#i wish shed just not give me a check and just try with me

[xicanaroja]

That awkward moment when you spend $95 as a 23yo with a minimum wage job on your little cousin for Christmas, all in gifts tailored towards things you know she loves and gifts she specifically talked about wanting months previously, and her mom (your maternal aunt) gets you a pair of the Walmart value brand earrings, a Walmart clearance couch pillow that you can't use until you move out, and a check for $75 because she literally doesn't want to think about you and anything you like.

[theotherbuckley]

Tommy’s dad dies on a Monday.

He checks his emails on a Wednesday. There’s an email from his aunt. It’s only a few sentences. She was always very succinct and to the point.

His dad is dead.

It was a heart attack.

Bastard didn’t even suffer. 

He stares at his laptop screen until the words start to blur together. For an hour, he just sits there, looking at his computer but not really seeing anything at all. His coffee is long since cold. He never even took a sip. 

His mind feels empty, like there’s this fog that’s settled inside, clouding over his thoughts. He’s stuck. His brain doesn’t know how to process this, and neither does his body.

So he stays frozen. Just staring.

He doesn’t notice the time until he feels large arms wrap around him from behind.

“Tommy?” Evan asks. It doesn’t sound like the first time he’s spoken.

“I—“ The words are stuck in his throat. 

Tommy turns around from his chair, blinking a few times, until he manages to say, “My dad died.”

“Are you okay?”

That’s all it takes for Tommy to break.

He opens his mouth, closes. Shakes his head. 

And he just—

Cries.

Full body-wracking sobs overcome his body as he slumps into Evan’s open arms. He shakes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he burrows his face into his boyfriend’s neck. He’s getting snot and tears all over Evan’s shirt but his boyfriend doesn’t complain, just squeezes him tighter as he continues to be overwhelmed by his emotions.

He doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He just can’t seem to stop. 

He cries and trembles in Evan’s arms until he’s run out of tears left to shed. Evan murmurs sweet nothings into his ear, holding him tight and never letting go. 

“I’ve got you. I'm here,” Evan whispers in his ear. 

He feels like he’s run a marathon by the time he’s calmed down enough to pull back from Evan. His hands shake as he wipes the tears from his eyes, Evan’s own warm hands coming to hold his. 

“I don’t— I don’t even know why I’m cry—crying,” Tommy hiccups. He’s sure he must look a mess, red-faced and covered in tears.

Evan gives me a soft look, a small comforting smile on his face as he presses a kiss to Tommy’s forehead.

“You lost your dad. You’re allowed to cry,” Evan says kindly.

Tommy just shakes his head. “But he wasn’t— he wasn’t good.” He has an awful, vile human who never gave two shits about him. Only cared about him being a man, enlisting, stepping up. He doesn't understand why his chest still aches like his loss matters. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Evan wraps his arms around Tommy. He’s practically sitting on him, but Tommy doesn’t mind. Not when it’s Evan.

“He— He was a big part of your life, Tommy,” Evan says, running his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “And now he’s not. You’re allowed to be upset.”

Tommy just nods, collapsing back into Evan, who rubs gentle circles on his back in comfort, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He lets his boyfriend soothe his pain with his touch. He wishes it didn't hurt in the first place. Still doesn't understand why it does. He hated that piece of shit.

He's glad he's dead.

He hiccups as another tear makes it's way down his cheek. Evan squeezes tighter.

“Is there a funeral?” Evan asks softly.

Tommy almost laughs. “There’s no one who cares enough to give him one. He doesn’t even deserve one.”

“But you do,” Evan says sincerely.

That gets Tommy to look up, eyebrows raised in question.

“You deserve to have the closure,” Evan continues. “It’s a lot better than trying to pretend you’re alright when you're not. Trust me.”

“You lost someone?” Tommy asks. Evan’s never talked about it, but maybe—

“No, no. I just know what it feels like to— to bottle your emotions up when it comes to the people who are supposed to love you.”

“I’ll speak to my aunt about a funeral,” Tommy says. Evan gives him a soft smile and a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling him close again, Tommy wasting no time to burrow into the corner of Buck’s neck, soaking up the comfort of his boyfriend.

“I love you,” he murmurs into his shoulder.

“I love you,” Evan repeats back. 

[creepling]

Johnny fucking Stockholm’d!Reader in the back of one of the old cars behind the family house? 👀 In one of your mini fics you mentioned him taking her out to the sunflower fields, maybe that’s when it happens?

busted cars and sunsets - j. slaughter / 1k

an: hey i kinda went astray from relating it to the sunflower field drabble but it still has all that other good stuff you asked for!! i also ended up writing more than i thought so i hope you like it<33

tags: smut. MDNI. gn!reader. stockholm syndrome (kinda??). descriptions of trauma. canon-mentions of violence and cannibalism. innocent, sheepish reader. johnny is surprisingly gentle and nice?? but it might be a bluff. making out. grinding. fucking in a car. doggystyle. mentions of kidnapping.

Johnny was looking everywhere for you. Nancy was calling for supper, and you weren’t in the shed like you said you would be. He tried not to think about it too much, the thought of you running away or trying to escape. Maybe you got distracted or went inside for a drink. The sun was setting, and Johnny’s worrying crept up, forming a lump in his throat.

You were sheepish. At least you have been with the Slaughter family. Every minor squeak or crack sent you scattering. Maybe it was the trauma of trying to escape the house, the first time you ate human flesh, or the fact that the family kidnapped you. It’s been so long since the incident that you have begun to accept your fate and grow fond of your captures. Are people still looking for you? Or have they given up like they did with Maria? The thoughts clouded your mind, and you hugged your legs in the back of the rusted car in the Slaughter’s yard.

Johnny realised real quick where you were hiding. He noticed that you liked hiding, growing attached to your company. Johnny wished you grew attached to him, but adjusting to a new life takes a while. That is how he perceived it: you were lucky, the family liked you, and they spared your life. Now you’re one of them, and he can make you happy. Johnny made his way towards the cars, the ones too far gone to fix, and peered inside the busted-out window to see your trembling frame.

“Hey, sweetheart. Why you all bundled up in here?” Johnny said, surprisingly, in a soothing voice. You peeked your head up, giving a meek smile. You like it when he speaks softly. It is the only thing that makes you feel safe. His effort on tenderness is bearable, given the circumstances.

“Nubbin’s trap set off while I was picking flowers. I got scared,” You say. Johnny knew you were telling the truth from the look in your eyes. He motioned his hand to your ankle, checking for injury. “Don’t worry,” You reassure, cringing, “It didn’t get me.”

Johnny let out a stressful sigh. “That darn idiot. I’m gonna beat him over the head,” Johnny spat under his breath. He looked over at you, seeing you back into the corner as he displayed anger. He relaxed his cold stare and slowly opened the rusty door, sliding into the seat next to you and resting his hand on your knee.

“You got nothing to be scared about. No one’s gonna hurt you no more. Nubbins is just being reckless with his traps. Y’know, he puts them around to catch the rabbits.” Johnny reassures, levelling with reason in hopes you calm you down.

You sat silently until another call for supper came from inside the house. You looked at Johnny, twiddling a piece of string from your shirt. “I’m not really hungry,” You mutter, “Sorry…”

Johnny nodded in understanding, rubbing your calf with a gentle stroke. “That’s all right, darlin’. You can eat whenever you feel like it,” He knew Nancy wouldn’t like that much, but he certainly would protect you if she nagged you for it.

“Can we stay in here for a while? Watch the sunset?” You enquire, the thought of it making you smile. Appreciating the small things became a method to keep your sanity. It also made excuses for being around the house, a place you find troubling.

“Alright, but we go inside once the sun’s down, okay?” Johnny reasoned, and you nodded happily. 

You crawl over to Johnny and rest your head on his chest, spotting the sun meeting the horizon at your eye level. Johnny only had his eyes on you, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair, his tongue sliding along his bottom lip in thought.

“It’s beautiful,” You mutter, charmed by the colours in the evening sky.

“You’re beautiful,” Johnny claimed, his body sensing bashfulness prevail over you.

You look into his eyes, a slight smirk on Johnny’s face as he admires your innocence. Subconsciously, Johnny’s lips lean closer to yours. You stood still like time was frozen, fluttering your eyes shut when he kissed you.

He was rough but passionate as if to prove something to you. His hands explore you, cupping the back of your neck, grasping your thighs, tracing circles on the small of your back. You would be lying if you didn’t find it pleasant, giggling as he nibbled on your bottom lip, whispering sweet nothings. Your hips grind against him, feeling Johnny’s hot breath on your cheek as he gasped. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that, darlin’,” He chuckled, “You’ll get me worked up,”

“I can’t help it,” You laughed, your words conflicting with your innocent tone.

“Keep going,” Johnny purred, resting his hands on your waist and guiding your hips. You comply, watching the lustful stare in his eyes as he admires the movement of your body. You hike your shirt up, teasing him as you expose your stomach, slowly raising it until your chest greets his stare. Johnny gazes longingly up at you before entangling you into his hands and kissing you roughly.

“I need you so bad,”

The sun was greeting the horizon, the sky a deep tangerine, matching the tarnished colouring of the car. Your hand presses against the window, and a deep moan breaks loose from your confounded expression.

“Keep going, please, please-” You plead, gripping the busted leather seats to adjust to Johnny’s length inside you.

Johnny hunches over your body, teeth scraping down your spine, holding you in place with his rough hands. Estranged strands of hair sticking to his forehead. Sweat highlights the arc of his muscles.

“You’re so good for me,” He pants. He had to make this quick; otherwise, the family would set out looking for him. He feels you tightening around him, making him bend further down and grip your shoulders, burying his face into your neck.

Johnny’s groans grew husky, sending shivers down your spine. Arching your back, you grind into him. The profoundness of his cock inside you makes you fumble over your moans.

“Yes, baby. That’s it,” Johnny encouraged, rutting into you. “Keep fucking going.”

The rate of Johnny shagging into you eventually lends him his climax, and yours perfectly lines up with his. Both of your clothes are hanging by threads on your bodies. You collapse in each other's arms. His arms engulf you as you straddle his lap, your eyes drunk with lust, admiring your kidnapper, your disastrous love affair. 

“You’ll never leave me, will you?” Johnny asked, staring into your soul, soaking in everything about you.

“I would never,” You breathe out.

“Promise?” Johnny pleaded, brushing a strand of hair from your glistening face, basking in your doe-like glow.

“I promise,” You whisper, kissing the scars on his knuckles. Your mind goes astray, maybe from the lustrous high or because you made a promise you might not keep.

[sueheesblog]

I just wanna share something my friend had said to me when we saw The Bear SZN 1 n 2 for the first. I remember she said "Oh, he's looking at her like he saw her before n he's shock to see her here (at The Beef)". This was SZN1 E1. I thought Carmy was just smitten by Sydney. You know, maybe he thought she was was pretty. I never thought about what my friend said.

Now, she finished SZN 3, and she decided to put a bunch of nonsense in my head like she did(or tried to do) with SZN 1 n 2. She's now saying "What if Carmy decided to check who got his blood orange dish and saw Syd" "what if Syd knows Carmy through magazines n Google. But, Carmy knows Syd because he actually saw her and remembered her from the restaurant in NYC " 😭😭😭 - This shit never crossed my mind. This is some outta pocket, otta box, and outta the ocean thinking 😂🤣😂🤣

I know my friend is crazy n extra. I wish she used social media 😭😭 But, her way of thinking made me feel stuff n thangs. She's trying to convince me that Carmy had a crush on Syd before they met in EP1 SZN 1 and that is why he never called her out on the "My dad use to eat here every Sunday" lie. She also thinks the reason y Syd calms Carmy's panic attack in Ep 9 SZN 2 was because he received the highest compliment from the woman who turns out to be the person who enjoyed his first meal (the follow his heart meal), who is now his new crush.

She used these things to back up her crazy theory.

1. Carmy was ready to give Syd what she wanted after 1 week of meeting her. "This is what you wanted" SZN 1:3

2. His sublet stares and smiles when he saw her or spoke to her.

3. The fact that he took it hard when she walked out on him n called him "a piece of shit".

4. Telling T that she dresses like Syd.

5. Gave Claire wrong number because he's over her. And things are going great with him and his new crush (Syd)

6. He's asking Syd "you happy" in SZN2:3. Because making her happy, makes him happy.

7. Then Claire used the Faks (who are now known has a family of haunting) to find Carmy

8. Carmy's past is now haunting him. My friend also said the haunting actually started when Claire enters Carmy's life, but season 3 is using the Faks to shed light on it. Therefore, she believes Carmy is having a hard time facing Claire, because he knew from the beginning he didn't like her, but decided to give her a chance to see if his crush for Syd would fade. The worst part is that Claires haunting comes with alot luggage (Carmys mom, his old boss, Mickey, and everything bad)So basically my friend thinks both Syd n Carmy have a crush on each other, but none of them know it, and they both refuse to be the first one to confess it. And they are now aware of the shit they will have to go through together if they decide to acknowledge that invisible string between them and still stick by each other.

Y'all my friend got me Fxcked all the way up after she finished season 3, and started telling me all them crazy stuff..... I need y'all to agree with me that she's crazyyyyyy. Maybe someone can use her crazy ideas and write a fanfic?? Please.

[cruyuu]

hii! are there any really good (and preferably long) sukuita fics that you like? love ur analyses btw and thank you ❤️

Hii anon! Sorry for a very, very late answer. I've been busy as hell and just chose to put this ask in the drafts and then forgot about writing out my answer.

I've already replied to one similar ask some time ago but since you're asking for my opinion and for them to be long, the list that I have in my head with my colorful commentary is under the cut. Hopefully, you'll find some of them as interesting as I did.

The Tale of the Peach Blossom Prince by ChumbalieWumbus

First fic I ever read for sukuita. Let's just say it blew me away with its attention to detail and worldbuilding. This fic isn't strictly just sukuita though, it's rather a sukumeji? (there's a polyamorous relationship between Sukuna, Uraume and Yuuji) fic. It's understandable to skip this if you're looking for strictly sukuita fics but I do suggest you give this a try since it's rather long and quite well done. As a Yuuji fan, I adore it personally. This fic also has some gorgeous fanart too! (Which I will unfortunately not link because it's featured at the end of the story and it will spoil major things regarding it). Now, my comments aside, short summary is: The Culling Games are happening. Yuuji fights someone (not Sukuna btw) and ends up traveling back in time to the Heian period. Chaos ensues.

All in all, I had a blast reading it and I recommend it heavily.

Ten Years and a Day series by EvilPeaches

This isn't really a chaptered fic but is a series of two fics sitting at 21k words so ofc I'll feature it here. It's the written out what if Sukuna wins? scenario where Yuuji remains alive which is a type of fic I had been hunting for at the beginning when I grew to love these two and this checked off all the boxes for me. It was practically wish fulfillment. Genuinely beautiful and harrowing and quite in character too which is a must for me.

I am a sucker for canon (and canon divergence) fics but if that's not what you're looking for then I highly recommend checking out No Eviction Notice by the same author too, which is a long AU and heavy on the plot (angsty as hell too, so beware).

Istrouma by trashygivency

An ongoing work but trust me it is so worth it. Like I said, I'm a sucker for canon and this fic delivers, especially because its set during the Culling Games arc, where the sukuita divorce is in place. Well, things take a turn and Sukuna and Yuuji magically reunite and walk through memories together. One thing leads to another and trust me, it's wild. It's a reincarnation AU and oh my god they were roommates past lovers with good characterization and a plot which centers on their forgotten then remembered past. My commentary can't do this fic justice so please check it out!

Blood & Snow by megumiblues

A breath of fresh air amidst the tragically-depraved (is that a word? lol) works I had been (and usually am) consuming of these two. If you're not that into tragedy, don't want them to ruin each other and tear at each other or don't want their love and union to have catastrophic or deadly consequences, this is your fic. It's still them in all their glory (yknow hate, Sukuna being a bastard, etc.) but surprisingly soft and beautiful. All I'm going to say is that the author did a good job at this AU, both with the plot and Sukuna and Yuuji's characterization. It actually made me shed a tear too so that's a big, big thumbs up for me.

Speaking of long-written soft sukuita...

I'm Sick Of You by Cogni_Diss

also makes the list! It's five chapters long and is also quite tame. It's funny, a bit sad but also quite beautiful. I adore this author and their take on these two idiots so make sure to check out their other works as well. As for the summary: This is a canon divergence fic and with each finger Yuuji swallows, Sukuna grows stronger but here swallowing something ancient has consequences unlike in canon. It's tooth-rotting fluff (with some angst, nothing severe tho) and these two terribly in-canon. Check! it! out! if you want a remedy to the heavy and hard ride these two can be.

Ok, now back to the dark side.

Collision by Serkerde

A genuinely, unfortunately ongoing but extremely interesting A/B/O AU fic where Sukuna is, put plainly, himself (a dick) and an Alpha. Slowest of burns with sukuita is a weird idea in an AU where everything seems to be driven by instinct. Or is that the case? Yuuji (and the modern world) would disagree. Basically: you have an Alpha who is one of a kind (called a Prime) and Yuuji who belongs to the dwindling numbers of Omega. Not your average ones ofc. A very heavy plot ensues with them slowly, slowly, veeery slowly falling for each other. The author has their own twist on the A/B/O Universe which is why this fic is an interesting recipe from the start. Throw in these two and you already have a divine meal cooking.

Also highly recommend checking out Should Immortality Be So Mortal and In Our Flesh series by the same author! I hold SIBSM and IOF series close to my chest because I adore how this author writes these two. <3

The Shape Of Our Souls by O_ToJoy

Another breathtaking (also ongoing fml but don't let that stop you), heavy on the plot with an interesting premise A/B/O AU story. It deals with the future and follows a non-linear narrative. Yuuji is an Omega who has kids with Alpha Sukuna and guess what? The merger happens in this fic. Trust me this fic is gorgeous and a blast. Everything is handled incredibly and passionately and I can't put into words how obsessed I was with this fic when I first found it (which was a couple of months ago). I still love it and have it in my 'read for later' for updates. The characterization (of all, not just Sukuna and Yuuji), the world-building, the plot... It's incredible truly.

Apotheosis series by cafedelmar

I love authors who vibe and just write, trying to unwind and explain the unexplainable and unattainable. Taking characters into their own hands and just going with the flow. Sukuna is a God in this series, the fics follow a non-linear narrative and are slightly AU-ish. It's all vibes basically but it's brilliantly written, heavily centered around Sukuna being something larger than what we've seen of him in canon. I love love love authors who can put the unexplainable into very clear-cut explainable and this author does it extremely well. Yuuji is Sukuna's vessel and this series is riding the Dark!Yuuji vibe (which is also one of my fav ideas) because sure, power is addicting itself and having a God entertain an idea of giving it to a weak-in-comparison Yuuji (Yuuji the key point here) is a whole another addicting thing in itself. All in all, heavy Season 1 vibes and gorgeously written.

And since I'm talking about S1 vibes...

Nuns with Guns by surverycorpsjean

is also a recommended read for those who find the one body/two souls situation so very interesting. This one is hauntingly beautiful and extremely well-written. It's not a chaptered fic but it is nearly 20k words long so it made it on the list. I was on a hunt for fics which explored this situation down to its ugly, twisted, terrifyingly beautiful core (because canon gave us nothing :( ) and this one blew me away, especially with it's characterization. Definitely check this one out if you're stuck on S1 sukuita and their weird ass hatred which could translate into codependency and not death because why would they be normal about each other lol. That's boring.

vinegar heart by vavavavoom

Yuuji, cursed from birth, is made for Sukuna, yet unlike in canon, acceptance is the path he is forced to walk on here, until he grows to love it and hate it because this is an AU! Selfishness, cruelty, codependency and sukuita with Yuuji who is suffering (it is what it is style) and Sukuna who's obsessed with him (basically canon lol). What more could you ask for? Joking aside, this fic takes place in an AU and has God Sukuna who... I shouldn't spoil it. Let's just say that Sukuna isn't the same Sukuna we see in canon. He's much more accepting of Yuuji here, even though he mocks him and belittles him and everything. I mean the tag "Possessive Behavior" is right there so... yeah. The reason why I held my hand from writing out the spoiler is bc 1) it'll ruin your experience and 2) it adds an interesting undertone to the story and basically makes you go "Ohhhh". Check it out!

not the temple, but the lamb slit up inside by obscyr

Interesting as hell and definitely one of the extremes ones. Beautifully written as well. I started it like two months ago but then dropped it because I was busy and it had been sitting in my notes app for quite some time until I caught up to it recently. As you may have noticed, I am down bad for codependency, but I am also down bad for seeing how bad things could get. Sukuita, in all its glory, is problematic as hell, but if you throw them into an Modern AU, make Sukuna a cannibalist + suspected? serial killer and have Yuuji as his nephew who's lowkey growing obsessed with his mystery and is also a mystery himself- I'm going to shut up now because I will spoil the plot- you get this hell. It has 9 chapters, and the plot moves a bit slow but if you're intrigued, then definitely give it a read and ofc, if you are overwhelmed with this fic or just don't like it, feel free to skip.

Aconitum by AttackRabbit

Another ongoing fic which I recently got addicted to. Again, it's ABO AU but not overtly typical one, and heavy on the plot and world-building. Can you imagine that the author had actually invented a language for Sukuna? Yes! It's that amazing. In this fic, Yuuji is a war veteran who works as an apothecary and he stumbles onto injured Sukuna. Brilliant characterization, a unique plot and if you don't read and translate Sukuna's sentences, he's basically half-a-mystery. Much love to this fic because it is incredible!

And that's for the list! A big shout-out goes to Character Assassination by MayTheSixth which I also started reading a couple of days ago, but because it's quite a long work, I never got around to finishing it. It's also an ongoing one, but I'm loving it so far so you can check that out too!

And there you have it anon. Happy reading and have a wonderful day or night!

[luna0713hunter]

Tell me a lie

Part 1

Modern au!Choso x reader,breakup,angst,hurt/comfort,happy ending i promise

The day you break up with Choso, ironically,is the anniversary of the day you two met.

Breaking up with Choso,was easy;you two weren't real couples to begin with. The whole thing only started out as a joke;since the two of you kept getting hit on in College almost every day,you thought it'll be a funny idea to play pretend with your best friend.

"what if we pretend to date?i bet that'll help us out."

It was a joke. A stupid, thoughtless joke.

A joke,that got real too fast.

"what if we did?"

So you did. At that time,it seemed like the best idea; after all,you and Choso never had any romantic feelings toward one another,so it wouldn't hurt right?

But breaking up did hurt. No matter what.

Falling in love with Choso was easy. Of course it was;he was the kindest guy you've ever knew. He was your best friend since the first semester in college,and the only guy you could rely on.

Falling in love with Choso was easy, because you've always loved him deep in your heart.

The sky was blue,night was dark,and you loved Choso Kamo.

Simple as that.

But as you watch Choso stare down at his hands across yours on the small table tucked in the corner of a cozy cafe,you cant help but to wonder how easy it would be to reach out and wrap your fingers around his.

But no. You wont do that; because that wasnt the deal. You both had agreed that after college ends,so does your fake relationship. And thats why you're here;to end whatever was going on between the two of you.

"so...thats it." You clear your throat,trying to muster enough courage for an awkward smile, "the last day of college. "

Choso doesnt say a word.

"what,uh,what would you do now?"

Your eyes remain on the way his long, elegant fingers tap against the coffee mug he's holding.

Tap,tap,tap

"I'll look for job. Take care of Yuji."

"oh yeah!you mentioned he's gonna live with you from now on,must be exciting!"

And finally,Choso looks up. And how you wished he'd continue to look at you forever.

"if we're done here,i should go pick up Yuji from his daycare."

And you just nod, dumbfounded as he grabs his coat and pays for both of your drinks. You dont say a word,not until he's almost out of the door,before glancing back at you with the smallest,most forced smile you've ever seen from him.

"it was nice being with you,y/n. Take care."

"you too Choso..."

I Love you

You dont say. Instead,you just sit there,staring out of the cafe window as the first snowflakes of winter start to fall.

And if you've shed a tear or two,no one would know.

+++

"yes!yes thank you so much!!! I'll head straight there!!!"

As you rush to the nearest bus stop,you check the address your friend has sent you. If you took the bus right now,you would be there in no time!

Why the rush?

Lets just say,job hunting was going nowhere. So as soon as your friend from college mentioned she knew someone who needed a sitter for their sibling,you jumped at the opportunity.

As you get off the bus,you double check the location your friend has sent you and smile;the house is nothing big,just a regular household you see on streets. The front yard has few flowers and plants,and when you ring the doorbell,your heart beats loudly against your ribcage.

The door swings open,and when you dont see anyone in front of you, you raise your brow until you hear a tiny,excited voice calling for you.

"Hi y/n!!"

Your eyes draws downward,and you let out a small squeak;the small boy standing in front of you is nothing but adorable. His spikey pinkish hair is messy,and his big brown eyes are so innocent. There are scratches and small bruises on his cheeks,arms and knees,and the huge, blinding smile he's giving you makes anyone's heart melt.

But that's not the reason you're almost having a heart attack no.

The reason is-

"Yuji!i told you not to open the door without me!!"

Yuji,the small boy turns around and smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry,Choso-nii!"

You swallow,and as you're wondering if its too late to turn around and run,the man himself,Choso freaking Kamo opens the door wider and upon seeing you,grows quiet.

There's an awkward moment where neither of you say anything.

"...y/n. Why are you here..?"

You cough,and hold up your phone for him to see.

"Remember Yuki,from college?she told me her friend needed a sitter for his younger sibling...so.."

"You're my new sitter,y/n?!"

The small squeal has you melting and you knee in front of Yuji and ruffle his hair.

"hey Yuji,i see you still remember me."

The boy gives you a toothy grin, showing you he's missing a few,and nods.

"Big bro always talks about you-"

"Yuji," Choso's calm voice snaps both of your heads his way, "why dont you go watch tv while we speak?"

Yuji,the ever polite kid he is,rushes inside. Leaving you alone with your kinda-friend who you haven't seen in six months.

Not since your break-up.

When Choso clears his throat,you nervously glance up at him and hate the way your heart throbs,even after six months.

You still love him.

"so," he awkwardly steps aside, "want a cup of tea?"

[serial-serializednovelreader]

It's crazy to me that people call Jonathan a himbo, he's so methodical and clever! It makes sense that Mina would be attracted to someone bright too

Yes, anon, you’re so speaking my language!!! I do wish people would stop calling Jonathan a himbo because — nothing against himbos — but Jonathan is not one of them! And yes, it totally makes sense that Mina would attracted to someone as clever as him, and since she’s also so smart, I’m sure the feeling is mutual.

Before y’all come shouting in my inbox “what do you have against himbos??” and “Jonathan is totally a himbo, what are you talking about?” Let me clear things up:

First of all, I love himbos!!! Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove — peak himbo, imo — is one of my favorite characters. Am I attracted to them? Well…no. As you can probably tell from my last Nova’s Notes, I’m more the kind of person who’s attracted to cleverness or when people nerd out. BUT I cherish himbos for all of their wonderful qualities and if I ever get the opportunity to meet one in real life, I would love to be friends with them! <3333

Secondly, for anyone who’s still saying Jonathan is a himbo…

Himbos have to embody all three qualities equally to be considered himbos! If they are not kind? Not a himbo. Not strong? Not a himbo, I’m sorry! I do make the rules of himbo, I simply follow the rules.

Now on to our good friend Jonathan Harker’s case.

He is undeniably kind. From what we’ve seen so far (not to mention later), he is not only loving to his fiancée, he is kind to strangers as well. He takes gifts from the villagers, even if he does not understand them. Just a couple of entries ago, he was willing to risk his life over a child he didn’t even know (and the same night after he had screamed running away from the women, too). Some of the Dracula Daily book club on here suspects (as do I) that some of the reason he’s so eager to spring into action the next day is to put a stop to Dracula’s evilness for other people, not just for himself. Heck, he’s even talked about Dracula’s good qualities after finding out he’s a prisoner!!! So, kindness? Yes! ✅

As for strong, there’s not as much evidence here, but I would call him somewhat strong because not just anyone could successfully scale a castle wall twice in one day like that! That takes a lot of strength in your core, arms, back, etc. Sure, Dracula can do it — but Dracula is also a vampire with super strength. Maybe it’s easier than I think it is, but I’m not exactly going to look for a castle to try it!! So for Jonathan to crack his knuckles and go “yeah, he can do it, why can’t I?” is both hilarious and shows that he must know something of his own strength. However, he’s also a solicitor and I doubt he’s built like a bodybuilder. So, strong? Maybe not as much as a typical himbo, but let’s give him the check mark because Lizard Fashion is nothing to sneeze at. ✅

Now for the ditzy part….I’d have to say no to that. Himbos are meant to not be “the sharpest tool in the shed” (yes, I did have to hit you with a Smash Mouth reference, sorry not sorry) and Jonathan is farrrrr from that.

Everything he has done so far has been methodical and smart. I covered this in my other Nova’s Notes (you can look under the hashtag on my page if you want to see more :D) so I really don’t want to go through too much I’ve already gone through, but the arguments I’ve seen for him being a himbo — based on the entries we’ve already read — are that he’s not smart because he:

Doesn’t heed villager’s warnings

“Let’s” himself become a prisoner

Is nice to Dracula after he knows he’s a prisoner

Talks about his fiancée a lot (???????)

For the first point, we’ve gone over this, but here we go again — he doesn’t heed the villager’s warnings, no. But keep in mind none of them actually say “The Count is a super dangerous man!! Don’t trust him!!!” Here’s the passage:

“When I asked him if he knew Count Dracula, and could tell me anything of his castle, both he and his wife crossed themselves, and, saying that they knew nothing at all, simply refused to speak further. It was so near the time of starting that I had no time to ask any one else, for it was all very mysterious and not by any means comforting.

Just before I was leaving, the old lady came up to my room and said in a very hysterical way:

‘Must you go? Oh! young Herr, must you go?’ She was in such an excited state that she seemed to have lost her grip of what German she knew, and mixed it all up with some other language which I did not know at all. I was just able to follow her by asking many questions. When I told her that I must go at once, and that I was engaged on important business, she asked again:

‘Do you know what day it is?’ I answered that it was the fourth of May. She shook her head as she said again:

‘Oh, yes! I know that! I know that, but do you know what day it is?’ On my saying that I did not understand, she went on:

‘It is the eve of St. George's Day. Do you not know that to-night, when the clock strikes midnight, all the evil things in the world will have full sway? Do you know where you are going, and what you are going to?’ She was in such evident distress that I tried to comfort her, but without effect. Finally she went down on her knees and implored me not to go; at least to wait a day or two before starting. It was all very ridiculous but I did not feel comfortable.

So here’s the thing: you can see that the only thing the innkeeper’s wife explicitly warns him against is going to the castle that night because it’s a day in their culture where evil spirits are considered to have full sway.

The innkeeper’s wife does ask him if he knows “where he is going and who is going to” — he says no, but she does not speak further on the matter. When he asked about the Count before this, they just refused to speak! I know that may seem like an implicit warning — and it is — but some people on here act as if Jonathan was supposed to have known why they were crossing themselves and immediately have left? Like, he obviously feels uncomfortable, but as he states before and afterwards: he has a job to do. If you were in his position: a newly-appointed lawyer (or position of your choice), and you went to a place where the locals told you not to visit your client that night because it was a night where evil spirits would come out: would you honestly believe them? And if you asked about what your client was like and they just crossed themselves and refused to speak on the matter, would you simply leave the town and tell your boss “nah, sorry, the villagers warned me against him. I decided this client’s not for me”? I guess that honestly depends on you, but I would think not if you want to keep your job!! I know that’s not ideal, but to be fair, he also is not given a fair warning before going in.

There is also that incident in the carriage where he hears those villagers talking and he picks up bits and pieces (including the words werewolf and vampire) but a) they’re not talking to him and b) he doesn’t pick up enough to even indicate who they’re talking about!! In fact, he thinks they’re badmouthing him!!! (Which is understandable, he can only hear a bit and he’s translating on the fly). Again, how he is supposed to automatically know: “oh, Count Dracula is a vampire and I must flee this place immediately.” We know that because Dracula has been a pop culture icon for 100+ years, but Jonathan doesn’t have that kind of knowledge. I feel it’s kind of ridiculous to call him not smart for not knowing this.

However, and this is important, he does take some of this warning to heart. He does take the crucifix and the other vampire-repellent gifts the villagers bestow upon him, despite his skepticism and ignorance of the culture (thanks, English colonization /s). He feels uncomfortable and anxious before he even goes into the castle, literally saying goodbye to Mina in his diary in case he doesn’t make it back!! He keeps the crucifix in his room and uses it to ward off bad dreams and for safety against Dracula (which is not really how he’s supposed to use it, but he wasn’t really told how, so I don’t really blame him for that).

I don’t think a himbo would’ve picked up that something was amiss at any of these points, not until it was too late at least. I think for this test, just picture Kronk (or your fav himbo) in this situation. Would they even notice something was up? Or would they go cheerfully towards the castle?

As for the second point — this is kind of unrelated to the himbo question but — what kind of victim-blame mentality is this????? I have seen people unironically (at least I’m pretty sure it is?) post that Jonathan deserves the abuse he’s getting because he didn’t heed the villager’s warnings (which I already talked about above) and/or he’s “rude” to Dracula. I’m sorry — WHAT???? So if you’re rude to somebody they’re to allowed to lock you up in their castle???? That’s a fair trade? I beg your pardon?! Just…ok. Believe what you want, but maybe let’s not blame the guy who’s been a prisoner in a random stranger’s castle for a month and is sure he’s about to die? Yes, this is fictional and not that deep, but still — weird take.

Back to the himbo question, I mean, he doesn’t really let himself become a prisoner. He’s at Dracula’s castle for a job. Once he’s done with that job he’s ready to leave, but Dracula makes him stay because he literally locks him in!!! He then explicitly tells him he will stay longer and Jonathan has to accept because he is there in place of his boss, and saying no would be like speaking (negatively) for his boss — and Jonathan is not going to do that. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think a himbo would be able to see all of that subtext within that conversation. I actually don’t know this kind of interaction between a true himbo and Dracula would go, but I imagine not well. Dracula thrives off of interesting conversation and wit, as well as being able to maintain a facade of host and guest. I just don’t see if someone like Kronk could maintain that for long because he would probably be like “but I don’t want to stay longer, let me go” or something, which would end the “game”.

Moving on to the third point, he is nice to Dracula after he knows he’s a prisoner for a reason. When he realizes he’s locked up (which he realizes super fast, by the way), he sits down and has a good, long think about what he can do. More passage evidence!

“I am thinking still, and as yet have come to no definite conclusion. Of one thing only am I certain; that it is no use making my ideas known to the Count. He knows well that I am imprisoned; and as he has done it himself, and has doubtless his own motives for it, he would only deceive me if I trusted him fully with the facts. So far as I can see, my only plan will be to keep my knowledge and my fears to myself, and my eyes open. I am, I know, either being deceived, like a baby, by my own fears, or else I am in desperate straits; and if the latter be so, I need, and shall need, all my brains to get through.”

So he knows Dracula is up to something (or he’s jumped to conclusions) and either way, talking about it is a bad idea. The only way through is to act like nothing’s wrong for now and try to get information out of Dracula. Other than that, he’s going to need to use his brains! Yes, he does talk to Dracula and acts nice — but it’s with a plan and a purpose. Dracula has creeped him out from the start, but he has always been able to maintain good cheer around him. Now, he will put that to use.

So for this himbo test, it’s kind of similar to the second one. Were Kronk in this situation, he would make it by for a while because he probably wouldn’t notice the doors are locked. But once he did…I’m not sure if it would be like the second point where he’d immediately tell Dracula “hey why are all of the doors locked” and the game is up or if his shoulder angel/devil characters would come out to help him. I guess it depends! And to Kronk’s credit, he has figured things out before (e.g. figured out who Pacha was and in relation to Kuzco) *but* it took him like 12 hours after the fact and that’s not how Jonathan operates. Jonathan figures out things pretty quickly. Does he need time to think sometimes? Yes. But he’s pretty much always thinking and trying to figure out more once he’s at Castle Dracula. I just don’t see these two in the same vein here.

For the final point, I haven’t seen much evidence for this, but it needs to be addressed. I think sometimes people tend to equate WifeGuy with “no thoughts, head empty only for wife” and that can be true!!! There are definitely characters like that and I do love them so. Jonathan is undeniably a WifeGuy (and Mina’s not even his wife in name yet), bringing her up anytime he gets a chance. I would argue though that just because he’s in love and brings her up a ton doesn’t mean he’s also not clever and methodical. You can be in love and smart: these can coexist. Mina is a very smart character from what we’ve seen already and she’s in love too!

I don’t really have a Kronk case study for this one, but like anon said — I think Mina is attracted to Jonathan for his smartness and it goes both ways. They love each other for many other reasons (there’s a lot to love!), but I imagine that’s kind of the cherry on top for them.

Why does this matter? I think calling Jonathan a himbo is reducing his character a bit here. Again, I’m not saying being a himbo is bad, but it does discredit his methodical ways and strategy he has in the castle. His methodical nature is part of personality and pretending that doesn’t exist erases his character, in my opinion. Additionally, it raises the question: could a himbo become a lawyer? I…don’t think so…but maybe? Find me a himbo who’s a lawyer and prove me wrong I guess! Wait is Phoenix Wright a himbo…? Question for another time.

In conclusion, Jonathan Harker only passes 1 part of the himbo test (kindness) with flying colors. The strong test he only passes by the tail of his lizard fashion, and as for ditzy? He fails miserably. Recall that for someone to be a true himbo, they have to possess all three traits equally. Even if you could make the case for one, you’d still be missing another. So, no, I don’t think Jonathan Harker is a himbo. You can maybe argue with me that he has himbo moments (if that’s a thing, idk), but overall? No.

[danikamariewrites]

Yay! So happy you’ll write for them! I have an Aidas request.The reader is Bryce’s friends and meets him through her. They are immediately drawn to each other and grow really close. The war is over and he has to go back to Hel. They are trying to figure out how they can still be together. It can be angsty/fluffy/smutty. Lol just whatever you are feeling.

Honestly I’d be happy with anything to do with him. 😂

Hel is Heaven With You

Aidas x reader

A/n: Hi anon, I love this idea and I think of Aidas and his love interest as Hades and Persephone. I might do another part for this if I can think of another story for these guys.

Warnings: none

With the Asteri gone and the war won all that was left to do was send the armies of darkness and nightmarish creatures back to Hel. Once the fighting was over Aidas had given you a choice. Come to Hel with him or stay with your friends.

The first time you met the Prince of Hel was in Bryce’s apartment. His clear blue eyes had captivated you, charming and flirting with you as he danced around giving Hunt and Bryce answers. You felt drawn to the prince since then. Every night you saw him in your dreams. He seemed so real, there were times when you would wake up and swore Aidas was in a dark corner of your room.

When the attack during the spring happened Aidas had checked on you, making sure you were safe. He got into the habit of staying with you for days at a time and eventually you fell for each other. Confessing your feelings was hard. With the both of you being from different worlds you didn’t know how a relationship would work.

It’s been two days since Aidas gave you the choice to come with him. You had spent your time weighing the pros and cons of the situation. You must admit it was enticing, the thought of going with him to Hel. You would miss your friends but Aidas had promised you could see them whenever you wished. Besides them there wasn’t much keeping you on Midgard. Your brother and parents, being the snobby fae they were, cut you off when you stood by Bryce’s side after Danika’s death.

It wasn’t a hard decision after all. Trudging through the harsh snow in Nena with the army of Hel you had your bag slung over your shoulder. You hadn’t told Aidas what you decided yet, deciding to second guess yourself on the trip back to the Northern Rift. But you had said your goodbyes. A lot were tearful, especially June. You swear Fury shed a tear, though she denied it.

You had waited to say bye to Bryce at the rift, not wanting to feel the pain for two goodbyes with your best friend.

As the army filed through the rift back to Hel you said your goodbyes to her and Hunt, promising to visit. When Aidas was the only one left you finally faced him. “Well?” He asked, raising a perfectly groomed blonde brow at you. You held out your hand for his in answer.

Aidas seemed shocked as he took it, smiling down at you. As he pulled you towards your future together Bryce called out, “Wait!” You and Aidas turn to face her. “Promise me something Aidas. Promise me you’ll take care of her.” Aidas bowed his head at the fae queen. “I swear on my life, Bryce Quinlan, that y/n will never have a need or want that isn’t met.” Aidas raises your gloved hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the outline of your knuckles.

Bryce nods, the corner of her mouth tugging into a smirk as she says, “I’ll come kick your ass if I find out otherwise.” Stepping through the rift you both look at Bryce and Hunt one last time. “I’m counting on it.” The Prince replies before Bryce seals the rift.

——

Hel is not like you thought it would be. Bryce had told you what it was like after the Caves. But this was different.

Aidas’s kingdom was always in a state of dusk and darkness. His castle wasn’t what you thought either. You expected a fairytale version of a gothic castle with tall black spires, all open air windows and breezeways, floating on a ripped piece of earth among the clouds.

It was nothing like that at all. His home was more of an estate, surrounded by a tall, black wrought iron fence, the grounds covered in hedges and stone statues of his and his brother’s creations. The three story manor itself was black, gray stone moldings decorating the peaks and windows.

The interior was just as hauntingly beautiful as the exterior. Black, white, and red were the main colors decorating the house. Thick velvet curtains guarded the windows. Intricately carved wood made up the walls and bannisters, making the home feel alive. Pulling off your gloves you ran your hands across the ridges.

Aidas slipped your bag from your shoulder, waving his hand it disappeared into thin air. Aidas stepped closer to you, gazing into your eyes as he peels off your layers of winter wear. Handing over your stuff to a butler you didn’t even see approach.

“Come, my heart. I want to show you your new home.” You smile up at him, twining your fingers together again as he leads you through the house.

Aidas left you to get aquanted in your new room, which happened to be his room. You spent your time unpack what little you brought with you, finding Aidas left you plenty of room. He had a new dresser built for you along with a matching vanity. The prince also split his closet in half. When he told you that you were confused as to when you would fill it, is there even a mall on this plane of existence?

Finally curious about how much space you have to fill you pull open the ornate, wooden double doors. As the First Light comes on you gasp. You didn't need to fill the closet, it was already filled for you. Gowns and dresses on velvet hangers, shoes and slippers across racks, along with your clothes from home all neatly folded on the shelves above them.

You gape at the expensive fabrics, running your fingers across the garments in wonder. Knowing Aidas went out of his way to make sure you were clothed and well looked after had tears pricking your eyes.

No one had ever cared for you the way Aidas did. Not even your parents had paid this much attention to you.

Blinking away your impending tears, Aidas clears his throat behind you. Turning, you find the Prince of the Chasm casually draped against the door frame. “Is everything to your liking, my heart?” You smile brightly at him. “It’s perfect. And it’s more than I could ever ask for, thank you, Aidas.”

Aidas pushed off the door frame, striding over to you. The prince towers over you as he looks down at you. Bringing his pale, slender hands up to hold your face Aidas presses a kiss to your forehead. “I told you, my heart, you will never have to want again.”

[gvtted-ratz]

read all our tags/ratings. they r important n give u all u need 2 decide if u wanna actually read or not. do not like the tags/rating? do not read.

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Mission Failed

Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish

Last Edited: 17/03/2023

TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention

@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

Word Count: 2,654

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!

At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.

The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.

With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.

Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.

It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.

The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.

And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.

With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.

Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.

“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.

“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.

“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.

“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.

“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.

Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.

With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.

“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.

“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.

“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.

The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.

While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.

“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.

“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.

“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.

“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.

“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.

“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.

“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.

“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.

“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.

“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”

“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.

“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.

“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.

“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.

“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.

“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.

Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.

[cultofdixon]

That’s one hell of a goodbye

Negan Smith • She/Her Pronouns • Youngest Dixon!Reader • You miss your brothers. You were separated from them since the beginning…then this “savior” found you and grew a liking to you that he did everything to bring your family back. No one said…that blood wasn’t going to be shed for such • ANGST/SFW • TW: Canon Violence / Anxiety / Injuries

Requested by: Anon

Negan stepped out of his car walking the old yet familiar neighborhood to clear his head when he heard footsteps, fast paced ones. He quickly picked up his own to follow the sound and when he reached the house he normally visits, a woman aimed her gun directly at him trying her best to keep standing even if by the looks of it. Her leg was bothering her.

“I ain’t here to hurt yea. I’m unarmed” this was true. On these trips he takes alone, he leaves his gun and knife in his car.

“Are you alone?”

“Yes. You’re hurt. I can—-“

“I’m just peachy. Were you following me?!”

“I don’t even know who you are, darling—“

“DONT CALL ME THAT” She snaps, causing herself to stumble a bit as she lowers her gun to crouch a bit gripping her leg. “Fuck”

Negan slowly approaches her as she gave up trying to aim her gun but she did stumble back trying to avoid him getting to her. “Listen. I’ve got a community. With a doctor. He can patch yea up”

“You think I’ll just roll over and trust you right off the bat?” She scoffs continuing to pull herself away.

“No. But this could be a start.” He extended his hand and the woman hesitantly took it. Letting him full on pick her up so that none of the weight would rest on her leg.

Next thing the woman knew she was being carried into this building that looked like an old factory, but she was taken to a well set up room. Something she never exactly had but it looked like the rooms she stayed in when wandering the destroyed world.

“Who’s that Negan?”

“She needed help, mind getting the doctor and tell him to meet in my room?”

“Sure. Is she—-“

“She ain’t a danger. Ain’t bit either.” Negan states pushing the door open with his back and laying the woman down on his bed as she quickly sat up.

“Your name is Negan?”

“Heard it before?”

“No, you don’t look like a Negan…that’s all”

“What do I look like?” Negan laughs. “A Jeff?”

“Not that either” She laughs a bit bringing herself to the edge of the bed. “Just a unique name I guess”

“What’s yours? Given I brought yea here and getting the doc to check you out”

“Right. Right! Makes sense to share my name too…it’s Y/N. Y/N Dixon”

Negan sat in the conference room staring at Simon after being told about the massacre in one of their outposts. The grip on his bat could’ve snapped it in half if he continued to hold it as tight as he did.

“Get the vans ready, and given these people have some connection with our man Gregory in the Hilltop?” Negan gave Simon a look only he understood. “Go get the patrols to keep an eye on these people. Block a few roads. Narrow them in until my big reveal”

“On it, boss” Simon states making his leave as Negan notice him hold the door for a moment to let Y/N in.

The big bad scary leader of the Saviors took his bat and set it aside pushing his seat back enough to give his woman to bring herself onto his lap.

“Were you eavesdropping again?”

“Mm. I know the demon like things you do behind closed doors when I’m not around you.” Y/N brought her arm around his shoulders as he held his head low when she said such. “What happened to turning a new leaf Smith?”

“A lot of my people died. I can’t just turn a blind eye”

“Hm. Sometimes I wish I never learned about what you’ve done. But that would be asking the universe for a lot now wouldn’t it?”

“Are you leaving again?” Negan frowns keeping her close as she messes with the scarf around his neck eventually tugging it off. “Takin’ a piece of me with yea?”

“Mhm. I won’t be gone for long this time. I have a lead”

“Oh? Are you going to tell me about it?”

“Nope”

“Then all I ask is for yea to take a radio and be safe.” Negan gently rubs circles on her back as Y/N gently held his chin forcing him to look at her.

“Don’t do anything too risky, Negan”

And with that she got up from his lap leaving the room to go finish getting ready. Leaving Negan to contemplate everything.

“You’re leaving” Negan frowns finding Y/N rummaging through one of many pantries. She was fascinated by how much the community had but part of her was leaving from something she heard.

“Yeah. I have to find my brothers. I’m not going to give up even if the burning feeling in my chest is telling me something bad happened to them or they stopped looking for me”

“You can always come back to the Sanctuary. There will always—-“

“Listen. Negan…I don’t understand you” Y/N stops stuffing her pack giving him a saddened look. “When you helped me here, I thought I was getting myself into a positive situation…but then I found out you have wives and you’ve killed hundreds. You expect me to ignore that? I’ve been here a month and you’ve kept so much from me. Hell you’ve kept an entire side of the community away from me just so I wouldn’t see who you actually are”

“You don’t know who I actually am because before all this? I was just another deadbeat”

“That doesn’t excuse your actions”

“But I’m gonna be honest with you. From here on out”

Y/N gave him a confused look as he slowly approaches her keeping a respectable distance as well.

“Ever since yea came here. I stopped doing my usual bullshit. Inflicting fear onto those I have under my thumb. My right hand has an ego of his own and makes one of the communities I “rule over” go through hell all on his own. Not saying I don’t take responsibility. I just have too long a leash on the man. Besides. The wives yea knew about? Aren’t my wives anymore. They’ll be pissed and not for the fact that I took them as my trophies but because of the hell I put them through. I haven’t killed a soul since you arrived”

“Will you continue if I leave?”

“I wouldn’t force yea to stay if I said yes. But then again, I wouldn’t. You’ve changed me but none of them will ever forgive me”

“You’re going to keep your rule on these people? These communities? And for what? It’s the end of the world. No one is going to want a president. All they’d want is to survive. Remain safe”

“I’m changing a lot. But I know for a fact, I will act on my anger”

Negan sat in the RV that they highjacked from this man named Eugene who was a sobbing mess sitting in his spot in the line up while the Saviors got the rest of this man’s group in line. Including revealing those they’ve caught in one of the vans they brought.

“Negan?”

The man quickly scrambled getting his personal radio out to reply that he was there. His anxiety built when he heard Y/N on the other line.

“My lead was a dead end.”

“I’m sorry darling…you’ll find uh Daryl right? You’ll find him soon”

“Most likely only him. I doubt Merle is still around…it’s a lawless time. Someone probably took out his racist ass”

“Are you heading home?”

“Yeah. Gonna check on Sherry when I get back and give the doc the meds I found”

“I wish I was there to greet yea when you get back…” Negan frowns when she didn’t immediately reply back in any way but he soon heard a sigh. “Y/N?”

“You’re acting on your anger, Negan.”

And her end turned off. Negan gripped onto the radio tightly before putting it away and right on cue he heard the knock from his right hand.

It escalated. It escalated fast and a man is dead. A man is dead and Negan got a shiner from this brute that should’ve had a hard time getting up given the blood loss from his gunshot wound. The leader of the saviors turned to the now pinned brute while a few sobbed over the death of their friend, their love. He crouched to his level seeing him struggle against those keeping him down.

“You have quite the balls on yea, dontcha?” Negan exhaled a short lived laugh as the brute continued to struggle while one of his men, Dwight readied the crossbow in his hand right at his head.

“Daryl has caused us a lot of trouble. Give me the word and I’ll—-“

“Daryl?” Fuck. Fuck fuck F U C K! Negan shouted in his head as he kept a front when internalizing he wished he was dying. “Yea have a last name or what?”

“Like I’ll tell yea” Daryl struggled some more noticing Negan’s grip on his bat get to the level of a white knuckle grip.

“Is it Dixon?” Negan frowns as the silence grew louder especially when Daryl stopped struggling against his men. Simon took note of what he was seeing as he took his radio adjusting the frequency to match the private one between him and Y/N. Something Negan didn’t know that Simon wrote down for his own future gain.

“Daryl Dixon” Negan repeats over and over with spaced out moments until Daryl nodded. “Do these people know you also have a sister? Y/N Dixon”

Rick and Michonne instantly shot a look to Daryl as his body went limp but not from added injury, but from the shock of how much this monster knew about his personal life. Rick turned to his people as they were going through everything that was happening personally and united but he tried to find a way to get them out of there that when he shot Michonne a look, she shook her head. Knowing what was going on in his mind and how it will most likely kill Daryl if he acted…then he wouldn’t be able to reunite with his remaining living blood.

But that didn’t stop Negan from acting on his anger. His anger toward Daryl’s action and toward his own.

Once Daryl was pulled back to his spot in the line up and the man couldn’t help the silent tears that spilled as they only got worse when Negan held his bat with both hands and simply gave up.

“Back to it”

Then another life was taken, causing more pain than he had initially thought. But in his mind he had to make a point…

He’ll never change Y/N frowns holding the radio in her hands as her own tears fell from her eyes. “Simon”

Simon took a step away from the group once the RV drove off with Negan and Rick. Raising his radio to his face. “Yeah?”

“You’re a monster for this”

“Someone has to tell you the truth”

“Is he taking Daryl back to the Sanctuary?”

“Most likely”

“ETA?”

“I’ll chime in when we leave.” Then Simon turns his end of the radio off looking over to Daryl who kept his attention glued to the life that was taken, that he’ll forever take the blame for.

When Negan showed the leader of their group that he means business and that he’ll be going back to how he ran things. He returned to the Sanctuary before the vans did as he was greeted by a saddened Y/N.

“Darling…”

“You killed people…almost killed my brother?”

He held his head down as Y/N brought herself close looking up at him watching how hard he tried to avoid her beautiful E/C eyes.

“Negan did you—-“ Then her attention quickly turned to the banging on the van that suddenly her older brother Daryl stumbled out of. “Daryl. Oh my god Daryl!”

The youngest Dixon quickly ran to her older brother dropping to her knees in order to hug him. The second he latched on the best he could, he fell silent knowing a few tears fell that once his mind was sure it wasn’t playing tricks. He tightened his grasp on her.

“He killed some of my friends, Trouble” He whispers feeling her hold onto him tighter from her end as her tears spilled but hidden in his shoulder that she soon realized was injured.

“You’re hurt”

“Y/N…we have to leave” He whispered.

“You need to see the doctor. I’ll—-“ then Y/N was pulled away by Negan causing the rage to stir in her brother but he was quickly pulled away by a few saviors and then taken to see the doctor they have. “Let go”

“No. He’s gonna see the doc. Then put in your room. Alright?”

Y/N frowns thrashing in Negan’s grasp until he finally let go when it was just the two of them in the loading dock. The tears spilled down her cheeks causing the knife to dig deeper in the man’s chest.

It didn’t take long for Daryl to get patched up and tossed in this unfamiliar room but there were a few things that stood out to him. The first thing he picked up was an old Polaroid of Y/N when she was little and forced her brothers to join the picture. Merle of course not looking at it and Daryl only complying because it was his sister. Then her army green jacket with a patch on the arm for the biker gang Merle was temporarily in. And a few things that were most likely found in the now but scream his sister. Then she finally entered the room met with an angry yet confused older brother.

“You fucking that guy?”

“Woah! No!”

“Are you sure?! Cuz how do you have all of this with a monster like—-“

“Because he changed for me! He changed for me. Then your group triggered that part of his mind that I can’t reach…”

“Why didn’t yea kill him when you first realized—-“

“I didn’t realize until a month of being here and I’ve been here for six now…I—-“

“STOP SAYING YOU THOUGHT HE CHANGED! You learned the hard way just like I did when it came to Merle saying he’d never do meth again. He “changed” but never truly did.”

Y/N turned away to avoid her tears being noticed because she knew Daryl would be upset with himself and apologize. But he was just being honest.

“He saved me Daryl…he…kept me from losing myself when I had endless runs to look for you” She frowns keeping her head down. “I know you and your friends will never forgive him. I can’t for going back on his word…”

“Y/N…you know this place” Daryl frowns grabbing his sister’s shoulders to get her to look at him. “We need to leave and tear this place down with it”

“I can help you leave…but I’m not leaving with you”

“Y/N”

“Daryl” Y/N brushed his hands off of her looking him dead in the eye with the seriousness she held even in this weird reunion. “If I leave without a word, he’ll come after all of you”

“Please…we’ll end him and you go out free”

“The thing is Dar, I’m not trapped.”

The two didn’t share a word for a few days and Daryl was brought to a cell. But suddenly his door opened and Dwight was with Sherry in their streets. The man gave Daryl his crossbow and vest back as Sherry shined a light on blueprints of the building they found. The two that caused a lot of hell for him before the Sanctuary, were now the two helping him out but little did Daryl know that their escape was planned by his sister.

That kept Negan busy, but also in the know of what the future plan is.

“He’ll come after me, darling. I’ll never be safe even when it’s just the two of us”

“Well, you’re leaving this hell behind. You’ll always be haunted, but you’ll never be alone. And knowing my brother…”

He knows when to stop looking

Daryl stood beside Rick and Maggie, including a few of the community heads that were once under Negan’s thumb watching the place burn once they got all the good people out. He took in a deep breath before walking away from the scene ignoring the concerned questions from his family.

As the fire continues to go and the smoke rises from the ruins of the Sanctuary, Y/N stood within the nearby tree line watching everyone leave in the night as she felt Negan gently take her hand after burying his bat for his own sort of send off. She carefully takes out the Polaroid from before looking at it and remembering the past she never thought she’d wish to go back to knowing she never will.

This was one hell of a goodbye

[didoldacc]

penchant ● choi beomgyu

nsfw content, minors please do not interact!

warnings: manipulative themes and mental health problems, heavy emphasis on beomgyu's beauty, religious references(only used to describe beomgyu's beauty, reader doesn't have an established religion so don't worry), hurt/comfort, reader is also an idol, misogynistic themes, no one in the story is "good" but the villain is reader's group member, toxic relationships, mentions of su1c1d3 cheating, first lovers to exes to lovers, hurt comfort, breaking in, topic of drug addiction, possesive yandereish!beomgyu, soft and hard dom!beomgyu, sub!reader, marking, pet names, oral (both receiving), fingering, praise kink, dacryphilia, size kink, unprotected sex, breeding kink, degradation, dumbification, drowning kink, manhandling, multiple rounds, overstimulation, body worship(not just body worship tbh, reader worships beomgyu basically), choking, hair pulling, objectification, beomgyu takes advantage of reader's low point but great aftercare(finally a good thing), a really dumb solution for the conflict this is my very first full-length fic so i don't know how will this go, let me know if there is anything else i should add to warnings that i have missed. also don't forget to read the disclaimers at the end of the story.

qurbone ta hazole ta: "give up(my life for)/sacrifice(myself to) you, to beautiful you."

"they say when god created joseph, he wasted more than half of all humanity's beauty on him. yet here you are. even all of it wouldn't create another you."

an intense pain you feel on your chest. it really sucks that you have no one you trust to talk about what you are going through. but even if you did, you are not sure if you have the courage to tell the truth. so you just find a corner where you can silently cry. a place that no one knows except for him. you don't let yourself cry out even though it is exactly what you need so you just sit there in fetal position and put your head on your knees while tears just keeps shedding.

suddenly you hear footsteps coming towards the room you are in. you just wish it wasn't him. you don't want to face anyone, especially him. you don't have the courage to face him. you did nothing wrong to him yet he is the only person that you don't want them to find out. you feel guilty all over again and even though your mind wants to stop your tears shed even more and your sobs become audible.

and your fear comes true. you hear beomgyu's voice. you cannot comprehend what he is saying but it is not hard to assume why he is here. obviously he had to make a phone call. you try to wipe down your tears before he walks into room and check yourself if you look like you have been crying. and unfortunately for you definitely do. as soon as your hand goes to your purse to find something to clean your ruined make up, you hear the door opening.

he sees you and paniced expression covers his face. your ruined eye make up, your sclera turned red, your puffed face, your messy hair. it is impossible for anyone to not pity you in your state so it is not hard to imagine how pitiful you ex would be in this position.

he immediately hangs up his phone. from what you were able to heard, you assumed that the person on the phone with him was his new girlfriend. your lips move slightly upwards to the idea of him hanging up on his girlfriend for you yet you know better than thinking it meant something, of course he was going to hang up when he saw someone crying.

you pull yourself back when he starts to walk towards you. you don't know what to say or how to act. it is all awkward. one does not show their crying face to their ex boyfriends. you feel your heart racing, you can even hear it. and you find your back hitting the wall when he stops walking towards you.

surprisingly he doesn't say anything. he just comes closer and hugs you. his hands reach your hair and starts slowly patting your hair. while his grip on you thightens. you hear him humming a lullaby he knows you love to your ears. tears fall again from your eyes and sobs follow leaving your mouth. even his smell makes you feel safe. at home. you stay like that for almost an hour when he finally speaks. "so are you going to tell me what has been bothering you or you just want to stay like this?" you want to say yes but you decline his offer. you kept hearing his notification sound the whole time he was trying to calm you down. you know you should create new boundaries with him and also you don't want his act of the countenance ruin his new relationship. you just thank him and leave thinking he would let go.

the minute you leave the room, your phone's notification sound keeps ringing. messages you see yet don't open keep covering the upper side of your screen. you know it's from a certain member of your group. she spams your ktalk to say the same thing over and over again. at first you felt guilty and offered to help her deal with her problems. problems that you technically created. thoughts racing your mind. should you tell someone? your manager? your leader? the ceo? beomgyu?

yet you decide not to even though you know if they hear the story they would side with you or once you show them everything she texted.

you find yourself in front of your parents' house. you didn't even realize you were heading there when you wandered around. guess your consciousness chose here since seeing her would not be a great choice for you right now. luckily your parents were away for the next couple of days. you are not sure if them seeing you like this was a good idea.

you start a warm bath for yourself. maybe this could calm you down. dealing with her has become your full time job. heck even full time jobs had breaks, you didn't have that beautiful privilege.

as soon as your body connects with the bathtub, you hear someone opening the door. a fear -that soon fades when you see beomgyu- covers your whole body.

"beomgyu what are you doing here? how did you get in?" he doesn't bother to answer to your question. just stands there and stares at you. you were able to remain nonchalant yet you felt the urge to ask "why don't you just let go? we have broken up long time ago, i don't wanna be burden to you with my problems. it is not comfortable anymore." he just smirks and walks toward you before answering.

"you naive little thing, you never stoped being mine. and i don't like seeing what's mine get hurt by someone else." you feel a knot on your throat. the urge to cry is undeniable. what does he mean? still his? it's true that you are still single after your breakup with him even years later but at the end of the day you weren't his either.

"don't play dumb with me, princess. i know how obsessed you are with me, never really moving on... don't worry i find it cute." you know he is right. ever since the very first time your eyes had been blessed by his beauty, you only wanted to be his. for a while you were his and getting to know the real him didn't help your case of obsession with him. you started to love him more with everything you had learned, craving for even more. even him dumping you never changing anything.

when he sees your face expression turning calmer, he finally decides to answer the question you have asked when he first walked in. "i still remember the password to doorlock, that's how i got in. i am sorry for following you but i couldn't let my baby go like this." you give him a smile full of pain. "i really want to tell you everything. and i will. just let me get my head cleared first. maybe if you let me finish my bath, i will be on my right mind so i can tell the story without victimizing myself."

a sinister expression covers beomgyu's face, leaving you confused with the sudden change of atmosphere. "without me?" he simply says. he stares at your pupil growing bigger like a cat almost covering all of your iris that expresses your shock. "what about your girlfriend?" you manage to ask. "who cares? she knows she is a nobody i just choose to get my dick wet. i will just have to deal with dumping her but that can wait." you know that beomgyu is not particularly fan of the idea of one true love but you also know that he is not just a player. yet you choose to ignore the words coming out of his mouth confusing you more and accept his request. it is wrong but there is no moral compass for beomgyu's asks.

you miss his beautiful face, his beautiful body, his beautiful everything. so the voice in your head that keeps telling you that this is wrong stands no chance. god must have put all his energy while creating him. because there is no other logical explanation of why he is this beautiful. you watch him get naked. he takes his time, almost like he is teasing you. your eyes filled with admiration, you feel sick to your stomach. how can you even look at him after what you have done. sure, there is no way that he was harmed beacuse of the stupid desicions you made with your certain member yet you felt guilty.

as if he was reading your mind he starts talking again. "you were going to clear your mind, remember?" you nod while his now naked body positions himself right behind you. he made you lean your back on his chest while he starts to play with your hair. "so missed this, can't believe i was the one breaking up with you. but you'll forgive me, right? that's what my girl does." you only hum in agreement. though he doesn't need answers, he always gets what he wants when it comes to you.

his hands slowly start to play with you. light sensual touches againgst your soft skin. his hands move from your arms to your boobs giving them a gentle squeeze. the stimulation you feel on your nipples making you lean towards him even more. your new position allows him to give kisses on your forehead. "gyu~" you shamelessly start to moan his name with the really little play. he smiles and orders you to turn around. when you do he brings you to his lap before starting his abuse on your lips.

what starts as a gentle kiss filled with love turns into his way of devouring you. "gosh, you look so cute. i've missed this. i missed you." your face lights up with his words. you waste no time repeating his words of longing. his lips lifts up when he places his hand to your cheek. "you are so pretty. so pretty for me. only for me." you agree "only for you, beomie."

"want to make me happy?" he asks while grabbing your face. "anything, my god. anything for you." he can't help but get excited with the thing you called him. a god. that's what he is to you, right? his hands moving to your neck, his grip thightens around your neck then he sinks your body to water. "hold your breath as long as you can, baby. i wanna see you struggle. don't worry i will be careful that you don't get harmed. and if it's going to be too much just say no, i will understand. " yet you say nothing and with that he forces yor head under the water. the oxygen losing contact with your lungs. you body activates it's panic mode. you try to get out but his grip keeping you suffocated under the water, only thing you can do is just struggle just like he asked. he slowly stops and helps you to come back to surface. "did i hurt you?" you shake your head assuring him that everything is okay. "you did so good for me like a slut perfectly molded for me." you could feel his aroused state.

"maybe i should reward my precious doll. hmm, right?" you get excited with the news. after making sure you both are clean, he lifts you up and carries you bridal style. when he brings you to your room, you both can't help but feel nostalgic. vividly remembering every single time you both sneaked out during trainee days to have some fun here. exploring each other's bodies and your sexualities. beomgyu takes a pride for being the only one that did these things to you. and he is the only one who can. he made sure of it with planting ideas of everyone else being disgusting but him, only he can love you, everyone else is always after their own best interests, they do not care about you, he also scared away whoever men trying to get close to you and most important thing of them all he made himself your god. he was aware of his beauty and he made sure that it is the only thing in your mind, thinking about it nonstop. why did he break up with you in the first place? who knows but believe it he would lose it if someone else touches his property.

after gently placing to your bed, a trail of kisses on your body, especially focusing on the places he can leave marks to claim you once again and show the world you are taken. he goes back and forth between soft sensual kisses and anilmalistic lickerish kisses. once he is satisfied with all of his bite mars around your nect to thighs, he gives your lips a final kiss.

"will you be a dear and spread those legs for me?" you happily obey without any second thinking, leaving beomgyu pleased. his hands immediately travels to your aching core. "hmm, so wet~ ah this boosts my ego, seeing my angel turning into a slut for me. " he comments before thrusting his middle finger into you. "shit, even more thight than i remember. i bet-" he says while his thum starts to massage your clit. "i bet you can't even take my second finger. i don't think you will be able to take my cock, princess. how are you supposed to? look at you so small compared to me~" he says with a scoff. without a warning he adds his second finger and starts to do scizoring motions to get you ready for his size. but with a sudden change of heart, you feel his fingers leaving your hole and he gets up and sits between your legs. "how about my baby gets an orgasm she clearly missed while not being with me, hm?" before you say anything you feel his lips on your clit and his fingers rejoin the party in your cunny. while his fingers thrusting you with a fast and brutual pace, his mouth is way more gentler with your button. your poor finger playing with your clit wasn't enough to make you cum. you don't know why you never tried anything other than that but he is making it up to you with more experienced skills after your break up.

"beomgyu! a-ah too good, too good! ple- please don't stop." you keep repeating like it'sn invocation. feeling overwhelmingly good, it doesn't take too long for you to get close. "cum for me, hun" his voice vibrates on your core and with that your high reaches to you like waves. only being able to pant, you just lay there. beomgyu smiles and gives you compliments. telling you how good you did for him.

before you can regather your consciousness, he makes you sit on the corner of your bed and sits next to you. hands playing with your thighs. he leans towards your ear. "first return the favor and we are talking, okay? and after that i wanna have more fun with you, missed you so much." he whispers. you nod and get on your knees between his legs.

you start with kissing the tip. gosh it has been so long, what if you scupper it up? your hands hugging his member. you slowly start to push your head towards the length. when it reaches to back of your throat, you try your best not to gag. one hand goes to the places that you can't reach to stimulate there too while with your other hand, you play with his balls. trying so hard to be your best. not stoping your tounge swiling and your efforts to suck the soul out of him. apparently what you do is working cuz he turns into a whimpering mess. "that's it baby, just like that like a whore but only for me."

this only encourages you to go deeper making his body to fall back down. "can't believe you haven't done this in more than two years. you are s- so good~" you feel over the clouds with the compliments.

his breath gets heavier when he gets close. manages to say "shallow every- everything that i give you unless you want- ughmp a punishment." right before he relaeses his liquid for you.

laying right beside him, you give him a moment to rest while you try to think of what you are going to say. when he turns his head towars you, he expects you to speak but now you think maybe your problem wasn't that big. when you keep staying silent, he snaps. looking at you with an angry expression he just says "get out with it."

"should i just tell them all at once or-" he interrupts "doesn't matter as long as you get it out off your chest." you keep only looking at him for a little while before you say "it is dumb and i really don't wanna bother-" he interrupts again. "me? you really think it's gonna bother me? you know maybe the only one thing about is your stupid overthinking. i want you to tell. and i don't care if you are comfortable or not. i deserve to know. and if it was that stupid why were you crying like a toddler, hm?" he kisses your cheeks and hugs you. panting your back while giving your face sweet kisses.

"i started it, i thought i was the bad guy. but now i realize that even though i am not innocent, i am the victim, the one who got abused and manipulated." he breaks the connection to see your face. "can you elaborate, darling? who did what to you?" you blink your eyes when you feel them getting dry. beomgyu slightly chuckles to your silliness for forgetting to close your eyes for so long. "go on, i am listening. gosh my silly girl. even missed this."

"i- i don't know why i was doing that, now i find it extremely cringe but i had this similar thing to drug problem." a shocked expression covers his face with the unexpected news. "you did what?" you cringed at yourself even more. "i know it is so dumb but i needed something to cope, you know after we broke up." he smiles "i understand, i wasn't making fun of it or judging. i was just surprised. it is just so unexpected from you. you are scared of authority and public opinion first of all and this thing also hurts people around you and that's where you draw the line. it all is okay though. this doesn't make you a bad person." say says reassuring you.

"yes but i might kinda have shown that little habbit to one of my members and they might have also started it because of me. but i swear i warned her and told her to stop constantly. and i didn't even show or suggest her that. she just saw me doing it one day and she also started to have an addiction it consumed her as a whole. she stopped doing anything productive and always talked about it even when she was not gambling. and i felt guilty." he looks at you with a warm expression this time. "i am starting to see why this is stressing you out that much. and you are talking about 'nincompoop' i am assuming. she was always problematic and a stupid loser. why can't she decide for herself in her age? i don't see the problem here, you are not responsible for an adult who is capable of making her own desicions. "

"i still haven't told you everything..." you stop "okay baby, i was just trying to be responsive. go on, tell me everything, i am listening." you continue "well, later i realized my guilt was unnecessary. i am not victimizing myself, don't get me wrong but she pushed me more into that rabbit hole. you know i am kind of naive-" he interrupts again "not kind of, you are." you speak up. "GYU!" he giggles "i am not calling you dumb, though i can easily get you there with my touch~ you are just too trusting and do not question people around you that much." this time you say nothing, enjoying his teasing but you decide to continue yet again. "since i am KIND OF naive, i started to become the one who is influenced badly rather than being the bad influence. i was rather a casual than an addict. but she was definitely. she then got caught by our manneger. he let it go and told he is not going to tell the ceo. she felt afraid. she was so scared. i felt guilty and promised i will help. she had nothing to be afraid of but you know scared people, they lose it. i suggested her getting help and told her i also will get it even though i have stopped doing it more than a yeand and a half. she stopped cuz she was scared but refused to get help or to do anything to get better."

his hands holding yours, he decide to tease you yet again. "i am guessing the real story starts after this." he feels kinda shocked when you nod. "you know she can easily tell the public, i was the bad influence. and i can't even deny it when she does. she is not stable. i am not making her mental health problems the villain but she never has the good intentions, only wants attention of others even if it's negative. she can easily ruin me, my career. not just me but also the other members. even one can argue that i deserved it and had it coming, you can't tell the same thing about the other girls. they did nothing wrong."

"she was scared that police will find her and she will be put in jail. i told her it has been months. they don't have an evidence even, they can't but instead of listening to me, she found other people's stories online that was not even similar to hers. i kept telling her stop looking at those news or fake stories, she only hurts herself. then i decided to pay an actor for a small role. she was my friend and she accepted it. so i told nincompoop that i had a friend that went through the same thing and her stiation was in a small city, a white lie in my opinion. my friend did everything i asked her to. i know this is way fucked up but i really had the best interest of her. i mean maybe not cause i was getting tired of her clinging on me and constant whining. i wanted to help, really, but she was just... i know she has problems. i am an awful person for instead of understanding her problems, i hate her for them. it is just too much sometimes." you are surprised that he just listened without interrupting even once. you two stay slient for a few minutes before he gathers his thoughts and speaks. "you are not awful. from what i see you tried to help but she started to see you as her therapist. am i right?" you nod then shake your head. honestly you aren't sure what happened between you two. it all feels like a fewer dream.

"i mean maybe you are right or maybe i am not as understanding as i thought i was." he clears his throat. "i think you do way above bare minimum. i really don't trust this girl. wasn't she lying about her mom abusing her, just because her disabled sister got attention while she did not?" you try to defend her. "all people seek attention, gyu. yes her lying was not good but no one got hurt, right? we all are desperate for attention because we all are social creatures so why is she the bad guy?" beomgyu sighs in disbelief. "why are you defending her? no one getting hurt and attention seeking being in human nature doesn't make what she did less wrong but also didn't she hurt you? is that also in human nature?" you get upset with the way he raised his voice at you. seeing your reaction, beomgyu spoke. "i am sorry for raising my voice. it is just you are so naive and i don't like seeing getting hurt, okay? now continue please."

"before i continue, i really need to ask you something. am i a real life bojack horseman for hiring an actor-friend to get what i want." he bursts into laughs when he hears your question. but when he realizes that you aren't joking, he simply says. "no. no, you are not." you giggle and then put your head on his chest.

"gyu, maybe my brain plays games with me but after that she got even worse as if she knew what was i up to. she kept sending me messages of how she was so afraid that police will arrest her and the stories from the internet she read became the only thing she talked about. i said something. it was not a big deal or maybe it was but i said that her trusting her paranoia and the random people on the internet more than me made me hurt and i got offended. i said that just trust me and my friend that went through the same thing. i called some lawyer friends and they said she was totally safe. i wasn't making anything up. i even called a police relative and asked if she is safe and he said yes as long as there is no evidence. and since there is no evidence she was safe. but instead of listening to reason she said and i quote 'i am saying that i am going to k1ll myself and you are making this about you. you are so selfish.' that was never my intention nor the thing i said. but her saying that made me feel selfish. i really don't have any moral compass but if i had one being selfish would be the equivalent of being bad so i felt awful, like i am the worst person ever. i was the one who abused my prescriptions pills which caused her to become a drug addict. i blamed myself but then she confessed that she even took part in drug dealing. i cannot be responsible for that, right? because i never did anything like that even the thing i did i warned her again and again and again. i kept offering professional help even before and after her getting caught. i did my best but she made me feel bad about myself and kept saying 'don't leave me. if you leave, i will end it.' she wanted my constant attention and i am just too tired, gyu." you speak this time without letting him respond until you finished.

he pushes your head up so that he can look into your eyes. "let's just softly ghost her or make her stop talking to you herself. she can't tell anyone you misusing your pills without revealing her substance abuse." you give him a confused look. "how am i supposed to ghost her or never talk to her. we live together, we are in the same band. how will it even work?" beomgyu doesn't respond but instead makes you sit while he keeps his back placed on your bed. though you don't quite get the reasoning behind this, you still want him to play with you as he promised.

he looks ethereal, you think to yourself. how can someone be this beautiful? that moment pushes you to show beomgyu how you worship him. you start with giving him the most passionate kiss he ever had. yor lips longing for his lips for years couldn't care less whose these lips supposed to kiss. you pity the girl yet you do not leave his lips even for a second like a hungry animal.

your kiss trails his whole body. giving every single corner attention they need and complimenting them throughout the way. your soft hands holding his as if they are afraid of losing it again. you don't care about beomgyu's stupid words about people outgrowing each other thing when he dumped you. you two are meant to be yet this thought originally belonged to beomgyu. in his own way, he did this to protect you but clearly he was wrong. what a mess you became after him. it is impossible to not pity you. he doesn't pity you though, he just wants to end your pain while as a giveaway he also gets what he wants.

you proudly look the evidence of kisses you gave filled with desire and little hickeys you covered his stomach with. you trace his bottom half when he stops you. with an easy move he flips you over pressing your body to mattress. his hands holding your arms around your head as if you would escape him if he leaves them. "small little thing~ look how you basically dissappear under me, so cute but it makes me wanna ruin you more, baby. will you let me?" beomgyu's words practically having an incantation effect, you scream your affirmation to him.

his lips immediately attacking yours for a fight for dominance which he obviously is going to win. the taste of his cum being felt by him when you invite his tongue to your mouth. giving him sounds of pleasure and him dueting you sounds, you both feel like you are in heaven.

"such a pretty doll for me to devour~ i bet you would make a great free use fucktoy or a pretty obedient housewife. gosh maybe i should make you one of those." beomgyu says while his right hand trailing down towards your aching pussy. he positions his right hand still taking control over yours.

his two digits playing with your hole with 'come here' and scizoring motions to get you ready, he adds the third one to the party causing a gasp from you. once he feels like you are ready enough to take him, he immediately thrusts into you. he doesn't wait for you to adjust his size. it of course causes some pain following your tears to fall. him only getting more aroused with your tears, his thrusting fastens and gets harder which you don't complain. too lost in the pleasure even with the pain.

it doesn't take you to cum around his dick since beomgyu still remembers your sweet spots to push his member towards to yet it doesn't stop his abuse. his hands moving towards your neck. he gives to much pressure causing you to fight for your breath. "i am not finished, better take it." he says while your body getting close to second orgasm. "cum for me again with me! show me how much you've missed me!" he orders just before you two cum together. his hands leaving your neck to your waist. with an easy move beomgyu manhandles you again on your all fours.

his cock never stopping being hard, he continues his abuse on your poor cunt. overstimulating it making you cockdrunk. beomgyu pulls your hair causing you to moan even louder. he places his other hand on your ass to have a better grip on himself. at this point the only thing you can say is his name while he fucks his cum back into you. enjoying how dumb you got around him, his thrusts fastens. "such a dumb slut. all mine. all mine. all mine. all mine. mine to touch. mine to breed. ugh you can't even respond. you love my cock that much? you can't think of anything but me~" you only being able to understand a little fraction of what he said, you feel the familiar pain building up on your stomach again when he says he is close. you cum around his cock for the third time just before he fills you up again.

he throws himself to your side and brings your back to his chest, spooning you. playing with your hair and giving you compliments not only about the sex you guys had but also your beauty and how angelic you are. he brings you water and makes sure you use the bathroom. he washes your body again. he orders you food you both like. he opens your comfort movie when food arrives. enjoying both the meal and the movie. you two take a nap and when you wake up, seeing him right beside you makes you feel like you are in heaven.

"we should finish our talk." he says leaving you confused. not waiting for a response from you, he says "would you give up everything for me? be my housewife. don't worry i will take care of you and our children." you only get more confused with his words but you nod. what did these have to do with the stiation? he continued. "you will not take the next day pills and you will have my baby. i will marry you. we could be a family and you get your happy ending away from her. since we can't expose her, we can get you away from her." you respond with a "that's dumb but it could also ruin your career. i don't want that. you deserve all the good things, gyu." but he is determined to get what he wants. "then when you get pregnant, we can marry in secret and the company will retire you due to a 'health related complication' i know these all sound dumb but i want you to be mine and mine only. give up everything, run away from your problems even if that's dumb, be with me, start a family with me." you know it all lacks logic but you agree. at the end of the day what would make you two happy is the logical desicion, right?

he smiles when he gets what he wants. he should have found a way to make it sooner but an opportunity came when his lovesick mind was about to go crazy. was he wrong when taking it? beomgyu is never wrong when it comes to you. ready to accept every part of beomgyu.

disclaimer: this work is of course not written with the intention to show real beomgyu, it is just fanfiction. english is not my first language although i can say i am pretty advanced this work contains ambiguity and incomprehensibility. addition to that some tense clashes. also i know drug is big taboo in korea and also i am not trying to make addicts look bad. if it looked like this, i can edit the story to make it less problematic. i hope you guys don't find it dumb. i originally planned the same conflict with shoplifting or gambling but they sounded cringe...

please do not copy or repost or translate my work. i will put this warning just in case. it is stealing in literal meaning. so please just don't.

i hope you guys enjoyed it~

it is my first full-length fanfic so writing might not be that good so i am apologizing for that. also changed the more darker tone this fic originally had cuz it was all edge no point. but i would really like feedbacks. and i appreciate every single reblog. have a good day! love you all!

taglist: @bomudreamgrl

special thanks to: @/kaespas (cuz if not for her i would have delete most of this fic)

[hyunnieshannie]

Isn't it Lovely?

🖤: Hyunjin x Reader | Han Jisung x Reader 🖊️: approx 6.3K 🚨: Hanahaki AU, there is so much trauma and Angst. Major character death. No hopeful ending. Angst- No Comfort. A/N: I am so sorry... Hyune I'm so sorry.. Jisung... I am so sorry.. Reader... I am so sorry...

Play this while you read? | Mood Board | ART

It was starting to get even harder to breathe. Hidden away in your apartment you forced yourself to finish the letters you started. You thought keeping it away from everyone was the best choice but as you sit in the darkness of your room you wish you had told someone. Anyone. You didn’t want to do this alone anymore. The more you wrote the more you cried, the more you wished you had just told one person- so one person would be there with you. 

You knew you couldn't tell anyone. You knew exactly what they had done had they known from the beginning. They’d have dragged you straight to a hospital and forcibly removed what slowly, and not so silently killed you. Your phone buzzed beside you and slowly you checked your messages. Jisung. You smile lightly at your phone. Tomorrow, you’d give him the box of letters. He’ll give out each letter. He’ll understand, right?

You sign the card meant for the top of the box addressed to Jisung,

Ji, 

Take this box and keep it safe. Please don’t open it, don’t look inside not until next week okay? Don’t ask me questions, just trust me okay? Next week open it, and give everything to the people they’re addressed to. Please. 

Thank you Ji, for always being there for me.

One more week. One more and everyone will know. Avoiding letting anyone know was always the best option. You know Jisung would have ripped you right out of the apartment and brought you to a doctor but you couldn’t live like that- having the flowers delicately taken out of you while they knowingly ripped out the feeling of love altogether. It would be no way to live- without the memory or feeling of ever being in love again. You couldn’t handle that- living as a shell of who you once were. 

One more week and you wouldn’t be on this earth anymore and everyone around you would be moving on with their lives. They’d have received the letters you had written them- maybe even shed a tear but eventually, they would come to forget you. Changbin would still be happy with Felix, and Seungmin would be attending his lectures and still trying to charm the girl in this English class. Jeongin would be cuddled up with his new girlfriend struggling to figure out what to do for their month anniversary. Chan would still be babying all of them, Minho would still be attempting to adopt new cats Hyunjin- Hyunjin would still be with the girl he had met in his art lecture. He would be happy, and in love as he always dreamed of. No one appreciated love the way he did, the way he saw love in such a beautiful way. The way you knew he would treat her with absolute respect and adoration, she would never need to fear losing him. He wasn’t that kind of guy. Life would simply, go on. 

Jisung would be the only one who would probably be more hurt than the rest. Being your best friend for so long. He had grown up with you, he had always been there for you. He was there when you found out you had the gene, the stupid goddamn gene that landed you where you were now. Cursed by your genetics, and betrayed by your heart- Hanahaki had taken over. Jisung always warned you to be careful who you’d fall in love with, he always told you to keep your heart closed off unless you knew for sure they could love you back- you did for the most part. You had your walls up until you met Hwang Hyunjin. 

Hwang Hyunjin destroyed the walls you had built to shield your very delicate heart. Hwang Hyunjin was the definition of a dream. Sweet, caring, attentive and the way he viewed the world was so beautiful. Anyone would have fallen for him, everyone did. Not only did he have such a gorgeous personality but he was also so incredibly handsome. Delicate features, and a toned body. He was ethereal, to say the least, a deadly combination of looks and sincerity. How could anyone not have fallen for someone who could easily be mistaken for an angel? 

You had first met Hyunjin through Jisung. They had met in college. The music major and the artist. They hadn’t always gotten along but once they realised they had a lot more in common than they had originally thought they became inseparable. The day you met Hyunjin was on his twenty-first birthday. It was cold out, the leftover freezing rain from the winter being poured out upon the earth as he and Jisung ran into your apartment soaked and shaking. You had quickly run to Jisung failing to properly notice the other standing beside him, taking his hands in your own as you tried to warm up the shivering boy. 

“Jisung you’re soaked! Oh my god get in the shower before you catch a cold I’ll dry your clothes!” You worried, 

“Y/N..” Jisung smiled, his teeth still chattering from the cold. “Y/N This is Hyunjin, he’s-” he lets out a soft sneeze, 

“Yes yes the artist Jisung I know- now get in the shower and warm up!” you look to the other boy, Tall, with long dark -wet hair that stuck to his face. His body trembling, “And you!” you say, “You’re next. For now in front of the heater!” you pointed to the small space heater you had set up in the living room where you were originally sitting- reading. Jisung hurries himself to the washroom, and Hyunjin sits quietly on the spot on the floor in front of the heater- his hands up in front of it as he attempts to keep them warm. “You’re shaking” you sigh as you drape your duvet over him. 

“T-thanks,” he says softly, “You know, spring shouldn’t be this cold.” 

“Well you two shouldn’t be running around in the rain, what were you thinking?” You said at you patter him down- 

“Han said we’d have more fun here, apparently Birthdays should be spent with friends and not at home watching dramas” Your eyes widen at the confession, 

“Happy birthday.” You smile, 

“Thank you-” 

“Now, this is going to sound weird but I really don't want you getting sick especially not on your birthday- undress in the bedroom and keep that blanket on you until your turn, I’ll get a head start on drying your clothes.” Hyunjin sits up watching you as you speak. He nods getting up slowly from his spot on the floor and heads into your bedroom. A few minutes later he emerges cocooned in your duvet clutching his clothes. He hands them to you and follows you to the laundry room- you throw them into the wash alongside Jisung's and run them on a light cycle. You were sure Jisung had left clothes somewhere in the guest room the question was where. With Hyunjin trailing you like a lost puppy you wandered into the spare bedroom and riffled through the closet. Surely he had something. You spot the blue gym bag buried deep in the back of the closet, with a light tug you drag it out of its spot and peek inside. Gym shorts, a tank top and a pair of sweats. 

“Well it’s not much, and you’re definitely taller than Ji but it’ll have to do until your clothes are clean and dry.” You hand him the bag, he fishes out the sweats and bows politely. 

“Thanks, honestly Your blankets are soft and all but uh- It’s weird being under someone's blankets naked and it wasn’t even for a good reason.” He laughs, and your brain freezes at the realization of what he’s saying. Your cheeks heat up at the image of Hyunjin under the blanket- naked for a ‘good reason’ No, no no- don’t think of that. 

“Uh, not to interrupt whatever the fuck is going on here but-” Jisung clears his throat at the door, his lower body wrapped in his designated towel, “Mind tossing the bag?” Hyunjin laughs as he holds the blanket closed with one hand and tosses the gym bag towards Jisung who almost manages to drop it as it falls into his hands, 

“I’ll uh-” you mutter, “Grab you a towel.” 

The rest of yours and Jisung's friends arrive an hour after the whole ordeal alongside a few others you didn’t quite fully know. Jisung sat happily in his shorts and tank while Hyunjin sat in front of the heater in Jisung's sweats. 

“Classy Hyune,” a boy you had seen on campus but never spoke to, “Meet a girl and suddenly you’re shirtless.” He smiles as he walks in behind Chan, 

“Y/N!” Chan smiles, “Taking care of the children I see” 

“Honestly as a single mother of three, you should really be helping out here more Chris.” You laugh, 

“Please I’m the one that takes care of Changbin and Felix. Your only responsibility is that one” Chan giggles as he points to Jisung. 

“Mom- Dad stop fighting” Felix chimes in, Hyunjin still sat quietly as he watched you interact with your friends. Jeongin swiftly takes his hoodie off and throws it at Hyunjin’s face. 

“Put a shirt on you heathen, we’re in the presence of a nice girl who’s helped you not get sick and you thank her by traumatizing her with your bare chest?” the same boy who has mentioned Hyunjin’s outfit- or lack thereof scoffs, “Apologies, he has no manners, I’m Yang Jeongin, unfortunately, i’m friends with the birthday boy so I will be taking responsibility for him” you smile at the boy, he seems sweet. Hyujin throws the sweater on, still carefully watching as everyone talks around him. 

“Please. Nice girl? Y/N spends half her time pants-less and the other half shirtless. If you think Hyune’s chest is traumatizing wait till you see her-” You give Seungmin a punch before he finishes his sentence, “SEE WHAT I MEAN? ANYTHING BUT NICE.” 

After that day the nine of you began to spend more time together. Hyunjin was often quiet, he enjoyed sitting back and observing the conversation. He’d speak up occasionally but most of the time it felt like he was studying everyone. Jisung had mentioned it for a long time Hyunjin just kept to himself. That was until he had started hanging around Jisung. Hyunjin had introduced him to Jeongin and from there the three of them had begun a small friendship. He mentioned how Hyunjin wasn’t usually this quiet around his friends and that maybe, he just needed to get used to the group. 

The more you spent time with the group including Hyunjin and Jeongin the more you got to know them (naturally as one would). You learned of Hyunjin’s love of art- and dance. You learned his favourite colours, foods, and seasons and that his favourite flower was the rose. You learned how he spoke softly around the group but when he spoke to you he was more- himself. He seemed to prefer one-on-one conversations to those with a group. He enjoyed watching everyone yell over each other but never wanted to speak over anyone. Oftentimes times the two of you would spend your time just talking to each other while the others yelled over one another. 

You got too close to him, too fast. You just didn’t know that at the time. 

He asked about your interests and your dreams, and he listened and responded thoughtfully to questions you’d ask. He’d bring you coffee and ask you to keep him company. You fell fast for him but you were only ever a good friend to him. 

“There’s this girl in my class.” Hyunjin sighs, “She’s sweet, cute. Her art is just, wow. She’s so talented, and I- god I feel so stupid Y/N” Your heart drops into your stomach. You lost him, yet he was never yours to lose. He’d always be your friend though right? So why does it feel like your heart just shattered? 

“You’re not stupid Jinnie, you admire her- so talk to her.” You smile as you bring the warm cup of coffee you’d been neglecting as you watched Hyunjn paint. 

“Should I?” He asks genuinely, and you nod. 

“Of course Jinnie,” 

The first date went well. Hyunjin came back to you and Jisung absolutely elated. He told the two of you how they had talked all night about art, their interests, and what they wanted to do in the future. He told you two how she had agreed to a second date and he how he hasn’t felt this excited about a girl in a while. He had unintentionally planted the seeds of your demise that night. Neither of you knew yet. 

By the third date, he had decided to officially ask her out. She said yes. She’d have been stupid to say no. That was the first time you felt the pain in your chest. You choked in attempts to take a breath, only to land yourself in a coughing fit- something stuck in your throat and you desperately forced the cough to rid yourself of it. You knew, yet what hurt the most was to see it fully. To fully let it sink in as you stared down at the rose petal covered in spit and blood laying on the palm of your hand. You cried for the first time over Hyunjin that night. 

Your group of nine had become a group of ten within a few weeks. Hyunjin brought his new girlfriend around quite often. He didn’t sit as close to you anymore, and when the group began to talk over each other he wouldn’t lean in to talk to you about how stupid they were all being. Instead, he whispered into her ear about- you wouldn’t know what. You watched, silently as your heart broke more. You could feel the sting in your chest, not only from the aching of heartbreak but the thorns puncturing your lungs as the roses grew. You excused yourself from the group, quietly heading to the furthest washroom in Chan's house. Heaving as you desperately tried to breathe, coughing up more of those delicate red rose petals. You didn’t think it would happen this fast. 

What neither you, nor Hyunjin noticed was the way Jisung watched you. Watched as the light in your eyes died out watching them- watched as you held back tears. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to accept it. Maybe the disease hadn’t come? Yes you had the genes for it- but maybe just maybe he was so lucky that you were unaffected by it. You’d have told him if something happened. You’d have told him if you were coughing up petals. You were his best friend and he was yours. He trusted you more than anything to tell him. You would- You would tell him. 

Jisung coughed that night. A small, purplish-blue petal forced it’s way up his throat. He stared down at it in horror. You didn’t love him as he did you. 

Almost a month later, Hyunjin had come to you asking for a woman's opinion on what to get his girlfriend for their month anniversary. You smiled through it, and the two of you went shopping- sometimes you thought you could pretend this wasn’t happening. That it wasn’t this god-awful disease of unrequited love attacking you. Sometimes you’d pretend you just caught a bad cold, and that Hyunjin was still your Jinnie, your close friend. Someone you’d love as a friend forever, but- reality was never so kind. He’d mention something she’d done that made him happy, or he’d see something she may like and ask you for advice and you’d feel the thorns, the threat of the roots squeezing your lungs until they could no longer garner any oxygen. Excusing yourself to the nearest washroom and barely making it inside before you coughed up more of the rose petals, you found that as the condition worsened, the blood that was once just specks and spots came out in larger quantities as time went on. 

 You’ve begun to hate roses. 

“Oh sweetheart-” an elderly woman whispered as she watched you whimper over the sink, she wiped away the blood from your mouth with a paper towel. “You should have those removed my dear.” You nodded and walked away quietly as she stood and watched you. Pitying you. You made your way back to Hyunjin who stood waiting near the benches just before the washrooms, the elderly woman behind you following along, “Deary-” she called out, but stopped as she eyed down Hyunjin. “That cough is quite heavy, I’d suggest heading home alone- lest the boy catch anything.” She smiles softly. She knows. She extended her hand offering a mask, “Rid yourself of that cough dear, it’ll be best.” was the last thing she said before walking away. 

“A-are you sick? What cough? Y/N Should you be resting!? You could have told me!” Hyunjin panics, as he quickly brings a hand to your face to check your temperature “You don’t feel warm, common Let's get you some tea and then home-” He says grabbing your wrist and gently tugging you along. 

“I’m fine Hyunjin honestly.” you sigh. 

You hid yourself away for a week after that day. Hyunjin and Jisung regularly came to check up on you to make sure you were recovering from your cold well. You lied. Saying you were fine and healthy again, and they both believed you. 

Once more you found yourself with the other nine in Chan’s house. Everyone sat around playing cards. Drinking, overall having a good time. You tried hard never to laugh too hard- god forbid you coughed up a flower in front of everyone. When everyone got bored- the group moved from inside to Chan's backyard. Quickly he started up a fire for the night, you watched as the flames rose and danced around the air before dissipating into the night. 

“You guys are gross!” Jeongin yells as he runs out of Chan's house, “Someone tell Hyunjin to be less gross.” he complains, the group laughs. 

“What did he do now?” You smile- only to regret the question immediately. 

“He’s so fucking mushy, can you do all your I love you’s in private and not with the group- like god not everyone wants to see your pda and shit” Jeonging yells, Hyunjin slowly making his way outside with his girlfriend's hand in his- laughing. 

“Please Innie, you’ll understand when you’re in love.” He smiles. Thank god for the summer weather- a small gust of wind pushes the smoke from the fire into your face and your coughs are easily excused as getting a lung full of smoke. You excuse yourself to hide away and spit out the soggy petals into the toilet. Cleaning your mouth out and quickly swish mouth wash around in it to avoid the iron scent of blood within it. You slowly make your way outside where everyone was still chatting away.

“You guys hear about Yeonjun?” Seungmin sighs, 

“Terrible isn’t it?” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says softly, “Hanahaki. Rare but devastating. I heard he’s having the flowers removed.” 

“That’s better than suffering.” Chan sighs, “I mean- what would you guys do if you had the gene and then- you know-” 

“I’d have them removed.” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says, “I’d rather lose the memory of the person than to die by suffocation.” you wince at the thought and let out a small cough, and the attention turns to you.

“Sorry, it’s like when you talk about lice and you can’t help but itch-” you mutter, “Talking about Hanaki is particularly uncomfortable for Jisung and I-” you sigh, as the others look to Jisung. 

“Yeah uh- we both, have the gene- but there's no guarantee it will happen you know?” he smiles up at you, “I mean neither of us has started coughing up petals and we’ve been in relationships before ya know?” 

“Isn’t it like a love thing though, not just a puppy love but like- oh god this is so mushy but like true love?” Minho asks, 

“There is no real science behind it-” you say, “You never know who will trigger it- it just happens.” 

“What would you two do if it happened, if I may ask-” Felix mutters, 

“I wouldn’t remove them.” You sigh, the silence that follows is deafening, the only sound is that of that fire and the slight rustling of the leaves in the summer wind. 

“W-why not” Hyunjin stutters, “You’d rather die in love with someone who doesn’t love you back than to live a long life and possibly find someone else?” Hyunjin didn’t mean to sound like he was judging- but it hit hard, it still hurt, 

“The thing about removing it Hyune, is that removal affects everyone differently. Some- lose memories of the person they once loved. Everything about them just- poof, gone. Others- they uh-” Jisung tries, 

“They’ll never be able to feel love at all ever again.” You finish. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin mutters, “Well if either of you ever falls in love with someone that triggers it- tell us. Okay?” 

“I wouldn’t keep it from you guys- I’m sure we're fine!” Jisung smiles. What no one knew was that Jisung was suffering. Hiding away just as you were. Neither of you went to the other to tell them what was going on because Jisung would rather suffer than have you pity him for loving you all this time. You had fallen in love and he saw it, and you had survived- unaffected by your cursed genetics. So he would spare you the details, he wouldn’t allow you to witness him- wilting away as he desperately held on to you. Your last memories of him would not be of him coughing up flowers. God forbid you ever found out. He would not allow it. 

You could barely move, barely breathe. Your lungs hurt to take in air, the coughing never stopped yet still you pushed- and pushed. You tried so hard to be normal around your friends, but soon enough you couldn’t push anymore. You hid yourself away. Claiming to be busy with work- You ignored calls, and didn’t open the door when people came looking for you. The coughing was so bad and the blood loss made you feel dizzy. Your time was coming. You clicked your phone on and sent a quick message to your friends.

STRAYS

Y/N: Movie night, my place friday @ 6 please I’ve been so shit without y’all 

Minho: SHE LIVES! Bet! See you there! 

Felix: Im down! 

You ignored the rest of the incoming texts. You had a mission, two days to complete it and it required all of your strength. You got up from your bed, dragging your bucket of petals alongside you as you planted yourself in the living room and began to write. 

To: Chris. 

To:  Minho.

To: Changbin. 

To: Felix

To: Seungmin

To: Jeongin

To: Jisung

To: Hyunjin

To: Mom & Dad

The last three of your letters being the most important. You needed to take your time with those three.

Jisung had decided to head over early. He was coughing still but not too badly, he felt fine enough to go hang out with you for a bit and help you set up. You had been working so much he was glad to finally see you- he just wanted to be the first one to see you. He made his way up to your door- opting to knock first before letting himself in, but when you didn’t answer he made use of his key and made his way inside. The apartment was quiet and dark. Perhaps you weren’t home yet. He made his way into the living room and sat himself on the couch, taking out his phone to call you. The confusion hit more when he heard your phone buzzing, but there was no effort from you to answer the call. 

“Y/N?” Jisung called out, but you didn’t answer. He made his way to your bedroom, knocking on the door softly. Still, nothing. He pushed the door open and immediately his legs gave out. Eyes watering, the cough returning in full force. The screams Jisung let out were heartbreaking. And thats how everyone else found him. Screaming, crying, and coughing up bloodied flower petals. Chan rushed to him instantly, picking him up off the floor in front of your room, 

“Han!” Chan called out to him, “Han talk to me what happened?” only then did Chan look up, and see what Jisung was sobbing over. “Felix.” Chan held back his tears as much as he could as he looked to Jisung, “Felix come here and shut the fucking door to her room, shut it- shut it now!” He yelled out, as Felix rushed to the door, Hyunjin let go of his girlfriends hand, making his way slowly to your door but Jisung looked up and glared. 

“Get out.” He spat, “Get out!” 

“H-Han” Hyunjin said in confusion, 

“GET OUT HYUNJIN GET THE FUCK OUT YOU DON’T GET TO SEE HER, YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING SEE HER” He screamed, attempting to lunge at Hyunjin, “IT’S YOUR FAULT- IT’S YOUR FAULT SHE’S DEAD- IT’S YOUR FAULT!” Jisung was yelling on pure adrenaline, his mind wasn’t processing the words he was saying to his best friend. He needed someone to blame, and Hyunjin just seemed like the best answer. 

“FELIX! CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR” Minho yelled out, 

“Dead..” Hyunjin looks into your room just as Felix closes the door, the only glimpse of you he got was your hand hanging off the bed. Jisung’s screams were interrupted by more coughing, petals spilling out of his mouth as he clutched his chest, heaving. It took a moment to process but it clicked. You were gone. and Jisung was dying. 

“Uh, guys. We uh- we can’t leave her like that.” Seungmin sighs, as tears slowly stream down his face. “I’m going to go call the cops.” 

You never got to put the card explaining to Jisung to wait a week before giving out the letters. It lay in your room while the box lay collecting dust in the living room. Where everyone sat waiting for the authorities to arrive. Minho was ultimately the one to hand out the letters to everyone sitting around. 

No one read them until they had gone home. 

The funeral was nice. Jisung thought there was a terrible irony in the flower arrangement that decorated your casket. To die by roses, only to be buried with them in the end. You’d have hated it. The group hadn’t really seen each other since that day. Some of them had tried checking up on Jisung having learned of his condition but he simply ignored them. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them he’d be meeting the same fate because everyone had the same questions. ‘Who is it Jisung? Maybe if we tell them.’ No one noticed how Jisung loved you. 

He stood alongside your family, as guests came and went paying their respects to your family, him as your lifelong best friend included. Chan came up first, said a few words to everyone before he disappeared back into the crowd. Seungmin and Jeonging were next. Minho and Changbin followed after. When Jisung had spotted Hyunjin making his way up slowly to your family he half expected his girlfriend to be following along, but she made no appearance. You never did give his name to your family. You didn’t want them to blame him. 

Jisung wanted to blame him, but he knew he couldn’t. Hyunjin just didn’t know. It wasn’t a lack of caring, it was the complete lack of knowledge and Jisung couldn’t blame him for that. 

“My name is Hwang Hyunjin,” he said softly, “I’m-” he choked on his words, “I did it to her-” he sobbed, bringing his hands up to cover his face as he hid in shame from your family, “I didn’t know- I swear- If I had-” your mother places a hand on his shoulder, in attempt to comfort him, 

“It wasn’t your fault,” was all she could say as Hyunjin sobbed. Jisung excuses himself from your family, motioning for Hyunjin to follow him. The two of them find an empty hallway to talk in. 

“Jisung?” Hyunjin sniffles, as he tries to wipe away his tears that seemingly won’t stop. 

“I watched her fall in love with you Hyunjin. I watched her love you with everything she had in her.” Jisung coughs, it hurts to cough up the tiny followers you loved so much. Would he be the next to go? Probably. Hyunjin’s eyes grow wide as he watches the dainty petals fall from Jisung’s lips. Tiny blue and purple petals- covered in spit and blood.

Jisung was tired. He was so tired.  

“You know she hid it from us all? She died alone Hyune,” He takes a deep breath in, Hyunjin could see the way Jisung struggles to breathe- two people. Two people in his life with the same disease, how could he have been so blind to it? 

“I-” Hyunjin stutters, it was his fault. It was all his fault. “I didn’t know- If I had known Jisung- I could have-”  

“That’s not how love works Hyunjin and you know it. She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to pity her, she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to force yourself to love her because she was dying.” Jisung lets out another loud cough. “I’m sorry you know?” 

“Sorry?” Hyunjin mutters, “For what? I should be the one apologizing.” 

“For saying it was your fault she died-” Jisung sighs, “It wasn’t, I should have noticed but it wasn’t your fault. She hid it for a reason.” 

“You know, the worst part is- I can’t win in this situation,” Hyunjin sighs as he leans against the wall, sinking down to the ground. “If I had known she liked me, I’d have asked her out-” Jisung looks to him confused, “I always thought she just saw me as a friend- as someone she was close to- never- as someone she could love like that.” Jisung watches as Hyunjin takes out a crumpled piece of paper out of his coat pocket, “Didn’t know till she wrote it all out and she was gone. Should have seen Jisu’s reaction when she found out.” 

“How is she by the way?” Jisung asks, 

“Wouldn’t know, we broke up. Couldn’t be with her after I killed someone- She couldn’t handle knowing her friend died because of me either. She liked Y/N a lot. They weren’t that close but she liked her.” Hyunjin shakily hands over the piece of paper to Jisung. 

Hyunjin, 

Where do I even start? I guess, I start with I’m sorry. Probably should have told everyone sooner. I hope you’re not blaming yourself. If you are- please don’t. Please, please don’t. It’s not your fault. You know, since they told me I had the gene, I was warned. Warned to keep my heart guarded, warned to keep myself safe, not to love just anyone. I don’t regret it you know? I don’t at all. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t expect you to tear down those walls I had so quickly, but still, I don’t regret letting you in. 

I guess you probably have a lot of questions huh? 

Firstly yes, your shirtlessness when we first met did traumatise me :) kidding. But seriously. I’m sure you have so many questions that I wish I could just answer for you but- they’re a bit complicated.  So ill answer the ones I can think of right now, 

Does it hurt? Unfortunately. These kinds of flowers are, beautiful. Truly a symbol of love, but also dangerous and-, I can feel them in my lungs. It does hurt but it's bearable. 

How long? I think the first time I coughed up a petal was when you first asked out Jisu. How long had I been into you? Well, I’m not sure, to be honest. I think I took a liking to you after we had met, but I definitely knew when we would spend days together in your studio and I’d watch you get lost in your canvass. (I hope you’re still painting, by the way, you’re so talented. Don’t ever stop please.) 

Am I scared? Terribly. I wish I told one of you sooner so I don’t have to do this alone- Jinnie I’m terrified.

Why didn’t I tell you? For a lot of reasons but honestly, because you looked so happy with Jisu! Gosh, I hope you two are okay right now- selfish of me to be confessing to you over a letter after I straight up died, but honestly, wholeheartedly I hope the two of you are happy! You deserve to love and be loved. I’ve never met anyone who sees so much beauty in falling in love- who thinks of it in such a fairytale way. You deserve to be happy, so I guess that’s why I didn’t say anything. She loves you, and you her. And knowing that you’re happy makes it easier for me to leave. 

Jisung pushes the paper back to Hyunjin, he can’t read anymore. 

“You know, she ended it with ‘I love you Jinnie, live happily for me, and love strongly for me’ and I couldn’t even do that for her,” Hyunjin says softly, Jisung could tell he was breaking inside. Jisung could also tell he’d read through that letter like his life depended on it, like it would keep him grounded. 

“You have time to live happily Hyune- to love for her. You still have time,” Jisung says, 

“What about you-” Hyunjin could feel the tears threatening to breach again, he couldn’t lose another person. Maybe he could help Jisung, maybe he could do something- anything to save him. 

“They can’t love me back.” He sighs, “It’s fine.” 

“Who is it?” Hyunjin asks, “Maybe we could talk to them or something. We both saw how not saying anything ends, maybe if we just get you to talk to-”

“I can’t Hyunjin,” Jisung says somewhat aggressively, “She can never love me back, it was too late even before-”

“No- Maybe they can! Maybe we can-” Hyunjin panics as he cuts off Jisung, he can’t lose his best friend, he can’t. “We- we can-” 

“HYUNJIN SHES DEAD. SHE CAN’T.” Jisung shouts, and it clicks for Hyunjin, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled, you’re scared and hurting. I know you just want to help but-” Jisung choked as he coughed, “There’s no helping this one and I think what hurts the most Hyune- is that loving you killed her faster than loving her is killing me," Jisung sighs, 

"What do you mean?" 

"I found her in full bloom. She had a rose bush growing inside her, thorns and all" Jisung sighs, “Roses out of her mouth, and chest- You know people romanticize it like it’s some beautiful display, but no one seems to remember how much blood comes with your chest bursting with flowers.” Jisung shutters. 

"R-roses.." Hyunjin stutters

"Yeah- fuck I shouldn’t have said that- sorry." 

"No- I just- wish I knew sooner." Hyunjin is about to burst, with more tears. He knows what Jisung is saying isn’t to place blame on him, but to help him understand what he was going through- what you went through, he also knew Jisung didn’t always know how to explain his feelings fully- but it didn’t make it hurt any less, it didn’t make him blame himself any less either  "What about you then-"

"Forget me not’s. small, but invasive. they spread fast - definitely not as painful as a rose but- still they hurt.  I’ll have them removed soon.” Jisung sighs, 

“You’re gonna do the surgery?” Hyunjin looks to Jisung, like he has some sort of hope in his eyes, and it kills Jisung inside, but he simply nods. 

It was getting harder to breathe as he stared down at the contract. Jisung knew this would be it. Removing them would only lead to him forgetting you. Forgetting how he loved you. Forgetting your smile, your laugh. How when you were happy you’d scrunch your nose. Or when you were upset or sad or had too much on your mind your leg would bounce subtly. 

Would Hyunjin had noticed all of these things? 

God. Jisung thought to himself. He should have just told you. 

He stared down at the contract once more, A violent coughing fit threatened to breach but he knew it wouldn’t ever feel better. The roots were already too far gone, hugging his lungs tight. Every day he could feel the small purple and blue forget-me-nots making their way up his throat threatening to burst out of his chest and mouth in full bloom. 

Slowly he rises from his seat. 

It’s time. 

Jisung never did sign the contract. Opting to go home. Lay down. And hug your sweater and one other thing that reminded him of you. 

“You always said you’d follow me to the ends of the earth” You smiled, a gentle one at him as get let out a breath. “Lets go?” and he did, he followed you to the ends of the earth. 

Hyunjin couldn’t even scream, something blocked out the screams he so desperately wanted to let out. His heart shattered. He could feel the physical pain of it breaking within his chest.

 Hyunjin found Jisung clutching a photo of you and him as kids. On the back, in pen, he had written his last words. 

If I have to let you go, I’d rather be dead.

Tag List: @chanlixiiee @amalieworldidk @jaebaebaegot7 @maeleelee @iadorethemskz @maenijw @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats @jinniespuppy @painstakingly-juno @lethallyprotected @elizalabs3 @jisungsbff01 @seungminslittlepup @lieghscloud @foxinnie8 @scarletbedlam @kpoppin-to-the-beat @stay-berry @bbymatz @kurxxmi

[applesaucesims]

After the ceremony, the party made their way into the old animal shed that had been made up for the wedding to seat all the guests for the reception. As a welcome, tea was served to the adults, accompanied by some freshly baked macarons for all tables.

Despite the sweet treats, the children's table was still overcome with boredom, especially due to the awkwardness of sitting together with the cousin-in-laws they had only just met. It was sort of understood that Louis was going to have an eye over them, due to his age, but he would rather have been anywhere else than look after the grumpy girls and toddler around his table.

While most adults were sat with their family, Judy had decided to stay with her nursing school friends, catching up with whatever drama was going on with any former classmates they were still keeping in touch with.

As teacups were starting to empty, Judy stood up from her chair to uncover the food that was waiting on a buffet table. Preferring a private conversation over one in the bigger group, Niall decided to follow his sister into the small side room, as soon as he noticed the movement in the corner of his eye. Good wishes for her marriage were in order, and this was as good a time is it got.

Niall awkwardly stood behind his sister, as she was uncovering the last of the plates, but she quickly turned to him, once he made his presence known. After all these years, the two were still very close, and Judy happily pulled her brother into a hug to thank him for his well-wishes.

Judy wanted to use the opportunity to catch up, too, and Niall made use of it, as he started rambling on about his life as a father of four and the subsequent worries. Of course, Judy did not mind listening to her brother's woes. She had really been doing it ever since they were children. And most of all, she was always there to give him advice as much as she could, or at least try to cheer him up.

In fact, with her help, a sincere smile of hope started growing on Niall's face. There was always room for improvement, and any step towards it would get him closer to it, too, as Judy made sure to remind him.

[TRANSCRIPT]

Judy: "I've gotta go check on the entrées, girls. Don't dig up gossip without me!"

Niall: "Excuse me, I'll just go give Judy my proper congrats."

...

Niall: *clears throat* "I haven't had the chance, yet, but... Congratulations on your union!"

Judy: "Oh, don't worry about it. I saw your happy tears! Now come and give your sister a hug!"

Niall: *laughs* "Of course, Jude."

Judy: "Enough about me, starting to get tired of that. How are you doing?"

Niall: "Well, I guess things are going better. Bonding with the children comes a lot easier to me now. Though Emma's much closer with them than I am. I just don't see them as often as she does. And I'm not sure I can ever properly repair things with Louis. I wasn't the best father to him, though I try to be."

Judy: "Hey, it's gonna be alright, Ni. Trying is already a big step forward. And you've not taken a look at the champagne, yet, so there's that."

Judy: "You know I'm proud of you, right?"

Niall: "I appreciate it."

[ilovemilfsthings]

──── ✰࿒࿎྇ ༃࿐ ‘meet the character’

, , ,

ೃ࿐ ANGEL TARGARYEN prologue of her life

« laughing on the outside, crying on the inside »

… … … angst ; shit parenting ; i love angel sm

, , ,

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ANGEL was the youngest child of viserys & alicent. for almost all of pregnancy, viserys hoped that it would be another boy, all kings always wish for healthy sons that could eventually replace him after his death and become a good king. but unfortunately, alicent gave birth to a girl. it’s hard to have a good relationship with your father when he didn’t want you from the moment you were in your mother's womb, im right? anyway, the first years of angel’s childhood were okay, the alicent seemed to care about her, and viserys didn’t mind having her by his side almost all the time. but it all dramatically changed when she turned eight. then her father started to expect more and more from her, even the things that no eight-year-old could do, but he wanted all the best for angel, didn’t he?

then she started to grow up, and nothing changed, it only got worse. she cannot remember one day without fighting with them, mostly with her dad. it seems like he finds it entertaining to try angel’s limits, but she never shed a single tear in front of him, she didn’t want to give him satisfaction. the worst part of these days were moments when he acted like nothing happened; he didn’t care about her mental health. let’s be honest, in this world, it doesn’t matter. 

but it wasn’t only viserys who slowly ruined his daughter. maybe alicent wasn’t like her husband, and she never screamed at angel, but she also let him humiliate her youngest daughter in front of everyone. she never checked on her, and when she ran to her chamber, she didn’t do anything. she would just close her eyes and sigh with sadness, but she wouldn’t tell her husband anything. 

angel seems to hate her parents, but deep inside she was still a little girl who wanted her parents to love her, hug her and tell her that everything going to be okay. 

, , ,

✧. ┊so this is kind of sad ‘prologue’ of angel’s history. i wanted to start it like this. you guys can give me ideas with who you wanted me to pair angel with, because i have not idea for this (firstly i thought about aegon, but idk) I would write series and just random imagines with her, and you also can request some ideas to plot etc. i would definitely needed your help. but i hope that you will like this oc (personally i love her, but you can have different opinions) i think that’s it, bye!

[bubbleddisasters]

Been thinking about the Traveler being reminded of Inazumas War during Natlan and an Open Arms Reprise , I saw that sparked an idea about Teppei and Vichamas deaths so i’m about to make it everyone else’s problem.

Spoilers, obviously

————-

With every scrape of blood off the sole of her once gleaming white boots, the sound of every solider and innocent lost being counted in the rest area, she was reminded of flashing lightning.

Of Gorou returning from unsuccessful search and rescues. Of Kokomis deep eye bags, Of….him. He who never got to try on his uniform.

A dash of moonlight reflected on Paimons hair, now drained from all the tears she had shed, wrapped in the blondes scarf.

She had really been with her through everything. The one constant Lumine could always count on.

“Captain?”

The once familiar voice had the outlander turning immediately.

“Teppei?”

Smiling in his Watasumi uniform, the apparition waved happily . As if he had never died. The friendship bracelet made from his first broken dummy still tied neatly as he stood by a crackling blaze.

“Thats me! It’s been awhile, huh? You look pretty tired, you can rest here by my fire, if you want.”

As if in a haze, she moved forward, an in a foolish leap of faith, jumped to hug her fallen friend, silent tears staining his uniform as he returned the embrace.

When she pulled back, the reality came in.

“You’re dead.”

“Yup.”

“Then how..?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, the former soldier looked off to the side.

“Night…uh…Kingdom stuff? I won’t be here for long, but I met this guy in the afterlife, and he mentioned you made it here, so I wanted to check on you! He helped me out.”

“He?”

Another figure fizzled into view. One she had seen only days ago. But this form was mutilated, ripped apart. He couldn’t have….not after..

“Vichama….?”

He didn’t meet her eyes.

“Rifthounds are the worst, aren’t they?”

Prodding the small flame with a stick, the fallen sighed.

“Once this flame goes out, we’ll be gone for good. You can have my stuff if it’s not too destroyed when….if…you get back. I doubt anyone else will want it.”

“The Captain of Swordfish || will definitely make it out! You haven’t seen what she can do! She’s amazing!”

“You’re weirdly positive for someone who died a long and agonizing death, y’know.”

Eyes of gold welled, the onyx haired patting the log next to him.

“You can let it all out while we wait, Captain. The dead tell no tales, right?”

———

And so, Lumine did just that. Told him everything. Sumeru, Fontaine, and what had happened so far in Natlan. Desperately, she didn’t wish for this moment to end. If only she had obtained Pyro from the Statue, she would have made Vichamas Fire burn eternally.

As it began to fade, Teppei rose from his seat, holding out his hand toward her.

“It’s time to keep moving on Captain.”

“…How Teppei?”

Wind was his only response as she took it all in. He was right, and she knew it. As she took his hand, Vichama cut in.

“I….I know you’re probably tired of all this war and bloodshed, but you’ve got the chance to have a life to live. Someone once told me to Keep them in their heart to bring them home.”

“He’s right! And give all the kindness you can, well, if you can.”

Carefully handing Paimon into her arms, the Inazumian smiled weakly.

“Remember how even during the war, our friendship still made us both feel happy and warm? Don’t give up on making friends like me again.”

The Verdette now stood, his ripped canopy outfit getting stuck on a twig for a moment before he was able to respond.

“And I know from..you know..that you probably might feel like we like we blame you for not being able to save us, but we don’t. Atleast I don’t.”

He faded away first, tossing her a dog-tag necklace with a key attached, leaving just Lumine and Teppei, who admired the mountain view, even in the pitch darkness.

“Y’know, life really is amazing. Everyone takes it for granted until they lose it, so…”

Slipping off his identification tag from around his neck, the deceased pressed it into her hand.

“Even after all this, try to greet the world with Open arms, ok? It’s going to be hard, but I think you’re capable of anything, I really do.”

Just like Vichamas, his visage began to fade, ruffling her hair as he disappeared.

“Thanks for everything, Traveler. I couldn’t have asked for a better Captain, or a better friend.”

One final time, he smiled.

“Goodbye, my friend.”

The fire flickered to nothingness as he vanished.

——-

Paimon stirred, yawning as she shifted around in the swaddle Lumine had made with scarf as the outlander began to prepare the hot air balloon.

“Paimon had this dream about Teppei and Vichama, and a huge war in….”

As she floated to oversee the region from above, the cheeriness in her voice all but faded.

“Oh���Guess Paimon wasn’t dreaming about the war then…is…is it really not over?”

“Not yet Paimon. Soon. Open arms.”

“Open arms? Whats that supposed to mean?”

————-

____________

Link to the Open Arms Reprise that gave me this idea!:

Yea thats it.

Enjoy.

[mamas-filly]

The Vet Visit

"So poor thing was just loose on the street?"

"Yeah! She was really friendly so I thought she had to have an owner.

"Well, she doesn't have a chip or a collar, so if you're that fond of her, you can just take her home."

A hand reaches through the bars to pet your head, as you're shivering without the clothes this woman found you in.

"What do you think, girl? Are you coming home with me?"

The person in a white coat across from your captor speaks before you can say anything, the two of them continuing to talk above you

"We'll need to give it the required shots and give her a microchip, of course, plus any other... 'procedures' you might be looking for"

"Oh, I'm not looking to get her spayed right now, but Im glad she's being chipped, I would hate to have her get out and never see her again!"

"Of course, ma'am. If you'll just return to the lobby, we can set up payment and a follow-up appointment."

You finally see her face as she leans down to peer through the bars of the oversized crate you've been in, petting your head again as she coos into your ear

"I know its scary girl, but the Vet's going to take very good care of you okay?"

The cage opens, and you scramble out, starting to try and say something before she's too far, but as you open your mouth you feel a sharp pinch on your hips and the desperate pleas only come out as an enthusiastic "Bark!"

Stunned in surprise, you find yourself easily wrestled down by the strong, confident hands of the vet as they hold you still for the next shot, and the next.

"Good girl... good girl, you just got excited when your owner left, huh?"

Your mind swims in light fluffy emotions, as the doctors hand strokes you, no longer holding you down, though you can't really recall why you were trying to leave in thd first place. The vet calmly looks at your teeth, your breasts, and you even feel a cold glove drift and assess your loins, but all with medical efficiency.

"Your owner is one lucky lady, in perfect health, and very well behaved. It's hard to imagine you were a stray"

The vet muses to himself as you feel the harshest pinch of all today, right behind your ear. But your attention is soon swallowed by the biscuits the vet pulls from his pockets, which you greedily eat from his palm.

Once he's out of treats (and you checked, your face shoved into his pockets as he laughed at your antics), the vet puts a collar and leash on you (earning another good girl for standing so still for him) as he leads you to the lobby.

A receptionist clicks away on the keyboard before turning his head to your new owner.

"All we need now is the name Ma'am"

"Goodness, I only wish I could ask her myself." Your owner chuckles to herself at the thought. "Daisy, she looks like shed be a Daisy"

It's just then that you get led into the lobby by the veterinarian, and you can't help but tug against your leash when you see your owner, you love her, you love your owner(a thought that feels heavy with how universal it is).

Seeing your excitement your owner smiles

"I think the names a hit. Come on, Daisy, let's go home!"