#i feel extremely unloved and not valued by this aunt specifically

[xicanaroja]

That awkward moment when you spend $95 as a 23yo with a minimum wage job on your little cousin for Christmas, all in gifts tailored towards things you know she loves and gifts she specifically talked about wanting months previously, and her mom (your maternal aunt) gets you a pair of the Walmart value brand earrings, a Walmart clearance couch pillow that you can't use until you move out, and a check for $75 because she literally doesn't want to think about you and anything you like.

[innocentdogenthusiast-blog]

this is about to be petty and annoying which is why im complaining about it on tumblr bc tbh its not worth complaining to anyone else about

1.) i think my dad is relapsing which fucking sucks bc he almost died from losing his liver due to his drinking two years ago so lmao great and hes a super verbally abusive drunk and i thought i finally had my old dad back and i alreadt resented him enough for being so horrible while he was drinking so now im just pissed off at everything and everyone all the time

2.) the guy ive been seeing for 7 months just told me he doesnt want to be my boyfriend and hes still treating me like were together so i just want to die bc i get that im unlovable and annoying but for once i thought i was important enough to someone that they didnt want to lose me but whatever

3.) my aunt who i hardly get to see but actually like has 6 months to live bc she has an extremely aggressive cancer and she has three young boys thats such fucking shit they deserve a mom and nothing is sacred and nothing ever matters people just have to die even though theyre valued and important HA

4.) my best friend and one of the only people i keep close to me always wants to go get tattoos and piercings and always invites me but three times in a row has decided to go when i specifically cant go even though i planned on getting tattoos too but literally every time just ditches me so fuck that

5.) the other person i was closest too died suddenly about 9 months ago and we were fighting at the time so i constantly feel guilty and like a shitty person all around and i kinda took the roll of her protector but she died and i feel like its my fault when i know its not but that doesnt change that i feel like it is

6.) i hate my job so so much and im terrible at it

7.) my sister got married the day before my birthday which isnt a big deal and ive been trying to be okay with it but i also resent her a lil for it so thats fine

8.) I dont have a future in america anymore but it doesnt matter bc my grades suck and i suck

9.) i need to see a doctor but i hate myself too much and im an idiot

10.) i aggressively want to die and im constantly crying over everything and im extremely unlovable and i fit in nowhere with no one and i have a lot of hate in my heart which is something i never wanted to be true so things are going great