#at least the og post has like. barely any notes

[necrothezma]

I know I shouldn't give these kinds of people the time of day or any attention but I'm just like ... How do you think like. How do you think like this. what is your thought process of " it's a fictional character so they can't be a child or teenager " like ??? I think they're just trying to defend ns//fw of children because hurr duhh uhhh durr fiction doesn't affect reality I can draw horribly disgusting things of a 14 year old character because it doesn't hurt anyone it's not a REAAL child !!1!!

[p-receh]

Analysis time! :D

What better way to make another thesis for certain parts of the last episode?

This post, I'll be talking about how strong the Power Spheres could take over its owner's mind.

As I ever mentioned it before. Even though comic book already covered the story of season 2. Again, we still need to look at the TV ver. Because whatever happens, TV shows is still the roots of Boboiboy's franchise. Whether you like it or not.

We good? Now shall we begin?

Re edit for grammar correction

See, of all every Power Spheres that had been introduced, only Kokotaim gang were not yet been "confirmed" what was their Power Spheres look like. Sure, the only elemental bot that had been shown were Hang Kasa's Crystal Bot and Retak'ka's Light Bot, but that's it.

Monsta already established two rules about the Power Sphere:

Every Power Spheres have their mind and soul. They could talk, think and feel like a living being.

Whatever happens, their contact with their first owner emended to their traits and it impacted to their next owner as well.

My first suspicion obviously came from what Gopal had said before in one of anon ask box about the first debut of Taufan and Hali in OG series.

"In the past, Boboiboy Lightning turn into Thunderstorm because he felt extremely angry. Boboiboy Wind turn into Cyclone also because of felling an absolute joy."

Another interesting aspect is from Mechamato movie. Specifically when Amato in Mecha suit mode was being locked to a flashback scene triggered by Mecha Bot uncontrollable sense of fear.

(excuse me for putting the Indonesian sub ver. :/

*translation note in order:

"Mechabot, Shoot!"

"Mechabot! What's wrong?"

"C'mon Mechabot!

From this point, I think you can guess what I would want to go from here.

As the tweet mentioned. It is interesting to note the similarities between the two. Whenever the Power Spheres' soul take over the owner's body more deeper, their eyes will glow and the scars spreads to their skin.

And by that logic, the Power Spheres consume much more energy than before. Thus the heavy drained out both mentally and physically from their owners.

Amato knew this and to fix the same issue, he convinced Mecha Bot during their final battle against General Grakakus in the same movie.

"Mechabot, close your eyes! I will be the one to handle our moves! Trust me!"

It goes back to one of my ted talks about this topic and a highlight some particular line from Kuputeri.

One of my favorite Boboiboy account also solidified his statement again about Oboi's being controlled by Power Sphere or in this case, elemental forms.

In my opinion what Oboi went through was somehow worse than any other Power Sphere wielder out there.

Not only he wields seven strongest powers in the galaxy but also might be the most unconstrained one to control them. Then again he still not reach his age of consent, but he already hold big responsibility to become the hero and most wanted target in the galaxy.

Think about it, even their original owners were a bit struggled to learn their power. Hang Kasa travel planets to planet only for learning his power with other elemental masters, Kuputeri needs to harness for at least hundreds years until she could tame Beliung/Tempest's, A small crack Ki'rana's body armor could made her went berserk due to the immense power of the Lightning bot.

In common sense, every wielder still has their Power Spheres as their own companion while Oboi hasn't. What Boboiboy only has to contain that grandiose powers? a watch. A watch that went three times modification simply because of the powers that was too strong to keep and use all at once. Not to mention how frequent Oboi uses split and now with fusion techniques is also add to the list.

He barely managed to ease his mind when transform to Beliung, Ice and Blaze worsen Baraju's conflicts with their near 3rd tier transformation, and he was lucky to be saved by 30 minutes Oakuat Juice so he could keep Rimba under his watch.

Now that we come so far, the questions still remains missing:

With how bad the elementals took over Oboi, will it possible they are gonna be the next villain for him in the future?

Does Amato knows about Boboiboy's Elementals powers? Does he also know Ochobot past before sending it to him?

Did the rest of elementals Power Spheres already destroyed after the first Retak'ka's raid or not?

I guess maybe Mechamato series might be the answer of Ochobot and all elementals Power Spheres in the past. Again we still have no clue what happened to him during the season 2 events.

And also this line up post before Monsta split the title for Dwifusion to "Gentar" and "Baraju"—

—announced the third season of Galaxy series after BM3 Gur'latan(quite close too after the movie you know?) . My only hope is that it cover the elenmentals and also other origins of Yaya, Ying, Gopal, and Fang Power Sphere.

Where were they came from? Were their Power Spheres also get destroyed like all elementals did? Are their owners still alive or not?

🤔

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OOT but I just love Monsta's new thumbnail art for full ep marathon of Windara. 😎����

[lunanoc]

Hey there! Your posts about heihua and xiao hua in particular have made me curious and I've only started book 7, so I didn’t get too much og book xiao hua (I have watched all the dramas though). Would you mind talking about him (and/or them) a little more? I'd love to read that!

And if not, then I hope you still have a great day :)

hi! i'd be happy to talk more about xiao hua and hei xiazi in the books if you're interested in my take on them (which honestly thank you i'm flattered you'd want it tbh 😂) so thanks for asking (sorry in advance for how horribly long this is)

before i say anything though, a few disclaimers:

while i do like him, xiao hua is technically not my ultimate blorbo (that's wu xie) so because the brainrot is less intense i'm not gonna pretend i'm an expert on all things xiao hua compared to some other people i can think of. same goes for heihua, which is a ship i do like but more passively, so again, not enough brainrot to be a super expert

i haven't read everything they're involved in yet, so for complete transparency, i'm currently about halfway through sha hai in my chronological order read of everything, and anything after that point i've read in bits and pieces only (like various extras, bits of yucun biji etc), so i notably haven't read flowery night. as far as heihua goes, the only thing i've read where they directly interact extensively is the beginning portion of what's considered restart part 2 aka the mute village storyline, but to my knowledge they don't really interact in real time before that point or barely. so i won't be talking about flowery night or the dragon vein trilogy that takes place after restart

any quotes will be pulled from merebear's translations of the dmbj books

i won't be avoiding spoilers so spoiler warning

NOW

with that out of the way, let's talk about book xiao hua and a little about book heihua. i'll be comparing to mostly ultimate note in terms of the adaptations but i'll try not to get too much into that, so the tldr of it is just to bear in mind their dynamic and xiao hua's character in that are significantly different in some ways from how they are in the books. if you want a good drama portrayal of book xiao hua imo the best by far is lost tomb 2 xiao hua even if even he isn't 100% perfect either. anyway i'm getting off track 🏃‍♀️

since you mentioned book 7, it's worth mentioning for anyone unfamiliar with the books that canonically xiao hua shows up for the first time fairly late in the story at the start of chinese volume 7, more specifically the xinyue restaurant auction, while hei xiazi briefly features in chinese volumes 4 and 5 as part of wu sanxing's double agent team along with xiaoge, but by comparison you don't get much about him besides that he's mysterious and competent on a scale wu xie equates with xiaoge. wu xie and hei xiazi don't interact much, so he's pratically not there and leaves you wondering what relevance he has to the story, which is only ever answered come sha hai. and more importantly at that point, there's no established connection between him and xiao hua at all, which is the major difference with the drama adaptations, namely ultimate note. you do find out later, both in sha hai and a thousand faces, that they're at the very least acquainted with each other to some extent, but that's information you only get much later. so essentially any heihua content pre sha hai is necessarily canon divergence au, and yes that includes ultimate note

xiao hua as a character then. it's interesting to note that he's fascinating in how eeriely similar he ends up being to hei xiazi in some respects, namely in how they operate, which is why i feel they get along as well as they do, but let's look at him independently first because there's a lot to say about him.

keeping in mind that the books are all, exceptions aside, from wu xie's perspective, xiao hua isn't named until fairly late into book 7. they meet by chance as they cross paths in xinyue restaurant, but he doesn't introduce himself to wu xie who calls him Pink Shirt until you reach a much later portion of the book that's never been adapted simply because ultimate note changed the story too significantly by introducing him early to keep that entire bit, which is terrible in some ways because it's such a fun scene, but we'll get to that later. in the meantime, here's xiao hua's first appearence, which establishes through frequent paralleled behavior that the reader is meant to preceive some degree of similarity between wu xie and xiao hua as well, which i'll also get to later:

Just as I was about to speak, the man saw Poker-face behind me and his face instantly changed. I thought he knew Poker-Face, but when I was about to start asking questions, I saw a man come out from behind Poker-Face. He must have followed us in. The man was dressed in a black suit with a pink shirt underneath and no tie. He was very relaxed. The man went up immediately and asked, “Young Master, the usual?” The man didn’t speak, but looked at me and stopped. I suddenly felt that he was a little familiar. I lived in Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, so I honestly didn’t have a lot of chances to meet acquaintances in Beijing. At this moment, my mind was stuck, and I couldn’t remember who this man was, but I smiled reflexively. The man had obviously stopped like me, and was looking at me with a very surprised and puzzled expression on his face before he also smiled. (...) The both of us smiled pervertedly at each other for a long time, but neither recognized the other. Honestly, when I looked at him, I felt as if I had seen him somewhere before. But on closer reflection, that was all it was. I simply felt that he was familiar. (...) The two of us shared a look, but we really couldn’t remember, and were both a little embarrassed. The old fellow with glasses was amused. These old Beijingers were slick and had seen all kinds of things. He gave us a roundabout: “Do the two young masters know each other? Let’s not stand here blocking the elevator door. When you meet someone you know, you’ll remember.” As he said this, he invited the other party in. Pink Shirt shook his head as if it was inconceivable, looked at me thoughtfully, and then turned and walked into the inner hall. He had only taken a few steps when he looked back at me again. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 6 'Auction' & 7 'Auction Part II'

much like hei xiazi, xiao hua is established as mysterious and somewhat unfathomable in a way that niggles at wu xie who can't remember why it is he recongnizes this man he to all intents and purposes should never have met given they don't run in the same circles and live in areas quite far apart. he takes note of how apparently disinterested he is when he notices that xiao hua is sitting across the iron triangle on the upper floor of the auction house, seemingly on his phone utterly bored out of his mind or acting like he's above what's happening really:

I looked carefully and saw Pink Shirt in a box on the left side opposite us. It seemed that he was alone and playing on his cell-phone. (...) Basically, it seemed like this was the only item being sold today, so all these people had come prepared to win. Thinking that, I looked at Pink Shirt, who wasn’t far away. He was no longer playing with his phone, but arrogantly sitting on a western-style sofa, and staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 8 'Feast for Collectors', 9 'Memories Part I

but of course he's very much paying attention, as pangzi points out:

He took no notice at all, and simply wiped it with his hand and continued: “It’s time for a break, and when the second half comes, I bet another two million gets added. Goddamn it, this Fat Master has learned a lot today.” (...) He pointed to Pink Shirt again. “This guy is also very good. He’s been playing with his phone the whole time and hasn’t even raised his head. He rang the last bell just before the break. It seems he’s determined to win and doesn’t even want to compete. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 11 'Lighting the Sky Lantern'

and this is where we come back to how in some aspects he and hei xiazi are actually quite similar in their approach, in a way that's markedly different from how ultimate note sets out to contrast them almost glaringly. both he and xiao hua cultivate a persona of nonchalence with a devil may care attitude, but behind the false ease and approchability, there's a calculating and efficient mind aware of its surroundings at all times. in a similar way, very quickly you also realize that xiao hua, far from the prim and proper young master he's presented as in ultimate note, is quite literally just as unhinged.

from the moment xiaoge jumps into action to fight the restaurant security staff for the qilin seal, xiao hua jumps to fight him too, except contrary to ultimate note, this isn't in an effort to save face and throw huo xiangu off because he's working with wu xie, and again, he shows himself to be calculating and cautious:

Between one thought and the next, Poker-face flashed like lightning from my side and jumped straight down from the second-floor balcony. His behavior left me stunned, and screams could be heard everywhere. I saw him make it to the ground and turn over swiftly before I heard another round of exclamations. I turned to look and saw Pink Shirt had one hand holding the railing of the gallery, while the other hand was in his pocket. He also jumped down and landed in front of Poker-face. On the other side, Fatty gave a loud roar, grabbed a stool, kicked down the screen, and rushed at the hotel staff who rushed in. The scene was a complete mess. (...) A man who rushed up was knocked down by Poker-face, and Pink Shirt was protecting the front of the glass cabinet. The two men looked at each other but hadn't yet come to blows. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 11 'Lighting the Sky Lantern', 12 'Wreaking Havoc in Heaven'

until wu xie finally manages to get downstairs with pangzi, at which point he finds xiao hua, ass handed to him by xiaoge because it's xiaoge, but instead of angry or surprised or any number of appropriate reactions at being beaten up, the maniac is smiling gleefully. and wu xie understandably thinks it's really fcking weird:

When I came downstairs, the glass cabinet with the seal had been broken and the thing inside had been taken out. Poker-face was looking at the seal carefully and had no intention of leaving. Pink Shirt was getting up from the ground, clutching his neck and coughing. It appeared he had already been beaten once. When we walked past him, however, we saw him coughing, smiling, and looking at us as if he were very happy. I went up to the stage and told Poker- face to take the seal and get away quickly. As soon as I turned around, I saw Pink Shirt approach me and say, “Hey, Brother.” Fatty and I looked at him. Fatty lifted the table and Pink Shirt immediately waved, “Wait, wait!” He took a business card from his pocket, handed it to us, and pointed to the imperial seal. “I won’t stop you. Here’s my contact information. When you want to sell the stolen goods, call me.” Damn it, I said to myself, definitely not a serious person. Fatty actually went up and took the business card, and Pink Shirt made a gesture of invitation. I was so anxious that I pushed them aside and rushed out. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 13 'Huo Xiuxiu'

it's at this point we also get introduced to huo xiuxiu (best girl who i could also talk tbh) who's also an absolute gremlin who teams up with xiao hua partly at huo xiangu's behest to test the iron triangle. which is where get into the entire portion of book that couldn't be adapted, and is the part the ultimate note actually changed significantly, because the iron triangle aren't on the run from huo xiangu, she's the one sheltering them. and so xiao hua's real introduction comes in the form of an elaborate scheme between him, huo xiuxiu, and huo xiangu wherein he disguises himself as huo xiuxiu thanks to the bone-shrinking technique, so successfully even xiaoge doesn't detect it until all three of them clue into something being very wrong, at which point he attacks them, gets his ass handed to him by xiaoge again, and once again finds it hilarious and the challenge has made him want xiaoge around clearly:

He staggered but didn’t fall to the ground. At the same time, I suddenly saw him pull a strange dagger from his sleeve, which seemed to be an antique. Holding it in a reverse grip, he rushed towards Poker-face. I immediately shouted “Be careful!” only to see that Poker-face was no longer in his original position. At the same time, a lightning-quick shadow flashed through the air and instantly knocked the man out with his knee. (...) I knew that the real malicious one was this guy, so I didn’t feel an ounce of pity for him as I helped Poker-face subdue him first. When “Xiuxiu” got up from the ground, his whole body suddenly stretched out in a strange posture. He suddenly got bigger, his shoulders widened, his height increased, and the mask was torn from his face. When I looked at him, I immediately recognized Pink Shirt. He was gasping as he laughed: “It hurts way more getting hit when shrunk to that size. No joke.” (...) Pink Shirt rubbed his joints, smiled, and then came up to me and patted me on the shoulder. He turned and nodded to Granny Huo: “Yes, you have a good eye.” Then he pointed to Poker-face and said, “This guy belongs to me." — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 30 'Get Down to Business'

so essentially, all this was a very long-winded way of showing that xiao hua, before we even know his name and identity, is established as unpredictable, ruthless, calculating, faux insouciant, and a particular flavor of playful that wu xie clearly finds unhinged and is extremely put off by for a hot minute, mostly because he's not aware (not is the reader at this point) that xiao hua's entire life has forged him into finding amusement and challenge in unorthodox things.

in the same way, it's directly because of this that contrary to ultimate note (and even any of the other early dramas like lost tomb 2) he's also absolutely not immediately ride or die for wu xie despite knowing very well they're childhood friends. he abandons wu xie, who as per his assessment was in all likelihood dead or dying, to secure his own escape before coming back to find him, which is the point where wu xie finally realizes the single greatest point of divergence between them. up until then, both wu xie and the narrative make a point of establishing parallels between wu xie and xiao hua, and here finally, what divides them is made clear, and the narrative establishes them as two sides of the same coin separated by this one split in personal code of ethics:

He apparently didn’t rush to check on my situation after I fell into a coma, but continued to climb inside instead. He reached the end of the crevice, completed his task, and then came out to see if I was dead or not. I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. I didn’t know whether this could be considered a ruthless or firm mentality, but he obviously didn’t feel burdened by it. I had finally found a difference between the two of us. But since I didn’t have the physical strength and didn’t want to break our tacit understanding, I didn’t bother expressing this emotion. I knew that when it came to this industry, the habit of desperately rescuing your companions didn’t exist. There seemed to be a kind of prior agreement where two people decided to save themselves if both parties were in danger. It was actually very fair if you thought about it. It was true that Xiao Hua was uncertain about my situation at the time, and even I would hesitate to go back and rescue someone if I were him. I couldn’t help thinking of Fatty and Poker-face again. If they were here, the black-haired corpse would’ve had his head cut off before he could scratch my back. Or I would have seen Fatty rush out from those pottery jars and screw everything up. But I would have been saved. At that moment, I felt an extreme sense of insecurity, more than I had felt before. Although we were three people now, I was really only responsible for myself. It was a very disconcerting thought. At the same time, I suddenly understood why Xiao Hua hadn’t been grateful but angry at me for going into the cave to save him. He was used to solving his problems by himself. Before he did these kinds of things, he had already accepted that there wouldn’t be any backup or help. He wouldn’t blame anyone for his own death, nor would he blame himself for others’ death. Was this the Mystic Nine’s mindset? I felt a chill in my heart. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 53 'Snake Bite'

and to be clear, this doesn't mean xiao hua is a bad person, nor does the narrative present him as one. it's simply the point where both wu xie and xiao hua diverge clearly when up until then they'd been presented as eerily paralleled. the difference between lies in where this mentality and stance is one that will eventually cause wu xie much grief and trauma when he's forced to adopt it during sha hai, it's simply one that xiao hua adopted too long ago to function without, and has stopped dwelling on if he ever did. similarly, xiao hua takes even longer to finally look at wu xie and see his use and welcome his presence genuinely, where before he'd still been cultivating the same easily approchable persona, though wu xie poked several holes into it before then:

Xiao Hua gave me a meaningful smile, “I found another reason why Granny Huo asked me to bring you. To some extent, you’re also a knowledgeable little shit.” I grinned, thinking that these words made it sound like he didn’t want me to be here before. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 55 'Unlock the Password'

from there, once xiao hua begins to truly open up to wu xie as a friend rather than a burden he's been forced into babysitting, he very quickly picks up on their similarities and what divides them as well, and in a show of almost uncharacteristic mercy, tries to spare wu xie from the ruthlessness he's accustomed to adopting to an extent when wu xie is forced to impersonate wu sanxing and confront just how ugly and lawless the underground business is. it's why this particular scene with panzi is incredibly touching in that despite confronting him with the responsability behind his choices, he spares wu xie from having to have literal blood on his hands, and in that way spares the version of himself he could have been had life not twisted him the way it has:

“Tonight is the key,” Xiao Hua said. “We just need a person to ‘cash’ in on our ‘achievement.’ Pan Zi has to come forward to determine how many people are on our side. Then, Wang Ba Qiu and Lao Liu will be eliminated later tonight.” I was completely shocked, “What do you mean?” “Never put something off until tomorrow. This is Master Three’s rule and Wang Ba Qiu knows it very well. He won’t wait for death.” As Xiao Hua spoke, he looked up at the sky. “It’s going to rain blood tonight.” I gave him a surprised look, “You can say such terrible words without batting an eye. How do you do it?” Xiao Hua smiled, “My grandfather said that sentence, and my mother relayed it to me. I was only seventeen when I heard those words.” As he said this, he sighed, “Stress is the kind of thing that when you talk about it, it’s gone.” I frowned and felt a sudden burst of fear in my heart. I never thought this kind of thing would happen again. “Must it happen like this?” I asked him. “Why don’t we call the police anonymously and have them kill him?” “Mr. Naïve is a fitting nickname,” Xiao Hua said. “If I were your Uncle Three, I might have found a way to keep you naïve, but I’m not. Little Master Three, let’s face reality. This was your choice.” I was silent as I looked at Changsha passing by outside the car window. I remembered that Pan Zi had said something similar to me before. Indeed, this was my choice. (...) While we ate, I asked Xiao Hua when the evening’s events would begin. He merely smiled without saying a word and kept making me drink. It was a kind of wine I couldn’t identify by taste, but I suspected it was mung bean roast, which was the kind of beverage grave robbers used to drink. Not only did it have some crystallized sugar and medicinal ingredients in it, but it had a spicy flavor and tasted like mung bean soup. After only a few drinks, I got drunk without warning and didn’t even notice when I became muddle-headed.  When I woke up, it was already the next morning. Xiao Hua and Pan Zi were lying on the sofa in my room, both covered in blood and sleeping soundly. I looked out the window at the bright sunshine and knew that everything was over. — Daomu Biji Volume 8 Part I, ch. 10 'End of the Act'

looking at all this (and this is is my purely my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt), my main issue with ultimate note xiao hua (and heihua by extension which i'll get into briefly) is that he's not only in some aspects a little to a lot OOC, he's mostly a lot more one-dimensional where book xiao hua is anything but

as far as heihua as a ship goes, they don't actually interact much if at all until much later in canon, even if you interestingly discover in sha hai that it's implied that hei xiazi is working with wu xie on the sha hai project at xiao hua's behest, and that much of his trust in wu xie and his plan stems from xiao hua's trust in wu xie:

It was really a heavy loss. Why did he encounter such tragic consequences every time he tried to emulate Lei Feng67 and do good deeds, while doing unethical things often made him a lot more money? Was he being cheated by partnering up with Xie Yuchen and Wu Xie? He found it very interesting. He seldom completely ignored the details and promised others he’d do something. If he was part of a certain plan, then he had to know every aspect very well— not only his part but the others’ parts as well This was the only time he was doing something he knew almost nothing about, and the only reason was: “You just have to trust him.” He hoped doing this wasn’t a stupid decision. If this thing failed, then he would blacken the Wu family’s and Xie Yuchen’s credit himself. — Sand Sea Part III, ch. 117 'Fleeing Cockroaches'

there's also a fun bit in part I where hei xiazi, before disappearing to retrieve wu xie and wang meng from beneath the sand in gutongjing, leaves li cu with a backpack and a phone with one number he tells him to call for help, and once li cu actually calls it, you understand it's xiao hua on the other end who's entirely nonchalent about it:

Li Cu trembled as he picked up the phone, pressed the call button on reflex, and put it by his ear. After a while, he heard a voice from the other side say: “Who is it? Who called me just now?” “Well…I’m a messenger.” Li Cu said incoherently. “Someone asked me to give you a message.” He thought that after hearing this, the other party would reply to him and say “talk” or “wait a minute, I’ll find a quiet place” in a very low, solemn voice, but the other party said indifferently: “I’m a little busy now, can you call me back in thirty minutes?” Li Cu paused for a moment and thought, you’re even giving me orders now, before he said, “But this message is very important.” “My business is also quite important. If he’s really in such a hurry, why not come to me instead of asking you to call and give me a message?” The other party continued, “I’ll talk to you in thirty minutes. It’s okay if you don’t call.” At this point, the man hung up. — Sand Sea Part I, ch. 40 'Unique Number'

and it's arguable that much of the vagueness stems from the very real necessity of secrecy that the whole sha hai plan demands, but while much of this reads as "oh? he's inconvenienced? that's too bad, also i'm busy at the moment please call back at a better time", given how his character has been established before, it's safe to say this isn't the genuine annoyance and exasperation you get from him in ultimate note wherever hei xiazi is concerned, he's far too enticed by chaos as a form of vaguely perverse amusement. it reads far more (again in my opinion) as how much of heihua's dynamic that i've seen play out in the books goes, that is to say them prodding at each other in a giant mutual game of chicken where they're both grinning inwardly or outwardly like the gremlin trashmen they are

the entire premise of restart part 2 is the iron triangle and the baby triangle needling xiao hua into gossiping about hei xiazi because he's late to their get together, to which he happily complies because oh boy that's this week's chance at getting a tally on the prod sheet.

i'm not entirely sure this is coherent or at all what you were looking for, and is definitely way too long woops, but uh. that's my xiao hua/heihua word vomit? i guess? book xiao hua and/or heihua enthusiasts are very welcome to add onto or debate any of this, i leave the rest to the real experts 😂

[myprincejinnie]

fic recs for my anime hotties!!

-separated by anime & character and then genre-

if it has more than one genre like mafia and soulmate au then i will put it in the section that i think it leans more towards, but most will have summaries and warnings as well so it will be easy to figure out (hopefully lol). the genre is more au based and not like friends to lovers and stuff bc most aus have those genres as well and it is hard to separate. if it doesn't have an au it is prob in others. this list looks kind of scuffed bare w it pls. i really just made this to keep track of my fav fics so i can reread them. + some of them i haven't read in a while. and others i didn't add bc they are either on hold or it is pretty obvious that they are never going to be finished )); i really like hybrid, a/b/o, and soulmate aus so lots of those !! i go to tumblr after finishing my manhwas and when i get tired of trying to find fics on ao3, so i prob have more on the ao3 list. in regards to this anime tumblr fic rec list, i have a lot more on the ao3 list but it is going to take forever to put together . . . i am scared.

find other group and fandom lists here.

>>the mentioned ao3 list<< this one is going to take a while lol . . .

📕 - one shot/head cannon/short

📚 - series

🔃 - ongoing

✅️ - completed

🔞 - smut + not going to put all warnings for the type of smut going on in each so make sure to read warnings on the og post jic

Kiyoomi Sakusa (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

Soulmate!Sakusa x Reader by watevermelon📕

Summary: request --

>> Warnings & Tags: none. Notes: I love this author so lots from them!!

Golden Swirls by hawks-supremacy📕

Summary: when Sakusa's sister told him how people found their soulmates, he was disgusted. or at least until he found his. >> Warnings & Tags: no warnings, fluff and angst

___childhood friends___

Envy by watevermelon📕🔞

Summary: Childhood friends with Sakusa Kiyoomi, you were sure that your unrequited desires would simply stay that way. From play-dates in his backyard to being the manager of the Itachiyama volleyball team, you were content with watching your friend pursue his dream. >> Warnings & Tags: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 394, Explicit one-shot; smut, Porn with Plot; Unreliable Narrator; Jealousy but actual mutual pining; lots of Humor; semi-public sex; dominant Sakusa; near face-fucking; finger fucking; eating out

___fluff___

Quiet Sort of Love by watevermelon📕

Summary: As manager of the Fukurōdani volleyball club, there was no doubt that Itachiyama’s Sakusa Kiyoomi was a strong ace. He brought your team to their knees on multiple occasions, but what you were not expecting was getting to know the nationally acclaimed spiker beyond just the titles and labels. >> Warnings & Tags: Implicating language and slight spoilers toward the end (you will be warned beforehand :)), lots of fluff, angst, slight BokuAka, character development, mutual pining at one point, Buckle up boys cause this is a LONG one LMAO

Tetsurō Kuroo (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

He's my soulmate by honeypirate📕

Summary: You can communicate telepathically with your soulmate, sending thoughts and feelings to them. it’s a skill that develops through time after you hit 17.  it takes a few months for the connection to grow so for the first little while not a lot comes through. So far you have similar songs getting stuck in your head and thoughts will come through quietly. You tried once to send specific messages but you never had any responses to them so you tried to just go about your day, excited with any thought or songs that come through. >> Warnings & Tags: Kuroo x f!Reader soulmate AU, soulmates

Soulmate Singer by sundrop-tetsu📕

Summary: your voice was truly something. he loved hearing it. and he often heard you singing. but honestly, he thought it was a mere hobby of yours. finding out his soulmate is american was a bummer because of the distance. but hey, you have a concert in tokyo coming up. and thankfully, his friends are your biggest fans >> Warnings & Tags: kuroo tetsurou x gn!popsinger!reader, gender-neutral reader

HAWKS (MHA)

___soulmate au___

Falling for You by flannel-cladpika📕

Summary: This AU is from my list of BNHA Soulmate AU’s. This one took a lot longer than most of my stories do, but I like the way it turned out. Enjoy! Hawks x F!Reader soulmate au >> Warnings & Tags: none, female reader

TOJI (JJK)

welp . . . i will just call this

___smut___

Bunny Girl Toji by aizawa-horny-brigade📕🔞

Summary: Request -- Toji with a cute bunny girl. She’s sweet and allows him to do whatever he wants with her. Always wakes him up with a bj 🥺Who knows how a mean asshole like him got her to begin with. Certainly seems like the type to have “won” her from a shitty owner after gambling. >> Warnings & Tags: male receiving oral, Toji being a bully

milkmaid. by aizawa-horny-brigade📚✅️🔞

Summary: straight smut, y’all. Downright filth 😤 ✨enjoy✨ >> Warnings & Tags: literally smut, read warning for each part, part 1 -- Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!Reader (ft. Puppyboy!Yuji), part 2 --Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader, part 3 -- Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader

GOJO (JJK)

gojo. by demxnscous📕

Summary: gn + sorcerer!reader, mutual pining, reader and Gojo are good friends, he gets a little possessive(?) in this, extended metaphors yay >> Warnings & Tags: none.

LAST UPDATED/ADDED ON: 12.21.2023

[oliverwolfboy]

Where are my bsd tma crossovers and aus!? Like what the fuck are you guys doing this has so much unexplored potential. I don't care if you do it with abilities or without, I just want my bsd tma au fics, and not just trying to make the bsd characters into the archive staff, or just having the bsd characters show up in the archive and beat everythings ass including the entities somehow even though the entities can't be beat EVEN with gravity, because Oh mY gOD sO sTroNg. No no no no I want to see them struggle, I want to see one of them get trapped, taken by the buried, went to the circus of the other and never come out, or something that is new and not one of the avatars from the og podcast, just something, even better don't have Ranpo figuring it out immediately, because number 1) that is just unrealistic even by Ranpo standereds, Ranpo is a man of logic, even if he does make some lapses in logic, but those lapses are possible to the world they are in, and we only really take them as lapses because we can't see Ranpo's process of thought, if we could see his thoughts then these lapses would probably make sense, however metaphysical entities (or possibly just one entity with a lot of variation) made of the fear of all living beings is nowhere near logical even in a world with abilites, which is another problem for Ranpo, because any avatars or weird shit could be blamed on abilites, of course it can't just be blamed on abilites forever, there are archives after all (archives and not archive because in the canon of tma there are shown to be multiple archives, which also brings up the possiblity of multiple archivists at the same time, which is something i chose to believe in) and there wouldn't be archives or at least not to the public, if none thought what they saw was supernatural. Ranpo also wouldn't have access to the actual archive only the library where there is barely anything of actaul note, which brings me to number 2) it could make Ranpo an eye avatar, now why isn't Ranpo already an eye avatar? Because he's never actually had to try, he always figures it out in just a few seconds so he's never really felt that drive to know, never had that feeling of curiosity or the need to know even if it kills you, because he has always known, but now he doesn't, there is to much missing, he can try and find solutions that might work but none of them feel right, like there is some missing puzzle piece that he can't for the life wrap his head around, this has never happend before even with Dazai, though he struggle figured out most of it at least, not this time, this time he has nothing, no idea of what is going on, he is stuck in a desert and ever time he thinks he sees water, or just some kind of salvation it turns out to be a hallucination, a concoction from the mind of a desperate man, and this is where shame sets in, because if he can't solve something so simple then could he really call the greatest detective, and this shame transforms into that need, that need to know even if it kills him. Now there is a lot of places you can take this idea, will Ranpo go to his local spooky eye place? Will he be a freelancer? Well it is almost a guarantee that he will drive away the other members of the detective agency with his obsession. Of course you can come up with your own ideas. This is just one of many ideas i have, and i am probably also going to post some of them too. Now onto a real question how are avatars going to attack ability users, well the entities are very adaptable, in the og podcast they just had to deal with normal humans, now however since there are gifted they are most likely going to make stronger avatars, plus because of gifted the avatars will have to be smarter about how they go about their hunting, also there are probably also going to be gifted avatars, but case and point the entities and avatars are going to adapt, so they will always be at the top of the good chain. Also Hunt avatar bram gooo bruh

[lesferatu]

I have read a lot of Welcome to Tumblr posts for reddit people and I agree with most of it but something I haven't seen has to do with tag etiquette. I've seen people say "do whatever" and I don't completely agree with that specifically. What they should say is "there is no specific tag for each community, so don't worry too hard about it and if you want to talk in the tags, that is more than encouraged" but there are a few rules

So here's some tagging guidelines:

Only tag what is relevant to the post at hand. If you have specific tags for organization of your blog, then you can use those. If you tag irrelevant stuff, not only is it super annoying and clogs up the tag but you will be reported for spam and that can get you banned. So chat and keysmash all you want but don't tag something that's trending to get more attention and dont mention characters in the thing you are talking about who arent mentioned in the post. The search function barely works as is on a good day, don't make it worse

If you are unsure what to tag, search what you are posting about and look at what other people are tagging. Keep the above rule in mind. You can save your post as a draft if you are in the middle of writing and can't search

If I remember correctly, the first 5 tags count for the search feature and the first 10 tags (? Could be 15) count for filtering tags, which is important for tagging spoilers and triggers, if you do that

On that note: Tag Spoilers for new media

If you do chat (which again is greatly encouraged and is, in fact, half the fun) remember that the person you reblog from and the original poster (or OP) will get a notification and will be sent your tags, so be respectful. You *are* yelling into the void but some of the void can read

I wouldn't use "prev tags" right now, since staff broke the ability to follow reblog chains easily, so it's hard to find what you are referring to. If you must talk to the person you are reblogging from, do something like "prev tags: [insert prev tags here]" or "[insert prev tags here] <- prev tags" in your tags then say what your going to say

And just cause I know this has been a problem in the past, if you are here for minecraft youtubers/streamers, Do Not tag your posts as "minecraft" or "mineblr". That tag is for people who play the game normally to share their builds and the like. Again, you can search the specific youtubers/streamer/smp to get the tag that most people use for that specific community or use "mcyt" to find the general stuff

And last but not least, you do not have to tag! It is a personal choice. It'll get your own posts to the people who might like it, some people like to organize their blog (not me lol,) and tagging spoilers is just common decency, but reblogs dont show in the search, only the og post, and you don't have to tag if you don't want to; the people who follow you/look at your blog will see your post and nobody else

Edit cause I just remembered this one: don't main tag hate. If you hate a ship and want to post about it, don't tag the ship. At least tag it as "[ship name] hate" or "[ship name] discourse" so people who like that ship don't have to stumble across it on the main tag and can filter it. Doesn't have to be a ship, could be a show or a hobby or a book. People who enjoy a thing have just as much right to have a good experience on here as you have a right to hate that thing. Stay civil, it's the only way this place is as chill as it is now (and I say that as someone who's been here since the beginning. Whatever drama you find on here now is Nothing compared to what it was on this hellsite (affectionate) before)

If you can think of anything else, please add, and if you have any questions, just ask!

[xxquartzxx]

my feelings about Wicked (2024) bc i have nowhere else to post them

1. immediately dubious of ariana grande’s casting and performance in no one mourns. felt like she was trying to impersonate the og too much but not enough to get some kind of opera training to make the high notes sound less like her pop songs. did appreciate her emotion at the end of the song when the munchkins are celebrating elphaba’s death.

2. cynthia erivo has a beautiful voice. but it is far too clean and pure in tone for elphaba (imo). her voice sounded way too young and innocent to be elphaba. elphaba’s voice needs trauma and maturity. i realize erivo is a mature woman, but i dont understand why she chose to vocalize elphaba this way. otherwise her acting performance was great, but she singing voice made my suspension of disbelief drop every time.

3. the costuming at the oz dust ballroom is one of the best things about the wicked musical. the ensemble is in black and white, making glinda’s pink dress and elphaba’s green skin stand out even more. they ignored this aspect in the movie, which i can understand for visual reasons. but then at least have the ensemble in a similar monochrome color palette. a neutral brown/orange color palette would have had a similar effect to the musical’s b&w consuming and compliment the light blue set design.

4. the costuming and set design in the emerald city. this is where the color theory is so important in the musical and they COMPLETELY IGNORED IT. the emerald city is the first time that elphaba blends in with the crowd. but instead in the movie they include hints of pink in the costuming and set design? a emerald city towns person literally has a magenta coat and oz has bushes of light pink roses in his lair. again, i understand wanting variation for visual reasons but they could have achieved this with YELLOW in a similar way to the musical or teal or any other green adjacent color. in general the pink/green coloring throughout the movie was annoying bc glinda wears more colors than pink. the opening dress is blue. the emerald city dress is yellow. she’s not elle from leagally blonde.

5. why is dr dillamond a literal goat? made it feel like a disney movie 0/10 did not enjoy. would have preferred if he was more humanoid (standing on 2 legs basically) and became more goaty as the persecution happened.

6. fiyero not hot enough. why are we still casting white men in lead romantic roles? boring.

7. the ONE time erivo has a hint of roughness to her voice is during the last run of defying gravity? the one part of the song where the og has a tone of clarity not heard from elphaba before? the way erivo chose to vocally characterize elphaba makes no sense. after defying gravity she has more clarity so it makes sense for her voice to be more pure in tone. not the complete opposite. can’t wait for erivo’s performance of no good deed bc that song requires so much vocal characterization and so far her choices have been opposite from the og.

8. i loved the big group choreography. the dance numbers during “what is this feeling” gave me life. the choreographer is the only one who did not sin in this movie.

9. set design was stunning and beautiful other than aforementioned emerald city pinks but i have a feeling that was a choice of the director and cinematographer so i will not blame them.

10. these are just my thoughts and opinions as a wicked obsessed loser. no hate to the people who worked their asses of to make this movie

disclaimers: i barely watched promotional content of knew much going in. i did love the gayness

[the-invisible-queer]

I feel like this is gonna make me sound both like a know-it-all nitpicking you and an insane weirdo who was way too invested in the relationship of two teenagers I don't know but. As someone who literally hyperfixated on both Nick and Miley for basically all of my formative years, and as a result just permanently has an encyclopedia's worth of useless information about their teenage selves stored in my brain even though both fixations died off years ago and I barely pay attention to either of them now, some parts of your post about them are simply killing me and I HAVE to correct and expand on it or I'll explode lol, I'm sorry it's nothing personal:

Kevin misspoke in the doc; the Hannah Montana episode wasn't when they met, they were already dating by then. They met at a charity event on June 11, 2006 according to Miley's book, with Nick also eventually calling June 11 their anniversary in Wedding Bells. IIRC Miley said in the book that Hannah Montana had only been airing for a few months when they met and the boys hadn't really done much of anything with Disney yet, which would definitely indicate emotions happening before any publicity did.

(There's also a very funny/interesting/wtf piece of lore re: this date from yearrrrrs later where Miley either mixed up the dates herself or tried to retcon her own life and gaslight everyone about public information by claiming on Twitter that June 11 was her anniversary with Liam, then deleted it, then announced her divorce very shortly after. That's not really directly related to anything we're discussing here but it was such a bizarre thing to watch happen in real time that it almost dragged me back into the fixation again as a grown ass adult, so I felt compelled to bring it up anyway lmao.)

A LOT of the og Niley Lore came from Miles to Go, where Miley dedicated an entire chapter to Nick (called "Prince Charming" in the book) and their relationship. I don't remember every detail anymore but she definitely said they clicked instantly, became boyfriend and girlfriend the day they met, and stayed up talking on the phone until like 4 a.m. that night, all of which backs up what Kevin said about love at first sight. She also explicitly said in the book that they truly loved each other and had a serious relationship despite how young they were.

A lotttttt of JB songs, especially but not exclusively the ones from the mid-to-late 2000s, are thought to be about Miley and some are very obvious if you know The Lore, but the only ones I know were ever explicitly confirmed besides the ones you mentioned are Sorry, Can't Have You and, of course, Before the Storm. The "hugs are overrated" part of SOS is sometimes thought to be a reference to the day they met, where according to Miley's book he tried to shake her hand and she told him she only did hugs, but I've always assumed that was probably just a coincidence since it seems like logistically it must have been written before they broke up and that would be a weirdly snarky line to write about your current girlfriend. Burnin' Up is also very very heavily thought to have been inspired by Miley, specifically by her look at the 2007 AMAs, which you can Google if you're interested enough; I do believe this one, which makes Selena's appearance in that specific music video much, much funnier.

Essentially all of Miley's earlier Miley songs (as opposed to Hannah ones) are also either confirmed or commonly thought to be about Nick. Also possibly of note is that some of Demi's early songs are also rumored to have a lot of Miley inspiration in them due to Nick co-writing them, which is simply amusing to me, especially considering the chances that at least one song probably ended up being partially about Nick's ex and partially about his brother. I never fixated on Demi or her music as hard as I did on these two though, so I no longer remember which specific songs were implicated here.

Nick confirmed Wedding Bells in his 'answering Google's most searched questions' video, where you could tell even he was thinking "who tf else did y'all think that one could have been about" lmao.

The messy little ping pong game Nick played between Miley and Selena for a while was definitely confirmed; I don't remember if any of them ever explicitly acknowledged it (outside of lyrics like "you love me, you like her" from 7 Things which...damn girl scalp him again), but to me and the other hyperfixated kids following along at the time, the dates alone made it obvious lol. He first got with Selena after the first time he and Miley broke up and then repeated that exact pattern at least two more times over the next few years, rarely being single for any significant length of time at all in between. Baby fuckboi behavior.

In conclusion, both of them have been pretty clear and consistent over the years that the emotions of it all came first and were very real, even if Disney may have capitalized on those emotions for publicity purposes. My specific examples are fuzzy since the fixations were dead by then but I know both of them have described the other as their first love and first heartbreak well into adulthood, including as recently as I think last year for Miley (where she revealed that the first time they broke up she asked if she could give him a hug goodbye and he said no, which is lowkey hilarious even though it makes baby Nick sound like a douche - although knowing his sensitive ass he was probably just afraid he'd start sobbing or something if she hugged him lol).

The only non-Niley piece of input I have to add is that in recent years Miley has definitely expressed negative and complicated emotions about starting her career so young, not in the sense that she didn't actually want it at the time but in the sense that like...children often want to do things that wouldn't be good for them or that they aren't capable of fully understanding the ramifications of, but that doesn't mean their parents should allow them to do those things or that they'll appreciate having been allowed to do those things when they look back as an adult. I don't know a ton about her feelings on it since again, I don't actively follow her anymore and only really see what comes across my feed, but it seems like it was definitely much more complicated than "her dad sold her to Disney Channel" or "she wasn't forced into it so it was fine." For the record I've often wondered if any of the Jonas boys have similar emotions about their young stardom, as most child stars seem to to some degree, but honestly feel like if they do we'll never ever hear about it; they just don't give me the vibe that they'd ever be comfortable talking about that publicly, especially if it involves any complex feelings towards their parents, who they seem to have much closer and healthier relationships with than Miley has with hers.

OKAY I'M DONE sorry that was a whole novel you didn't ask for but I literally have had all these stupid factoids about these two strangers just bouncing around in my head for like almost twenty years and almost never get the chance to put this wealth of knowledge to "use" anywhere, so on the rare occasions I can vomit all this up I kind of get carried away lmao whoops

BESTIE NEVER APOLOGIZE! Especially not when it comes to rambling about fixations. My blog is a safe space!

Though I wish you could add cuts in asks because RIP to everyone's dash I'll try to add tags so people with long posts blocked can ignore.

I'll be the first one to admit my fuck up with Jonas lore. Deadass don't remember anything Miley wrote in her book about Nick and I read Miles to Go twice but I have the memory of a twig.

I can't even remember what I was doing 5min ago - no joke.

Also my timeliness are SO fucking hazy - it's the trauma - because I'm learning shit I thought happened with JB in 2011 happened in 2009.

I am not the most reliable source.

Also I didn't care about Nick much back then. That's from when he was my least favorite (derogatory).

Thank you for illuminating us on the subject! I actually did learn a lot from that.

[anotherobeymeblog]

Obey Me cast relationship with MC songs (2023 edition)

Found this post when scrolling through my old posts from 2020 and decided it would be fun to give it another crack now that 1) we have a LOT more canon material to go off and B) my taste in music has expanded past just grandma songs (not that I don't still enjoy grandma songs ofc) Also adding Diavolo, Barbatos, and Solomon since I have a better grasp on their personalities now. (Well, only barely with Barbatos, but we'll get to that lol)

Warnings: mild spoilers for lesson 16 of the original game in Belphie's, some of these songs use gendered language when talking about the significant other (implied female: Mammon; implied male: Levi, Asmo) *this doesn't mean MC must be that gender in those scenarios*

Lucifer: Honey Moon by Birds in the Airport. Okay, starting off on a somewhat angsty note lol. But look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong. "...tear open every exit from the maze inside my mind" like come ON that's literally what MC does with Lucifer. Whether he'd verbalize any of this is another question entirely, but also isn't the point here.

Mammon: Fair by The Amazing Devil. I hemmed and hawed over this for a while, tbh. Wasn't sure if it was a lil too soft for his outwardly prickly ass, but I eventually settled on "this is him but he sure as hell isn't admitting it any time soon". The trouble with tsundere characters ig. But anyway he's a dork and the trying to make his partner laugh when they're mad at him felt very on-brand.

Leviathan: A Shitty Gay Song About You by Ezra Williams. I've associated Levi with this song for quite a while now. It has it all. Goldfish, self-deprication, pining, it's great. Oh, for Levi to lend me his sweatshirt tbh.

Satan: Cat Serenade by Beetlebug. Absolutely adorable song. It has cat metaphors, it has pining, it has the whole "I used to never open up to anyone but here we are", it's just super Satan in a lot of ways.

Asmodeus: Freckles by Kevin Atwater. I mean it's just adorable, first of all. But second of all, the theme of actually falling in love with someone for real when you're used to more casual relationships is pretty fundamental to Asmo's relationship with MC.

Beelzebub: Strawberry Mentos by Leanna Firestone. Idk maybe this is a bit too straightforward but even outside of any food references, it's such a sappy, sacchirine love song that it really does feel Right for Beel, big babey that he is.

Belphegor: Grace, Anatomy by Homemade Haircuts. Okay, while this isn't really addressed in-game, if he ends up in a relationship with MC, the shit that happened in the attic is gonna be weighing pretty heavy on his mind for a long time. Between that and his general abandonment issues, this song is an excellent reflection of his feelings about MC (at least early on in the relationship), even if most of it is stuff he would never actually say out loud.

Simeon: Chai Tea by audrey. Yeah, yeah, I know the title sounds more Barbatos, but the song itself is just so cozy and easygoing. (Of all the possible words to describe Barbatos, I think "easygoing" is about the last thing that would come to mind). All the other love interests are a bit more... uh... intense. Whereas this song is literally just being incredibly sappy and drawing a quiet comfort from the other person's presence even without talking about anything in particular.

Diavolo: Touch Starved by BB Bean. This doesn't require much elaboration, I don't think. The title says it all. Like honestly. "I'm just tired of the bubble, I just wanna hand to hold" is deadass how he acts in every surprise guest (at least in the og game, less so in nightbringer lol). Just wants to feel normal smh

Barbatos: A Wistful Waltz by Teddy Hyde. Okay, I need to apologize to Barbatos stans bc I struggle so much to figure this guy out (which I suspect is the point, but it makes it damn hard to come up with headcanons for him). But based on my tenuous grasp on his personality and... odd dynamic with MC, I think this should fit the bill. It's subdued but with that underlying intensity that I always seem to pick up on with him.

Solomon: Painting Roses by Dresses. I actually don't have much explanation for this, but Solomon in Nightbringer especially is just. He's such a fuckin disaster, man. (I actually was torn between giving this song to Solomon or Satan, but I ended up going with Sol in the end)

[lqfiles]

heyy uhm thjs is my first time sending these kind of things and i js wanted to say that i really really reallyyyyy love stg, i've been reading it since chapter 10ish? but started following at about 20ish (srry abt that) and ik it doesn't mean much coming from an anonymous person but it makes me very happy (and PROUD) to see how many people are reading it now and how many asks you get :) overall im js immensely proud of you and your work

again ik it does not mean much coming from an anon but still you have no idea how great my days get when i get notis from your acc replying to questions or anons (cause i've figured it usually mean that you'll upload another chapter) ANYWAYS i've been struggling a LOT these few months, and one of the only things I seriously look up to is stg, so again, thank you SO so much :(

you don't even have to reply to this or anything (bc tbh i wouldn't know what to say either lol) but i would appreciate it if you could at least read it and know just how much power your ideas and writing actually have <3

also not sure if 50 was the last chapter (?) i was planning on writing smth like this when the smau ended BUT ITS WHATEVER RLLY !! anyways i will never be able to thank u enough for taking your time in this and genuinely putting effort and feelings on it, you are amazing !!

also im from Chile so idk if i made any mistakes while typing this… whatever i'll make sure to support you through each and every work of yours from now on ! take care <333

(god this was a little long IM SORRY again you don't have to reply to this i js hope u read it and know just how capable and dedicated you are and how happy you can make other people iwnsnsks <3)

anon you actually made me tear up wthh :(( LONG ANSWER INCOMING……

i think this is the best thing i could’ve been told and hear, and the fact that it’s anonymous doesn’t change how much your words mean to me trust me. i honestly wasn’t sure how commited i’d be to this smau since i never have managed to finish a slow burn ideas because of the lack of creativity. but i think the fact that you still kept up from such an early chapter (when i remember pointing out that i’m really just writing this without a full plot yet multiple times) is endearing and don’t worry, i don’t take it to heart that you didn’t follow me immediately loll, for all you knew this could’ve been the shittiest piece of writing and then you’d have to just unfollow lmaooo. also i think it’s cute that those who have kept up from early on until now have witnessed with me the growth of this series and the support on it 😭 i remember when 70 notes in day alone excited me and would get giddy by getting a SINGLE ask hsjdjdjd and now i’ve had chapters with 400 notes and get 10+ asks ??? i didn’t even really dwell on it that you guys who have been ogs too have seen the growth too :(( i think it’s quite funny, because last year, i rarely got any asks and barely checked on this account except for posting some drabbles here and there, and didn’t even speak to any mutuals, i remember i told myself i’d keep this a writing blog only without interacting much at all but ever since stg i’m surprised by the amount of mutuals i’ve made and how many people are really perceiving my account AND how interactive i’ve been even tho i’d usually log out immediately after posting something lmaoo! it’s cute and i appreciate you for sticking around and being proud of me !!! it honestly catches me off guard when some of you say that stg is the highlight of your day or how much you love it or how it has inspired you to start writing yourself, because i can’t comprehend myself being influential like that at ALL 😭😭 but at the same time it warms my heart every time because it makes me feel useful…? i like seeing people happy and feel inspired by something i did so seeing people be so happy of a mere chapter really does make me smile :) i’m sorry to hear that life is hard on you, but again it means a lot to me knowing stg DOES affect your day positively (can’t believe we’ll be reaching the end tho..)

this wasn’t the last chapter, i got two more and then some bonus chapters so i hope you’ll enjoy them and my future work as well anon <33 i’ll continue to pour my effort and feelings into my writing love you and thank you for making time to write this !!!

[lost-girl-2021]

🤗

What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I actually really wanted someone to ask this question. I'll answer from two different POVs, a reader and a writer.

As a reader, something that turns me away from fics is punctuation/spacing. Something I learned in school was that every paragraph should be around 5-7 sentences. Obviously, with fiction writing, it's a little looser but try to steer clear from page-long paragraphs. They can be hard to keep up with, sometimes.

Usually, as long as it's nothing crazy, I look past spelling errors and stuff, but I personally use Grammarly (the free version) and just have it enabled on my laptop (it's also great for school papers if you're still in school, FYI). I honestly don't look over my writing more than once most of the time, but the big stuff is marked in red and I can usually catch it before posting.

Also, if you don't feel comfortable/don't want to swear in your work, just don't. I've seen some other people say similar things (and I don't see it nearly as often anymore) but when people use "#%@*(" instead of swearing it pulls me out of the fic. There's non-swears you can use as alternatives and they flow better in my opinion.

As a writer, I'd say don't force yourself to write things sequentially. A lot of the time when I get the initial idea for something, I write a scene and work my way around it. For Days Into Decades, I wrote my beginning, then wrote some nonsensical scene that'll end up as my ending, and did some big scenes scattered throughout as my middle. Now, I go back through my doc and reread what I've written to pick and choose what I want/don't want to use.

Also, don't write on social media when you're creating a post. What I mean, is use something like Google Docs, which saves automatically, in case your device crashes or lags and deletes everything. The amount of times I've flat-out rage quitted something because I've lost like 2k of thoughts is uncountable.

I really like Google Docs and work pretty much exclusively on there when working on my drafts. I'm bad at labeling my docs, but trying to work on it more given the sheer amount of 'untilted documents' I have to search through when I'm looking for a specific old project. It also just works well with what I'm using, because I have a Chromebook (mostly because it's the closest I could get to a Nokia-level of durability).

At the end of the day, what really helps is keeping with it. I cringe at the thought of this, but my OG fanfic was a PJO x Avengers Tower AU with my own OC named "Paxton, but everyone calls me Pax". It had clipart and I used Pic Collage and I had a linked Instagram filled with Batman memes. No part of it made sense and because I wrote on my (barely functioning) 2015 Samsung (in 2017) it was riddled with spelling errors and every other sentence was an Author's Note filled with random emoji's.

My writing compared to then, even compared to a year ago, has completely changed. I've probably written at least five pages a week since I was thirteen. Now, almost twenty, I feel really confident about my writing style and the things I publish. I also usually ask for comments so I can get feedback on what I've written (and because I really like talking).

If anyone has any specific questions or wants me to check out their work (doesn't have to even be fanfiction, or it can be for a fandom I've never even heard of) feel free to DM me. I'd be happy to check it out when I'm free.

[someobscurereference]

tags that got cut off on the og post:

i was pacing around my house thinking of some parts of this. primarily:

'Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. '

i don't show it enough in my fics because a lot of my fics are fates focused or au focused for convenience sake so i want the awakening trio to be hanging out way more and have had their growth but canonically before awakening they really like. Do Not Associate.

i think of this for so many of the awakening kids in general but like. they all travel through time together. they go through something like the future past DLC together. their lives depend on each other so much. most of them cannot stand each other.

inigo and owain Do Not fucking get along and never have really until fates when they're both adults and even then they're ribbing each other. there's no doubt to me that they have gotten into a physical fight at least once before. or they avoid each other and are extremely rude when forced to work together outside life or death scenarios. especially pre-awakening.

in their supports owain tries to be nice to severa repeatedly and she goes out of her way to be extra rude to the point that he has a crises about being weird. and even if their s support isnt' canon, severa notes that owain was always nice to her and she struggled with being nice back throughout their lives

inigo and severa don't get along either. inigo is trying to be “nice”/build his confidence of talking to others with compliments, but he's genuinely condescending and quite rude and doesn't listen to severa telling him to stop talking to her like that.

note: severa actively goes out of her way to be mean to a lot of people back then. she's not easy to get along with. (interestingly she tells noire she only does this to take people down a peg and doesn't do it to people with no self esteem like noire. (similar to niles in a way. to be explored later.)

These people are Not Close and they are not each other's first choices to hang out. and they probably were aware of each other in childhood but much more aware when they're older.

owain's childhood friends were probably the Justice Cabal (morgan/marc, cynthia, brady by virtue of maribelle being besties with lissa)

severa canonically hung with noire to the point where noire grew up relying on her. i suspect she hung with the girls most of all. (Edit: to clarify I think she gravitates towards the other girl kids most like Noire or Lucina but I don’t know that she’s actually close to any of them besides maybe Noire and even then, she’s taking on a caretaker role there. And she pushes everyone else away with insults and cruelty. She’s sort of like a mirror of Inigo to me.)

inigo... i'm not sure he has any close childhood friends. which could be attributed to maybe living in Regna Ferox with Olivia if you believe they went with basilio after the first war. or maybe learning early on to hide his real self early on so he never lets anyone get close. he clearly Cares about everyone in a 'won't let anyone die if he can help it/won't let them die alone (gerome/owain)' kind of way but is he Close with them? I don't think so. not until Awakening and he has A supports

in my hc i always assume everyone reaches their A supports in awakening and then fates happens but like. what if they didn't? and then they're in nohr together like. three people who have had their lives changed together and like. you hardly know what foods these people like. you can hardly be in the same room for longer than 15 minutes.

it makes me think of an erased au i need to get back to that is somewhat of a relationship study between severa/owain/inigo as teens/preteens who really don't get along but even then I don't think i'm making them as rude or cruel to each other as I know they probably can be in their worst, most immature moments.

to be clear i love them getting along/growing up (obviously since that's what I write most) but i think about this Growth period a lot.

anyway i'll end this here because i could keep going and dissect each line individually and i'll just go on for too long.

u bring up great points anon is what i'm trying to say.

Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.

x

[coderfortourette]

Kentucky and Birthdays

If I posted some of these headcanons already- I have ADHD so it’s bound to happen.

Kentucky loves birthdays. He makes sure that he remembers everybody’s birthday. (which for the states, they use statehood day for simplicity). And it makes sense, the birthday song was made in Kentucky. 

The reason for his love of birthdays predates that. All the way back to when he became a state. Kentucky was the 15th state. He spent at least ten years working to get statehood. And at one point almost had it, but then New Hampshire ratified the Constitution and he had to go back to square one. 

So Kentucky had been waiting a long time. And when Vermont became the 14th state, he saw the celebration he got. (Because the first state that wasn’t a member of the OG 13!) Which only made him more excited. 

But when his statehood day came, June 1st, 1792. He barely got an acknowledgement from Virginia, the state he broke away from. Because at this point “new” states was old news. 

As a result of that disappointing day, Kentucky swore up and down that he would make sure every new state got a celebration. And it ended up growing from there to being every birthday. 

He showed up to every statehood. He would bring a gift (a pocket watch and a quilt) and some food. Gifting them to the new state. Then as the years passed he’d get better at knowing what each state liked (flavors, gifts, activities, etc). He recorded everything down in notebooks. 

Kentucky started off with just one notebook to keep track of everything. But that ended up filling up fast. So he switched to one notebook per person. They’re all the same plain design. He put some masking  tape on the font once that was invented and wrote the different state names on them. He keeps them neatly in a box under his bed or in his closet. 

The notebooks get updated every year with notes on what happened and if it was good/successful or not. 

The others know when a birthday is coming up now, because Kentucky will start walking around with one to five notebooks in his hands. (there are some weeks where statehood days are clustered together). 

Because of Kentucky and his diligence on birthdays, most of the states don’t bother to remember any for themselves. They’ll just wait for Kentucky to approach them with a notebook in hand. 

Modern day Kentucky always has three things prepared for birthdays. A cake/cupcake, a card, and a gift. Though he’ll also attempt to take charge on leading party set up. He just doesn’t always get listened to. 

When it comes to birthdays that land on or near holidays, Kentucky makes sure to remember and celebrate the birthday separate from the holiday. (which is really great for Idaho’s July 3rd birthday and all the states with birthdays near Christmas)

Kentucky shares a birthday with Tennessee. But because most people don’t bother to remember birthdays, people will still forget it’s Kentucky’s. Because never says outright “oh, it’s my birthday too”

All he wants is for somebody to remember his birthday. And to give him a gift or a cupcake. He hasn’t gotten it yet. But he refuses to give up, even after 230 years. He’s sure one day he’ll get it. 

[larrikin-is-a-himbo]

My thoughts on the latest YJ episode

(Also, please note I am fairly new to the DC fandom as a whole and have very limited knowledge of the characters.)

M’gann and Connor’s wedding was a little too sappy for my taste but good for them for finally getting some happiness.

Also hopefully Connor grows his hair out by the start of next season because he looks like the embodiment of “Blue Lives Matter” and just no.

Mary has always rubbed me the wrong way and I’m not surprised at her new alliance. There was this post, I can’t find it right now, but OP pointed out the difference between the OG group respecting each other’s boundaries and communicating well, sharing power while trying to enter the Phantom Zone which is a stark contrast to Mary taking her teammates’ power without consent and refusing to see the wrongness in her actions.

I don’t know a lot about the Zods, my only knowledge about General Zod is from Man of Steel but it seems pretty weird that they (the enemies) were black as well as a lot of the prisoners of the Phantom Zone.

Good on Perdita for making it clear she forgives Garfield but letting him know she deserves better.

On a side note, I love Gar’s emotional support pup.

And BABY JON. He has no right being that adorable.

They could’ve done a better job for explanation at the beginning. It should’ve been more subtle, rather the characters outright explaining everything.

Interesting that they went with Kara being one of the furies. If I remember correctly, she had a similar origin story to Kal-El? Not too sure though.

Does the Emerald Empress have a fractured mind now? I know M’gann did at least some damage.

M’gann should’ve been angry with the Team for hiding the truth about Conner, cause even after 4 seasons they still haven’t learned the lesson about not keeping secrets from each other. A lot of the problems they ran into could’ve been avoided if they had just talked to M’gann.

Baby and Bio-ship

What was Metron’s reasoning for just frying this Lor-Zod out of existense? How is the Emerald Empress pregnant? There was no time to bang. Was she already pregnant before being imprisoned in the Phantom Zone? I have so many questions.

Vandal Savage can’t stop butting into EVERYTHING

The timeline just got more messed up. Or at least that’s what I concluded.

I love YJ, I really do, despite all its flaws. It introduced me to a lot of new characters and made me want to learn about them but there are just too many characters concentrated into one show. Too many heroes, too many villains that a lot of them don’t get proper back stories or proper character development, we can’t focus on the growth of individual characters because there’s barely any. It just feels too congested and suffocating.

[shintorikhazumi]

English! AU (1): “My Name is Hannah England.”

A/N: Yeah, it only took me like... 3 years to release this. Wow. Nice. If you’ve seen the OG post for the details for this AU, then you’ve seen it.

Hannah England. I love her.

Enough said.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

"What do you mean I have to come back?!"

An impatient tapping of a foot.

"Well, I can tell you that I bloody won't! Wasn't I removed from the- No! He said it himself. If I were to choose to be a witch, I'd- Mother! NO! Are you listening- Mother I cannot, WILL NOT- We had an agreement!"

She twirled the telephone wire around her finger anxiously until it was so short she had to release it.

No. This could not be happening. No, not now. They had promised! They'd talked about this! This wasn't fair! She had held up her end of the bargain-

"...HAH?! You've sent them to- NO, NO, NO... NO!"

There wasn't even a knock. There was barely even a warning.

It wasn't a cliche breaking down of doors, or smashing of windows, however. It was a swift opening of the door, so fast it barely made a sound.

And there they were.

"N-no..."

"Miss England."

"No... NO! NO, you- YOU CAN'T TAKE ME!"

"These are national orders. I'm afraid there is nothing we can do."

There was nothing she could do.

"W-why..." She choked out, still in a defensive stance, a candleholder held up as a weapon. "We... My grandfather and I agreed on this. I was not to be included in the run-"

"Miss England- no." The bespectacled man caught himself, clearing his throat once before staring at the young girl dead on. "Miss Windsor."

Her eyes widened upon hearing that name, weapon dropping to the floor. She quickly narrowed those same eyes however as she remembered what it meant.

It filled her with rage.

"I- that's no longer-"

"You may only be the fourth in line. However..."

A document was presented to her, with the official signature of... the king... and...

"The prime minister is your primary backer. Do you really think you are in a position to reject?"

"..."

"You have been chosen by most ambassadors."

"Why." It pissed her off. It made her fume. Why. After so long. After all these years. After they'd agreed not to-

"Because according to his majesty... no one is better suited for winning the crown..."

She stepped back as he came forward, grasping her by the arm.

"Than the one who does not want to win the fight for it at all."

//-//-//-//-//

"Hannah? Hannah?" Barbara called out. "We're back?" She went to check Diana's section of the room, the bathroom, and even the closets, hoping to find her best friend in the room. "Hmm... maybe she went for dinner first?"

"Barbara? What's wrong?" Diana walked into the room, brushing some dirt off her coat. This made Barbara automatically check her appearance in the mirror.

"Oh... nothing." Though maybe she should have said that they looked all wrong.

Gosh. They both needed a bath. That five-day mission didn't do their appearances and smells too kindly, it seemed.

She couldn't face Hannah like this. She needed to wash up before meeting the person she'd missed the most these past few days.

Oh, just why did the latest missions have to be pair missions? At least Hannah had gone with Amanda. That put Barbara at ease with regards to her safety. Though, she admitted she was just a little jealous that two of her- ehem- “potential love interests” had been able to go with each other, enjoying themselves without her.

Yes, she’d boldly admit to liking them both.

Sucy’s shaming should never get to her!

Shaking such thoughts and feelings out of her head, she focused on the task at hand. The sooner she got cleaned up, the sooner she could see Hannah! (And Maybe Amanda at dinner, too.)

//-//-//-//-//

A warm shower was only half as good without Hannah.

Ahhhh... just where was she? Barbara could barely wait to sneak into her bed and cuddle 'til daybreak-

"Barbara?" A muffled voice came from the other side of the bathroom door.

Turning the running water off, she replied to the call, "Yes, Diana?"

"Did Hannah mention anything about another mission? I was under the impression she'd just gotten back from the previous one she'd told us about. Or has she not arrived yet?"

Huh? That was strange. Hannah was supposed to have arrived a day or two after she and Diana left.

Wiping herself down and wrapping a towel about her, she exited the steaming room, a frown decorating her features.

"Not that I know of. I didn't notice any notes or letters either..." Now she was beginning to feel strange. "She didn't send any familiar or anything, right?"

Diana mirrored her frown.

"...No. She did not."

A knock came against their door.

"Yes?" Diana answered it as her companion inside quickly got dressed, now in more casual wear.

"Diana! Hannah! Oh, thank goodness you're back!" Akko lunged at her bestfriend, holding tight, that faint blush on the heiress' face going unnoticed. "I was wondering if you knew! I just had to ask! I mean, I'm not that close with her and all yet, but I thought we were friends at least! She didn't say a word! Oh! But I figured you two would know, right? Strange that even Amanda doesn't know... I know they don't always get along, and quarrel and stuff, but Sucy always called them lovers' spats and-"

"Akko." Diana stilled Akko's rambling, grasping her face with both hands, then quickly noticing the intimacy of that gesture and stepping away, releasing the girl. "S-sorry."

"A-ah.. n-no... I-"

"Um... what was... what are you talking about?" Diana tried as she regained her composure. Barbara rolled her eyes fondly at the exchange.

Dorks.

"Oh right!" The girl rushed forward into the room to grab Barbara by the wrist, as well as Diana, dragging them out into the corridors towards the direction of the mess hall.

"Akko?!"

"I wanted to ask you!"

"What?"

They had finally arrived in the dining room, quickly approaching their usual table where the group of friends were gathered about Lotte's magical orb that was now projecting something akin to what one would see on a television screen.

"This!" She pointed.

“What-”

"Why is Hannah on TV?"

"...Huh?!" Barbara suddenly slammed her hands on the table at that sight, surprising everyone including herself because why was Hannah on TV?! And... Why was she next to...

"Also, why did Hannah suddenly have to leave school? It was announced during homeroom for the ones already back from missions."

"What?!" Now Barbara was even more confused. Hannah hadn't mentioned anything about this at all!

"Akko! Shhh!" Lotte scolded, Amanda clamping a hand over their loveable dork's mouth. "We're trying to find out what's going on!"

["The situation in the palace has not been disclosed to the press; however, it seems to be confirmed that dire conditions are currently in place as more and more of the possible successors have returned to the capitol."]

"That reporter is kinda my type- oof!"

"You deserved that." Sucy grinned as Amanda rubbed the sore spot Barbara had inflicted pain on.

"Fuck you."

"No thanks."

["None have been willing to give their statements thus far, but... Oh! We have here the fourth in line! Martin, go get her more focused in the shot since she's the closest- no! Miss Windsor!]

"Windsor?" Akko cocked her head to the side, clearly very confused. "But aren't they calling Hannah? They are calling Hannah... right?"

Barbara didn't really know anymore.

She didn’t know anymore.

Suddenly, a scary looking man came into view, the typical visage of a bodyguard. A low voice growled.

["It was announced that the press was not allowed to interview any of the returning heirs and heiresses. Please return back behind the line."]

["But-"]

The camera view had become shaky, as if the person holding it was being pushed away.

["Miss Windsor! Miss Windsor!"]

["Hey! Didn’t I just-"]

["Miss Hannah Windsor!"]

Barbara stared at the moving image in front of her. This was...There was no mistaking it.

["You're wrong."]

Those words may have seemingly contradicted her inner thoughts, but Barbara knew one thing. This person....

"Hannah..." She murmured, hand clenched over her heart. The girl had spoken up, camera focused on her even at its odd angle. Barbara’s heart couldn’t help but flutter at the voice she’d missed for days. But... it also hurt. To only hear it through a medium like this... “Hannah.”

["You're wrong. My name... isn't Hannah Windsor...] The girl on camera stated with shaky breaths. 

She was right. This wasn’t some Hannah Windsor or someone Barbara didn’t know. This was Hannah England. Her Hannah.

So why...?

[It isn’t that... not... any- oi!"]

“Hannah!” Barbara exclaimed, reaching for a Hannah she couldn’t even touch.

["The press shall not receive any statement from any of the arrivals until further notice. Good day."]

A glasses-wearing man had said before speedily ushering Hannah into the gates, figure going further and further away from Barbara's view.

["We have a scoop! Did you hear that?! Did you-"]

[*beep*]

"Heh... think they got shut down?" Amanda commented, everyone still focused on the now-static-filled projection.

"Maybe. But it's too late to hide some weird statement scandal like that. News spreads annoyingly fast." Sucy responded, taking a bite from her mushroom.

"Still... it's weird." Akko chirped. "Why'd they call Hannah, "Windsor"? That was Hannah, right? Or was she a look-alike? Doppleganger?" She proposed excitedly. "But... she's not here either." She deflated.

The fact that her mission partner, Amanda, was here, and Hannah wasn't ruled out a possibility of it just being a mere double existence.

"Windsor...? WIndsor... Hmmm... Windsor? Why do I feel like I've... heard of that.. before..." Barbara watched Akko wrack her brain for an answer, brows scrunched up in intense thought. "Windsor... that's the name of..."

"The royal family." Diana cut in after having watched everything unfold silently.

"Oh! That's right! The Royal family!" Akko exclaimed, happy to finally get that out of mind... before doing a double take, hurting her neck in the process. "THE ROYAL FAMILY?!"

"Akko, shhh!!"

"She can scream it all she wants, Lotte. Not gonna make a difference." Sucy pointed out. "It's already on the news."

Yes. It was indeed.

The fact that...

//-//-//-//-//

"Miss Hannah England is Royalty. Some of you may have caught wind of this kind of rumors or news." Finnelan spoke during the morning assembly. "This statement is something we have no right to confirm or deny. However, Miss Hannah, has been pulled out of school for personal reasons that shall not be disclosed. No questions shall be asked regarding Miss Eng-Windsor... er... ehem... England anymore.”

“So much for confidentiality and defeating rumors.” Sucy rolled her eyes, Jasminka nodding in agreement next to her.

“That is all. Now, with regards to the third years' mission statuses-"

Barbara had tuned out completely at that point.

Windsor.

Windsor this, Windsor that.

She hated it. Barbara hated it.

Hannah Windsor on news and articles.

Hannah Windsor here. Hannah Windsor... Hannah Windsor... HANNAH WINDSOR.

She... Hannah... Hannah wasn't Hannah Windsor... Hannah was...

"Barbara? Are you okay?" Diana whispered, covering Barbara's clenched one in her own. "Do you want to leave the hall? Get some air?"

"No... I'm fine." Barbara looked up, smiling at Diana unconvincingly. "I'm fine."

“Barbara...”

“Really. I am.”

Barbara ignored Diana’s concerned gazes, not wanting to talk about this anymore.

She could handle this.

She said it herself. She was fine. And she was.

But... even though she said she was fine...

Was Hannah fine?

//-//-//-//-//

["Hey. Nice to meet you."

"...hi..."

"You're rather shy." The girl said with a grin. "You're really pretty too."

She felt herself flush red.

"What's your name?"

"B-Barbara... Barbara... Parker."

"That's a really pretty name, Barbara!" The girl held her hand out for a shake. "Let's get along well!"]

Barbara woke up. with a start, eyes immediately scanning the room, going over the spot next to her on the bed.

Cold. Empty.

Barbara held back a sob, hugging her knees tight to her chest.

Her dream... right. That girl. The one who has been by her side for years now, always there. Always so kind... sort of.

That girl... Barbara's best friend, the one who disappeared all of a sudden, the one who showed up on the news yesterday, who had left Luna Nova... She...

She wasn't Hannah Windsor. No.

She was...

["Oh right! I have to introduce myself as well! Silly me.

Hi! I'll be your friend starting today. And My name is...

Hannah England."]

[djemsostylist]

Of Queens and Trash

Here’s the thing. SCK has been on a downward trend since 13. The breakup was long, getting together again was tiring, the amnesia plot was poorly handled and the mess that came following his recovery was, well, a mess. The necessary break for covid gave us a chance for a fresh start for Edser. All the bad stuff in the past, and a focus in the last episodes of them being able to finally fulfill all the promises they had not been able to. After all, this was a story that, at its core, was about two people who met and fell in love and who, no matter what, chose to be together. Invisible handcuffs. And with the return of the OG writer, it seemed we might finally get that. After 39 episodes of angst and only 7(?) of real togetherness, surely it was time? Forget the pain of the past, and start with Edser navigating their world together.

And then the trailer dropped. And all of a sudden, all the people who had spent months eviscerating Serkan for behaving badly in the 30s were celebrating this new plot, the “great angst” and Eda “being a Queen.”

For me, I can’t get over the hiding of the child. It's a hardline deal breaker. I don’t think it matters who writes it, I think it's an awful plotline. No matter how "good" the trailer looks or moments seem, I will remember that I was watching a show about two people who loved each other and never wanted to be apart, about a man who learned how to open his heart, and this ruined it all.

Now, I think it's worth noting that my hard line, in this particular case, is in response to Edser, if that makes sense. I’m not hardline, “if this is in a story I’m not watching”. If it works for the characters and story because that is the type of story being told, then fine.

I don't subscribe to the woke feminism brand of "all women are Queens and all men are Trash" which seems to be a trend of late (and not just in fandom). I think people are people and people are generally imperfect but also trying. I don’t think women, simply by virtue of carrying a child, get full say in what happens to the child, regardless of the father’s wishes. I'm not fond of a “hiding a kid storyline”, and while I get the whole "my body my choice" style of arguing, it took two people to make the baby. Two people get a say in what happens. I get you are growing the kid, but you didn't spontaneously conceive.

For me, Edser being apart and/or hiding a kid is a hardline. It doesn't fit with the characters as I know them and it doesn't fit with the storyline. And look--I hated the amnesia plot. I thought there were a literal million ways this could have been done better, but it's what we got. So for everyone suddenly defending this new plot, despite it making about as much sense as Eda getting married to make Serkan remember her, then that means everything goes. No blaming writers or ignoring canon...everything has context and meaning now. And since “it's realistic” is also a common refrain, then fine. Let’s go realistic.

Imagine being in a plane crash. You wake up, you have clear physical/mental blocks. For someone who likes to be in control, that's terrifying. You have a ring on your finger with a woman's name you don't know, and an entire year missing. You call the one person you know will come (since your parents and friends are useless) and she comes and tells you a story that jives. You can't remember shit and you keep getting flashes and your hands won't work, so you take what she tells you, because why would you have any reason to doubt? It’s not like you can remember anyway, and trying to remember hurts.

You finally go back home, and you recognize nothing about your own life. Friends, family...everything is different. Your mom is out, your dad is gone, your best friends are married. You don't even live in the same house, you have people working in your company you don’t know--even your dog is gone. And then you have a hysterical woman throwing pictures in your face of a man you don't recognize and your brain is still foggy and all your friends and family seem to be shrugging their shoulders at you.

You're terrified and alone and all you get is some vagueness about an epic love story and too much emotion and all you want to do is hide. From everything. Plus your heart is doing this thing every time the girl is near and you think you might be dying maybe and remember how your brother died?

So, the girl kisses you, you literally feel like you might be dying, and it's like naw. Fuck this. I'm getting back an ounce of control. So you propose to Selin. I mean you don’t love her and you barely want her but at least she is the same. At least she hasn’t changed, and at least she doesn’t stare at you with the weight of a million expectations that everyone else does. At least she doesn’t look at you and hope to see a man you can’t ever remember being.

But then the girl everyone claims is your soulmate is suddenly engaged to another man, and spends every moment after that claiming she hates you, she is over you, she is better off/happier without you, doesn't need you.

So it's like, okay, what is the truth. Your brain isn't helping, your friends aren't helping, she isn't helping. So you lash out, you close off, because really, what else is left. Your life isn’t your life, your mind isn’t your mind, you can’t even figure out what’s real and what isn’t. And she’s getting married and you want to die but she’s getting married and surely if she loved you she wouldn’t be doing this?

And then you get your memories back. Finally. Everything comes flooding back ,and it's a lot. You cope in shitty ways, you don't respond well, etc. You’ve returned from the dead twice, and everything feels just slightly off, but maybe you can make this work. At least you have her. After a few days, you’re feeling like your old self. You've got your memories, your girl, the possibility of the future you had snatched twice, and then BOOM. She rejects you, out of nowhere.

Won't talk, won't communicate, you have no idea what the fuck is happening. She’s crying and sad but also not leaving but also not staying and your brain can’t quite work things out but all you can do is promise that you love her, only her, always her, forever. Surely she must know that by now, right?

And then she tells you about the baby. You can't remember the sex of course, but then you find out it probably happened while your brain was fucked, and you barely have time to process this before oh yeah the love of your life is leaving you bc she would rather you raise a baby with your rapist. And suddenly you might be dying, again.

But you stop her. You stop her and even though she says she didn’t come back for you, why else would she have stayed? So, you finally get her back, she tattoos you on her finger and maybe just maybe everything will be fine when BOOM. Cancer. You aren't even over the other shit, and you have a fucking tumor. You are 30 years old, you've survived a plane crash, amnesia, and now you have a tumor. How many times can a person die?

And so you don’t cope well. You withdraw, you back away. Your brother died when he was young, you know what that does to a person. You know what it did to your family. You have this fear that curls around your heart that says “but what if she becomes my mother.” And she goes. She leaves and she takes your heart and your child (that you don’t even know about) and it’s like...fuck. Again. Because everyone leaves you, eventually. And somehow, it’s always your fault.

So, what I'm saying is, Eda endured a lot, sure. She was hurt. Their breakup in 14 was hard and I’m not denying that (although there is another post I could write about how since Eda never actually uses her words to tell him how she feels he can, perhaps, be understood in assuming that breaking up after barely being together would hurt but also that she would move on and live her life happily without him. Which I guess season 2 proves…) Losing Serkan to an accident/amnesia was hard, looking at the body of the man she loves but not seeing the man she loves must have been agony. But Serkan was fucking wrecked. So instead of choosing to write a plot where they both get to heal, where they both get to explore their pain and work through it together, we get Serkan who reverted to being a robot to cope with massive trauma and PTSD, and essentially is abandoned by everyone, again.

I guess what I'm saying is, if staying with him and supporting him when he was dealing with trauma was too much for her, then fine.That is very true for some people, and it’s certainly realistic. But I don't really think that jives with Eda and her character, and while it isn't a trauma competition, I'd still think Serkan comes out a winner here. Eda lost her parents, which was awful. She lost him, but she got him back. Twice. His trauma is losing his brother, being abandoned by his parents, a plane crash, amnesia, emotional manipulation/abuse and cancer. And then he gets punished by having his daughter taken away from him because he was having a hard time coping. Keeping a kid a secret isn't "protecting the child" it's punishing the father.

Tl;dr The direction they have taken the characters is gross for both mains, but if people are trying to justify Eda keeping his child from him because “he deserves it” or “she did what was best for her” then I think we maybe haven’t been watching the same show. Even if he said “I don’t want kids,” saying that to a hypothetical child is very different then being told “a baby is very much our reality.” Because that's the crux right? It's not that he decided he just didn't want to be a father ever, he's scared of having a family and losing them or of them losing him. And then she made that very fear be realized. Which is tragic and quite the opposite of what his life partner needed to do in that situation.

Bitte.

Thanks to @lolo-deli for the proofread and the final lines, you are the best. And for putting up with my uncontrollable ranting about this for days.