to take seriously. ("Praise Joko!") Even for those who don't have context for Joko from GW1 (and the general consensus seems to be he was a bit more hammy then), Joko is so clearly full of himself it all (misleadingly) diminishes his threat.

In retrospect, too, our face-to-face introduction with him underscores this. I think it was absolutely critical that we first encounter Joko when he's in a state of powerlessness. There he is, in his cage and alternating between preening and hissing threats...but we know he got himself stuck there, and we know better than to take his offers. Of course we're smug. Of course we laugh. I don't think there was any doubt in players' minds that Joko would try to make good on his threats, but it was like... "I'd like to see you try, Palawa. So long!"

I really appreciate that story followed up with him right away with Daybreak. (GW2 has often been plagued with jumping around with story threads and/or leaving them incomplete for too long.) POF has been the strongest, staying on course with the main threat (Balthazar) while quietly setting up pathways for the next Big Threat. To have that payoff already unfolding - without rushing; I think it was perfect to just have no actual appearance by Joko, just a few lines - is so satisfying. I can't tell if we're chasing Joko or if he's chasing us. Probably both.

The bread crumb trail left for us to realize Joko was back was fantastically done. We know with Balthazar gone, Joko SHOULD be free (and the line that hints at that in POF sidestepped both the pitfalls of 'easily missed' and 'we're hitting you over the head with it'), but our character doesn't confirm it so we're left to wonder. Then we go to a region that hasn't seen Joko for even longer than on the mainland, so when we hear "someone CLAIMING to be Joko" we feel more suspicious, but again, we can't be sure. We weren’t just handed a confirmation, and the information we were given in Daybreak was in line with what the player characters and the NPCs would logically know. GW2 is seeing more and more effective "showing" over "telling" and it makes me really happy.

I was (and still am) hyped for Joko. But when his voice came through on that comm, I'm not exaggerating when I say I felt the blood drain from my face. I love that we got stuck in a boss fight immediately after, and couldn't answer Taimi right away because of it. I've honestly never tried to kill a boss so fast before, because - short of an actual timer counting down - time truly felt of the essence. My character and I emotionally felt very in sync this patch. The last two instances were genuinely upsetting, but in that good way high quality storytelling does. (Joko got close to crossing a creepiness line imo but Anet seems to see that line and is staying behind it so, good.) Despite the conflation that comes with discourse, I’d say very few people are genuinely laughing about Joko now.

Personally, among all the antagonists we've been through - Zhaitan, Scarlet, Mordremoth, Balthazar - this is the first time I've felt really threatened by one. Scared of one. Ready to take REVENGE on one. Joko is nuanced and compelling, and even when I expected him to make a move, he still managed to put one over me. The fact that there has been such a strong emotional reaction to what he’s done in Daybreak is, to me, a good sign--even if the drowning cascade of discourse that’s followed isn’t quite so much.

[janiedean]

Do you think Sansa is knowingly poisoning Sweetrobin? I've seen a few well-known blogs making the argument that she's doing it on purpose but I'm not convinced. I don't think she understands how dangerous sweetsleep is. For reference: bluetheon(.)tumblr(.)com/post/165242694491/maidenoftheforestlight-alayne-stonecoldfox and I just saw another pretty popular blog say that she is willingly poisoning him too which bugged me so I thought I'd ask what you think. It's just so unlike Sansa. :/

now, given that I haven’t read anything from TWOW except the theon chapter because I’m weak like that but like I don’t want to form ideas based on pre-released chapters that might or might not get changed when they’re published, so like I’ve just read up what’s in that meta, and like... I think she’s aware on a subconscious level but hasn’t really realized it yet, but that at the same time it ties into a larger theme as in ‘grrm is making the stark children go through a lot of very dark shit and is putting in question a lot of things we should have assumed’. I had written something about it once let me see if I can find it, but anyway, basic background of my Large Starks Theory: they started out as the heroes and they will end up as the heroes, but right now they’re all going through a morally gray/morally questionable moment/phase while the Lannisters are also being turned on their head except for cersei - I mean cersei’s always been herself except she gets more bonkers with time, but tyrion started as a sympathetic figure who had to be on the villain side and now he’s going over to another hero side, jaime started out as OMG SO TERRIBLE (to the not-in-depth-read anyway) and now he’s turning out as one of the people in the series with the most sensed views about anything + one of the few reliable narrators when it doesn’t concern his feelings about being like cersei in asos + a fairly decent guy all things considered. Like, we started with good starks and bad lannisters and now we are with grey starks and getting-better lannisters and we’ll end with good starks and two good-ish lannisters on three. Now, what I mean with the starks are going through their morally gray phase, if I can find that post I made a while ago gdi I can’t find it AH WELL:

arya is training at an assassins’ school where the basic point of it is killing people after renouncing your identity

bran is turning into the westeros big brother pretty much and while I don’t think that in the show they realized that it probably will not turn him into a robot who sends meera off without so much a thank you, I’m 99% sure they weren’t making it up with hodor and like... he’s younger than twelve. that’s a lot of power. on top of that he had done exactly all the things varamyr said in the adwd prologue that wargers should not do (ie warging into people, eating meat while in an animal and I can’t remember the third but back when I checked, he did that as well), that’s not kindergarten material

rickon is being pretty much literally raised by wolves/wildlings on an island known because there’s cannibals on it and he hasn’t seen his family since he was four, as much as osha can be a good influence the moment he goes back to civilization manderly is going to be very wtf at least

jon has died and will come back to life which is most probably going to leave him fairly more traumatized than in the show and his entire arc in adwd was about how he has to do a lot of things that he’d have previously found despicable because he’s a lord commander and he has a duty (do we remember the whole deal with gilly’s baby?)

catelyn is a zombie who only wants revenge and she’s so past morally gray, she’s turned into riverlands!aerys which is why I’m putting my money on brienne killing her to save jaime but never mind that

and lastly.. sansa is stuck with LF who’s using her in his ploys while��also being a total creep with her and who wants to marry her because he was in love with her mother (yikes) and who’s made her at least complicit in the whole sweetsleep scheme, which is what would put her in the morally gray column for now

now, I do think she doesn’t realize the extent of what she’s doing and that from what it looks like in the preview chapter she seems very immersed in her alayne part - I mean, again I haven’t read that, but looking at the quotes in that meta,

She put a finger to his lips. “I know what you want, but it cannot be. I am no fit wife for you. I am bastard born.”“I don’t care. I love you best of anyone.”You are such a little fool.

+

Maester Colemon cares only for the boy, though. Father and I have larger concerns.

now, idk the context, but that doesn’t sound like sansa to me, that sounds like how alayne should sound, but like... that’s the point, that’s not sansa. that’s sansa at her lowest point while she’s being made complicit in the scheme, but who doesn’t fully realize the extent of it yet I think - the second person has a point when it says that LF is also building this so he can frame her but he won’t get his way, most probably because that person is not sansa and sansa wouldn’t do that, so the moment she actually realizes it and puts two and two together she’ll stop it or do something to change the tide. like, LF has to die and he most probably will because he underestimated her (also as the other meta-er said I’m 99% sure she’s gonna run into brienne and jaime so there’s that too), but sansa has to go through the ‘what the fuck are you doing this is wrong WHAT’ moment because that’s what... all of her living family is doing.

I don’t think she can’t know at all because I mean, she’s not an idiot and those conversations with the maester plus LF laying his plan down are fairly obvious - anyone would put two and two together and I think she has but she just doesn’t want to admit it, which is why I’m midway - I don’t think she willingly is doing it but I think she knows she’s doing it on some level.

mind that I think it might go like this also because grrm already did all of that with theon - in adwd if you start from reek you see him knowing things but apparently denying them in the pov/trying to not think about them/saying or thinking the things reek should say or think or do same as sansa is doing above with alayne - a lot of shit theon does/says/thinks in reek 1, 2 and 3 is not him, it’s what he thinks he has to be in order to survive ramsay and like, the concept is exactly the same, but the more adwd went on the more he was forced to realize that he was not reek, he could not be reek and he didn’t want to be reek, and like... he knew that jeyne was jeyne and not arya, he tried to ignore it as long as he could, he knew what was happening to her and tried to block it out, he couldn’t, the moment he puts two and two together and realizes where he went wrong/who he wants to be/what he wants to do with his life and his choices, the first thing he does is saving her hide. it’s the exact same pattern except that we saw sansa going from sansa to alayne and we didn’t see theon going from theon to reek (THANK FUCK), but we’re going to see sansa to alayne to sansa again I think, and that includes her admitting to herself what the hell they’re doing and realizing it’s not who she wants to be or what she wants to be. which would put her back in the good guys camp, though with a lot less naivety I suppose, which is what I think is going on with all her siblings, so... yeah that’s what I got.

tldr: I think she knows what she’s doing on a very deep/subconscious level but doesn’t want to admit it and that she will have to and that it’s part of her family’s overall arc as ‘go from good guys to morally gray and then back to good’ and in order for her to be *properly* grey at least for that chunk of her arc she has to be aware of it on some level. obviously I don’t think it makes her a horrible person also because it was all LF’s ploy and she’s being manipulated/convinced into it by a fairly creepy guy who couldn’t care less about her well-being and only wants to marry her because he was in love with her damned mother so she’s also LF’s victim in all of this along with sweetrobin but it’s another level of it and I think that assuming she has no idea whatsoever.

btw meanwhile I did find that post where I discussed the thing so if you want the more in-depth version http://janiedean.tumblr.com/post/134282706508/hi-i-that-post-you-answered-about-theon-being XDD

[benedictmaxwell]

From your ask thing you reblogged, 3?

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

So tumblr mobile is a pos that doesn’t notify me when I get asks so THAT’S cool… Also Sarah is this you?? You use the same wording. I’m hearing this in your voice.

As for fandoms… let me roll up my sleeves here. Are we talking past and present? Because that list is LONG and I’m not sure (if this is Sarah) that you really want to know how much of a nerd I am.

Ok well it did indeed get #LONG so it’s going under a read more. Tldr: Kingdom Hearts, Vampire Knight, Yuri on Ice, Check Please, and Eerie Crests.

EDIT NOPE I guess those on android can’t open read mores?? So I deleted it YOU’RE WELCOME SARAH now everyone has to suffer through scrolling!!!

So Kingdom Hearts is my baby first and foremost. I identified a lot with Riku and also with Roxas, mostly bc Riku started out as a flat and sort of asshole character (which I most definitely am) and had to deal with darkness (HELLO anxiety and depression) overcoming him. He had to fight back and learn how to control it and also how to cope with his friends offering help and never QUITE being able to reach him. And Roxas was just… so used. So angry. He had no idea what was going on and all he DID know was that he was a pawn. Never supposed to exist. The people around him were fakes, his childhood was stolen. I have a lot of deep seated psychological trauma I’m trying to work through, can you tell?

That was two characters and the ask said one. Oops!

Omg let’s go WAY BACK to a manga called Vampire Knight. It was terrible. Truly awful. I loved it so much. There was this character named Zero and I had his tattoo literally inked onto my body when I was 16. I named me car after him. This is so embarrassing kill me. He was torn between where he was SUPPOSED to be in the world (elite vampire hunter anyone?) and where he WAS in the world (turned into a vampire by this conniving bitch who killed his entire family.) And the only thing that really kept him toeing the line was the overwhelming desire to protect the ones he loves most. How typical manga does this sound right now. Anyway, that desire to help family (for him, the love of his life/fellow prefect at the school Yuki and his adoptive father. For me, my sisters) kept me from killing myself on more than one occasion. It’s been so many years since I’ve even thought about that story LMAO

So currently. Let’s see. I’m a HUGE slut for gay skaters, as you can tell by my blog title. So Yuri on Ice. BRO. The way Victor hides his own psych issues behind that TOO obviously fake mask of oblivious joy and pushes Yuri to be happier, better, bigger than he was. The way he dropped everything for That Boy who he loved so immediately. He’s a goddamn martyr, and I identify so closely with that it’s honestly disgusting. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he felt lifeless before Yuri and that’s a huge reason why he ran away, but I understand all too well that hopeless question of “is there anything beyond this? Is this what I’m stuck doing for the rest of my days?” Also he’s super codependent with his dog and LET’S FACE IT SO AM I OKAY HE’S JUST SUCH A GOOD BOY. Also, people look up to him?? He’s afraid of letting people down?? I’m just projecting my insecurities onto a fictional character???

Check Please! I wish I could identify with Shitty in all honesty because bro is hilarious, charismatic, successful, talented, and also socially aware as much as he can be despite his privilege (which he is also aware of!) But. My son. The one and only Kent Parson. Poor child is dealing with so much. First love rejects you and ignores you and downplays the fact that you definitely had something going on? Been there, done that. It fucking sucked. CONSTANTLY facing the pressure of being better than your previous self, better than others, better than the past you’re STILL trying to leave behind but it follows you no matter what? Yup. That also fucking sucks. Dealing with a range of undiagnosed disorders and abandonment issues that were instilled upon you when you were vulnerable and pliant and young? I’m getting in too deep here. And one last thing: acting cavalier about it, putting on a front of smug, joking asshole? Being a bro and crying behind closed doors? Picking fights when your shit gets so heavy you have to unleash it on SOMEONE? 

Finally, let’s get into Eerie Crests, my newest baby but DEFINITELY NOT THE WEAKEST. I’m not sure if I can pick just one? They’re all such rounded, dented, wounded characters and a piece of each person individually speaks to me? Dallas hates himself and is dealing with major abandonment issues. He pushes Malek’s buttons even though he KNOWS it’s wrong and that he’s being irrational. Malek wants to better himself not FOR himself but for his family despite having faced hardship and loss. He plays cool and calm despite the absolute bullshit he’s going through at home. He’s constantly trying to help Dallas (and literally everyone else lbh) cope even though he himself is doing something he knows is bad for him and that his friends hate (smoking in his case, drinking in mine.)

Blake is bitter from his past relationship and needy. He needs validation and seems to lash out sometimes. Blake is me and I am him and I need MORE DEVELOPMENT BELL PLEASE GIVE ME EXTRAS FOR THIS CHILD. Poppy is exasperated and impatient and also SO GOOD at keeping secrets. She’s family/friend-oriented and also a wlw and she’s willing to follow her friend into the black woods where their other friend disappeared and was apparently murdered even though she doesn’t feel the same way (that he’s alive) but bc she trusts Dallas and doesn’t want to abandon him. THAT LOYALTY.

This somehow turned away from why I identify with her and what I look up to in her, but let’s be totally honest my crush on Poppy is REAL.

Anyway, that’s enough of an essay from me. I got carried away…

[angelicyourd]

Some words about CalExit

tldr I don’t agree with it. (this piece of writing is highly personal, mostly unedited, and informed by emotions, not facts. That’s where I’m at in case of CalExit.)

I am a native Californian. I was born in Sacramento on opening night of the 1991 California State Fair; there were fireworks outside the hospital window. My parents love this state. My mom moved here after growing up in the Great Smokey Mountains and thought THE SACRAMENTO VALLEY was paradise. My Dad has driven us hours out of our way just to see places that inspired Hitchcock films. I take after them. I think this state is a special place. I’ve seen waves crash up over the beach and onto the road, I’ve seen the beauty of Yosemite through the haze of massive wildfires, I’ve been stuck in traffic on the Grapevine for hours in the dead of night. I watched the Bay Area replace five miles of the Oakland Bay Bridge to better defend our infrastructure against earthquakes. I’ve heard musicians play at elevations of 8,200 feet in the middle of July against a backdrop of snow on the nearby mountaintops. I’ve slept on the pier in San Diego and remembered then that even in the heat of summer, miles from the Mexican border, it still gets fucking cold by the Pacific. I have crawled inside burned out redwoods and explored California Conservation Corps railway tunnels. A massive chunk is missing from the mountain across the American River from my hometown, due to a dam that never got built there. People run a hundred miles here for fun. Thanks to growing up in such an agriculturally rich area, Placer County is is the only place where the farmer’s market has met my ridiculous standards. My hometown was settled by French gold miners, my railroad was built by Chinese immigrants, and the Nisenan lived here long before anyone from Europe cared about California gold. I had to use Wikipedia to look up those facts because even though I attended k-12 school in this town, I don’t know enough about its history.

Are we an incredible state? Yes. I missed this state terribly for each day that I didn’t live here. Could we probably kick some weird ass if we split off from the rest of the US? Fuck yes. We’d still have Tahoe and Disneyland and Yosemite and agriculture and Berkeley and happy cows and Comic Con. But should we CalExit? FUCK no.

I’ve been privileged to travel around a lot of this country. I have lived in New York City and on Florida’s Gulf Coast. I once visited San Diego, Seattle, Portland Maine, and Orlando all in one year (Denver, too). On my mostly solo trip across the country in my station wagon, I passed up seeing Yellowstone and wound up taking a pit stop in Laramie, Wyoming, a town I only knew existed because of a hate crime that occurred there. I have chased thunderstorms in Sedona, Arizona. I have seen dolphins, manatees, stingrays, wild boars, and alligators in Central Florida (I also saw birds of prey carrying snakes there). I have seen raccoons in Bushwick and deer in Fort Tryon Park. In Oregon, I have seen herds of wild elk so beautiful that traffic stopped to quietly observe them. I have seen one bald eagle in my life (in Maine) and I kayaked right up to its tree.

I could go on, but fuck purple mountain majesty, let’s talk about the people. I attended college in New York, making friends from many states. I completed an internship in Florida, making friends from many more states. I love those people. I can’t think of anything poetic to say about them except that I love them a whole lot more than I love seeing wild boars or manatees. While it might be tempting to pack up our Golden State, design ourselves a new government, and sail into the west to go hang with Hawaii (Alaska can come too), it would mean leaving behind every other person who lives in every other incredible state. It would mean leaving them to this garbage fire of an administration. It would mean leaving our friends and neighbors to suffer and die under cruel and careless government. It would mean trying to make something good, but keeping it only for ourselves. THE WHOLE IDEA IS SELFISH, SHORT-SIGHTED, AND RIDICULOUS.

California is fucked up, too. My neighbor has a Trump sign and my representative is a Republican. My representative before him was also a Republican, and he was so shitty that he was featured in a Michael Moore film specifically for being shitty. California has 53 representatives and the nation has 435, so he was really, really shitty. We’ve got hate crimes and homelessness and EARTHQUAKES and FIRE and LOS ANGELES.

The idea of breaking our beautiful, fucked up state away from the rest of our beautiful, fucked up country makes me sick. We can’t leave our friends and neighbors to this mess. We can’t build a lifeboat with room for only us. Anyone seen Hitchcock’s Lifeboat? There isn’t enough water, people die, and there are Nazis. That’s exactly what will happen if we CalExit. May as well call it CaLifeboat. There’s no one out in the Pacific who’s going to rescue us. And Hitchcock was a disgusting letch, though a brilliant filmmaker. Thanks Dad. Brought that full circle, didn’t I?