#i would also support buckley-diaz though

[ellswritings]

I Knew You Were Trouble

Ex!Evan Buckley x reader

Eddie Diaz x reader

TW: Emotional and physical cheating (from Buck), heartbroken reader, 118 supporting reader, Eddie picking up the pieces, angsty fluff.

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Evan Buckley. The moment his piercing blue eyes showed up at the 118, Y/N knew she was in for it. His flirty smile, the forward flirting, it was hard not to fall for it. Y/N has never been the type to fall for a guy just because he flashes a smile, but something about the way his nose crinkled whenever he grinned at her, it made her heart flutter.

Y/N L/N has always had a strong personality. She was part of the LAPD for five years before going through the Fire academy. She was the best in both of her fields. Always professional, super playful, witty, reasonable, and always down for a good time. That’s why she fit in so well with the team at the 118 when she was placed there. Hen and Chimney were the first two she met, then Captain Bobby Nash came rolling in. He clicked seamlessly with them too. And then… Buck.

On paper, he was perfect. At least in Y/N’s eyes he was. Despite his constant need to go against Bobby’s orders, she could never truly dislike the boy. Did she think he could be irrational and dumb sometimes? Absolutely. But that’s one of the things she found endearing about him.

And that’s also the reason he fell for her. Everyone on the team treated him like some idiot kid who was just a ticking time bomb. But not Y/N. She treated him like an equal, like a partner. Even when he immaturely would flirt with her on shift, tease her, blatantly but playfully check her out, she still never once genuinely got irritated with him.

So when the two of them started dating, the team wasn’t necessarily surprised. It was around that time a new recruit came into the 118. Edmundo Diaz, or as he likes to go by, Eddie. He was the missing piece the 118 needed. It felt like a full fledged family when Eddie showed up. He and Buck didn’t get along at first, but Y/N, being the effervescent force she is, managed to make them get along.

The team was amazing. Going on calls was a breeze because they all just worked so well together. Even team outings were an absolute blast because everyone got along. They are truly one big happy family.

Of course though, Eddie, Buck, and Y/N always had a deeper connection with each other than the others. Perhaps it’s because they’re so close in age, but they truly just clicked. When Eddie originally showed up to the firehouse, he wasn’t oblivious to how genuinely beautiful Y/N is. Her infectious smile and booming laugh would catch any man or woman’s attention. He would have pursued her if Buck hadn’t already won that battle.

They were always relatively professional at the job. Out of the two of them, Buck seemed to have the hardest time keeping his hands off of her. Stealing kisses here and there, smacking her behind when he thinks no one’s looking. They were happy, and anyone with eyes could see it.

At least until Taylor Kelly came into the picture.

When they got the call that her news helicopter had a mechanical failure, no one really thought anything would’ve came out of it. Y/N was pretty much in the midst of all of it, being the one to pull Taylor out of the situation while the rest of the group helped her crew and got the copter under control.

However, despite Y/N saving her life, the redheads attention was solely focused on Buck. Something that not only Y/N noticed, but the rest of the team.

It only got worse when Taylor showed up to the firehouse, claiming she would be following the 118 crew around until she felt comfortable enough to go back into the sky. Not only was Bobby annoyed, but Y/N wasn’t too thrilled to be seeing her around. Especially with the way she’s been paying special attention to her boyfriend.

Now, Y/N has never been the jealous type. She knows Buck is good looking and that other people are bound to think so too. Whenever they go out, there’s always one or two drunk individuals that try to slip him their number, but he’s never entertained any of them. After the whole Abby fiasco, his eyes have only ever been on Y/N.

That’s why she tried her hardest to ignore Taylor’s persistent behavior. She also tried to ignore how much Buck seemed to enjoy the attention. She had to remind herself of how much she loves and trusts Evan Buckley. Still, some reassurance would’ve been nice.

Anytime she’d talk to Hen and Athena about it, they’d share a look before saying that it’s just Buck’s personality. He’s a flirty guy. But that he’s never been as committed to someone as he is to her. That was always nice to hear. Even Chimney and Bobby found small ways to tell her that she has nothing to worry about.

That’s why it stung so much to walk into her apartment, one that she asked Buck to move into to get him out of Abby’s, only to find him and Taylor naked on her couch.

Her entire world crashed down around her that night. Neither of them seemed to even hear her walk in as they were still mid action and didn’t look like they were stopping anytime soon.

Y/N being as quick witted as she is, snapped a photo of their dalliance before spinning on her heel and slamming the door behind her. Anger, hurt, frustration, grief, any emotion someone could think of, she felt it that night. As soon as she got in her car, tears started flowing freely down her face. She had no idea what she was going to do with that photo. Some part of her just knew she needed proof, a reminder of what she just saw. Because she knows as soon as Buck comes crawling back to apologize, she’d forgive him in an instant.

That’s why she picked staying in her car for the night over going back there. Even though it’s her apartment, her safe space, she couldn’t bear going back. Not right now at least. Every single call he made went without an answer, all the texts, emails, all of it. She didn’t even bother to read.

Sleep didn’t come easy for the poor woman. In fact, it didn’t come at all. She simply stared out her front window, arms crossed as she buried herself deeper into her hoodie. So when the sun came out, Y/N couldn’t have been more relieved. Work was the one place where she wouldn’t have to confront this. Maintaining professionalism is of the utmost importance to her, so for the next twelve hours, she can shove all of these issues to the side.

Y/N walked into the 118 station that morning with an air of quiet fury. Her normally upbeat energy was replaced by a stiff, almost mechanical demeanor. The shift in her mood was impossible to miss. Her jaw was set, her eyes distant, and the usual lightness in her step was gone, replaced by rigid, purposeful movements. She walked past the common area without so much as a word, heading straight to the locker room to stow her gear.

The station was never completely quiet, but as Y/N entered, it felt like the atmosphere shifted, as though everyone unconsciously held their breath. Bobby was the first to notice her as she passed by his office.

“Morning, Y/N,” he greeted her, his usual warm smile in place. But Y/N, normally quick with a bright ‘Good morning,’ barely glanced his way.

“Hey, Cap,” she muttered, not slowing her pace. Her voice was flat, a stark contrast to her usual chipper tone.

Bobby frowned, watching her as she moved further into the station. He’d been a captain long enough to know when one of his firefighters was struggling with something, and Y/N’s behavior set off alarm bells in his mind. She wasn’t being rude—she was too professional for that—but her unusually short response made it clear something was off.

Y/N reached her locker, tugging it open with more force than necessary. Her hands moved quickly as she shoved her bag inside, not caring that it landed haphazardly. She was wound so tightly that every movement seemed deliberate, controlled, like she was holding back a flood of emotions threatening to escape.

Hen, who had been watching from the other side of the room, approached carefully. She knew Y/N well enough to see that something was seriously wrong. Normally, Y/N would joke about the early mornings or make some witty comment to lighten the mood, but today, she was all business.

“Hey, Y/N,” Hen said softly, leaning against the lockers beside her. “You okay?”

Y/N paused, her hands gripping the edge of her locker door for a moment before letting out a sharp exhale. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied curtly, closing the locker with a loud clang.

Hen didn’t buy it, and neither did the rest of the team, who were now quietly exchanging glances from across the room. Chimney, watching from the doorway, nudged Eddie.

“Something’s definitely up,” Chim whispered. “She doesn’t look like she’s slept.”

Eddie’s gaze was fixed on Y/N, his brows furrowed in concern. She was usually the first to crack a joke, the one to bring energy into the room, but today, her whole demeanor was different. She was stiff, guarded, and Eddie could see the tension in her shoulders, the way she was holding herself together with an almost frightening precision.

“Y/N,” Eddie called out softly as he approached. “You sure you’re okay?”

Y/N glanced at him briefly before looking away, her lips pressed into a thin line. She appreciated the concern, but she didn’t want to get into it—not here, not now. “I’m fine, Eddie,” she said, her voice clipped but not harsh.

Eddie didn’t push, though his eyes stayed on her, worry etched in every line of his face. He knew Y/N well enough to know that ‘fine’ wasn’t fine at all.

As Y/N moved through the rest of her morning routine, the tension around her only grew. Her movements were brisk, efficient, but there was a hardness to her that wasn’t normally there. She didn’t engage in small talk, didn’t banter with the team like usual. The shift in her behavior was like a cloud hanging over the station, and everyone could feel it.

Then Buck walked in, his entrance loud and hurried, as though he was already feeling the weight of the guilt on his shoulders. He looked disheveled, like he hadn’t slept, and his eyes immediately locked onto Y/N.

Her entire body tensed the moment he entered. She could feel his presence without even looking at him, the air between them thick with unresolved tension. She didn’t want to deal with this right now—especially not at work. But Buck, clearly desperate to make things right, approached her anyway.

“Y/N, can we talk? Please?” Buck’s voice was quiet but urgent as he moved toward her.

Y/N stiffened even more, her back straightening as she turned to face him. Her eyes were cold, and her lips pressed into a tight, thin line. “Now’s not the time or place, Evan.”

He flinches at the cold use of his first name, “Please, Y/N, I just… I need to explain,” he said, his voice cracking slightly as he took another step closer.

Y/N tenses, her grip tightening around the locker door. She swallows hard, mortified that he’s bringing this up here, in front of everyone. She glances around and sees Chimney and Eddie looking at Buck with something akin to disgust. Hen’s brow is furrowed in confusion, and even Bobby has stopped pretending to read the morning paper.

Y/N hesitated, hating that he’s cornering her in the only other place she thought she’d be safe. The woman was trying so hard to stay professional, but he wasn’t making it easy. She could feel the eyes of everyone in the station on her, and the last thing she wanted was to make a scene.

“Fine,” she muttered through gritted teeth, motioning for him to follow her to a quieter corner of the station.

Once they were away from the rest of the team, Buck wasted no time. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Y/N’s eyes flashed with anger, her composure slipping just a little. “You didn’t mean for it to happen?” she repeated, her voice low and dangerous. “You’re telling me you just accidentally ended up screwing Taylor on my couch?”

Buck winced at her words, his guilt written all over his face. “I—I wasn’t thinking. I was confused.”

“Confused?” Y/N’s voice was sharper now, her anger bubbling to the surface. “That’s your excuse? You didn’t know what you were doing?”

“I was in a bad headspace, Y/N. It just—” Buck struggled for words, clearly not understanding how badly he was making things. “It didn’t mean anything. You and me, we’re the real thing. That with Taylor… it was just a mistake.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, disbelief and fury warring in her chest. “A mistake?” she echoed, her voice trembling with the effort of holding back her rage. “No,” she scoffs. “No. No, a mistake is when you lose your keys. What you did was make a blatant choice without thinking of the consequences.”

Buck’s face flushed, and he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. Please, I can’t lose you.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you cheated on me!” Y/N snapped, her voice rising. The anger she had been holding back all morning finally erupted, spilling out into the open. Her words echoed through the station, drawing the attention of everyone around them.

Buck’s face paled as he realized the entire team had heard her outburst. He looked around, embarrassment flooding him, but Y/N didn’t care. She was too angry, too hurt to worry about how this looked.

“Y/N—”

“No, Buck!” she yelled, her hands trembling as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to stand here and pretend like it didn’t mean anything. You cheated on me. You lied to me. And now you want me to just… what? Forgive you because it didn’t ‘mean anything’?” She shakes her head, failing at stopping herself from making the situation worse. “You try to act like you’ve changed, but you’re still the same freakin’ playboy who had sex with every girl who paid him the slightest bit of attention.”

The station was dead silent. The rest of the team, though trying not to stare, couldn’t help but listen to every word.

Buck’s mouth opened and closed as he struggled for a response, but nothing came out. The weight of Y/N’s words seemed to hit him all at once, and the guilt that had been simmering beneath the surface came crashing down on him.

Before Buck could say anything else, Y/N shook her head, her voice breaking. “I can’t do this anymore. I– I just– I can’t. We’re done.”

And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away, her heart pounding, her face flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment.

The silence in the station hung heavy until Hen was the first to break it, her voice firm. “What the hell, Buck?”

Chimney sighed, his disappointment evident. “You messed up, man. You don’t do that to someone like Y/N.”

Bobby, usually the voice of reason, stepped in, his tone stern. “You need to figure out how you’re going to make this right. But more importantly, you need to take responsibility for your actions, Buck. This wasn’t just a mistake. It’s a breach of trust. We don’t do things like that to each other.”

Buck looked around, his face pale as he realized just how badly he had screwed up. But it was Eddie who delivered the harshest blow. He stepped forward, his eyes blazing with barely concealed anger.

“You had something good, Buck,” Eddie said, his voice low but full of emotion. “And you threw it away. She deserved better than that. Better than you.”

Buck’s face fell, the weight of Eddie’s words hitting him like a punch to the gut. Eddie never spoke like that—especially not to his friends—but this was different. This was Y/N. And Eddie wasn’t just mad—he was furious.

As Buck stood there, looking like the ground had been ripped out from under him, Eddie turned on his heel and followed Y/N outside. He found her pacing near one of the firetrucks, her hands shaking as she tried to calm herself down.

“Y/N,” Eddie called out softly.

She paused, glancing up at him, her eyes red and glassy. “I’m fine,” she muttered, though it was clear she wasn’t. She won’t let any actual tears fall. Not here. Not at work. She can’t lose it.

Eddie sighs before taking a gentle step forward. He stops her pacing by grabbing her hands as delicately as possible. He can feel the furious energy buzzing through her skin. It’s a rage similar to his own. As he looks into her gorgeous (e/c) eyes, his anger morphs into pain. His heart aches at how broken she looks. She trusted Buck with every fiber of her being and he took it for granted. He took her for granted. How could he throw away such a beautiful soul?

“No, mariposa, you’re not,” he shakes his head. His deep chocolate gaze makes her shoulders slump. Her tense posture falls, knowing that there’s no point in lying to him. For whatever reason, Eddie has always been able to read her like an open book. She couldn’t keep secrets with him. He knew them before she even knew herself. “Everything that happened in there… that’s not fine. So please, don’t pretend with me.”

Y/N finally forced herself to open up. She exhales shakily, blowing a big puff of air out as she laughs brokenly. A small sniffle escapes her, “It just… hurts, y’know? I mean, I kinda picked up on something weird with them, but I thought I was just being paranoid,” she looks back down at her boot-clad feet. “I try not to be jealous, I feel like it makes me look crazy. But… I guess I should’ve trusted my gut.” She sends a halfhearted glare over at Buck who’s still standing in the middle of the fire station, trying to avoid everyone’s wrath. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey,” Eddie stops her, a serious look on his face. He moves one hand to cup her chin, forcing her to look back at him. “You are not the idiot in this situation. He is,” he nods in Buck’s direction. “He didn’t see the amazing woman he had right in front of him. He’s the biggest damn idiot in the world for losing you.”

Y/N feels like she can let her walls crumble around Eddie. There’s something about the way his strong presence grounds her, silently reassuring her that he’s there, that he’s supporting her. She relaxes into his soft touch, “I just… I don’t know what I’m gonna do now. I mean, he lives with me.”

Eddie hesitates for a moment before pulling her fully into him, wrapping his arms around her as she rests her head on his chest. “Well, the best answer I can give you is that you continue being you. And trust me, there’s someone out there who’s going to see how incredible you are and never take it for granted. Someone who would treat you like the gem you are.” He pauses before planting a soft kiss on her forehead, “And if you want, you can always stay with Chris and I until he gets all of his stuff cleared out.”

Y/N looks up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I think I might take you up on that.” She swallows, trying to keep herself together. “But… what if I don’t want to go through all of that again? Maybe I’m not meant to find anyone else. What if I’m just…done with relationships?”

Eddie’s expression softened even further. He knew how hard this was for her, and part of him hated seeing her in so much pain, especially because of someone like Buck. But he also knew she was stronger than she gave herself credit for. “You’re not done, Y/N. You’re just hurt right now. But you’ll heal, and when you’re ready, you’ll move on. And when that happens, you’ll find someone who’s going to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

Y/N searched his face for a moment, her breath catching in her throat. There was something in the way Eddie was looking at her—something she hadn’t noticed before. A tenderness, an intensity that made her heart skip a beat.

She blinked, trying to shake off the feeling. Now wasn’t the time. “Thanks, Eddie,” she whispered, her voice shaky but sincere.

He gave her a small smile, his hand lingering near hers for just a moment longer before he stepped back. “Anytime.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, the air between them charged with something unspoken. Eddie wanted to tell her that he was there for her in more ways than just friendship, but he knew this wasn’t the right moment. Y/N had just been through hell, and she needed space to heal.

But he also knew that if she ever needed him—really needed him—he’d be there without hesitation.

Before Y/N could respond, the station doors opened, and Hen walked out, giving them both a look. “Everything alright out here?”

Y/N straightened up, wiping her face quickly and nodding. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Hen gave her a knowing look but didn’t push. “Alright. We’re heading out for a call in a few minutes, so just wanted to make sure you were ready.”

Y/N took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the day ahead. “I’m ready,” she said, her voice more steady now.

Hen nodded and headed back inside, leaving Y/N and Eddie standing there in the quiet. Eddie looked at her one last time, his eyes filled with a silent promise. “You’ve got this.”

Y/N nodded, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. I’ve got this.”

As they walked back inside together, the weight of the day ahead still heavy on Y/N’s shoulders, she knew that it was going to take time to fully heal. But with Eddie by her side and the support of the rest of her team, she knew she wasn’t facing it alone.

And as for Buck? She wasn’t sure what the future held, but one thing was clear: she deserved better than what he had given her. And one day, she’d find it. But for now, she’d focus on what she did best—being a damn good firefighter and an even better person.

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Working a twelve hour shift on absolutely no sleep had to have been the worst decision Y/N could have made. It’s not that she isn’t capable of doing her job, it’s just her emotions were already on overdrive after seeing Buck, but now that exhaustion is kicking in, it’s not good for anyone.

She pulls the hair tie out of her hair as she grabs the remaining items from her locker. Her eyes travel over to Eddie who is already waiting by the entrance of the firehouse for her. He sends her a small smile and she returns it, a small flutter in her chest catching her off guard. Y/N internally scolds herself for staring too long. She’s always found Eddie attractive, but she just got out of a relationship with Buck. Now is not the time to be casting ogling glances to Eddie.

She slings her bag over her shoulder before heading out of the locker room. Thankfully, she has enough clothes in her bag for the next few days to bring to Eddie’s so she doesn’t have to go back home. She bids a proper goodbye to everyone, narrowly avoiding Buck who just walked out of the showers. He looks like a wounded puppy when he watches Y/N walk away.

He walks away dejectedly, trying to avoid the angry stares from the rest of the team. Y/N feels a certain level of safety as she continues growing closer to the Diaz man. To her dismay though, someone felt the need to disrupt her journey.

Taylor.

“Y/N, can I speak with you for a moment?” She asks, tilting her head in a way that makes Y/N clench her jaw.

“I don’t really think that’s a good idea,” Y/N replies smoothly.

Taylor persists, “I’m just asking for a second of your time.”

“To interview me professionally or to try and explain why you were butt ass naked on my couch?” Y/N raises a confrontational eyebrow, yet her tone remains collected. Taylor purses her lips, trying to fight off her own embarrassment as more people in the firehouse look over to them. Eddie takes a few steps closer, getting ready to intervene if needed.

“Look, you have every right to be angry–”

“Oh, I know,” Y/N nods, crossing her arms. “I don’t need your permission or you to tell me I have the right to do anything.”

Taylor sucks in a deep breath, clearly getting impatient. “I just think that maybe you’re being too hard on Buck. He really was in a rough place. I think you owe it to him to hear him out.”

“Really?” Y/N lets out a humorless laugh. “I owe him? Oh sweetheart, I don’t owe anyone anything,” she shakes her head, taking a step forward with a condescending smile. “He made his bed, or in this case, the couch, so now he can lay in it,” she shrugs nonchalantly. Y/N looks Taylor up and down before scoffing, “You two deserve each other…” she grumbles before shoulder checking the journalist and finishing her journey over to Eddie.

He watches her with an impressed look on his face, “How’d that feel?” He asks with a small grin.

“So good,” Y/N breathes out with a victorious sighs. “If I could’ve punched her without getting fired, I would have.”

Eddie chuckles, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he walks her out of the firehouse. “You’re too professional for that.”

“Yeah… I suppose,” Y/N leans into his side.

“Hey, why don’t you ride home with me?” Eddie suggests. “Since you’re staying at my place, we could just carpool in the morning.”

“I can’t just leave my car here,” Y/N says logically.

“You can get it tomorrow,” he brushes off, guiding her over to his vehicle. “C’mon… it’ll be fun. I’ll let you play Hamilton on the way,” he grins, knowing that’ll get her to say yes.

Y/N sighs reluctantly but ultimately ends up hightailing it towards Eddie’s car. It makes her flush at the thought that he pays that much attention to her and the things she likes. She loves musicals and everything related to theatre. It’s a guilty pleasure she’s had since middle school.

The moment they walked into Eddie's house, Christopher came sprinting toward them, his excitement contagious.

“Y/N!” he called, throwing his arms around her waist. “Are you staying over?”

“For a little while,” Y/N said, ruffling his hair. “Think you can put up with me?”

Christopher grinned. “Only if we make cookies.”

Y/N looked at Eddie, raising a brow. “That okay with you, Chef Diaz?”

Eddie smirked, leaning casually against the doorframe. “I guess I can allow it. But don’t think you’re getting out of clean-up duty.”

Christopher grabbed Y/N’s hand, dragging her toward the kitchen. “C’mon! I already know where the chocolate chips are!”

Eddie followed, shaking his head with amusement as he grabbed an apron. “You’ve got him wrapped around your finger,” he teased.

“Oh, please. He’s the boss around here,” Y/N shot back, tying her own apron and bumping Eddie lightly with her hip.

As they worked, the kitchen buzzed with laughter and lighthearted banter. Y/N and Eddie stood shoulder-to-shoulder at the counter while Christopher focused on cracking eggs without shell casualties. Y/N nudged Eddie when she caught him sneaking a handful of chocolate chips.

“You’re supposed to bake with those,” she said, trying to snatch the bag away.

“You’re the one who ate half the dough at the station,” Eddie countered, leaning closer with a playful smirk. “Hypocrite much?”

“Someone had to test it for poison,” she shot back, their faces just inches apart. She realized too late how close they were, her breath catching at the warmth in his eyes.

Eddie cleared his throat, stepping back as he tossed the chips into the mixing bowl. “Poison control. Got it,” he said, his voice quieter now.

Christopher’s cheerful commentary broke the moment, and Y/N refocused, though her heart raced.

Later, as the cookies baked, the three of them sprawled on the couch with mugs of milk and plates of their handiwork. They watched Moana, singing along at Christopher’s insistence, and Y/N felt herself sink into the comfort of it all—a fleeting glimpse of a life she hadn’t realized she wanted.

By the time Christopher went to bed, yawning through his goodnight hug, Y/N felt exhaustion settle over her. Eddie walked back into the living room with a blanket slung over his shoulder.

“You take my bed,” he offered, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Eddie,” Y/N protested, “don’t be ridiculous. I can sleep out here.”

“I wasn’t asking,” he said with a crooked grin, tossing the blanket onto the couch.

She hesitated, looking up at him. “I mean… we could just share. Your bed’s big enough, right?”

Eddie froze for a beat, his brows lifting. “You’re serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Y/N shrugged, trying to sound casual, though her cheeks burned.

He exhaled and nodded. “Alright, but if you snore, I’m kicking you out.”

Later, lying side by side in the quiet of Eddie’s room, Y/N broke the silence. “I thought Buck was the one,” she admits quietly, her eyes falling as she thinks about everything that’s transpired in the past twenty-four hours. “And, y’know, maybe he was… for a while.” She turned her head, meeting Eddie’s steady gaze in the dim light. “But I’d be lying Eddie if I said I never thought about you,” her voices comes out in a whisper, almost like she’s scared of how he’ll react.

Eddie didn’t answer right away, his expression softening. Then, before she could second-guess herself, he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was slow, deliberate, and unguarded, carrying loads of unspoken feelings. When his hand slid to her waist and she deepened the kiss, Eddie pulled back suddenly, resting his forehead against hers.

“Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough. “I can’t… I don’t want to take advantage of you. Not after everything with Buck.”

She nodded, her chest tightening with a mix of disappointment and admiration. “You’re a good man, Eddie.”

He smiled faintly. “I’m trying to be.” A small chuckle leaves his lips, “Believe me, it’s not easy. Not with you here, like this,” he gestures to the closeness between them. “I’ve thought about this more than I’d like to admit. Probably an embarrassing amount of times. And while I would love to continue what just happened, I can’t do that to you. Not when your heart just got broken.”

Y/N reaches over to cup his cheek, “Then maybe you can help me figure out how to fix it.”

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Over the next few weeks, their connection only grew stronger.

At the station, Eddie would appear beside her with coffee, their hands brushing in ways that felt intentional. Y/N’s laugh came more easily around him, and the team couldn’t help but notice. Hen caught Eddie sneaking glances more than once, and Chimney started placing bets with Bobby about when Eddie would make his move.

At Eddie’s house, Christopher treated Y/N like part of the family. She helped him with homework, played board games, and joined them for Sunday dinners. Eddie would lean against the doorway, watching them, his heart full.

Things finally felt good for Y/N. Like every single piece of her life fit perfectly. She was getting over Buck while still getting along well with the team. She’s been spending a lot of amazing time with Eddie and Chris. She absolutely loves the little boy. It’s like being apart of them and their routine was that little spark she was missing before.

One evening, after dropping Christopher off at a friend’s house, Eddie finally asked her out. “Y/N,” he began, his voice tinged with nervousness. “What would you say if I wanted to take you out for real? Like a date.”

Y/N smiled, her heart soaring. “I’d say it’s about time.”

Their first date was simple: dinner at a small Mexican restaurant Eddie loved, followed by a walk under the stars. They talked for hours, and when Eddie kissed her goodnight, it was everything she’d been waiting for.

Back at the station, their relationship became the team’s favorite topic. Hen teased them mercilessly, and even Chim couldn’t resist joining in. Buck, though initially uncomfortable, eventually came around, admitting that Eddie made Y/N happy in a way he hadn’t.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be—with Eddie, with Christopher, with a future that finally felt whole.

[karenandhenwilson]

I love how in 8x05 we see the start of Tommy's journey to be integrated into the 118 family. Something we haven't seen happen with any of the LI of Eddie or Buck (who are coincidentally the only ones who'd ever had to deal with LI outside the 118 family since it existed the way it does now).

We were reminded of the friendship between Tommy and Eddie this episode for everyone who forgot how that went in 7x04 and somehow missed the fact in 8x01 when Tommy was there for Chris' birthday as someone who actively helped prepare the decorations and not just some random and out-of-place guest. The only time in the past when we saw anyone trying to be integrated into the Buckley-Diaz dynamic was with Taylor. In the first scene of that (Treasure Hunt) Eddie was clearly the third wheel in the situation. In the second scene of that Taylor and Eddie's discomfort was so glaring it hurt.

This time with Tommy, though, all three bounced off of each other, interacting in a very easy and open way. No one was left out of the scene, even when Tommy and Eddie fell over themselves laughing about Buck believing he was cursed.

There has only been one time (other than Abby, but that's a different story) when they tried to show either Buck or Eddie's LIs interact with the 118 family group. That was when Ana came to the 118 during the blackout. And what we got from that scene was how uncomfortable Eddie was with having her in that space, foreshadowing even more where that relationship was heading.

This time with Tommy, though, no one was uncomfortable with him being at the hospital while they all waited for news about Denny. We also saw another moment of the Eddie and Tommy friendship. And we saw Tommy sitting in the middle of the group with the way Buck and he were seated.

And yes, sure, we were also reminded that Tommy isn't (yet!) fully part of the group when everyone got the text from Hen. But in the whole context of the episode, that moment actually has two purposes: First, it leads Buck to understand how he can lift his curse. (You know guys, this would be a proper point to use the term "plot device" ;) ) Two, it's prime foreshadowing that we're heading into the journey of Tommy fully integrating into the group, more than he already was with the placing in the waiting room.

Not feeling as a part of any group has been a recurring theme for Tommy in season 7 and season 8. And considering we how saw Hen and Chimney going out for drinks with Tommy in the flashbacks of season 2, Tommy and Chimney excitedly playing off of each other with movie quotes, and Hen throwing him the kind of party she likes to throw for her friends, it's something I think Tommy feels about himself without it being quite true. I think it might very well be something we'll learn more about, and hopefully, even something we'll see Tommy overcome with the support of Buck and Eddie and the 118 family.

[house-elf-magic]

Buddie Royalty AU… kinda

Idea: instead of a presidency, America has a monarchy, and Helena and Ramon Diaz have just stepped down as king and queen following King Ramon’s heart attack. Eddie reluctantly takes the throne at his parents’ behest, though they seem to be constantly hovering over his shoulders, waiting for him to mess up. Unfortunately, they’ve also talked him into this silly… competition? No, everyone was calling it The Choosing.

Eddie was to pick from the women candidates ages 25-35 his new wife and new mother of his son Christopher. Each candidate was to bring just one friend or family member along for support during the following weeks when he would choose the best woman for the job.

Just barely securing a spot through her parents’ signing her up against her will… Maddie Buckley, three years’ widowed after she killed her abusive ex in self-defense. Contractually obligated to see it through, Maddie chooses Buck as her person.

The thing is: Maddie doesn’t want to win.

The thing is: Eddie doesn’t want a woman.

The thing is: Buck loves kids and maybe really likes this one’s dad.

The thing is: Prince Christopher loves his new friend Bucky.

Enter Eddie and Buck falling in love at perhaps the worst time, Chris making a new best friend, political schemers trying to end the Diaz dynasty, Isabel Diaz trying to help her son and grandson find true happiness, Ramon and Helena being a pain per usual, and Head-Advisor-to-the-Throne Athena Grant-Nash being utterly fed up with everyone’s bullshit.

Some story beats:

- Chim is the on-staff head emergency medic. Once he, Maddie, and Buck meet, he sneaks them into some of the more restricted sections like the library or staff gym

- Buck meets Chris in the library after Christopher ditches his new tutor (Mrs. Flores?). They become quick friends, but, since Chris has been kept almost entirely out of the public eye, Buck doesn’t know who Chris is for a while

- Buck and Eddie meet by accident in the palace. They try to stay away from each other for very obvious reasons but are drawn to each other like magnets and form a clandestine relationship with a fast-approaching deadline

- Helena and Ramon are trying to lead The Choosing so Eddie will pick an appropriate woman to be his queen, like lovely Miss Marisol

- Eddie throws out most of his old advising team and restaffs with people he trusts, promoting Athena to Head Advisor since he knows she isn’t under his parents’ thumb and is damn good at her job

- Eddie hates the throne and Chris does too, but he doesn’t see a way out until Chris is accidentally poisoned when the political dissenters were trying to kill Eddie. Buck catches it quick enough from his firefighting work and ensures Chris gets an epipen in time

- Eddie decides it’s the final straw and he’s choosing this family he’s made with Buck once and for all, so he calls a press conference after talking with Athena and announces her as regent in his place

- Eddie steps down with Chris and goes to live with Buck as civilians. Maybe he takes on a dispatch role to support Buck without anyone seeing his face. Chris goes to real school and thrives socially. Buck proposes only a few months later :)

Someone else is welcome to write this fic! I don’t have the bandwidth right now to do it justice, but I hope someone does and makes it their own! Free to use with credit

[mazzystar24]

actually the hospital wing joke is starting to bother me a lot more because buck actually fucking died 😭and he didnt even change clothes from being at the hospital all day why would you say that to someone. ik it was a fakeout but bobby looked like he was fr coding on the table. and like just a couple weeks before chimney almost died?? like im sorry i only accept those kinda jokes from people who have known me for years and even then they can be a little upsetting.

thats the thing though!!!! id be perfectly fine with buck and tommy if they gave us more than actual crumbs. 709 felt like buck had more chemistry with ravi in the same scene that tommy was in! they’re supposed to be dating so why do they feel like colleagues? and why are the more emotional and vulnerable scenes getting given to EDDIE if they want me to support buck and tommy as a couple? why wasnt tommy at the hospital with them considering he’s said multiple times he wishes he had a family like the 118 does? why are the only times hes on screen now only establishing his jealousy and that gerrard exists? is that the only reason why hes still here?

actually i wanna get back to 706. it wouldve been so easy to keep tommy there but they wrote him out of most of the episode 😭 he couldve said for the bachelor party! he couldve helped them find chimney! he couldve done literally ANYTHING. chimney was confused as hell as to why he even showed up at the wedding at all 😭 but no!!! they had him show up, ignore what buck wanted, then leave so we could have buck and eddie performing their drunk mating rituals or whatever 🤸‍♂️ but yeah buddie who?

also im never letting go of the wedding singer comment btw because what was that. why did they make tommy reference a movie where the two leads in the ROMANTIC COMEDY start the story dating the wrong people. i feel insane about it actually. also him calling buck evan will forever confuse me until we get an actual acknowledgement in canon because literally why

and the humor falls so flat but eddie has the same type of humor and it never does. he was making fun of buck in 706 (the making chimneys wedding about him line) but it never actually felt serious to me?

anyway sorry for yelling in your inbox i have a lot of mixed emotions about this season -birthmark anon

Yes totally get that like I’m the same like me and my best friend will be saying downright horrendous trauma jokes to eachother that make people around us clutch their pearls but I feel like it takes a certain level of rapport to get to trauma joke level - ig not everyone is the same when it comes to that but I think that again the writers absolutely failed to give us enough bucktommy scenes that justify having this kinda line

AGHSKF NOT THE BUCK /RAVI AHJDKFKF 😭😭😭 THIS IS ESPECIALLY FUNNY WHEN YOU SEE THE BUCKTOMMY SCENE AT THE CEREMONY VS THOSE BUCKLEY DIAZ FAMILY STILLS (still bitter the scene got cut) like someone explain to me why the actual couple is coming across less couple-y

ALSO FR THO THE SARDONIC ENERGY IS JUST NOT BEING BALANCED RIGHT like it’s coming across more 🧍

Like i can’t remember who I was talking to the other day but I was saying like this 🧍emoji just embodies Tommy to me

EXACTLYYYYY LIKE PURELY UNHINGED TO HAVE SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE AND MAKE NO EFFORT TO USE THOSE EMOTIONAL BEATS TO DEVELOP THEIR DYNAMIC BUT INSTEAD CONTRAST THAT WITH THE VULNERABILITY BETWEEN BUCK AND EDDIE THIS EPISODE

AHSJKF we going back to 7x06 and that’s so valid of us AGSJKF DRUNK MATING RITUALS AHJDKFKF STOP IM CACKLING

THE WEDDING SINGER COMMENT HAUNTS ME ISTG BECAUSE EVERY NOW AND THEN ILL REMEMBER THIS COSTUME DETAIL AND WAKE UP IN A COLD SWEAT:

THE CALLING HIM EVAN THING I LEGIT MADE LIKE THREE THEORIES ON RANGING FROM POSITIVITY TO NEGATIVITY

YES ABOUT THE HUMOUR like there just isn’t that balance or lightness to even the joke out, like I’m a big dry humour and sarcastic girlie but it’s just not being delivered right in a way idk if it’s the writing or the acting or just the fact its most his very small screentime but it’s just falling flat to me

Never apologise for yelling in my inbox babe and same for the mixed emotions

Love ya birthmark anon byee 🫶🫶

[sarahsmi13s]

Bloodstained Sandbags

whumptober day 1 : bloody knuckles

pairing: eddie diaz x reader

characters: eddie diaz, fem!reader, christopher diaz, evan buckley, scott (oc)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, nightmares, panic attacks, crying, blood, disassociation, SA (not in vivid detail, but it is spoken about), language, caretaking, PTSD, resetting a dislocated shoulder, talks of therapy, mentions of underground fighting, please tell me if i missed any

word count: ~5.6k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: healing is draining and you're trying everything you can to stay afloat... can a new workout routine help keep you above water as you support eddie through his trauma while you work through your own?

You really thought that when Eddie started working at the dispatch center, things were going to get better for you. You thought you would sleep better, your nightmares fading away as you always had your protector next to you now. You were safe, no one could hurt you with Eddie at your side.

But it didn’t seem to matter, because you couldn’t close your eyes without being back in that damn break room – the break room you no longer set foot in.

It was like even though you knew you were safe with Eddie… a sick, twisted part of you kept reminding you that Eddie wouldn’t always be there to protect you.

And the thing was, Eddie had no idea. 

No idea that you were struggling. That for months you were feeling sick to your stomach everytime you got up to get ready for work. That you wanted his touch but had a mini panic attack every time he touched you when you weren’t expecting it.

But he had no idea what happened to you either. You were afraid to tell him. Afraid he’d leave you, though logically you knew he would never do that. 

Except there wasn’t a good time to tell him, either. He was having a hard time with his PTSD and you were doing the best you could to help him while also trying to keep yourself above water.

Which is why you started going to the gym… The sweating, the adrenaline, all of it just made you feel stronger.

And that’s where you picked up on learning to fight, you wanted to be ready. Ready to protect yourself or Christopher if the situation presented itself and Eddie wasn’t around.

You sighed as you walked into yours and Eddie’s apartment, your body stiff and sore from your workout. You managed to scrape your knuckles just a little bit too but it wasn’t too noticeable.

You hung your purse up and set your gym bag down. “Eddie? Chris?”

You heard Eddie’s voice come from the kitchen. “We’re in here, Honey!” 

You smiled and walked into the kitchen, seeing them at the table. “How are my boys?” You went over and kissed them both on the head, “I’m sorry if I made you wait, I got really in the zone at the gym and the traffic was a monster.” 

“Oh it’s no problem, I was just getting started on the veggies. Why don’t you go shower and it should be ready by the time you're done,” Eddie said as he stood and kissed the side of your head before returning to cutting the vegetables. 

You nodded at him before ruffling Chris’s hair, “Do you have any homework you need help with?” He nodded, “Yeah, math stuff.” “Alrighty, I’ll help you after dinner, okay?” “Okay.”

Smiling, you kissed his head again before going to take a shower.

Once you went into the bathroom, you were all too ready to peel the sweaty gym clothes off of you.

Your leggings peeled off with a wet sound, and if someone heard it they would have thought that you jumped into the ocean with your clothes on. The collar of your cutout t-shirt was soaked enough that you could ring it out. Your sports bra was practically the same way.

“I went way harder than I thought…” you mumbled to yourself as you dropped your clothes into a pile and checked the temperature of your shower.

Scalding hot, just like you liked it.

You stepped under the water, wincing slightly at the initial bite of the heat on your skin. But as you stood there under the water both the heat and pressure seemed to massage your muscles, allowing you to relax.

The shower was the only way you could get a massage, it was the only place you allowed yourself to feel vulnerable.

And you never went to a masseuse at all because Eddie was enough. But now, after everything that happened, the idea of being pinned under someone with your back exposed and their hands on you like that could send you into a panic attack.

He had tried once after he started his therapy sessions, realizing he had been neglecting you and wanted to help you work out the soreness of your muscles. 

But you were fighting a panic attack the whole time. You had to hold a conversation with him and ask him to not put his full weight on you. He cooperated without question of course and then you sat and chatted about your day.

Though you haven’t let him do it since, fearing that you would be able to hold it together and freak out on him.

Showers were your source of muscle relaxation. So that’s why you stood there, water pressure on pulse and heat turned up to hell.

When you felt satisfied, you turned the temperature down and finished your shower, ending with a cold rinse just to soothe your skin before getting out and getting dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Eddie’s shirts then joining the boys for dinner.

Eddie watched you wash dishes with a smile on his face as he leaned against the fridge.

He had cleaned out the sink, putting plates, bowls, utensils, and cups into the dishwasher while you were helping Chris with homework. But now you were working on pots and pans because they just didn’t fit in the dishwasher with the other things, often needing to be washed separately – and that took too long for your liking.

So after getting Chris settled down in his room, Eddie came back to watch you, wanting to spend alone time with you since you rarely got that lately. 

Not that he was necessarily mad about it, he respected boundaries when and where you set them – no questions asked.

But he was pulled to action when he heard you wince, taking a step and a half to meet you as you turned for a towel.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, holding your hand as you dabbed it dry, wincing as you did so.

You shook your head, not answering him as you took the towel away to blow on the raw skin of your busted knuckles. You had gotten lemon juice and salt on them from cleaning the cutting board you had used this morning, and it hurt like a bitch.

Eddie froze for a second. Where had you gotten bruised and scraped up knuckles from? You hadn’t had those this morning…

In a quick scan, he checked you over for injuries. If you had a bruised cheekbone or black-eye that he somehow missed during dinner. But you were clean, so he could cross fight off the list. 

“Nena… what happened?” 

His voice was gentle as he took the towel away from you and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles. He was worried, because last time he started coming home with busted knuckles he was underground fighting…

But you wouldn’t do that? Would you?

“I was at the gym and I scraped it, not a big deal.”

He nodded and rubbed his thumb gently over it. “Let me finish the dishes.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Eddie was going to finish the dishes, and he wasn’t going to argue.

You sighed and moved out of the way, letting him take over but you didn’t leave and instead wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. After your day at work and then going so hard at the gym, you need this comfort. The domesticity of it all, the safety of it all.

Over the next few weeks things seemed to be getting a little better. Sure, you were still having nightmares and coming home with slightly bruised knuckles but Eddie’s surprise touches didn’t spook you anymore. You were also considering becoming more intimate with Eddie again as he seemed to be doing better as well and was seeking out the contact again. 

Things were just slowly coming back to normal, well as normal as the could be, but things were getting better

But then something happened at work, and it set all of your progress back.

You were walking to your desk from the supply closet with more file folders, since you were doing some re-organizing and needed new ones, when you bumped into someone.

They caught you before you fell, steadying you with their hands on your waist. Huffing out a surprised laugh, you looked up to thank them but you nearly choked on air when you saw whose hands were on you.

Panic shot through you like lightning and you put distance between you and Scott immediately, not caring if it was rude or not.

“Woah, Y/N, you okay?” He asked, but the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips told you that he knew the answer. 

How could you be okay? After not seeing him that up close for months, then all of a sudden his hands are on you again and you’re back to being the weak little girl you were in the break room that night.

“S-S-Scott, I-I thought you were um late shift?” You stuttered, your eyes looking for escapes to your desk in your periphery. 

He put a hand in his pocket nonchalantly, attempting to lure you into a false sense of security, that that side of his body was safe to escape through – it wasn’t.

“Oh, I am, but I decided to come in on a Saturday. I needed another day on my paycheck since I took a day off this week.” 

You nodded, jaw setting and grinding your back teeth together as you tried to avoid looking at his face. “I see. Well Scott, if you’ll excuse me I need to get… get back to my desk.” You cursed yourself for starting so confident but then losing it as the breath just slowly got pulled from your lungs.

Scott just smirked. He could see the fear in your eyes and the cottonmouth you were getting just being in his presence. He thrived on it, knowing that corporate wasn’t going to follow up on the claim you made to HR and that you weren’t in a great position to quit so you had to stay for just a little longer.

But he just caught you one unlucky night where you had to stay late to finish a project, considering you didn’t work the night hours because you usually needed to be home with Chris because Eddie was working a shift. The one time Buck was off you took advantage of it and stayed late to catch up. 

And you haven’t stayed late since…

“Oh, by all means, don’t let me stop you, I was just on my way to get some coffee.”

You were trying so hard not to clam up and just bolt to your desk and pack up. But you calmly nodded and just squatted down to pick up the folders you dropped.

You hated having your back to him and your hands shook furiously as you collected the pale yellow folders.

“You look like you could use a break, why don’t you join me?” Scott’s voice was right in your ear. It was low and raspy as his hand gripped your shoulder.

Trying your best to just shrug it off, you shook your head. “No, I’m alright. I need to get back to work.”

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, “I insist.” His voice was demanding as his fingers curled around your joint and dug into your collarbone. 

Instantly your arm shot up and pushed him off you. “I said no.”

You scooped up the remaining folders and dignity and went toward your desk. Just to have fingers curled around your wrist and pulling you back into a hard chest. 

“I’m trying to be nice and you’re being a bitch.”

Rolling your lips between your teeth, you tried to yank your wrist away – twisting and pulling at his grip to get him to let go. “You just don’t know how to understand the word ‘no’. I don’t want coffee, I just want to go to my desk.”

You swallowed, finally looking in his eyes, shredding any last dignity you had. “Please Scott… you got what you wanted, just leave me alone… please…”

The canines he bared as he smiled wide made you sick to your stomach, but as he opened his mouth to speak his attention was pulled away and you took that chance to free yourself. You twisted your wrist and pushed the files into his chest before booking it to your desk.

After gathering your things and rushing to your manager’s office, pleading to her with shaky hands as you told her something had happened and you needed to get home to Chris.

She immediately let you leave, not questioning it as you thanked her and ran out to your car.

The drive home was a total blur, taking the turns on auto pilot as you tried not to break down before you were in the safety of your own home and not risking anyone else’s safety.

And when you finally got home, you were booking it to the fridge to get a cold water bottle to maybe shock your system into calming down. But in your haste you missed the fact that Buck and Chris are home, and not out at the aquarium like you thought they were.

Buck had heard you come in and watched you nearly trip over yourself to get to the kitchen, abandoning your purse and keys on the floor.

Chris had seen it too and looked at Buck concerned, having never once seen you like this. “Buck?” Buck ruffled Chris’s hair, “I’ll go see what’s up. You stay here okay?” Chris just nodded and watched Buck get up and go to the kitchen.

Buck went to the kitchen, finding you chugging the cold water as you white knuckled the counter.

“Y/N? You’re home early.”

The way you jumped, hand clenching around the bottle so hard that water shot out of it – it would have been comical had the dilated look in your wide eyes not set off alarm bells in Buck’s head. 

You watched, caught like a deer in headlights, as concern washed over Buck’s face and filled his eyes with pity. Immediately your back was turned to him, shielding your breaking resolve from his helping hand. 

With the blood pounding in your ears, you missed his approach until he was touching you. You jerked again under his touch, weakly muttering out, “P-please don’t touch me.” 

Buck’s heart sank. He had never heard you sound like this before… so broken…

It sent him back to the night Eddie had destroyed your room in a fit of helplessness, how terrified his best friend was. How you sat with Eddie, him now remembering your bruised knuckles encasing Eddie’s in an act of comfort.

“Y/N… what happened? What’s wrong?”

“No-nothing, just-just…”

He tried to turn you and get you to face him, to get a read on your face and figure out what to do. But you yelped and pushed him back, sending his stunned 6’2” frame into the table.

“Buck you need to leave…”

“Y/N-”

“Leave Evan!”

Buck swallowed, trying not to be hurt as he turned on his heel and went to say goodbye to Christopher.

You watched him leave the kitchen, your ears hot and tingling as you looked at the mess you made. You needed to clean it up before Chris came in here and slipped.

Hearing Buck close the front door, you carefully made your way to the laundry room to get a dirty bath towel to clean it up. Your vision tunneled, your ears rang and you felt that sick snag in your chest as the air was stopping half way down your throat.

By the time you get there your legs can barely hold you up as you get to the washer and sink down to the floor. Sobs are wracking your chest and you can only pray Chris can’t hear you.

But your prayers went unanswered, because Chris can hear you and he is scared. 

Your broken sobs and ragged breathing are reminding him of the night Eddie punched those holes in the wall… and the night you came home and took a long shower thinking Chris was asleep and couldn’t hear you crying through the wall.

Chris abandoned the video game in front of him and put himself on a mission to find you. He could follow the sound of your cries to where you were sitting on the cold floor, head between your knees as you tried to breathe regularly.

“Y/N?” He gently called out, hoping you could hear him.

He watched you thread your hands in your hair and pull at the roots, sucking in jagged breaths just for them to be forced out with the next sob.

He didn’t like seeing you like this and he hated that he wasn’t sure how to help. But he knew he had to try.

Chris called out your name again as he approached you, not wanting to scare you and send you further into your panic. You must have recognized his voice because you seemed to calm down just a bit. He sat down on the floor next to you and put his hands on yours on top of your head. 

“You’re safe, it’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” He recalled the phrases you had repeated to him when he was having trouble after the tsunami. He had to pull from what he was shown, he had barely anything to go off of and he just had to hope that it was enough.

With Chris putting his hands on yours, talking to you gently, you could feel yourself slowly calming down. His hands were so drastically different from the ones that had bruised your skin, that it managed to remind you that you were home and that you were safe.

“Please, Y/N…”

You look up at him slowly, your hands letting go of your hair and holding his hands. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” Chris moved your hands to his face, hoping that it can help to ground you.

Your thumbs immediately began to rub back and forth on his cheeks, him taking deep breaths to help you find a rhythm. “Follow me, Y/N. Just like you tell me…” 

Chris watched the fog clear from your eyes as you began to calm down and lean forward to press a kiss to his head as a thank you before resting your forehead on his. He wrapped his arms around you as best he could and you pulled him into your lap, your head falling to his shoulder.

You sat there for a bit in silence, rubbing Chris’s back as you managed to collect yourself.

“I’m sorry if I scared you, Chris. I didn’t mean to,” you apologized, breaking the silence. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and gentle as he pulled back a little. You’re nodding immediately, “I’m better now, thank you buddy.” 

“Do I need to call Dad?” 

You shook your head, “No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright.”

He nodded before tilting his head a little, “Why are you mad at Buck? Did he do something bad?” 

Your heart sank. He had heard you yell at Buck, and you hardly ever yelled around Chris – if ever. And now you’ve come home early, yelled at one of your best friends, and had a full blown panic attack with Christopher as a witness.

“Oh Chris… Buck didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I’m not mad.”

“Why did you yell at him?”

“I was just feeling a lot of things and it was just what happened. I could have handled it better and I will in the future,” you said gently as you pushed some of his curls back.

You sniffled a little bit, “Why don’t you go back to the living room and I’ll make you some lunch after I get changed?” You gave him the best smile you could and kissed his forehead after he nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Eddie had come home around 5:30 to you already finishing up on getting dinner ready. 

“Honey? What are you doing home?”

“Oh, I got the stuff I need to get done early so I decided to just come home,” you said nonchalantly with a shrug. 

He smiled and came up behind you to kiss your cheek before he went to get changed. But as he placed his hand on the small of your back, you jumped. 

Eddie’s brow furrowed, you had never reacted like that to him. But he didn’t get to ask you, because you turned your head and planted a kiss on his lips. “I love you, Eddie.” He smiled softly and kissed your forehead, “I love you too, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his shoulder, smelling his coffee and whiskey body spray. He hugged you back, albeit a little confused, but he could tell you needed this.

After a few moments, you pulled back, “Go get changed and cleaned up, I’ll have it plated for you by the time you get back.” He nodded and kissed your temple, “Yes ma’am.”

You smiled and pecked his jaw before he went to change.

When he came back, Eddie found you and Chris at the table, his plate made up for him just like you said it would be.

“It looks fantastic, Honey, thank you,” he said, announcing his presence before touching your shoulder and kissing the top of your head. You smiled at him, “Of course, Sweetheart.” He sat down next to you, his hand on your thigh, just resting there as you ate. 

You talked about his day and everything that went on – you having been getting his twitter notifications and just wanted a little more detail.

But when he turned and asked you about your day, you clammed up and just told him it was like any other day, you just skipped the gym today because you wanted to surprise him with dinner. And you left it at that, leaving no more room for conversation about your day.

After dinner you all went to the living room to watch movies before Chris went to bed. It was your weekend routine.

Except tonight you broke routine.

You decided that you wanted to go ahead and go to the gym, just to get a small workout in before you went to bed. So, after you did the dishes you got in your gym clothes and gave Chris a hug and Eddie a quick kiss before leaving.

It had all happened so quickly that Eddie didn’t get a chance to really slow you down and ask you what was up. This behavior was just so off to him that he just wanted an explanation.

And he did… just not from you.

After you lifted weights for God knows how long, you finally went over to the punching bag.

You had been on autopilot the moment you left the house. 

And yeah, you felt bad for just leaving Eddie hanging like that. Giving him no explanation other than you just wanted to. But you had been thrumming since your panic attack, using that energy on deep cleaning and laundry — too on edge to rest or sit still.

You needed an aggressive outlet for all that energy, you had to get to the gym.

So that’s where you’ve been. Lifting weights and running until near collapse. 

Now you were hastily wrapping your hands to take it all out on the punching bag. The poor inanimate object becoming the true outlet of your emotions, taking blow after blow as you wail on it. Your emotions from earlier in the day being released in the form of punches. 

You hated that Scott was able to revert you back to the scared girl you were that night, smothering all the progress you had thought you made.

The swinging sandbag in front of you felt like a wall as you hit it with every you had. Flashes of that night played behind your closed lids as you seemingly lost control.

You could feel his hands on you again, touching you with evil intentions. His hands mocked Eddie, tainted the loving touch of your boyfriend with his greediness. 

Your hips digging into the counter, bruised with the force of Scott pinning you in place. You couldn’t escape, you didn’t know how to escape.

With each moment flashing, each ghostly touch reminding you of what he did to you in the break room, you punched harder — oblivious to the pain shooting up your arm with each solid hit.

You couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop. 

You just wanted it all to go away.

And in those moments you didn’t feel the tears running down your cheeks, you were numb. You hadn’t noticed the break in your poorly wrapped tape, which allowed your bare knuckles to meet with the canvas bag.

The tears and dissociation blurred your vision and you were blind to the fact the red spots and streaks covering the rough beige fabric was your own blood.

You had broken the skin on your knuckles, staining the sandbag with your blood as tears stained your cheeks.

But when you land a particularly hard punch and your shoulder pops grotesquely next to your ear do you snap out of it.

“Oh fuck!”

Your curse was picked up by a nearby girl who had come in at the same time as you.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?!”

Your head whipped up to look at her and you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. 

You didn’t look good, covered head to toe in red splotches and sweat. You looked down at your knuckles and saw that your tape was practically non-existent and your hand was covered in crimson.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?”

You blinked and looked at the girl. “Yeah… yes yes I’m fine. I just… I need to go home. My boyfriend is probably worried.”

“Are you sure? That crack sounded bad…”

“Thank you for your concern but I’m alright. You have a good night and be safe, please.”

She could only nod as you quickly grabbed your bag and went out to your car.

You knew you’d be driving with just one arm and you really didn’t want to deal with an midnight ER on a Saturday night so you went straight home — knowing that you’d need Eddie.

Eddie sat in the living room, his knee bouncing with nerves as he waited for you to get home.

You hadn’t answered your phone and he was starting to get worried. With his line of work, he was already thinking the worst. Did you get into an accident? Did you get taken? He had his radio on the coffee table listening closely while he waited, hoping that he didn’t hear anything related to you come over the device.

Then he heard it. The front door opening and closing followed by keys in the bowl and a bag hitting the floor.

You were home, so at least there’s that relief.

He looked up and over as you walked by, arm cradling the other as you sniffled.

“Chris was worried about you.”

Eddie watched you tense, but you didn’t turn to face him.

He stood walking over to you. “He told me you had a panic attack when you came home today, you know, after you yelled at Buck to leave. Then you weren’t here when he went to bed. He knows something is wrong, and he’s worried it’s his fault.”

That made you turn, allowing Eddie to see the rush of tears on your face as you still cradled your arm.

“No, God no. This is nowhere near Chris’s fault.” Your voice was thick with emotion as you spoke and the realization dawned on you that you would have to tell Eddie everything.

“Did I do something? Because I thought we talked about things and worked things out. If I did, please tell me… I want to fix it… I can’t lose you…”

“Oh Eddie…”

“Please mi vida…” Eddie’s voice was soft and low as he rubbed your arms.

You covered your mouth, attempting to conceal the sob of pain and regret. But you couldn’t hide the small yelp or your bloody fist.

Concerned, Eddie put his hands on your shoulders, freezing when he felt the slipped ball and socket joint and you sobbed into your hand.

“Sweetheart?”

“Fix it… please, it hurts so bad…”

Eddie nodded and carefully got himself into position, “You ready?” “Just do i- AH!” Mid sentence, Eddie popped your shoulder back into place.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he soothed as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Eddie… I’m so sorry…”

He ran a hand through the hair at the back of your head, “Hey, lets get your hands cleaned up okay? Then we’ll talk, yeah?”

You nodded before stepping back, instinctively wiping your face with the back of your hand — smearing a little blood on your face.

Eddie tensed a little, that was the worst he’s seen your knuckles and it was starting to look suspicious to him. But you had come home the other times with no other injuries so he had no reason to question you about it.

But he could see clearly that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Eddie gently grabbed your hand and took you to the kitchen.

Without a word he sat you on the counter and grabbed the med kit from under the sink. 

You both stayed quiet as he dampened a towel and  cleaned you up, he inspected for tenderness and any signs of trauma to your hands other than the obvious.

Once he was done, you both sat in silence for a moment before you spoke up.

“It’s not what it may look like…”

“Oh yeah? Cause it looks like you’ve been fighting. I've seen the bruises on your knuckles but I don’t say anything because I didn’t want to assume. But after today I don’t know what to think.”

Your eyes fill with tears and you shake your head. “That’s not it, I swear. It’s just…” A weight settled on your chest as you realized this was the moment you would have to tell him and possibly change your relationship forever.

“Honey… please talk to me, I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

And with that the damn was broken and you sobbed into your hands.

Eddie gave you a moment to calm down, comforting you as best he could until you were ready.

Once you were composed, you spilled everything.

From you needing to stay late to you going to the break room for a snack to when Scott walked in and shoved your dignity in the paper shredder.

Eddie was listening intently, his rage rising in his body but he tried not to show it and keep a gentle expression for your sake. 

But hearing you, here and now, sounding so ashamed and scared. Recounting the night in detail. 

And he had been so caught up in the job change that he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t noticed that the love of his life was suffering because he wasn’t there. 

It wasn’t until his son came to him that he noticed something was wrong. 

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry,” you sobbed, clinging onto him. “It didn’t… I didn’t want it, please you have to believe me.”

He felt his heart shatter in his chest. 

You were begging for forgiveness for something that wasn’t your fault. 

“I believe you Sweetheart, I believe you.” 

He pulled back a little, “I-Is this why you’ve been going to the gym?” You nodded, whimpering a little as more tears filled your eyes, “You won’t always be there… and I just… I want to be ready to protect myself or Christopher.”

You held your hand up and flexed it a little, “I saw Scott for the first time since that night today at work, that’s why I had the panic attack. And I needed an outlet, I didn’t know I was bleeding until I dislocated my shoulder.”

Eddie wiped your eyes, “Y/N I’m so sorry I never noticed… I should have been there…” You shake your head, “I didn’t tell you Eddie, you were going through a lot and I didn’t want to add on…”

He frowned a little but kissed your forehead. It made him feel awful that you thought you couldn’t come to him. You were processing something alone while helping him get better and that wasn’t fair. 

“Would you be willing to go to a professional about this? For you and for us? Just so we can learn to get through this together,” he laced your fingers together and kissed your knuckles. 

You nodded and pressed your forehead to his, “I want to try.” You brought in a breath, “I have to quit my job…” 

He hummed and nodded against you, “Please quit, I make enough, we'll be okay. And we can pull from savings if we need to.”

“Thank you.”

Eddie nudged your nose with his, “I love you, so much.” 

You smiled softly and flattened your palm over his heart, “I love you too, Eds. So so much.”

He wrapped you in his arms and just held you there. Planting gentle kisses to your head and whispering little jokes in your ear to make you laugh.

And that’s when you knew that it would all be okay, that it would be better. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

As long as you had Eddie, you would be okay.

taglists: @bradleybeachbabe @valmare @fanboyswhore9 @cassiemitchell @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[scaredexpert]

Oof... I have to say that every single storyline in that episode was unsatisfying imo

Bobby waking up 30 mins into the episode and everyone just lightheartedly moving on?

Buck and Christopher didn't hug goodbye and Buck and Eddie also didn't hug?? This episode's Buckley-Diaz scenes were just kinda meh aside from Eddie telling Christopher goodbye (pls Christopher come back next season wahhh) and I liked seeing Eddie's parents be more supportive

Bucktommy scene was cute but there continues to be no chemistry between them so what's the point???

Madney taking in Mara in a truly flabbergasting series of events???? There's no way they'd be approved as a kinship home for Mara, and there is no possible way on this earth they would be licensed as foster caregivers that quickly. Also, if Ortiz's interference removed Mara from Henren, why would she not continue to interfere with Mara being placed with Madney? (As if such a person would even have influence in this situation in the first place.) I mean, I like that the outlook is positive now, so yay? This one might just be me because I work in foster care and I just know how things work, but it is so grating. Oh, also, there is no way Hen would be able to just march into the group home and see Mara. No. Way. A fabricated tale that doesn't exist. I know, I know, I know, it's tv. But they could have done a modicum of research :')

I thought we were supposed to get some kind of cliffhanger????? I mean, I guess?? I'm not feeling a lot of suspense lmao. Gerrard will be captain while Bobby figures out how to take the 118 back, there will be drama until suddenly it'll all be better again.

And lastly, Family Feud theory is bones </3 But if it turns out eventually that Eddie is queer, we will all know that Family Feud was always on our side lmao

Okay, I guess the one satisfying part was that Amir's character and intentions were finally made clear... he was so clearly innocent, just hurt. I appreciated his role in this season and the actor KILLED it.

Dang I'm just frustrated with this season's writing overall. Bi Buck is wonderful, but I can't say I enjoyed a lot else, but it seems like I'm in the minority idk! I understand it was only 10 eps though and I'm still glad we got the season. I'm a Buddie shipper btw, but if it doesn't go canon, I'll live. However... it seems almost like the writers themselves haven't even decided, and um... they need to decide and then they need to commit to what they decide. I've been saying that for a loooong time. Keeping it THIS open-ended and hinting around is a disservice to everyone at this point, I think. I just think they're scared to make a choice, honestly.

I'm relieved to hopefully not be thinking about 9-1-1 anymore for a few months, but I have to find a new lil hyperfixation for a while. Suggestions? Lmao and does anyone wanna talk about our feelings? 🥲

[acountrygirlsfun]

Facets of a Diamond

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz || Teen || 35k

Southern California is where Buck has spent the most time since leaving Pennsylvania. Of all the places he’s lived and worked over the last few years, this place is where he decided to stay. It’s why he picked LAFD: to put down some roots. It’s warm, has the ocean, and it’s the opposite coast of his parents. So if he’s going to be here for a while, he thinks he’ll need to make an effort to let people in. * The fic about Buck letting people at the 118 know him, knowing himself and also me fixing canon as I go along.

Even the best laid plans go awry, and Buck will be the first to admit this wasn’t his greatest plan. After getting fired and rehired on the same day, he realizes he might have taken  things a little too far. Buck knew he was getting a little desperate for some attention, but he didn’t know that would lead to a Tinder hookup convincing him to take a ladder engine out for a joyride in the middle of a shift. He’s honestly not sure how his actions helping Sergeant Grant were enough to get him his job back. What he does know is everything he currently needs, (encouragement, support, a little grace, maybe a quick hug if he’s totally honest) he could possibly already have from his coworkers if not for his plan. 

At 26, Buck knows by now that he’s a lot to be around. 

Physically, he’s taller than average, and even though he slimmed down from all the swimming during his time at SEAL training, he’s still pretty broad in the shoulders. But more than that, he knows if he doesn’t rein himself in, he can get a little loud, a little too intense to those around him. He knows it’s at least partly because he grew up feeling invisible in his own house, and he overcompensated for that by being impossible to ignore everywhere else once he finally left his parents behind. 

So the plan to keep this job and make it a career, to finally do something that matters, (to finally be someone that matters, a nasty voice whispers) was to rein it all in. 

Don’t be too loud; don’t overshare; don’t dominate conversation; don’t be needy. 

But as he had packed up his locker, finding out everyone on his shift agreed that he deserved to be fired, he realized he’d perhaps hidden too much. He’d hidden so much that no one knew him enough to even do him the kindness of lying, to even pretend to be on his side of things. 

He doesn’t know where his strategy went wrong - it worked all through SEAL training and at the fire academy. The more he thinks on it though, he recognizes that none of the people from those two experiences are people he could call on for help except maybe one or two. He hadn’t made anything beyond surface friendships with those people at the time. So although it worked to keep people from being annoyed with him, it meant he didn’t make any lasting connections with anyone. 

Southern California is where Buck has spent the most time since leaving Pennsylvania. Of all the places he’s lived and worked over the last few years, this place is where he decided to stay. It’s why he picked LAFD: to put down some roots. It’s warm, has the ocean, and it’s the opposite coast of his parents. So if he’s going to be here for a while, he thinks he’ll need to make an effort to let people in.

Continue on Ao3

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Oooooh I’m so pumped about these new fics you’ve added! I’m officially intrigued and excited to read!

Also I should probably apologize for the amount of emojis here but I keep sending long requests and you keep fulfilling them fabulously sooooo I guess what I’m saying is that this is on you for enabling me :p

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(PROPOSALLLLLL - also my dear poor bobby trying to both encourage eddie to marry buck while also trying to prevent him from proposing poor guy)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(loving the established buckley-diaz family!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! - the sound my heart makes when i think about this fic)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(explore them childhoods buck and bobby!)

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(a lovely dog and a tsunami avoided i do think things are looking up for buck!)

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠(NICO MY BELOVED IVE MISSED YOU SO!!!) (and while i support your declaration that this is the last one if you ever change your mind please know I’ll be thrilled to see any other stories you dream up)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(after what you’ve done with your vampire premise im slightly scared and entirely excited to see what you do with zombies!)

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑(MADNEY CINDERELLA?!?!??! WOW YOURE TOO GOOD TO US CAL I CANT WAIT)

…yeah I definitely went crazy feel free to cut this down as much as you need. Thank youuuuuuu you’re amazing!!

HEY!!!!! YES I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

Do not apologize for the length. I saved it for last (unless someone submits something else) so that I could dedicate the right time to it. I am pumped.

---

Starting with 48 for ⚡️ (Proposal chapter posted! So this will be post-proposal!)

---

Eddie laughs. “You sure did.”

“It looks great,”  Maddie agrees. She walks around Eddie and Chris to give Buck a big hug.

“Congrats, guys,” Chim adds. “This is awesome. I knew it would happen from the moment you had that dumb, peacocking argument in the fire station gym.”

“What?” Chris asks. 

“Nothing,” Eddie says quickly. “Chim’s just being funny.”

“Thanks, man,” Buck laughs. “I appreciate all your help.”

Jee wanders over to Eddie and Chris and stands on tip toes to look at Eddie’s ring. Eddie lowers his hand to give her an easier view. 

“Wow,” she says, looking at the ring. “Green!”

“He wears a lot of green,” Chris tells her. “It made sense.”

“I do,” Eddie admits. 

“I like green,” Jee nods sagely. 

Maddie, Chim, and Jee leave after a few minutes. Eddie, Buck, and Chris make smoothies and sit in the kitchen, where Chris batters them with a million questions about the proposal. Buck does not forget to mention how Eddie derailed things. Kind of him, really. 

“So when is the wedding going to be?” Chris asks once everything is blended and they’re all sitting down. “This year? Next year?”

“We don’t know yet, bud,” Eddie answers. “These things take some time to plan.”

Especially when you don’t have basic training and childbirth as a time constraint.

“Probably not this calendar year, though,” Buck adds. “We can take our time planning it, I think.”

Eddie nods. “For sure.”

“Well, where are you going to get married? Is it going to be big? Like a huge party?”

“Chris, Buck and I haven’t even started talking about that yet,” Eddie tells him. “Give us some time.”  

“Well, you had all of last night!” Chris protests. “What else were you doing?”

Buck and Eddie stare at each other, nervously, for a moment. 

Sometimes it feels like Chris is growing up way too quickly. Then a nice little moment like this comes along to ease his anxiety. 

“I guess we talked about other stuff, kiddo,” Buck says, trying not to smirk.

---

27 for 🚨 (THANKS!)

---

“Wait, you know Alan?” One of the hungover, frantic-looking partygoers asks. Probably the one who called 9-1-1. He’s wearing a speedo and a blue terry cloth robe. 

Eddie frowns. “Wait, you know Alan? Prescott?”

“Who do you think fell out of the pool?” The young man exclaims. 

“What?” Eddie asks, expression dropping. His face goes a little pale. 

“It’s Alan! Alan is the one who needs your help!”

That, Buck realizes, is not good. Very, very not good. 

Someone Eddie used to love might be dying. Again. 

🔹🔹🔹

There’s no way around the fact that it’s a rescue with a high chance of failure. Alan is in a bad position. There’s no way to get the truck underneath him to lift a ladder up. He’s off the side of a cliff. A cliff covered in thick foliage. And there’s not a lot to hook a winch up to to send someone down after him. Nothing super secure, anyway. The pool is huge and spans the majority of the back line of the yard. They can’t just rappel over.

---

69 for 🩸 (THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!)

---

Buck can’t stop chewing the inside of his cheek. It’s becoming a problem. He is beginning to taste the coppery tang of blood in his saliva. All these months of waiting, and it’s moments away from being finished. Buck is practically vibrating out of his skin. 

They’ve arrived. Buck knows they’ve arrived, because Chris texted him the moment the plane was taxiing. Probably before he was even allowed to take his phone off airplane mode. He’s been keeping Buck diligently updated in the half an hour or so since. Which is how Buck knows they’ve collected Christopher’s checked bags. They’re on their way out of the baggage claim area now. They’re a breath away. 

Buck fires off a quick text to Eddie and Sophia on WhatsApp, notifying them. They were able to get Eddie’s old phone charged and working, but unfortunately the line has been canceled for months on account of his supposed death. And he can’t exactly call the company to reinstate it. So Wi-Fi based communications it is, for now. Buck will get on adding a second line to his account, soon. They just need another SIM.

Eddie gives the message a thumbs up. It seems like a muted response, but Buck knows the truth is just that he’s probably sitting there shaking. There’s nothing to say, anyway. 

It’s in that spot, standing in the arrivals terminal, checking his phone, chewing on his cheek, that he hears Christopher call out to him. 

“BUCK!”

Buck lifts his head to see him. He’s making a good pace, trying to navigate the LAX crowd with his crutches, in a beeline towards Buck. He’s taller. A decent amount taller. Buck could weep.

He takes off in long strides towards Christopher, pushing past people who he might on any other day be apologetic to. Today they don’t matter. Today Chris is home. He’s here, in front of him. He hardly even looks at the veritable clone of Sophia walking, tight-faced, behind Chris as he reaches them. He and Chris more or less collide together. Buck pulls him into a tight, crushing hug, ignoring the way one his crutches dig into his thigh. 

“I missed you so much,” Christopher says, eyes watering.

“I missed you, too,” Buck tells him. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

“Me too,” Chris mumbles. 

Buck pulls away from him, leaving his hands on his shoulders. He scans Christopher head to toe. 

“You’re so tall,” Buck laughs, eyes stinging. “What were you eating out there, huh?” 

“You can’t talk!” Chris protests. 

“I guess that’s true,” Buck smiles. 

Buck takes a quick moment to look at Adriana. He can’t help but feel a cold coil of anger towards her, for how upset her sister was last night. He tries to remind himself she is missing critical information. 

“Thank you for bringing him,” he says to her. 

Normally he would probably offer to buy her lunch for her trouble and the long day, regardless of the discomfort between them. But he needs to get Chris home to Eddie. 

Adriana purses her lips for a second before replying. “Sure. Chris, you’ll remember to call, right?”

“Right,” Chris agrees, though Buck can tell he’s annoyed. Probably not the first time he’s heard this. 

Buck steps forward to take Christopher’s bags from Adriana. She slides them over without complaint.

“Is there anything you need before you catch your flight back?” He asks her. 

She scoffs a little. Buck, again, is prepared to be mad. But then he sees such a sincerely hurt, heartbroken expression across her face. Her eyes, so much like Eddie’s, are big and wounded. 

“There’s nothing you could do for me.” 

“Tia…” Chris protests weakly. 

Adriana hardly seems to hear him.

---

27 for 🔮:

---

It’s different, because Buck has so many other people in his life now. He’s not alone. But… But Bobby still didn’t go after him. 

He should have gone after him.

But what would he have said? He still can’t explain himself.

Bobby looks around Buck’s room, hoping to distract himself from this feeling of uselessness. To take in more small, previously unknown-to-him details about Buck. This solitary, sad Buck. There is a stack of CDs on a desk. An iPod classic with a sort of girly sticker on the back. Bobby wonders if that came from Maddie. There’s a school library copy of To Kill a Mockingbird open and facedown, and a spiral bound notebook where the scattered beginnings of an essay are written in messy graphite. A gaudy school jersey is on the ground, next to cleats. He forgot Buck played football. He wonders if the sport was ever the draw, or if it was always the team.

All of a sudden, Buck flips over and sits up. He sniffs, rubs his red eyes, and pulls himself up off the bed.

“Fuck this stupid family,” he mutters. 

Ouch. 

Buck rounds his bed, picks up the cleats off the floor, and puts them on. He takes off his sweater, so he’s just wearing a tee shirt, and tosses it on the frame on his bed. He grabs a football out of his closet and tucks it under his arm. 

Bobby watches, unsure of what he’s about to do, as he walks over to his bedroom window, wrenches it open, ducks his head low, and swings a leg over the side. Bobby’s eyes widen nervously. What the hell is he going to do? Well, Bobby knows what he’s going to do. He just doesn’t know if this is one of those stories that ends with Buck breaking a bone.

---

Well 🦮 has been posted! And I hope you enjoy/ed it!

In exchange, what I can give you is 24 sentences of the fic I started to replace it, another Gotcha for Gaza prompt. I will give it no context, but here it is and here's it's emoji 🛞

---

“Well, you weren’t the last person to sit in this seat,” Buck explains.

Eddie frowns. “I wasn’t? Someone else changed my settings?”

Chim holds back a sigh. If they could turn on the Jeep and get going, that would be great. He has a former foster child being adopted by his best friend to see. 

“Eddie, Chris was the last person to sit in the seat. He changed the settings.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. “Well, I’ll have words with him later.”

Wow. 

“He resets my settings in your truck, too.” Buck argues.

“No, you reset his settings in the truck, because you have giraffe legs.” Eddie rebuts. 

Chim is going to scream. 

“Eddie, you’ll survive,”  he says. “Buck, let’s beat traffic.”

“Right, right,” Buck says, starting the ignition. “Can you put in the address for me, Eddie?”

“Yep,” Eddie replies, taking Buck’s phone right off his thigh, and plugging it in. The Apple CarPlay display flickers to life. 

Eddie holds Buck’s phone to his face and it unlocks. 

---

45 for 🌠 (haha thank you! I am open to more but feel like I've explored what I wanted to?):

---

“You ran off, right?” 

“No!” Nico shouts. “I didn’t want to be alone! I don’t want to be alone! I want Dad!”

He sounds like a little kid. Half of Christopher’s heart aches for him. Half of it resents him. And that latter half is cruel and unfair and Chris knows that. He knows it’s good that Nico is terrified and unsure how to act. He knows it’s good Nico isn’t used to this. It’s fucking great for Nico, that, by this age, he hasn’t dealt with a parent killed by a distracted driver, a parent shot overseas and at home, and a parent struck by fucking lightning. He is healthy and adjusted and things have always, always been easier for him. 

And Christopher feels like a total asshole. Here he is, not far off thirty years-old, just realizing how much resentment he holds for a child. His little brother. Who he does love. Really, he loves him dearly. They’ve just lived apart more than they ever lived together, and it feels like they don’t know each other as well as they should. 

When you find something to work on, you forget about everyone else.

Fuck. 

“Nico, okay, I won’t-”

“Dad could be dying and you don’t even care!” 

Tears are streaming down his brother’s face now. Christopher wants to scream. He feels frozen. This feels impossible. Sometimes he thinks about the fact that his dad and Buck weren’t that much older than he is now, dealing with him at this age. How his dad was younger than him when his mom died and he was alone with a little kid. And Christopher wasn’t the world’s easiest kid. He knows that. Even if Dad would never, ever say it. 

“That’s not exactly what’s… Of course I care,” Christopher tries to reason. “God, of course I care.”

“Then why are you just working and acting like nothing is happening?”

Christopher takes a deep breath. 

“Nico, it helps me to keep my mind off of it,” he explains. “If I don’t, I get anxious. Because I care a lot, okay? You think I don’t? Between us, I’m the one who knows how shitty it feels to lose a parent.”

Nico’s expression drops. Anger and hurt turned to immediate regret. 

---

24 for 🧟 (Thank you! A bit more traditional zombies. Mostly bc none of our characters is one haha)

---

Hell, they could be so fucked up from everything that has happened nine months, that they’ve just snapped and want to cause pain. Buck isn’t risking the only family he has left. 

The cop car stops right in front of the turn to drive into the library parking lot. Like it, too, doesn’t want to cross the red line. The driver’s side door opens with urgency and a woman steps out. The windows are all tinted, and Buck can’t see if there’s anyone else in the car.

The woman’s back is to Buck, her arms in front of her, holding something. A gun perhaps. She’s dressed in what looks like the pants part of a cop uniform, but a bright, souvenir-style tee shirt. She’s shorter than Buck, but carries herself with a presence. An authority that, under other circumstances, Buck would either butt heads against or easily follow. 

The woman takes a step towards the library. 

Buck stands up and aims. 

“I wouldn’t do that.” He calls. 

The woman whirls on him, handgun pointed right at his forehead with what he can just tell is precision. If this goes badly, no chance she misses. He can see that. 

“Nice to meet you,” the woman quips. Buck would put her in her fifties. She has the trace of a southern accent. The tee shirt she’s wearing has a big, illustrated orange on it and the word Florida. Which explains the accent. 

---

36 for 👑 (THANKS! All credit to the prompter though):

---

“While Santa Claus was dying and she was covered in his blood?”

“Oh, please. Santa will be fine.” Hen waves a dismissive hand. “But who knows? Maybe fate will intervene and you’ll bump into her again.”

ii.

Fate does intervene. Just not in the ways Chim might expect. 

It’s a two-pronged day of surprises. 

They have a shift the day after Christmas. Christmas which Chim did end up spending alone. He didn’t feel right about going to Hen’s, and he didn’t feel right intruding on the Lees, so he just told each party he was going to the other’s. It was kind of shit. Not that he’ll say that to anyone. 

The point is, they’re on shift. It’s the 26th of December. They get called a kitchen fire in Beverly Hills. Nothing serious; a kid trying to make fancy vegan, gluten free cookies while her parents obviously were not supervising. No one is hurt. But that’s where Chimney sees her again. On a Christmas card of all things! 

He physically has to stop in front of the mantleplace where it’s displayed. A glossy, photocard type thing of two older white people with their two adult children. 

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from the Buckleys, it reads. Wishing you all the best in 2018. From Phillip, Margaret, Maddie, and Evan. 

Whoa. Whoa. 

She has a name. Maddie Buckley. And from the distant way they’re all sitting in the portrait, not touching, that is certainly her younger brother, not her younger husband. Yikes. Now that he looks closer at them, neither Maddie nor Evan looks especially happy to be there. They’re all dressed in expensive clothing. Hair styled. This is a very, uh, special Christmas card. They look rich. Beverly Hills rich.

[divine-victory]

also because you're gonna be spamming my asks with wedding planner asks apparently, I will be spamming your's okay okay <3 :3!!

👻👻👻👻

💒💒💒

🗣️🗣️

🍼

👻👻-

“What exactly did you do then?” She asks and watches him shrink into himself on her couch. Like if he occupies less space she won’t be able to see him. She has the urge—not for the first time mind you, to flight to P.A and fight Margaret and Philip Buckley.  When she had suggested the same sentiment towards Helena and Ramon Diaz, Eddie hadn’t been as enthusiastic or supportive as she would have liked though. So instead she bumps her knees against his thigh to offer some form of comfort.  It works to some extent. Buck’s shoulders relax ever soslightly ad he leans back head resting on the backrest of the couch as he lazily turns to look at her. “Why do you get wine and I have to drink pineapple juice?” Buck asks and Shanon is sure the pout isn’t even exaggerated. Which is completely ridiculous considering Buck doesn’t even really like wine.  “Because unlike some people I didn’t over-exert myself and developed blood clogs,” she tells him. “Now stop evading the question, what did you do?” “I bumped into them at the grocery store,” He responds suddenly picking at the folds in his jeans. “Oh good, I was starting to think I would have to fill in the role of crazy ex,” Shannon responds in between bouts of laughter. “What do you mean?” Buck asks ignoring her giggles, the confused wrinkle in his forehead joining the offended pout.  “Buck you stalked them!”

💒

“You look very nice,” Buck says somewhere from behind Eddie. It takes aloof Eddie’s training and self-restraint not to jump away from his truck’s side-view mirror.  “Uhm,” Eddie says eloquently as straightening out as he lets the nervous laugh bubble out of him. Have his hands always gravitated towards his belt loops so awkwardly? “Yeah, I just um I threw on whatever this morning.” “Well,” Buck says giving Eddie a very slow and pointed once over as he takes a step closer. “It works for you.” Eddie feels a drop of sweat descending down the back of his neck as Buck’s hand approaches him in slow motion. He has time to wonder if it has always been this hot in California or if perhaps it is the sheer brightness of Buck’s little smirk that makes his face feel so flushed before Buck makes contact with Eddie’s waist. At which point Eddie’s brain shuts off entirely leaving his body no choice but to go along with the soft pull of Buck. The collision breaks records for its softness and Eddie’s breath catches in his throat as he feels Buck’s lips brush against his temple in the sweetest greeting he has ever been given.

🗣️

(edit- I got my own system confused and posted the wrong fic hereis the correct version mb)

“Hi, hello,” Eddie hears from behind him as he is drying the side of the engine. “I’m Dan Rydell and this is my partner–”“Casey McCall,” Eddie interrupts as he turns and sees who is talking to him, or rather the man standing next to the person talking to him. He looks almost exactly as Eddie remembers him. Well not quite. He looks older, his still floppy hair now spotted with gray his face framed by laugh lines that speak of a good life lived. But still just as bright and open. As if time passed him by and only gifted him with more vitality.

🍼

Bobby is woken up by a soft thumping against the mattress rather than the soft babbling sounds he can distinguish once he is cognizant. Sometime either during the night or in the early hours of the morning Buck had rolled over from his side-sleeper and landed on the bed next to Bobby. Then Upon waking up– now slightly bigger and much more sturdy than when Bobby had laid him on the bassinet, had sat up and began banging his pudgy dimpled fist against the mattress.

Ok, Maddiii here ya go! Casey's voice eludes me still but I feel that by that 6th sentence, he was starting to talk more freely through me.

[arickaandherfictionalothers]

Looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come…

(Aricka x Eddie)

As soon as Aricka and Buck had kissed, Aricka P and Eddie had slipped away from the bridal party to stand in their respective spots at the end of the aisle, their backs to each other. Buck would help Eddie-and Aricka J would help Aricka P- focus on their next task-

It was their turn to get married.

Aricka J handed Aricka P the wedding bouquet she’d picked out - and rubbed her shoulder. “He’s waiting.” The words sent a wave of assurance through Aricka P. “He’s right behind you and he looks amazing. I’m so proud of you guys. You deserve this.”

Meanwhile, Buck was saying the same to Eddie. “She’s waiting right there, where she’s supposed to: she looks absolutely beautiful and she’s ready. You’re ready. You guys deserve this. Enjoy the moment.”

And then; the Buckley-James’ walk back down the aisle as the best man and matron of honor.

Then it was Eddie and Aricka’s turn. On cue, they turn and face each other. And Aricka’s doing great, walking to the edge of the chairs right before they turn and go down the aisle-

And then her knees buckle; and she hits the ground. But Eddie was right there. He bent down and helped her up, and she threw her arms around him. They had time, so he hugged her for a moment. She takes a steadying breath, then loops her arm through his. He gives her a look, and she nods, a smile on her face.

It was time to get married.

————————

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today; at the Happiest Place on Earth, to join these two- Aricka Harper Penbury and Edmundo Ryan Diaz, in the bonds of matrimony. They walked each other down the aisle , signaling they were entering this union together. If anyone has reason that this couple should not be allowed to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” After a moment the officiant continued. “Eddie and Aricka have also wrote their own vows, so now I will let Eddie take over.”

—————

Eddie turns to Aricka, picks both her hands up; holds them gently. “You of all people know just how of a romantic I am. You and I used to plan our future weddings together, and that journal helped us plan our wedding. I think all along I knew it was going to be you. It just took my mind and my heart a little bit to catch up to what my soul was saying all along- you are the missing piece I was looking for.”

“Our favorite romcom is “10 Things I Hate About You.” I took the time to write ten things I love about you, even though ten things is only scratching the surface of the things I love about you.”

“10. I love the way you do everything in the same routine every day because otherwise you feel off balance. I love how your system of doing things is balanced to how my system of things works.

9. I love the way you never stop reading even if a book isn’t in your hands. You read faces, you read body language, you read everything you can, and I love it so much.

8. I love how from day one you’ve always been a part of my life, my heart, and my family. You have always more than a supporting role in my life- you are a main feature and I never want to lose you in the background of our movie.

7. I love how you love outer space; especially the planet Jupiter. Over the last 20 years I’ve learned more about our solar system specifically than I ever anticipated but I will always want to learn more about it if it’s you talking about it.

6. I love how passionate you are about family; about the film industry, and most importantly, how passionate you are about Christopher and I.”

5. I love how you sing in the morning, you sing in the afternoon, and you sing in the evening. Music is such a beautiful part of who you are and I will never get tired of hearing your singing. Maybe one day I’ll sing with you.

4. I love how you know when I’ve had a rough day and you play, “Old time rock and roll,” and jokingly force me to recreate the dance because you know that movie is my guilty pleasure.

3. I love how big your heart is. You have always loved fiercely and bravely. And I am forever grateful that I get to be loved by small part of that strong heart of yours.

2. I love how you read me like I’m your favorite story and you know what I need before I even need it, even if you always ask before doing anything because you still think you could overstep in my life.

1. I love that you chose me. You chose Christopher. You chose this family to love and to support, and I’ll always be grateful for you.” He takes the ring from Buck, “unfortunately I couldn’t lasso a star for you yet, but I hope this is a satisfactory compromise.”

It’s the galaxy blue sandstone ring Aricka had picked out months ago, with vines and amethyst and gold filigree on the band.

She gasps soflty. “Eddie…” he slips the ring onto her ring finger.

“With this ring, I ask you to be mine for all eternity. To walk with me in the highs and lows. To laugh with me, to cry with me. To share in everything life throws our way because you’ve always said it; we’ll figure it out, together.”

Aricka nods: tears in her eyes, and Eddie reaches out to carefully wipe them away.

Then it was her turn.

————————————-

“Eddie… where do I even begin? Our story began in kindergarten. I was terrified of school, I felt like I didn’t fit in, but I saw a cute little boy with the biggest brown eyes at the red table and I asked if I could sit by him during circle time; and we never looked back.

Taylor Swif has had such an impact on our lives. We listened to her first album in the back of my dad’s pickup truck our freshman year of high school. We held hands, made plans to rule the school, and promised to always be friends.

Another thing that has had an impact on our lives is Wall*E. I’ve always loved outer space; so a movie about a robot love story taking place in outer space was gonna be a smash hit. We first watched it the summer between our sophomore and junior year of high school. We ate so much popcorn we almost got sick and I made you dance with me to “Define Dancing.”

Eddie… when I think of the story of us, the genre is obviously a romantic comedy. The content is perseverance, tenacity; strength, and the proof that if it’s meant to be; it will be. I have loved you since I was in sixth grade, and I’ll never stop.”

She squeezes his hands. “You are my fairy tale prince, the song I was singing all these years, and the man I was meant to find. We took a unique road to get here but I wouldn’t change a thing, because like Olaf said, “some people are worth melting for.” You are worth waiting for, a hundred times over.”

She takes the ring from Aricka J, and says, “With this ring, I ask you to be mine for all eternity. To walk with me in the highs and lows. To laugh with me, to cry with me. To share in everything life throws our way because I’ve always said; we’ll figure it out, together.”

———-

“We have once again witnessed another example of true love, and how it will triumph over any odds. Eddie; Aricka, it is by the power vested in me by the state of California that I now pronounce you husband and wife. Eddie; go on and kiss the girl-!”

Eddie grins; and tugs Aricka closer gently; and the two of them grin at each other briefly before they kiss; soft and tender.

“It is my pleasure to announce for the first time as a married couple, Mr and Mrs Penbury-Diaz-!”

“Accidentally in Love,” begins to play as they walk back down the aisle; and they head to the reception that would immediately take place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

@astralshipper @rosieshipper @hyperionshipping @yeehawselfshipping @letsgofoletsgo @callsign-revenge @bookburnerkeay

[fanficmanic]

There are lots of characters that I've hated along the way of the 8.5 seasons of 9-1-1. (Warning: long post ahead).

Abby, because if it was the other way around (age wise), any man would've been seriously frowned upon - even if the other party is a consenting adults. (And she called Buck a boytoy, and she gohsted him, and she only cared about herself... I could write a full post about her, but not the point at the mo).

The bomber, for calling Buck collateral damage.

Ali, for leaving Buck at the worst time, even though she had a first-hand account of just how dangerous firefighting is.

Doug, Tatiana, Evie, Bosko, the Sniper, Councilwoman Ortez, Gerrard, Brad.... The list goes on and on and on.

But, I have never hated any character more than I hate Helena and Ramon Diaz.

They forced their son to marry as a teen (and I'm willing to bet they never even entertained the thought of Shannon possibly having an abortion).

They didn't support their son's new family and instead found it admirable (if not having actively suggested it) for him to go into an active warzone so he could provide for his family (also willing to bet that they never suggested him getting help for a sure-case of PTSD).

They made Shannon's life a living hell and never supported her (otherwise, she might have felt safe to seek the help of her mother-in-law instead of running away).

They always told Eddie that he wasn't doing enough for Christopher, and that he was dragging his son down with him.

No matter what Eddie did, they always made him feel that it was lacking and that Chris was better off with them. Not to mention that they always held all of his mistakes over his head, like an enemy gloating over their nemesis' failures.

They jumped at the first chance of stealing Chris away right from under Eddie's nose, and who knows what they've been filling his head with against Eddie (and possibly even Shannon cause these people sure do not follow don't speak I'll of the dead)

They're trying to give Chris the childhood they deprived Eddie from. They baby him, always using his disability to their advantage (such as babying him and coddling him).

They know they fucked up, but instead of owning up to their mistakes and apologizing like any sane adult would, they stole their grandson from a loving home so they can make up for their own fuckedupness.

The fact that Eddie is such a good person tell us that 1) Abuela must have more to do with his upbrining than we are aware of, and 2) he's the one who has built himself to become this amazing and loving father.

Therefore, I have never hated anyone more than I hate Helena and Ramon Diaz, and I can't wait to see them getting their comeuppance.

(This does not mean that I don't have strong feelings - very negative feelings - about the Buckleys. I'm just focusing all my hatred at the Diaz parents at the mo)

[iced-coffee-jesus]

there are so many options for the buckley-diaz relationship test! i could see eddie going to texas without telling buck (tb to when eddie left the 118 without telling buck first), i could see buck dealing with the break-up in a way that eddie doesn't get so buck might not get the unwaivering support of his shenanigans that he expects. i can see eddie seemingly getting happier and happier as he finds himself while buck wallows (tb to the post laddertruck pre tsunami), like everybody seems super happy (madney baby 2, wilsons reunited, bathena house, eddie happy and making progress with chris maybe and buck feels excluded bc he's lonely).

Nonny, the options are limitless! From what they've said in interviews, it sounds like Buck deals pretty well with the break-up and has Eddie's support, even if Eddie may be distracted by finding his own joy again. Personally, i don't think we'll see too much wallowing on Buck's part; I think 8x07 will have Buck coming to terms with the break-up and by 8x08 he'll be moving onto other things.

I think there is some real potential for them to discuss what is best for Chris, and for some narrative refocusing on what their relationship is like without Chris. They've always had Chris as a buffer and someone that automatically tied them into a family unit, and I would love to see them struggle on that front. I don't want to see an argument where Buck tells Eddie to go get Chris, because I think that should be about Chris and Eddie talking and mending their relationship. I could see a conversation where Buck expresses that he doesn't understand how Eddie can stand to be separated, and Eddie talks about not only does Chris need to find faith in Eddie again, but Eddie needs to find out how to be a father while also being true to his own desires. The Chris plot does annoy me at this point, but lets be real, Christopher's actor moving away is the reason we've dragged it out this long; they need a reason for Chris to not be there and this is the reason they chose.

They specifically mentioned 'difficulties' and 'testing their relationship in different ways'. And I am just over here agonizing over it! It could be something that is really not a big deal in the long run, or it could be something that moves their relationship into new territory. One more thing I will speculate though, is that I'm tentatively wondering if they will leave us on a cliff-hanger or leave Buck and Eddie in limbo with whatever these difficulties are for the mid-season finale. Depending on the gravity of the situation, it may make for some great hiatus speculation and keep people interested over the break. Less than two week until the hiatus starts... 🥹😭

[blueberrytwoberry]

eddie diaz and parenting

So, the thing is, Eddie Diaz's Parenting Skills seem to be taken to one extreme or another so often. Either he's held up as the best parent or the worst, and I don't know, I think there's a lot of nuance there, which is part of what makes him interesting as a character; there's some good, there's some bad, it's complex!

First of all, we get characters telling us Eddie's a great parent, but mostly this is Buck, and Buck has a reactive view on "good" parenting that basically boils down to Eddie being very affectionate and open and, face it, lenient with Chris. Buck thinks Eddie's the greatest parent ever, but Buck isn't looking at things empirically (I could get into the Buckley parents here, but that's a different manifesto and no one would like what I had to say, so).

And in any case! A lot of those things are good parenting things. It's a positive that Eddie is affectionate and supportive, that he cares, and that he adjusts his behaviors when an issue gets pointed out to him (the entire skateboarding thing, for example).

At the same time, man, Eddie underreacts to some stuff Chris does. Like, you know, throwing a bowl on the floor to break it and getting an Uber to someone else's house without any notification. Or sneaking around. You get the idea.

So, boundaries aren't a big thing for Chris. Which is, I think, actually a pretty realistic problem considering that Eddie was not in his life for years. He didn't get entry-level experience in setting boundaries, and then things were probably easier when he just didn't set them, and now...

Anyway, really, boundaries seem to be the root cause of Eddie's Parenting Issues, I think, because it's not just that he doesn't set boundaries for Chris, he doesn't set them for what he shares with Chris, not really, at least in regards to, well, relationships.

Chris knew far too much far too early about both Ana and Marisol. There's a reason that the experts recommend waiting around a year to introduce a new romantic partner to your child. Introducing a new partner almost right away (and moving them in and then out again, in Marisol's case) isn't great for a kid, because it throws everything into confusion, undercuts the child's sense of security, and, when/if said partner leaves, well...

So, you know, all of that put together, it's not exactly a shocker that Chris operates under the belief that jetting in and out of someone's life is the norm. It's also not a shocker that Eddie made the decisions that brought them there; it all adds up pretty neatly, even if it makes me want to shake him sometimes. You can see the steps that led to this destination and, to be clear, I appreciate that he's not a perfect beacon of parenting decisions. He makes mistakes, just like all the other good parents on the show.

And I also appreciate that, right now, he seems to be making the right long-term choice, because, well, Chris is, what, 14? That's old enough that the court system would allow him to decide where he wanted to live, if their situation went to court. Old enough that he could very easily just leave again if Eddie tried to "drag him back," doing more damage to their relationship in the long-term.

So, Eddie's letting him pick. Even though it hurts him. He's respecting that decision and you know what, good for him. Because part of parenting means respecting your child's decisions even when those decisions hurt you and even when those decisions hurt them, because children aren't an extension of their parents, they're their own people who get to make decisions that aren't always in their best interests, and the scope of the decisions they can make expands as they get older. Chris, at 14, can make a lot of them, including deciding to go live with his grandparents.

As a parent, you're there to help when your child needs it after the results of that decision and you can try to explain why it might be a bad idea, but you can't take the decision away. Parents aren't gods.

Anyway, I deeply appreciate that it's a consistent thing for Eddie. He doesn't want to force his way in. He wants a relationship where both people want to be there, which, I mean, seems like it should be a bare minimum for everyone, but in many cases, it is not. So, good for him.

And, yeah, I suspect that some part of Chris wants Eddie to swoop in and try to make him come back, but you know, that's part of growing up, too. Part of making decisions and telling other people what you want is accepting that they're going to believe you. Expecting other people to read your mind and know what you actually want out of a situation is a good way to live a life of constant frustration and heartache (also, to break the people around you, because no one can live under that kind of strain of constantly second-guessing and worrying what someone actually means forever).

I do also suspect, after Eddie's garage convo in 8x4, that the show might have him go make a grand gesture in Texas, which, fine. It'll be another layer of complexity, and I've no complaints there.

Anyway, I don't know, I've got too many thoughts in my head about Eddie and how he's not the best or worst parent ever; he's just a man who is trying his best, and sometimes his best is amazing, and sometimes it's awful, actually, because he's a human and that's how it goes, and I appreciate him so much as a character.

[hawkeyefrommash]

10 and 29 for the fic asks?

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

mmm yes and no? i generally have a good idea of what reception a fic will get, and i also only really write for me and like maybe one other person Sometimes so it doesn't bother me if a fic doesn't get a good reception or something. i was surprised that other people really loved maneuver one into place because i hadn't posted in a long time (i had posted two fics the year before and none for two years prior to that) so i was really reminded that like yeah i know how to write actually. i was also surprised by how quickly responses rolled in to the 911 book club fic I wrote because i'd written 911 before and it hadn't got as much of a response -- even the long fic my friend and i wrote didn't get as much of a response, i think because it was long and also the tags were scary. this one was a crowd pleaser for sure but we got a LOT of comments in the first few hours.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

i have a disease where i think i'm going to post everything i start. i have like four sg1 fics i want to write and two i've started and i am convinced i'll finish them. i did say a few days ago that someone should write a specifically lesbian la'an/jim fic but it won't be me. someone should though! ok after searching in all my little fragments i found something that i both likely won't post and serves as a teaser for a fic my friend and i have discussed doing. it's a 911 fic and originally was a christopher centric outsider pov fic but has changed course slightly, this is basically shannon's conversation with his principal back in s2. i also threw in another scene that is meant to be a little later

alright before the break with the fic stuff: send me questions! :)

It’s obvious by the third question that Shannon Diaz isn’t in her son’s life. 

“So – tell me a bit about Christopher,” Principal Amy Summers prompts, and Shannon freezes. 

“He’s a great kid,” Shannon responds after a second. “He loves art and drawing, always has. He – well, he –”

Shannon trails off, clearly trying to think of something that doesn’t sound generic, and so Amy takes pity on the other woman. “You and his father are separated, I take it?”

“That obvious?” Shannon asks with a grimace. “Sorry. There isn’t a formal custody arrangement so Eddie didn’t know what to do, but I haven’t been around in… a while. But I trust him if he says this school would be amazing for Christopher, and I hope that us being –” she makes a vague hand motion that Amy takes to mean complicated, “– doesn’t hurt his chances.”

Amy gives her a practiced, reassuring smile. “We have a lot of different types of families at the school. All we care about is if our kids are loved and supported.”

Shannon lets out a shaky breath. “And Christopher is. Eddie told me that everyone at his job love Chris and have been helping out.”

“That’s wonderful to hear.”

Principal Summers isn’t surprised when, after Christopher is accepted and the paperwork comes back, Shannon Diaz is listed after a home care aid on his emergency contacts.

“Hi, this is Christopher Diaz’s father, Eddie.”

The receptionist, Jody, types that into the computer system quickly and finds Christopher’s file. “Hi Eddie, how can I help you?”

“I’m stuck at work and won’t be able to get Christopher at pick up time. Can I add someone as an authorized person?”

“Of course. What’s their name and relationship to Christopher?”

“Buck – Evan Buckley, he’s my partner –” Eddie is cut off by the sound of an alarm blaring in the background. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Do you need anything else?”

“That should be fine, Mr. Diaz. Have a good day.” Eddie barely says goodbye before hanging up and Jody sighs before adding the information to Christopher’s file – Evan Buckley (father’s partner). She’ll have to go by his classroom later and have the teacher add it to the pick up sheet, since those were printed off in the mornings.

[canichangemyblogname]

#And uncle Buck and dad’s cool friend Tommy can’t ever fill that hole in his heart either #They can love him with all their hearts #but a boy still misses his mom

Controversial opinion? The Diaz parents are just regular people— typical parents. They have critical flaws. They fail. They don’t always get it right. They and the Buckleys weren’t good parents, but they are good people who have endeavored to change. They made mistakes and know this, but have grown and learned and matured to be better for this kids, and thus also their grandkids. They love their family deeply and genuinely want what’s best for them.

Right now, Helena and Ramon Diaz are simply putting their grandson before their GROWN son. And this makes sense given Chris is a MINOR and has high-needs. They don’t doubt Eddie’s ability to raise Chris; they’re giving him space to figure out his own mistakes while also providing Chris space to process his own grief. Eddie is an adult and needs to address his grief as an adult before he pushes his son away like Ramon and Helena did. He is giving Chris space because Chris asked for space to process his own grief and come to terms with the fact his father is also flawed human, not a superhero parent, who opened up an old would.

Look— the initial issue Eddie had with his parents back in season two was that they doubted his ability to raise Chris alone and they were hostile to Shannon, his wife. But that has since ceased to be an issue. They don’t doubt his ability to raise Chris alone anymore because he has been raising Chris “alone” for how many years now? Helena and Ramon know their son is a good father who made a grief stricken mistake. I know they see their son’s love for their grandson in his every laugh and smile. I know they understand that Chris is a kind, smart, and well-rounded kid because of the guidance, support system, and opportunities Eddie has helped give him. Like— Chris doesn’t fear water because his dad put the work in to help his son through the trauma of the tsunami.

But they also know there is something Eddie cannot help his son through because it’s something that dramatically negatively affects his well-being, too. And that’s Shannon’s death.

Eddie has been unable to fully process her death and the Shannon-shaped hole in his and Chris’ life. He never even handled her initial absence well. She was one of the reasons he uprooted his and Chis’ life to LA. But as soon as she was back in their lives, she was gone. Between two tours and moving, Eddie feels he never really got a chance to “make it work.” He loved her and it eats him up inside to think that he failed her as a husband, and thus failed his son as a father. He thinks he abandoned them both and failed them, so the memory of every unsaid “I love you,” of every time he hid her or acted ashamed of her, and of every time he took his parent’s side over her tears him up inside.

He never got closure, and he cannot help Chris get closure because of this, even though he has tried. But do you know who can help give Chris a chance to start anew and process his grief, with the same support and love and kindness that he received from his dad? His grandparents.

There’s something about three men who all grew up with absent and distant fathers banding together to show a young boy they’re there for him, endeavoring to provide that boy with all the paternal attention and affection and kindness they can…

… only, all that boy wants is his mother there with him. All the effort and attention and affection in the world can’t bring her back. He’s spent most of his life without her, but that doesn’t stop him from wishing that she’d never left him in the first place. She left him once long ago and he didn’t understand it then—and still doesn’t now— but then she had to go and die and a dad can’t replace her. Dad can’t be her, and dad can’t replace her.

But grandma? Living with grandma takes him back to a time before his mom left, when both she and dad were alive; when talking to his father through a screen was normal, and the distance familiar, comfortable even. Grandma’s not just providing him with a maternal affection he’s long felt like he’s missed, but with a sense of nostalgic familiarity. She takes him to the pool club, and maybe the water reminds him of beach days in LA with his mom or that lake in Texas where she and dad met. And because he loves the water, grandma promises to build him a pool.

But dad can’t give him a pool, just like he can’t give him back his mom. Dad couldn’t save her and he couldn’t bring her back for real, either.

[lover-of-mine]

No, but seriously, imagine you're Eddie Diaz. You just moved to a different state, you have trauma coming out of your ears between your time in the army and your wife abandoning you and your kid and your parents determined to convince you you're unfit as a parent, and you start your job at this firehouse, whose captain made sure you picked, and in come Evan Buckley, this overgrown frat boy who hates you for absolutely no apparent reason, and you're like whatever, the rest of the house is friendly enough, i won't engage, but then this dude folds like a lawn chair after exactly 1 (one) compliment and sticks to you from then on, then you go through an earthquake and you're rightfully worried about your kid and Buck notices and you're a little guarded when you tell him about Christopher but he just smiles and says he loves kids then proceeds to spend the whole shift assuring you that he's fine even though you can't call him, then he's the one who lets you know that phones are working again and then he drives you to your kid's school. And you're struggling to make sure Chris has the right care and an accident happens with your abuela and Buck doesn't question it, he just goes with you to the hospital and when you need to take Chris to the firehouse, Buck makes sure that it was cleared with your captain before it even occurs to you and then Buck tricks you into going over to his place and introduces you the solution to all your problems without ever once making you feel like you're unfit as a parent, just noticing you need help. This dude you've known for weeks has been more supportive of you than most people in your life ever. I know we joke about Eddie baby trapping Buck but Buck stepped up because he wanted to and Eddie let him because Buck never made him feel unfit, he just makes him feel seen. It's no wonder Eddie is the way he is with Buck.

Sometimes I think it's completely crazy that Eddie would just make Buck Chris legal guardian and not even think to tell him about it but the thing is, Buck has done so much for Eddie and Chris, without Eddie ever having to ask for it, that Eddie definitely never even thought to consider Buck not wanting to. But I also think that Eddie never seriously considered what life would look without Buck until, you know, Buck died on him. And I know we've had the "you act like you're expandable but you're supposed to be invincible" discussion but I think it's a fascinating aspect of the Eddie's character, the way he's calm and logical and objective unless Buck is involved. Dude just can't seem to think clearly when it's about Buck. And that goes back to the beginning. Like when the Buck is trapped under the truck, Eddie is a firefighter not a paramedic, and sure he was an army medic but the logical decision there is to have Eddie helping trying to lift the truck not helping Hen treat Buck, but no, at that moment, he's a medic. When Buck gets struck by lightning, he doesn't attach his own safety harness, he goes up something that basically a wet lightning rod after being thrown off the truck and his first instinct is to try and pull Buck up. Pulling Buck up is not the smart move there. Even more when he realizes Buck is unresponsive, because he would have to get Buck down the ladder and that would really delay Buck's care. Lowering Buck is the right move there but it doesn't occur to him until he fails to lift him up. It's insane. Say what you want but he's attachment to Buck it's something else entirely.