#but it’s very emotionally taxing
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chat should I go to collage to be a marine biologist or mortician
#i rly wanna go to art school#but I don’t know what I would do with that degree#like I don’t really wanna be an animator#they have kinda shitty pay and work hours#so I think one of these would be more realistic#I still have a few years left before I go to college though#if I even get accepted in#I’m thinking about taking a gap year once I graduate though#like to try and get my shit together#embalmer could be cool too#but yeah#I like sharks so that would be cool to study#and mortician#from the research I’ve done you only need about 2 years of college#and it pays pretty decently#but it’s very emotionally taxing#if that doesn’t work out I’ll try to get a job at a music shop or something idk 😭#I love stressing over work even though I’ve never had a job and am still a teenager
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yesterday was easily the hardest day i’ve had at this job so far and the fact that it’s only tuesday and i have to go back there today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow feels so fucking heavy rn
#had a very emotionally taxing and triggering apartment clean out#dead pets that i had to be the one to take out bc no one else wanted to do it bc it was sad and smelly#me and a coworker (both who are csa survivors) were put in charge of the little girls room and kept finding more and more shit that made us#sick to our stomach and ready to murder the moms ex bf#so many signs of abuse and neglect contrasted by thousands of dollars of toys and books#just. a lot. so much. and today i have to go back there and act like i’m fine and it’s all business as usual#personal
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I wish the bvddies would keep their Buck/Tommy breakup posts away from the bucktommy tag. It's not that hard to not tag it when it's not relevant. They can say what they want in their posts, obviously, but they definitely don't know what basic respect is.
#bucktommy#I'm already dealing with a very emotionally taxing thing today#I don't need to see their shit on this tag
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Writing this arcane fic has had the unexpected side-effect of me unironically falling for Jayce oh my god this man is such a sweetie pie. For a long time in my head he was Just A Guy™️
Also this is me saying I'm writing an arcane fic lmao. I looked at those cosmic soulmates and went "what if there was a third?" And now I'm nearly 10k words deep. This is how I cope with Viktor dying I am pathologically avoiding it no thank you what if the mere presence of a third person actually saved them from being destroyed by the acceleration rune? Hm? Did you ever consider that?
#take me out back like ol yeller cuz bitch i am YELLING#this is how im dealing w the end of arcane#writing a poly fic abt jayvik#tho my oc is very much in a queer platonic relationship w jayce. they smooch but not much else#viktor tho? they climbing that machine herald like a tree#arcane#jayvik#writing#im back on my writing bullshit#my elden ring fic is in the big emotional part and i needed a break#so instead lets write abt a disabled character using myself as inspo yeah that wont be emotionally taxing#i took 15 pages of notes on seasons 1 & 2 just focusing on mel jayce and viktor since theyre so intertwined#why do i do this to myself? ah yes the hyperfixation demon in my head
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so how was everybody's day. any fun things happen.
#VERY emotionally taxing class#jesus christ#in need for some comfort if anyone cab spare#niki.rambles
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Ngl sometimes I feel embarrassed checking my Letterboxd because it feels like everyone is always watching way more movies than me.
#I love movies#but also it takes forever until I decide to watch one#and a lot of the times I choose to instead rewatch something I've seen before#not even going to get started with recent films I hardly ever get to see every big movie of the year on time#at most I'd see one lmao#none of this really matter btw I just feel more like aw : ( I need to watch movies more#also going to the movie theatre but 1. I don't have a car/can't drive#2. only time I go to the city is for school or work and most of the time I end up too exhausted to go to a film#which maybe sounds weird but I find watching a new movie very emotionally taxing like I want to give it my 100% I want it to be good#I feel so particular and weird about this like it is just movies it is not that deep but also it is#squack
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no offence but if you don’t have siblings you shouldn’t speak on sibling relationships in media
#like shit is COMPLICATED#factors like age gender treatment from parents heavily impact sibling relationships#like there’s a massive difference between two brothers close in age and a sister and brother with a ten year age gap#and I just see so many bad takes about siblings in media from very obvious only children#ppl talk so much on louclaud cuz they haven’t experience the large age gap sister brother dynamic#which as someone who has that relationship with my older brother (im afab) louclaud reminds me sooooooooo much of our relationship#and ppl just drag their relationship through the mud cuz they just haven’t experienced the difficult intimacy between siblings#and also the expectation that siblings on screen have to always caring and loving towards their siblings for them to have a certified#‘healthy relationship’ and if theyre even a bit bitchy towards each other it’s super toxic#like it’s not a crime to not be emotionally invested in your siblings academic career#its actually super emotionally taxing and unhealthy#in analysis ppl place so much focus on the siblings rather than the literal ADULTS#THE PARENTS#THE PPL ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE#siblings shouldn’t ever be responsible for the welfare of their siblings#if the parent is present and able to take responsibility
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Hello my love by any chace do you have an update schedule for transferrable skills i llve it so much but im lowk loosing my mind checking ur blog four times a day
Hi friend! I do not have a posting schedule for any of my fics, because I'm not in a place where I can commit to that without risk of burning out.
I *do* have the next part of Transferrable Skills edited and ready to post, and will be doing so as early as next Saturday, but it's been a veryveryveryvery eventful day week month quarter time for me and my family, so I can't even promise that!
If you are on AO3, you can subscribe to the fic, and you'll get an email when it gets posted! I post on AO3 and Tumblr at about the same time, so if you prefer to read here, you can use that as an indication to come check the blog!
#coffeeshop chats#curating the library#transferrable skills#i work in a very emotionally taxing field#so sometimes i schedule time to write and i dont get to#(instead i get to stare into the middle distance and drink tea)#some day i'll be able to set a schedule that i can stick to!
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gaz is the type of guy that
falls in love with people so easily
#not lustfully#but like#he's in awe of a new person#and it's not always in a cute way#because it's very emotionally taxing and draining#he just loves so many different people#and when he's out and about it's even worse#gaz loverboy agenda#gaz#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#gaz mw2#gaz headcanons#kyle gaz garrick headcanons#mw2#call of duty#task force 141#rachel speaks#not writing
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I'm glad you all think I'm well articulated because I've had two bloody noses today, throw up in my mouth every time I get a notification, haven't left my bed in 6 hours, eaten anything since yesterday afternoon, or brushed my teeth. So. Sunshine and rainbows everybody I'm doing great.
#I've calmed myself down a little bit and made moral qualms with myself but I'm still very much in the trenches emotionally#the fact that so many people are validating my feelings is making me feel a lot less alone#tw eating disorder ->#honestly ever since dream posted the picture of his scars it really triggered me#I was very anorexic during quarantine and i had gotten better#im not doing as bad then as i was then but this whole situation is so mentally taxing that nothing even smells good#things are tough. I can't lose this. and maybe some of what im saying is copium but it's really all i have left
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Ooh I'm emotional today 🥹
#gonna be a long work day#sometimes this job is just very emotionally taxing#send me asks to cheer me up?
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What do you mean that there’s only two months between the end of team crafted and the start of mianite.
What do you mean that the team crafted fallout and mianite were concurring events.
#like I knew that I repressed a lot of the team crafted stuff#but I’ve been under the assumption that there was like a year between them#cause I have very very different memory clarity of the two#this might honestly be the reason why s1 is so emotionally taxing for me#mianite#team crafted#mcyt#this is getting main tagged so it’s harder to escape#yelling#radiation damage
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#oh. great.#apparently my cat has responded well to an antibiotic shot and has perked up some so we may have bought some time#but like fuck i was Accepting the End and now the end is being delayed and is indefinite again and uuhghhhhhhhhhhh#i am grateful for more time but this is all very emotionally taxing
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Was supposed to cook last night but I was so busy I didn’t get the chance so now I’m eating a protein shake (1 scoop chocolate pea protein + 1 cup almond milk + rest water, 150kcal) and a free mini bag of Takis (140 kcal) for lunch at work today ahahaha …
#I literally wouldn’t care any other day but today is one of my shifts that’s very physically and emotionally taxing so this is going to SUCK#Good news is tho. I normally eat around 300kcal for lunch anyway#food diary#weight loss journey
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if I hold you too close updates are gonna take me a hot minute unfortunately... I commute 2 hours every day now and I hate driving and I'm so tired when I get home plus treating patients all day (which is fun and I love but god is it exhausting) and when I try to open the google docs my brain just shuts down. I'm hoping on weekends I can squeeze in an hour or two of writing time but UGH I'm just so busy 😭
#I'm working on it I promise I want to work on it but it's just very emotionally draining to write and mentally taxing to edit#I hate not being able to be creative but my body is begging me to sleep so I'm trying to listen#ramblings
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a couple weeks ago you recommended skinamarink to me as, “blair witch project for people who fear violence within the home”. skinamarink was so fucked up and im still thinking about it. made my stomach turn when (spoilers) the voice told the little boy to put the knife in his eye. and then my heart broke when he asked the voice if they could watch something happy :(((( thank u for the rec ♥️
hii i'm so glad you enjoyed it! i feel like i should also apologize lol because yeah it is pretty... messed up. i initially heard about the movie over twitter, and i found out that apparently the director had previously released short films/vignettes on youtube of other people's dreams. like people were sending him their dreams or nightmares and he would take "scenes" from the dream and actually film them irl.
which, looking at skinamarink in hindsight, makes a lot of sense!
i personally feel like the film represents how we as children are extremely dependent on parental figures in our lives, especially during formative years. as kids we rely on adults, or any older person, to help us with simple tasks such as feeding ourselves, entertainment, and with using the bathroom. i don't know if there's a "message" or something to decode in the movie, but there were a lot of shots that greatly unsettled me.
on a less analytical note, i was concerned about your reaction to the movie tbh! i feel like skinamarink isn't a very accessible film for people who aren't prepared or accustomed to movies of that nature. i've heard from others that "it's just blurry shots of the corner of the ceiling." it can be very boring for some, or very frightening, and i'm happy to hear that you took something out of the film :)
#ataratheh#when the camera was filming the TV and that cartoon was reversing and playing over and over and over...#new phobia unlocked lmao /hj#i don't know if i could watch this movie again... it was very emotionally taxing for me#and i hope you don't mind my rambling haha i love talking about movies ^_^
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