#i will be at a conference for like 4 days so wont be able to watch it for a while

[idnek83]

Service With a Smile 3/?

Fandom: Trigun

Rating: Explicit (eventually)

Pairing: Vash/Wolfwood

Tags: Coffee shop au, Vash owns a cafe, Wolfwood is a mystery man, Trans Vash, Getting together, Fluff, Slow burn, Eventual smut, Recreational drug use, Drinking, Vash is self conscious about his scars, afab language

Summary: Vash works at a little coffee shop known as Seeds Cafe,  and likes to make his days more interesting by trying to make each of  his customers smile or laugh at least once before they leave. He has a 100% success rate... That is, until one day a moody man with a taste for cigarettes and black coffee shows up...

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Read on Ao3

_____________________

It’s about 30 minute before close and Vash keeps glancing at the door between cleaning glasses. Logically he knows that just because Mr. Grumpy came in around this time yesterday, it doesn’t mean he’ll be back, but he can’t seem to stop himself from looking up at every little noise, hoping to see the man’s scowl coming through his door.

The minutes pass by agonizingly slow, but the door remains closed.

When 8 o’clock rolls around without anyone coming in, Vash lets out a disappointed sigh and flips over Seeds’ open sign.

-

Vash flops face first onto his bed, ignoring the way the bed frame groans and creaks in protest.

Even if he spent most of the day doing nothing, working 14 hour shifts at his cafe still takes a lot out of him, and he’s always more than content to immediately pass out as soon as he gets home.

As if to spite him, his phone vibrates.

He grumbles and shifts enough to grab it from where he’d tossed it on his side table. When the screen lights up he’s hit with a wave of conflicting emotions.

He has a text from his brother, Nai.

He considers ignoring it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk with his brother, it’s more that their relationship is... complicated, and he isn’t sure if he can handle all the heavy emotions that generally come along with their conversations right now.

Despite himself, he unlocks his phone to see what Nai sent him.

      Hope you're well. I’m departing for Stockholm soon.

Vash vaguely recalls Nai mentioning something about an upcoming conference in Stockholm last time they spoke on the phone, but for the life of him can’t recall what it was for.

Nai’s job has always confused Vash, but he could best be described as... an entrepreneur? Or maybe a business tycoon? From what Vash understands he basically owns a lot of business and makes money by... giving them money and then taking a cut of the profits later?

At first he had been worried his brother was some kind of loan shark, but after a lengthy explanation, during which Vash nodded a lot and understood very little, his brother had assured him that was not the case.

And Vash is mostly sure he can trust him.

He isn’t really in a place to question him at the very least, considering Nai is the only reason Vash was able to open Seeds in the first place.

Vash sighs. Just send Nai something light and move on. If he’s getting on a plane soon he wont have time to inquire into every facet of Vash’s life and inevitably (if accidentally) make him feel awful about himself anyways.

      I’m good! Have fun in Stockholm! : )

Vash waits, part of him hoping he took too long and Nai is already on the plane, while the rest of him feels guilty for hoping that.

      This is a business trip. Not a vacation.

Vash feels his stomach sink. Right. Business. No fun allowed. Vash should know better. He tries to think of an appropriate response but his phone vibrates again before he comes up with anything.

      But I suppose I can try.

It makes him smile, but then for some reason his throat gets tight and he suddenly fells like he’s going to cry. He types up a quick response before his vision blurs too heavily.

      Yay! :D

He rolls onto his back and lets a few tears roll down his cheeks. He hates that he’s like this. He hates that he isn’t a better brother. Nai does so much for him and yet Vash can barely manage to even talk to him without having some kind of emotional breakdown.

Nai just makes him feel... too much. He’s thankful, and he loves him, and he misses him, but he’s also angry, and jealous, and knows he’s not worthy of being the twin of someone so completely perfect. He’s ashamed. He wishes Nai was ashamed of him too. Nai gave up so much for him and all Vash has to show for it is a tiny apartment and a cafe that’s just barely staying afloat.

He hates relying on Nai any more than he absolutely needs to. It’s why he works so much at Seeds. Why he’s only hired 2 part-time employees, even though it means he works 70 hours a week.

Vash closes his eyes and encourages his thoughts to stray away from his brother and his guilt.

They land on his part-timers.

Meryl and Milly are both wonderful. He had hired Meryl first, she was a regular who would often come to Seeds to study or work on homework, and Vash had always enjoyed her visits. Then one day she had offhandedly mentioned looking for part-time work, and Vash decided pretty much that instant that he wouldn’t mind a little extra help during mornings and weekends.

A few weeks after hiring Meryl, she asked if Vash would consider hiring someone else as well, insisting he worked way too much and that he looked so tired most days that Meryl was certain it was only a matter of time before he accidentally poured scalding hot coffee on someone's face. Vash had relented, saying he could probably afford to hire another part-timer to cover the mornings Meryl couldn’t work, but Meryl insisted he have them work weekends too, so that Vash could actually have days off. He had been opposed to it at first, he already felt bad about taking Meryl’s weekends away from her, but Meryl had argued that no one would take a job that only offered a handful of morning hours, so Vash eventually agreed to give up his weekend shifts.

He had left hiring to her, saying he didn’t have the money to advertise an opening, and he’d be happy to just hire one of her friends if she knew anyone looking for work.

Two days later, she brought in a girl nearly as tall as Vash, and just as broad.

Milly is an absolute delight, Vash has never met someone so polite who also managed to have a great sense of humour and take absolutely no shit from anyone who even thinks about being rude around her.

Apparently Meryl had met her at an orientation event for their college, and when Meryl had mentioned not being able to see the stage, Milly had simply scooped he up and put her on her shoulders. After that they got to talking, realized they were both majoring in journalism, and had been inseparable ever since.

Vash had immediately taken a liking to Milly, and welcomed her to Seeds with open arms.

Still though, the first Saturday the girls had worked on their own, Vash came in 3 separate times before they banned him from visiting his own store on weekends. Milly literally carried him out, lifting him up under his arms like a child and placing him outside, before scolding him for not taking time for himself.

It had been months since then, and he still never really knew what to do with his weekends.

Mostly he sat around his apartment, slept, and occasionally got high. He didn’t really have the money to be going out to bars every weekend so...

When was the last time he’d gone out? It had to have been more than a month ago... maybe two?

His thoughts flicker back to the image of Mr. Grumpy, clothes rumpled, obviously exhausted, smelling of booze, and likely on his way back from a one night stand.

God. When was the last time he’d slept with somebody?

Vash starts counting backwards, but gives up when he realizes it’s been longer than he wants to admit.

It’s not that he has trouble finding partners on the rare occasions he does go out. He knows he has a pretty face and a body that easily catches people’s eyes on the dance floor, and he isn’t against using that to his advantage.

No, the problem usually comes after the bar, when the clothes start coming off and his partners get a look at the mess of scar tissue that makes up his body.

That was usually the point people started conveniently deciding they were too tired for a hookup, or remembered they had to work early the next morning, so would he mind leaving actually?

The last time he had actually gotten laid, the guy had insisted he only ever fucked in complete darkness, and had not just turned off the lights, but made sure to close the blinds to stop any light from coming in.

He’d conveniently brought this up right after Vash took off his shirt.

Vash can’t really hold it against anyone though. He knows what he looks like.

Sometimes he can’t even bare to look at himself...

Vash heaves a deep sigh, rubs his face and tries to shake himself out of his pity party.

Even if he doesn’t go home with anybody, the idea of just going out to dance still sounds like it could be fun. He’s been cooped up in his apartment and at work for too long, and as long as he has a few drinks at home first, a night out shouldn’t set him back too much.

He remembers hearing about a new bar opening up not too far away. One of the employees had come in and asked if they could put a flyer up on his shop’s bulletin board last week, and he thinks it’s probably still there. He'll have to take a look tomorrow. He hadn’t paid that much attention to it at the time, but he’s pretty sure he saw a rainbow flag on the flyer, which was good news if he does end up finding someone to... maybe not sleep with, he doesn’t think he can deal with another rejection right now, but maybe just make out with? Get a little handsy with?

Either way, if it’s a gay bar that means his pool of potential partners isn’t limited to just women, and at the moment he’s kind of craving someone big, and broad, maybe with dark hair, a bit of stubble, big hands, nice pecs...

Vash falls asleep to thoughts of drinking and dancing, the scent of cigarettes lingering somewhere in the back of his mind.

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[compassionatereminders]

hi kat. currently on like a retreat, i guess? i was invitied to this conference thing in DC for a week. im a high schooler, we all just listen to big journalists talk and go in groups around DC. its day 2 out of 7, and i guess i feel a little lonely. im not sure how to approach people or how to start conversations. i like making friends and talking to people but im bad at initiating. i ate breakfast alone, playing sudoku. it was nice, but also lonely. i made a friend that i met at the airport since she was going to the same place, and that was cool. we hung out for 4 hours since our plane was so early. but shes in a different group than i am and i havent been able to talk to anyone that much yet inside mine. it feels like everyone already has a group of friends. im just a little melancholy. im still going to enjoy this trip, but i hope i wont feel this lonely the entire time.

Honestly, just put something genuine out there. Make a comment. Share something about yourself. Articulate an opinion. Ask someone a question. I know it can be hard, but if you offer something and put yourself out there in a kind manner, an interesting conversation probably isn't far away. You gotta decide to risk the awkwardness of letting yourself be more than an observer of other people's conversations and it can be both scary and hard - but often someone will catch you halfway

[mxchellesworld]

matthew and degradation/spit play 👀🥵

a/n; lol i was looking through my inbox and this stuck out to me because yall know i love my spit kink, anywhooo hope yall enjoy this 

warnings; degradation, spitting, daddy kink, oral (male receiving) 

to say you were being a brat earlier that day was an understatement. during filming you spent the day flirting with everyone on set. and while usually it was good nature chummy fooling around, matthew knew exactly what you were doing. you were trying to get under his skin. 

everyone else thought you were just being extra touchy. who could blame you, they’re all hot and you’re close friends. it started off with shemar and feeling on his muscles. during breaks you would all try to take pictures. one in particular was him with his shirt pulled up. all the girls, kirsten, paget, aj, and yourself were all gathered around pretending to gawk at him. though you took the artistic liberty of leaning forward and stick your tongue out as if you were liking his stomach. 

everyone got a laugh out of it and you were called back to film from your break. matthew gave you a look from across the set. it was a fake scowl before he changed into his usual smile. he’d get in on the picture too so he wasn’t that upset. then you kept escalating. 

you were filming a scene in the conference room where paget was standing next to you. the button down she was wearing had a stain above her chest and you pointed it out for the dressing crew to try and fix. 

quickly she made a comment which perfect for you to match her energy. 

“god y/n get a view checking for that stain,” she said with a smirk. 

“i was actually trying to be a good friend and cast mate but if you wanna give me a show i wont say no,” you winked.

“ditch noodle boy over there and you got yourself a deal.”

everyone around you groaned or hooted at the comment. again matthew looked at you with a little more of that angry look in his eyes. you smiled at him innocently and looked back at paget fidling with the bleaching pen they gave her to fix the stain. 

at this point he was able to put the dots together and see what you were doing. though he decided to keep his calm and act like he wasn’t upset at what you were doing. he wanted to see what length you would go to just for his attention. 

he found out while you guys were filming on the ‘jet’. you were sat in the 4 seater next to him with thomas and aj across from you. you were going over victimology in the case so matthew was giving one of his long facts, in the meantime you decided to let your hand drift onto his thigh. he tried to seem unphased and cleared his throat but kept on going. 

you upped the pressure and gave his leg a squeeze before slowing trailing your fingers up to where his dick was resting. biting your lip you tried not to let your smile show at how the redness was spreading from his neck to his ears. 

while you thought you were being sneaky thomas had noticed and had a small hotch-like smirk on his face. once matthew was in the middle of reading off a long number he spoke up, “reid, thats enough and agent y/l/n no more fooling around under the table this is a cbs show for christ sake.” 

everyone looked over to you guys and started laughing. the director yelled cut and everyone took a deep breath to redo the scene. 

“y/n no foolery this time,” thomas said in his scolding hotch voice.

“say no more daddy,” you said before taking putting on your acting face.

you heard matthew let out a sigh next to you. you could tell he was trying his best to keep this mix of anger and arousal contained until after the day was over. 

since it was the last scene of the day once you were all wrapped you made your way into your trailer. You stepped out of the heels and pulled off your belt to get comfy. there was a knock on your door which pulled you out of your thoughts. once you unlocked it matthew wasted no time in whipping the door open and putting his hand in the back of your head. he grabbed a handful of hair and brought you down to your knees. 

you looked ahead and were met with a face full of his hard cock trapped within his dress pants. he tilted your head up and made you look into his eyes. the usual caramel was gone and replaced with lust blown pupils. 

“you know i don’t like bratty girls y/n,” the way gritted out your name went straight to your pussy. 

“im sorry daddy,” you said with a pout. you really weren’t but you knew egging him on would just result in you not being able to sit for a few days. 

“oh now you wanna be nice and call me that? maybe i should call thomas in here? im sure he’d love to see his sweet little y/n on her knee’s like the whore she truly is,” he said leaning down, inches away from your face. 

you whimpered at his words, trying to pull your face closer to his. you could smell his minty toothpaste and were dying to taste it on his lips. he pulled back and used his unoccupied hand to undo his belt. 

“dirty whores don’t deserve anything other than my cock in their mouth. do you understand?” he roughly let go of your hair and looked at you expectantly. knowing what he wanted you replied as your hands went to unbutton his pants, “i understand daddy.”

he kept his scrutinizing gaze down on you as you pulled down his briefs and pumped his cock a few times. trying not to tease him you licked a stripe up to the tip before taking him in your mouth. 

he let out a sigh as he let you set a pace at first. he was being generous instead of forcing himself down your throat like he would later. 

“fuck just like that baby. such a perfect mouth.” he said breathlessly. 

you hummed around him and he took it as a sign to get rougher. he let both of his hands go to the back of your head as he started to thrust into your mouth. 

“god you’re such a whore. i bet you’d let anyone on set just use you how i am right now.”

you moaned around him, causing him to let out a groan from the added stimulation. you tried to sneak your hand down to rub against your pants. it wasn’t much but you needed something, anything to try and gain some friction. he caught on and let go of your head on one side, ripping your hand out from between your legs. 

“sluts like you don’t deserve any kind of pleasure until daddy decides they deserve it. you’re gonna let me cum down your throat then we’re gonna go home and maybe just maybe ill decide if you get to cum.”

you nodded around him and let him set his pace again. you felt your throat getting sore as he kept on thrusting. he started to falter and throb in your mouth signaling his incoming release. he pulled your head all the way down to where your nose was against his pelvis as he spilled his load down your throat. 

he pulled his cock out of your mouth as you swallowed, the salty tears running down your face surly trailed your mascara and eyeliner. 

you looked up at him with big eyes, eager to do anything which would gain you a release later tonight. he smiled down at you sweetly which was a huge contrast from his previous actions and what he was about to do. 

he used his thumb to wipe away the streaks and tucked some of your hair behind your ear, “i think you deserve a reward princess.” 

the same thumb trailed on your swollen lips, “open and swallow it,” he said before spitting right onto your tongue. 

you happily complied and watched as he tucked himself back into his pants. 

“thank you daddy.” 

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 4

photo credit - @ssa-emilyhotchner​

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader 

warnings - canon typical criminal minds, stalking, angst. pretty tame chapter 

summary - “I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent.

a/n - hi besties. so this chapter is p short compared to the last one, i had like  7k something chapter 4 and it just didnt feel right, BUT that means chapter 5 is basically done i just need to edit it soooooooooooo hopefully wont take a long time lol! enjoy, heart yall forever 

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3 

chapter 3 / chapter 5 

-----

The rest of the team was left in various levels of shock. Everyone was struggling to process the bomb of information that had just been revealed. With hindsight, it was easy to connect the strange levels of tension and intimacy that radiated between you and Hotch. What was more difficult to swallow, was the new understanding that Hotch had been keeping this secret for nearly five years. Random ‘trips’ that Hotch would take out of state or the subtle sprinkles of wealth showing up in the form of gifts suddenly made sense. 

This was completely uncharted territory for the entire team. Given Hotch’s history, it wasn’t too difficult to understand how protective he may be of any relationships post-Haley; but the magnitude of your relationship- both in terms of your status as well as length-, and the withholding of information even on the case was a different form of betrayal that couldn’t be kicked under the rug. 

Hotch had always been one of the fiercest advocates for unity, truth and an equal playing field when it came to information concerning a case,- Morgan was still feeling second hand embarrassment for Jordan- for him to be the one to hold back such influential info was difficult to fully wrap their heads around. Anger, of course, was felt and there would certainly be time for that anger- not even getting started on the amount of questions everyone was bound to have-, but as the team was silently processing, they all reached similar conclusions. Hotch was displaying a softness and side of him they hadn’t seen in a very long time and they wouldn’t let their valid frustrations get in the way of solving this case. 

Morgan was the first to speak, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I need to text Garcia about this.” He said, shaking the phone a bit. Everyone managed to laugh at that, all certain that Garcia would have the most interesting reaction to the news.  

“You know…, the other day when she was giving me a tour of her house, I pointed out a bottle of Dalmore 25 she had on the wall. She got really weird about it and I thought she was trying to play modest, but this, this makes a lot more sense.” JJ remarked lightheartedly. 

“So now we know Hotch has some game then, huh?” Morgan quipped, a large grin on his face. When everyone just stared blankly back at him, even more confused than they already were he continued. “Do you all not remember when he ‘magically’ got a bottle of Dalmore 45, those start at twelve grand” 

Reid was about to open his mouth and add to the conversation, but just as the words were leaving his mouth Hotch stormed back into the conference room. One hand was tightly balled in a fist while the other was gripping his phone. 

“She’s not answering her phone. Three times, it went straight to voicemail.” 

“She isn’t on set today, when she left this morning she told me she had work related errands to run.” Emily recounted, racking her brain for any more info about your whereabouts. 

Hotch strode over to an open laptop at the edge of the table, quickly hitting a series of buttons until a very flustered Garcia appeared on screen; her mouth dropping open when she saw Hotch. 

“Questions later Garcia,” Hotch opened, already anticipating that someone Derek would have informed her of the latest news, “I need you to track Y/N. I want her current and last location.” 

“Yes sir! I uh, I will do that right now for you.” Garcia responded, clearly doing her best to hold back the hoard of questions and comments she had. The sound of her vigorously typing filled the room. “Alright sir, so the bad news is that it looks like her phone is currently turned off, but! The last place it pinged at was outside of Chateau Marmont about three hours ago. Which for those of you who don’t know this place is notorious for being the A-lister hideaway-” 

“Garcia, do a wide search for her name and location for today’s date. Check to see if there’s been any media sightings on her whereabouts.” Hotch ordered. He hadn’t forgotten how uneasy it had made him once he found out how easy it was to locate you. Paparazzi were a different form of ruthless and he’d never realized how difficult it actually was for people in the spotlight until he met you. 

“Let me see…, yes sir you are right! I’m getting a bunch of hits of her entering the-” Garcia’s sentence falling off with an ‘oh’. 

“Garcia, what’d you find?” 

A headline popped up on the screen. 

“Emma Co-Stars Pictured Together Out At Lunch: Has The Love Moved Past The Screen?” 

Underneath, multiple photos of you quickly loaded. There you were, cheerily standing next to your co-star, looking up at him with a big grin on your face. The photos showed the two of you in different positions as you made your way inside. A few of him as he opened the car door for you. One of you with your arm wrapped loosely around his while you walked up the door. One of you ducking under his arm as you entered the restaurant. 

The tension in the room was palpable as everyone did their own mini attempt at profiling the photo. It was difficult, you’d clearly proven to be a great actress and they knew you were capable of manipulating your outward emotions. It was even more difficult considering it was just a handful of mediocre quality photos. 

Hotch was tightly gripping the edge of the table, forcing himself to keep a level head. He knew it was unreasonable to get angry over the idea of you with another man, but it didn’t help the pang in his heart as he recognized the genuine signs of happiness you were emitting. 

“JJ,” Hotch said, voice dangerously calm, “call the restaurant and have them discreetly tell Y/N that ‘Andi’ is calling her.” Discretion was the highest priority for him, the envelope being even further confirmation that the unsub was closely trailing you. The last thing he wanted to do was either trigger a violent reaction or cause him to go underground.

Back when the two of you had been together, out of an abundance of caution, you used to refer to Aaron as ‘Andi’ in public. You hated not being able to thank him in speeches or mention him in any capacity, so this had been your best way around it. 

“Yes sir.” JJ responded, quickly moving out of the room to make the phone call. 

“Garcia, do you have any leads on the kid that dropped off the envelope?” Hotch asked. 

“No sir. The car he left in was reported stolen a few days ago with no leads as to where it went. Camera feeds loose the car about three blocks away and his face was too obstructed to get any hits that way.” 

“Alright, once JJ comes back with confirmation Y/N’s gotten the message, I’m going to pick her up. I want the rest of you to work with Garcia and categorize these photos. Cross reference whatever you can to get a timeline.” Hotch ordered, the rest of the team not being to be told twice. 

-----

“Where the hell are you?” Aaron demanded. 

Even through the phone, you could tell he was absolutely seething. It was bad, by the time you had picked up the phone you’d amassed a total of twenty texts and nearly ten missed calls from Aaron; not even mentioning the individual missed calls you had from each member of the team. It was bad, but in your defense it had been less than an hour from the first missed call to your current response. 

What could you say? You were big on not being on your phone when you were spending time with friends. 

“What do you mean, where the hell am I,” you answered, rolling your eyes as you leaned up against one of the private bathroom countertops. “How did you describe it before Agent? I’m very in ‘demand’.”

You could hear him groan through the phone and wondered if he was running his hands over his face; something he used to always do when you were being difficult; he absolutely was. 

“Y/N-” 

“I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent. As you were debating whether or not you should add the part about it being a publicity date, Aaron’s voice came through. 

“End it. I’m picking you up. The drive there from the station shouldn’t be more than 30 minutes.” Aaron said, his voice dangerously even. 

“I’m perfectly capable of getting back to the station on my own Agent. I don’t need you stirring up an absolute scene-”

“Y/N,” he started, voice commanding in a way that told you he was serious, “a package was delivered to the station today. Filled with hundreds of photos of you over the years,” he paused again and you could hear him take a deep breath before continuing, “there’s photos of us in there. The unsub knows.” 

You went silent, mouth opening over and over, unable to find anything to say. You had always envisioned a world where you and Aaron were some sort of ‘public’ knowledge, but never like this, obviously never like this. 

“Y/N, I need to come get you,” Hotch said, his voice much softer now, “I can’t-, I need to see that you’re safe.” 

“I’ll make something up,” You said quickly, before adding, “there’s a private valet area, I’ll send you the instructions to get past the gates and I’ll let the security know you’re coming to pick me up.” 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, don’t draw any attention to yourself.” And with that he hung up, leaving you stunned in the bathroom. You gripped the edges of the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror. You wished you could stay in the bathroom for hours, desperately needing some time to privately process what Aaron had told you. 

That wasn’t in the cards for you though, so you quickly did some pointless attempts at ‘straightening’ your appearance- more for your benefit than anything else- before you turned the lock and left back for your table 

You slipped back into your seat across from your friend and co-star Johnny. 

“Your friend alright?” Johnny asked. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you said with a small smile, “she’s fine. But my Agent called me when I was in there, she apparently managed to set up some last minute FBI consult to help me prep for an audition I have coming up. According to her, she ‘pulled a lot of strings for this’.” You said, rolling your eyes. The lie sliding out of your mouth with ease. “Whoever this FBI dude is, is supposed to come pick me up right about,” you looked down at your phone, “now apparently. So I guess our little date has to end early.” You said, giving him an exaggerated sad pout. 

Johnny rolled his eyes at that, giving you a small laugh. The two of you were both equally uninterested, romantically, in each other. But you did get along quite well, so being ‘forced’ into hanging out with each other outside of filming wasn’t bad; you’d probably hang out outside of filming anyway 

“No worries, we still on for running lines later tonight?” He asked. 

You thought for a moment, before nodding. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now, help me flag down the waiter, I want to get one last drink in before I go.” 

-----

About twenty minutes later you found yourself waiting out in the private courtyard of the restaurant. You were doing your best to calm your nerves, this being the first opportunity you had to try and process what Aaron had told you. You should’ve seen it coming, if the stalker was so obsessed with you, he must’ve noticed Aaron in your life at some point. But you had been so careful. 

Then the other obvious thing hit you. His team knew. You were wondering how the team had taken the news when you saw the black SUV come into view. Aaron quickly stopped the car in front of you and before you could move to open the passenger door yourself, he was out of his seat in a flash, coming over to where you were standing. 

For a moment you were both silent. You felt tiny under his unrelenting gaze, his eyes scanning your entire being as he ensured himself you were okay. 

Without thinking, you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist, ensnaring his arms tight to his side. As soon you realized what you did, you were internally kicking yourself, moving to loosen your arms nearly as fast as you had put them there.

“Aaron I-” 

Before you could finish your attempted apology, Aaron had pulled his arms from under yours and repositioned them around you, pulling you tightly against him. Your head naturally fit perfectly under his and you took in a deep breath, letting his scent surround you. It was cliche, but you both were thinking about how perfectly your bodies melded against each other.  

You felt his hand rest gently on the back of your head, gently stroking down your hair in a steady rhythm. “I got you.” He whispered, so quiet you nearly didn’t hear it. 

You pulled your head back so you could look up at him. “I’m scared.” You said, admitting it aloud for the first time.  

Aaron was staring hard down at you, his face soft. “I know,” he started, moving a piece of hair away from your face, “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” 

You nodded at that, missing his warmth when he started to pull away from you. He kept a protective hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the passenger seat. He opened the door and helped you in, gently shutting the door behind you. As soon as your door was shut he wasted no time in getting in the driver's seat, starting the car up again. With a quick check to make sure your seatbelt clicked was in, Aaron peeled out of the parking lot. 

A few floors above the courtyard, in one of the private hotel rooms, a curtain was angrily thrown shut. 

-----

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no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

[purvishraick]

A TALE OF ALWAYS AND FOREVER

CHAPTER 7

Fanfiction : Bloodbound (Choices)

Pairing : Adrian Raines x Amy Richard Parker (MC)

Warning : none

Rating: Teen

TAG LIST : @otherworldlypresents ​  , @evelynistic ​   , @silma-words ​ , @fireycookie , @lauren-raines-x , @nala-raines

If anyone wanna be tagged in future do let me know….

read previous chapter here ….. Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6

So here i promised this last night but sorry it got delayed ...got stuck in some important work .... now here i am .... i hope u like it

Amy had to forcefully cut the call, in order to shut her brother and she new that this will make him angry. But she didn’t need a pep talk for not getting wasted in the club before her interview. She could handle her brother afterwards and the interview was important. She wandered here and there and settled on the bench. She felt like she is being watched from behind but didn’t find someone. Just then a stunning woman with an icy demeanor came towards her.

“Amy?” stern woman said .

“ yes that’s me “ she replied .

“I am Nicole Anderson, VP of operations at Raines Corp. I will interview you . “ she said .

Amy was surprised to see that she was going to be interviewed by someone so high at post but her queries were eased when she reminded her that they take their hiring process very seriously and she followed her in the conference room keeping her confident look .

“ now then. The Raines Corporation is a global leader in technology and innovation . Why exactly are you interested in being the executive assistant to our CEO ? “

“well…” Amy took a deep breath and continued , “ I’d love to help make the world a better place . what I admire most about the Raines Corporation is your dedication to global innovation and improvement. The clean – water initiative …the vaccine for the cerella virus …the green energy project… you guys aren’t just getting rich. You’re trying to help people, to make technology that’ll save the planet. I can’t think of anything better than being a part of that.”

“hmm……a good answer. A bit cloying , perhaps, but Adrian might actually like that “ Nicole said with an appreciative look.

Just as she was going to speak the next thing , the door at the back of the room swings open , and a handsome man in a perfectly – tailored suit strolls in.

Intelligence sparks through his eyes . He was extremely charming , with his black obsidian eyes assessing her , her already killer nervousness now peaked a whole new level.

“ Adrian I wasn’t expecting you…” Nicole asked unable to hide the surprise in her voice .

Adrian as in Adrian Raines …well all escalated very quickly for her .

“ I had a free minute. Is this the candidate ?” he asked taking the authority in his hands as he decided.

Professionalism and seriousness reflected in his voice .

“ yes …but I’ve just started the interview and—“ Nicole asked stammering .

“ I’ll take over from here “ he cut her off not wanting to take any excuses .

“……of course sir , go right ahead “ she surrendered .

Adrian sat across Amy , eyes burning right through her . He has never seen such a beautiful person in his entire existence , god knows how would she be as a person .

Amy’s nervousness grew even more when his eyes bore through her but she remembered once more , she is Amy Richard Parker and nothing in this world ever scares her , she remembered her brothers’ advices on professionality and confidence and recalled her dad’s proud thought about her and her mother’s loving smile . Now that was enough to calm her down , so she put on the brave and fearless smile again on her face and straightened her back.

“ Amy , is it ? “ Adrian looked at her and saw her hazel brown eyes which her so hypnotizing , with all his strength he prevented himself from being lost in them .

“ that’s right “ she said interrupting his thoughts .

“ tell me Amy , what do you desire ? “ he asked her and she was surprised at the question .

Amy was already so mesmerized from him that this question surprised her.

“ You mean ……why do I want this job ? Because I – “ but was interrupted by Adrian .

“ I didn’t ask why you want this job. I asked what do you desire . “ he asked seriously and professionally.

“ I desire ……PASSION “ she answered after thinking fir a while .

“ oh , really ? “ he asked , his brows raising , he was in true sense intrigued by her answer .

“Sorry , if that is too personal but I am just being honest . I want to feel deeply. I want to experience life , live every moment like my last. We never know when is our last moment , it is better to live our life to the fullest than to regret it afterwards . That’s what I desire “ she answered honestly and it was the true answer she saw what happened to her family everything was good and happy then suddenly they lost everything , she do not want to regret anything .

“ I can relate“ Adrian was impressed internally but didn’t expressed it. He supressed a smile to reach his face. He was truly impressed by her desire to live and feel and experience. He now looked at her resume .

“ lets see here … graduated college 3 years ago …masters in communication …interned at Mannon financial…volunteered in San Torbida and France abroad for a year “ he read out and again was impressed from her but wondered why it took her an extra year to sign up for this interview or for that matter any other one .

“ yep that’s right “ she said .

“ well , how was that tell me in three words “ he asked .

“ difficult. Enlighting. Rewarding. “ she replied easily .

“ good , this job can be challenging and unpredictable , are you comfortable running unusual errands ?”

“Absolutely “

I have been doing them since a long time now , she thought to herself , smiling .

“ Handling confidential information ? “

“ I can keep a secret “

You wont even realise how many I am keeping right now too , she thought again and smirked .

“ Working nights ? “

“ Always been a night owl “

Okay , I atleast told him one thing fully without strings attached , she smiled while thinking .

“ Good , Anything else I should know about you ? “

“ Hmmmm …… I have got WORLD CLASS people skills “ , she said with a proud smile .

“ Oh , really ? “ he asked with questioning eyes .

“ I was voted ‘ most likable ‘ in my high school class . Also ‘ most popular ‘ and ‘ best smile ‘ . Technichally you are not supposed to win in multiple categories , but I was able to persuade them . And also the cherry on the top I was the PROM QUEEN “ , she stated out all of her achievements proudly and remembered how happy and proud her father was to see her that day . She and her brothers has always been the brightest in the whole family , anyways. Suddenly feeling nostalgic and tears building in her eyes she averted her gaze on the floor.

“ Thus proving your point “ said a grinning and impressed Adrian , but he saw a glint of sadness in her eyes and he doubted that he saw tears too , and was unable to understand why counting her proud moments made her sad .

“ exactly” Amy said after controlling her emotions and forcing a smile.

“ one more question “ Adrian leaned forward hands folded on the table and with an intense expression , told her the story of a man who got a genie lamp and destroyed everything , and then finally asked her about what should his final wish should be .

“I think his final wish should be to undo his first two wishes “ she said after thinking for a while .

“because ?” Adrian asked curious to know her theory .

“ because he already had everything he could ask for a family and many friends …what could he ask for more it was more than enough …all he wanted or ever needed was right there in front of him …this is a story of temptation and greed …he should have never played this game …all now he can do is making things as they were before “

Her answer was something totally honest … Adrian glanced at her and then noticed how true each and every word was . she was not only beautiful but also quite intelligent …in true sense beauty with brains.

She was quite interesting too …Adrian personally never saw such a person in his entire life … and he needed to know her …he knew that it is a huge risk and a mistake but he already did that when he decided to interview her himself …now he couldn’t resist her … so then he does the only thing he could do …he knew that Nicole will be a big trouble after this but guess he was okay with that if it was what would keep this girl around .

Then he grins brightly at Amy and says

“ You’re hired “

“wait what ? …seriously “ Amy asked with wide eyes , she was surprised , how in world is it possible that someone gets hired so fast …this was weird to her … but of course she was happy .

Adrian left an inside giggle watching her surprised reaction …she looked adorable with those wide eyes …his smile grew even wider … and he extends his hand …which obviously she took .

‘ oh my god …his skin is impossibly smooth…and hold so firm …wow he is really handso-……no no no …stop brain stop thinking …no eyes …don’t look in his eyes for too long … fuck …, I am a disaster …stop cheeks don’t turn red …god please ‘ she thought .

Good god if god wanted to kill her please kill her in this exact moment …someone save her from this embarrassment …she was a disaster with wide eyes blushing cheeks …FUCK.

Adrian saw her flustered reaction which was by far the cutest thing he saw in his life … his vampire senses made her blushing cheeks clearly visible …the dark pink tint on her cheek made her impossibly adorable.

“welcome to Raines Corporation “ , he said with a bright smile

They made eye contact for just moment but everything stood still for that particular moment …it was mesmerising .

In that moment Adrian didn’t knew about Amy but he knew that they were going to go a long way .

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@choicesficwriterscreations

[jpegjade]

Mr. Loverman (Pt. 3)

Alright frens and ferns. we’re gonna go through this shorter chapter. Still like 3 google docs pages but my fics are normally like 4-6 pages. (if you can’t tell, i’m a one-shot writer AND HAVENT WRITTEN A STORY FIC SINCE I WAS LIKE 14. shoutout to the wattpad days.) so this one is shorter bc i need to work but i wanted to put this out. part 4 will be much longer. idk how long im gonna end up making this fic in the end. ((yall gotta keep me encouraged to focus on this thing bc my adhd will in fact leave you all hanging on a cliff hanger and we wont look back lmao)))

i apologize for the shortness. i also apologize for adding the person i hate with a BURNING passion. yall just dont know. anyway, i’m so sorry. and for those who haven’t gotten to 11/12, there are no spoilers. this is like independent of that storyline and kinda after but i’ll explain a little in the next chapter. but i wanted to keep this true to the cm universe. also i didn’t want to create a wholeass character with a tragic backstory to explain why they’re a psychopath when in reality they just suck. that takes too damn long

warnings: none that i can think of. ((i dont even think i swore once. im so fucking proud. oops)) and no, i didnt proof read. so roll with any mistakes.

mr. loverman 1: Bloop

mr. loverman 2: bloop bloop 

____________________ 

“Y/n, have you seen anything or anyone suspicious lately? Anyone you recognized from one place appearing in other spaces?” Prentiss said. 

Everyone was staring at you. You felt the pressure on you to say the right thing but you didn’t know. You didn’t know what to say so you tried honesty. 

“No, not that I’ve noticed. Sorry if that makes things harder.” You sighed. 

You felt like you were letting everyone down because you didn’t notice anyone. Everything in your life was mundane and nothing stood out. You were super aware of your surroundings but you still felt like it wasn’t enough. You spent more time than ever in your apartment, which was hell but necessary with everything going on.

“Here’s the problem.” Emily started. “We have received intel that you’re on a bounty hunter’s hit list. Not only that but they have been watching you for some time now.” 

You were speechless. Who would pay to have you killed? Who did you piss off enough to pay money to have you killed? And what did this bounty hunter look like? This made you incredibly nervous and despite being away for two years, your body just reacted. 

Spencer told himself not to freak out. This didn’t mean anything. You were holding his hand tightly. It was what you used to do every time you got scared. Spencer squeezed your hand a little bit to let you know he was there and then he felt you squeeze back. You didn’t let go of his hand through the rest of the conversation but Spencer was barely paying attention. Garcia eventually ushered the two of you out of the room and back to your temporary bedroom. 

The silence between you and Spencer was incredibly loud. You let go of his hand as soon as you got to the breakroom, apologizing. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” You said. You figured that he would know what you were talking about. You sat in your corner of the mattress where you previously sat and Spencer sat in the space he occupied before the meeting. 

“No, you were scared. It’s okay.” He said. 

Silence that seemed to last forever happened. You were thinking about him and he was thinking about you. You were both so nervous about what came next but you didn’t know what to say. It took forever to come up with something but Spencer came up with something. 

“I wasn’t lying.” Spencer looked down at his shoes. 

“About?” You said, confused. You leaned your head against the wall. You were getting so tired. 

“Missing you. You have been all that I’ve thought about through these past two years.” He said, finally looking up at you. 

“Spence…” You said, yawning. You closed your eyes for a moment. 

“I haven’t connected to anyone else as naturally as I connected with you.” He said. 

“Well, I guess I can’t say anything different since I haven’t been able to move on.” You said, sleepily. It had been a long day and you were beyond exhausted. When you’re that tired, anything you say is bound to be unfiltered. 

“You were the only one who cared for me, all of me, and didn’t mind everything that came with me. No one gets that. No one cares about me like you do, even now. I couldn’t bear to take the ring off because it would mean losing a piece of you. And I couldn’t do that. I may have broken off the relationship but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. To this day, I…” You barely said before you fell asleep. 

Spencer thought about waking you but you looked so peaceful. He hated when he was left on a cliffhanger, especially like this, but you needed rest. So Spencer gently helped you lay down and covered you with your blanket. He was about to walk outside the door to guard and take a breather but you grabbed his arm and mumbled a very small, “Stay.” 

And that’s what he did. He stayed, holding you while you slept peacefully. He was so comfortable that he eventually nodded off. That was the first time in two years that he didn’t have a nightmare that scared him awake. 

When he woke up, you were nowhere to be found. Frantically searching, he ran all over the floor before noticing it was sunrise. You loved watching the sun rise in the mornings with a cup of coffee and a nice playlist going. 

“Hey, Spence.” You said, looking out the window. You looked rested, not tired like yesterday. 

“Y/n, you scared me. I thought something happened.” He said, looking at you. How did you make a sundress look so pretty? 

“Sorry. I thought about waking you but you were smiling in your sleep, the small, happy smile you do, and I wanted you to sleep. Besides, I had Cat to keep me company.” 

Spencer’s blood ran cold. That wasn’t possible. He was jumping to conclusions and you were sure it was just an intern or someone who…

“Hey Spencie. I’m having a grand time with y/n here. She’s a ball of sunshine.” Cat said, a fake smile fading into a straight face. 

Spencer immediately grabbed for his gun but didn’t find it anywhere on his hip. 

“Looking for this?” Cat took the gun out of her bag and pointed it directly at Spencer. 

Your head could barely comprehend what was happening. You were instructed to put your hands up and walk into the conference room, sitting across from each other. 

“And no touching. That’s no fun.” Cat pointed the gun at Spencer. You noticed that she was fixated on Spencer. You guessed that they somehow knew each other.

You were already in tears. What was happening? Could you make it out of this one alive? 

_____________________

Tag list: 

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@fanfictionreader05 

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[sleepychai-fics]

Road to Salvation ~ Chapter 4 - The Proposition

Inform me if I need to put in any warnings for this chapter. ALSO I'd like to apologise for the long break between chapters, life has been hectic and things got out of hand for a bit. Hopefully it wont happen a second time.

Word count: 5,472

Pronouns - Female

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO @doughnuts-5ever​ FOR BETA READING THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I KEEP FORGETTING TO ADD THIS SHOUTOUT CAUSE I POST THESE CHAPTERS AT 1 AM LIKE THE NIGHT OWL I AM. SO BIIIIIIG THANK YOU TO YOU BB, YOU MAKE THIS STORY MAKE SENSE WHEN MY BRAIN DONT

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in BNHA. However, there are many OC’s in this fic that I’ve created. These OC’s belong to me and are specifically created for this fic. 

However, Hajime Shinsou is NOT my oc. He is an oc created by Keiid, who used to have tumblr but now uses twitter. Please keep that in mind.

Feedback is appreciated!

Want to be part of the taglist? DM me or reply to this chapter!

“What do we know about this girl?” Tsukauchi flips open the folder full of papers in front of him, eyes darting across the pages briefly taking in the information.

Aizawa sighs, lifting up one of the papers and reading off of it. “She’s been seen as a vigilante on the streets for a little over two years now. How long she’s been on the streets in general is unknown. Her quirk involves moving objects through shadows. It’s believed she has other accomplices, however we don’t know for sure.” He ends by tossing the paper back in the folder.

Tsukauchi hums. “Is she the one we’re looking for?”

“I hope so.”

“What about her suspected accomplices?”

Aizawa takes out another piece of paper from a different folder. “Our informant tells us she lives with many other people on the streets. Rumors say that the group is the line between villains and heroes.” His tired eyes look over to the police officer. “We’re not sure how to interpret that.”

A groan leaves the officers lips as he leans back in his chair. “We’ll interview her once she wakes up. We can negotiate living conditions with her. Offer her the placement and training in exchange for her compliance and any requests she may ask.”

With a yawn, Aizawa nods. “What do you suspect she’ll ask for?”

“Not too sure. Despite what we have on her, she’s still unknown to us. Our data banks have nothing on her. It’d be your job to get to know her.”

Aizawa groans. “I know that. But I think Hisashi is more up to that task.”

Tsukauchi smiles. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“It was part of the deal. Whisper held up her end, now I need to hold up mine.”

“It’s a big task to hold up.”

Aizawa hums in agreeance. “That’s why I offered a trial period. If she proves worthy to be a hero, then I’ll make it a permanent deal.”

“Whisper has offered to ensure a steady supply of information on other underground personnel if you were to make it a full time deal.” Tsukauchi reminds him.

Aizawa nods. “Are you sure-”

An alarm blares loudly through the speakers, interrupting the two men and instantly raising them on high alert. The conference room doors slam open, a security guard standing at the entrance.

“I apologise for the interruption but she’s escaped her room!”

Aizawa stands up from his chair, almost knocking it over. “Do you know where she’s headed?”

“They report she’s just entering the cafeteria, possibly towards Ward E.”

The two men race out the door, following the guard as he races towards your direction.

~*~

Your senses come back slowly. First, it’s touch. Whatever room you’re in, it’s got a cold atmosphere to it. If you were conscious enough, you’d be clutching to your thin jacket. As the thought crosses your mind, you take note of the feeling of the fabric, definitely not the same kind of material as your jacket. But despite its foreignness, it holds you in strange comfort. However, the feeling doesn’t last long as your hearing starts to kick in.

Two voices - one feminine and the other masculine, speaking in a soft tone. Along with the voices, you hear a steady beeping sound. A heart monitor? You hear it pick up as the rest of your senses come to life. The pungent smell of sanitising chemicals invades your nostrils and has you scrunching your nose in response. One of the voices gasps and speaks to the other. Your eyes are heavy and your body urges you to return to the land of peaceful slumber, but with a strong will, you open your eyelids.

Everything is blurry. Patches of colours hover over your vision before flicking to a mixture of white shades. You hear things shuffle around and clang against metal, only making you work harder at your vision. In an attempt to clear your vision, you rapidly blink your eyes. However, a bright light shines into your eye and forces you to squint. In a burst of panicked adrenaline, you lash out.

From what you can comprehend, you throw out your fist, hitting the figure above you. Ignoring the scream of pain, you jump up out of what you suspect to be a bed and scamper across the floor. You trip into a wall and turn your body around to face the mess you seemed to have caused.

You shake your head and rub at your eyes in another attempt to clear your vision. As it begins to clear, the masculine voice speaks.

“Hey! Let’s calm down. There’s no need to be scared.” You focus on the person closest to you. His hair is a terrible mess of purple. A white coat lays over a blue shirt and brown pants. As your vision clears by the second, you recognise more of his facial features and you can’t help but feel a sense of familiarity. His dark eyes stare at you earnestly, but it’s his eyebags that strike you with an eerie recognition.

You notice his hand cast behind him and you follow it to a woman in similar attire to him, laying on the ground. She has one hand propping her upper body up off the floor, while her other hand covers her lower face, blood seeping in between her fingers.

You return your sight to the man and attempt to speak, however it comes out raspy. After clearing your throat, you try again. “Who are you?”

The doctor responds calmly, making slow movements with his hands as he speaks. “My name is Hajime Shinsou. I know that this seems scary at the moment, but you need to trust that I won’t hurt you.” Shinsou attempts to take a step closer but retracts it as you push your body further against the wall. “You might recognise me, more so my son but let's face it, he’s practically a carbon copy of me.”

Your vision finally starts to clear, enough for you to make out specific features that you’ve definitely seen before. But he’s way too tall from what you can remember. “Why would I recognise you? Your son?”

The slight upturn of his lips doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “A couple days ago, you saved my son from a group of gang members. It was by a karaoke restaurant. He has purple hair, just like me. He even has the same eyebags as me.” As Shinsou goes through his explanation, your memory begins to jog.

“The… the gang. They uhm... they attacked a restaurant and took a kid hostage.” Shinsou nods. “I stopped them and saved the kid.”

“Yes. My son appreciates you. I do too.”

Alarming questions begin to spew in your mind. “How did you know it was me? Where am I? Why am I here?!” Each question grows more desperate as your (e/c) scan the entirety of the room. Thankfully you chose the wall close to the door.

“It’s okay. No one intends to harm you here.”

“Bullshit. Where am I?!” You argue back, glaring at him with irritation.

Shinsou continues to remain calm, despite the growing panic radiating off of you. “You’re in a hospital in northeast Tokyo.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as your eyes widen in shock. “Northeast?!”

With a nod, he responds carefully. “Yes. I understand you may be in shock. But I promise you that I don’t mean you any harm-”

“I want to leave.”

He sighs heavily. “I know, but I’m sorry to say I can’t allow-”

“I want to leave. NOW!” You scream this time, eyes brimming with tears you fight to extinguish. “I can’t be here, I have to leave this place.”

“Why don’t we just sit down and have a calm cha-”

“No! I can’t stay here! I have to leave!” You throw your hands out, intent on using your quirk to push back the doctor. But when that doesn’t work, you falter. “Wha… Why? What happened to my quirk?” A few stray tears slither down your face despite your best efforts. “What did you do to my quirk?!”

“We’ve injected you with quirk suppressants. It was protocol. I’m sorry.” You can hear his genuine apology, but you ignore it through your own raging emotions.

“I’m leaving.”

Hajime nods, knowing there’s nothing else he can do. “I understand. But you have to know I can’t let you go without calling it in.”

You shake your head. “I don’t care.” You leave him no breath to reply, walking towards the door. Before you leave, you snatch a spare white coat from a nearby hook and throw it over yourself.

As the door clicks behind you, you take a moment to assess your surroundings. A window down the hall shows an orange hued sky, although it's difficult to determine whether it’s dusk or dawn. A couple of doctors scatter the large hall, but they’re too busy looking down at clipboards to notice you. You waste no second more before walking down the hall, head tilted down to avoid arousal of your presence.

It’s so foreign, so clean and pristine. Tears are prepared to fall at any moment, but you fight against them. It’s exhausting and horrifying, it’s taking all of you not to bolt out the nearest window.

Every turn you take, every corridor you look down leads you to the belief that you're stuck in a labyrinth. It all looks the same. The room placements, the nurses, the machines littered here and there. Everything is almost the exact same and it scares the living shit out of you.

Finally, after what seems like hours of endless wandering, you come across two double doors. They appear to lead to another part of the hospital. You take a second to glance around you. There’s no other way to go besides through these doors, at least no other way you’ve been able to discover anyway. Without another second to hesitate, you go through the doors.

It’s similar to the place you just came from, except there are fewer private rooms and more public beds. They’re all aligned against the wall and separated by at least a couple of meters. Curtains hang between them, offering visual privacy. More nurses and doctors operate within the space, working with patients and running to various desks.

As you take in the scenery from the doors, you hear a voice call out from your left.

“Hey, are you-?”

You turn to look at the voice, and your heart drops. Realisation dawns on your face the second you notice the security badge. Unfortunately, the guard comes to his own realisation.

The guard opens his mouth wide, probably to yell out, but you don’t give him the chance to. With adrenaline behind your muscles, you push at his chest, forcing him to back into a moving cart. The noise alerts the entire area and within seconds it turns to chaos.

You take off in a sprint down the hall, leaving the sounds of screams and yells behind you. Each turn you come upon, you run to the wall and push yourself off of it, maintaining momentum in your run. As you take another turn, you throw a glance behind you. Security guards are close behind you, as well as a few men dressed in white coats, seemingly doctors aiding in the chase.

An alarm blares loudly throughout the hospital, red lights blinking slowly at every corner. You ignore them all, focused on improvising an escape plan.

As you turn another corner, you're faced with a set of double doors. With no other choice, apart from the army of men behind you, you barge through the doors.

You thank the high being that it's an open spaced cafeteria. More space to run, more visualisation, more shit to throw, and most importantly, fewer hallways to get lost in.

People scream and scatter out of their chairs as you vault over tables. Every chance you get, you flick trays and food behind you in an attempt to slow down those behind you. You make the quick and random decisions to leap over tables to either side of you, making it even harder for the chasers to predict your direction.

However, more men come from the opposite direction and appear a few tables before you. Without thinking, you pick up a tray of food and throw it at them. They throw their arms up to deflect the tray and in turn lose sight of you for just a second.

You take the opportunity to take a sharp turn in the other direction. Unfortunately for you, the only direction left for you to go is through another set of doors that no doubt leads to another maze of hallways.

The second you go through the doors, you duck down, avoiding the few crackling electricity sticks that jab towards you. You slip underneath one, tripping the guy in the process and creating a roadblock of a few seconds.

You bolt to the left, tossing things nearby onto the ground, leaving a maze of objects behind you. Every cart you pass by gets toppled onto the ground and earns you the precious seconds you desire.

You’re so focused on the people around you that you don’t notice thin white cloth wrapping around you. It snaps tight around you before you can even think. Your arms are pinned to your side and your legs are immobilised, causing you to fall flat to the ground.

As soon as you land on the ground, grunting from impact, electricity violently courses throughout you as multiple electrical batons prod at you. You blackout in seconds.

~*~

Your senses return much quicker the second time around. As soon as the bright light enters your eye, you jolt up, scrambling off of the cold metal table.

Pain is the only thing you feel. Pain pumping through your veins and making you shiver from movement. You back yourself against a wall, your hand instinctively curling around your stomach as nausea arises.

Before you are the purple haired Doctor Shinsou and the recognisable dark dressed man with a large scarf hiding his neck. He has a hand on his scarf and knees bent whilst Shinsou has his hands up in a surrendering manner.

“It’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you.” He says.

You glare at him in disbelief. “Oh really now?” You grimace as you speak, sharp pain erupts from the side of your neck, just below your jaw. When you touch it, you can feel raised, jarred skin.

“You were shocked by 4 electrical batons. That one on your neck is the most severe one because of the skin contact.” Shinsou informs as he watches your hand shake above the wound.

“So much for not harming me.” You scoff.

“Those guys were from a different department.” The unknown man speaks up. “They run on different protocols.”

You spend a few seconds staring at him, watching as he lowers his hands by his side. Recognition prods your mind. “You were the one to capture me.”

The guy breathes in. “For now call me Eraserhead. We’d like for you to join us in the conference room down the hall. We’ll discuss everything there.”

“Why do I get the feeling there’s more than the three of us here?”

Shinsou, having put his hands down to his sides, answers you. “There’s only one more person and he’s waiting at the conference room. No more harm will come to you. Promise.”

You scrutinise his expression. The genuineness of his statement. Despite the short time you’ve talked with him, he seems genuine and reliable. So, on the little info you have, and with the foreign situation you are in, you decide your best bet for now is to trust him.

Shinsou walks out first, gesturing to you with a soft smile. Slowly, you stand up straight and start walking. You suppress the grimace as your leg shudders beneath you, most likely another wound area. With a deep breath, you push through the pain and limp out of the room. Eraserhead follows you closely.

The hallway is quiet, save for a few people here and there whispering to each other. Their eyes drift to you as you walk past them. You can feel their anger towards you and their disgust, you’re thankful the walk through the hallway is a short one.

Shinsou pushes open a door and steps aside to let you in. As soon as you set foot in the room, you analyse the room. It’s completely bare, save for the large oval table and the dozen-plus chairs surrounding it. Seated on one end of the table is a police officer. He has a brown coat thrown over his uniform. A matching brown hat sits on the table in front of him. His black hair is practically melded with his scalp, barely any strands sticking out. Your first impression of him isn’t the greatest and you decide to remain overly cautious.

“Hello.” He greets you as you walk in, almost like he was expecting you at that very second. It unnerves you. He gestures to the chair beside him. “Take a seat.”

You carefully step towards him. “I’d rather stand.” The scratchiness of your voice is still present, but you opt to ignore it.

He nods in understanding. “You can call me Tsukauchi.” You nod once, eyes glaring into his. “I’m sure you have questions.”

“I’m sure you have answers.” You fire back at him with a monotonous voice.

“I do. First I’d like to clear up the situation you're in at the moment. You are in a hospital north-”

“I already know that.” You nod towards Shinsou. “He explained that to me. I’m in northeast Tokyo. I wanna know why I’m here. And how I got here.”

Tsukauchi nods. “We’ve been keeping a close eye on you for a few weeks now. You’re known as the vigilante Shadow, aren't you? You’ve been in and out of activity for years.” Every word that he speaks increases your concern, but you fight to keep your expression neutral. “You’ve taken down thugs and criminals, but you’ve also stolen from civilians off the street.”

“Ok, imma stop you right there. I didn’t just steal from civilians, I also stole from those criminals.”

“You still stole from them.”

“Because I had to.” Your voice grows louder.

“Why?”

“Because-!” You stop yourself. You almost told him about the mall. Taking a deep breath, you start again. “I had to survive.”

It aggravates you the way he nods, as if he understands. “Like I said, we’ve been watching you. We apprehended you because we decided it would be best to approach you.”

“And you didn't try talking first?”

“We tried that. But as you can tell, that didn’t go well.”

Your mouth opens to speak, but you close it, realising he’s right. But another question surges through you. “Ok, then why were an army of police on standby in the area if you just wanted to talk?”

“We predicted your behaviour.” Throughout the entire chat, he’s remained calm and it irritates you to no end.

You scoff and shake your head. “Is there a point to this talk?”

Tsukauchi bends down to pull out a folder. “We believe you have potential.”

Worry sets in. “Potential for what?”

He slides the folder over to you. “Potential to become a hero.”

The room is silent. You stare at him in disbelief, despite your best efforts to keep a neutral face. The silence only lasts a couple of seconds however, as you burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry? Potential to become a hero?! What the actual fuck?! Haha! Weren’t you berating me as a vigilante fucking two minutes ago?” You double both in pain and laughter wheezing and gasping between breaths.

“Yes. Amongst everyone else, I see potential in you.” Tsukauchi waits a few seconds for you to catch your breath. “You’ve shown initiative in criminal activity. You are quick to rush in and protect civilians.”

“That’s because no one else is willing to, and there’s no police around to help them so I choose to step in.”

“Exactly.”

For a few seconds, you’re in deep thought about his words. He’s right. You have shown initiative, but does that really categorise you as a hero? If that's the case, then can’t everyone be a hero?

You look down at the folder on the table. Tentatively, you take a seat next to Tsukauchi, and open the folder.

Concealed inside is a small stack of papers. A small paragraph is printed on each page, addressing you and claiming that you agree to the terms and conditions that follow. On the bottom is a line with your name underneath. As you skin through each page, you come across to a highly detailed table chart.

“By signing these forms, you agree to a temporary deal in which you will live with Eraserhead and follow his rules.” You snap your attention to Tsukauchi, eyes bulging from distress. With a glance towards Eraserhead, who confirms with a nod, you sink further into the seat.

Tsukauchi continues. “You must agree to no vigilante activity whilst in his care. You’ll be monitored every minute of every day as long as you're in his care.”

“That chart in your hands,” Eraserhead speaks up, gesturing to the detailed chart in your hands. You take another look at it, noticing the times lined against each row and the days lined above each column. “It’s a timetable which I’ve set out for you to follow. You do exactly what it says to, and you won’t get charged for any of your vigilante crimes.”

“I’m getting charged?!” You stand up with shock and rage. Tsukauchi and Eraserhead jump to a stand as well. “So you’re saying that I either take up this so-called ‘opportunity’, or I get sent to prison for however long you deem fit? Sounds like a fucking threat if you ask me!”

“Hey, it’s alright. I pro-”

“It’s not alright!” You turn to Shinsou, fighting to keep back the tears building up behind your eyes. “None of this is okay! I’m being stripped of my freedom, all for what? To keep an eye on my behaviour?!” You turn to Tsukauchi, staring him down with a firm expression. “I have responsibilities to uphold.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure they can be put on hold for a while.” He says.

“They can’t!”

Minutes pass by, the tension in the air running thick. You run your hand through your hair, sighing with frustration and surrender before fixing your posture. “What I’m about to say, does not leave this room.”

“If you agree to the contract-”

You snap your gaze to Eraserhead. “If I agree to this contract I will keep up my end. But you have to keep up yours.”

He stares at you for a few seconds before nodding, allowing you to continue.

Your heart thunders in your chest with nerves and irritation. Tears threaten to fall but you remain stubborn as ever. With a deep breath, you let it out. “There is an abandoned mall on the outskirts of Tokyo. It’s where I and a ton of other homeless people stay. We're like a family. We protect each other and help where necessary. There are some people like me who’ve rescued kids from all sorts of situations, and those kids form a bond with us. A bond that acts like a lifeline. It’s their emotional lifeline.” Without noticing, a tear falls from your eye. After furiously rubbing at your eyes, you continue. “It’s impossible for me to leave them. Not while their emotional stability is still fragile. I’m sure you know enough of psychology to understand that.”

The room is silent as the three males ponder your revelation. They look between each other, wondering what to say, what to do with the new information. Sure, there were rumors of more people like you, but to hear the information come from you was different; it was no longer a rumor.

“This timetable isn’t possible for me to follow. I need some time with the mall. I need to let the kids know that I’m still there for them.”

Tsukauchi looks to Eraserhead. “It’s your call.”

Eraserhead sighs deeply as all eyes turn on him expectantly. “I’ll allow a one hour visit two days a week.”

“Three days.” You interject.

Dark eyes glare at you, but you remain stubborn and strong against his eyes. The sigh he lets go of borders on a growl. “One hour visits, three days a week. With supervision.” He enunciated the last sentence, indicating there would be no objections.

Despite your desire to argue, you know it’ll be useless. So, putting on a tough persona, you pick up the contract folder and practically shove it under his nose. “I want that in writing.”

The man remains still, half-lidded eyes staring at you for what seems like hours. It feels as if he’s stabbing you with just his gaze alone. Finally, he snatches the folder out of your hands and slaps it down on the table. He then takes a nearby pen and begins to furiously write on one of the papers. Once scribbling his signature, he steps back, allowing you to inspect his writing.

You do so, ensuring each word says as it's supposed to. Eraserhead holds out the pen to you. After some hesitance, you take the pen and lean down. The pen hovers over the paper. Your heart beats hard, you can feel it in your throat as if it's ready to spew out at any moment. You take a few steady breaths, your hand shaking the pen slightly. One more deep breath, and you put the pen to the paper.

Each letter written feels wrong, incriminating and abandoning. It feels exactly how you expected it; like your freedom was slipping away with each pen stroke.

As soon as you write the last letter, you stand up, the pen falling from your limp fingers.

Tsukauchi takes the folder and pockets it into his briefcase below the table. “I believe Dr. Shinsou wanted to do a last check-up. He’ll also be the one that will be attaching the ankle monitor. We’ll be using that to monitor you.”

You simply nod, the will to argue no longer there. You follow Shinsou out the room, head tilted down in both shame and surrender.

Your mind is numb, barely registering anything said to you. As Shinsou gestures for you to sit atop the examination table, you take notice of the nurse. The same nurse as before, this time with a bandage across her nose.

She appears reluctant to be near you, you can see her hands shake as they reach out to apply the blood pressure strap.

“I’m sorry.” Your apology is quiet but startles the woman. However, a smile eases on her face.

“It’s ok.” She replies, voice slightly hitched due to the bandage. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

The conversation is left at that. Shinsou and the nurse, who said her name was Sakura, do the basics, heart, lungs, eyes, ears. After completing them, Shinsou appears with a steel bracelet with a small box attached to it.

He doesn't get the chance to speak as you lift up your ankle. He peers into your eyes, taking note of the dread-filled gaze that appears to stare at nothing. With a sigh, he carefully clips the bracelet into place.

“Is it too tight?” His only response is a light shrug. He can’t help but feel bad for you. He proceeds to press and hold a button. The device turns on at the action, a small light on the box flicks on as two small beeps sound. As soon as that's done, Shinsou guides you out of the room.

When you step out, you are approached by a long blonde haired male, a gloved hand sticking out towards you.

“Hello listener!” His voice is loud and overly excited, but you barely pay any mind to him. He observes your mute behaviour and turns to his husband. Eraserhead simply shakes his head.

“This is my husband Yamada. You can call me Aizawa.” He says as he walks away.

You follow him without delay, mindlessly pocketing the info.

The drive is silent and tense. You stare out the window the entire trip, watching as the environment passes by. There’s no thoughts running through your mind, nothing to think about but the dread and disappointment of letting the mall down.

You barely register you’ve stopped, so induced in your negativity that you don’t notice that Aizawa is before you, waiting for you to step out.

The house is two stories tall, a small wood fence outlining the property. It’s a fairly modern-looking house, a front porch stretching a metre out the front yard. It’s decently sized, looking to fit a modern family of five.

Entering the house, you register a lounge room and kitchen across from each other from the front house, then straight ahead are stairs leading up to the second floor. Beside that is a hallway which you are told leads to a bathroom and laundry.

Your gaze wanders to the kitchen, where you find a black cat sitting on the bench, staring at you with yellow eyes.

“Oh, that’s Jelly. We have another cat named Muffin, she’s nicer than Jelly, he likes to scratch.” The Yamada explains. His smile drops however as your gaze falls to the floor. “How about I show you to your room?” He gestures upstairs.

You shrug, allowing him to lead you upstairs. He turns down the hall to a room at the end. “Here it is!” He opens the door, his green eyes shining with delight.

You peer into the room, gazing at the layout. A double bed is pressed up against a wall, a small table on each side. A desk lays opposite the bed, small and bare. Sliding doors in the wall indicate a wardrobe. It’s bare of anything and feels completely unnatural to you.

“It used to be a spare room, but now that you’re here it’s all yours! Don’t worry we have another.”

You ignore him and walk into the room, taking a seat on the bed.

“Hey,” His voice is significantly dialled down in both tone and volume as he approaches you. “I know this may seem scary, but we’re here to help you. Aizawa may seem like a blunt and harsh guy, but he’ll come around. Eventually.” He then kneels down before you, a soft smile on his face, his glasses on the tip of his nose. “Technically my name is Aizawa-Yamada but that’s for legal purposes. We’re teachers and figured it’d be easier for the students to separate us. That and Aizawa doesn’t like our relationship to be public information. If you’d like, you can call me by my first name, Hisashi.”

You nod, numbly tucking away the information. You jolt slightly as Hisashi places a hand on your knee.

“Why don’t you get some rest? The drugs from the hospital are probably still in effect.”

With a gentle squeeze, he stands up and exits the room, closing the door behind him. In the end, he was right. You take the time to realise how foggy your mind is and how exhausted your limbs feel.

Having no choice in the matter, you lay down on the bed.

You stare at the ceiling, the silence of the room overcoming your senses. It’s then that everything seems to properly set in your mind. Tears cascade down the side of your face, and you do what you can to silence your sobs.

You told them everything you didn’t want to. Although it gave you something, you still risked the safety of everyone. You may have just caused their demise. All for what? What was the purpose of all this? To become a hero?

Did you want to be a hero? Is it worth all this?

What would everyone think when you visited them? Aizawa would no doubt be supervising you. And if he wasn’t, the device on your ankle would surely broadcast your position.

What else was the device for? Could it hear you? Could it see what you were doing? Could it harm you?

Your mind whirls with unanswered questions, each question that rises allows another tear to fall from your eyes. Sleep comes quickly, haunting you with all of the day's events.

When you wake with a jolt, you wish for it all to be just that. A simple nightmare, something that Dabi could soothe away. But that wish shatters as you look around. The room was too spacious, the view was too pretty, the walls were too new, and the device around your ankle was still annoyingly present.

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

For months now, President Trump has carefully planted the seed that he might not leave the office of the presidency willingly if he loses.

Whether it’s tweeting that the election should be delayed as it “will be the most inaccurate and fraudulent election in history” or that there will be widespread voter fraud because of the expected uptick in mail ballots due to the coronavirus, Trump seems intent on undermining the electoral process.

This, in turn, raises a rather thorny and unprecedented question: What happens if Trump won’t go? The answer is bleak. Experts tell me that the president actually has a lot of power at his discretion to contest the election, and some of the scenarios that could bring us to the edge of a crisis are actually very plausible.

Consider this one: It’s late on Election Day, and hundreds of thousands of votes in key battleground states still have to be counted due to the increased use of mail and absentee voting because of the pandemic. As a result, media outlets have largely avoided calling the race, but based on the votes that have been counted, Trump leads in enough states to reach at least 270 electoral votes, which would be enough to win the election if his election-night lead holds. Trump claims victory, but because Democrats were much more likely to vote by mail than Republicans, Joe Biden eventually pulls ahead because of the Democratic lean of the remaining votes — a phenomenon known as the “blue shift.”

That’s just one of the many scenarios the Transition Integrity Project, a bipartisan collection of over 100 experts, explored this summer while researching how a possible election crisis could unfold.

Rosa Brooks, a professor at Georgetown University Law School who co-founded the Transition Integrity Project, told me she and her colleagues weren’t interested in predicting the likelihood of any one scenario they looked at, but more so in understanding the range of possibilities. Ultimately, they don’t know to what extent this year’s election result will be contested — would Trump deploy federal agents from the Department of Justice to secure vote counting sites or would he just take to Twitter to bemoan the results? — but Brooks told me they do think the election will be contested at least on some level. So the question they’re asking is: How much?

One big takeaway from the Transition Integrity Project’s simulations was just how much power Trump has at his disposal should he choose to contest the election. “You have just a tremendous differential between the president of the United States of America, who has just awesome coercive powers at his disposal, and a challenger who really has no power whatsoever in our system,” said Brooks. “Joe Biden can call a press conference; Donald Trump could call on the 82nd Airborne.”

This, of course, would be a doomsday scenario, and one reason why so much of this is hard to fathom. A cornerstone of American elections has been the peaceful transition of power, but as research from the Transition Integrity Project and others underscores, there are multiple ways to contest an election. And it’s not limited to just Trump either. It’s very possible were Trump to win in the Electoral College, where he has an advantage, but lose the popular vote to Biden, that Democrats would dismiss the election as unfair.

We, of course, do not have to look too far back in our electoral history to know that Americans have survived a disputed election before — see the 2000 presidential race. But experts I talked to were worried, given Trump’s inflammatory rhetoric around the election and his own track record of openly flouting democratic norms, that the country wouldn’t be able to handle another full-throttle election dispute. Take how low the public’s trust in the election already is. Last week, an NBC News/SurveyMonkey poll found that 59 percent of Americans were not too confident or not confident at all that the election would be conducted in a free and equal way, in line with its polling since early August on this question.

It might be hard to remember now, but in the 2000 presidential election, Florida’s GOP-controlled state legislature was on the verge of appointing a new slate of electors to vote for George W. Bush had a court-ordered manual recount imposed by the Florida Supreme Court dragged on. Of course, it ultimately didn’t come to that because the U.S. Supreme Court stepped in and halted Florida’s recount, famously deciding in a 5-4 decision that the state Supreme Court had overstepped its bounds and that a recount could not be held in time to meet the federal deadline for the selection of presidential electors.

Edward Foley of Ohio State University’s Moritz College of Law thinks something similar could happen this year if the president and his backers contest the results in the Electoral College.

In Foley’s scenario, Trump leads in the tipping-point state of Pennsylvania on election night, but because of Democratic gains in ballots counted in the following days, Biden pulls ahead by a few thousand votes. What happens next quickly devolves into a partisan dispute. Democratic Gov. Tom Wolf signs Pennsylvania’s certificate of ascertainment, confirming Biden’s victory by listing the Democratic electors as the state’s official slate for the Electoral College, while the Republican-controlled Pennsylvania legislature appoints a different set of electors at Trump’s behest as he has claimed there was widespread election fraud.

This, were it to happen, would likely be met immediately with legal challenges in state and federal court, perhaps followed by another intervention by the U.S. Supreme Court. But the significance is that even if a court ruled against the validity of one set of electors, Congress still has the power to consider both sets of electors as long as they have in hand the certificate naming them.

The Electoral Count Act of 1887, which governs the electoral vote counting process, was designed to help Congress decide how to handle such a situation. But it is especially ambiguous on what would happen if the Senate and House disagree on which set of electors should count, which could happen if the GOP retains control of the Senate and Democrats keep the House.

In Foley’s scenario, Vice President Mike Pence — as president of the Senate, he would oversee the count in Congress — follows one interpretation of the law, arguing that neither set of electors should count because they conflict. That removes Pennsylvania’s votes from the total number of electors and gives Trump a majority based on the remaining 518 electoral votes.1 Democrats, however, counter, claiming the certificate bearing the governor’s seal, which supports Biden, is given preference by the law.

Ultimately, though, neither side finds a compromise and we find ourselves in the midst of a full-blown constitutional crisis. In this scenario, the Supreme Court could become involved if, for instance, Democrats seek an injunction to stop Pence from not counting Pennsylvania’s votes. But it’s also possible the court would try to avoid making a ruling on the counting dispute, in keeping with a dissent from Bush v. Gore that argued neither the Constitution nor the Electoral Count Act provided a role for the judiciary in this process.

Under the 20th Amendment, we know someone must take office on Jan. 20 as president, yet the amendment is curiously silent on how to deal with a dispute over whether someone has actually qualified to take office. “The thing that we know for sure is the current term ends,” said Foley, but he added that doesn’t mean it would be straightforward to figure out who should take office next if there’s a disagreement.

In fact, it’s possible that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could claim that under the Presidential Succession Act, she is next in line to become president and that she would be willing to resign her House seat to serve as president until Biden is ruled the election winner. But if Republicans claimed Trump had won reelection, they very well might object to Pelosi being sworn in. Given a crisis on this scale, it’s hard to unpack what exactly might happen, but it’s very likely things would spiral out of control, and the resulting uncertainty could spark unrest and protests that could very well lead to violence.

Gaming out these different scenarios demonstrates that, should Trump dispute the result, a key factor will be the extent to which leading Republican officials at the federal and state level cooperate with him. Brooks pointed out that while Trump has significant power to contest the results as president, he can ultimately only go so far if supporters don’t follow his lead.

For instance, in one of its simulations, the Transition Integrity Project found that GOP leaders might support some of Trump’s claims of fraud or maneuvers to manipulate the vote count, but that didn’t mean they’d go along with every move he tried. For instance, it found many Republicans might oppose an attempt to federalize and deploy the National Guard. And in Foley’s scenario, much hinged on what Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and other Republicans — including Pence — chose to do when it came to deciding which Pennsylvania electors should count.

The relative closeness of the election is a factor here, too. In a different simulation the Transition Integrity Project looked at that put Biden in a stronger position on election night, Trump attracted less support from Republican leaders and Biden’s campaign was able to get some degree of bipartisan cooperation so that the country didn’t slide into a full-blown electoral crisis. Still, throughout its different scenarios, the project found it likely that the Trump campaign would try to raise enough doubts about the vote so as to undermine what might even seem like a clear result. Considering Trump claimed millions of people illegally voted when he won in 2016, it doesn’t take much to imagine he’d do the same this year if he thought it would improve his chances of winning a contested election. That’s one reason researchers at the Transition Integrity Project rank Trump’s allegations of voter fraud among the most dangerous threats currently facing the election.

Of course, considering how high the existential stakes seem to be in this election, it’s not out of the question that Biden might be the one who disputes the result. Tellingly, in another simulation the Transition Integrity Project played out, a crisis unfolded after Trump won in the Electoral College but lost the national popular vote by 5 points. Trump claimed it was fraud that explained Biden’s popular vote edge, but Biden retracted an election night concession and pushed Democratic governors in Michigan and Wisconsin to send appointed slates of electors to Congress, in conflict with the elected ones backing Trump. In his work, Foley also explored an alternate scenario in which Arizona was the tipping-point state and Republican Gov. Doug Ducey refused to certify the results to give Biden the state’s electors. During Congress’s counting, congressional Democrats argued that Arizona’s electors should be disqualified to give Biden the victory — the same argument Pence made in the Pennsylvania scenario to claim Trump had won.

The scenarios laid out by the Transition Integrity Project and Foley shouldn’t be taken as definite outcomes, but they do make clear that the rickety apparatus governing our electoral process could collapse if key actors decide to push against it.

Worryingly, the public may be especially vulnerable to attempts to delegitimize the election, too. Faith in the Electoral College is already shaky because of the possibility of a popular vote-electoral vote split like in 2000 and 2016, and worse yet, support for the Electoral College is increasingly polarized by party. A conflict over which electors should count would only exacerbate those concerns. And because many Americans still expect to know who won on election night, this could create a situation where much of the public isn’t ready for — or is ready to reject — sizable shifts in the vote after Election Day, which could make it easier to cast doubt on the outcome.

But even if the worst scenarios don’t come to pass, the fact that we lack a neutral electoral arbiter is surely a ticking time bomb for our democracy. Such an institution may sound difficult to create, but many individual states have used judicial panels to successfully sort through close elections, and other democratic nations have far better laws to adjudicate contested elections. For now, though, in the absence of such measures, the peaceful transfer of power hinges on the expectation that that is how American elections work, but that may be increasingly hanging in the balance, as anyone living in this incredibly polarized era of U.S. politics will tell you.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 2

Boggy the Froggy!

Welcome back, ya’ll! We jump back in with our Bad Kids (or 4/6 of them anyway) the very next day. Fabian sends Gilear out on a coffee run on the threat of bodily harm. His mom–who, if you remember is low-key a total badass–tells Fabian that if Gilear doesn’t come back from the quest alive, she’s going to duel him to the death on top of the house. Yikes. At Chez Thistlespring, Gorgug’s parents give him another very detailed sex talk and then remind him that he lives in a world where magic is very real so any and all dreams he remembers should be treated as omens. 

At the haunted house, Adaine wakes up having had portentous dreams like everyone else which is doubly concerning I have to imagine considering (1) she is the eleven oracle and (2) as a full elf she’s supposed to trance, not sleep and dream. Luckily for her nerves, she cast Find Familiar the night before and summoned an emotional support familiar which she gave the amazing name Bogariel Frogariel aka: Boggy the Froggy. 

Meanwhile (and I needed to switch paragraphs because Kristen is doing the D&D equivalent of playing Twister while everyone else is playing Checkers as she is wont to do) Kristen is talking to Tracker about changing Yes? again because she is filled with doubt about her god of doubt but the one thing she clearly doesn’t have doubt about is her relationship with Tracker because it’s been less than a year and she already sees wedding bells in their future. Wild. She also invites Tracker on the quest, rectifying what I thought was a wild oversight last week. 

Everyone meets up and they realize Fig and Riz are missing. They (specifically Fabian) can’t get Riz on the phone (which has never happened before) and all of Fig’s stuff is missing. They head over to Riz’s office to see if they can find him but, before that, Tracker cancels the church of Yes? because, sure. 

There are signs of a struggle at Riz’s office, but no blood. They find a picture of Riz’s super-spy dad (Pok) with his arm around someone who appears invisible to them (though the spot is circled in red). They also find claw marks going up to a mirror. Adaine stops Gorgug from touching the mirror which would have driven him insane and had him attack the group. She sees a twisted version of Riz in the mirror which no one else can see until she describes it (suspicious). Then, she dispels magic and the Riz appears in the room…and attacks them (roll for initiative baybee)!

Fabian is flipped the F out. Kristen decides to chill out and drink Riz’s coffee–much to the incredulousness of everyone else (she’s on those chill existential dread vibes). Adaine and Gorgug are stricken by fear but they’re able to snap out of it quickly. Once they’re sure it’s not Riz (the doppelganger is going full creepy horror movie monster with the head twisting and biting and junk), they start going full throttle but Kristen gets a clutch roll and lands a banishment on Nightmare Riz (who was invisible at the time). Also, Adaine finds a gun but no one is down with her packing heat without proper firearms training so she reluctantly puts it back. They confer with Sandra-Lynn and they find out Fig has, for some reason, gone to Bastion City (the capital) and Gorthalax is missing. Also, because Emily is Emily whether she’s present or not, they find out that Fig has decided to multiclass and she is now a bard/warlock with her demon dad as her patron. Those might be connected because, as her patron, Gorthalax can now find Fig at all times.  

Sklonda, in the meantime, has been investigating a robbery at the mall. They end up there too because Gilear (who is back from his coffee run) said he saw Fig’s bus in the area. They tell Ragh to meet them there and then head over (Gorgug in the old family car which he buys from them for 30 gold (the cost of a pony)–the amount Adaine suggests after the Thistlesprings reject his insane offer of 1000 gold). Also, Kristen leaves her brothers some gold secretly which is sad and also I think not the best way to handle that, but the intention is good. The robbery was of a gem–non-magical I believe–called the Devil’s Heart. [Edit: And apparently Fig’s doing.] Fabian shows up, tries to be helpful, and then eats glass. Normal stuff. 

The group tries to figure out what’s going on with Fig by calling the hotel she’s at and basically doing a straight improv comedy routine, each passing the phone around with a bad story until Adaine just hangs the phone up. Then, they find out from Sklonda that Pok’s partner is a tabaxi (cat person) named Kalina and she is in the empty space in the photo. Sklonda and Sandra-Lynn can see it even though the Bad Kids can’t. 

With that information gathered, the group leaves Elmville for the first time on the way to the Hotel Cavalier in Bastion City and, hopefully, Fig. 

Detention

Fabian for Intern Abuse

Poor Gilear. Fabian solicits increasingly complicated coffee orders from his friends to make Gilear’s job harder and tries to get them to threaten Gilear on their behalf. Even Sandra-Lynn was like, bro. Lay off the guy. Bad form, sir. (Hilarious, but bad). 

Honor Roll

Adaine for Rocking Her Portent Rolls

Adaine had a 19 and a 4 for her portent rolls this session and she used them very judiciously. The first was her 19 which she gave to Gorgug who was about to fail his saving throw and touch the mirror which would have led to him attacking everyone (she has a vision of his beheading her in a rage–sidenote love that Brennan makes her portent rolls actual visions instead of just having the mechanical effect of changing the roll happen). The second was a 4 which she gave to Brennan who was rolling for concentration on Nightmare Riz’s fear spell. What a power move to stare your DM in the face and say, “You roll a 4.” Amazing. Portent rolls are so good you guys. Also, bonus points for coming up with the name Bogariel Frogariel. 

Random Thoughts

Fabian’s response to his mom’s ultimatum that she will fight him if Gilear doesn’t return alive? “Damn, guess I have to fight my mom.”

“MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG.”

Brennan describes Boggy as just the most archetypal looking, round, squishy frog and I want a plush of his yesterday. Or a stress ball! It would go with his whole emotional support thing in game. I love that Siobhan picked not the potentially “useful” or “cool” animal. She went full Marie Kondo and was like, “What’s gonna spark some joy?” Boggy also can give her the help action, which is great!

The episode was great even 2 cast members down, but they were missed. On more than one occasion, I was like, “This is more quiet than usual. I wonder why–ah Emily.” We better get her reaction to Boggy as soon as she’s back.  

Kristen brings up the concept of patenting a god which is wild. We also get an answer to the question I had last week about Tracker’s cleric status–she still is a cleric of the moon goddess. The moon goddess is just chill with her followers not being exclusive. 

Fabian sans Riz is a hilarious mess. For anyone who likes them together as friends and/or romantically there was a lot of Content. Fabian being like, “Idk about Fig but something is def wrong with the Ball because he always answers on the first ring when I call  him.” Him canonically forgetting that he has a name other than The Ball (that’s the name in his phone, obv). And, the coup de grace, him investigating RIz’s office, but only for signs of his name. Him trying to Investigate like Riz, rolling a nat 1, and literally eating glass (“I thought I could taste fingerprints!”). 

“Coffee’s ordered, is the Ball dead?”

Adaine as everyone is clowning on Fabian for possibly making out with the Hangman: The Hangman is much more human than my bitch sister. 

Nightmare Riz, who they still think is actual Riz at this point, pops out of the mirror and Fabian and Adaine’s reactions respectively are, “You can’t do these things!” and, “It’s like 60% of our grade.”

The idea of Gorgug going from a terrified scream into a barbarian rage scream is very funny. Where are the animatics people?

Oh, speaking of people, Fantasy High was trending on tumblr the morning after this stream. Nice job, guys! 

The talk that Gorgug’s parents give him about all dreams being significant is something I always say in movies/books/shows like this. You have protagonists who *know* they live in a magic world and they have weird dreams and it’s not until 2/3rds of the way into the story that they’re like, “Wait. My dreams…mean something?” Bitch, what?

Gorgug’s initial coffee order is Hot Chocolate with a shot of decaf.

Everyone is very chill with Tracker coming onto the quest. Adaine just has one rule: No sex in the tent while they’re also in the tent. Kristen asks like she’s offended Adaine would feel the need to say that but like…come on. 

At first, I thought the invisibility in the photo was similar to the non-Adaine bad kids not being able to see Nightmare Riz until she described him but they still couldn’t see the woman in the photo after Sklonda described her so not sure what was going on with the mirror. 

I went back to the episode where Riz finds the photo of his dad (First Kisses and Last Words at around 1 hour, 27 mins in) and in that photo it’s of his dad and his mom. So either (1) it’s a different photo, (2) Brennan forgot/retconned something, or (3) something seriously screwy is going on. I will also note two observations here. Sklonda mentioned that Kalina doesn’t drink but was holding up her hand in a toast like she was drinking in the photo. That seems too specific a detail to not mean anything. And the second thing is, last ep, we did learn about a servant of the Nightmare King called the Shadow Cat and Kalina (if that is her real name) is a tabaxi so that’s something to think about. 

With all the complicated coffee orders flying around, Adaine just changes hers to a black coffee to try and make Gilear’s life a little easier (her original order was a Peppermint Mocha–sans the threat of violence to Gilear Fabian was offering). I do really love that Adaine seems genuinely concerned about the guy. SOMEONE should be. And it’s consistent with her characterization of just being generally well mannered and empathetic. 

Kristen getting the banishment on Nightmare Riz is something she did after Ally asked for it and Brennan was like, “lol, sure on a 19 or 20.” Boom. Rolled a 19. Just like in the prom fight. So the lesson here folks is don’t give your players a conditional yes and then expect the dice to bail you out. 

Kristen’s existential crisis is so crazy to me because she’s having, like, a prototypical Crisis of Faith™ (and pretty realistically) except, unlike in real life, she has certain knowledge about the existence of gods, life after death, and the means to communicate with those deities in the present day like…I feel like you’re crisis-ing wrong, girl. She’s crisis-ing like she just deconverted from Christianity when I feel like what actually happened is closer to, like, quitting a sorority or realizing you hate your major or changing political parties.  

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents homestuck helioism again

Ragh had a dream matching up with Gorgug’s (but he didn’t realize it was Gorgug in his dream) which means something and I’m sure we’ll figure out what soon enough. 

The Fabian eating glass scene is another one where you truly need to see it to understand how great it is. Lou is equally game to have Fabian be the coolest person who ever lived or a huge baby and Fabian running away crying because he has glass shards in his tongue is incredible. Hilariously, he runs into Ragh in the food court who has also eaten glass in the past (“Glass is literally invisible.”) and they bro bond over it so hard (“That’s my boy!”) that Tracker and Kristen are like…are they a thing?

The other crazy scene is the gang passing around the phone trying to convince the hotel receptionist to give them info about Fig. Kristen comes up with the name Teddy Guyger (and Zac and I at the same time are like, “Did you get the name Teddy because you have a teddy bear in your inventory rn?”). Fabian tries to drop his dad’s name. Their first move for some reason isn’t to give the phone to Gorgug who is also a part of the band. Adaine just hangs up the phone like Peppa Pig. Exquisite comic timing. 

“I cast bane on Gilear.”

I love the running joke of Adaine having visions throughout the day of her friends in the process of doing dumb BS.

Nightmare Riz going after Fabian’s good eye was big gross. Thanks Brennan, I hate it.  

I wonder if what’s going on with Fig is completely different than what’s going on with Riz. Just because they’re gone for the same reason irl, doesn’t mean they’re gone for the same reason in game. Nightmare Fig could be a fun fight though.

As someone whose fave thing in D&D is not combat, I thought the fight in this episode was great. Interesting concept, good chance for in-character reactions, not too long . 

Ragh upon meeting Tracker: Check it out: I’m gay. (Tracker: Tight.)

Fabian, who has known Cathilda his entire life: Do maids dream?

In this ep, Kristen and Adaine rolled 2 nat 20s each (Kristen rolled one for initiative also but it was lowered by her modifier), and Gorgug and Fabian each rolled 1. Fabian also rolled a nat 1 (which, again, led to him Eating Glass).  

[saint-of-los-angeles]

Don’t Go Away Mad

WOW HERE IT IS, THE LONGEST FIC I HAVE DONE. This fic was done with a coauthor, the beautiful, wonderful, talented @merryy-go-round. I’m seriously like proud of this fic and I know she is too. THANK YOU GIRL, I LOVE YOU!!!

Summery: “Tommy was dying, this had to be what death felt like. There was no other way to describe the feeling of impending doom that he was being crushed under at hearing those words. Those horrible words, uttered from a total fucking stranger’s mouth. Nikki was dead, he was gone forever, he would never look into his green eyes again.”

Another take on Nikki’s overdose and the impact it has on Tommy.

Warnings: Drug use, Overdose, general sadness. But y’all know I dont do sad endings.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx/ Tommy Lee

TAGGING A FEW PEOPLE I THINK MAY LIKE. (If you dont want tagged, feel free to message and tell me, I wont be offended I swear) @malibubarbievince @tommyysixx @the--blackdahlia @stellalux-universe @devil-shouted @sixx-tommy-roger-john @motherfucker-oftheyear @jenerallymarvelous @fan-with-issues

After a grueling press release for their upcoming album, Tommy was fucking drained, and all he wanted to do was go home, to Nikki’s, and soak up the last bits of peace before their upcoming tour began. Tommy lived for the moments where he could have the older man all to himself, when he could take the time to just study the bassist’s face and bask in the fact that he was his. Although the deeper Nikki sunk into his love affair with his liquid mistress, the farther in between these moments became.

Tommy tried so, so hard not to dwell on it, to just be happy with the time he did get with Nikki. Something was better than nothing right? They would be out of there in just a matter of minutes, if Vince would just stop fucking talking for once, and Tommy would be able to spend his night catching up on some much needed alone time with Nikki.

They didn’t have anywhere that they had to be until after Christmas day. This means Tommy gets to spend three whole days with his boyfriend, uninterrupted, which was a rare fucking feat in the crazy lives they lived. Tommy wondered if he should have the driver make a detour to stop by Nikki’s favorite restaurant to brighten his mood. He was getting way too fucking skinny, these days. Or maybe they could go to that new music store that the older man had mentioned a few weeks ago, anything, really to put a smile on Nikki’s face was fucking worth it to Tommy, a smile that he had put there, as compared to the one he gets when he’s melting down his liquid gold in a dirty spoon.

As he was mentally constructing up the perfect evening in his head, he was snapped out of his daydreaming by a rather loud sigh that rolled out from between the bassist’s lips. Nikki looked beyond impatient, and beyond ready for this press conference to just fucking end already, and to everyone else, it may look like Nikki was just ready to finally relax and get some fucking rest.  But Tommy wasn’t everyone else, and he felt the hope that he had in place for the ‘perfect night’ ahead of them extinguish like a match on a windy day.

Nikki could care less about getting out of here to spend time with Tommy, Nikki just wanted to get high.

Both men could feel the tension developing in their relationship around the time that the older man met his love affair in the form of heroin, and it was taking a toll on both of them. Before heroin, Tommy never really thought to worry about Nikki’s intake of illegal substances, because duh. Rockstars, remember?

Tommy had always previously seen the bassist as indestructible when it came to drugs. Nikki knew how to handle himself and had everything under perfect control, he had promised Tommy that he knew what he was doing and would never do anything to leave Tommy all alone. When Tommy thinks back to how fucking naive he was to think that anyone is above addiction, he has to laugh at himself. The drummer was always a little too optimistic, and maybe he still is.

Too optimistic about his relationship being perfectly normal, and healthy, and thinking things will work out on their own. Too optimistic, too stupid to realize that he has lost the Nikki that he fell so hard for, the Nikki that could look into his eyes and tell him he loved him more than anything and mean it. As much as Tommy knew he was living in a world of denial, he hoped that tonight, for just one night he could just close his eyes and pretend that he was still the most important thing in Nikki’s life.  

Nikki had been visibly irritated throughout the entire conference and Tommy barely refrained from rolling his eyes at the sight of Nikki’s clenched jaw and bouncing leg. He knew that look, he had seen it too many times over the past few months. Nikki just wanted to get the fuck out of there, so he could shoot up, and what else was new?

What had started out as yet another recreational drug to add to the long fucking list of drugs that Crue did on a daily basis, had turned into something much more sinister for the bassist, and Tommy couldnt even put a pinpoint to the moment that the drug had stolen his boyfriend, the love of his life, away from him. Maybe it was easier to ignore the alarming amount of track marks, and the always present slur in the man’s voice than to face the fact that the man he loved more than anything was a fucking junkie, and on his way to an early grave.

Before heroin, Nikki could sit and listen to Tommy ramble for hours about drum fills, how annoying his hair was being that day, how much he missed his parents, anything really. He’d sit there and listen to Tommy with a smile on his face and this look in his eyes like there was absolutely nowhere else he’d rather be.

These days, however, Tommy found himself fighting to be the center of attention for more than just a few minutes. Nikki had found a new subject of affection, and from the looks of it, the bassist probably hasn’t shot up since before they got to the conference building, which was over 4 hours ago.

As the press conference finally came to a close, thanks for finally shutting up Vince, Tommy frowned as he studied his boyfriend a little more closely. He could see the sheen of sweat that coated Nikki’s face as the bassist stood and then turned to shoot him a quick, almost nervous glance. It was the look that Tommy had seen 100 times, it was nerves mixed with guilt and it always meant that Tommy wasn't going to like what Nikki had to say.

“Hey babe, I’m gonna head out. Slash invited me out to this thing and you said you wanted to go home and crash so...” He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders and avoiding eye contact at all cost. Tommy scoffed loudly causing Nikki to shoot him a surprised glance.

Tommy rarely objected to these things, knowing it was a losing battle anyway, and being too afraid to send the older man scattering away to a hiding spot that he would eventually die in, but something about Nikki’s tone, as if he expected Tommy to just be totally fine with being ditched had Tommy unable to bite his tongue this time.

“Yeah, as in go home and crash with you,” Tommy began as he stood, stepping in front of the exit to prevent the other man from leaving. “My boyfriend who hasn’t spoken more than ten sentences to me today. Seriously you can’t go one fucking night with choosing me over shooting that fucking poison into your neck, Nik?” Tommy’s sharp tone surprised even himself, as stared down into the slightly shorter man’s eyes.

All of the feelings of fear, frustration and anger that Tommy had been suppressing for months seemed to come to the surface and it surprised him as much as it surprised Nikki. The older man’s eyes reflected the hurt and confusion at his words, who then was shushing him when he noticed the stares from various bystanders who were still lingering around the large room.

Tommy continued speaking without bothering to lower his voice. “What Nikki? Don’t want everyone to think you’re some sort of junkie?” The words felt cruel coming out of his mouth and he almost instantly felt sick to his stomach saying the word “junkie” to Nikki, but he couldn’t back down now. He watched the other man still at his words and watched as his expression shifted from confused to pissed.

“You know what Tommy, fuck you. I don’t need your fucking permission. Just fuck off.” The bassist was sneering at Tommy as he twirled around to leave.

“Hey, we aren’t done with this!” Tommy started as he reached to grab Nikki’s shoulder to spin him around to face the drummer’s fiery eyes once again. Tommy was a little shocked over his own actions, where did this wave of anger come from? They had small arguments all the time, they were both passionate, headstrong people, but things never escalated to the point where things were unmendable. If Tommy stopped now things would go back to how they were, and they would just ignore that this ever happened. But no, fuck that, Tommy was upset, he had been for fucking months and he had held it in for as long as he could, and now that he had let a little out, he couldnt seem to reel in his emotions.

Nikki looked just as shocked as Tommy did, but underneath his bewildered expression at the treatment he was receiving from his usually happy and carefree boyfriend, was the desperation of an addict that just wanted to fucking shoot up already, and Tommy was preventing that.

“Yes we fucking are Tommy, I’m done with this conversation, Slash is waiting for me, I’ll see you later.” Tommy could hear the barely restrained anger bubbling under Nikki’s words and something about that irked him to no end. How dare Nikki be upset, when he’s the one leaving Tommy to go home alone for the thousandth fucking time, so that he can go inject some poison into his veins?

“Nikki, if you fucking leave, don’t expect me to be there when you get home.” The words felt foreign and WRONG on Tommy’s lips. Part of him wanted to immediately retract the statement and hug Nikki, because back when Nikki and him had first admitted their feelings, Nikki had admitted in a moment of pure trust and love that Tommy leaving him was always his worst fear. Tommy always promised him that nothing he could do would ever push him away. But Tommy was so angry, and above anything else, he was hurt that Nikki would put some amber liquid in a needle above him,  who had always been there for him, even when the bassist was terrified of love and tried pushing him away.

"I swear if you leave then I am done with this shit. I can’t watch you do this anymore. You are killing yourself, you do realize that right? I mean, fuck Nikki, I don’t know if I would have fallen in love with you if you were this person when we met.”

Tommy watched as Nikki’s shocked expression turned into pure hurt for a split second, before morphing into the most venomous sneer Tommy had ever seen from Nikki. He knew before the words were out of his mouth that he had gone too far. Nikki had barely been controlling his anger before, but at the harsh words it was as if a switch was flipped.

His loving boyfriend was nowhere to be found. Tommy had never felt afraid of Nikki before, but the look of pure disbelief and fear mixed with anger and confusion was enough to scare him. Tommy could tell that Nikki had completely shut down at this point, and could see the tremors the man was succumbing to, whether it was from the need for drugs, or from holding back his anger, he didn’t know.

Tommy would prefer a punch straight to the face rather than see the pain that he caused on the elder’s features, it would be substantially less painful.

Even Mick, who had been sitting awkwardly on one of the plush couches that the pair had just been occupying even looked shocked at the explosion that seemed to come from nowhere.

Tommy was about to speak again, the overwhelming feelings of guilt and regret immediately replacing the feelings of anger. He was just hurt, and he wanted to just tell Nikki that, how he felt like sometimes he couldn’t fucking breathe when he thought about Nikki out there shooting up a substance that could end his life one day, but Nikki beat him to it.

“You know what, you’re right, Tom. I have changed, and maybe I’m tired of having a boyfriend who just bitches about everything I do instead of having any fucking fun. Thanks for the fucking reality check, babe.” Nikki all but ground out with eyes hardening more and more, the more he spoke. “If you’ll excuse me, I have important business to tend to. You know how us junkies are.” Tommy could barely hear the crack in the older man’s voice that caused his heart to ache, and all he wanted to do was just take it back.

Before Tommy could get his mouth to connect with his brain Nikki was already storming off in the direction of the exit. Using his shoulder to push past the stunned drummer, roughly jolting him to the side.

Mick stared in silence at the youngest member of the band, when Vince decided that he finally wanted to grace the rest of them with his presence, all smiles as he bounded over to Tommy, throwing a casual arm around his shoulder. “Guess we can ditch this place, yeah? Dude, where’s Nikki?”

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After a quiet explanation of the bassist’s whereabouts, Tommy allowed himself to be drug along to Vince’s favorite strip club, and honestly he was grateful for the distraction. He had never been so appreciative of Mick’s non-prying nature and Vince’s absolute inability to worry about anything that doesn’t directly affect his life. If he had gone to his empty apartment he was sure he would be driven mad by the constant replay of the look of betrayal and hurt on Nikki’s face in his mind. So here he sits with his fifth- no sixth?- whiskey sour and he wants more than anything to press rewind and take everything back.

Now that he had calmed down and had time to process what the fuck had happened, and the words exchanged, he was left with such intense feelings of self loathing that he was sure that he would collapse under the pressure if not for the barstool he was currently sat on. Why did he snap at Nikki like that?

Despite Nikki’s shitty attitude and distant nature lately, he knew deep down that Nikki was really sick, and he had always been bad at expressing love in relationships, why should this relationship be any different? Tommy wanted to help Nikki through his issues, not make them worse.

Tommy had already started making plans to apologize to Nikki as soon as possible when his world suddenly changed forever. He didn’t process the words when he heard them, he just blankly looked up to stare at these three dudes talking amongst themselves, arms waving dramatically in what appeared to be disbelief.

“Dude, did you hear?”

“Nikki Sixx overdosed on smack dude, he was hanging out with Slash from Guns and Roses, he’s the one who found him.”

“Shut up”

“I swear, dude, so long Motley Crue, huh? Fucking sucks, I loved them.”

No.

Nikki didn’t overdose, not even in Tommy’s worst fucking nightmares did Nikki overdose. Nikki swore he’d never leave him, swore he had it under control. How the fuck did these guys know Nikki was with Slash tonight? This wasn’t true, this couldn’t be fucking true, but everything in Tommy’s gut was telling him it was.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the FUCK?

Tommy was dying, this had to be what death felt like. There was no other way to describe the feeling of impending doom that he was being crushed under at hearing those words. Those horrible words, uttered from a total fucking stranger’s mouth. Nikki was dead, he was gone forever, he would never look into his green eyes again, and what was the last thing that Tommy had even said to Nikki? It sure as hell wasn’t ‘I love you’ or anything that would have told the bassist that he was Tommy’s entire universe, because he was goddamnit.

No, his last words were spoken in rage and Tommy didn’t think he could handle this much, he was choking, he was dying, but death would be preferable at this point, because his options were either die, or live a life without Nikki.

Not even feeling or acknowledging the tears on his cheeks that fell from his puffy eyes, Tommy brought a hand up and put it over his chest, feeling his heart pump pump pumping under his fingertips and let out what could only be described as a primal wail.

He willed his heart to fall still under his fingers because nothing could be worse than this, nothing could be worse than this raw, gnawing pain that seemed to start in his chest and overtake his whole being. He could feel Vince’s hand on his shoulder, but the touch of comfort only burned him. He didn’t want the comfort, he didn’t want to feel comfort in a world where Nikki no longer existed.

Vince was definitely yelling his name now, lightly smacking his cheek in a sorry attempt to get him to snap out of the trance he had fallen in, but Tommy felt like he was underwater. Everything was coming out muffled, his ears felt stuffed full and most of all he felt like he was drowning, suffocating under the weight of the information he had just learned from these total fucking strangers.

Tommy forced himself to make eye contact with his lead singer, taking in the unshed tears in the blonde’s eyes that were overflowing with a mixture of grief for his late bandmate, and overwhelming concern for the one he left behind.

He wanted to talk to Vince, to lie and tell him that he was okay but he needed to go process this information alone, but he just couldn't bring his brain to form a coherent lie. He opened his mouth to speak, and all that came out were strangled sobs as he reached up to grab fistfuls of his own hair, tugging on the dark locks out of pure desperation. He felt Vince’s hands under his armpits, and he realized he must have been falling at some point, struggling to keep his own feet underneath him, but it was like all his body even knew how to do in this moment was cry.

“Tommy- Jesus Christ man- I don’t- I’m so fucking sorry- I…” Vince looked absolutely lost, completely unsure what to say, and wrecked if Tommy was being honest, and despite really wanting to comfort his friend of so many years, because Vince had lost Nikki too, Tommy did the only thing he physically could at the moment- he told Vince the truth.

“I- I wish I was fucking dead too, Vin- I can’t…”

Tommy regretted allowing that feeling to slip past his lips immediately as he looked into the widening eyes of his frontman, and as Vince opened his lips to respond, Tommy was turning and sprinting out of the club, shoving past anyone in his way. He could vaguely hear Vince yelling his name behind him and the fading sound of Vince’s boots pounding behind him.

Tommy was gratefu thatl the adrenaline and his longer legs could get him the fuck out of there, away from Vince’s worried eyes, away from those strangers who knew that his boyfriend was dead before he even did, and away from that nightmare of a club.

He knew he’d never be able to step foot in that place ever again.

—-

Tommy wasn’t sure how he even made it to Nikki’s house, honestly. Everything leading up to this moment was a blur in time, making Tommy question how long it had even been since he heard the devastating news.

Not that it mattered, time had no meaning to the drummer anymore.

Raising his hand to knock on the door, the younger man stopped himself and let out a sob at the realization that there was no fucking point in knocking. No one lived here anymore.

So Tommy took out his spare key instead, the metal seemingly burning in his hands as he opened the door to the house he had entered so many times, but now that would never be the same.

There would be no more late night conversations in this house, no more early morning make out sessions- morning breath and all. No more hiding out in Nikki’s music room, writing lyrics and banging out drum fills until the sun rose through the tall windows of Nikki’s second story. No more pathetic attempts at surprising Nikki with brunch- only to set off every single fire alarm the bassist had in the house. No more smiling, no more laughter, no more making love.

Not in this house and not anywhere in the drummer’s life, ever again.

Tears were giving way to anger at this point. Anger at himself for not just flushing all of Nikki’s shit, anger at Nikki for not just coming home with him tonight, and anger at the universe for taking the best thing in Tommy’s life and keeping it somewhere where he would never be able to reach.

That anger needed an outlet, and that outlet came in the form of absolutely destroying anything that the drummer could get his hands on. Everything pissed him off to look at. Everything in this house was just a horrible reminder of what he had lost and in that moment, Tommy wanted everything to feel just as wrecked as he did.

Ignoring the sting in his hands as he threw various vases, records, and other breakable objects against the walls, Tommy was oblivious to the tears that flowed from his eyes as his fist made contact with the TV screen and his foot kicked a sizable hole in his late boyfriend’s drywall.

Tommy’s chest was heaving with the struggle to take in air as he knelt on the floor in the wreckage he had created. Nikki’s place was unrecognizable, and he could feel his knees stinging from the sharp prick of the broken glass he was kneeling in- and where the fuck did that come from, anyway?

Tommy could finally see the scene around him, as his body had run out of tears. The tears had dried up, his body had no more to give, but the sobs remained, choking him in a vice like grip around his throat, and all Tommy could think was he wished that these sobs could actually choke him to death, so he could see Nikki and tell him that he loved him, and that he didn’t mean a goddamn word he said when they had all those stupid fucking fights.

As Tommy continued to survey the scene around him, he noticed a baggie poking out from underneath Nikki’s couch, and he knew instantly what that baggie contained.

Heroin was never his drug of choice, he preferred the euphoric burst of energy and unbridled emotions that cocaine gave him. Tommy loved feeling emotions, everything he felt, he felt in excess, it had always been that way, so the synthetic effects of cocaine on his emotions were always a good time to the drummer.

At first, Tommy could feel nothing but all encompassing anger surging through his veins the longer he looked at the corner of that baggie, because that evil shit took his Nikki away, but the more Tommy thought about it, the more he realized that Nikki took those drugs because they numbed him, and there was nothing on this Earth that Tommy wanted more than for this pain to go away.

It was as if his body was on autopilot, and he was now standing with the small bag clenched in his fist, relishing in the sting of his fingernails digging into his palm. He shuddered as his choking sobs dwindled down to hiccups. What was the point of life without Nikki anyways? How the fuck would he ever feel joy again after this night? Tommy just wanted for everything to just stop.

Tommy had only done this devil drug once before, the curiosity surrounding the drug turned into an impulse decision one late night a few months prior, in this very house, with the very man he was mourning.

Tommy was laying on Nikki’s bed, watching as the bassist started to nod off from the drugs injected only moments ago. Tommy frowned at the sight of the bloody needle now laying loosely in the man’s open fist, the object mesmerized the drummer. That tiny object brought his boyfriend so much pleasure, he was almost jealous.

“What does it feel like?” The younger man asked, not for the first time. He was always curious, the euphoric look on Nikki’s face after shooting up had always seemed to outdo any other drug that he subjected himself to, and Tommy just wanted to know what the hype was about.

“You wanna find out?” Nikki had murmured back, his response slightly delayed as his cloudy mind processed the other man’s words. Even in his hazy state, it took the bassist by surprise when Tommy stated that he did, in fact, want to shoot up.

Tommy didn’t remember much from that night aside from Nikki’s still hands calming his shaking arm, nerve’s wracking his lanky frame as the older man plunged the liquid poison into his veins.

He also remembered Nikki’s hands rubbing up and down his back, holding his hair back, and Nikki’s voice soothing him as he emptied his stomach into the toilet for what must have been the 5th time that night.

After that night Tommy had sworn to never use heroin again. He didn’t like the nausea or the feeling of being numb. He didn’t understand why Nikki would ever want to feel so empty all of the time, but right now, it seemed like Tommy’s only way out of this nightmare.

With shaking hands Tommy moved to the closet where he knew Nikkis kept his rigs and clean needles. With a pang in his chest he wondered if he should have fought harder to stop his boyfriend from destroying himself, if as angry as he had been with Nikki this whole time, if this was actually his fault all along. If he could have saved the bassist from himself after all, if he had just flushed his shit and forced him into rehab.

The thought of that was too painful to bear.

Having watched Nikki do this so many times Tommy felt almost proud of himself in a sick way for knowing exactly how to do this. Taking the now prepared syringe over to Nikki’s well worn in couch he sat on the floor with his back resting against the couch, and took a deep breath. A quick, borderline hysterical laugh escaped his lips as he realized he was really going to do this.

He was such a fucking hypocrite.

For the first time in his life, Tommy relished in the pain that came from prick of the needle instead of cringing away from it, because it was the first time since hearing the news that Tommy felt anything besides the pain of losing Nikki.

As he pushed the plunger down Tommy relished in the warm escape, taking note of the lack of nausea he felt this time.

‘Hey maybe Nikki was right, it does go away.’ Tommy’s hand fell away loosely and his head lolled forward as the drugs coursed through his veins, and he felt his overwhelming emotional pain ebb away into an undeniable bliss.

The last coherent thought that Tommy had before succumbing to the warm darkness around him was of piercing green eyes and long black hair.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nikki’s first thoughts upon waking up in the hospital were of Tommy. Of course they were, he loved that boy, and he had said horrible fucking things to him, he missed him, he needed him.

He felt alone for the first time since Tommy and he had made themselves official.

He didn’t focus on anything the doctors were saying, didn’t listen to their cries of protest as he ripped  out his IV, feeling the blood dripping down to his wrist for the second time that day, to shove his way out of the hospital doors before anyone could keep him longer, preventing him from seeing the only thing that could really heal him at the moment. He wanted, no needed, to see Tommy to explain for himself what had happened, that it had been an accident, he never meant to leave him. He couldn’t imagine if the roles were reversed, and he was under the impression that the love of his life had died without him and with a needle in his arm.

The thought made him sick.

His first thought was to go straight to Tommy’s place, but when he arrived, his heart dropped when he saw that the other man’s car was nowhere to be found. Shaking his head in defeat, he used his key to enter anyway, disappointed but not surprised when he found the apartment empty and dark. Rushing into the kitchen, he picked up Tommy’s phone and dialed his own phone number, slamming the phone down in frustration when he hit his own voicemail.

Nikki took a deep breath and dialed Vince’s number, hoping that the singer might know the whereabouts of his missing boyfriend.

Tommy didn’t know it, but Nikki had asked Vince several times in rare moments of drunken vulnerability to always watch after Tommy if he couldn't, and he prayed that the singer had held up his promise that he would.

“Tommy! Jesus fuck, man, thank god you’re okay.” That was not what Nikki had hoped to hear, and the crack in Vince’s intensely relieved voice did nothing to sooth the burning pit in his stomach when he learned that no- Tommy wasn’t with Vince, and he seemed pretty fucking worried about the drummer.

“Listen, Tommy, it was a big fucking misunderstanding. Just stay there and I’m gonna come over there right now and we can go to the hospital-” Nikki couldn't listen to anymore of this, and cut the other man off before he could continue.

“Wait up, Vince, it’s me.” Shocked silence met Nikki’s ear in reply, and god dammit Vince, you choose now to shut up?

“It’s Nikki, Vin. I’m trying to find Tommy, where the fuck is he? Why wouldn’t he be okay?” The bassist could hear the desperation in his own voice as he spoke, and willed Vince to open his fucking mouth because one more minute of not knowing where his scared, hurting boyfriend was was probably going to kill him and-

“Nikki? Oh god, you fucking idiot, it’s so good to hear your voice. I don't know what to do, Nik, Tommy lost his shit on me when he heard you were dead, and has been missing ever since. I’ve never seen him like that, he kept talking all this nonsense about wanting to die too, he ran and he was too fucking fast that long legged motherfucker-” Nikki slammed the phone down back onto it’s base not even bothering to respond as sprinted out the front door and hailed the first taxi that came by, spewing out the address to his home in Van Nuys. He hoped that he would find Tommy at the place that held the majority of their memories.

He also hoped he didn’t fucking puke on the way there, because the thought of Tommy running away after finding out his boyfriend was dead and talking about wanting to join him made Nikki’s stomach lurch more than his own overdose ever could.

Upon arriving at his house, he knew that something was off when he noticed that his front door was unlocked. Now on high alert he walked slowly through the threshold and paused, shocked at the sight in front of him.

The house was absolutely trashed. Not in a ‘party that got too out of hand’ way though, no this was done with intent. Before he could dwell too much on the state of his place he noticed a figure on his couch and the image before him would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Nikki swore his heart stopped for the second time that day upon seeing his boyfriend slumped against the couch, needle sticking out of his arm with blood dried all the way down to his wrist, looking all but dead with his skin a shade paler than normal, and his dark hair falling in front of his face.

Nikki wanted to move, wanted to go shake shake shake Tommy until he woke up, until he saw those beautiful brown eyes that he never failed to get lost in, but his feet were glued to the floor.

This was his fucking fault.

He chose to blow the love of his fucking life off for fucking heroin, continued to do so for fucking months, got himself killed, and wouldn’t it be so fucking ironic if Nikki was given a second chance at life, only to find Tommy dead from a drug overdose?

It was like the universe knew that the only thing worse to Nikki than being dead, is not having Tommy, and it wasn’t hesitating to throw that terrifying piece of information right into Nikki’s face.

Begging his feet to move, his body finally listened to his brain as he stumbled towards Tommy, falling forward onto his hands and knees to crawl himself towards the drummer, fear still knotting up his gut.

His fingers itched to touch Tommy, to move the hair out of his face, feel his neck for a pulse, do something, ANYTHING. It took his mind a few seconds to convince his body to move, and Nikki sobbed in relief when his fingertips came into contact with a warm, very much alive cheek.

Suddenly feeling as if he had control of his body again, Nikki was pulling the needle out of his boyfriend's arm gently, as if moving too quickly could harm the drummer despite his unconscious state. Looking at the drummer's slack face had hot, fat tears running down the older man's face for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Pulling Tommy into his arms, feeling the familiar weight that he had held in his embrace for so many nights was almost too much for Nikki. His own trauma that he had endured that night, as well as looking at the pain that he had caused the love of his life made holding tears in impossible. He made no effort to hold back his sobs as he sniffled, and felt concern bubble up when Tommy let out no acknowledgment of his presence other than a soft grunt that could have easily been missed if the bassist hadn't been so hyper aware of everything involving his boyfriend at the moment.

Tommy hated smack, Nikki knew that. He didn't like the way smack made him feel and he didn't like that it took Nikki away from him, and the needle laying a few feet away where Nikki had tossed it and the blood staining Tommy's arm was a horrible reminder that he did this to Tommy.

Nikki knew he should move Tommy off of the filthy ground, get him out of this mess of debris and broken glass, but for the moment he was just going to hold him, and bury his face in his hair to dry the tears off of his cheeks. Inhaling with a small smile at the pleasant smell that wafted from the drummer’s hair, Nikki pushed his face a little deeper into it to try to get more, as if the smell could take away the absolute shitshow that was going on around him.

Tommy had just gotten a new shampoo recently, and Nikki remembered how much Tommy's eyes had lit up when Nikki commented on it, as if he couldn't believe that the bassist had noticed. Which was fair, considering he barely noticed anything other than when his smack supply was getting low these days.

So Nikki sat there, holding his boyfriend and praying- yes praying- that wherever Tommy was in his heroin induced haze he knew that he wasn't alone.

That Nikki was here, he didn't leave him all alone.

That despite Nikki's harsh words and distant attitude lately, he fucking loved him, and he was so, so sorry. As he sat there holding the younger boy, he finally had the chance to survey the destruction around them. He couldn’t picture his loving and kind Tommy possessing enough anger to cause this big of a mess. His eyes widened as he noticed that among the shattered whiskey bottles and- jesus, was that his record collection?- sat the collection of, now broken, awards that Motley had won over the years.

Could Tommy really love Nikki so much that the news of his ‘death’ could cause this much of a reaction?

Reaching down to cup the drummers lax face in his hand Nikki felt his tears return as he realized that his death would have an effect on his sweet boy. This had to end, because while Nikki could live with killing himself, at least this version of himself, he knew there was no part of him in this life or the afterlife that could live with killing Tommy.

As badly as Nikki’s fingers itched to go find whatever smack he had left in the house and shoot it to bury this overwhelming guilt at seeing his boyfriend passed out from a drug he despised in the middle of all this wreckage, instead Nikki was standing, picking up his lover’s lank form in his arms to make his way up the stairs to his bedroom.

Carrying Tommy proved to be harder than anticipated because despite the drummer’s naturally skinny form, Nikki’s own body had gotten dangerously thin these days due to his diet which consisted entirely of drugs.

Nevertheless, Nikki made it up the stairs on sheer willpower alone- he was NOT letting Tommy sleep in that fucking wreckage. Laying Tommy on top of the covers as gently as he could, supporting his boyfriend’s lulling head, Nikki wanted to cry at just how much Tommy looked like he was just sleeping.

So peaceful. But of course he was peaceful. Tommy was in a world where his boyfriend was alive, hadn’t overdosed on heroin, hadn’t selfishly chose drugs over someone he claimed to love every single fucking day.

Nikki lay down beside Tommy, gently rolling Tommy over so he could spoon him from behind, holding him tightly to his chest just like he did every night when he slept.

Nikki let his tears fall, hoping and praying that when Tommy woke up, he would recognize the familiarity of their position, and recognize the arms that held him like this.

Nikki pressed a kiss into Tommy’s hair on the back of his head, trying desperatly to keep his tired eyelids open as he listened to his boyfriend’s breathing, wondering how the fuck he was going to fix this, how he was going to remedy this situation when he didn’t even deserve Tommy in the first place.

——-

When Tommy’s eyes blearily opened hours later, the first thing that registered was- fuck his head hurt. The second thing that registered was the flood of overwhelming emotions and the sting of hot tears when he remembered the events of the previous night. The third thing that registered that he was in Nikki’s bed and someone was behind him, holding on for dear life- but wait- he knew those arms and it couldn't be true-

Turning over in the tight hold the older man had on him, Tommy felt lightheaded as his eyes met the shimmering green ones that he had been chasing in his split second decision to shoot up Nikki’s remaining stash.

Nikki looked horrible, he was covered in a sheen of sweat that Tommy very clearly recognized as the withdrawal sweats, and his eyes were bloodshot from what looked like a combination of exhaustion and tears.

“I’m dead”. Tommy croaked out, because that was the only reasonable explanation. This had to be heaven, but fuck, who let heaven give him such a bad fucking migraine? Or maybe it was hell, and they let him wake up in Nikki’s arms, only to drag him away later. Tommy didn’t think he could survive that though, even in hell.

An appropriate punishment though, for allowing his boyfriend to die thinking Tommy didn’t want him around anymore.

Tommy watched Nikki’s face contort with the most pained expression he had ever seen from the bassist, and his breath caught when Nikki shook his head.

“You’re not dead, baby boy, and neither am I.”

Tommy couldn't speak, so he settled for just staring into Nikki’s eyes. His beautiful green eyes, that were always Tommy’s favorite part of Nikki. They looked so real and so alive, but Tommy was afraid to believe.

“They brought me back baby, the EMT’s brought me back. I’m… I’m so fucking sorry.”

From there it was all fists clenched into T-shirt’s, tears soaking into hair, sobs getting lost into shoulders and hurried kisses pressed against heated skin.

“This won’t happen again baby.. You.. you mean so much more to me than anything, Tommy, anything, and I swear I’m getting off of this shit for you.”

“I didn’t mean it Nik, not a goddamn fucking word-“

“Stop baby, you don't have to explain, I know. It was all me, I was an asshole, I put the thing that was gonna fucking kill me above the thing trying to save me, and I’m so sorry, I swear to fucking god Tommy, never again.”

Tommy pulled his head out of its hiding spot in Nikki’s shoulder, and one look at the bassist’s teary, but determined face let Tommy know that yeah, Nikki meant it. He was so used to Nikki’s lying face by now, the face he gets when he just tells Tommy what he wants to hear, and this isn’t it.

So Tommy thumbed away his boyfriend’s tears, feeling his own slip down his face as he pressed a desperate, longing kiss to Nikki’s lips, smiling as he felt them tremble as they pushed back with just as much desperation.

And just like that, Tommy could breathe again.

[yesmooshoe]

Pepperony Smut-Mas, day 5!

Day 5! Honestly, I had to stop myself from writing 10,000 words about this AU tonight so that I would work on other Smut-Mas fics. I’d like to write more of this, so please let me know what you think!

Day 5 - Escort Pepper AU

Rating: Explicit

Words: 2627ish

Summary:  It's Tony's 21st birthday and he is still a virgin, so Obie has taken the liberty of hiring someone to help him out. 

Read this and previous chapters on AO3!

Or read here...

Pepper glanced down at the room number again just to double check, not wanting to knock on the wrong door. She was a little nervous about tonight, not quite sure what to expect when she got to the room. The night already hadn’t gone as planned, but she was just doing her best to roll with it. Mr. Stane was paying her 3 times her normal rate and with her tuition payments due next week she’d be willing to do almost anything. At first she thought that she’d be spending the evening with him, but when he met her in the bar at the hotel he informed her that he had something else in mind.

It was Tony Stark’s 21st birthday and he was still a virgin, which was something that Mr. Stane wanted to rectify.

Pepper knew who Tony Stark was. He’d made a lot of headlines after getting his Bachelor’s Degree at age 17 and his Masters at 19. Mr. Stane told her that he was now working on a double Doctorate, which took up so much of his time that he never really got the chance to meet people. It didn’t seem like this was his idea and she felt a little bad for the kid, but this was her job and she certainly wasn’t going to leave that much money on the table. After signing a quick Non-Disclosure Agreement printed on official Stark Industries letterhead, she took the slip of paper with the room number written on it and headed upstairs.

She took a deep breath before knocking. Even though she’d been doing this for well over two years now and hadn’t had any bad experiences so far, she always got a bit nervous.

“Oh god! Just a minute!” She heard a muffled voice yell out from behind the door. He sounded a little frazzled which eased Pepper’s mind a bit, and she figured he must have been pretty nervous too. When he swung the door open Pepper couldn’t help but smile because didn’t look like any other client she’d ever had.

Her usual guys were well dressed middle-aged executives in town for conferences or lonely, rich widowers just looking for a good time.

Tony was a little shorter than her, though she was wearing some pretty crazy heels at the moment. He was had on a striped yellow t-shirt, jeans and black Chuck Taylors. His hair was pretty floofy and he had a bit of scruff, like he hadn’t shaved in a day or so. He was kind of cute, actually, even if he did look a bit tired. Honestly, he looked like a lot of the boys she went to school with.

“Happy Birthday, Mr. Stark.” Pepper said warmly.

“Uh...thanks! You can uh, you can call me Tony.” He replied nervously.

“You’re welcome, Tony. Are you going to invite me in?”

“Oh! Right! Yes yes, come in.” He said as he stepped aside.

Pepper shrugged her leather jacket off as she entered the room, revealing the short, skin-tight blue dress she was wearing underneath. The room was nice, but nothing too fancy. The escort service that she worked for had some sort of deal worked out with the owners, so she’d been there many many times, and they often used this hotel to entertain high-profile clients in Boston when discretion was required.

She turned back to look at Tony, who hadn’t moved since shutting the door. He had his back up against it and looked like he was on the verge of freaking out, his eyes wide with terror. She cocked her head and narrowed his gaze at him, trusting her gut instinct from earlier which told her that this wasn’t his idea. “Tony? Are you ok? You know...we don’t have to do this.”

“Huh?”

"This ? We don’t have to do this. Mr. Stane told me why he was hiring me, you know. So if you’re not ready, that’s OK.” She said with a smile, hoping that he’d take a deep breath and calm down. A middle-aged man hiring a hooker for his business partner’s 21-year-old virgin son had felt pretty gross to her from the start, but she wasn’t here to judge. She was just here to do a job. Still, if Tony didn’t want to do this she wasn’t going to force him too.

His cheeks flushed deeply as Pepper spoke and he just looked at the ground. “Great. So Obie told you I’m a hopeless virgin, huh?”

“He didn’t use the word hopeless , and there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, Tony. It’s ok. Really. And if you don’t want to do this then we can watch TV for 4 hours and then I’ll ruffle up my hair and head on out if that’ll get him off your back. He seemed a little intense.”

After two and a half years of doing this, Pepper had gotten pretty good at reading men and talking to them. More often than not the guys who hired her needed someone to talk to just as much as they needed to get laid.

Tony sighed and released the tension in his shoulders as he walked towards her. “He means well. He does. He cares about me and he’s just trying to get my dad off my back, actually. I just...I just work a lot, you know? And I’ve never had a girlfriend or anything and he’s convinced that I’m gay and being kind of an asshole about it so...I think Obie is just hoping that this’ll jump-start things for me. I don’t know.” He explained as he leaned against the dresser with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Are you...gay? Because if you are just say the word and I can get someone else more to your liking here in 30 minues.” Pepper offered.

Tony actually smiled for the first time that night and looked up at her. “No, I’m not gay. Not really. I don’t - I mean - No, I’m not gay.”

She decided to let the not really comment slide for now, but filed that away for later as she let him continue.

“I was mortified when we turned up here and Obie told me what his plan was for the evening, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to. I really want to have sex, I do. I just...it just hasn’t happened. And I keep getting more and more anxious about it, you know? And I’m not - like, hiring hookers is not - I mean - fuck , sorry. Is hooker a good word to use? I guess you’re technically and escort. But, it’s not something I’d ever thought about doing because it seemed weird but after I thought about it for a while, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. It’d be an opportunity for me to experiment! And collect some empirical data. And figure some stuff out in a controlled environment while eliminating some outside factors, like the fear of entering into a relationship or anything, you know? Also wow, you’re very pretty.”

Pepper just chuckled as Tony rambled, glad to see him relaxing a bit. “Right. So we’re just going to workshop some stuff then, yeah? See what works, what doesn’t work. Collect data. Make adjustments?” She asked, stepping towards him.

“Yes! Precisely. So, to answer your question, yes . I want to do this. I just have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve read some stuff, and watched some porn, but no real - uh - hands on experience. Other than my own.” He admitted as he dropped his hands to his sides while she approached him. “Do - do you  want to do this? You’re not like kept chained up to a radiator in between jobs so that you can pay off a debt or something right? Cuz if you are I can help.”

Pepper was a bit taken aback by this. She’d never once had a client ask her anything like that. They usually didn’t care all that much about her, which was fine. She was being paid to make them feel good, not for them to give a shit about her. She pressed her body against his and felt the growing erection in his jeans as she cupped his cheek with her hand.

He was really cute.

“The people that I work for are very good to me, so don’t worry. I just want to do my job, and for the next four hours, my job is to do whatever you want me to do. And I am very good at my job. So. What do you want?” She asked while running her thumb in circles over his cheek. Tony laughed nervously, unsure of what to do with his hands.

“Can you tell me your name first?”

“Pepper.”

“ Pepper? Is that your real name?”

“It’s my real name right now.” She teased.

“Fine. How old are you? How long have you been doing this?”

“I’m 20, and I’ve been doing this since I was 18. You still haven’t answered my question though. What do you want?”

She could feel Tony’s erection straining against his jeans, and at this point all that she wanted was for him to not cum in his pants. Not that she would have cared, but she guessed that would be pretty embarrassing for him.

“Everything.” He replied quietly while finally resting his hands on her hips.

“Well, you’re young and I’m sure we’ll be able to get in a few rounds over the next 4 hours. We wont quite get to everything, but we’ll try. Where do you want to start? You’re in charge here.” She said, deciding not to move from this position until she was given something more to go on. If he really was going to treat this entire evening as some sort of experiment she wanted him to decide what he wanted to do.

“Uh - b - blowjob? Could you? Can we start with that? Is that ok? I don’t know what - “

“A blowjob sounds great.” She said, cutting him off before he started rambling too much again.

She grabbed his hand and led him to the bed before playfully pushing him down onto it. He just sat on the edge, propped up on his elbows with a huge smile on his face.

“I really like your dress. It looks great on you.”

“It looks even better crumpled up on the floor, I promise you.” She teased. “Do you want me to take it off?”

“No, leave it on for now. And the shoes. Definitely leave the shoes on.” He said as he ran his hand over the bulge in his pants.

“Of course.”

Pepper knelt down in front of him while running her hands up and down his thighs. He looked practically giddy, like he was realizing for the first time that this was actually going to happen.

“What should I do?” He asked, his nervousness rearing its ugly head again.

“Take your shirt off.” She instructed while she ran her hands up to the snap on his jeans. He complied almost immediately, and as he tossed it aside she undid his pants and started to pull them and his underwear down. He lifted his hips a bit to help her out and inhaled a sharp breath as his cock sprang free to rest against his toned stomach. Pepper bit her lip at the sight of it, pleased with how big it actually was. “Well, it seems you’re ready for this, huh?”

“Yeah.” He squeaked out as his breathing intensified.

She just smiled at him as she took a moment to pull off his shoes and socks before removing the rest of his clothes completely. She ran her hands back up his newly exposed thighs, savoring the sight of him. While she always told herself she’d never let her own feelings affect her performance, she couldn’t deny the fact that she had more fun when she found herself attracted to a client, and with every passing moment the allure of the nervous nerd in front of her intensified.

When she wrapped her hand around his cock for the first time, it looked like Tony’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. She moved her hand up and down slowly, using some of his precum to aid in her strokes. Soon she began to tease the head of his cock with her thumb while just enjoying watching him. She wasn’t doing anything particularly mind-blowing by her standards, but Tony seemed to be having a great time, which was all that mattered.

She got up onto her knees and and ran her tongue slowly up the underside of his cock, eliciting a soft moan from the man above her. “You like that, huh?”

“Yeah.” Tony replied breathlessly, unable to do or say much more.

“Good. Because there’s so much more where that came from.” She said with a grin before running her tongue around the tip of his cock as she continued to stroke him slowly. His precum mixed with her saliva gave her a bit more freedom to pick up the pace, and she did just that as she finally took him into her mouth.

“Oh shit.” She heard him mutter out above her.

She started slow, running her tongue around his tip and while her lips were wrapped around him, but soon she began bobbing her head up and down, taking as much of him into her mouth as she could while using her hand to take care of the rest. He was mostly silent, only letting out a few short, quiet moans as Pepper began to pick up the pace.

She started running her free hand up and down his side, eventually snaking it up to run over his chest where she began to tease his nipple a bit, hoping that would be enough to push him over the edge. He seemed to be fighting it though, wanting to last as long as he could, which she found really endearing.

Her strokes continued and she looked up at him and spoke. “You’re so big Tony. I can’t even take all of you at once. Come on baby, let go. Let me taste you.” She almost purred out before returning her lips to his cock.

With a few more strokes he cried out as he came, and Pepper eagerly swallowed down every bit of cum that he gave her, continuing to stroke him through his orgasm, licking the tip of his cock like a lollipop. She pulled his softening cock out of her mouth with a bit of a pop, which was something she’d perfected over the years. She sat up a bit, running one hand over his stomach while she used the other to wipe a bit of cum away from the corner of her lips. She sucked her finger clean while he stared at her, mouth agape, and she couldn’t help but giggle a bit as she climbed up next to him on the bed.

“Well, how was that for some empirical data?” She teased before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Good results. Very good results. We might need to try that again though at some point to see if we reach the same conclusion. Just to be thorough.”

“Whatever you want. It’s your birthday and until midnight I am all yours. I’m gonna raid the minibar while you recover though, all right? Do you want me to make you a drink?” She asked as she sat up. She wasn’t sure what Tony had in store for her for the rest of the night, but she was looking forward to it no matter what. She was having fun so far and really trusted him, which didn’t always happen.

[71tenseventeen]

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)-8

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7

Warnings for sexual content, male pregnancy, non-hockey Sid. Sid and Taylor’s ages have been altered to fit the story.

Perpetual credit to my betas, @queen-alia and @icosahedonist as well as the GC and @ljummen.

They meet at a quiet pizza place at Sid’s suggestion.

As soon as Sid sees Geno on the sidewalk he realizes it was a mistake. He already has people stopping him and Sid can see the stress lines around his eyes as he glances up and back to the people around him.

Sid has no idea what the protocol is but he suspects it’s better if he stays out of all of that so he tips his head toward the door of the restaurant and ducks in, grabbing them a table in the corner of the dark, quiet dining room.

It takes another ten minutes before Geno finally ducks into the restaurant looking very harried but at least he’s alone. He immediately spots and heads for Sid, carefully avoiding eye contact with the handful of other patrons. He gets stopped anyhow and politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with a family of four before he finally makes it to the table looking more than a little stressed.

“Sorry, Sid. I was hoping since it Tuesday afternoon would maybe not be such a big problem.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should have known. Next time we’ll figure something else out, okay?”

Geno nods, looking very grateful.

“So…” they both start after an awkward moment and it breaks the tension. Sid gives a quiet laugh and Geno’s face softens.

Sid thinks maybe, finally, they can relax.

Of course that’s when a waiter arrives at their table and starts his welcome spiel before stopping completely and exclaiming, “Whoa! Geno! Hey man!”

“Hello,” Geno says cordially, but Sid can see the lines forming around his eyes again.

The waiter, “Braden,” he informs them as he shakes Geno’s hand and ignores Sid completely, is grinning ear to ear and turns long enough to call in the general direction of the kitchens. “Yo, Frank! You gotta get out here! We got Geno Malkin in the house!”

Sid sees Geno slump in defeat and sits quietly as he politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with what must be every staff member there… and a couple of construction workers who hadn’t bugged him when he came in. As far as get-togethers go, this is a disaster.

Geno finally asks Braden to please give them a minute with the menu and turns to Sid with a pinched expression, talking low and fast. “Sid, okay if we get food to go? I take us somewhere private to eat and talk. Don’t think this going to work.” He says it like he’s asking permission and Sid feels terrible.

“Yeah, of course.”

That’s all it takes for Geno to motion Braden back over.

It takes another twenty five minutes before they’re actually leaving the restaurant with bags of food and a pizza, Geno having left a generous tip.

He pulls his hat down over his eyes and seems to be trying to hunch in on himself even though there was no way someone that big is going to be able to hide. Sid follows quietly and they make it to Geno’s car with only a couple of people stopping him. As soon as Geno slides into the driver’s seat, he drops his head back and lets out a deep breath.

“Really sorry, Sid.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for suggesting this place.”

“Not be sorry. Let’s just go eat. Hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Geno turns to him with furrowed brows. “You ok? Need to eat and drink now?”

“No, I can wait. I feel okay.”

Geno’s face relaxes a little then and he nods. “Okay.”

He takes them to the arena. It’s the last place Sid expected to find himself but it makes sense. When they go in, no one does anything more than give him a wave. Certainly no one seems concerned that he’s toting a bunch of takeout bags and has a stranger trailing along beside him.

And that’s how Sid finds himself eating pasta and pizza in the Penguins’ team kitchen.

It’s Sid’s turn to be jumpy, glancing nervously at the door every few seconds until Geno explains, “No practice here today. Not expect anyone around or I take us to private conference room.”

Sid breathes out in relief. “Okay.”

“So—” they both start again and Geno laughs.

Maybe this won’t be as bad as Sid feared.

Geno is enthusiastic about any mention of the baby and wants to know all about Sid’s appointments with the ‘baby doctor.’  He listens to every tiny detail—from the baby’s heart rate to Sid’s blood pressure—with rapt attention and asks what seems like a hundred questions.

Sid doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have a conversation about the pregnancy that isn’t revolving around what a crisis it is.

He likes how easy it is to talk once they’re relaxed, that Geno actually takes interest in his life. He isn’t just asking questions to have something to talk about—he genuinely listens to Sid’s answers and asks more questions, seeming to want to know everything he can.

He asks about Sid’s studies at the university and Sid spends several minutes talking about the courses he plans to take and his plan to teach someday. In turn, Sid asks him about hockey and they spend a good half an hour talking about the upcoming season. Geno seems pleasantly surprised at Sid’s interest and knowledge.

From there the conversation turns back to the pregnancy and Geno asks if Sid has talked to his family in the last couple of days. “For a few minutes last night. I told them I told you about the baby.”

Geno fiddles with the edge of his cup. “They know is me?”

“No. I didn’t tell them that much.”

“What they say when you tell them I know?”

Sid shrugs. “Not much. My parents are still hoping I’ll change my mind, I guess. But my sister is happy.”

“Glad you have her, at least. Hope your parents come around.”

“What, um, what about your parents? Did you, um, tell them about…?” Sid glances down at his midsection.

“I not tell them yet, no.”

“Oh. Right.” Sid’s not sure what he expected and he works hard to push back the pang that’s threatening to bubble up inside him

“Going to tell them, Sid.”

“You don’t have to.”

Geno frowns. “Not keep something like this secret from them. Is just hard, try to figure out how to say. Worry how they respond.”

“You think they’ll, ah, be upset?”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Maybe. Probably.” He takes a deep breath. “Mama, Papa very close to me but they not really know about my private life. Just not sure how they react when they find out, you know.”

“Find out about the baby or…?” Sid feels like it probably doesn’t need to be said.

Geno nods. “In Russia, be with guy very bad. Not safe.”

“Yeah,” Sid swallows hard. For the first time he’s thinking about consequences beyond the scope of Pittsburgh and the NHL and he’s suddenly grateful he’s from Canada.  

“Not something I need to tell them before but now…”

“Right. Now I’m pregnant and fucked that up for you.”

Geno looks up and grabs Sid’s wrist. “You not fuck anything up, Sid. Take two people make this happen. Was my choice, too and I’m not regret.”

“Well, I’ll understand if you decide not to tell anyone. I mean, I’d get it.”

“Not going to be that way. Just have to figure out best way. Maybe not be easy but I do because it’s important. Besides, better to tell now than someone here find out and they hear in press.”

Sid looks up, struck again by all the things weighing on Geno with this pregnancy.

“I guess we should probably be more careful around town, too. I mean, if it got out it would be bad.”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Would be very bad. Here, maybe not as much but Russia… I probably can’t go back.”

“Oh god.  You can’t—” Sid shakes his head. Somewhere in his mind he knew it but hearing it like this brings it into stark contrast. “I can’t be the person responsible for that. I won’t tell anyone, Geno. I promise.”

“Not the kind of thing to keep secret forever. Eventually, baby born and grow. Seem impossible to keep thing like this secret.”

“We’ll do it, we’ll find a way.”

Geno shakes his head. “You really want that? Not so sure I do.”

Sid’s heart sinks. “What do you mean?”

“Even if we could keep total secret, what kind of life that be for our baby? What kind of life that be for us? Maybe not ideal and maybe some hard consequences but still a baby, still going to be child for us to raise. Our baby, Sid.”  To Sid’s surprise, Geno smiles and it fills him warmth.

“Only know for two days and already think about baby growing up. Want to teach him to skate and play hockey, want to take him to family skate and bring him to games.”

Sid realizes he’s smiling too. “Him?”

Geno’s grin brightens. “Have a feeling.”

“What if it’s a girl?”

“Not matter. Do all same thing. All that matter is she our baby, our family.” Geno’s smile stretches across his face. “We gonna get to love our little baby and watch him grow up. Maybe hard, little bit scary now but gonna be worth it, you know?”

And Sid suddenly has to blink back tears because in all the time he’s known about the pregnancy, he’d never felt like he could talk about his future with his baby, that he could look forward to it. It had hurt that everyone saw this as a burden, nothing but a crisis to manage. But now Geno is saying things out loud that Sid has barely felt allowed to even think privately.

“Yeah.” Sid has to swallow. “I do,” he breathes and he means it.  

“Wouldn’t trade for anything now that I know, Sid. Don’t care what happen.”

“But what about the team? The NHL, Russia?”

Geno meets his gaze. “We figure it out. Not want you worry about it, okay? Just focus on take care of you and take care of baby. Most important.”

Sid sighs. “I’ll try. I, um, I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days.”

Geno’s face lights up and Sid’s glad he told him. “When? Maybe I find way to go?”

“Friday at three.”

Geno frowns. “Have meeting.”

“Oh. Well, I…”

“I’m sorry.”

Sid takes a deep breath and forces himself to look at Geno. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you have responsibilities. Honestly, the fact that you care at all means a lot. So, don’t worry, okay?”

Geno nods, looking a little miserable. “You call me, tell how it goes?”

“For sure.”

“Maybe we get together after?”

Sid smiles because this is just all so much more and so much better than he ever expected. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Geno drives Sid back to where he’d parked earlier. It’s still crowded and Sid knows they can’t linger with Geno idling in a no parking zone so he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and pushes it into Geno’s hands before he gets out of the car.

“What this?”

“It’s not all of it, not even close but it’s part of what I owe you.”

Geno frowns. “Sid…”

“Not negotiable. See you Friday.” He closes the door before Geno can reply

Part 9

[fortheloveofcringe]

Dear Taylor Swift,

I wasn’t one of the fans who started during your first album, but I’m a Swiftie 4 lyf. You taught me lots of things and if you have time, kindly read this. I’m Hambert, I live in the Philippines and because of you, I honed my very own way of painting pictures through words because of your dedication to create an experience through literature and music. Back then, I was just a gay kid who loved K-pop music and wanted to just be in my own comfortable space, but I had so much to say, and was afraid of being ridiculed for it. I listened to your songs from your self-titled album and Fearless but I wasn’t a big fan, yet. But I appreciated the fact that no matter what you crafted, you always made sure that you focused on little things that made us excited and happy to be alive, plus the vivid scenes that you painted in my mind as a listener, it made me feel that no matter how limited my experience was in my subjective reality as a poor single mom’s child, you made me understand that words written from the heart will have more power than the words written in fear and hate.

I started becoming in love with your sweet careful storytelling during the Speak Now Era. I remember the cold day when someone shared online the prologue from the insert and  that day changed the way I think about messages and the process of communication.

I started becoming serious with writing after reading these words  from you, “There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.”

However, I am not proud to admit this but due to poverty, the only way for me to listen to your music back then was to download every track on YouTube that was uploaded on a random channel, obtained through a video downloader, played through a knock-off $3 iPod sold on the streets of our city and somehow, it was a sick pleasure.

That time was the first time you came to our country too, and I remember being spiteful of my truth, for being poor, that I was not able to attend such things and support you the way I wanted to support you in terms of artistic value. I felt ill knowing that this was how I was consuming your hardwork. So at an early age, I made sure I was able to find little jobs here and there to ensure stability, not just to support your craft but this circumstance also catapulted my belief in smart work and ensuring that my dreams wont be stuck in my head.

I was able to earn and make a living because of the drive I had, wherein that drive, that fire was sparked by your multi-colored lyric matchsticks, that lead to a rainbow blaze of desire to love my life despite being depressed at the same time for several circumstances, I can’t believe that was possible, to be able to still stand with bleeding feet.

When Red came out, I was already able to purchase your music and help my family, and you will never know how proud I was to be able to hold your Cd’s. It just felt so liberating to hold cold cash in my hands, too, for the first time in my life I felt so powerful. But it compromised my studies, I never liked being in school anyway, and I never was happy because the weird thing about life is that nothing will save you from yourself no matter how strong you think you are, and all I had was music to make me feel less alone and weak. Music stayed when people left me. When my father had 7 gunshots on his neck, my older brother, dark and frozen in his bed after cardiac arrest and my dear grandma who died in front of me because of complications caused by age.

The pain was so quick, but forgetting was so long. I have many red memories from different timelines, it made me guarded and when you released RED, I could have not been more thankful to you for being the boat that carried me through the oceans of pain and led me to a shore of peace, and acceptance.

I resigned from jobs that time, however. I’m not going to lie to you and say everything was fine by listening to you, but you helped to ease the pain I was going through. This was, as I call it my “Red light” moment, like in the traffic lights, I had to be still and re-assess.

Then Typhoon Yolanda (or Haiyan) was the worst thing that happened next in my reality. It took away a lot love and life from people around me, I remember my walk around the city after the deluge and I saw zombie-like people with no direction, I was heartbroken to see that, and it took your music away from me. I remember a rotten ache inside of me, a scream of useless anger when your cover inserts were covered in mud and the CD’s were flaking iridescent cracks. It’s crazy that no matter how much you value and protect things, there will always be occurrences when they will be taken away, just like that. My family was lucky that none of us got hurt, though, the scenes in my head from that storm, made me bitter. To see how these can just happen. My heart was turning to stone at every turn. I worked in different islands to recover. I had jobs where I was helping people out but nothing inside was healing.

You released 1989 and somehow, it started a culture of meditation in me. I made a deal with myself that if I recover what I lost, I would treat it with, let say, a sacred treatment. My way of listening to your music has changed. I never had actual fellow Swifties around me, so when you release an album and it gets delivered to me, I have a party for one. This party doesn’t start until I clean the WHOLE HOUSE, I read the lyrics and the notes you share, and then I take a long bath to make sure I’m ready to consume the gourmet of sonic cohesiveness.  What I’m saying is that these practices, induced by your art, has made me reconnect with my peaceful, artistic self, the one who I almost lost because of everything that has happened and also because of the changes. To tell you frankly I just love a clean house, now! kinda helps you with thinking when the insides are a mess.

When I saved enough and when my aunts and mother were able to support me, I went back to school. When you started the Reputation Era, I was already in my 2nd year in college and I became an Editor-In-Chief in the student publication office. I worked hard day and night, I won a gold medal at the Tertiary Schools Press Conference for it and I was so proud of myself. I became somebody for a hot minute, but you were right, people do throw rocks at things that shine and it made my life hard. I had the power to publish anything over anyone at school, even the corruption and the malpractices and it became a threat to the people above me. People started fighting me, accusing me of things, putting me in situations that I felt so trapped I couldn’t do anything but just stay at home. What I built from hard work, crumbled down because of crab-mentality. They dismantled my reputation. I had no explanation to anyone. I felt weak even If I knew I can fight, I know it’ll just make things worse. I had a full scholarship at that time, friends and student staff who adored me, but for my sake, I dropped everything.

I stopped studying. You release Reputation. You made an album of what exactly what I was facing. The lonely anger and the brimming flame of revenge raged, but that album came as an expression of healing for me. I didn’t feel so alone with what I was going through because of that. Reputation was the rain I needed to soften up and turn flames to smoke and disappear in the dew of a new day.

I met a lover too, for the first time in my life, and after six months he broke my heart. I made hundreds of poems out of it, because you taught me that no matter what you go through, prose, poetry and music will always be my friend. I am no longer a captive of my own darkness, now I just see iridescent skies. NOW, I just know, that the love and the kindness I give to myself will help me live longer. I don’t know what experiences will occur for me during the Lover Era but I can guarantee you I am brimming with hope and happiness now that it has begun, and oh, I’m back in college ma’am!

I met a Lover from myself and thank you for sharing such a wonderful, dawn of an album to us. Thank you for Lover.

I am not hoping for this to reach your attention, but I have faith with the way our universe works, especially when it comes to love. Thank you Taylor.

A Lover,

-Hambert

[batonpassport-blog]

Pokemon Press Conference 2019 recap

Sorry this is kinda late yall. I got home from work late last night and pretty much passed out. So I’m going to assume most of you have seen the news already, so I’ll just kinda do bullet points of major stuff.

First off, if you’re not a fan of Pokemon GO, most of this news won’t mean anything to you. But if you are a fan, hold on to your seats, cause we got some stuff to discuss.

1. Most applicable to the general Pokemon fanbase is the introduction of Pokemon HOME .A good name indeed as it seems to act as a “Home Base” of sorts for all your Pokemon. It’s a Cloud based service, available on Switch and mobile, that allows transferring of Pokemon from almost every game out there, including GO, Let’s Go Pika/Eevee, Pokemon Bank (3Ds games), and Sword and Shield upon their release. Judging by the chart they showed though, it appears that Pokemon can be sent to HOME from all of these places, but CANNOT be sent back with the exception of Sword and Shield. I don’t know if this will change at some point, but for now be aware that if you send Pokemon from GO, Let’s Go, or Bank, you WONT be able to send them back!!!

Pokemon HOME will also enable you to trade with close friends and globally on your phone, which is pretty cool :)

2. Detective Pikachu is getting a sequel on the Switch! Apparently its going to have a different ending than the movie. (I’ve also been considering posting a review of Detective Pikachu....Let me know if that’s something you guys would wanna see :3)

3. Pokemon Sleep is also coming to mobile in 2020 and seems to only impact Pokemon GO. It somehow uses the time users spend sleeping to aid in game experience. How?.....I honestly couldn’t tell you...But I’ll tell you more as I find out! In honor of this game, Pokemon GO is currently having a Snorlax event.

4. In hand with Pokemon Sleep, Pokemon GO Plus+ (yes that’s actually what it’s called) is being developed which acts like a typical Pokemon GO Plus device during the day but can track how long you sleep at night and send it to your mobile device. 

5. Pokemon Masters is yet another mobile game in development where you can battle masters of previous regions, including Blue, Cynthia, and Steven Stone.

6. Two minor bits of news are a variant of Pokemon Quest being released in China and a line of Pokemon shirts line featuring the original 151 Pokemon coming to North America and Europe.

That’s it for now,guys! Feel free to send me asks about your opinions and thoughts on these things! Look forward to hearing from you!

[spiritchronicle]

Conceiving the Spirit

Feeding the Spirit

Today I want to discuss what the spirit is, and how we feed it in order to progress in our spiritual path. The spirit as I have come to understand it, is the collection of mindfully chosen energy thought forms, that group together by vibration, frequency, color, etc, and have correlation and continuation, meaning that they are now a single “being” that will not disintegrate into individual thought forms anymore. This does not mean that once the spirit is formed, we are separate individuals that have no more connections to the rest of the universe, or that we cannot add more energy, or thought forms to our being, it simply means that there is now a “set form” that these energies have taken, and it knows what it’s energy consist off, and what is the best way for it to continue developing. This includes all memories of past lives, even though these thought forms might not have been in the same body at the same time, they were able to evolve enough to be attracted to one another, and incarnate in the same body, that would be most beneficial for them, with the purpose of birthing the spirit in that life time. 

Here we can discuss the theory that the One Being poses, explaining that we here on the surface of planet Tera do not have our spirit developed, and this is why we are not part of the universe, but live in an illusion outside of universal law. We also see this theory in many other books and materials like A Course In Miracles. These books also pose the theories of being able to work toward “waking up” and “spiritual enlightenment”  through different techniques that can help us understand true universal laws, that will permit us to connect directly to the divine, and draw knowledge and life directly from the one infinite creator, as opposed to our own ego self. 

We can begin by discussing different steps we can take to feed our spirit and develop it to the point of were we know ourselves fully and begin to understand these universal laws. 

Step 1: Calming the Mind

It is crucial that the first step in developing our universal consciousness be calming the mind. This might not apply to every person out there already practicing calming the mind, but I know this happens to most people, where we have trouble stopping the influx of thoughts that come our way throughout the day. This is the first space where we can practice consciously choosing what we want. Calming the mind can be anything from practicing mindfulness meditation, to taking 10 or 15 minutes of alone time to consciously be at peace. Whatever you practice might be, this step is crucial, because if we keep running on the same old programs, non-stop, all day, every day, there is minimal chance for new information to be accepted into our minds, and without these new information, it will be really hard to for our spirit. Which leads us to our next topic...

Step 2: Feeding it Information 

Once we have mastered being able to calm the mind in order to receive new information, we can begin to feed ourselves with new experiences and knowledge. This can include anything from experiences you have in your daily life, to reading books, to listening to someone speak, going to conferences. . . you get the point, the whole point is to introduce new information to our minds and be conscious of what it means to us. It doesn’t matter if this information might mean something different to someone else, the importance is that we feed ourselves the information in this step. This is where we are collecting data, it doesn’t really matter what the data is at this point, of course, the higher vibration and more conscious the information is, the easier it will be for use to utilize it more easily for the formation of our spirit, but from my experience, everyone will collect information that is a vibration to what they already are vibrating with. Here is where we reach the most important step... 

Step 3: Making Connections 

All of the steps are required for the development of our spirit, but this step of connecting the dots of different experiences, or information that we are acquiring, is in my opinion, the most important. Usually this step happens at the end of a learning cycle, when we are ready to move on to the next learning cycle. In this step, we take all of the information from the last step (feeding information), which in some cases might take years or decades, and bring all of that information into a single conclusion, this is how we achieve mastery over our lives. If we fail to complete this step, we are sent back to the beginning and are asked to repeat the cycle all over again, the universe will keep bringing the same lesson back to you, until you have completely mastered this step. From my experience, repeated learning cycles are much shorter, but more intense than the previous one, because since you are blinded to the conclusion, the universe will call out to you in bigger and more difficult ways to draw your attention into something that needs to be healed. Some souls might take lifetimes to completely master one cycle, while others are going through cycles very quickly. I can def see around me the speeding up of cycles, and from my personal experience, cycles have become very short. 

Now I want to paint a picture here, we might have sub cycles to the great big one that will finally form our spirit, that is why our souls will incarnate in many many lifetimes in order to obtain all of the information from different sources and experiences. Say that we need to complete 50 sub cycles to completely form our spirit, and lets say that for each one of those 50 conclusions, there are 50 more mini cycles that make up that one... you can see why it has taken us so long to finally be here at this crucial time on the planet that will spring board us into finally completing our major lessons. We are now receiving very elevated information through channeling, inspirations, resurfacing of ancient knowledge, and many more ways in which we are being helped at this time. Our job now is to take in the information we are being presented with, digest it, know it, connect it to our lives, and finally, mastery comes when we apply it, which is the next step on this process. 

Step 4: Applying and Teaching Lessons 

This is how we can check in with ourselves and know that we have mastered a cycle or lesson that we need to form our spirit. This is where we see people actually change and become a better, more developed forms of themselves. This step is not about applying all of the information that you needed from step 2, but rather from step 3. Once that connection is formed (step 3), all of the information and experiences that you gathered to learn it are not that important, yes they still hold value, but the goal of having the experience is to learn. Once the learning is complete it would be inefficient to repeat the same lesson, and it would rather even be impossible. Even if you had similar or even the same experiences, if you completely mastered your lesson, you would go through the same experience at a different level of consciousness, so you would interpret the information in a different way. 

The application of your conclusion and lesson, is the important part of this step. You have a choice when you get this far in the cycle. You can choose to apply the lesson and make it a part of your new being/spirit, or you can choose to ignore it and continue doing as you were before you learned it. Believe it or not, you can actually digress in your spiritual evolution if you choose to incorporate lower vibratory thought forms into your being. Of course the universe will then bring back that lesson until you choose to accept it in harder and more difficult ways. 

If you choose to accept your conclusion and evolve and elevate because of it, a great way to contribute to the universe if to share your experience, this doesn’t mean that you have to write a book or start a podcast, or that you even have to tell people what you learned, but even just applying it in your own life can be teaching. People around you that notice your positive change, and the evolution that you just went through, can be considered teaching. Lead by example. Of course if you like talking to people and sharing your stories, that is also a great way to continue your practice and keep that active in your experience. 

Step 5: Forming the Spirit 

I can’t say from experience what this step looks like, as I am unsure if I have reached this threshold, but I did go through a pretty big lesson, maybe even the hardest one in this lifetime, but who knows, more things might be coming my way. Anyway, this step will be completed by itself, when you reach that final lesson, you wont even know it is your final lesson until it is learned, because then, when you disincarnate, you no longer will loose your correlation and continuation, you will no longer forget what you are working on, who you are, and where you are headed. You will be able to do more work in developing your connection to the divine and draw in inspiration from source, and not just from our ego minds. This step is not the last in the universe, but it is the last to get us out of this densified backwards planet we live on, at least from here on out we will have a conscious choice to come back or not, and that is more than we have been able to do in our journey thus far. 

As you can see all of this is work from our end, no one is going to come and do the work for you, or beam you out of this planet, or be “saved” by the blood of another person on a cross. The universe does not work by magic, it is all frequency and vibration, and you will match that which you are, you can’t hide it, and you can’t lie to the universe, if there is lessons you need to learn, people you need to forgive, experiences you need to live in order to purify your consciousness, and learn what you need to learn, the universe will make sure you get more than enough opportunities to evolve, transmute and transcend your current state of consciousness.  

Reading Section: The One Being Book 4 / Question #234: 

How do you communicate with the channelers?  

We communicate with symbols. When a being conceives his spirit, it has engraved in is crystals (thoughts) the basic universal formulas. These formulas are the DNA of the universe. The spirit does not need to learn, remember, assimilate, etc., it has it innately in itself, as opposed to the soul, that does need to learn, experience, assimilate, apply itself etc. 

We communicate with the channelers of the planet through symbols, and these are interpreted with the existing vocabulary that is located in the being’s memory. Who is interpreting and translating the symbols, is the spirit, who adequately expresses these symbols in the language that it finds itself in, extracting from this what is necessary to correctly communicate.  

These symbols are exactly like the crop circles and like the symbols you will find in the future when you discover Atlantis. . .