#i worth nothing haha
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i think the barbie movie would have a profound psychological impact on hua cheng
prev comic / next comic / follow for still more hualian barbie movie content because i am not done
bonus angsty version 🎉 i hate love expressions just a couple tiny lines on the mouth and eyebrows and it goes from silly to sad
:(
#this is a haha hua cheng devoted joke but idk it’s nice to think about how much of his identity and self worth is placed on xie lian#obviously since he was 10 most of his major life choices were to serve the crown prince#but in the interval time he became one of the most dangerous men in the world and decided it was his responsibility to create a ghost haven#he works on artistic mastery and alternatively brokers deals with and evades assassination attempts by heaven#if asked i think he would say he only does good for dianxia’s sake (What Would Dianxia Do) and is actually a bad person#and similar stuff about his combat and art skills#theres a question here about how much of his success is due to being such a determined person and how much#of it is luck from ‘the savior’ reversing the star of solitude#how much hua cheng is left when you take away xie lian?#he would say nothing#xie lian would say a billionaire genius playboy philantrophist etc#tgcf looooooves to talk about destiny and free will and so do i#all this to say if it was in character for hua cheng to cry at a movie hed be sobbing#this can be read as pre or post confession btw#the poll decided which version of the comic was the ‘main version’ above the cut#tgcf#art#comic#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#hob#mxtx#my art#barbie#barbie movie#tgcf meme#lmao
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2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)
#fantastic podium!! maybe my favorite of this season?????#sebmarkson podiums are my fav ever nothing can top them#and both mark and jense were being so cute with seb this race aaaahhhhhhh <333333#theres something about seb that makes older men want to cuddle him and pick him up and pour champagne on him#haha thank you to dru for showing me seb getting drenched on this podium a few weeks and making me hype for this race!!#this race was very very good as well. like the last laps battle btwn mark and jense was insane#its very good when i already know the results of a race but the racing still makes me sit on the edge of my seat and scream a bit#i mentioned this before but i love how this race felt like an epilogue and it was nice to see everyone having fun and enjoying themseles#thank you everybody for joining me on another season journey!!! it been so much fun. ive really really enjoyed 2009#brawn is just soooooo cool to me. their story is insane!! im glad ive gotten to watch thru this season before the docu abt them comes out#but also very fun to see the beginning of rbr getting to the top of the field. every good result just felt so rewarding and worth it#anyways dont wanna do too much commentary abt it since ive discussed it a lot. onto 2010 next!!!! i shall miss you 2009#though i will say. it was rly interesting in this race to hear their team predictions for next season bcs a lot of it doesnt pan out#mark webber#jenson button#sebastian vettel#sebson#martian#sebmark#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 abu dhabi gp#season: 2009
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Daily reminder to all my creatives; it’s okay not to post every single day! Take breaks, make things that’ll never be posted online, work on projects that are just for you, do things completely unrelated to your online presence! Don’t burn out trying to appease the algorithm ♡
#you’re worth more than just how much content/art you can put out!#trying to convince myself lol#I have been drawing it’s just been sketches and practice though! nothing worth finishing just yet haha#text#text post#art#reminder#positive#content creation#content creator#artist#artist support#vtuber#pngtuber#YouTuber#streamer#not pink#positivity
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ngl real missed opportunity by DC to let Harley and Mr. Freeze become friends during her primary villain arc (btas or other) cause tbh I can't imagine he'd enjoy sitting in his cell listening to Joker brag about all the ways he's cruel, abusive and uncaring towards Harley, a woman who loves him, while Victor's entire goal is to save his wife who he loves dearly ya know ???? and it's not like all of them haven't been locked up together, the other rogues Know. Joker's not like most abusers who try to keep it behind closed doors, he's very public with his abuse.
And just that feeling of like "I am doing everything I can to save my wife, I have become a criminal and have done awful things in the name of love and I just want nothing more than to have her back and You Have Someone Who Loves You That Much, That Much To Become A Criminal As Well And You Repay That Love By ABUSING HER."
#i know next to nothing about mr freeze so i may be wrong but i like to think im right#the temptations to include more of the rogues gallery in my ''Ivy Finds Out About The Ending Of Mad Love'' fic rewrite#((((((which i have not forgot about skdnksks i am Slow with things but like the og is a little over 4k#and ive got about a smidge into contents of the og chapter 2 and its already almost 7k so hopefully it'll be worth it#the wait that is#skdndkksksks#/// but like that quote joker says in the assault on arkham movie#''haha women amirite officer? cant live with em cant kick em out of a moving car''#like he probably absolutely just says shit like that cause he thinks no one is going to stand up to him#(well he probably would reframe if Ivy was also around but ya know if not)#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#dc comics#victor freeze#mr freeze#tw abuse mention#tw clown boy#mentioned at least
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Okay in honour of my 1st wedding anniversary here is a compliation of my dogs at my wedding last year
If anyone ever tells you "dogs don't belong at weddings" tell 'em to fuck off and do it anyway. My friends and family all ate their words, and multiple people tipped the dog handlers because they thought it was so nice. It was delightful having them there (for like an hour). My husband and I are super pleased to have had them be there for such a special occasion, and have photos with them (obviously we have tons more photos without them). Oh but pro tip: hire dog handlers because your family and friends don't wanna deal with it, and you wanna be able to send the dogs home early.
#dogblr#happy anniversary to me#haley#bree#arthur#Honestly I was so smart about getting the dog handlers and the like $400 was so worth it#My husband and I still say there's nothing we would change about that day#But if we HADN'T included the dogs we think we would have regretted it#They're family too#Some people are like 'oh no weddings would be stressful for a dog' ... Literally don't make it stressful???#Like lol my dogs have met all the wedding guests and been to busy places and done photoshoots so like how is it any different for them haha
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I need to quit this job I need to quit this job I need to quit this job I need to quit this job I need
#gabby rambles#i take 4 days off cause i never take days off and they go hiiii go fuck yourself we permanently gave your route to someone else lol <333#and now this will impact your hours🤪 whoopsieee heres a different route on the other side of town#at my fucking limit bro#but my animation job ends in may so if i quit ill have nothing . maybe its worth it. it doesnt pay well anyway#ill never get out of my rooommm haha <3333333
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Unfortunately for everyone involved, Brent doesn't understand the concept of being bought a joke, like, why would someone SPEND MONEY on a joke? Since Karen's his friend and bought him a shirt, he's like. Legally obligated to wear it at least once... ? Probably?
So while he suffers over the idea of wearing it and not wanting to wear it at work he eventually would wear it and Karen would suffer the fact she needs to actually not try to joke too much in a teasing way if it's gonna be Treated Seriously. Right suffering from being gay because oh, Brent looks nice in color. (Chris would find out about it at work that he missed Brent in color and just stares at Karen because she is an absolute menace how did she manage that.)
#oops i fell in love#it all started when i said i imagined brent getting his hair messed up by one of his cousins and right seeing it#and atticus is like DOESNT HE LOOK SO MUCH SEXIER LIKE THIS and brent agonizing bc he doesnt want to hear that from his cousin#and then right is like well im too gay for this conversation because yeah kind of on the cousins side#and atticus beaming and then the person i was telling said shed like to see him less formal#with like a short sleeved button up or just a jacket rather than a suit coat#and im like brent would turn to dust if you put him in short sleeves haha but a jacket would be nice! and doable! probably for him!#and then i realized WAIT KAREN WOULD ABSOLUTELY BUY A HAWAIIN SHIRT AS A JOKE FOR HIM#and he would not realize it was a joke and he has to please his friends or else they will be disappointed so he HAS to wear it#like he legally has to wear this shirt at some point but he would wear a suit coat over it but#it was a gift from karen :c he has to wear it :c :c she would be heartbroken for the gift to go to waste#and then everyone (karen and right in this situation) would be like oh no he looks miserable but also v good#for what it is worth there are many times where right points out to brent that the only reason paul talks to him sometimes is#because hes just really gay and paul is suffering a dude crush so clearly in the dumbass's brain the gay guy is the only solution#then points out I DONT EVEN TOUCH PEOPLE EVER WHY IS HE FUCKING LIKE THIS#and brent is like truly a mystery im sure it has nothing to do with his trust in you#but anyway#one day im gonna draw brent in that shirt and it will be miserable for him but hell do it for karen
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idk whats worse the idea that my parents genuinely dont believe that mental illness exist or the apparent reality that they Do believe in mental illness they just dont think people need accommodations or medication. is this a joke. taps on the glass let me out of my enclosure
#i didnt tell them abt my dyscalculia or the autism but i did tell them about the adhd and the anxiety#they were both like 'oh we've known since u were a kid' AND U DID NOTHING ABT IT ????????#and my dad pulled the 'oh haha u just wanted the diagnosis so u could get special treatment for school' what if i beat the shit out of u#i cant believe my parents watched me in high school fighting for my fucking life to pass my classes#and just. didnt think it was worth seeking a diagnosis or accommodations.#theyre such like. throw you in the deep end so you'll learn how to swim kind of ppl. but would it kill u to throw me a life jacket. would i#also !! to the anon who sent me the long message abt whether i should tell my parents about my diagnoses#that was very nice of u thank you :] i kept it in my inbox so i could look at it lol#anyways. ugh its fine its whatever. the response i expected tbh. whatever!#jc.txt
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Between
2x08 S: "As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me. Because at the end of the day, helping my friends is more important than anything in the world!"
3x03 Mei: "So wait, how did you get your gold vision back again?" MK: "I don't know! The same way I got them in the first place I guess. Every time I learned a new ability, it was because there was something I NEEDED to do, when there was no other way. Against the gold fish guy I NEEDED to do something to save my friends!" P: "Yeah, friends that YOU put in danger on purpose!"
3x10 MK: "NO! Mei is my best friend, I’d never abandon her when she needs me. We’re heroes! It’s what we do!",
3x14 MK: "A perfect world is what you make it. So as long as I have my friends by my side...this world! Is! Perfect!”
4x01 MK: "Honestly? I’m kinda liking the world as it is, right now. So...if it could just stay like this, forever? That would be awesome." SWK: "Yeah well...forever’s a long time bud...trust me."
4x02 AL: "It’s too late to save them! We can’t risk unleashing the curse into the world." MK: “You don’t know! We’d risk it for sure! I won’t abandon them when they need us."
4x07 IMK: "You can see it, can't you? This is your fate. Your friends will turn on you, seeing you for the monster you will become. They will destroy you, harbinger of chaos."
4x11 MK: "We have to try, he'd do the same—for any of us." and
4x14 YT: "I know full well what would happen should Azure fail. But- but he is my brother. I owe him my life." S: "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends. But at the cost of the world?" P: "I'm sorry pal, but NOTHING worth that price!"
I'm like, really worried scoob.
#''Oh haha tdp may get into the life of one person VS the life of the world and CHET may definitely happen but at least I'm safe in LMK-''#''-what do you mean one friend isn't worth the cost of the world. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WON'T ABANDON THEM WHEN THEY NEED HIM.''#MK IS LITERALLY GOING TO TRADE THE WORLD FOR HIS FRIEND'S LIVES. FUCK ME. I CAN'T ESCAPE ANYTHING#Actually no. NO NO WAIT IT COULD BE WORSE.#It might legitimately come down to destroying MK or destroying the world. Or a choice that seems like those are the only two outcomes#''They will destroy you harbinger of chaos'' OH MAN. WE'RE SO FUCKED.#Nothing is off the table anymore. Azure died painfully on screen. s4 was the worst thing ever. IT'S OVER#Good thing s4 was all about false dichotomies right hahahahahaha#This comes down to: would pigsy sandy and tang really not pay that price for someone they care about.#This isn't about Mei I know SHE would. She'd do literally anything for her friends. BUT THE OTHER THREE.#SANDY CONTRADICTS HIMSELF IN 2x08 AND 4x14. I'M SCARED SCOOB#WHY MUST EXCHANGE AS A THEME BE IN EVERYTHING I LOVE#sorry if this is hard to read/incomprehensible lol#I am just like. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#lmk#lmk rant#lmk parallels#lego monkie kid#monkie kid
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I know you’ve got this already, but I also was starting to think you’d left. I’ve loved your art and style for Psychonauts, they’re very awesome! Anyway, have a good one and take care of yourself
reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated
(but thank you!)
#although i am a little bemused at where this is coming from haha#i've still been posting a couple of times a month at least? and way more over on the other blog#nothing big happened and i'm not going anywhere any time soon!#it's just that this remains a hobby for me#and it's second priority to my job and my social life#i'm still thinking about these guys pretty much 24/7 though for what it's worth don't worry#ask
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So so indebted to u for posting those lovely illustrations from Cyrano <333 & even more so for yr tags!! I'm completely in love w yr analysis, please feel free to ramble as long as u wish! Browsing through yr Cyrano de Bergerac tag has given me glimpses of so many adaptations & translations I'd never heard of before! I'll be watching the Solès version next, which I have only discovered today through u ^_^ As for translations, have u read many/all of them? I've only encountered the Renauld & Burgess translations in the wild, & I was curious to hear yr translation thoughts that they might guide my decision on which one I buy first (not necessarily Renauld or Burgess ofc). Have a splendid day & sorry for the likespam! 💙
Sorry for the delay. Don't mind the likespam, I'm glad you enjoyed my tags about Cyrano, and that they could contribute a bit to a further appreciation of the play. I loved it a lot, I got obsessed with it for months. It's always nice to know other people deeply love too that which is loved haha I hope you enjoy the Solès version, it may well be my favourite one!
About translations, I'm touched you're asking me, but I don't really know whether mine is the best opinion to ask. I have read... four or five English translations iirc, the ones I could find online, and I do (and especially did, back when I was reading them) have a lot of opinions about them. However, nor English nor French are my first languages (they are third and fourth respectively, so not even close). I just read and compare translations because that's one of my favourite things to do.
The fact is that no translation is perfect, of course. I barely remember Renauld's, but I think it was quite literal; that's good for understanding the basics of the text, concepts and characters, but form is subject, and there's always something that escapes too literal translations. Thomas and Guillemard's if I recall correctly is similar to Hooker's in cadence. It had some beautiful fragments, some I preferred over Hooker's, but overall I think to recall I liked Hooker's more. If memory serves, Hooker's was the most traditionally poetic and beautiful in my opinion. Burgess' is a whole different thing, with its perks and drawbacks.
Something noticeable in the other translations is that they are too... "epic". They do well the poetic, sorrowful, grief stricken, crushed by regrets aspects of Cyrano and the play in general, but they fall quite short in the funny and even pathetic aspects, and that too is key in Cyrano, both character and play. Given the characteristics of both languages, following the cadence of the French too literally, with those long verses, makes an English version sound far too solemn at times when the French text isn't. Thus Burgess changes the very cadence of the text, adapting it more to the English language. This translation is the one that best sets the different moods in the play, and as I said before form is subject, and that too is key: after all, the poetic aspect of Cyrano is as much true as his angry facet and his goofy one. If Cyrano isn't funny he isn't Cyrano, just as he wouldn't be Cyrano without his devotion to Roxane or his insecurities; Cyrano is who he is precisely because he has all these facets, because one side covers the other, because one trait is born from another, because one facet is used as weapon to protect the others, like a game of mirrors and smoke. We see them at different points through the play, often converging. Burgess' enhances that. He plays with the language itself in form and musicality, with words and absences, with truths masking other truths, with things stated but untold, much like Cyrano does. And the stage directions, poetic and with literary value in their own right in a way that reminded me of Valle Inclán and Oscar Wilde, interact with the text at times in an almost metatextual dimension that enhances that bond Cyrano has with words, giving them a sort of liminal air and strengthening that constant in the play: that words both conceal and unveil Cyrano, that in words he hides and words give him away.
But not all is good, at all. Unlike Hooker, Burgess reads to me as not entirely understanding every facet of the characters, and as if he didn't even like the play all that much, as if he had a bit of a disdainful attitude towards it, and found it too mushy. Which I can understand, but then why do you translate it? In my opinion the Burgess' translation does well bending English to transmit the different moods the French text does, and does pretty well understanding the more solemn, cool, funny, angry, poetic aspects of Cyrano, but less so his devotion, vulnerability, insecurities and his pathetism. It doesn't seem to get Roxane at all, how similar she is to Cyrano, nor why she has so many admirers. It does a very poor job at understanding Christian and his value, and writes him off as stupid imo. While I enjoyed the language aspect of the Burgess translation, I remember being quite angry at certain points reading it because of what it did to the characters and some changes he introduces. I think he did something very questionable with Le Bret and Castel-Jaloux, and I remember being incensed because of Roxane at times (for instance, she doesn't go to Arras in his version, which is a key scene to show just how much fire Roxane has, and that establishes several parallels with Cyrano, in attitude and words, but even in act since she does a bit what Cyrano later does with the nuns in the last act), and being very angry at several choices about Christian too. While not explicitly stated, I think the McAvoy production and the musical both follow this translation, because they too introduce these changes, and they make Christian as a character, and to an extent the entire play, not make sense.
For instance, once such change is that Christian is afraid that Roxane will be cultured (McAvoy's version has that infamous "shit"/"fuck" that I detest), when in the original French it's literally the opposite. He is not afraid she will be cultured, he is afraid she won't, because he does love and appreciate and admires those aspects of her, as he appreciates and admires them in Cyrano. That's key! Just as Cyrano longs to have what Christian has, Christian wants the same! That words escape him doesn't mean he doesn't understand or appreciate them. The dynamics make no sense without this aspect, and Burgess (and the productions that directly or indirectly follow him) constantly erases this core trait of Christian.
Another key moment of Christian Burgess butchers is the scene in Arras in which Christian discovers the truth. Burgess writes their discussion masterfully in form, it's both funny and poignant, but it falls short in concept: when Cyrano tells him the whole discussion about who does Roxane love and what will happen, what they'll do, is academic because they're both going to die, Christian states that dying is his role now. This destroys entirely the thing with Christian wanting Roxane to have the right to know, and the freedom to choose, or to refuse them both. As much as Cyrano proclaims his love for truth and not mincing words even in the face of authority, Cyrano is constantly drunk on lies and mirages, masks and metaphors. It's Christian who wants it all to end, the one who wants real things, the one who wants to risk his own happiness for the chance of his friend's, as well as for the woman he loves to stop living in a lie. That is a very interesting aspect of Christian, and another aspect in which he is written as both paralleling and contrasting Cyrano. It's interesting from a moral perspective and how that works with the characters, but it's also interesting from a conceptual point of view, both in text and metatextually: what they hold most dear, what they most want, what most fulfills them, what they most fear, their different approaches to life, but also metatextually another instance of that tears/blood motif and its ramifications constant through the whole text. Erasing that climatic decision and making him just simply suicidal erases those aspects of Christian and his place in the Christian/Cyrano/Roxane dynamic, all for plain superficial angst, that perhaps hits more in the moment, but holds less meaning.
Being more literal, and more solemn, Hooker's translation (or any of the others, but Hooker's seems to love the characters and understand them) doesn't make these conceptual mistakes. Now, would I not recommend reading Burgess' translation? I can't also say that. I had a lot of fun reading it, despite the occasional anger and indignation haha Would I recommend buying it? I recommend you give an eye to it first, if you're tempted and can initially only buy one.
You can read Burgess' translation entirely in archive.com. You can also find online the complete translations of Renauld, Hooker and Thomas and Guillemard. I also found a fifth one, iirc, but I can't recall it right now (I could give a look). You could read them before choosing, or read your favourite scenes and fragments in the different translations, and choose the one in which you like them better. That's often what I do.
Edit: I've checked to make sure and Roxane does appear in Arras in the translation. It's in the introduction in which it is stated that she doesn't appear in the production for which the translation was made. The conceptualisation of Roxane I criticise and that in my opinion is constant through the text does stay, though.
#I have a lot of opinions about translations in general tbh but this is not a semi clear case like in Crime and Punishment#in which there's one detail that a translation must do for me to recommend it (it used to be the one but now in English several do it)#I wouldn't recommend Burgess as a first approach to the play‚ but having already read the play and knowing the text and characters#and how Burgess may modify it‚ then I wouldn't not recommend it because it is the best in form in many aspects#And while he fails in direct concept‚so to speak‚ form is particularly important in this play and in conveying concept and characterisatio#So idk personal taste is it I guess? Again I am not an English or French native#I vehemently recommend reading the play in French if you can and haven't done so already#Even best if you want a translation to read the translation alongside the French text#to see how the translation bends the play in form and subject#Anyway... Sorry for the long delay and the too long reply. I always end up talking too much#Oh by the way I think I saw you talk about the blood/tears motif in the act IV in some tags? It's not just act IV#The tears/soul motif is repeated through the entire text linked to Cyrano and is opposed to the body of Christian#That's why the culmination in the last act and the tears in the fourth hit so much#Like the constant of Cyrano being linked to the moon and the darkness while Roxane is the sun and the light#And also I would argue the 'pearled perfection of her smile' is not an unidentifiable trait or intangible#It's poetic and metaphoric but it's a description of her teeth. Small‚ straight‚ white. Perfect teeth. That wasn't so common back then#It's quite common in classic literature to find poetic references of good teeth spoken of in these terms#Anyway...#I hope you'll find some use in this that would make the insufferable wall of text worth some of the time at least#After all time spent is a little death. I would have hated to kill a fragment of you for nothing haha#Cyrano de Bergerac#Did I tag asks? I usually delete them after a while so I think I didn't? I never recall#I talk too much#That will suffice#Hmmm it's useless in any case. I think I've talked for over twenty tags before tagging that#A wall of text and somehow I ramble in the tags nonetheless ugh#I will reread this in a bit to see if it's coherent enough. The little screen of the phone always makes me lose track of things when I writ
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Tell us more about Jake's chrub connections. 👀
can i tell you more? i don't think i have formed anything close to a conclusion here. or even, like, an argument. but i can certainly collect my observations and comparisons into a pepe silvia style conspiracy board (see below the cut & click for full size)
that was fun! it's like scrapbooking for insane people. obviously keep in mind this lacks full context and is probably cherry picked as hell. i did not have time to reread the entire comic in one night. i'll come back to this some time
#so yeah nothing more substantial as of yet#i swear i will actually return to this subject at some point but. not tonight#i may actually have to reread first since it has been A While#and like. i'm pretty sure someone has pointed these things out before me but whatever#but yeah. angels. he's named and styled after LE. the arguable aromanticism is just another thing he has in common w callie specifically#there's also the idea of LE embodying patriachy and grandpa harley as a failed patriach (which might extend to the entire hope aspect???)#honestly the desire / sex / masculinity / parenthood stuff going on with hope is a whole other avenue i've been down before#worth noting that i tend to come at this kind of stuff as a like. stylistic formal parallel as opposed to some sort of in-universe influenc#also haha. chrub#ask
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#feel free to reblog the meme if u like lmao#just leave the tags out#vent.txt#<- sorry just need to have a moment lmao#inflicted w the yearnings for romantic relationship yet again 😞 but so keenly aware of how much I’d have to unpack in myself to truly be a#part of it#like. I don’t trust people. I don’t confide in people. I tell them nothing about myself for years and years and I used to resent a little#that that was enough for them. that they didn’t NEED to know. that me loving and caring for them was enough. but it’s so silly because like#how can you resent people for not knowing what you won’t tell them. so thankfully THAT has passed#but it’s just like. there are so many issues. like I just CANNOT conceptualise myself as romantically attracted#attractive*#not even in a self deprecating sense it just feels like an immutable fact. I can’t imagine someone looking at me w romantic desire.#and it’s like. I honestly don’t know if I could let my walls down enough to actively love someone back like that#it’s so easy to love from afar. and hell haha maybe THATS because it’ll always be easier to love someone when they can’t know all of you to#love in return#but I just don’t know how I can do it. I don’t know how to view the risk as being worth it#and at the end of the day I’ll be okay if romantic love isn’t in the cards for me. you can live a happy life without#but ah fuck. sometimes the but I am so lonely.jpg hits
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Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.
#ventings#drew up a really cute sketch and I will be honest I wanna share it at this stage sooo bad but my brain keeps telling me#that my dialogue writing is atrocious. so i guess im keeping this to myself until its lined lol#its going to take so much for me to share it and not go `sorry if this is ass haha..` BECAUSE I DONT WANNA SOUND LIKE IM FISHING#FOR COMPLEMENTS. IM NOT. I JUST GENUINELY DON'T THINK A LOT OF WHAT I COME UP WITH IS GOOD#LOL. LMAO EVEN idk im not even sad about this its kinda just pissing me off. can i not be confident in my works at least once#i think this is why i dont write a lot either. cuz id love to do it more i just constantly think what i put down is complete ass and it#demotivates me. positive comments are nice and i appreciate them sm but then my brain goes back on its bullshit#going to throw up and cry so many talented people surround me and i genuinely do not get what anyone sees in me LOL#like you can follow people who emulate the fnf style better. you can follow people who make better ship art or fics#you can follow people who are funnier. the worst is feeling like everyone around you is a moment away from realizing youre#actually worth nothing and dropping you for someone better at articulating things or who are funnier or are less annoying or#okay i just looked into the invisible camera and gave a toothy smile and a thumbs up to stop myself from crying i think#ive gone far enough into this. im going to bed#sorry everyone who sees this i promise im not normally this much of a sad bitch!#my inhibitions are just lowered cuz im tired and also all of my friends should be asleep rn so im not gonna accidentally#make people feel bad for me cuz of this. gluh. ive got shitpost doodles in the works ill be back to being goofy shortly
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Now i know this blog is obviously for.. well. Front facing pokemon, but your tags are always super interesting. I think your opinions on pokemon are pretty neat
i've gotten a few asks like this so far, and it's always nice to see that folks aren't annoyed about how much i talk in the tags. i have lots of opinions on lots of things! and i like to talk a lot. the reason i started talking more in the tags is actually because of asks like this—folks saying they liked seeing what i had to say on particular pokémon has encouraged me to actually talk about my thoughts more (although if you regularly read my tags, i tend to get off-topic pretty quickly. i queue these up very early in the morning, as soon as i get up, and i'm usually a little delirious), especially compared to my first early posts on this blog which didn't even have any tags at all, beyond the names of the pokémon. you're one of the like 4 ffp-mod likers how's it feel
#not pkmn#ffp-mod? i dunno if i like how that sounds. i'm just like out here. i'm just like. a bitch. just like. a fucker that exists in the world#a pokémon just like the rest of you! right?#this also gives me an opportunity to say holy shit the blog hit 1000 followers? which is like nothing in the grand scheme of tumblr#when my man rodney realpokemon is out here with like 20k but that's a lot for *me*. that's way more folks than i'm used to#it's a good thing i'm not actually Making any content for this blog so i don't have to be worried about the output. it's just pokémon innit#if a pokémon looks bad it's nintendo's fault. not mine#anyway. thanks for sticking around‚ i s'pose—though it's not necessarily benefitting me very much‚ unless i turn on that “tips” button#but doesn't that just look so self-absorbed? haha yeah. my posts are good enough to deserve my followers giving me free money#some folks who are genuinely making content on here it's like. fine. but for me? someone who just posts pokémon staring at the screen?#i can't imagine anyone really seeing it as worth it to pay me for that#also holy shit i'm doing it again. the thing where i talk in the tags and make them a mile long. i'm cutting myself off here this is the en#clearly folks sending in asks is just my opportunity to continue talking more because i definitely always take the opportunity#to continue talking. and not stop talking. here i go again
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most ��its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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