#angst with no comfort
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morikosa · 28 days ago
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REMORSE
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SUMMARY: He doesn't realize how valuable you are until he loses you.
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Things could have been different. If he had stayed home, you would still be alive. You would still be alive…
''My love… p-please don’t go''
Gojo froze in his tracks, feeling your delicate arms wrap around his waist from behind. Despite himself, a small flicker of surprise coursed through him, momentarily halting his steps towards the door. Your trembling voice reached his ears, filled with desperation and a plea for him to stay.
"I-I will prepare a dinner for you, my love… p-please don’t go,” you whispered, your lips pressing softly against his back in a tender kiss.
For a brief moment, the gentle touch and your plea tugged at a minuscule fragment of buried empathy within him. However, he quickly squashed that flicker of compassion.
He twisted his body to face you, his expression turning cold and unyielding once again under his blindfold. He roughly pushed your arms away from his waist, forcing you to release her grip on him. The action was swift and unforgiving.
“Your feeble attempts to keep me won’t work, y/n.” he spat, his voice laced with cruel indifference. “I have no use for your pitiful displays of affection. I am leaving.”
He turned away from you, resolute in his decision. He regretted his words at the moment he saw the pain and sadness in your eyes. But he couldn’t show it, he couldn’t show any sign of weakness.
After all, he was the strongest
With a last glance, he walked towards the door and left you. As he crossed the threshold, his heart remained hardened, untouched by the anguish he left behind. 
...
He was a terrible husband. He didn’t pay any attention to you. But he wanted to change that, so he bought you a bouquet to make it up to you, and today he was going to take you out to dinner. He was going to fix everything, you were going to be happy together.
“My sweet wifey~, I thought we could have dinner today, husband and wife–”
Upon entering the house, Gojo was met with an eerie silence that sent a chill down his spine. The door wide open, the lights on – everything seemed off. As he stepped further inside, his heart raced, confusion clouding his thoughts. The scent of carnage enveloped him, the heavy air thick with tension.
Then he found you.
Lying lifeless on the floor, your limbs twitching slightly as the waning moments of your life escaped from you. Blood pooled beneath you, the crimson liquid staining the once pristine floors with its haunting presence. A profound sorrow washed over him, accompanied by a wave of guilt – a bitter taste in his mouth.
The flowers he had intended to apologize with dropped from his grasp, the vibrant colors now tainted by the horrifying scene unfolding before his eyes. He watched in horror as you struggled for your last breaths, your fragile body betrayed by the curse that sought to end her life.
The irreversibility of the situation dawned on him at that moment - her fate was already sealed, your time running thin. Tears welled up in his eyes as realizations flooded his mind; regrets of his callous behavior, anger, and neglect came racing back and consumed his conscience.
If only he had stayed... if only he had paid attention.
Gojo fell to his knees beside you, reaching out tentatively to steady her limp form. “Y/N. Stay with me,” he pleaded, a foreign word in his vocabulary. “Please, don’t go.” His tears fell in torrents, landing beside hers on the muddied ground.
“Who. Who did this to you-”
His hands shook as he cradled you close, your warm breath steadily fading in his embrace. The pain of losing you was like a dagger piercing his heart, a relentless torture he could never escape.
What was the point? What was the point of being the strongest if he couldn’t even protect his wife?
At present
Gojo stands before your grave, a solemn figure with his head bowed low. The air holds a heavy silence, broken only by the soft rustle of leaves as a gentle breeze caresses the surrounding trees. The weight of his loss rests heavily upon his shoulders, his heart burdened with a mix of grief and regret.
“Hey, it’s me again,” he murmurs, his voice choked with emotion as he addresses the earth beneath him. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I wanted to let you know… I’m doing my best, even though it feels impossible without you here.”
His fingers trace the engraved letters of your name on the tombstone, his touch both reverent and pained. Memories of your time together flood his mind, each a bittersweet reminder of what he had lost. The weight of his remorse for not cherishing those moments to their fullest becomes evident in how his shoulders slump and his breath hitches.
“I miss you, more than words can express,” he admits, his voice breaking with raw vulnerability. “I wish I had realized sooner what you truly meant to me. I wish I had been a better husband and person for you… worthy of the love you had for me.”
His grip tightens on the flowers he brought, his knuckles turning white. He places them gently upon your grave, his gaze lingering upon the fading petals.
Tears glisten in his mismatched eyes, his voice barely more than a whisper now. “I love you, and I always will. I’m sorry I realized this so late. Wherever you are, I hope you’ve found peace. And just know… you’ll forever have a place in my heart.”
With a final, lingering look at your tombstone, he puts the bouquet on your tombstone and turns away.
He will live a lifetime with the pain of ruining the perfect future he could have had with you.
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yilingpatriarchscvnt · 7 months ago
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They were too late to get you back.
Warnings: mention of death, arguments, angst with no happy ending, neglected reader, jealousy.
Diluc x reader, Alhaitham x reader
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"Never got the chance to apologize.."
DİLUC
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Diluc and you were not the type of people who would fight often, been a relationship with him almost 4 years. Sure, everything is going well.
Well... it was going well. For the past 1 year everything changed for you and him. He barely came home, interact with you, ignoring you most of the time... and kept arguing, fighting over small things.
You never opened your mouth or fight back, you loved diluc so much that it was starting to hurt. Your shared room started to feel cold, no more morning kisses or hugs before diluc went to work, cold breakfasts and dinner all by yourself. Even if he did join the diner he would be quiet all the time, not even looking at you.
You did kept your mouth shut, holding for a hope... a hope for your future with him. Until you heard the conversation with Jean. The last knife that would break you.
"She's so useless, I cant keep up with her annoying presence all the time. All she do is stay at home and distract me from work... she keeps finding noneless things to argue with me. I just want to break the ties with her already, being with her is so tiring."
"Am I... that bad?" Who knew your dear lover was thinking of you like this for the past 1 year. All you wanted was too be like the past relationship you both had. Warm bed, morning kisses, happy breakfast and dates. Covering your mouth trying not to make any sound you left there sobbing quietly.
You did everything, I mean really everything. That all arguing was really nothing for him? You just asked for him to stay by yourside for more. You were slowly draining from inside, you had no one but diluc. Only his presence was keeping you sane but this cold mansion was making you crazy.
You returned back to the mansion, you had enough. Talking with him would go nowhere after all. You wanted his attention, you wanted him to see your worth. Going to the storage room picking up the sword once you held before moving in with your so called lover. Taking a mission from katheryne, you walked to the lawachurls camp.
You were going to show him that you are still worth for something, that you could help him with everything if he asked for it. Even if it meant death. Standing in front of the big creature holding your sword tightly you ran towards to it.
..Oh how wrong you were, thinking you could defeat that monster. Laying on a pool of blood coming from your head. Suddenly feeling peacefull for the first time after 1 year of suffering from neglect. Looking at the shining stars above you. Your head ringing from aches, sword a meter away. Faint screaming noises from back. You couldn't bother to look that way.
"Please..." a faint voice big hands caressing your cheek, weird it wasnt raining but you could feel wetness on your cheeks. Turning your eyes to the voice. Hands wiping away your blood.
"Diluc.." your throat dry, coughing the blood. Your beloved, your future. How could you hate him when he was the only one left in your life? İs this really how you were going to die? As a pathetic advanturer? Few tears sliding from your face as your blurry vision tried to capture every beauty on his face.
"Jean is coming here so... please... please dont leave me now..I wont neglect you anymore...I will beg on my knees once you recover... so dont leave me here all alone.." Ah... was he also holding a hope on his hands too? A future would be great with him. Your eyelids feeling heavy, heart beating slowly as the seconds passing, his voice becoming more and more faint.
"Sleep...Can I sleep in your arms?" Your head falling to his chest, inhaling the scent for the last time you missed for so long. Diluc holding your cold body close to him, screaming and crying cursing to the celestia as you drift away from him.
Alhaitham
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Alhaitham was no bad guy, I mean if it is you, he actually is willing to do anything for you. He is sure workaholic, but you guys were making sure spending time.
You met him in akademiya when you guys were like 18-19. İt wasnt a love in first sight infact you hated him because he was a cocky man. He barely cared for any situtations, always one step ahead of you, teasing you even if other cant really understand his way of teasing. But overall because of kaveh you guys did get along sometimes.
Suprisingly he was the one who confessed with a valentines card, it was cute since he was shy about it and now its been 7 years.
Alhaitham is good at fighting so sometimes he takes dangerous missions other than being scribe and that worries you a little. You were just a researcher in akademiya so you cant always be with him. First time meeting with The Traveler your mind was at ease since they were with Alhaitham and helped him with secret missions in desert.
From 7 years to this day he is also not the type of person who really shows affection towards to someone but you, it made you feel speacial. But after all that archon saving missions he invites traveler to dinner, hanging out with her more and more. You told yourself that you were not jealous and its normal to hang out with people they like.
This became so often that you were feeling so neglected, you couldnt even talked about this with alhaitham since you felt like he wouldnt care about it.
You were in your room with kaveh, he was trying to finish his desings as you were staring at the ceiling. "Saw alhaitham with a woman today while coming here." Kaveh broke the silence. "Do you know her?" He turned to you.
"You mean the traveler?" You asked tilting your head. "Uhm no? Traveler left to fontaine almost 1 week ago..." he was cold sweating, your eyes widened from shock. Then who he was meeting up with for 1 week?
"Kaveh... tell me your joking?" You laughed. İt was probably one of the jokes he was making right? But he remained silent looking down. No you wouldnt believe it until you see it with your own eyes. "Y/N wait-"
You stormed off to the Sumeru City streets heart beating like crazy. You stopped 20 meter away from alhaitham, hiding in the corner. You saw him... his betrayal as he caressed another womans cheek. She was beautiful, long silky hair and shining eyes, thin and elegance body. Your eyes watering slowly as you watched him lean for a kiss.
You ran from there. As fast as you can, till your lungs gave up. Entering your shared home to pack things up, you looked at youself on the mirror. Hair that looked horrible, sleepy eyes, body that looked like a frog in your eyes. But her... she was beautiful unlike you. You cried for the first time after years, wiping your tears as you packed your things. Leaving your room with no trace of you.
Kaveh on the other hand, explaining alhaitham that you saw everything. Panic rising in him he ran to the shared house. Walking inside slowly, trying to hear if there were any noise. "Y/N? I.. I came home?" He shouted. Feeling weird like the house got colder and quiet. His heart still beating like crazy he rushed to your room only to be faced with a tidy bed, empty warddrobe and empty studying desk.
This was a cruel joke on him right? You were joking, pranking him to make him regret for not telling you sooner it was for a mission right? His hand covering his face as he falls on his knees calling out your name a few times before breaking down.
Looking around trying to find anything that belonged to you, walking inside the house he spotted a letter.
My beloved lover,
I had to leave our home because my heart was hurting too much. Sometimes, I saw things that made me scared—little moments that maybe meant nothing but felt big and heavy to me. I've always struggled with feeling good enough, and these fears made me feel even smaller.
Leaving wasn’t about anger; it was about being so overwhelmed by sadness that staying felt impossible. I never wanted to run away, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I wasn’t what you needed.
I'm really sorry for any pain my leaving has caused. I hope one day we can understand each other better, but for now, I need some space to work through these feelings.
Take care,
[Your Name]
That was it, you left without giving a hint where you went. Guilt eating alhaitham up. For him you were perfect, you were everything he needed. Even your silence made him happy and peacefull. He was never good at showing his emotions and expressions but when you were with him he felt like he didnt need to force himself. You understood everything about him.
He lay down on your bed, a faint scent inhaling as he slightly squezzing the letter in his hand. Murmuring your name, begging to the teyvat to bring you back to him.
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iomoru · 27 days ago
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Good day, I, too have my own Kinich angst request for ya. Could you do one where after Reader dies protecting Kinich, he finds out they'd secretly forged a contract of their own with Ajaw that if they were to lose their life in the process of actively saving Kinich's (and thereby delaying Ajaw from getting his vessel; he'd probably treat the new deal as Reader's "punishment" for doing so and thus agree to it), he takes over THEIR body instead?
The Price of Devotion
A/n: I genuinely love this idea Saturn anon! ♡´・ᴗ・`♡
Genre: Canon Verse, Angst w/ no happy ending, Reader Dies, Gn! Reader, Second Person, Proofread
Summary: After sacrificing your life to protect Kinich, your secret deal with Ajaw comes to light—a contract that, upon your death, would grant Ajaw control over your body instead of Kinich's. As Kinich holds your lifeless form, the cruel reality sets in when Ajaw rises in your place, leaving Kinich devastated by the cost of your devotion.
part. 1, part. 2
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The weight of your body fell against Kinich's, your breath shallow as you struggled to stay conscious. Blood seeped through your hands where you pressed against your wound, but the pain paled in comparison to the agony in Kinich’s eyes as he held you close. He had been too late—too slow to stop the blade meant for him from finding its way to you instead.
"Why did you do that?" Kinich’s voice trembled, his golden eyes wide with disbelief. "You didn’t have to…I could have—"
"No," you whispered, your voice weak but resolute. "I…couldn’t lose you."
His arms tightened around you, his grip desperate as if holding you closer could stop the inevitable. But the warmth in your body was fading, and you could feel the darkness creeping in. There was no time left.
"I’m not worth this…" Kinich's voice cracked. He had spent so long trying to protect you, to shield you from the weight of the burden he carried as Ajaw’s chosen vessel. And now, you had given up everything for him.
You could barely focus, your senses slipping away, but you could still see the pain written all over his face. You reached up with trembling fingers to brush the side of his cheek, offering a faint, bittersweet smile. He deserved the truth, though you had sworn to keep it secret until this very moment.
"I made…a deal," you murmured, your breath growing fainter with each word.
Kinich's gaze darkened with confusion. "A deal?"
You nodded, your strength waning. "With Ajaw…if I died…protecting you… he’d take my body instead. Not yours."
His eyes widened, horror and disbelief colliding in his expression. "You what? You can't—"
"It was the only way Kinich," you breathed, your voice faltering. "I couldn’t let him take you."
Kinich shook his head furiously, panic overtaking him. "No, no…this can’t happen. I should be the one to pay the price. Not you."
Your heart ached at the desperation in his voice, but it was too late. The terms had already been set. You had given yourself over, knowing the consequences. You had accepted that Ajaw would use you as his vessel, that your body would no longer be your own. But it was a price you had been willing to pay…for Kinich’s sake.
"I’m sorry," you whispered, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. "I just…I couldn’t bear to lose you."
Kinich's grip tightened, his voice breaking as he pleaded, "There has to be another way. There must be something we can do—"
But even as he spoke, you felt it—Ajaw’s presence creeping into the edges of your awareness. The god had been waiting for this moment, for you to fall. You had defied him, delayed him from claiming his vessel, but now he would have you instead.
Kinich’s gaze flickered in panic as he felt the shift too, sensing the change in your energy. He clutched you closer, shaking his head as if trying to deny the inevitable. "Please, don’t leave me…"
Tears slipped down your cheeks as you whispered, "I’ll always…love you."
And with those words, the light in your eyes dimmed, and you slipped away into the void.
Kinich’s scream shattered the silence of the battlefield.
But the horror wasn’t over. Your body, once lifeless in his arms, began to stir. Slowly, unnaturally, your fingers twitched, your chest rising and falling with a breath that wasn’t your own.
Kinich’s blood ran cold as he pulled back, watching in dread as your eyes snapped open—no longer filled with the warmth and love he had known, but with the cold, malevolent gaze of Ajaw.
A slow, wicked smile spread across your—no, Ajaw’s—lips.
“Thank you for your sacrifice,” Ajaw’s voice echoed from your mouth, mocking and cruel. “I must say, I couldn’t have asked for a better vessel.”
Kinich’s heart shattered as he stared at the hollow shell of the person he loved.
This wasn’t you anymore. This was the price of your devotion—the cost of saving him. And now, as Ajaw gazed at him with your eyes, Kinich realized the bitter truth:
You were gone. Forever.
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A/n: I seriously love angst with no happy ending
© ²⁰²⁴ ɪᴏᴍᴏʀᴜ ✰ do not repost, translate, plagiarize, use to train ai, or share my work on other social media platforms.
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serenetoru · 3 months ago
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JJK SMAU | ITS YOUR FAULT.
in which you cheated on them, really why did you do it? angst with no comfort♡
they cheated on you
- Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Kamo Choso, Fushiguro Toji, Ryomen Sukuna -
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ladybyakuya · 2 months ago
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| SILVER SOUL + RAFAYEL. 
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+cw. —f!reader, reincarnation au + modern au + soulmate au, angst, yearning, one-sided pining, mature content. hints if love triangle if you squint | +wc. — 1k | +syn.— with that money,power and status your client had you thought this would be your breakthrough after working as bodyguard for a while now but it tore your heart apart instead.
+notes. — i’ll say this again. bodyguard job is no joke. insert that meme of [ “do a bodyguard mission.”they said, “it would be fun.” they said.] | redirect to blog navigation. | thanks to @purpleqilinwrites & @hayatoseyepatch for beta reading this piece.
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"I love you," Rafayel blurted out as he stared at the painting, part of him wanted to take it back, but the other half knew it did not matter since you must be sleeping somewhere here in this giant Mo Art Studio, in his home while he is drinking wine from the bottle he excavated from the wine cellar. Even though you should be awake and be by his side, you are not. He is all alone in his studio in the dead of night. His face contorts as he takes a few gulps from the bottle and keeps it on the nearby table. He hates it. He likes the taste. He would probably feel chipper and trippy by now but something happened this morning, something he did not expect, and all of this, this unfathomable sealike sadness stemmed from you. He is the God of the Sea, you can’t hurt him yet you did. Even the moon which was full has now turned into a slice, hiding behind the clouds. Even the moon is afraid of him. He scoffs at such sentiment. 
“Ser Rafayel. . . what’re you—
“Shhhhh!” He shushes you with his index finger over his lips. The sound almost comes as sharp as a whistle. His eyes linger on you, fluorescent it seems under the pale moonlight coming through the windows. He is standing in front of a painting almost five feet apart from you as you stand at the entrance of the studio. There are so many questions you want to ask him. What happened when you fainted? What happened to the gigantic sea creature? Why can’t you remember anything? — but all you could ask was, “Are you still mad at me?” voice as feeble as broken shells on the shore. It took you almost an hour to find him since you could not go back to sleep after what happened this morning. So, you’re not going back until you say your thing. Fuck work. Fuck professionalism. You want answers.
Rafayel turns his head in a flash. Mad at you? How could he ever? He is just . . . hurt. Why you ask? He turns his head back to the painting. He blames himself for the way you act now but he can not admit that to himself. Yeah! He is a coward. 
He did not expect you to be so cold after he saved your life. He hired you as your bodyguard for a reason, diluted the boundary of professionalism for a reason yet you have the audacity to tell him off? You might not remember your past life with him but he does and it is so vivid that it hurts to look at the same face that has totally such hostile feelings towards him. You do not know how many human lives it took to meet you again. Ah! This wretched curse. Humans are such vile creatures and it feels like a silver dagger in soul to have you as human in this life while he is a lemurian. If only he knew the way to make you remember . . . why can’t he just add some memories just like he wiped yours when he saved you from the Deluge Wyrmlord?
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” you swallow as he questions back realizing how dry your throat has become. It seems that he is still mad.
“As should you be too.” He looks at you, eyes red like running lava ready to swallow lives on earth  with a visible crease amongst his eyebrows. “Ser Rafayel.” you add.
Rafayel walks towards the sitting stool that he generally uses while painting but he tumbles in his way and you instantly run at light speed to hold him. “I’m fine. am fine.” He assures raising his hand in the air blocking your way to come to him for any aid he requires now. 
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything Ser.”
“Am I that appalling to you? He asked his heart aching since it still beats. The question hits you like a stone on a metal door. You do not. You clearly do not. It is just that . . . at that moment you weren’t thinking straight. You thought he did something to you. why do you think so little of me that you thought I did something to you while you were unconscious?"  
Your lips part for a second trying to form an answer that could ease his soul, soothe his mind. The answer is nothing but silence frustrates him to the point that he leaves his seat and stands up. You scoot a little closer fearing he would tumble again. Even though you emptied the wine cellar he managed to find one bottle. He must have a secret place or something. The state he is in, you think, Rafayel is going to forget all these what is happening right now. So, gathering all the courage you had left in your body standing as close as possible to him so that you can catch him if he falls. "You don't have any idea what you're doing to me." The amount of slur in his voice and the way his feet are wobbly he is gonna fall any second. . .and as you expected he falls like a withering petal in your arms. With utmost ease, you jock down on the floor. There is still a little bit of consciousness in his body but not enough to reject your help as he did just a while ago. 
He lulls into slumber with his head lying on your lap as he mumbles being under the influence of alcohol. "I'm in love with you," He snuggles more into your lap like a cat; so much for being afraid of them. "I'm in love with you and it sucks because I know you'll never love me back. Not in this life." As you hear his even breathing followed by slow purrs. You poke his cheek a little. He is asleep. Ah! Perfect timing.
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swarvey · 5 months ago
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when you've moved on | elliott x gn!reader | part two
summary -> he slowly lost interest in you after you got married. now he watches you fall back in love with someone else. warnings -> very slight mention of nsfw, implied age gap, mainly just angst! wc -> 1106
a/n: i swear i keep trying to write for the bachelorettes but then get inspired with an idea for the bachelors :') anyways have this, decided to do elliott since he's "so much older and wiser" iykyk.
this was inspired by the dialogue you get when your hearts with your sdv spouse gets low, except i flipped the tables :) lmk if you guys want to see this as a series!!
part one -> the way i loved you (sebastian)
tolerate it -> "what would you do if i break free and leave us in ruins?"
elliott's pen hovers over the page in front of him, unmoving for the past ten minutes now. his grip tightens, knuckles white in frustration as he finally releases it, falling back in his chair with his eyes closed as it clatters onto his table.
his writer's block has never been worse, and it's because all he can think of is you.
more so, his loss of you.
no matter how many times he replays the scenario in his head, he can't make sense of how he lost you. he still remembers his wedding day, how he couldn't help but tear up at the sight of you approaching him down the aisle.
"you said you wouldn't cry," you'd teased him.
"i said i would try, my dear," he responded, touching your cheek gently, "but how can i not? your beauty is otherworldly today."
he remembers his vows, his promise to always be by your side. he remembers kissing you like his life depended on it. he remembers going home with you that night, in disbelief that he could finally call you his as he pulled his hair into a bun, mermaid's pendant hitting his bare chest as he dragged you to the bedroom.
"i love you, y/n," he'd said after, both of you panting in exhaustion and satisfaction beside each other. "more than anything else in this universe. i wouldn't trade you for a hundred iridium bars."
you'd laughed, turning your head to look at him with shining eyes and pink cheeks. "really? how about a thousand?"
"nor a thousand."
"ten thousand?"
"not even ten thousand bars, no."
". . . how about a hundred thousand?"
"no, not even a hundred thousand bars!" he'd turned to you then, wide-eyed and holding back a grin at the sight of your scheming gaze. "my love, let's be reasonable—"
"what about a million bars?"
"wha . . . a million bars of pure iridium . . . ? dear, don't make me do this . . ."
"a-ha!" you'd said, sitting up in bed suddenly. "so you would!"
"i never said such a thing!"
at the sight of his pout, you had sprawled yourself on top of him, planting a kiss on his nose as he looked down at you with a smile.
"i love you, too, el."
elliott sighs, his head falling forward into his hand. one part of him wishes to hear you utter those words again; the other prays he'll one day forget you ever said them.
the first few seasons after the wedding had been dreamlike — elliott had never felt so full of life before. it was like being with you had opened his eyes to how colorful and bright the world could be. sometimes he would wake up before you and admire your sleeping figure, a soft smile appearing on his lips every time he caught a glimpse of your necklace.
he doesn't remember when the spark began to fade, though.
no, he only recalls the days he began to leave the farm early in the morning to spend time alone in his old cabin on the beach, coming back only for dinner. the two of you would eat quietly, sitting at opposite ends of the table. he would ask and answer questions shortly, mainly focusing on the dull, uninspiring feeling he seemed to get every time he was in your shared house.
he never noticed the sad look filling your eyes, begging him to pay attention to you, to show you the love he once had for you. he paid no mind to how your face lit up every time he came home, only to deflate as he walked past you. he never even thought about how your conversations with him had turned one-sided, as he would spill his troubles to you without even giving you a chance to share yours.
not until it was too late, that is.
". . . do you still love me?"
it was a question he never thought he would hear from you, and yet he'd unknowingly driven you to that point. elliott had never heard silence so loud until then, realizing that, for some reason, he couldn't answer your question.
"answer me, elliott," you'd said, voice wavering as he uneasily met your eyes. "i need to know this. i feel like you've been treating me like a kid lately — when i talk to you, i can barely get a word out without you lecturing me. you're barely home to even do that anymore."
he scoffed. "please, y/n, be reasonable," he had replied, the same words he had said that night after professing his love to you. "i've simply been a bit caught up lately, that's all. i need my own time to write."
"seriously? that's what you're going to say?" you shook your head, crossing your arms as you looked at him pleadingly. "why are you acting like this? do you seriously think being a bit older than me justifies how you've been treating me?"
"that has nothing to do with our situation," he snapped sharply, then sighed. "please, can we go to bed? i'm tired of this." he started towards the bedroom door, leaving you behind him.
"you never answered my question."
he stopped.
"it's okay, el," you'd whispered. "i had a feeling i already knew. i was just hoping you would at least be able to tell me."
so now, here he is. unable to finish the sequel to his novel because he'd dedicated the first one to you, and what's the point of writing a second one if you're no longer by his side?
what's the point if you have sebastian now, who spends every second with you? who is much younger than him and rides a motorcycle? who gives you a mermaid's pendant — a year after the two of you separated, by the way — and makes sure the entire town can make it to your wedding?
he doesn't know what you see in him. sure, his passion for music is a bit admirable, but can he really treat you properly? there's no way seb can make you smile, make you laugh, make you cry out of pure joy or pleasure like he did.
elliott had attended the wedding, of course, so he could make sure you were happy.
he most certainly wasn't hoping to see a twinge of hesitation, maybe even regret in your eyes as you walked down the aisle again.
as elliott abandons his writing and heads out the doorway of his cabin, the image of you happier than he'd ever seen you while passionately kissing sebastian is burned into his mind.
you are no longer his, and it's entirely his fault.
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intriq · 1 year ago
Text
Daffodil
Part of my Hanahaki series
Character: Jason Todd
Theme: Angst
Daffodil: regard, unequalled love
‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎┏━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┓
You've known Jason for awhile. You've been friends for a few years at this point.
You've seen him change and grow. Grieved him when he died, welcomed him back when he returned. Supported him when he needed it, because truthfully? He did need it. Even if he was a stubborn asshole about it.
But you also loved him throughout those years. Through all those changes.
You loved him when he died, loved him when you visited his headstone, and you loved him even when he came back. You just always did.
But you also knew he never loved you back. He was never quite capable of seeing of just how head over heels you were for him, even though his family could. To him, you were always just his "best friend".
You thought you could be happy like that, you truly did. You thought you could be content loving him from the sidelines, even if it was suffocating knowing he would never love you back. You thought you'd be okay.
Until you coughed up those flower petals.
You remember the exact day you first discovered you had Hanahaki Disease, too.
It'd been a cloudless night, the first one in a few days. Maybe weeks. Either way, for once Gotham was not shrouded by storm clouds. It was at most, calm. Peaceful. But perhaps that in of itself should have been an omen.
Because Gotham was never peaceful.
You don't remember exactly what was said that night, but you just remember how you'd started coughing the moment Jason was distracted. Had you two been on a stakeout that night? You were almost sure that you were.
You remember so vividly clutching those flower petals in your hands, staring at them before crushing them in your palm, letting them drift in the wind when Jason asks you if you were alright.
And now here you were, months later. Over time Jason would give you suspicious looks when you'd tried to hide your coughing fits, would always double check if you were really okay. But you always said you were.
Until today.
You and Jason are doing the last of your stakeout mission, gathering the last tiniest bits of intel to feed to the others so that way they could take out this newly fledged gang from right under their nose. It's cold, but that's fine. Gotham is always cold, especially in the autumn months.
"How much longer are we supposed to be out here for?"
You pause to think for a minute as your eyes scan the outside of the warehouse the gang had turned into their main base of operations. Taking in every detail, hoping it’d help piece together some of their behavior.
“Not that much longe—“ Your words are cut off by that feeling in your throat, hand flying up reflexively as you scramble to remove your mask just in time to violently begin coughing into the palm of your hand.
You hunch into yourself as you cough, your free hand clutching your mask desperately so you could put it back on at a moments notice. Next to you, Jason is concerned. Behind the red helmet he wears his face is a mixture of concern.
It takes awhile for you to stop coughing. The raw creeping pain that fills your throat and makes your lungs burn is something you’ve grown used to.
You pull your hand away when you feel that same familiar feeling of blood in your hands, wet and hot as it pairs with your spit and the flowers. You try to hide it from Jason, you really do. You try to clench your fist and let it drop to your side.
But Jason is faster. He’s got your hand snagged by the wrist the moment it drops. And he pries your hand open while he remains quiet. And when he sees the flowers and blood in your hands he knows he should’ve done so sooner.
You’d been hiding behind the coughing fits for awhile. Pulling excuses out of the air for each one. Making up reasons for your dwindling strength and stamina, for how your skin got progressively more sickly and pale.
Excuses each and every time that Jason now regrets not looking deeper into.
“Fucking Hanahaki Disease? Seriously?” Jason doesn’t hesitate to say your name in that same tone. He’s angry, but he’s worried. An angry kind of concerned and worried, because for months you’ve probably been suffering alone. And to him, he doesn’t want his best friend to suffer alone. He’s had to do that already, he knows it’s shitty.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is it?”
“It’s not important, Red. Doesn’t matter—“
Jason stops you, the grip on your wrist tightening for a moment as he seems to be trying at least a little bit to regulate his emotions.
“Screw that. It’s Jason your talking to right now, not Red Hood.”
“Jason—“
“No! It does fucking matter, okay? Your.. Fuck, you’re my friend, okay? I care about what’s happening to you.”
Your heart aches at the word friend, makes the suffocating feeling in your throat grow tighter. Friend. Of course. That was all you’d ever be to him.
“It’s just a little one sided love, Jason.”
“Little? You call coughing up blood and flowers little? Your dying!”
Your face scrunches up as you begin sputtering again, coughing as more specks of blood fly past your lips.
“If it’s one sided, you need to get the surgery. It’s the only option.”
Immediately your shaking your head, trying to refuse, but Jason’s already picking you up. He’s already died once, brought back by chance because of the Lazarus Pit. He’s not gonna have you die, because you matter to him.
He ignores your protesting pleas as you eventually fall unconscious from the lack of air you are able to get into your lungs because of the flowers growing there.
And Jason brings you to Gotham General.
But when you awaken from that lifesaving surgery, preventing you from dying on the operating table as you were seconds from death, Jason noticed your different with him.
He can see just how different you look at him. You aren’t the same you that he remembers growing up with. The look in your eyes is different, as is your smile.
You aren’t quite as warm, not quite that same ball of sunshine with him as you used to be. At first he thinks it’s because your mad at him for bringing you to the hospital against your wishes, but..
Even when months pass and you still don’t get that same energy you used to back is when he understands. It hits him when your suddenly looking at someone else the way you used to look at him and it hits him hard, like a smack to the face.
Oh. He thinks. He was the one you loved.
And that regret hits Jason hard, especially when he coughs up flower petals of his own.
‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛
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sillygoosealert · 8 months ago
Note
UUUUUH SAD ANGST SAD ANGST IDEA
Terminally Ill reader who doesn’t treat it and hides it from Bi-Han because he’ll think it’s weakness, and he’s super hard on them for being ‘lazy’ until one day he wakes up to them cold beside him in bed (Bi-Han pov for extra angst)
STOP THIS INES GETTING TO ME
Are you ignoring me? Answer me..
Bi-han angst, no comfort
It’s 4:00 in the morning, it’s time to get up
However, you have trouble even processing that
It's like you’re in rim sleep- 24/7
This upsets Bi-Han greatly, as his spouse, you should be better than this
And he lets you know this
Every day
And every time he sees you
After his habit of nit-picking started, you looked even more exhausted 
He would feel pity and let you take a break- if you hadn't started to slack off
Maybe you thought he didn't notice when you stopped to go dry heave for a minute and then continue
Or when you sat down for a minute after only an hour or two of work
He did.
And he wasn't thrilled about the whispers and looks not only you, but he got after you started
Most of them were indifferent- or pitiful
And he hated that
People were pitting you for no reason, not one good enough at least
When you got to your room that night, he snapped
‘Do you know what I saw today?’ he hisses, furrowing his eyebrows
‘No, what did you see hun?’ you are whispering, not sure what he's mad at- or who he’s mad at
‘You sitting down, while on duty’ now he’s fuming, he can’t help when he gets mad. He has his fathers rage
‘I had to take a moment to rest, it isn’t easy working for hours at a time’ You look tired, you’re pale, skin sunken in around your eyes
He noticed, but he noticed other people just like doing their work too
‘Are you pregnant?’
‘What? No, I would tell you if I was pregnant.’ you look..upset? If anyone should be upset it should be him
‘Then you have no excuse. Nothing is stopping you from doing your work.’
You don't say anything as you reach for the door
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m not sleeping with you tonight.’
He says nothing as you leave
The next day he sees you, yet says nothing
He's too busy anyways
You come back to your room that night, you're actually there before he arrives
Pathetic
He says nothing as you shiver and cough and wheeze
‘I love you’
He hears you whisper not long after he gets into bed
‘Get some rest, I know you need it’
That was his way of saying it back, you knew it
He was far from pleased with your recent performance- but he would never let you think he didn't love you
‘Can you say it back?’
‘Why? We've talked about this before..’
He has told you he isn't fond of saying it
It isn't him
‘Goodnight Bi-Han.’
You're ignoring his question
He doesn't know why, and it upsets him
So he turns away from you as he closes his eyes and eventually falls asleep
When he wakes up and turns to you, your back is facing him
He shakes you gently
But no response
So he shakes you a little harder
No response
‘You have to get up today, I'll give you a few more minutes but that's it.’
After he dresses he goes back for you
‘I know you're awake, and I know you're upset..’
He cares about you, he really does. He wants to pour his heart out every time he has the pleasure of holding you in his arms
He wants to say ‘i love you’ every night and every morning, to make sure you remembered
He wants to start a family with you, and hold you close when you are with child- with his child
And he wants to tell you that
But he won't, or maybe he just can't
‘And we can talk about it later, however we have to get up’
You don't even move to look at him
‘Are you ignoring me?’
Maybe he should understand- give you space and time
But he doesn't understand, he didn't do anything in his eyes
‘Answer me. Are you ignoring me?’
The silence is loud and he stomps over to the bed, forcefully turning you over
Tears stain your cheeks as your eyes are glazed over
An empty look for a once-radiant person
Then he lets go of your cold, lifeless body
There is nothing left in you
It's gone- everything is gone and the world isn't spinning anymore
He isn't breathing
Or blinking
He's just staring
He didn't even realize he was backing up until he backed into a wall
Then he goes to the bed a checks for a pulse
Nothing
He picks up your body and cradles it
His own tears now staining your face
He knows he couldn't have changed you dying
Well, maybe he could have
But he really wishes you knew he at least cared about you
But you didn't
And you never would
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🎀
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r0mantic-f00l · 7 months ago
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(sooo finally did it, sorry for posting late! just a fair warning, this is super sad, so read with discretion. also not proof read)
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Just a Man
Sirius Black was pathetic.
Nothing more than a man who found delight in people's suffering.
In your suffering.
So you ended it with him. You did not know how, did not know where the strength and courage came from to put yourself first, yet you did know that the infatuation, the excitement that Sirius Black was, it faded. Like a mere illusion.
It was as if you woke up one day from a dream, or was it a nightmare? Is it possible for an experience to be both?
Every connection with him was cut off. You no longer talked to his friends, no longer possessed his shirts and vinyl albums and jewelry he had gifted you. You put it all in a box and left it outside his door.
It sounds as if it was easy, just leaving him in a heartbeat. Not loving him anymore. It was not easy, no. It was a battle. A battle with him, yes, because he refused to let go. But a battle with your heart too, because it refused to let go of him. Hope still lingered that perhaps all those things he would whisper to you in the midst of lust or drunkeness were true, were statements that he meant deeply.
You knew he didn't.
That's why you left.
But he couldn't leave you.
That is why Sirius Black was pathetic.
-♡-
The glow of the streetlight near to your apartment slid through the cracks of your window's blinds whilst you lied on your bed, reading a book that you had only begun a couple days beforehand.
Ticking of the clock that rested on your bedside table would distract you from your reading, reminding you that it was nearing midnight and you needed to get sufficient rest to make sure you would wake up the next day early enough to do everything you wanted to do.
However, the book was too captivating.
A knock on the door, followed by the shouting of your name finally dragged you away from the novel.
You knew who it was.
You hoped it wasn't him.
But you knew it would be.
You walked out of your bedroom and into the living room, where your front door was being abused by a repeated knocking.
Exasperated, you unlocked it and only opened the door by a smidge, a little crack showing two familiar faces.
Peter Pettigrew, holding up Sirius like a broken doll.
"No." You protested before Peter could even utter out a word.
The man sighed as he begged you silently with his eyes to listen to him whilst Sirius swayed where he stood.
"He keeps shouting your name."
"So?"
Peter scoffed.
"So he wants to talk to you, and he won't rest until he does."
"This is the fourth time this month, Peter." You spoke through gritted teeth, your patience running very thin.
"And it won't happen again. Promise."
It was an empty promise. Of course it was. Any promise made on Sirius' behalf always failed to come to fruition.
Yet before you could say anything further, Sirius murmured your name with his head hung low, seemingly too inebriated to recognise the door in front of him.
"I can't do this again, Peter. I want to move on." Subconsciously, you opened the door a bit further, the creaking noise gathering the attention of Sirius, who rose his head and widened his eyes when he saw your face.
He smiled widely, drunkenly, and cheered your name as if you were the answer to his prayers.
"I'll pick him up in the morning." Peter rushed his words out and left, making Sirius stumble in his footing and instead balance on the wall beside him, leaning against it as he grinned at you.
You sighed and fully opened the door, wrapping your arm around Sirius' back as you helped walk him into your apartment.
"Hello, my love." He murmured into your ear, the smell of vodka and cheap beer wafting into your nose as he leaned down to you.
You scowled and dropped him on your sofa, going to walk away to the kitchen to get him a drink of water before he held tightly onto your wrist.
"Where are you going?" Sirius pouted, like a spoilt child.
"Kitchen. Need to get you some water." You replied simply, and walked away when Sirius begrudgingly let go of your wrist.
The trinkle of water into the glass was not loud enough to cover Sirius' shouting as you stood by the sink, sighing as he spoke.
"Y-You would never beli-believed what happened to me tonight." Sirius slurred, turning around on the couch to face the kitchen.
"This girl, some random girl, came up to me and started- just started flirting!" He gasped out, shocked for some reason whilst you walked towards him with a glass in your hand.
"So, so I told her I have a girlfriend--"
"You don't have a girlfriend, Sirius." You placed the glass of water down in front of him and walked behind the couch.
The man grinned and rolled his head back, gazing at you with that typical arrogant, dangerous look.
"Yeah, but, I will do."
Your eyebrows furrowed as you crossed your arms.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Sirius leaned forward and took a sip of his water, humming as he drank it, and placed it back down as he turned to face you.
"Well, whatever thing you're going through now, you-you'll snap out of it soon." He smiled and ran his hand through his hair.
"And we'll be back together like nothing happened."
You scoffed and walked away from him, tired of his naivety.
"No, we won't."
Sirius chuckled and stood up from the couch, following after you.
"Hey, where you going, darling?"
"I'm not your darling!" You snapped, turning around to face him.
Rage filled your bones with the energy of your broken heart as you stared at Sirius, who only appeared perplexed, as if your reaction was unwarranted.
"I'm not your love, I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your safety net to fall back on whenever you're bored and desperate and alone." You stepped towards him, watching as his eyes became clearer and his back straighter.
"I will never be any of those things ever again, because I don't love you anymore."
That hit something within him, Sirius appearing to become sober and shocked. And finally hurt by you. Finally he knew the feeling of rejection, of not being good enough.
"Y-you don't love me?"
You shook your head, willing away the tears building up in your eyes as Sirius' hands lifted to hold your face, but then staying in the air as if they did not know where to go anymore.
"I don't love you. Not anymore. Now that I know you're nothing special."
Perhaps that was too far, too cruel, but you wanted him to experience the same feelings you felt whenever he would complain about you to his friends, whenever he would flirt with other girls, whenever he would ignore you like you meant nothing to him.
You could see in his eyes that his would crumbled, could hear the shattering of his heart as he stumbled back.
"But you... you don't mean that." Sirius sniffed, chuckling dejectedly as he stated into your eyes. He half-expected you to laugh and say it was all a joke, or to beg for his forgiveness and hold him in your arms until the morning.
After all, he only came to your apartment for your warm and familiar embrace. An embrace that made him feel safe and loved.
"I do mean it. I've never meant anything more. I don't love you, and I want you to go."
Sirius shook his head, a tear slipping from his eye.
"No."
"Sirius, leave."
A sob broke out of him before he knelt on the ground before you and hugged your body, clinging desperately onto you as he cried.
"No, I don't want to leave, I-I..." He couldn't form words properly, sobbing with the overwhelming emotions of sadness overtook him.
"I can't leave you."
You shut your eyes, holding your head up as you fought the strong urge to sink to the floor and kiss away his tears.
"Please, Sirius. If you... if you feel anything towards me at all, please go away."
The man turned silent, his hold on your body slipping away slowly as he remained knelt on the floor.
The sight reminded you that he wasn't a saint, a god, a dreamer with the purpose of putting a little excitement into your life.
He was just a man. Nothing more. Nothing special.
Sirius stood up, his cheeks wet and his eyes red whilst he avoided looking at you.
He nodded, appearing to respect your wish as he began to walk away.
He took slow steps towards the door, leaving you frozen in place as you watched him walk away.
Before he opened the door, before he could go away for good, he turned back to you.
"I'm sorry."
Then the door opened, and shut.
And you cried.
You did not know why, perhaps it was the overwhelming emotions of relief and misery and love that made you crumble and cry, yet you did know that with every tear, every smile, every laugh and every frown; none of it would be as strong as it was with him.
-♡-
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aventurineswife · 22 days ago
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Stages of Shadows |
R O U N D 1
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The lights in the preparation room were dimmed, casting a soft, theatrical glow over the contestants as they moved about, adjusting to the discomfort of their new performance attire. In one corner stood Robin, dressed in an intricate outfit befitting her reputation, yet there was a subtle tension in her posture as she glanced over the stage setup, breathing in the heavy atmosphere of anticipation. She straightened her costume, fingers trailing over the ornate details that made her feel both regal and vulnerable.
Her eyes flickered across the room, finding [Name], who was calmly adjusting their own attire. Though they'd exchanged few words before, the air between them held a strange familiarity mixed with a new layer of rivalry, now that they knew the consequences of failure. [Name] glanced at Robin, catching her gaze just for a moment—a fleeting glance that held no warmth, only a steady, unreadable intensity that sent a chill down her spine.
Taking a breath, Robin tried to shake off the unease. She had performed countless times before audiences that adored her, but here, it was different. There was no adoration waiting for her out there—only judgment and the cold, detached gaze of the evaluators. The stakes were terrifyingly real.
A low chime echoed in the room, signaling that it was time. Robin swallowed, her heartbeat quickening. She could feel [Name]'s presence behind her, steady and unfazed. It was as if the world beyond the curtain had melted away, and only the stage and their impending judgment existed.
As they were called forward, Robin gave a final glance at [Name], finding in their expression something between confidence and quiet ruthlessness. This was it—their first round, the moment to prove themselves or be forgotten forever.
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(Art by @zassyoku_DD on X)
On the stage, as the haunting notes began to fill the air, Robin and [Name] slipped into the music’s flow, voices weaving together in a bittersweet harmony that held the audience in rapt attention. Their voices rose and fell, merging effortlessly, blending vulnerability with strength, creating something beyond a competition. Each note seemed to bind them, transcending the stakes and the darkness looming at the edge of the stage.
The lights dimmed to an intimate glow, spotlighting the two of them as they sang. At that moment, their eyes met—two gazes locked, capturing a warmth that melted the cold tension of the competition. Robin’s nerves faded as [Name]'s eyes softened, reflecting gentleness. There was no calculation, no rivalry—only the connection between two souls bound by the intensity of this shared moment.
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They sang the next verse, their voices intertwining with a vulnerability that was raw and tender. Without realizing it, they stepped closer, their hands brushing as they reached for the same note. A faint smile tugged at the corner of Robin’s lips, one that [Name] mirrored, as if they both understood something unspoken—that, for now, nothing else mattered. Winning, losing... it all faded away.
As Robin gazed into [Name]'s eyes, the final note lingered in the air, resonating softly in their hearts. Her gaze drifted for a split second to the scoreboard, the ominous numbers sealing her fate, before she looked back at [Name] with a serene acceptance.
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Her lips curved into a gentle smile, and she whispered, so quietly it was barely a breath: “Please take care of my brother.”
For a moment, [Name] didn’t understand, still lost in the warmth of their shared performance, still captured by the closeness between them. But then, like a thunderclap, the words sank in. Their eyes widened just as something warm and wet splattered against their cheek—a spray of crimson that stole the air from their lungs. They staggered back, the weight of realization crashing down as they watched Robin’s body fall.
Time seemed to slow as they fell to their knees, numbness spreading through their limbs. The stage lights cast a stark glow over Robin’s form, her body lying still, surrounded by a pool of her own blood, a final soft smile gracing her face as though she’d found peace in her last moment.
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A single trickle of red traced the curve of her lips, frozen in time.
[Name] reached out, trembling, their fingertips brushing the cold stage floor just inches from her. The crowd’s noise, the distant cheers, the indifferent faces of the judges—all blurred into a single, painful silence. The friend who had been beside them, who had shared this stage, was gone.
They could only stare, horror-stricken, the emptiness sinking deeper as Robin’s words echoed in their mind. The weight of her last request crushed them, etching itself into their heart like a scar: “Please take care of my brother.”
And in that moment, as the reality of her absence set in, [Name] felt their own smile fade, replaced by the raw, aching emptiness of loss.
The world around them felt distant, blurred at the edges, as if time itself had halted to mourn her passing. But reality crashed back all too soon—the firm grip of a guard’s hand yanked them upright, snapping a cold metal collar back around their neck. The sharp click of the lock echoed, sealing them back into the relentless, unyielding grip of the competition.
The weight of the collar pressed into their skin, a brutal reminder of their place here, as if the warmth of her last touch and her parting words were already slipping away. They didn’t struggle, didn’t fight; they simply stood, eyes still locked on Robin’s peaceful form lying amid the crimson stain on the stage. That faint smile she wore haunted them, searing into their memory as something to carry with them—a fragile comfort and a haunting wound all at once.
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[Navigation]
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nomoreusername · 9 months ago
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Alone
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Pairing:Gally x female reader
Summary:When you storm out after an argument, Gally figures out just how truthful your words are.
"I can't stand you sometimes. You are so rude to everyone around you,"Y/N snapped. 
"Me? I am not rude. This is just how I am,"I defended.
"Are you serious? Are you screwing with me? You are so caught up in your ego, so blind, that you don't even see when you hurt people. You don't even know who you are,"She said, almost yelling.
"You know what? If I'm that terrible you can just leave. I don't need you,"I shot back.
"And you think I need you? Because I don't, and I never will,"She told me. I just stared at her with a blank expression. "One day you're going to scare everyone off, and you'll get what you think you want. You'll be all alone. When that happens don't look for me,"She scowled, walking out and slamming the door.
"You think I care?! I don't need you! I don't need anybody!"I yelled.
I replayed the last conversation we had over and over. How could it end like this? I should have apologized, should have begged for her to stay, should have promised I love her. If I had WCKD wouldn't have captured her. They wouldn't have killed her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything,"I repeated, holding back sobs. It was too late to tell her that though.
Just like she had said I was alone, and I couldn't turn to her to pick me up. My entire world had been shattered in one night. All because of a argument so miniscule I don't even remember what it was about.
There was no fixing me this time. I was destroyed, and I had nobody to blame but myself.
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yilingpatriarchscvnt · 1 year ago
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One glance, eternal mistake.
Zhongli x God!Reader
Angst with no comfort, regret, mention of death, character dying, blaming someone innocent.
"maybe it would have been better if we have never met y/n."
Summary: Y/n falling in love with the god of contract, who knew it would turn out this way.
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_____________________________________________
Stars of the teyvat... Yes, the fake sky and the stars. Y/n was indeed a magical creature type of god. Y/h color with a fading midnight blue to blend in with the sky, her eyes glowing like the stars that rises of up in the middle of the night. Watching all over teyvat, reporting back to the heavenly principles.
Y/n was no strong or weak god, all she could do is control over stars and look over the world. Until she fell from sky when khaenri'ah's fall started. Watching archon's destroying the innocent khaenri'ah people turning into a monster. She can't interfere, it would be illegal to the laws of teyvat and would get punishment from the upper gods.
She wake up at the mountains of liyue, Morax's territory.
Traveling around the liyue and bumping to morax accidentally, of course from her appearance morax would know she was not a ordinary mortal.
"you are not from here are you?" A cold masculine voice sent shivers down her spine. From his gaze and his stand she knew she was not a match for him.
"I came from the stars, the sky, god of contract. I watch all over the teyvat." She tried to look at him like he looked at her, trying to scare him. Well that was a dumb mistake that lent her to embarrassment.
"I see mind exchanging names, heavenly god." Who was y/n to decline that offer. Time by time they got to know each other, they made lots of friends and had fun hanging out.
All teyvat knows a heavenly god shouldn't be falling in love with someone on teyvat. Principles knows why that stupid law was there, y/n can't put up with her feeling that called 'love'. İt made her like a person who is too drunk, can't find a way to stop her day dreaming about morax. She can't keep running away from him.
She loved him so much it was hurting. Everytime she see how he looked at guizhong with those eyes, it hurt. Everytime he hold her hand it hurt. Jealousy was filled in her head but who was she to do something bad to guizhong.
The day came and y/n was ready to confess her feelings, walking to the Qingyun Peak with a foolish smile on her face.
"I'm sorry y/n but my feelings belong to guizhong." Yes, a foolish smile on her face. Which place you look you can see her face slowly turning to a sad expression. Tear in her eyes as she lowered her head accepting the truth.
They returned back to liyue harbor in silent, not saying and words to each other like they used to. Sharing a few glances but looking away quickly trying not to disturb each others presence. Or that's what morax thought, how could she be disturbed by him being next to her. That's what she needed after all.
Only after a few days, everything fell apart. Everyone turning their backs on you, you never knew why until the guizhongs death rumors came to her ears. Quickly searching for morax only to be met by his angry face towards her.
"Why are you looking at me like that morax?" That's right she doesn't know why, why did everyone suddenly turned their back on her, why did guizhong die, why morax was looking at her like he was disgusted?
"Are you really going to act like you don't know? İs that it y/n? Were you so jealous that you had to kill her?" No...no she really didn't understand what was going on.
"What are you talking about morax, I didn't do such a thing!"
"Watching over teyvat? What an absurd thing for a god. Watching over teyvat so you could spot guizhong and kill her?" Morax scoffed at the first part of his sentence, making you tear up.
"İt's not an absurd thing! İf it weren't me this world would have been nothing but a chess piece for heavenly principles! I don't use my power to kill someone morax." She ended her sentence.
"Really? So why the liyue's people are telling that they witnessed you killing guizhong?! Maybe it would have been better if we have never met y/n." The ground started to rumble as he shouted.
"I didn't do it, I am telling you! I would have already be killed by principles if I did that to a minor god!" She shouted back.
Back and forth arguing for 20 minutes led them nothing but a prison inside the cave for y/n. She did nothing wrong, it wasn't her. No creature would look exactly like her.
Days after days, weeks after week and a month. She was stuck inside that cave that morax threw her in. The rumors started to vanish like a wind. Y/n already gave up there were no stars inside the cave and she couldn't watch over teyvat. She knew she was going to be executed. Heavenly principles already planned her execution.
The false rumor reached to everyone's ear in Liyue, it wasn't y/n who killed but her another creature sent by upper gods. God of contract, morax was devastated hearing the news. He was walking to the cave where you were in really fast almost sprinting.
Only to be met by you who was already got killed, a spear pierced through your chest as you looked at him smiling for the last time. Throwing himself on to her, catching her before she fall to the ground, Holding you.
"I lied y/n, my heart and my body only belongs to you, my feelings too. I was a coward y/n, I couldn't say it that they but I really thought it was you who killed her, I was wrong. I was wrong for the first time and I am letting you die like this." He confessed.
"İt was probably principles order morax don't blame yourself" y/n said through her coughes.
"how can I not? I shouldn't have done this in first place at all. I should have trusted you, I love you so much but I couldn't trust y/n. Don't forgive someone like me."
"Morax..." Her breathing got slower.
"No...no don't- just don't die on me like this! We still have lots to do y/n, once we get back to Liyue we can spend our times together! So...please.." his voice broke at the end begging to her stay more. She caressed his cheek wiping his tears away.
"Morax, I'm getting sleepy..." Her hand fall to the ground closing her eyes and breathing his scent in for the last time.
"I understand, please sleep well my love. Dream about being on the sky and flying around the stars again my dear..." He carried her body to a high mountain that had great views at night.
He sat next to her grave watching the stars that no longer shine as bright as before. The feeling of guilt pressing down on his heart, crying like a toddler. He looked up the sky once again as he saw a shooting star.
"you must be flying freely now, you look happy."
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iomoru · 28 days ago
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ioo!!! hope you're having a good day and if you aren't, i hope it gets better! if you're in the mood, can you do kinich x reader angst where he breaks up with the reader because he thinks he may not come back from the night warden wars and is scared so he doesn't want reader to feel hurt? you can end it with angst or fluff (eg, reader comforts him enough to not do it or he ends up doing it) idk if you get what i mean HAHA but ty if you choose to do this request!!
A Farewell Beneath The Stars...
A/n: im actually really glad you gave me this req earth anon! I haven't really done angst again for a while and YOU just gave me an idea for it (≡^∇^≡)
Genre: Canon Verse, Angst w/ no happy ending, Gn! Reader, Kinich x Reader (not anymore), Second Person, Proofread
Summary: Kinich decides to break up with you as the Night Warden Wars intensify. Fearing he may not return, he doesn't want you to endure the pain of waiting for him, only to be left with memories and loss. Despite your pleas, Kinich is determined to protect you from future heartbreak, even if it means walking away from the love of his life. As he leaves, you're left beneath the cold stars, shattered and alone, realizing there's no going back.
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The night sky stretched infinitely above, a canopy of stars that seemed distant, cold. The gentle rustle of leaves filled the air as you stood at the edge of the forest, your heart pounding in your chest. Kinich was late. He was never late.
A soft crunch of footsteps on the dry leaves snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned around to see him standing there, his silhouette barely visible in the moonlight. He looked tired, his usually warm, amber eyes clouded with something you couldn’t quite place—something darker.
"Kinich?" You called out softly, stepping toward him, the air between you heavy with unspoken tension. "Where have you been?"
He didn’t answer right away, his gaze fixed on the ground. When he finally looked up, his eyes met yours, and you saw it—fear. Real, raw fear. The kind you hadn’t seen in him before.
"I’ve been thinking," he began, his voice low, almost strained. "About us."
Your heart stuttered in your chest. The air felt colder suddenly, and you could feel the shift in the atmosphere. You swallowed hard, stepping closer. "What do you mean?"
He ran a hand through his dark hair, frustration and fear warring on his face. "The Night Warden Wars...they’re getting worse. You know that." His voice faltered for a moment, and you could tell he was struggling to find the right words. "I might not come back."
The weight of his words hit you like a punch to the stomach. "Don’t say that...you’ll come back. You always do."
He shook his head, his jaw clenched as if the pain of what he was about to say was too much. "No, this time it’s different. You don’t understand. This time...I don’t know if I can promise that."
You could feel the tears burning behind your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not yet. "So, what? You’re just going to give up on us? Just like that?" Your voice cracked despite your best efforts to stay strong.
"It’s not giving up," he said, his voice growing quieter, more fragile. "I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have. If I don’t make it back...I can’t let you wait for me, hoping for something that might never come."
You shook your head in disbelief, stepping forward and grabbing his hand, the warmth of his skin grounding you. "Kinich, please. We’ve been through so much together, don’t push me away now."
His grip on your hand tightened for a brief moment before he slowly let go, stepping back as if creating more distance would make this easier for him. For both of you. "It’s because I love you that I have to do this," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I can’t bear the thought of you waiting for someone who might never return. You deserve better than that...better than me."
Your chest ached, each word cutting deeper than the last. "So that’s it? You’re breaking up with me because you’re scared?"
"I’m breaking up with you because I know what’s coming." His voice trembled as he spoke, and for the first time, you saw the cracks in his facade. He was terrified. "I don’t want you to be left with nothing but memories and pain."
You took a step back, the distance between you growing not just physically but emotionally. Your voice was barely a whisper when you spoke again. "And what about my choice? What if I’m willing to take that risk?"
Kinich looked away, his fists clenched at his sides. "I can’t let you make that choice," he said, his voice hoarse. "Because if something happens to me, it’ll destroy you. And I can’t live with that."
The silence that followed felt suffocating. The stars above seemed to watch, indifferent to your heartbreak. You wanted to scream, to shake him, to make him see that you didn’t care about the risk. But deep down, you knew that nothing you said would change his mind.
Tears finally spilled down your cheeks, and you wiped them away angrily, hating yourself for showing weakness. "Fine," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your breaking heart. "If that’s what you want."
Kinich’s face crumpled for a moment, the pain of his own decision visible in the way his shoulders hunched, the way his jaw clenched. He took one last look at you, his eyes filled with regret and sorrow. "I’m sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I’m so sorry."
And with that, he turned and walked away, his footsteps fading into the night, leaving you alone beneath the cold, uncaring stars. You stood there for what felt like an eternity, your heart shattered, the weight of his absence crushing you.
There was no going back now. He was gone, and you were left with nothing but the painful echoes of his goodbye.
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A/n: ngl I genuinely love the ending
© ²⁰²⁴ ɪᴏᴍᴏʀᴜ ✰ do not repost, translate, plagiarize, use to train ai, or share my work on other social media platforms.
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sh4wty18 · 5 months ago
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heyyyyy i was wondering if you could make a johnnie angst fic where he forgets your bday🫶🏼
you forgot my birthday.
pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader
summary: same as request with some bestie!jake moments
cw: angst, hurt no comfort, language
word count: 1.2k + edited
---
12:00 am. A text from Jake immediately lights up your screen:
jakey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!! i hope you have the best day ever! im so glad ur dating my bsf so WE could become bsfs!! ilysm go slay queen 💅
You smile and type out a response:
y/n: THANK U SO MUCH JAKE I <3 U!!!!! 
You put your phone on do not disturb for the night and roll over in bed, Johnnie hadn’t texted you for your birthday yet, but that was to be expected. He was a slow texter as it is, but he was usually busy streaming or playing music at this time anyway. There was still plenty of time for him to reach out.
10:36 am. You wake up and immediately check your texts. You’d received birthday messages from Carrington, Tara, your friends from home, been tagged in hundreds of posts on tiktok and instagram, even Matt texted you (and you’d only met him once!). But nothing from Johnnie. That’s okay. He was probably still asleep. Nothing to be worried about. 
1:48 pm. Nothing. What the fuck? All you wanted for your birthday was to spend a quiet day with your boyfriend. Unlike the other friends you’d made since moving to LA, you were less likely to choose partying over spending quality time with your loved ones. Not that there was anything wrong with partying, you just happened to be more reserved. Johnnie was more quiet and anxious as well, it was something that drew you to him in the first place. You always had someone to ditch social events with. You’d figured by this point he would have texted or called and wished you a happy birthday, then you’d hang out, watch a couple movies, order food in, birthday sex– the whole nine. But no. He'd said not a single word. You tried not to bring up your birthday often in the weeks leading up to it, so as to not annoy anyone, but you know for sure you’d mentioned your birth date at least twice since you’d been dating. He had zero excuse not to know. All the other important people in your life seemed to remember, so where was he?
5:24 pm. Nothing. 
7:58 pm. Nothing. You decide to call Jake and see if he has any insight into the situation. He picks up on the second ring.
“What’s up, birthday girl?” He asks sweetly. 
“Johnnie still hasn’t told me happy birthday. I think he forgot,” you say. Speaking the words out loud suddenly makes the situation feel way more real, and you feel a familiar lump forming in your throat.
“There’s no way. He couldn’t have. He’s been out all day, I haven’t really seen him. I think he’s doing a shoot for his next music video or something. So maybe he’ll text you when he’s done? I’m sorry, y/n, I wish I could help. If you need to be with someone, you know I’m always here.”
“Thanks, Jake, you’re a great friend. Love you.”
“Love you too, I’ll text you when he gets back.”
“Thanks. And Jake… don’t remind him when he gets back. It won’t be real unless he does it himself.” 
10:15 pm. Nothing. 
12:00 am. You type out a text to Johnnie:
y/n: you forgot my birthday
johnnie <3: It’s literally next month isn’t it?
johnnie <3: Y/n…plz tell me its next month 
y/n: i think i know my own birthday
johnnie <3: No no no no no
johnnie <3: Y/n im so sorry
johnnie <3: I know how u wanted to spend all day together on your birthday. I'm such an idiot. I promise it was an honest mistake. I really thought it was next month.
You don’t answer. At 12:43 am, you hear a knock at your door. He was the last person you wanted to see right now, but you knew he wouldn’t leave until you answered, so you reluctantly opened the door.
“Johnnie, I don’t want to see you–”
“Y/n, please. Please listen to me. I’m so so so sorry. I was busy with music video stuff and I spaced. I wasn’t on my phone all day so I swear, I didn’t see anyone’s birthday posts or anything until after you texted. You can ask Jake and Carrington, they were texting me all day and I never answered.”
“I believe you, Johnnie. And I get being busy, but… it’s just like… how do you forget your own girlfriend’s birthday? Do you know how embarrassing it is? To have all my friends, fans, and even acquaintances wish me a happy birthday, but the one person I really want to hear from doesn’t? It sucks. I felt like shit all day.” 
“I know. And being busy isn’t an excuse. There isn’t an excuse. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m so fucking sorry. If I could take it all back I would. I love you so much, y/n. I- I’m so fucking sorry,” Johnnie pleads, and his eyes start to well. 
You start to tear up as well, but you don’t want him to see you cry, don’t want to make him feel worse. You’re not angry with him, and you obviously still love him, you’re just sad. You can tell he means what he’s saying, it was definitely an honest mistake, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re hurt, and embarrassed, and had the worst birthday ever. 
“I know you are. And I love you, too. I just… I think I need some space for tonight. I’m sorry, Johnnie,” you say.
“Don’t apologize, baby. I’ll call you in the morning. I love you.” He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and turns to leave. 
You close the door behind him and sink to the floor. You pull your knees to your chest and bury your face in them, finally letting out your soft sobs after holding back tears all day. You pull your phone out of your back pocket and tap the call button under Jake’s name. 
“What’s wrong?” He asks immediately, knowing you’d never call this late unless there was an emergency.
“I need you,” you say, choking on your words between tears. 
“I’m coming over.” He hangs up.
Fifteen minutes later, he’s at your apartment. You’re sitting on the couch together, with you leaning your head against his shoulder and crying softly as he rubs your back.
“I saw Johnnie on my way out… he didn’t look so hot. I’m assuming this is about him?”
You sniffle, “He forgot. I can’t believe he really forgot. Sorry I'm crying, this is so stupid, I’m just… really fucking sad about it. I know he didn’t mean to, and he’s super sorry and stuff but–”
“Y/n, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Your emotions are completely valid. He’s your boyfriend, of course you’re gonna be upset that he forgot your birthday! It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, we still love Johnnie! But… he made a mistake and unfortunately it made you sad.” 
“I knew you’d understand,” you give him a weak smile, and he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into a tight side hug, resting his head on top of yours. 
“Of course. I’m here for you, y/n. Always.”
---
first hurt/no comfort fic in the books! (i'm sad)
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mirconreadzztuff22 · 10 months ago
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- “𝙼𝚛. 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗”
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Powder.
Jinx.
She caused more trouble than she could ever imagine.
If only she didn’t set off that bomb that day.
If only Sevika jumped in front of you instead of Silco.
It still haunts her to this day.
The sudden flash of blue, the shocked expression on Silco’s and your’s face.
She wishes it could have been her instead of you. Now, she has no one. Not someone she’s willing to be with, anyway. No one could replace your voice, your touch, your kisses, your smile, your love.
Being at The Last Drop didn’t feel the same without you, so she moved to a different space to play with her buddies.
When Silco brought Powder in, Sevika was still upset, not only for the lost of her arm, but because she lost you. She didn’t know Jinx was the culprit; well, until it slipped out. Sevika was livid. She lost one of the only people she loved, from some kid?
She wanted to beat the shit out of Jinx, but for obvious reasons, she never did.
All Sev could do was visit your gravestone, think about you and the past memories you two had. She tried to go to Babette’s to drown these feelings, but they never went away. The women there weren’t even close to being like you. After so long, she stopped and just continued working and working.
No matter how much Sevika masked her feelings, without a doubt, she missed you. She always has. No amount of masking could deny this.
If only things were different.
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theaudacitytowrite · 1 year ago
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I just called to say...
Dean Winchester x Reader
A/N: I think this fic shows my current state of mind quite well... so I think you guys get why I'm not able to write the fluffy fics that were supposed to be written months ago. I hope you can enjoy this one at least
Warnings: blood, injuries, character death (it's spn, duh!), hurt with no comfort
word count: 2.124
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Dean groaned when he was shaken out of his slumber as his phone vibrated somewhere next to him. He tapped around his nightstand annoyed as he tried to find the pesky device and turn it off. Whoever called could wait for him to get up in the morning. He peeked onto the display, blinking against the harsh display light as he was about to decline the call when he saw your face lighting up the screen.
You had walked over Dean’s path earlier that day. You were out on a hunt with a fellow hunter and the three of you caught up over lunch. Dean had needed a motel to stay over for a night since he was on the drive back to the bunker after a successful hunt further down south so you showed him the motel you were staying at before parting ways again.
Dean wondered why you'd call at this time and sighed deeply, answering the phone.
“It’s 3 in the morning. What is it Y/N?” he asked groggily. His voice sounded hoarse, rough, and tired but his demeanour quickly changed to worry when he heard your laboured breaths that you forced yourself to take.
“D-Dean...” your voice was only above a whisper as you replied shakily. But there was also relief. Relief that Dean had picked up. You had worried that he wouldn’t hear his phone since it took him a few rings before he had answered. When he answered with his hoarse voice and his usual sassy remark, you had to smile softly, your eyes closing as a tear ran down your cheek “...I ...I fucked up.” you wheezed strained.  
Suddenly all his usual snarkiness was nowhere to be heard; he was in his serious, caring, concerned mode now.
“What do you mean?" Dean asked confused, “Where are you?”
Your breaths were ragged, and Dean could tell that you were holding back tears and wails of pain.  
“...Randy and I-I,” you stammered, swallowing hard as you tried to hold yourself together, “We were... we went out to the woods.” you coughed and it sounded like you were choking, “It was an ambush.” you managed to press out, “Randy's... he didn't make it and as it looks like... I won't make it either.” you breathed out.
In an instant Dean had jumped out of bed, starting to dress himself hurriedly.
“I’ll come and get you.” Dean responded curtly, almost hanging up.
“No! Wait.” you croaked, “Don’t… don’t hang up. I... I don't wanna die alone.” 
“You’re not dying, Y/N!” Dean harshly responded but cooled down immediately as he took a deep breath. “Okay.” his voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke again, “I’ll stay on the phone with you but you’re not going to die. And you gotta tell me where you are.” Dean tried to stay calm for your sake as he hurried out to Baby. 
“Somewhere in the woods... maybe ten minutes from the motel.” you breathed heavily.
“I’m coming to you, Y/N. Hold on.” Dean uttered collected.
“Dean...” you sobbed, “...can you do something for me?”
“...yeah. What do you need?” Dean tried to keep his emotions at bay. He didn’t like the sound of your voice. It was getting quieter with each time you spoke. He didn’t waste another second and drove off towards the woods you and Randy had told about him earlier. 
“Tell Bobby...” you hiccupped, “Tell Bobby he was right. I'm an idiot.” you chuckled somberly. “And... tell Sam and Cas that I'm sorry... and I love all three of them.” you sniffled. 
“You can tell them this yourself.” Dean insisted. He felt his emotions start to build up as tears streamed down his cheeks. 
“Please.” you breathed shakily. ”Just promise me.”
Dean’s words were no longer above a whisper as he croaked. “I'll tell them.”
“Thank you... *you huffed heavily, trying to keep your breath steady as you lay on the cold forest ground, the knife in your chest hurting so damn much with every breath you took.
“Do you... do you remember that Summer in 1995?” you suddenly whispered into the phone.
“...Yeah?” Dean hummed as memories flooded his brain. He had no idea of where this was going but he was still curious and waiting for your next words.
“How we went to the beach that one night and sat eating smores till sunrise?” you chuckled, tears running down your cheeks. “We watched the stars...” you trail off. 
“...Yeah, I do remember that night.” Dean wasn't saying much because he didn't want to interrupt you, so he was mostly quietly listening and waiting for more. He wanted to keep you talking so he knew that you were still with him.
“I knew it then.” you sobbed cryptically, the rigid movement hurting you even more. “But I never said anything...” you gulp, “But I have to say something before... before I go…”
Dean swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat and was struggling to keep his voice steady when he spoke. “And what is that?”
 “I love you, Dean.” you breathed through the speaker, “I always have.” you sniffled, “And I'm sorry for telling you this now... but you know me. I always had bad timing.” you chuckle bitterly.
Dean swallowed hard as your words sank in. A flood of emotions filled his head like a wave from the ocean crashing to the shore. He was so speechless that he could barely respond “...yeah, y-you always had bad timing.” He finally answered though it was really just to have something to say.
You chuckled sadly and closed your eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks. Your breath became shallower with every breath and your voice started to fade out as you slowly began to slip in and out of conscience.
“D-Don't you dare leave me...” Dean uttered huskily. He grew more panicked with each passing second. He was scared and desperate. “D-Don't leave me...” He repeated, his voice growing more strained with each word. 
“Ok.” you sobbed weakly, knowing you couldn't do anything against it no matter how hard you tried. You felt your energy draining more and more as you began to shiver. 
“...where are you, Dean?” you asked almost inaudible when Dean’s line grew silent. You needed to hear his voice just for a moment longer. 
“I... I'm here...” Dean whispered back. His voice was shaky, unsteady, and heavy with pain as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. “You... you're not alone. Okay?” he repeated his earlier words almost in a begging tone.
“Thank you...” you whispered, slowly losing strength to hold up your phone to your ear. 
“You're welcome...” There was a long pause after that, and Dean was trying to stay calm for you but you could still hear him struggling to hold back more tears. “Hold on... Okay?” you could hear his voice break with another sob. 
“I... I don’t think I can that long anymore...” you croaked when you suddenly heard the faint sound of an engine and some lights started to creep up the hill. Dean perked up as he heard the noise of Baby reverb from your side of the line and his eyes widened. He suddenly sounded incredibly desperate, and his voice was pleading. “Come on, come on... Come on, come on. Please...” he was still speaking softly so as not to alarm you, but he was trying to be encouraging, hoping you'd hold on long enough to see him.
“Dean?” you asked almost elated, “Is... is that you?” you sobbed, “Or am I hallucinating?” 
“No, you're not hallucinating.” Dean's voice was surer and clearer when he spoke again, though the heavy emotion in his voice was still clearly present. “It's me, it's me. You're gonna be okay.” his voice was still quiet so as not to startle you, but a little louder than before.
You started sobbing audibly, a mix of hope, longing and desperation mixing as you heard Baby approach. It took an eternity until you heard her come to a halt and the doors opened and closed. You heard hurried steps rustling through the leaves and Dean’s voice calling out for you in the distance and over your phone.
“H-here...” you croaked as loud as you could, but it was still only a whisper.
Dean heard you and your words filled him with a rush of emotions. The tears still streamed down his cheeks as he ran around the trees following the sound of your voice. He got closer and closer until he reached you, kneeling by your side as he looked down at you. 
“Y/N.... Y/N...” the flood of feelings almost made his words unintelligible.
Dean saw the state you were in and it frightened him. Your skin was pale and dull, your lips chapped and your eyes half-lidded. You were covered in bruises and cuts, blood everywhere. You were cold to the touch aside from the bloody patch where a hunter knife stuck in your abdomen. 
“Dean...” you breathed out, barely able to focus your eyes on him but his touch was so familiar and soothing.
“Y/N...” Dean took your hand and squeezed it firmly, “Y/N...” he repeated, and his voice grew stronger and louder. “...don't go... please...” you could sense the desperation in his words, as well as the pain and anguish that was breaking out as Dean was desperately trying not to cry.
“I'm... I'm trying...” you huffed heavily, fighting against your eyes closing. “How did you find me?” you croaked out weakly. 
Dean swallowed a few times as the words struggled to come out of his mouth. “It... it doesn't matter... don't matter.” There was a long pause before he spoke again “Just...” another long pause and his tears kept falling, “...just hold on... okay?” He sniffled as he tried to come up with a plan of how to get you out of here and into the ER.
“Dean...” you weakly squeezed his hand, trying to get his attention back to you. 
“Y-yes?” he quivered, pulling your hand up to his cheek.
“It’s going to be alright,” you whispered almost inaudible. 
Dean felt his emotions break as he felt your soft hand on his cheek. A lump grew in his throat yet again as he fought back tears. There was another long pause before he spoke again. 
“It won’t... will it?” he whispered strained, his voice breaking slightly with the last word. You smiled bleakly, knowing he was right. 
“I love you...” you simply responded, your eyes starting to flutter.
You could hear his voice getting even more filled with distress as he couldn't hold the tears back anymore. “I... I love you, too...” he continued, not wanting to waste the last few moments you had before leaving this world. “I love you, Y/N... too...” he whispered as he squeezed your hand again, softly kissing the back of your hand. He hoped that you could still hear him and feel his love as your eyes had closed. For a moment a soft smile appeared on your lips before your face relaxed.
Dean felt a deep sense of guilt when he saw your relaxed expression. The tears still fell as he was struggling to hold your hand steady. “Don't go...” he repeated over and over again. He fell apart when your hand squeezed his faintly once more. He leaned over your body, softly pressing a kiss against your forehead. He could taste the dried blood mix with his tears.
Dean took in your last squeeze and he stayed next to you, his hand still holding yours for a while after he felt there was no more movement in your hand. He was still crying, too devastated to say anything else.
As he started to pull himself together, his voice had become hoarse. It was weak and barely above a whisper. “...Y/N...” Another long pause spread as he took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. “...Y/N, you ain't ever gonna believe this.”
He took a moment to gather himself again. He took in a shaky breath and continued, hoping that the last of your consciousness could hear his words in the afterlife at least. “...Y/N, I always knew that you were an idiot,” he said with the barest touch of humour as he smiled through his tears. He took a moment and then spoke again. “...but... you've always been my idiot.” His breath grew shaky again and his eyes were filled with more tears, but the smile was still there as he spoke. Another tear fell from his eyes as he forced himself to chuckle through his sadness as he sat there with you until the sun began to rise.
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Sooo... what do y'all say? Hope it wasn't too bad for a first Dean Fic.
Taglist: @hellowgoodbye @tommie-gvf @loz-3
Divider by @talesmaniac89
You can also read it on my [AO3]
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