#now im scared to tell ppl in my life abt serious things bc i think they’ll say call the cops n then scream at me if I say no
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ame-to-ame · 3 months ago
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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pocmuzings · 4 years ago
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um... kassie for the ship headcanon meme hehe
this is my wife btw  . . . doing this to me . . ok . . hot . . will do .  u know i’d do anything for u  . . 
1. Who makes the first move and how? i honestly think it was pretty even steven here ? they both bickered a lot at their photo shoot , working together . i feel like cassie was SO frustrated with him and his easy charm / cockiness that she probably kissed him first just to shut him up 
2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better? cassie has always had severe insecurities and issues there . i think just being in the same space as kyle always soothes her ? like he’ll make a dumb joke , or say smth dumb n sarcastic or poke fun at her lightly at it’ll kinda help her get out of her head ? she also loves taking baths , or just lying in bed together . 
3. Who is the most romantic? i feel like it’s cassie with the smaller things . she remembers the birthdays and she’ll see a cologne she think would be nice on kyle . but kylie is romantic in a lot of different ways , too . he’ll do things like clean the dishes or cook dinner if cassie seems particularly stressed . he’ll help organise her calendar . he’ll be more practical with how he helps her out at times  ?
4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves? both of them dfjkfjn but probably mainly cassie . she sees kyle anywhere and shes like PURR
5. Who says ‘I love you’ first? absolutely cassie and then she probably sprinted away in pure fear bc shes like ‘why did u say that why why why ‘  
6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome? tyler ? max ? those would be cassies pick . honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if kyle has Asked the q so they’d probably just get some random hot model they work together with some time
7. What do they get up to on a night out? a LOT of shots and a LOT of dancing and it gets very messy bc they’ll be in vip areas and having bottle service . it’ll end with a quickie in the bathroom , or her lipstick all over kyle’s neck and mouth and them probably getting kicked out for being too rowdy
8. What do they like in bed? they’re both pretty experimental ? cassie likes tying kyle up every now and then and like . . kinda being in control there when she can ? but she’s a definite switch and likes when he ties her up , or they’re in a kitchen with food getting messy . cassie likes when shes doing something and kyle just spins her from behind , or he’ll be the one to grab her and just be insatiable about her . she likes spontaneous sex and she’ll never say no to a quickie . both of them are Experienced players in the sex game so they’ve probably both tried everything once , and probably leave a lot of bruises on each other and hickies . 
9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other? honestly at any shoot if like . . cassie’s outfit has fallen apart in front of kyle , or she feels like the shoot isn’t going well and he’s there ? she gets mortified . also the first time she said ‘ i love you ‘ was pretty embarrassing to her bc kyle was probably 1000% taken aback . kyle doesn’t really get embarrassed ?!?!? like he just is like . .yeah i did that . anyways fjnfdjk 
10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island? IM SKIPPING THIS Q ITS TOO HARD
11. What do they hide from one another? kyle definitely hides the amount of girls he’s slept with in their industry ? bc its a lot i feel ? and he knows cassie gets jealous and mad insecure . so he probably tries not to bring that up really often but cassie usually KNOWS ANYWAYS . cassie mainly hides like if shes had a bad day or isnt doing too hot , bc she hates inconveniencing kyle but then that starts a fight bc hes like ?? just tell me ? ?
12. What first changes when it starts getting serious? less work trips . less spending time apart . less kissing other people / sleeping with other people ( actually . .NO kissing other ppl and sleeping with other ppl ) . they’re both NOT monogamists at all so its a struggle but thats the sign that they wanna make things serious ? that they’re commiting to each other ? 
13. When do they realise they should get together? HONESTLY I DON’T KNOW ? i think its when cassie was with gale and then . . kyle came back and things got really messy and cassie and gale broke up . kyle and cassie tried the whole friends thing but they both knew they were in love with each other ? like they’d never tried just being FRIENDS first so i think thats what really cemented it and their feelings and surety ?  
14. When one has a cold, what does the other do? kyle probably laughs and calls her adorable and kisses her nose bc shes so whiny when shes sick . but he’ll bring her home 300 medicines and soups . cassie has to literally force him to take time off work and then she’ll take the day off to make sure he properly rests dkjfkjnfjk
15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? they probably pick anything random bc honestly they get distracted and never finish it :-)
16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together? KYLE TO THE RESCUE ! i think cassie would make a great scavenger and find lil helpful things but kyle would be v stoic and protective and he’d be the Muscle of it all . 
17. When they find a time machine, where do they go? absolutely back to high school them . they were so happy and stupid and soft back then . they were goofy and in love without even knowing it . 
18. When they fight, how do they make up? sex . a lot of sex . yelling and then sex . sex and then yelling . it’s always a bit messy , but one of them will always finally give in and come back with their tail between their legs and apologise . 
19. Where do they go on their first date? honestly they never really did dates but i feel one of their many dates is probably to paris , a fancy restaurant there  where they’re known really well by all staff . 
20. Where do they go on holiday? EVERYWHERE!  they both travel a bunch so they’ll go to their favourite places . cassie wants to see kyle’s home but she knows kyle hates his dad so that may not happen fjkfnfj . milan . . greece ( if they really wanna a getaway ) . hawaii . any island or tropical place ! or france bc fashion ! 
21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another? cassie is always nervous about like paparazzi and stuff when they go out in red carpets and stuff bc they say a lot of dumb shit to rile them up ??? also cassie gets nervous before bringing kyle to her mums grave . i definitely know kyle would be nervous and not ok with cassie meeting his parents . .
22. Where does their first kiss happen? i think it happened on shoot ? they had to kiss for a shoot i think and it was Grating and Annoying and kyle was being so smug , and then they . . kissed more backstage sdjknfnkjfkjn
23. Where is their favourite place to be together? probably nice 5 star hotel rooms bc they can live their life and not worry too much abt clean up and stuff fkjnfnkfnf cliche but anywhere theyre together . . theyre happy . .
24. Where do they first have sex? probably in a limo , all rushed and heated , hand prints all over the leather , their bodies , and the windows. 
25. Why do they fight? bc they’re both really stubborn and too similar . they fight bc one is jealous of the other . they fight bc of their body count . or bc of their coworkers or the types of shoots they do ( a la sexy ) . they fight when one is away too much . honestly its mainly cassie i think cassie gets riled up very easily . kyle gets mad when CASSIE is being unreasonable which is 3000% of the time . cassie is just always lowkey scared kyle will leave her again dkjfjk
26. Why do they need to have a serious chat? probably if kyle went home and then came back and was acting v distant or short with cassie ? then she’d be like ok we r talking . honestly . probably talk to each other about their dumb jealousy issues if it got too out of hand . i know kyle monitors cassie taking her meds so if she tried to go off them unsolicited he’d be like baby no . 
27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them? bc they bicker and then fuck all the time JKFDJNFJKF
28. Why do they get jealous? bc they’ve both . . slept with everyone ! they’re both hoes ! 
29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love? bc they were horribly destined to be together and everytime they see each other they’re ALL the other one sees . they can’t keep their eyes ( or hands ) off each other . they fall more in love everytime they spend a second of time together and learn more of each other in any manner or form . 
30. Why does it work (or not work) between them? it doesn’t work . . it CAN’T work . but somehow it does . from all their jealousies and insecurities . from all the kinda - cheating , and the fighting , and the leaving each other , and the other issues . . from EVERYTHING . . they’re just too epic to not have worked , u know ? they are soul mates in a way . they always always found their way back to each other . they’re inseparable . they will never stop loving each other , no matter what . good , bad , ugly , beautiful . 
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trueslove · 5 years ago
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✧・゚: * (  park jiwon  ,  cis  female ,  she / her  )  have  you  seen  violet  hwang  around  ?   i  hear  the  twenty-one  year  old  is  working  as  an  art  director  .  did  you  know  they  have  97  love  alarm  points  ?  if  they  ever  want  to  be  truly  loved  someday  they  should  ease  up  on  being  temperamental  &  enigmatic  .  at  least  you  can  say  they’re  disarming  &  convivial,  too.  /  love alarm blocked
                     hello  !  im  xan  and  ur  watching  d*sney  channel ...  just  kidding  we  do  NOT  support  big  corporations  who  just  wanna  take  ur  money  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  ...  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  im  gonna  be  honest  this  intro  is  gonna  be  completely  winged  so  buckle  up  ....  and  meet  violet  😋 
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     quick stats + aesthetics  !
full name: violet hwang. 
nickname(s): vee, vivi.
zodiac: tba....
sexuality: bisexual.
birthplace: manhattan, new york.
current residence: toronto, canada.
aesthetics: maraschino cherries at the bottom of a glass, driving with the windows down at night, unanswered text messages, black nail polish, the sound of rain hitting the windowpane, kissing and not telling, smiles that don’t quite reach the eyes.
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     backstory ! 
was born and raised in nyc baby ! she’s a true city girl, grew up in lower manhattan ( the financial district if u wanna get specific ) to a family with lots of $$$$ thanks to her father’s position as a ceo of an investment bank located on wall street 
life was pretty smooth until she was 17 and her father got arrested for embezzlement and fraud </3 it was actually a huge scandal for the investment bank he worked for because it was a whole group of higher ups who had been in on these crimes. basically a bunch of already rich men trying to get richer ... disgusting ik /: 
her life changed pretty drastically after that ! the hwang name was all over the news, their family was pretty much disgraced by high society in nyc, not a very fun time for anyone but especially not for violet’s mom 
after her dad got arrested violet was uhh high key furious with him for ruining their lives with his greed and she wanted nothing to do with him, but her mom couldnt let go. she was still defending him, spending the money they had left on lawyers which included the money the family had set aside for violet’s trust fund that she would have had access to once she was 18 </3
 so her plans for college changed pretty drastically JSDBJWBDJW ( goodbye ivy league education ) she actually ended up getting into the university of toronto for visual studies on an academic scholarship 
so she made the big move all on her own....moved into a tiny dorm...and vowed to reinvent herself. she didnt wanna be labeled as the daughter of a white collar criminal anymore so she just made it a point not to talk to much abt her past to anyone 
her struggles as someone who grew up with $$$$ turning into a broke college student made for some embarrassing but funny moments <3 luckily though everyone else had their own struggles so no one found it suspicious JSBDJWBDJ
when love alarm launched three years ago, violet had just started college so it was really the Big thing anyone and everyone was talking about. since she’d never been a fan of other dating apps, she wasn’t gonna download it but her roommate at the time convinced her ! at first it was fun, just something she didnt take too seriously 
fast forward to graduation and she’s snagged a job as an art director for a little local museum, doing freelance art directing on the side to help pay the bills. low and behold one day a photographer hires her to be the art director to a shoot they’re doing for a badge club member who was in a very high profile and public relationship at the time
violet ended up working with that photographer and badge club member a handful of times, enough for her to catch fee-🤢 catch feelin-🤢 i cant even say it .. she’d never rung anyone’s love alarm before, so of course her first time had to be with someone who was already taken </3 safe to say she ... freaked out 
she was embarrassed above all else, but also heartbroken bc in her head like ... why would someone who literally is part of an exclusive club based on ppl ringing their love alarm care that she rung theirs ? she didnt think it’d be a big deal to them the way it was to her ( but also didn’t stick around long enough to find out jsxbsjbdjw ) 
when she was offered the block she didn’t hesitate to use it figuring it’s better if no one knows her romantic feelings ever again like that /: she’d delete the app but a part of her still likes knowing there are ppl out there who DO like her like that so ... Rip truly 
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     personality + tidbits !
she comes across as ... kind of a bitch SDJBJWBJWBDW it’s truly not on purpose she just has a pretty serious resting expression most of the time ( so she looks mad or annoyed even when she isn’t ) and she’s pretty difficult to get to know ? not to mention the fact that no one has ever witnessed her ring someone’s love alarm .. so all that combined just makes it easy to assume she’s some sort of ice queen when that’s far from the truth /: 
violet really isn’t one to open up too deep to people, but that’s got a lot to do with the past she’s kind of running away from ! so if you’re her friend most of the stuff you know about her is probably surface stuff, but when she’s close to someone she can make that fact hard to realize ? she just has a way with making the people in her life feel important so it’s easy not to be focused on how much you know about her 
never bothers to correct the people that misjudge her. if you don’t like her, if you want to make up assumptions and rumors about her, go ahead like violet really won’t stop you which can sometimes make meeting new people difficult </3 if you’ve seen the dating class webdrama chuu was in she’s kinda like oh seyoung’s chara joowon 🤧
if she wants to, though, she’s pretty good at getting people to like her / trust her ! she does this a lot in professional situations, which is why she’s been doing so well as an art director so far despite being so young 
she’s also very loyal to her friends ! if you can’t ask for extra sauces at mcdonald’s....if you can’t make a phone call to your credit card company explaining that a $3,000 charge to starbucks wasn’t you.....she’s your girl <3 since she’s relatively not bothered by the way people see her ( unless it has to do with her past ) she’s usually the one speaking up if someone she cares about can’t 
after the ... incident ... JSDBWJDBWJ she’s really not a fan of the badge club and everything it stands for ): BUT she continues to do art directing work for a lot of the members when they do photoshoots, or instagram campaigns, or if they have a pop up shop, etc. it’s good money and she needs every penny considering she’s living without support from her family 
cannot cook to save her life so she’s always eating out .. this really is why she’s taking those more high profile jobs she can’t budget .. but it’s better, safety wise at least, that she continues wasting her money on takeout aha <3 
pretends she’s not a romantic and is all about the ~casual flings~ but really she’s just afraid of serious feelings and the idea of a serious relationship ... it’s the trauma 😔 constantly jokes shes gonna bring the tinder whore era back JWDBWJBDJW she is sick of this true love nonsense ! ( the irony of this url ahaha... ) 
she’s the most social after a few drinks, since drunk her isn’t burdened by a mind that overthinks literally everything the way she is sober. if you don’t supervise her though she can get pretty carried away and probably get into some kind of trouble so she’s definitely not the person you want to be in charge on a night out !
really wants a dog but doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a pet parent it feels just as scary as the idea of having an actual kid so ... BDWBDJW if you have a pet ? she’s gonna be living vicariously through you <3 
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     wanted connections !
the photographer that hired her / introduced her to the badge club member she ended up having feelings for 
the badge club remember she had / has feelings for because we love suffering 😈
old roommates from college !! maybe even the one that got her to download love alarm in the first place hehehe
also a current roommate / roommates because your girl can’t afford to live on her own <3
someone she’s confided in about her past ( maybe they judged her for it and had a falling out, or maybe they remain confidants ) 
an ex bf or gf she dated while she was in school ! she never rang their love alarm ( even though this was pre block ) so maybe that’s why things ended between them. or maybe they never rang each others and it was just a mutual thing where they both didn’t really have feelings for each other and tried to date anyway and it didn’t work. or perhaps they dated and when violet realized she was starting to have those feelings she dipped before she ever got a chance to ring their love alarm bc she didn’t want to be exposed like that and commitment is scary ): 
spare best friend ? i’d use a knife emoji to show you how serious i am but i dont wanna scare anyone away aha .. i would just love a best friend plot 🥺
current flings / hookups or past flings / hookups ! i imagine most of them to not be serious but it would be kinda cool if there was someone she’s seeing now that she’s got the love alarm block that she’s actually falling for considering she’s never gonna be able to ring their love alarm hehehehe
people she art directs for !! i imagine she’s got a pretty long list of employers ( from badge club members to regular folk  🤧 ) so it would be cool to have people who hire her for stuff, or who collaborate with her for artistic endeavors since i’ve noticed we have a lot of artsy muses <3 
ummm maybe an enemy. but where it’s like .. the hate isn’t even that deep it’s just like oh you dislike me ? well i dislike you FIRST 😠 and they insult each other and try and sabotage each other like five year olds fighting on the playground like it seems super serious to them but to everyone watching it’s like ... can you guys just get over it you dumb babies KSDBSDBWD like they could probably be good friends if they just .. stopped 
and you’ve reached the end of this NOVEL of an intro post JDBJWBDJWBDW im literally so sorry i tried not to ramble but ..... its just who i am </3 please come shoot me a message to plot !!! you can use tumblr ims but im way more available / quicker to respond on discord so if u wanna add me there and plot u can find me at junhee mr. soft hands ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172  i also did not check this post for typos so if u find one ... mind ur business 😭😭😭 
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lanasaved · 6 years ago
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cue me, clanking noisily at a nearby manhole as i attempt to scrabble my way bk out of the sewer like the stinky little rat tht i am. enchanté, ghouls! some of u might remember me (nai/from manchester so i pronounce things like a gallagher brother n i’m profusely sry abt it) bt if nt i hd to drop off the face of the Earth rp wise fr a hot minute there bt now im bk n i couldn’t resist reviving lana so???? here we r. u kno the drill more abt her under the cut!!
( cis-female ) haven’t seen LANA JAMESON around in a while. the KRISTINE FROSETH lookalike has been known to be (+) VIVACIOUS & (+) ALLURING, but SHE can also be (-) UNRELIABLE & (-) CARELESS. The 22 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in BALLET. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/ha/the beast from split. )
some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror
SO i think in terms of explainin where she’s been fr the past month i’m gna say tht she didn’t rly.... tell a lot of ppl??? probably only a select few bt to others im guessin she was pretty vague bc she hates discussin anythin serious/personal. anyway essentially she’s been back @ home helpin her brother out n i won’t elaborate much more bc im a thot
frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey
she’s local to the ny area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate
okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life
they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst.... a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty
her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once
despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly
growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character
she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r
anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself
this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married
she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh
new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks
personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another
plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!
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kkukkung · 7 years ago
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v lorge ask compilation below
some of these asks date back like??? a few months??? dsdjkfhk... they’re ordered from newest to oldest i’m so sorry... messy messy
Ur blog is the plush jooheon is going like 😯😷😨😷😷 😵😫😱 to
it... is......... honestly i think jooheon is the member i’d get along w the least irl?? i can’t explain it but?? mb bc he’s a libra? also the fact that hyungwon received that huge shrimp plush n held it like a foetus is so :’’0000
annie tumblr is gonna censor ur whole blog cause ur gay
Good.
so... shart is ur New fav word now huh, guess that ges into my dictionary now...
shart made a comeback from 2016 me’s vocab and i don’t even know how it happened? :(
Sjdnkwldwnnw u ruined that punch scene in shine forever,, I can't watch it without thinking about your "my meat, me" gif 
the best gif i ever made??? gkjkjf sorry i rly am the most irrelevant person on this damn website? also that rly was my first thought when i watched the mv.... or maybe second thought after thinking “god i wish shownu would punch me like that”
changkyun is really so happy recently, he smiles so much and his eyes crinkle, its the cutest thing i have ever seen like ??!?! i want to protect him, just roll him up in a blanket and show him memes on my phone
he is!!!!! his happiness is my own happiness?? and when he smiles ur right he goes like >__< he’s rly the cutest boy alive? and this ask is so relatable esp the last part... if ck were my friend irl i’d just text him memes all day???
pls deactivate
relatable
I'm so soft rn. How can I FUCKING tell them how much I love them. Like I want to grab wonho's sweet squishy face and give his forehead a big SMOOCH. These boys deserve so much and I want to convey that to them in person but I CAN'T. And if I had the chance I'd probably ugly crying too hard to say anything.
this ask is so cute??? and i understand the dilemma like... idols are ppl who give & receive so much love every day expressed in 28347982 different ways so it’s hard knowing how to rly... Let Them Know just how happy they make u thru their existence alone? crying with u anon
yikes wait what happened w jinyoung?? i thought he was one of the few unproblematic ones...
[diff anon] jinyoung was on a tv show where he was playing a past love interest or something and he kisses the actress who's only 14..
i.... won’t comment on this bc i don’t want to stir up old drama but :/ aah i see... thank u for letting me know!
i started talking like you and another person who has similar typing patterns to you and now all my friends hate me bc of slorp and spicy
sdfjkghksdfkjfgkjds im rly sorry this happened to u... at first my friends were resistant but after a while they started picking it up as well thru exposure so... infect them jksfjjkgf... also add shart to the menu i guess? :/
Kihyun's kink is making people flustered. On the gifseft he's like "There's so many things I can do with my mouth, let me show you honey." He will grab your neck firmly yet delicately while he invades your personal space. Keeping eye contact is troublesome, this new proximity tastes as dangerous as the underlying promise of what will come next. But Hyungwon never figured it out since he backed out, breaking the siren's spell.
(response to this gifset i think? jshdfkjff) BLEASE... im writing a hyungki fic right now as we speak ✍️📝 anyway i like this characterisation of dom!kihyun bc irl he would be very dominant ??? and in fics he’s always the bottom just bc he’s #smol 🙄 but i mean he’s ?? so aware of his own sex appeal sometimes so he’d be like a switch/top/power bottom imo
you're right, you aren't into vore. More like in slorping and smorching knees/feet, and other nsfw things.
tbh im only fake horny :/ im a romantic deep down.. want to watch the sunset with lmh....... accidentally drop my bag of skittles on the dirt and he eats them up like a vacuum cleaner jksfdhkjgfkjfdhjgfjhjks
Annie, i feel like you'll understand me. Whenever I see Minhyuk, i feel a mixture of extreme lust, great anger and a desire to have my head bashed in because he's real and nothing else matters anymore. It's really.... not what i wanted in life 
another #relatable ask... i want to take minhyuk out on a candlelit dinner date but like.... at kfc and we’ll both be touching each other’s cheeks with our greasy hands like animals... like raccoons scavenging for trash in a dumpster
'kihyun stans are foot fetishists'' UHM!!! this is tru i would slorp kihyuns whole foot in one go
i don’t rmbr writing this but skjdfhfgsdkjgjk it... it really is true huh...
hi annie, i just wanted to ask you what your take on wonho's personality is? ive read your tags before and how you say he is very romantic in how he presents things, and i thought that was interesting!
aaa, i think i’ll write a proper post on this later bc it’s also something that interests me a lot... until then i’ll just say that i think he’s indeed very romantic and loves pleasing people... his driving force is rly Love u know... love for people (family, members, fans), for his job, for music, etc... he’s very soft and imaginative and sometimes that comes across as a kind of childish innocence?? more on this later
i wanna kno more abt the customer whos coming in more lately,, i lov regulars that come in at my job - it's such an interesting half relationship
hgfjjjsk this ask is from a month ago n i think i was talking abt that customer who asked me if i wanted to die but in a casual way?? jsfdkh i work at a tobacco store so this guy asked me if i smoked n i was like “uhm no i don’t” so he went “what? are you afraid to die?” and i stood there like... kind of dumbfounded for a sec jksfhg but he’s a nice guy n very cool... nvr seen his eyes b4 bc he always has rly dark shades on n he buys the cheapest cigarettes n leaves. but most regulars i get are like chinese international students spending their parents’ money on cigs and some sweet old men who always want the same smokes... there’s this one old man who always wears matching vintage suits n pairs it w a fancy hat n once he complimented my outfit and i was thrilled?? also some creeps come n chat me up while im working sometimes which is a bit :/// but mostly i like my job and it’s interesting interacting w regulars! thank u for this ask n im sry if this was like super boring lmao
idc what it says about me but Minhyuk rushing to eat chicken bones off the fucking floor brought him from 'would play Mario Kart and share nachos with' to 'would play Mario Kart and share bodily fluids with' levels
i want to Die.................... when he tried to eat those half-eaten chicken bones off the ground....... that was the moment that solidified his image as a Dirty Dirt Man in my head like he’s a Real Gremlin... i said it for fun b4 but it’s... a real thing. he’s actually Disgusting skjdfhjdkf... also anon u sound like a gremlin too??? join our big gremlin family???
wtf is "That" ????? and why is it related to kihyuck ?? - knowing ur tags it should be something gross, but u said it in such an onimous way; annie, i am scared.
i genuinely don’t rmbr what this was abt djgjs i write a lot of tags that don’t make sense even to me like a few weeks later?? sjdfjhkjsk i’m sorry... gotta start answering these in time so they actually have any kind of relevance... 
"That kink where you just want to be crushed....just like pulverized. Asking for a friend" Bless this tag
again.. don’t rmbr writing this tag and don’t rmbr the post i wrote it for but um, yeah, sounds like smth i said jkfdgsjfdjk im so sorry...
i just had a dream where minhyuk showed up, called me sexy and then left???
fun fact whenever ppl tell me abt their dreams here it’s always to do with minhyuk doing something weird??? also God I Wish That Were Me...
why do u say jooheon is def experienced tho? he legit said he never had a girlfriend in his life and it's clear seeing him interact with women, he has no idea what to do? unless you mean gay experiences, that's probably very true
THE LAST LINE OF THIS ASK JKDHKJD.... um i think joobs is experienced bc i actually think he’s sorta smooth? he’s pretty flirtatious w female hosts on the shows mx appears on like... w jimin on asc and w seulgi on idol battle likes... i don’t mean experience as in a lot of idk.. sexual experiences (if anything he’d b the type to be v devoted to someone if he was dating them i think) but i feel like he does know how to present himself in a certain... attractive light especially in front of cute girls? idk if i’m saying this right... 
ur minhyuk tags are so fnny and hella relatable im dying n 😂😭😂
my minhyuk tags: slorp... asterisk asterisk asterisk x10... nut... gremlin dirt man... nut nut... nutting... dksjfgkj but thank u?
but you ARE funny lol I laughed so hard at that bird/Shownu reference
gfjkgjkjk u can tell how old these asks are from the things they’re referring to... but nevertheless thank u sm im sry im a mess... at least im a funny mess to a select few ppl... thank u for enjoying my messy blob... i lov u
no exit ep 5 was a mess but wonho was lookin reeeal cute w those glasses tbh
???? what the fuck, where they serious about that fuckin Mathew the tiger??? If yes, then again, wtf??
jdsfjksk i still can’t believe Those Episodes of no exit rly happened...
i love your tags so much especially the ones where you imply that minhyuk's actually an alien "# he rly doesn't know what to do w his arms he hasn't possessed a human body in so long" lol
HE RLY IS AN ALIEN... like he’s obviously attractive n was popular in school n smart n funny n cute but sometimes he does the most unexplainable things n it makes me rly wonder if he’s human??? he’s so fucking weird u kno i love my alien gremlin dirt man... take me for a ride in ur ufo...
You @ wonho: :( sweet baby u deserve everything good You @ minhyuk: literally slorp my p**** you fucking snake
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SHUT UP...
i started using slorp too help
this ask was sent 3 months ago... i can’t believe i’ve been saying slorp for three months...
um..... i luv u???smorch
smorch u back??? big sloppy smorch that leaves u disgusted???
Hey Annie, would you mind a short description of the Monsta X No Exit Chanel+ video?
i’m sry abt how late this is jsfdjkg but if anyone’s still interested... yeah the no exit video where they explained the hypnotism was p much just bts of jooheon and shownu getting hypnotised... and it kind of legitimised it ig bc joobs said he was concentrating super super super hard (and hypnotism only works when ur focusing that much??) n so did shownu... my ch+ actually expired recently so this is just from what i rmbr hfdjsdjkh if anyone else can contribute pls do! otherwise i will get a renewal soon and after that i could do a better summary if you’re still interested! sorry!!
Um...why are jooheons vocals slept on...what the fcuk he's so??? Nice to listen to??
tbh why is jooheon such a golden boy... literally good at everything... can sing dance (one of the best dancers in mx??) and rap.... compose... write lyrics... play 328974 diff instruments... cute n sexy at the same time.... what the fuck
I'm trying to figure out what your censored tags are but apparently my vocabulary of nasties is pretty limited
im glad??? pls don’t read the next part of this ask compilation ksfhkgsd
!!!nsfw asks... spare urself please...!!!
uhhhhhh for the nastea ask comp... kihyuns p*thy eating lips??? true, but whats the most to least best at eating out ranking order?
1. kihyun/wonho
2. shownu (would try v hard??? earnest man??)
3. hyungwon (idk i think he’s gotta be Good somehow i mean look at his lips??)
4. jooheon
5. changkyun
6. minhyuk (can’t find clitoris :/)
I would like to hear more about kihyun's p**** e**ing lips tbh 👀... please elaborate
idk what to say but i feel like the way he moves his lips sometimes is ??? erotic jskfdhkgjfdj and same w wonho... also the lisp has some relevance 2 ***** eating idk there’s a tie there somewhere...
I FEEL DIRTY WATCHING KIHYUNS BODY ROLLS ON WEEKLY IDOL I WOULD **** his **** at fucking lightning speed
rmbr when we thought sexy!kihyun Peaked during beautiful era w the return of the black hair but now he’s running around w a blindfold n showing off his new shredded body at any given moment.. yeah
(in reference to minhyuk probly not knowing where the clit is) minhyuk: *reaches into the back of your throat and flicks your uvula* "hows that feel babe? ;)"
reading this took years off my life i hate u
I disagree.Minhyuk is probably the most kinky out of monsta x.He just doesn't show it like every other expert in the field 👀👀
mmm i think hyungwon could be a Freak? jskdhfkg but ur right minhyuk is definitely someone who’s up for like... experimental stuff :/
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artgay · 8 years ago
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rip one ugly vent sess
cn. disordered eating, psychosis, relationships, drinking, sex, gendered slur, compulsive lying,
mm like i try too hard 2 sound smooth n eloquent and i hate it i hate it i wish i could jusat say stuff like
- i want to talk abt my psychosis n delusions but i dont fucking understand any of it n im just too scared of it to sound smart abt it + if i cant say it Right, i wont say it at all, 
- i saw my ex today n she was a fucking stranger n there was nothing there n its making me doubt how real any of the past yearr was like i dont miss her but i miss having a person to do stuff with ok maybe i miss her a bit or at least who we were but i Cant bc that means i lose, 
- i think im vapid n pissy n not legitimately in touch w shit enough to b interesting or deep or insightful i try too hard to be n i dnt even know how much of me is real i think im probably all fake at this point, 
- i dont know if i would be close to some of the close ppl in my life if i met them now and isnt that kind of awful, 
- im going out of my fucking mind abt them and tbh im probs only this affected bc when i saw them was the only time ive felt alive and ok in so so long, why cant i be the one that makes me feel ok why is it always other people bc other people never txt u back
- say i think i infantilise myself a lot like uwu im soft n cute pls love me and idk why ok i know why but its a yuck reason, 
- say speaking of that ive had awful night terrors the last two nights n just want to cry abt them lmao im fucking craving getting to tell my psych abt it even if shes decidedly average and actually pretty shit so i should probs bail on her completely ngl but hey shes the best (only) ive got , 
- say i lie a lot about small things --nd maybe big things too- and i hate myself for it but i dont know how to stop being an awful cunt, 
- say becoming active in those bpd fp groups has been the most affirming experience i can remember ,, 
- say i just want to drink and fuck ppl until i dont feel anything, 
- say i wish i could talk to kochava abt shit but i dont think i can, 
- say i’m not enough i try and try and fucking try to be something great and bold and memorable but im an ugly sad  mess of a person lying in the dark alone feeling sorry for myself eating my feelings after nt eating for like three whole days but dw its not Serious, 
- say im not ok abt food i will say disordered eating but i wont say Eating Disorder 
- say i just wish i was more, so much more, i just wish i wasnt this, 
- say i just want someone to hear me
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