#i’m a teenager in college.
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looking at f1 merch. tempted to buy some hoodies but they’re all expensive and i’m ✨unemployed✨
#i’m a teenager in college.#i applied for a job tho !!!!#everyone cheer#yeah but no my bank is crying#my apple music took money out today so.#HAHHAAHAHA#i also bought lights for my room.#and i went on a cvs shopping spree.#for candy#and red bull#and other lady products#if you will.#anyway.#i put more tags than anything. damn.
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“Hi, pretty !”
#leonardo hamato#leosagi#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#leochi#rise usagi#samurai rabbit#usagi chronicles#usagi yuichi#yuichi usagi#i’m so tired#finally on winter break! free from college momentarily!#surviving ! barely !#I am so so sosososo sorry for disappearing#I like using pretty as a nickname :}#I MISSED DRAWING THEM
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Red Tornado: You are all insane and I want to study you under a microscope so I’m your babysitter now
Robin:
Impulse:
Superboy: Hey what the fuck
#red tornado: I thought I had lost all of my humanity but you are so annoying I realize I do have a shred left#robin: I don’t know of I’m offended or not#impulse: why are you in our house#I started reading the ‘98 young justice comics and like I’m on the floor dying they are so funny like peak teenage boys (affectionate)#they are just in a cave with some snacks and sleeping bags like college kids in their first apartment#JLA you could give them a computer but not like a table and chairs??#young just us#young justice#yj98#yj#superboy#dc impulse#dc robin#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#bart allen#red tornado#dc incorrect quotes
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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live action Ninjago is truly the greatest Halloween jump scare
#like#this is happening???#Fr?#why did no one stop them?#Who thought it was a good idea?#It’s probably going to take a few years to release#I’ll be in College or maybe even graduated when this comes out#If they go the teenagers route they people they cast to play the ninja could be younger than me#The people they’ll cast as the ninja probably grew up watching the show with everyone else born from 2003-2010#if they make the ninja white or Nya not buff I will throw things#i’m freaking out#ninjago#lego ninjago#lego ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising
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hey um. did you know that shopping bags are little ghosts. of grocery stores. haunting everywhere else
#guess what i’m playing now that i’m a college dropout that’s returned to their decrepit old town#living with your parents basically means you’re a teenager again#let’s see if the catharsis works#nitw#jamie.txt
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If ya can’t project onto fictional people WHATS THE POINT 🗣️🗣️🗣️
#call me Michael Afton the way we both got parent issues#it’s mommy issues tho instead of daddy issues lol#manipulative bitch I mean whaaaat!!!#‘’you have sympathy for everybody but your mother’’ GIRL GET OUTTTTTAAA HERE#maybe it’s cuz you called me lazy and a coward at the height of me being a suicidal teenager <3#SORRY RANTING#personal#venting#I’ll delete this I’m just so mad bro#why do I come home for the summer from college. what was bro thinking!!#it’s cuz I love my brother and my dad and my doggies sm that’s why
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my crush on remus lupin always resurfaces during big life changes, what does that say about me?
#is it crazy that i loved him going into middle school and i still love him now going into college?#life goes on but i’m still here loving my moony#silly little thoughts#harry potter#remus lupin#marauders#just girly posts#it girl#manic pixie dream girl#just girly things#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#tumblr girls#girlhood#this is what makes us girls#this is a girlblog#girlblogger#pinterest girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog
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chat should I go to collage to be a marine biologist or mortician
#i rly wanna go to art school#but I don’t know what I would do with that degree#like I don’t really wanna be an animator#they have kinda shitty pay and work hours#so I think one of these would be more realistic#I still have a few years left before I go to college though#if I even get accepted in#I’m thinking about taking a gap year once I graduate though#like to try and get my shit together#embalmer could be cool too#but yeah#I like sharks so that would be cool to study#and mortician#from the research I’ve done you only need about 2 years of college#and it pays pretty decently#but it’s very emotionally taxing#if that doesn’t work out I’ll try to get a job at a music shop or something idk 😭#I love stressing over work even though I’ve never had a job and am still a teenager
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What if I wrote a Clarice Starling character analysis fic? what then?
#clarice starling#silence of the lambs#fanfic#thespookybean14#like I’ve been wanting to do it for awhile#I literally made a timeline of her story like three or four years ago at fifteen years old because I was thinking about it that much#also the dynamics with her mom??? the way she was sent to live with relatives at ten years old?#the way I know she probably felt so much guilt because she couldn’t look after her three siblings#also I get to analyze her summer job as a counselor at a rehab center before she became a trainee#I’m definitely going to be upset when I write that bit#you ever think about the fact she probably might still think about those kids she tried to help#also I get to analyze her relationship with her siblings too :(#by the way if anyone wants to see that timeline I’ll gladly dm you it#the way I’m also excited to discuss teenager and college Clarice fr#she’s such a comfort character to me#I swear I’ll shut up#spooky faves
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All I wanna do is draw Raph being a fag and Donnie getting abused by an adult for the millionth time and Leo being annoying and Mikey ending up the leader of a Yokai crime ring until he gets bored with it.
but I have fucking. Typography homework. Is this really the best society has to offer????
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god i’m so tired. it feels like my life has been a huge waste
#idk.#college was the one thing that kept me from killing myself through my entire childhood and teenage hood.#and now it feels like the entirety of it has been completely ruined#even the memories of the ‘good things’ from the past two years now make me wanna throw up#and the whole past year was just a fucking nightmare. all i can remember really is abuse and homelessness.#and going into this year im terrified and not sure if that terror will lessen at all throughout the whole year#like idk. the one hope that literally kept me alive has been absolutely completely sullied and ruined in my mind.#and my future feels so uncertain. i feel like my life isn’t even my own rn and i’m not hopeful for anything coming up#everything just feels hopeless and terrifying and useless.#i’m having trouble motivating myself to keep going#i used to say ‘just get to college just get to college’ but i don’t have that to point to anymore. i don’t have anything to point to anymore#i feel sick. idk#mine#personal
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#negativity cw#For all that I’m angsting about my parents potential divorce#I am glad it did not happen when I was a kid/teenager#Or young adult doing college at home#The conventional advice is don’t stay married for the kids they will resent you etc. etc.#but however much tension their fights might have caused#And however much my mom might have blamed me for being the cause of them#I’m glad I finished my school and moved out underneath one roof#Without having to deal with split homes and custody battles and all whatever else it might have entailed
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after two weeks of relative freedom regarding what i eat, when i eat, when i shower, when i go to bed, what i want to do with my time, etc etc, spending this next week in a hotel room with my parents is going to be fucking Rough
#they’ve already gotten nitpicky about my eating habits and how much time i spend in bed and how much i’ve been sleeping andoh my fucking god#like. we got out of the car and went up to the hotel and i immediately got in bed because i was cold as shit#and my mom immediately started fretting about how i’ll spend too much time in bed in college and how she worries about me taking care of#myself on my own despite my repeated explanation that i was literally just cold and looking for somewhere to pass the time#like. it’s appreciated but mom. mother. madre. it is slightly overbearing please ;-;#and goddd the fuckin comments about food are NOT helping#like hi mom! please for the love of god stop saying you’re terrified about what i’m going to eat when you’re not there to supervise!#i already managed to halfway starve myself UNDER your supervision without you knowing and i’m fine now but jesus christ it is not helping#when you’re constantly telling me that i can’t go eat something ‘because you don’t need it’ even though it’s my time money and body#just. AGH#i sound like a whiney teenager i know but god i am. just. two days back with them and i already need a break#tw ed#tw ed mention
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I suffered a mental break after writing like eighteen college essays and wrote the newest one about a bagel and I just call it college essay bagel and it haunts me but like objectively it’s funny because it’s about a bagel you know? And my English teacher is gonna throw a book at my head when she finally reads it
#I cannot handle the unbearable pressure of this patriarchal and capitalist system meant to grind all of us down into something palatable#the system wants to swallow me whole and goddamn if I won’t make myself poisonous#what do you mean the AP classes and perfect academic existence isn’t enough#i made this my whole life and now you tell me I cannot write of the pain I had to hide to do so#this is not writing#sorry y’all#I’m but a teenage girl who is simply going through it#like and I’m not even allowed to write about trauma on the essay what kind of bullshit is this#you say write about your life and damn if that isn’t mine#I’m a writer and an artist#you think I’m okay?#I’m gonna start a series of food related college essays
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ok yes it is great that there are only a few days left of school but it also sucks because i have very little time to do a lot of things i would avoid doing at nearly any cost but i have to do them or i might fuck up my chances of having a good life forever. (i know this is dramatic and untrue but that’s what it feels like)
#i feel like i might just give up now and take my chances on never having the opportunity to go to a good college#why should the rest of my life depend on the choices i make at 17 going on 18?#i know the answer is that it doesn’t entirely but i’m pretty sure it does at least somewhat#which sucks because teenagers are stupid#especially me#whacked seal posting#vent
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