#i was telling my friend to seek help

[ovaryacted]

Me: making a few posts back to back about my mental health and sudden spike in my suicidal thoughts while I’m on vacation as a cry for help because my insecurities are fucking suffocating me and I want to peel my skin off like it’s a meat suit.

Also me: deletes the posts right after because I want to be the fun and wise mutual that writes mediocre smut, not the mutual that’s one bad inconvenience away from playing in traffic and doing a flip on the highway plus nobody cares anyway.

[suddencolds]

vent//

[taiyami]

Helloooooo 🌻

I used to joke all the time about being face blind but I genuinely believe I am these days. The day I found out Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe were two opposite people was earth shattering to me as a teenager. Same with Tobey Maguire and Michael J Fox. I can't tell Robert De niro, Christopher Walken and Willem Dafoe apart, even if they're standing next to each other in photos. Hollywood, to me, is made up of 3 white guys and Amy Schumer. I think this is one of the reasons I'm heavily attracted to Goth and Emo and Punk people, in this essay I will-

����

[arctic-hands]

Dudes I remember asking my pediatric gastro if it was dangerous for me to drink alcohol bc I believed D.A.R.E and thought everyone in the slightest out of school interaction would pressure me into at least drinking to look cool, and he said he wouldn't tell me that because he didn't want to encourage underage drinking.

I wasn't asking for permission I was even looking for an excuse to turn alcohol down if asked but cool beans dude I guess I'll find out in the moment if alcohol will kill me with the meds I'm on or the conditions I have. A+ doctoring you're totes responsible adult

[chainsawworld]

Oh g-d I've been withdrawing

[franeridan]

I finished watching sabikui bisco a couple days ago and I straight up haven't stopped thinking about it since like sorry I had stopped watching five episodes to the end so I had missed the most of it but like seriously for real I'll never call anyone a disaster gay anymore unless they're milo I've had my hands in my hair about him the whole way through and ever since after that guy is A Mess. nearly risks death to try and keep bisco out of harm's way and the last thing he says before passing out from multiple stab wounds is a question about bisco's safety. through the fever haze has a nightmare in which he tries to reach bisco as he calls for him but never gets any closer, wakes up temporarily blind asking for bisco and only calms down when he has bisco's hand in his, immediately proceeds to try to set bisco up with his sister. declares his eternal love to bisco after he dies (the whole episode is called i love you???), has a whole identity crisis over his death where he takes on his name and starts acting like him, when he finds out bisco survived he lays on his naked chest just to hear bisco's heart beating (and his sister outright says he'd never speak to her ever again if she tried to intrude and interrupt him as he does so!!) and then right after tries to set up bisco with his sister again. just to proceed to leave his sister behind and run away with bisco pretty much immediately after talking about how he'd be sad if he were the only one to grow old between them. he straight up had bisco promise to never part from him again for the rest of their lives and he still insists on bisco marrying his sister. I read bisco actually does marry his sister in the second novel? Literally what in the whole hell is milo doing. Just what kind of reaction to gay thoughts panic is it to marry off your crush to your sister. just to latch onto him and steal him away right after anyway. I'm speechless. milo my man please sort yourself out

[binders-and-beanies]

If u tell a trans disabled person to call the cops or tell someone else to call the cops abt them u do not care abt that person’s safety

[murphyslawyer]

I really just saw someone, on this website, tell a person who felt disturbed by a friend’s suicidal thoughts that maybe the friend shouldn’t have unloaded on them like that.

Are you fucking kidding me?? What are people supposed to do, then? Keep that shit shoved so deep inside them that they actually end up killing themselves??

I understand it can be really disturbing to hear that shit from someone who’s close to you, but bearing that discomfort is in fact necessary because maybe people need a friend’s support before seeking professional help. And that discomfort is nowhere nearly as bad as the pain of losing a friend. Get over yourselves.

[necrothezma]

I know I shouldn't give these kinds of people the time of day or any attention but I'm just like ... How do you think like. How do you think like this. what is your thought process of " it's a fictional character so they can't be a child or teenager " like ??? I think they're just trying to defend ns//fw of children because hurr duhh uhhh durr fiction doesn't affect reality I can draw horribly disgusting things of a 14 year old character because it doesn't hurt anyone it's not a REAAL child !!1!!

[coulsonlives]

.

[drasticdoodling]

irving: duncan, you’re scaring the girl with talk of blights and darkspawn this is a happy day for her.

nimona: nooo i wanted to listen to drakspawn facts :(

[facelessfractal]

I feel as though we on constantly on the cusp of some feral breakdown and just throwing ourself off the 3rd story and i cannot help but think maybe there is something that should be done about that? Like. There should be a medication or some kind of help for that kind of thing

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

[saintjosie]

DONT WASH VEGETABLES WITH SOAP JESSICA

jess and i are raising money to help rajaa and her family get out of gaza! tell me in the tags, what is your favorite vegetable that you are NOT washing with soap?

UPDATE: WE HAVE REACHED OUR GOAL FOR RAJA!!!

im so incredibly proud of the queer community’s ability to step up and organize. i have had so much hope and faith renewed in the power of community and solidarity through this.

i am exhausted but also i am not ready to be done.

jess and i are now targeting a new goal. raja’s sister saja has already crossed the border into egypt but almost the entirety of the rest of raja and saja’s family are still trapped in gaza. there are 9 adults and 12 children including a pregnant mother and a elder diabetic man who need medical attention as soon as possible. the goal they are hoping to reach is €112,000 for everyone to cross safely.

this is so much larger than our previous goal and we are already exhausted and terrified that nothing we do will be enough. but i have renewed faith in my community and i sure as hell am going to keep trying.

if you are able to donate or boost, every little bit helps.

[tea-stained-pages-wet-with-tears]

Seeking advice if possible!!

I tried to get out of my last class yesterday because I was so exhausted and self-loathing and it ended with me sobbing to my counselor about how stressed I am about my schoolwork and pending ADHD diagnosis and not having friends at my new school and not having straight A’s like I’m supposed to even though that’s not entirely my fault, some of my teachers are just awful at getting late grades in the gradebook.

Anyway I was up until 2 AM trying to figure out how I can add more work to my plate because I realized I only have like 6 assignments (which include studying for tests this upcoming week) and I don’t want my counselor to think I’m just slacking (she anticipated two weeks worth of work and I genuinely can’t tell how much time some of these things will take but I know it’s not that much).

TD;DR I need more assignments to do because my counselor thinks I’m in a worse place than I actually am and I don’t want her to hate me for wasting her time.

Does anyone have any ideas?? /genq

[gaykneecaps]

tw vent