#they are just in a cave with some snacks and sleeping bags like college kids in their first apartment

[ravenpureforever]

Red Tornado: You are all insane and I want to study you under a microscope so I’m your babysitter now

Robin:

Impulse:

Superboy: Hey what the fuck

[imagines4thefandoms]

The Ramen Filth (Batfam x Reader)

requested: no

word count: 18k+

“Y/n what are your plans for spring break,” your best friend (Bff/n) asked as the two of you walked out of your last class.

“I'm going to go home actually. I miss everyone,” you told them.

“So no trip to Bora Bora, a week on a yacht,” they asked slightly pushing you.

“Nope, just me my brother, father, Alfred, and my bed,” you replied pushing them back.

When you guys left the building they went to their car while you headed to your dorm room. It always surprised people when they found out that you lived on campus. “You’re a Wayne. Why don’t you live in some penthouse in the city.” “Why are you slumming it here?” Well, you wanted the whole college experience.

When you entered your dorm room, you tried to pack your bags quietly so as not to wake up your roommate. But that didn’t work cause when you were grabbing some clothes and throwing them into a suitcase, she woke up.

“Excited to go home,” they asked you sitting up in bed.

“I haven’t seen them since August,” you replied searching around your room for your car keys. “So maybe a little.”

After you found your keys, you proceeded to gather the rest of the stuff you were bringing home with you. Your roommate got out of bed and went to grab a drink from the fridge. You looked over at her and watched her shotgun a bud light.

“Jesus (r/n) it's 2 in the afternoon,” you exclaimed throwing your computer bag on your bed.

“Well for me it's breakfast,” she replied grabbing a hoodie from their closet and grabbing their backpack. “Well off to class. Drive safe.”

You shook your head at them and waved them off, while you grabbed some snacks to enjoy while at the manor. After grabbing, your suitcase, computer bag, backpack, purse, and dirty clothes you headed out to your car. There was quite a long walk from your dorm to your car cause parking is hell but many people had already left so there was a straight shot to the car. You popped the trunk of your car and put everything in the trunk.

After getting in the driver’s seat and starting the car. You set up your fave Spotify playlist and started to head back home. The college you attend is just outside Gotham which your father kind of insisted. You didn’t really object. Sure you loved Gotham even with all the craziness it held but it has been nice being able to walk around town and not get mugged or have a city block shut down due to dad and the joker.

Once you crossed Gotham City limits, you kind of tensed up and double-checked that the doors were locked but once you were closer to Wayne Manor you started to relax. You really enjoyed the scenery on the ride home. It reminded you of when Dad first brought you home after your mother left you at GCPD with a note letting them know you belong to Bruce.

The Manor came into view and you saw Damian and Titus running around in the yard. You pulled up to the front door and Titus jumped at your door, either he was excited you were home or ready to attack you. Damian called Titus over to him then ran over to open the door for you.

“Sister you’re home,” he said in his usually monotone but this time he gave hug.

“I missed you to bud,” you replied hugging him back.

He helped you get your stuff out of your trunk and carried it into the house. You placed your suitcase and dirty closed by the front door while Damian brought the rest to your room. Jason was in the living room with Tim playing video games. Dick was either at work or in the cave training and the same could be said for dad.

“Honey I'm home,” you called out.

“Y/n,” Jason and Tim yelled running to give you a hug.

Jason tripped Tim in order to hug you first. Tim got up, punched Jason in the arm then gave you a hug. You missed this. Your annoying brothers. They didn’t give you time to breathe. They just grabbed your arm and pulled you over to the couch to play their video games with them. Alfred walked into the room and a smile appeared on his face when he saw you.

“Welcome home, miss. Y/n,” he said walking over to you to give you a hug.

“I missed you,” you replied returning the hug.

“I suppose you have something for me,” he asked letting you go.

“Yes sir, by the front door.”

Once Alfred left you decided to play a round or two with Jay and Tim. You were so in the zone of kicking their asses you didn’t notice when your dad came home. He just stood behind the couch and watched four of his kids play video games without a care in the world.

“Come one, you weren’t smart enough to see that coming college girl,” Jason teased as he was beating you.

“Prepare to die again Jason,” you said as you beat the crap out of him and killing him.

“You cheated,” he said throwing down the controller.

“No you just suck, Todd,” Damian said defending you.

Someone behind you coughs. You turned around as saw dad and Dick standing there. You got up from the couch and ran to give your dad a hug. After he left you to go, which took a while you gave your favorite older brother a hug.

“I missed you,” you said looking between your brother and father.

“Right back at ya kid,” Dick said ruffling your hair.

After giving your dad another hug, you returned to kick Tim’s ass this time. You kicked Tim’s Damian’s, Dick’s, and Jason’s ass (again) at the game before Alfred came in and announced that dinner was ready. Your stomach did like a backflip from the excitement of Alfred’s cooking. It had been a long time since you had a home-cooked meal; you kind of lived off ramen, cereal, and coffee for the past 9 months. You jumped with joy when you saw that he made (favorite meal).

“Aw Alfred I love you,” you said taking a seat at the dinner table.

The meal was delicious, no surprise there. After dinner, you caught them up on everything, even though you basically call home every day. Damian made a comment about how he missed having you around and Jason teased him about it which caused the two of them to fight. Tim got excited about the 24/7 library and coffee shop. That boy worries you sometimes. Dick kept asking about the security and how safe you are even though he basically interviewed every campus officer when you first moved in.

“This is nice and all but don’t you boys have a night job to do,” you asked getting up from the table.

“My daughter is home from college after 9 months. I don’t have to go out the boys have it,” your father replied.

“Daddy, i will be home for 9 long days. Go plus I was hoping you would so I could catch up on sleep. LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO,” you yelled the last part so Tim could hear. “Just wake me up when you get back so I know you're safe.

“Alright,” he agreed to get up and heading down to the cave.

“Be safe guys,” you warned them before they went down.

“Always am,” Jason replied which really didn’t sit well with you.

You asked Alfred if he wanted help cleaning but he declined the offer and told you to go to bed. Not needed to be told twice, you went up to your room and just plopped on the bed.

“I forgot how comfortable this bed was,” you said to yourself.

You decided that you needed to change into pj's, so you climbed out of bed and changed only to lay back on the cloud. Sleep took over about five minutes after your head hit the pillow and it was wonderful. But it didn’t last. You woke up and check to see what time it was. 2:19. Going back to sleep wasn’t going to work, so you decided to sneak downstairs for some late-night ramen. You grabbed the (favorite flavor) ramen from your backpack and then headed downstairs. It took a while to find the kettle cause Alfred is very particular about where things go but after you found it, you boiled some water and make the ramen. You were sitting at the table enjoying your snack when the lights came. You froze with noodles hanging out of your mouth when you saw that it was Alfred.

“What are you eating,” he asked disgustingly.

“Ramen,” you replied with a mouth full of noodles. He shook his head and grabbed the bowl.

“Hey give it back.”

“This isn’t food y/n. Do you eat this often while away at school,” he asked kind of scared of your answer?

“Only when I'm hungry,” you replied with a sweet smile.

“unacceptable. You will never eat this filth again,” he promised as he tossed the food in the trashcan.

“Hey, that was my last bag. And that filth is delicious.”

“No Wayne child will eat this especially under my roof,” he warned grabbing a pan and placing it on the stove.

“What are you doing,” you inquired.

“Making you a proper meal.”

“No the point of ramen is that it's not filling. I'm not that hungry I just couldn’t go back to sleep.”

He ignored your comment and proceeded to make your grilled cheese and tomato soup. Alfred placed the food in front of you and shook his head as he went back down to the cave. You had eaten half the ramen already and were kind of full but the grilled cheese smelled so good. So after eating basically a second dinner you went back to sleep. Being home was great.

The rest of your time home was just like you never left. You had a daddy/daughter date and helped everybody train. There was also a small family trip to the amusement park, which was amazing. Damian ate too much and threw up on dad. Best day ever. When it was time to go back to school, you hugged everyone bye and dad helped you pack your car. Before you left Alfred handed you two tote bags.

“Promise me that you will call if you need food. And never eat that filth again,” he warned you in his caring way.

You looked in the bag and saw that he and meal prepped for you. There was enough food here for the next week. Alfred always takes care of you.

“Thanks, Alfred. And I promise.”

Ever since then Alfred and made it his mission to drive up every weekend to bring you meals for the week. Sure it was kind of embarrassing, especially when he didn’t it in the quad during lunch. But you weren’t going to complain. Alfred’s cooking was amazing.

[midnight-watch-committee]

Story 5: the devil and Ms. Vallen

Big Horn Memorial County Hospital, February, 2:03 pm 16th, 2019.

You get kind of used to hospital beds after a while, they’re comfy honestly. Well, comfy is subjective so just take my word that it isn’t horrible. They bring you three meals a day, which was already more than I’m used to when compared to my two, one during school lunch and one in the early morning, a light snack as I leave the house to hold me over. People think that’s weird; one nurse was actually surprised when I told her that and asked why my parents were “so irresponsible.” I never had the heart to tell her, nor anyone else who worked here. They were god sends compared to the people I deal with all the time. I’m a black sheep at school at this point, my fascination with horror and the rush it gives me has always made people question my sanity, their questions often echoed in my mind when I was alone. Maybe it was the never being alone here that really helped me more than anything. Beth, Chuck, my roommates who rotated more than a wheel, the nurses and doctors who came in to check on me. It was nice. It was Chuck’s turn with me now, but Beth was never willing to leave the room when he was here. He had cuffed me to the bed, as was normal for someone to do to a suspect in a hospital, even though I wasn’t. “Can never be too safe” he says every time he slapped them on me. It was bizarre but strangely normal for me at this point.  Beth would always complain about it, at one point even calling the FBI office in Big Horn and insisting he be charged with police brutality after he accidentally cuffed me too tight one time. I laughed way louder than I should’ve when I heard “police brutality” come out of her mouth. Chuck threw some pictures down for me to look at. They still only had Earth Eater evidence, “We’re working on getting more” he’d say if I ever mentioned that they were all from the same day. I was surprised I took so many pictures of the scenes, and how few of them actually mattered. Thank god I had the only picture that mattered back at my place, the one that could tie Beth and eventually all of us back to this. Browsing photos was oddly the best part of my day, besides spending time with Beth when I could. “There really isn’t anything more here than there was last time.” I said, trying to be as gentle yet direct as possible. Chuck let out a sigh “I’m aware of that, Ms. Vallen.” Ms. Vallen... that made me sound like a professional or something. I never bothered to correct him on it, it felt nice to finally have someone actually look at me as a superior. I figured I would try and lighten the mood a little. “So, I think I’m getting discharged today! Maybe I can finally get to see that office you talk so much about hating?” He laughed, his laugh was low and soft and sent a feeling of joy gently rippling through my body. “Maybe you will,” he said, “and maybe you’ll finally get to spend a night in your own bed, whenever she” he gestured towards Beth “feels like leaving you alone long enough to.” I giggled, Beth on the other hand wasn’t such a fan of it. I just think she didn’t like him, but eventually she caved and laughed a little too. He left the pictures, handed me his card like he had a hundred times, shook my hand and left, wishing me and Beth well. Beth sat down next to me and took my hand in hers, sighing. “Juni, do you think he’s on to us?” I... had honestly never thought of that before. I still really don’t, no point in it now a days. I shook my head reassuringly, but I had no real clue, like I said before. She smiled softly, calming down a little bit more, her body going from tensed up to practically melting in the chair. Can’t blame her, it was hot in here. The only time I really got chills in this room is if she asked questions like that. I asked for her to hand me my phone and started checking for things nearby for when I got out. As nice as this place was, I was still the same girl who broke into an abandoned house and found the girl sitting next to me doing the same.

Big Horn Memorial County Hospital, February, 11:55 pm 16th, 2019.

When they said “later today,” apparently hospitals mean more of the later and less of the today part of that statement. The once nice staff were somehow taking their sweet time and tripping over themselves rushing to get me out of there at the same time. I gave Beth a call to let her know I was out and got an annoyed groan and a “give me five minutes.” Lazy as she is, she really did mean five minutes, even though going the speed limit and staying on the road the fastest her and Mickey, my other personal Uber, could’ve gotten here was fifteen minutes. I wasn’t complaining, it was too late for me to do so anyways. I hopped in and hoped there weren’t any approaching sirens. My plans to get ice cream were still on, even if we had to go somewhere a little out of the way. We must’ve looked like drunk college kids, the three of us rolling up to an ice cream place late at night, the only real clothes I had being Micky’s jacket and my hospital gown. While the others browsed the flavors, I snuck off to the bathroom to put on real clothes. The stalls were small, but they were stalls nonetheless so I went in one and locked the door, making sure it was locked a few times before undressing. A scream echoed through the bathroom, sounding like it had come from the stall next to me. I quickly peaked under, half dressed, to see what was going on. I was completely alone in here, my search told me as such. My skin started to crawl, not because I was afraid but quite literally it felt like my skin was... crawling. Imagine the feeling of worms in your arms, that’s what I was feeling.  I quickly reached into my bag trying to find my clothes but magically only being able to find the book. “Nope, nope nope nope NOPE! Not this time! Leave me out of your magic fairy war or whatever the hell it is! My life was normal before I found you!” I screamed at it. I didn’t really mean most of those nopes, but the book didn’t care. It threw itself at my face, as if shushing me and flung open to a page. Reading it, I suddenly noticed I haven’t had my camera for a while. I dug through my bag. Nope. I threw on my clothes and read the page over again aloud. “Mr. Yuki, an artifact hunter who was formerly a warlock who became so corrupted by his own dark magic that in 1982 he turned into the beast Native tribes called a wendigo. Yuki doesn’t survive off of just human flesh, in fact Yuki doesn’t truly need anything to survive as some hunters have noticed. It uses its dark powers and high intelligence to isolate Artifact Bearers and drain their artifacts. Yuki has also been known to steal artifacts from their Bearers for other monsters with dark intentions.” I bolted out of the bathroom, panting. Despite the bathroom being so small it felt like I had been running miles. I grabbed my camera from off Mickey’s neck and put it around mine. He looked at me confused, “Juniper, are you ok?” I nodded before realizing I kinda forgot pants. I made my way back to the bathroom, the feeling slowly subsiding. I sighed and wiggled back into my pants, rolling my eyes at how stupid I was being. I came back out, with pants this time, and came up to the counter, hoping everyone would drop it. Judging from their face though, I wouldn’t be off the hook that easy. At least they still let me get ice cream. I got a double scoop of strawberry and threw whatever money I had in my pockets down on the counter. “Isn’t that a little much for ice cream?” Beth asked, literally counting what I threw down and checking the prices on the board behind the counter, giving him the proper amount of the fifty dollars in varying coins and bills that I had thrown down. I hugged her, shaking. “Why is this my life?” I asked in her shoulder, barely standing from how weak I was feeling. She hugged me tight, not really knowing what to say but still trying anyway. “Juni, you aren’t doing this alone, I know this is hard but we’re doing this together.” She held me out so I could look in her eyes. “I love you.” She said softly, reaching for the camera and slowly lifting it up from around my neck. I grabbed it, whispering “How do I know I can trust you with this?” She sighed and kissed my cheek, and I let go, seeing Mickey's reaction out of the corner of my eye. “Mickey, I don’t want to hear it. Whatever you think of us you-” He held up a hand and cut her off “I’m not mad, I just wish you told me sooner is all. I’m happy for you guys.” That made me feel good. Beth passed it off to Mickey, “I’m not gonna do that but you just got to trust me” he joked, getting a sad yet genuine laugh from me. The cashier handed me my ice cream and we took it with us to go.

The Vallen residence 7:15 am, February 17th,2019.

The sound of the alarm clock beside me filled the room like the cacophony of annoyance it is. I slammed on the broken snooze button a couple hundred times before finally just giving up and letting it beep its heart out. I tiredly rolled out of bed, hitting the floor with a loud thud, a thud loud enough to wake Beth, who was asleep downstairs out of concern for me. The only thing louder than my sudden escape from sleep that morning was the girl who loved me, storming up there before I could even get used to being on the ground for a second. She kneeled down beside me, and asked me the normal stuff you’d expect for someone who just fell out of bed, but with a lot more concern. You could hear her voice shake as she asked me, afraid that I was truly hurt again. I wasn’t but the sentiment was nice, it was new to have someone check up on me, so it definitely caught me off guard. I slowly picked myself up and walked out, the carrot top, who hates when I call her that but in the funny kind of way, stalking closely behind. Her gaze was always on me that morning, whether it was love or fear, it was kind of odd. What was even weirder was I could’ve sworn someone...pushed me out of bed, but I was alone in the room so how was that even possible?

Unnamed forest near the Vallen residence, 10:20 am, February 17th,2019.

There’s only so much of the same four walls you can see before it becomes annoying, and since our ride was probably going to be asleep for a while, I grab my camera and asked Beth if she wanted to go down the nature trail I always go down when things get too much. She agreed and we were off. My normal trail was easy to find, always is when you’ve done it a hundred times. There’re three trails, one for hikers, one for park staff to get back to the watch station, and one no one knows about. For those of you who know me and Beth, it should be no surprise that the old, abandoned trail that no one knows about is the one we took. There, you could see it all, everything nature had to offer. Deer, birds, hell even a bear’s den if you got the balls for it. On the trail was this abandoned mine shaft, covered by boards with stuff like “DO NOT ENTER” horribly spray painted on. Any other day this would’ve flown well with me, but for some reason I wanted nothing more than to go in there. I tried tugging against the boards but they wouldn’t move. “When did you plan on telling me it opened?” Beth asked. “What are you talking about?” I asked, the gentle, cold tap of the “Children’s survival guide” against my arm answering my question. “I came out here because we need to talk about yesterday. And the 14th. And about you.” I turned away, refusing to look at her. “Juni, I understand your need to do this stuff, I really do, but... you need to learn to relax. Let me hold onto... the ‘Artifact’ for a week, trust me, nothing will happen.” I didn’t want to, but the pain in her voice didn’t make me feel like I had much of a choice. She seemed scared, like at any point I could become the most dangerous thing in the world, and I was tired of being on edge all the time. She adjusted the strap to fit her a little better and smiled as she put the camera around her neck. I finally felt like a normal person, for once in a long time.

The Vallen residence 11:25 am, February 17th, 2019.

“God, she makes this look so easy.” was what had crossed my mind as soon as I took the camera from Juniper. The rush that had filled me then and had still filled me now was... otherworldly. Whether good or bad was beyond me, all I knew was I left the realm of normal long ago, this was just another step further in. I sighed as I sank down into the couch, stress from the constant reminders of what I’d joined had followed me everywhere, but I never expected a monster to actively get that close to us. I looked briefly at the scar on my arm from the last time one got that close, “yep, still there” I mumbled to myself as Juniper went upstairs, finally feeling like she could sleep again. I was happy to see her go, not because I didn’t love her but because she clearly needed a me day, she never bothered to take one since this all began. “Do you really think she’s gonna be ok? After all she’s been through?” I knew who it was, I didn’t even have to check. “I’m not doing this; you’ve done enough already anyways” I muttered angerly to the voice. “Really? You keep bringing hell to her doorstep and then have the nerve to get mad at me?!” It said, pissed at her for letting her do what she does and me for letting her, which is fair. I ignored it, turning on some music to try and drown it out. It wasn’t much use but I had to do something. The phone rang, and just like that it was gone, replaced with the voice of Mickey when I picked up. Except...It wasn’t him, it sounded like someone trying to be him. The pain in my arm telling me whatever it was, it’s other worldly. “Have you seen Juniper?” He said to me, I tried to ignore it but it’s an overwhelming amount of “this is bad” screeching, searing pain. “Who are you? Why are you fucking pretending to be my friend?” I was pissed, but not as pissed as the beast on the other end which had started growling. “I don’t know if you’re smart or an idiot for calling me out, either way I don’t have time for this...” A ringing sound filled my ears as I slowly saw myself turn into a monster, grey skin and sharp teeth, thinned black hair and pale eyes...I didn’t really know what to do, Juniper came down, yawning. Yawn turned to scream when she saw me, and I did the only thing my body would let me do, tear her throat out, a flash and suddenly everyone I loved was there...dead in front of me. “STOP IT” I tried to scream, but the words were drowned by the ringing noise. Suddenly I was normal again, and everything was gone. Everything except the monster on the other end. “Bring me the artifact, or else.” I didn’t even know where to start with my questions; Where’s Mickey, who even was this, WHAT was this, but I didn’t have the chance to ask as I was cut off by the sound of him hanging up. The once protective weapon around my neck had started to burn just from holding it, but something was...drawing me back to the woods. I didn’t know if Juni would’ve been angrier if I lost the camera or Mickey, and at this point I didn’t care, I had a friend to go save.

Unnamed forest near the Vallen residence 1:00 pm, February 17th,2019.

I sprinted down the path as fast as my legs would possibly take me. I knew I was running into something I wasn’t ready for, something this powerful and malicious was certainly willing to kill and I had no way of knowing what I was going into but I didn’t have a choice, after all I’ve done I had to at least save Mickey, that’s all I could really tell myself as I got closer and closer to the mine, each step bringing me further from reality and into this monster’s new reality, where I would be alone and powerless to defend myself. The burning pain of the camera got less and less, step by step I could feel it crawling into my brain, a single thought: “I lived a good life, right?” The boards came off with loud snaps, each board louder and easier than the last, like each one had been there longer than the last. With a final snap, the boards had been cleared, and a sudden rush of what I could only guess was the smell of rotting corpses flooded the air, forcing me to nearly hack up a lung just from the smell alone. The sight inside was even worse than the smell, from the outside, dust that filled the door way made it impossible to know what it was for sure but once inside a pile of corpses was clear in the middle of the room. On the walls you could see names written in blood, like whoever or whatever had been here was showing of its kills. In the pile I could distinguish a few police officers, telling me that what I was walking into was bound to be awful. I grabbed a gun from one of the corpses, a revolver with a few shots loaded into it, and slowly made my way through a small opening in the right most wall. Despite how natural this place is, the shaping and damage and hell even furniture made it all feel...like someone’s home, a table and oil lamp that hasn’t worked for a while had been the only things to really look at. The hole was tight, barely enough room for me, and long enough to make it trigger claustrophobia in even the bravest of people. It felt like I had been going for hours before I finally saw anything, but soon a light in a hole on the other end signaled hope for me...or death. At this point, either was better than the hole. As I got closer towards the light, the hole opened more until there was enough room for me to stand. Once on my feet, I saw what the light was: an oil lamp hanging on a doorway, this one as old as the last but somehow working. The door was a dark oak, the handle a bright steel yet covered in rust. Opening the door an office that had a familiar feeling but I couldn’t quite pick it out. The familiarity, however weird, was comforting enough for me to go in, the door slamming shut behind me. Trying to turn the knob was pointless, but I tried anyway. As if on cue, a man came in, a suit and tie. He set his hat down on his desk and sat by the fire place, puffing a cigar. “oh...now I remember.” I thought to myself, seeing the markings on his arm, an old symbol from a cult that disappeared long ago. A young girl ran in, jumping into her dad’s lap. He stroked her hair gently, telling her about their plans for today. I checked the date on the paper next to him. April 16th, 1922. The day Ania Barnes went missing and her family turned up dead at a cult sacrifice. Conveniently, Mr. Barnes leaves out the whole “join the rest of the cult to go sacrifice someone” bit of his plans for the day. As nice as all this was, I had somewhere to be. I flung open the door the girl came in through and kept walking until I made it back to the mine. Looking back to make sure I didn’t miss anything, I saw a gap in the wall that lead back to the entrance, big enough for a semitruck to slide right through. “Damn, how did I miss that?” I muttered to myself, realizing how insane I sounded but not caring. A deep, growly voice called my name from the darkness. “Give it to me!” The creature screamed, lunging forward enough for me to see it. Dark fur covered most of its body, exposed bone being the only real injury I could find, and a dear skull for a head. “I need to know he’s alive, first.” I said, my voice shaking. “You’re in no place to negotiate here, Beth” It said, a mocking tone in its voice as it said my name. I knew it was right, it knew it was right, I’m sure Hellen Keller knew it was right, and yet it still did it anyways. It reached into the darkness and threw down my friend, clawed, beaten and bruised but alive. He sat up slowly, groaning. Slowly pulling him away from this thing, I set the camera down for it to do whatever it wanted with. The creature took it and chuckled, “this will be nice.” I didn’t care for it too much; I dragged my now unconscious friend back to the house to lick our wounds and get ready to die another day.

[dianehoffmaster]

Spring is approaching and with it comes lots of new baby animals.  If you are considering adding a critter to your house, I encourage you to check out these tips for choosing the right pet before you shop.  Animals are a huge commitment and they deserve to be a full-fledged member of your family.

Growing up, I had a dog until I was about 10 years old and he passed away from old age.  That was the first time I had ever seen my father cry and that memory has stuck with me for decades.  I begged and pleaded for years after that to be allowed to have another pet and was repeatedly told NO.  Finally,  my parents caved and let me get a hamster.  I bet they regretted that decision when one week after I brought my beloved little furball home I woke up to find a cage full of baby hamsters! Oh, the joys of pet ownership!  When I graduated college and moved in with my boyfriend,  the first thing we did was buy a dog.  Maybe not the smartest decision financially but she provided years of unconditional love and security…not to mention about 50 pounds of excess fur all over my house.

  Tips for Choosing the Right Pet 

Pet ownership can be a fair amount of work and you definitely need to go into it with your eyes wide open.  However, there can be a number of benefits to pet ownership that you might want to consider the next time your child comes begging “Mooooommmm, can we get a pet???”  Here are a few tips for choosing the right pet for your family so that you all have a happy and healthy relationship for many years to come.

Do your research

You need to be realistic about the amount of time, money and attention you can give to an animal.  If you are gone for 12 hours at a stretch, you may not want to get a puppy.  Their little bladders will empty about every 2 hours whether you are there to let them out for a potty break for not.  Same goes for cats…don’t get a long haired cat that needs grooming if you aren’t willing to do it (or pay someone to have it done).  Don’t get a Border Collie if no one in your house likes running, throwing balls, or tossing frisbees.  Excess energy will be spent chewing your couch and digging in your plants.  Know the breed and species you are considering buying before diving into pet ownership.

Do not expect your children to do all the work

I don’t care if your kid is 12 and insists he or she is going to care for this animal 100%.  YOU will be the one picking up dog vomit and driving said vomiting animal to the vet for anti-nausea meds when it eats your plant because no one took her for a walk.   Pet ownership is an adult responsibility.  It’s great for kids to help but be realistic about your involvement.

Plan on being a good neighbor

It is YOUR pet…which means that it belongs in YOUR house or yard…not the neighbors  Your neighbor does not want to pick up your dog’s poop or find out that your cat is snacking at their bird feeder.  They also do not want to listen to your dog barking all night or your cat making those horrid cat-in-heat noises outside their window.   I have a few neighbors myself that need lessons in proper pet ownership. I routinely find cats roaming in my FENCED backyard.  They don’t appreciate it when I let my dog outside to remind them what fences are made for.  One of the most important tips for choosing the right pet is to take into account your living and working situations before buying an animal.

Be prepared

Animals are not cheap.  They require an awful lot of stuff to be happy and healthy and you are the one that has to fork over all the money.  Consider your budget when deciding what type of pet to get.  A big dog eats a LOT of food, requires a very large dog bed and is incredibly hard on toys.  If your budget is limited, do a little research before you head out to look at animals.  Knowing what an animal costs to take care of is an important thing to consider when buying a pet.

Set up a schedule

My kids are just like everyone else’s…they love their pets until someone says it is time to pick up their poop!  Too bad, I am not the only person in this house capable of wielding a plastic bag or shovel.  During the week we are rather pressed for time so my husband and I usually share the chores. On the weekends the kids are required to help.  They sift lizard sand and wash dishes, pick up dog presents around the yard, feed the fish, and whatever else needs to get done.  Is it done happily?  No…it usually involves an excessive amount of whining and I hear a lot of EEEWWWWW  from whoever is in charge of dog poop patrol.  Too bad.  Hopefully, they will have a decent understanding of pet ownership responsibilities when they head out on their own and consider their own pet choices.

Be prepared to love unconditionally

Even though pet ownership is a huge responsibility,  we get something amazing in return…unconditional love.  They love us because we pat their head or fill their food bowl.  We are awesome because we are the keepers of the cat treats.  Humans rock because we can make crickets appear when they are hungry or provide a warm lap to sleep in when they are tired.  Our mere existence in their lives makes us seem awesome in their eyes.  It is a pretty amazing feeling.

  Owning a pet can have wonderful rewards.  Animals have been shown to improve our mood, reduce depression, encourage people to exercise, lower our blood pressure and improve family bonds.  But, owning the WRONG pet or not going into pet ownership with some realistic ideas can cause an incredible amount of stress.  It can also annoy the crap out of your neighbor if you live in an apartment and decide you want to get a parrot that enjoys mimicking police sirens.  But, next time your kid comes to you begging for an animal you might want to give pet ownership a chance!

  Have any other tips for choosing the right pet?

Like this post?  Try this one!

How to Stay Active With Your Dog

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[dianehoffmaster]

Spring is approaching and with it comes lots of new baby animals.  If you are considering adding a critter to your house, I encourage you to check out these tips for choosing the right pet before you shop.  Animals are a huge commitment and they deserve to be a full-fledged member of your family.

Growing up, I had a dog until I was about 10 years old and he passed away from old age.  That was the first time I had ever seen my father cry and that memory has stuck with me for decades.  I begged and pleaded for years after that to be allowed to have another pet and was repeatedly told NO.  Finally,  my parents caved and let me get a hamster.  I bet they regretted that decision when one week after I brought my beloved little furball home I woke up to find a cage full of baby hamsters! Oh, the joys of pet ownership!  When I graduated college and moved in with my boyfriend,  the first thing we did was buy a dog.  Maybe not the smartest decision financially but she provided years of unconditional love and security…not to mention about 50 pounds of excess fur all over my house.

  Tips for Choosing the Right Pet 

Pet ownership can be a fair amount of work and you definitely need to go into it with your eyes wide open.  However, there can be a number of benefits to pet ownership that you might want to consider the next time your child comes begging “Mooooommmm, can we get a pet???”  Here are a few tips for choosing the right pet for your family so that you all have a happy and healthy relationship for many years to come.

Do your research

You need to be realistic about the amount of time, money and attention you can give to an animal.  If you are gone for 12 hours at a stretch, you may not want to get a puppy.  Their little bladders will empty about every 2 hours whether you are there to let them out for a potty break for not.  Same goes for cats…don’t get a long haired cat that needs grooming if you aren’t willing to do it (or pay someone to have it done).  Don’t get a Border Collie if no one in your house likes running, throwing balls, or tossing frisbees.  Excess energy will be spent chewing your couch and digging in your plants.  Know the breed and species you are considering buying before diving into pet ownership.

Do not expect your children to do all the work

I don’t care if your kid is 12 and insists he or she is going to care for this animal 100%.  YOU will be the one picking up dog vomit and driving said vomiting animal to the vet for anti-nausea meds when it eats your plant because no one took her for a walk.   Pet ownership is an adult responsibility.  It’s great for kids to help but be realistic about your involvement.

Plan on being a good neighbor

It is YOUR pet…which means that it belongs in YOUR house or yard…not the neighbors  Your neighbor does not want to pick up your dog’s poop or find out that your cat is snacking at their bird feeder.  They also do not want to listen to your dog barking all night or your cat making those horrid cat-in-heat noises outside their window.   I have a few neighbors myself that need lessons in proper pet ownership. I routinely find cats roaming in my FENCED backyard.  They don’t appreciate it when I let my dog outside to remind them what fences are made for.  One of the most important tips for choosing the right pet is to take into account your living and working situations before buying an animal.

Be prepared

Animals are not cheap.  They require an awful lot of stuff to be happy and healthy and you are the one that has to fork over all the money.  Consider your budget when deciding what type of pet to get.  A big dog eats a LOT of food, requires a very large dog bed and is incredibly hard on toys.  If your budget is limited, do a little research before you head out to look at animals.  Knowing what an animal costs to take care of is an important thing to consider when buying a pet.

Set up a schedule

My kids are just like everyone else’s…they love their pets until someone says it is time to pick up their poop!  Too bad, I am not the only person in this house capable of wielding a plastic bag or shovel.  During the week we are rather pressed for time so my husband and I usually share the chores. On the weekends the kids are required to help.  They sift lizard sand and wash dishes, pick up dog presents around the yard, feed the fish, and whatever else needs to get done.  Is it done happily?  No…it usually involves an excessive amount of whining and I hear a lot of EEEWWWWW  from whoever is in charge of dog poop patrol.  Too bad.  Hopefully, they will have a decent understanding of pet ownership responsibilities when they head out on their own and consider their own pet choices.

Be prepared to love unconditionally

Even though pet ownership is a huge responsibility,  we get something amazing in return…unconditional love.  They love us because we pat their head or fill their food bowl.  We are awesome because we are the keepers of the cat treats.  Humans rock because we can make crickets appear when they are hungry or provide a warm lap to sleep in when they are tired.  Our mere existence in their lives makes us seem awesome in their eyes.  It is a pretty amazing feeling.

  Owning a pet can have wonderful rewards.  Animals have been shown to improve our mood, reduce depression, encourage people to exercise, lower our blood pressure and improve family bonds.  But, owning the WRONG pet or not going into pet ownership with some realistic ideas can cause an incredible amount of stress.  It can also annoy the crap out of your neighbor if you live in an apartment and decide you want to get a parrot that enjoys mimicking police sirens.  But, next time your kid comes to you begging for an animal you might want to give pet ownership a chance!

  Have any other tips for choosing the right pet?

Like this post?  Try this one!

How to Stay Active With Your Dog

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[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

Red Tornado: You are all insane and I want to study you under a microscope so I’m your babysitter now

Robin:

Impulse:

Superboy: Hey what the fuck