#not to mention the heat is giving me extreme sensory issues

[gaykneecaps]

tw vent

[birdofmay]

Phew, I don’t know if every country would consider me high support needs (we have 5 care levels in my country, not 3. I'm 4 out of 5), but just to give low support needs autistics an idea of what high support needs means, I’ll tell you about my “normal to slightly stressful” days. Remember, these are not my bad days, these are normal days with too much sensory input or when I couldn’t follow some of my routines. On those days I

need constant supervision because I can’t self-monitor myself/don’t realise what I’m doing; I might chew on caustic things for example, and am not aware of dangers. This is the case on good days too btw. (Oh, and I sometimes get lost in my own home 🙈)

am not allowed to cook or heat things up, for the same reason as above - it’s too dangerous

need somebody to wash my hair and brush my teeth, either need them to verbally prompt me in the shower and while getting dressed or if I’m overstimulated they have to dress me, etc.

need them to change my diapers (for a while incontinence pads were enough and I could change them on my own with visual prompts on a good day, but diapers are too complicated)

need them to remind me to go to the toilet because I don’t feel my body signals, and help me on the toilet (especially because of balance issues; I have hand rails, but sometimes that's not enough)

need them to help me going from one room to another (my brain has trouble adjusting to my surroundings, so sometimes my body just freezes in front of the door, really annoying, but I can’t help it 🤷‍♀️)

need them to prompt me sitting down or getting up, for the same reason as above

need somebody to watch me while I’m eating because I easily choke on food and drinks, and in case of aspiration they can do something about it (dysphagia)

have a long bedtime routine because otherwise, even though I take melatonin, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all. I might wake up and feel upset and angry without an obvious reason, and I can’t calm myself down, so I need other people to calm me down then

can only leave the house and/or use public transportation if another person is with me because I would get lost otherwise - that’s also the case on a good day btw, I simply can never be unsupervised 🤷‍♀️

can’t plan ahead or develop strategies for anything at all, that’s also the case on a good day, I just wanted to mention it. Other people have to tell me what things I could do today and let me choose, but I never know what’s more important or better, etc. This is one important thing people pay attention to when they assess the “care level” we have in my country: If the individual can come up with own plans and create/make decisions, or if the individual needs to be presented possible options to choose from. I can only choose (and it takes time), but I can’t come up with anything myself.

am easily overwhelmed in general, but if it’s not one of my best days, I can’t be around/interact with unfamiliar people without needing a familiar person to calm me down. I often read about autistics who managed to go grocery shopping with a close friend/family member and are proud of themselves - I could never do that even on the best day ever. It’s not only the sensory input in the shop, it’s the simple fact that one unfamiliar person approaching me can cause a meltdown if I wasn’t prepared that they will approach me... This isn’t anxiety, it’s my brain acting up and not doing it’s job 🤷‍♀️

.....oh yeah and I can’t speak. Sometimes I can spontaneously say up to 3 words, but when using words it’s mostly something like “No!” or “Hey!”, things like that. I either use sign language or text-to-speech. So this makes communication a little harder 🤷‍♀️

So this is high(er) support needs. If you are mostly independent but then there are days where you can’t leave your bed, can’t take care of yourself, and/or are extremely in pain, you might either be support-flux (good for autistics with chronic pain or other chronic conditions that have sudden flare ups, I think) or may be burnt out because your low support needs haven’t been met over a long period of time. Low support needs only means that you don’t need help with BADLs, it doesn’t mean no support needs. It means that you need support and help in your every day life - but this support just isn’t needed for BADLs.

[starsgivemehp]

Okay! In that case, I think I’m gonna go with Guts for this story. What are some of the things he likes the most? (Food, activities, etc.). Also, do you have any particular picture of where he usually lives? Also, how does he get along with his brother? (Sorry for the spam, I just want to make this good)

rssgiyfgeiuf you’re really gonna write me something? Q,Q bless u fam

Another cut because my god, I don’t shut up lmao

So Guts is, canonically, the horror end of my classic boy Vega! That means that everything that applies to Vega also applies to him. For example:

Vega (and therefore Guts) has voice to color synaesthesia! Different tones of voice that convey certain emotions have different colors. This makes it difficult (but not impossible) to lie to him. For example, joy is often a clear blue, tranquility is cyan, confidence is orange, tiredness is purple, triumph is yellow (and if you see a pattern, you’re right, soul trait colors match up with emotions). Positive emotions tend to be clear and nice, overly-exaggerated emotions (like when a Papyrus is pretending to be confident even though he’s not) are too saturated and bright, and negative emotions are muddy and diluted. This applies to his own voice and anybody else’s voice. He likes blues the best, and he tends to use this ability to comfort people he can tell are faking it or are trying to hide upset. Do note that this overlaps the more voices there are, so while he can handle a little while of being around lots of people, it will overstimulate him soon enough and he’ll really want to cover his non-ears and take a nap to stop the colors everywhere drowning everything else out. Thus, he’s not keen on stuff like amusement parks or big parties or sports fields.

(note that this is a little old and not all-encompassing, so just kinda use what feels right, I think)

Also important to note that Solstice, or Eclipse as he renames himself in Horrortale, is the Papyrus, but he is not Vega/Guts’ brother. He is, in fact, their son. Sol is completely unaware of this fact and thinks they are brothers. See, Vega’s mom is the river person, and her name is Carme (a sans serif font). His father was Roman (or Times New Roman) and he died while Vega was still pretty young, he doesn’t remember the guy at all. Carme has some form of dementia (I’ll be honest, I haven’t done enough research yet to pick) and, while always cheerful and doing her boating duty well, doesn’t often recognize Vega. However, he doesn’t mind much, and he’ll usually sing when he takes the boat, and she’ll sing along. When she does remember, she’ll coddle him gently.

Vega was in love with Gaster, who was a completely unrelated skeleton and the royal scientist. I dunno if they were officially married, but they were living together and had a son, Solstice (Gaster carried). Sol was still a baby when Gaster fell into the core, and everyone but Vega forgot about him. Vega found it difficult to raise a child on his own, and his mother wasn’t that bad mentally yet, so he decided to pretend it was his baby brother and have his mom help him raise the kid. By this point, now that Sol is a functioning adult, Vega could tell him, but he has no idea how to bring it up and explain, so he just keeps the lie since it’s easier. It doesn’t trouble him much. He is, however, worried that he may develop whatever Carme has and his own memory will start to go, and he’ll slip up and call Sol his son.

(shitty sketch is shitty)

In terms of how they get along, before the verse was horror-fied, Vega was endlessly patient with Sol, who has anxiety issues. But Vega also kinda has depression, so they’re a little co-dependent. He eases Sol’s anxiety a lot and Sol picks up the slack and gently bullies him to take care of himself. Sol is not a great cook, but Vega will honestly eat anything, so if Sol asks how it is, he can truthfully say he likes it (even if nobody else would) and everyone is happy. Vega works all the usual Sans jobs underground, and he’s just an all around dad guy. Super soft, super patient (it’s his soul trait), gentle and always smiling even when a little sad. His philosophy about life is basically to savor the little things, because you never know what you have until it’s gone, and the big things aren’t so overwhelming if there are lots of little things.

He’s a big fan of mac n’ cheese, and he likes little cut up hot dog (cat) pieces in it, with little octopus legs. Mac n’ seas. Also he’ll throw in broccoli sometimes to be healthy. He’s also really big on pretty much any other kid-friendly, easy to make food, like peanut butter and jelly, chicken nuggets, stuff like that. He does, ofc, drink ketchup and put it on all his food.

Vega is pretty old, about 500, I’d say, and Sol is almost 400 himself, so they’re among my older muses, but there are ones waaay older. He’s also a shortie, he’s only 4′6″. He tastes like vanilla. He also has a daddy kink (soft, very paternal in bed), and he’s into pillow humping, tentacles, sensory deprivation, and massages, but he’s asexual and his sex drive is relatively low. He rarely wants anything more than once or twice a month, and he hardly has two heats a year.

SO THAT’S ALL VEGA, and when his verse horror-fies and he becomes Guts, a lot of that stays intact, but there are some changes. If you follow canon horrortale, it’s fairly similar in terms of what happened to him, but reactions are a little different because he’s so soff. He did basically get backstabbed by Alphys and Undyne, who thought his magic was special enough to revive the core, and thus Undyne broke his head open. The difference is, none of it worked in the first place, and he didn’t get revenge on anyone, he just quietly went back home and stewed and tried his best to help his neighbors by hunting humans. He refused to eat human, though, so he was starving for years on end, to the point where he started to drool tar. He did 100% feed it to Sol without Sol being aware of it, to keep him alive and semi-healthy. When he hunts humans, he’s extremely regretful about it. He tricks them with creepy grins and quick movements, and he doesn’t hesitate when he brings the axe down, but usually, as he’s bringing it down, his smile will fade and he’ll give his best ‘I’m sorry’ look to them, because he really does feel fucking awful about it.

Eclipse is a pretty typical horror Pap, cheerful and cool with eating humans but still trying to be a good person. I don’t do the whole “Pap can’t hear shit and mistakes words” song and dance because it kinda irritates me, personally, and besides, as I mentioned in the last post, Guts barely talks anyway. He has gotten a little better at cooking, and while he’s frustrated with Guts refusing to eat human, he will obey Guts’ wishes and not feed him any.

Guts is EXTREMELY frustrated about his communication issues often, because he stalls out on signing, and when he tries to write, he has trouble scratching out the full shapes of letters and his handwriting is atrocious and he’s completely disgusted with it. While he can use words at times, he’s unhappy with his coloring (because it’s usually muddy purplish/tired or red/irritable these days). The best workaround he discovers, with help, is to communicate solely in emoji and punctuation. He’ll use emojis like the :pray: emoji for please, the :slight smile: for thank you, and the :face with bandage: to refer to himself in third person. The emojis work for his brain because he doesn’t process them as “language” with a grammatical structure, but merely pictures that can help him express his emotions.

Guts is far more tired than Vega, and while he does still somewhat have an urge to dad people, he’s been through so much trauma and difficulty that he’s a lot more needy and crumbles easily when someone else parents him instead of the other way around. He loves being picked up and snuggled and pet and loved on, and he naps when he’s safe and purrs when he’s doted on. He knows he’s cute and he owns it, tbh.

He struggles with eating, sometimes. I mentioned that whatever he’s eating has to include meat, but sometimes, he’ll get all up in his head about it if it’s human, and he’ll leak the tar more trying to hold himself back. Times like that, he needs reassurance of what the food is and that it’s okay to eat, pretty much constantly, while he stuffs his face before he can think about it too hard.

He is homeless when they reach the surface, because he finds it extremely difficult to find a job without talking. He usually begs on street corners with a sign or stays at a homeless shelter, not keeping much stuff. A few books, a picture of his bro, some clothes, that’s about it. He hides his situation from Eclipse a lot, because Eclipse went right off to culinary school and fuck if Guts will make him come back and sacrifice his dreams to take care of his invalid brother/father (and honestly part of that is just me not liking playing classic Papyrus much lmao).

In terms of activities/hobbies, he does kinda still like cooking simple foods, but he doesn’t often get the chance. He’s always fond of napping, and he likes listening to calmer kinds of music. Some alt rock, some instrumental, some ballads. He likes to feed birds at the park sometimes, because he hangs out there. He doesn’t really do much else.

Sexually, despite still being asexual, he’s more open to having sex more often, probably in part because he went a very, very long time without any and he kinda missed it. He’s still lazy in bed, having mostly the same kinks but subbing more. Also, he doesn’t automatically get turned on by eating (like Arum), but if his partner rubs him off while feeding him by hand, he’s pretty into it. Overall he is an overtired dad who is really, really thankful when someone finally says “hey, you’ve been the dad enough, let me baby you.”

This got way longer than expected, but I’m always happy to ramble, and if you need more info, just lemme know!

I leave you with this meme:

[dwarrowdams]

Soothe

At the request of @aeriamamaduck: Fenris is sick (and grumpy), but Eden takes care of him anyways.  Featuring Ezra Hawke (Eden’s twin) and his sometimes-successful home remedies.

Eden woke up to a blast of cold air.

She shivered and reached out for the covers only to find them pulled to the other side of the bed.

“Fenris?” she murmured as she lifted herself off the pillow.  “You’ve taken all the covers.”

A low groan came from the cocoon of blankets beside her.  Eden furrowed her brow as she nudged down the blankets, trying to see just where the blankets ended and Fenris began.  “Are you all right?” she asked.

“No,” he said.  “I feel terrible.”

“Aww,” Eden said as she pulled the covers away from Fenris’saeri face.  “What’s wrong?”

Fenris sneezed.  “Cold,” he muttered.  “The sickness and the feeling.”

“Just wait here, love,” Eden said before leaning over to kiss him on the forehead.  “I’ll get you something to make you feel better.”

“Don’t bother,” he said.  “I’m sure I just need some rest.”

“Of course you need rest,” Eden said as she got out of bed and wrapped her robe around her.  “But you also need something to help you feel better.”

Fenris sat up and slowly turned towards her.  “Hawke, just forget it,” he replied.  “I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and do nothing.”

She heard Fenris groan as she left the room and hurried downstairs and smiled to herself.  Despite his protests, she knew that Fenris would benefit from someone taking care of him today.

“Morning, E,” Ezra said as Eden entered the kitchen.

“Good morning yourself,” Eden said.  “Do you have anything that might help with a cold?”

“Feeling under the weather?”

“No—it’s Fenris,” she said.  “Do you mind if I take the day off?  I want to make sure he actually rests up.”

Ezra arched an eyebrow at her.  “Do I mind?” he asked.  “Eden, I’ve been telling you to take a break for weeks now.”

Eden had a vague memory of Ezra telling her to take a day off, but it was a comment that she’d pushed aside in favor of the more important things she had to do.  “And now you finally get your wish,” she said.

“If I knew that Fenris getting sick would get you to finally rest, I would’ve told him to fake a cold ages ago.”

“Fortunately for you, he has a real one,” Eden said drily.  “Do we have anything that could help with that?”

“Hmm,” Ezra mused as he opened the cupboards.  “I have a few things that might work—give me a minute.”

Ezra had always had an interest in medicine. Since Bethany had been taken to the Circle, he had learned how to treat common and non-serious ailments: a relief, since he and Eden had enough chronic conditions between them to make any healer sigh in exasperation.  His cough syrup and calming tea had helped Eden through more than one rough spot over the past several years and even though Anders’s clinic wasn’t far away, she was glad to have a healer at home again.  Besides, going to Darktown on the cusp of an anxiety attack wasn’t a sustainable idea.

“Ah, here we go,” he said.  He took a bottle from one of the cabinets and handed it to her.  “Heat some water and add a few spoonfuls,” he said.  “Add some honey for good measure—it’s pretty disgusting, but it’ll help his throat and his nose and give his immune system a gentle kick in the ass.  Give him more in the afternoon if he still feels shitty.”

“You’re the best,” Eden said as she wrapped her brother in a one-armed hug.  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

“Just take care of Fenris and enjoy your time off,” Ezra replied.  “That’s more than enough.”

“Thank you,” Eden said, setting the bottle down on the counter before reaching for the kettle.  “I suppose you’re going to see Sebastian first?” she asked.

“Naturally,” Ezra replied.  “He lives closest.  It wouldn’t make sense to head down to Lowtown only to come all the way back to get him.”

“Of course,” Eden said as she filled the kettle with water.  “And this has nothing to do with the two of you getting to spend some time alone together, right?”

Ezra flushed.  “That’s certainly an upside of it,” he admitted.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be just as excited for that time alone as you are,” Eden said.  “I know you want to give him time, but with the way he’s been looking at you, I doubt he’ll need much more of it.”

“I hope you’re right, E,” Ezra replied.  “I just hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

“If you do, there’s no one better to do it in front of,” Eden said.  “It might be a little awkward at first, but he won’t ever tease you about it.”

“Is this about the time you answered the door in a bedsheet and it was Sebastian instead of me or Amaryllis?”

Eden flushed.  “It might be,” she said.  “At least he didn’t mention it to anyone else.  I’m not sure Varric would’ve ever let me hear the end of it, but Sebastian hasn’t breathed a word.”

“True,” Ezra said.  “Speaking of attire, should I change my shirt?  I think I wore this one the last time I saw Sebastian.”

“Ezra, please tell me you’re not about to go out fighting in nothing but this,” she said, gently tugging at the sleeve of his thin shirt.

“Ah fuck, that’s right—stabbing is a thing that could happen,” he muttered.  “He’ll see the sleeves, though, and he might know it’s the same one.”

Eden sighed.  Her brother was overanalyzing the situation, but she knew better than to talk him out of changing his shirt.  If that was what he needed to feel a little less nervous, then so be it.  “Wear a blue one,” she said.  “It brings out your eyes.”

“Perfect,” Ezra said, already removing his shirt as he ran upstairs.  “Thanks, E!”

Eden shook her head and smiled as she took a mug out of the cupboard.  Her brother might be the more organized and rational of the two of them, but having a crush always made him a little frazzled.  She could only hope that today would ease his anxiety around Sebastian instead of increasing it.

~~

A while later, Eden carried the diluted medicine into hers and Fenris’s room.

Fenris’s brow furrowed as she entered.  “You’re staying home today?” he asked.

Eden nodded.  “Ezra’s handling things,” she said as she sat beside him on the bed, cradling the mug between her hands.  “Now drink this.”

Fenris peered suspiciously at the mug.  “What is it?”

“Medicine,” she said.  “It might not taste good, but it’ll help.”

Fenris took the cup from her and sipped cautiously at the beverage.  As soon as it passed his lips, he shoved the mug back into Eden’s hands.

“Hawke,” he said, “that is disgusting.”

“You don’t have to drink it all at once,” Eden said.  “Just take it a little at a time and it won’t be so bad.”

“Did your brother tell you what he put in it?” Fenris asked.

Eden shook her head.  

“Taste it,” Fenris said.  “I’m not going to drink any more until you know what you just made me put in my mouth.”

Eden took a sip, expecting a bit of unpleasantness, but she was not prepared for the acidic sourness that assaulted her mouth.  “Oh sweet Maker,” she sighed once she’d recovered from the taste.  “He must’ve used apple cider vinegar as the base.  It is good for you, but it tastes awful.”

“Perhaps because it’s so disgusting that it makes everything less disgusting by comparison.”

Eden smiled.  “You’re supposed to dilute it a lot,” she said.  “The taste doesn’t bother Ezra, so he must’ve gotten the amounts wrong.”

“How does it not bother him?”

“Sensory issues,” Eden said.  “Believe me, you’re not the one who’s been unpleasantly surprised like this.  Just think of it as initiation into the family.”

“I’d prefer something less painful,” Fenris replied.

“I don’t blame you,” she said, leaning forward to kiss Fenris on the forehead.  “I’ll try adding this to some tea.  Hopefully then it won’t taste quite so bad.”

Fenris chuckled darkly.  “If it does, I’ll just stay sick.”

~~

Half an hour later, Fenris had finished the drink and was swaddled under no fewer than six blankets.  He’d initially protested, but Eden had felt how cold his extremities were and immediately dragged three more blankets out of the linen closet.  He was sending halfhearted glares in her direction every so often, but Eden hadn’t heard him complain about being cold.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked.

“Yes.  For you to stop asking me that.”

“Anything besides that,” she said.  “And don’t tell me to go away either.  You’re stuck with me for the day.”

A smile flicked across Fenris’s face.  “Shame.”

“I know,” Eden replied, sighing in mock exasperation.  “How terrible.”

Fenris chuckled.  “I can think of worse punishments.”

Eden arched an eyebrow.  “Like what?”

Before Fenris could answer, Ezra strode through the door, clad in the blue shirt that Eden had suggested.

“Like him,” Fenris said.

“What?” Ezra asked as he spread his arms in surrender.  “What did I do?”

“Apple cider vinegar,” Fenris spat.

Ezra’s brow furrowed for a moment before his face lit up with realization.  “Ah fuck, I didn’t tell Eden to dilute it enough.”

“Yes, we figured that out,” Eden said drily.  “I fixed it, though—or at least I managed to give Fenris something drinkable.”

“Good,” Ezra said.  “Try giving him two more doses—that should do the trick.”

Eden nodded.  “Anything else that could help?”

“Ah, I nearly forgot,” Ezra said, turning his attention to Fenris as he placed a small tin on the nightstand.  “I have some salve for you too—not for your cold, but for your pain.  I’ve been working on it for a while now, but I think I’ve finally got it right.  Let me know if it works and if it doesn’t, I’ll try tweaking it.”

Fenris picked up the tin, rolling it between his hands before tossing it back onto the nightstand with a sigh.  “Now you’re both fussing over me,” he muttered.

Ezra chuckled.  “You signed up for it when you moved in with us,” he said.  “We’re good at taking care of people, even when those people act like they don’t need help.”

“I don’t,” insisted Fenris.

“I know,” Ezra replied.  “But it’s easier to have someone help you than to struggle along by yourself.”

Fenris’s mouth quirked up into a brief smile.  “Thank you, Hawke,” he said.  “You didn’t need to go to all this trouble.”

Ezra waved away the comment.  “It was nothing—just something I’ve been working on here or there.”

“Ezra,” Eden chided, “you’ve been working on that salve for months.”

“Only because I had to wait until I was sore to test it.”

“Don’t believe him,” she murmured to Fenris.  “I know exactly how much time he spent on this.”

“Well, thank you for tarnishing that image of me as a medical genius,” Ezra teased.  “I’d better be going now before you make me look any worse.”

“Be safe,” she said as she pulled him into an embrace.

“Of course,” he replied, giving Eden a final squeeze before he headed for the door.  “See you later, E.”

Eden waved to him one last time before shutting the door and sitting down on the bed beside Fenris.  “So, should we try out the salve?”

“I’m honestly not sure,” Fenris said as he eyed the tin.  “At least I don’t have to worry about the taste, but after that...I don’t exactly have full confidence in your brother’s medical skills.”

“You know,” Eden said, “I don’t blame you.”

[scripttorture]

Would treating a prisoner like an animal (limiting clothing, making them wear a collar, sleep in a cage, eat bland food out of bowls on the floor, and crawl everywhere) have any long term physical affects on the prisoner? Or could it be done purely as humiliation so long as the captors are being careful not to physically harm the person? If it would cause harm, would you qualify it as visible or clean torture?

Yesthis would cause someone harm.

However-there’s a huge amount of difference in what ‘like an animal’can imply.

Let’s…take dogs because Westerners seem to like them a lot. It’s notuncommon for me to hear about people treating their dogs like kidshere. An older couple I know has a Labrador and it’s hardly everleft alone, lavished with attention and toys. They never hit it orraise their voices and it’s remarkably friendly well trainedanimal.

Icontrast this to some of the dogs I saw growing up at home. It wasextremely common for animals to be hit and they were often mistreatedin other ways. There was huskey kept in a compound near us. A huge,furry, arctic creature that needed to be walked at 4-5am because theheat easily reached 30-45oCduring the day. There was a ‘puppy’ that a family friend found onthe streets. It wasn’t fully grown and was bigger than me, evenwhen starving. It’s ears had been clipped to erect points. It hadlikely been breed to attack humans.

WhatI’m getting at here is that there’s a good chance ‘like ananimal’ means lessharm to you then it does to me. And thank you for giving me someexamples of what you want it to mean, that’s very helpful.

There’sa bit of debate about what counts as ‘physical’ injury in thiscontext.

Thesymptoms torture causes are a result of measurable physical changesin the brain. I tend to talk about this as psychological damagebecause I think that’s the terms most writers and people wouldunderstand it most easily. Butit’s causedby physical injury.

Infact O’Mara describes it as a form of organ failure. And this is aguy who specialises in neuroscience. Which I feel gives a lot ofweight to that description.

WhatI’m driving at here is that you could argue, based on soundscientific study and the opinion of experts, that any tortureincluding ‘humiliation’ causes profound physical injury.

It’sjust not the kind of injury we (the general public) are used totreating as physical injury.

Buthow visible and obvious the damage would be probably depends on howlong this goes on for.

Continuallycrawling would cause joint injuries and repetitive strain injuries.If it went on for long enough it could effect the structure ofskeletal muscles and make it difficult for the character to walkupright. It could even effect the shape of the bone.

AndI think a lot of the injuries from this scenario would be a bit likethat: obvious due to expression and movement rather than obvious inthe sense of visible scarring.

Itwouldn’t necessarily be obvious what the causeof these differences was.

Soa character seeing a survivor that had been kept like this forseveral years would probably see something was ‘wrong’. They’dsee a character who struggles to stand, struggles to walk. They mightnotice behaviours to do with sensory issues- the survivor mightfidget a lot, pick at clothes, they might layer on a lot of clothes(to compensate for feelings of cold or physical discomfort). Theywould probably appear physically unhealthy, malnourished, pale andill. There might be small injuries, bruising, sores and patches ofirritated skin.

Dependingon the observer they might read those signs as symptoms of physicalillness or mental health problems, or poverty ratherthen systematic abuse. Or they might just not notice, especially if asurvivor is trying to conceal their impairments. For example if thesurvivor knows they can’t stand upright and walk unaided they mightchoose to remain seated through the entire interaction.

Youcould argue that that is a clean torture. The injuries are notvisibly obvious. They’re not injuries that the average person onthe street would see and think ‘that’s torture, no argument’.

Youcould also argue it’s a scarring torture. Because the injuries arethe sort of things that courts see as ‘provable’. They’re alsoinjuries that are unlikely to be caused in combination by anythingotherthen abuse.

I’llcontrast that with some things that are definitely clean tortures togive you an idea what I mean. The swelling and sores stress positionsoften cause can alsobe caused by disease, malnourishment and inactivity. Proving in courtthose injuries are from torture means ruling out every other possiblecause. And the obvious signs of starvation can be treated similarly:extreme weight loss can be due to disease and stress.

Atorture survivor can be seen to be chronically malnourished anddangerously underweight butthat still isn’t necessarily court-quality ‘proof’ they weredeliberately starved. Because it could be due to so many othercauses.

Ithink it would be a good idea to cycle back to the first question nowbecause I haven’t quite covered all the possible injuries this kindof abuse could cause.

Limitingclothing can easily become a temperature torture and lead tohypothermia. Especially in a cold climate or if the victim is wet forany reason.

Constantlywearing a collar can increase the risk of strangulation. If thecharacter isn’t usually restrained using the collar then I thinkthe likelihood of death is pretty low. But it’s there and it’sworth mentioning. If they’re restrained using the collar, ie aleash connected above their head, then there’s a pretty high riskof accident strangulation and death.

There’sa reason that people using collars and leashes in a BDSM contextusually don’t leave restrained partners alone.

Cages,like crawling, can have serious long term effects on a person’sability to move normally. Ifthey’re too small.

Picturewhat you had in mind. If the character can’t lie flat, stretch outtheir limbs and stand up straight then it’s probably too small. Ifthey’re lying down inside with their legs and arms bent at alltimes that’s going to combine with the crawling to effect theirmovement and muscles in the long term.

Ithinkthis damage isn’t permanent (I’m not a doctor, double check bylooking up repetitive strain injuries). I believe it can be treatedwith physiotherapy and gradual recovery of full mobility would bepossible.

Thecombination of limited clothing (with the possible temperaturetorture that means), the cage and crawling means that I think longterm joint problems and chronic pain in the joints would be prettylikely here.

Thelack of clothing combined with the cage could also lead to sleepdeprivation which can cause a lot of long term problems. Youcan read about it here.

Thefood couldresult in undernourishment but wouldn’t necessarily do so.

Whenpresented with bland and unappealing food- well people can startstarving themselves. Whichis also incredibly bad for people.

Thiscombination of tortures isn’t necessarily lethal. It can be,especially over a period of years, but if the captors are trying tokeep the victim alive then I think that would be possible with littleeffort.

Butthey would cause a lot of long term problems, physical as well aspsychological. Sleep deprivation (a possible effect here) can causeheart problems in the long term. Long term starvation, even at a lowlevel, can cause problems with the immune system making disease andinfection more likely.

Ithink joint pain would still be pretty likely if a character was keptlike this for a month. Over the same period consistently poor sleepincreases the likelihood of a huge range of health problems.

I’dalso suggest thinking about the hygiene facilities in your set up.Because the less provision for that there is the more likely deathfrom disease is going to be; it’s the combination of poor sleep andpoor eating both suppressing the immune system while the character isexposed to pathogens.

Soif you’re picturing this as something the character is trapped infor a prolonged period think of a way to deal with waste.

Ihope that helps. :)

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[domitxnate]

Presentation 4

Who: Nathan Lynn and Katelyn Hummel @katelynhummel

What/When: Presentation, 08/01/2017

Notes: Light bondage, sensory play, pushed several of Katelyn’s boundaries

Nate felt the practice session with Katelyn went really well and he felt confident as they walked into the room. He gave Katelyn a soft look, taking a deep breath in hopes she would follow suit. He ordered her to strip, allowing her only her panties to remain on her body as Nate rambled off her list of limits and that they would be pushing the need for trust in the scene by using a blind fold and ropes. He also explained to the Head’s that Katelyn would be pushing her nudity boundary and that this scene would not be sexual due to her sexuality, which even this would be pushing slightly. He even made a point to mention that he and Katelyn did not get off to the best start, so the trust wasn't there automatically with them and this was going to take a lot of trust for Katelyn to have in him. Once he explained everything needed, he looked over at Katelyn, making sure she was ready. "Lay on the bench on your back, darlin'. Out stretch your arms above you and spread your legs," he said, setting work to bind her ankles and wrists.

Kate still wasn't fully certain about doing this presentation with Nate of all people, but their practice session had helped her to relax some and to get used to submitting to this Dominant in particular. She pulled in a deep breath to center herself before she removed her dress, bra, and sandals. She was extremely grateful for the ability to keep her panties on, the field trip a few weeks back all too fresh in her memory. "Yes, Sir," she said when he gave her another instruction, having listened carefully to what he'd had to say to the heads. She stepped over to the bench and lay down, moving into the position he'd described and allowing him to tie her down.

Nate looked Kate over, once she was settled and bound, "How ya feelin'?" he asked, grabbing the blindfold from his back pocket. "Lift ya head," he ordered and tied the blindfold around her eyes, securing it before laying her head back down. He started slow, grabbing a feather and moving towards her, first putting his hand on her arm. "Just like we practiced," he said simply, "you'll feel me first and then you'll feel the instrument," he said, starting the feather at her shoulder and running it over her collar bone.

Kate tested the bindings lightly before giving Nate a slight nod. "Green, Sir," she said as she picked her head up to allow him to tie the fabric around her head. She felt incredibly exposed like this, but she knew that he wasn't going to do anything she was uncomfortable with and would listen if she safe worded. His touch made her muscles tense for a moment, but she gave him another small nod as she relaxed. "Yes, Sir," she said. She was surprised to find herself smiling a little a moment later when the soft feather brushed over her skin.

Nate continued with the brush around Kate's shoulders and collarbone, lightly going back and forth. "Figure out what it is yet?" he asked lightly, rolling it down the very side of her breast, all the way down to her hip before crossing it over her stomach and going back up the other side.

Kate let out a soft moan at the gentle touch as Nate dragged it along her torso. "I believe it's a feather, Sir," she said, not sure there was anything else that could possibly feel that light against her skin.

Nate smirked softly, "good girl," he murmured in a soft tone. After he was done with the feather he grabbed 4 small marbles and placed them on her stomach, but not before putting his hand on her abs first. "Keep your abs tight," he said, placing his hand over the marbles and rolling them over her stomach. "What's your guess, darlin'?"

Kate breathed a sigh of relief when Nate lifted the feather from her skin. One item down and... who knew how many to go. She knew something else was coming soon when she felt his hand again, and she tightened her abdomen like requested. This object felt weird, and not like anything they'd tried before. "I don't know, Sir," she said slowly, trying to figure it out. "A toy car? Or... oh! Are they marbles, Sir?"

Nate continued to roll them around her soft skin as she thought, adding a little pressure in hopes that it would give more of an idea as to what they are. "Good girl," he said as she guessed the object. He decided to use a new item, one that wasn't practiced and he just hoped and prayed it didn't freak her out. His hand touched her leg, "How ya doin', darlin?" he asked and once he heard the answer, he ran a sheet of sand paper down her leg.

Kate licked her lips during the pause between objects. She found herself enjoying Nate's praise, which definitely took her off guard, but she was ready for more. "I'm good, Sir," she said. "Green." It wasn't long before he was pressing the next object against her skin, and she sucked in a sharp breath when she realized it was a little painful--not too much, but definitely enough for her to notice. It almost felt like something designed for exfoliation, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Nate smirked again, "Good. Keep me updated if it changes." He continued to lightly drag the sandpaper down her leg and once he was at the ankle he lifted it, and placed it back on her thigh to run it back down again. When she hadn't guessed yet, he added a little pressure as he slid it down her leg. "C'mon darlin', i need a guess."

Kate nodded. "Yes, Sir," she told him. She took a deep breath and gave him her full attention, trying hard to figure out what this new object was. The roughness against her leg increased, and she winced a little as Nate rubbed it against her thigh. "Is it sandpaper, Sir?" she asked uncertainly.

Nate hummed as Katelyn guessed correctly and lifted the sandpaper from her skin. "Two more, darlin'," he said simply, grabbing the metal sensory wheel. His hand touched her thigh before running the wheel up it. It wasn't a sharp pain, but the pokes of the wheel were obvious against her flesh as he varied his speeds from slow to quick up and down both thighs.

Kate pulled in a deep breath when she'd somehow managed to get that one right and Nate pulled it away from her skin. "Yes, Sir," she said, preparing herself for whatever was coming next. As soon as the metal toy was pressed against her skin, she knew what it was, from their practice. "That's the... metallic wheel, Sir, isn't it?"

Nate nodded again, "mmhmm and do you remember what it's called?" he asked, rolling it up her thigh and across her hip before running it across her pelvis, right at the hem of her panties, pushing just a little harder over her flesh.

Kate 's breathing started to grow more rapid when he didn't pull the wheel away immediately. She trusted him not to press it over her panties, but it was still getting uncomfortably close. "I don't-- a Waterford wheel, Sir?" she asked. "Something like that?"

Nate lifted the wheel off of Katelyn and started to grab the last things he needed - three warm stones - "There ya go, darlin'. Or a sensory wheel. Alright, now here's the last ones," he said, placing his hand on her chest between her breasts. "Ready?" he asked and once he hand the okay, he placed one where his hand was, one on her sternum and one at her pelvis.

Kate couldn't believe they were already almost at the end of the presentation, and she gave him another "Yes, Sir." She did her best to stay calm as he placed three more objects against her body. Whatever they were, they were warm, and that actually felt somewhat nice considering her state of undress. "I have no idea what those are, Sir," she said. "Something warm."

Nate murmured as he watched over Kate's body, putting slight pressure over the stones to rub them into her skin. He rolled them in place, something of a massage into her skin. "Yea, they are warm. Are they soft or hard? Smooth or rough?" he guided, trying to help her guess.

Kate moaned softly at how good it felt to have Nate press the warm items into her skin. She still didn't know what they were, but she liked them, whatever they were. "Hard, Sir, and smooth," she answered slowly. Almost like some kind of... "Rocks?" she asked, wondering why they were warm, if that's what they were.

Nate "Good girl," Nate said, continuing to massage one of the stones along her collar bone and shoulder, "They're heated stones. Such a good girl." He gave it a minute before taking the stones off her flesh. "There we go, all done, darlin'," he said softly, slowly taking the blindfold off and giving Kate a moment to adjust her eyes before moving to the binds and undoing them, helping her off the table. "How ya doin', sweetheart?"

Kate smiled softly at the praise and was surprised to have her eyesight returned to her, even though she knew that had been the last item for the scene. It felt good to have movement of her limbs back, too, and she turned her slight smile on him as she got up. "I'm... good, Sir," she said, crossing her arms over her chest as she stood there in front of the heads. "May I get dressed again yet, Sir?"

Nate looked her over once she was standing making sure there were no issues he could take care of. "Yea, dear, ya may dress again." Nate cleaned up his area and once Katelyn was redressed he thanked the heads for their time and explained he would take Katelyn back to his room for aftercare.

[intelligentautisticmedia-blog]

Autistic Community Manifesto Part 1: Us Autistics Chapter 1: Autistic Brotherhood by Charles McIntyre

Prelude: 

Greetings fellow Autistics, I am Charles McIntyre, I am 26 and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Autism) when I was 4. My greatest strengths are Hyper Empathy, being analytical, seeing details and patterns others miss and word-smithing.

My greatest struggles are connecting with people, executive dysfunction, SPD, CAPD. I officially formed the group Call "Intelligent Autistic Media" in April 2017. Our mission statement is to spread 1. Autistic Pride 2.) Encourage and instruct Autistic Self Advocacy 3.) Defeat Anti-Autistic stigma and myths, 4.) Encourage and instruct NT Ally ship 5.) Improve the lives of Autistics and their families as much as possible.

               I run this Facebook Group has at this about 380 members and we have been active for almost a year. We are an okay group, but I have not been as a successful leader as would like to be. I believe this to be because I my struggles with struggles with executive dysfunction and my inability to connect to people in an effective and consistently. In short, I am more a creative, ambitious visionary, than a leader and organizer.

So, I decided to write this sort of "Manifesto of Campaigns" as way to offer up a list of campaigns and initiatives I believe could elevate the status of the Autistic Community and solve some of our problems. It is hope that this manifesto will inspire various members of the community to time, resources, and talents to execute the fore mentioned project and initiatives. I feel like success hinges on ability to organize and mobilize. With our collaboration and unity can we ever hope to overcome NT supremacy. I am not sure if everybody will agree to all my ideas, but I am throwing them out there regardless. If you do find ideas appealing, please contact me. I hope to set up some collaborations.  If you have any constructive criticisms, please elaborate. If you don’t have anything of meaning to add please ignore and scroll pass.

 Part 1: Us Autistic Chapter 1: Autistic Brotherhood 

Now, as were particularly diverse demographic of exceedingly unique individuals, unification is of   course easier said than done.  I would propose constitution or a share list of demands. As often have embracive personalities and none of us like to walk on eggshells we try to be patient with each other as much as we and agree to interact with a shared written code of ethics or social guidelines

Here is an example of such a code: 1.) If you are not of groups demographic stay in your lane. Ie don't talk about something that you don't understand. 2.) If you post something covers anything that may cause someone a panic attack or extreme discomfort; ie Sexual assault, violence, bigotry ect... ad a Trigger warning. 3.) If you post anything that has possible uncomfortable subject matter or contents; ie swearing, sex, sensory issues ect ad a content warning. 4.) Do not use sarcasm or hyperbole or otherwise confusing language.  5.) While in debate or disagreement do not assume hostility unless it is blatant. You maybe projecting or overthinking. Try asking the other person to clarify.  6.) Try to stay on topic with the post while commenting. 7.) If you see a post or comment that upsets you or that you disagree with scroll past it unless you deem it necessary.  8.) When engaging in a debate be polite and avoid using vulgar language or name calling.  9.) Walk away from an argument if it gets to heated. 10.) If someone does not want to argue, don't drag them back into thread by tagging them. This is harassment. 11.) Do not play mind games or gaslight. This is harassment. 12.) Conversing with multiple people use tags to distinguish to whom you speak.

  First and foremost, though, we must spread Autistic Pride and self-love. I did not want to admit to having any connection to my fellow Autistics until I was able to accept my own Autism. Even now sometimes I get discouraged and wish I was different. I think Autistic self-defecation should thought as virus that we must try to remedy as soon as possible lest it spread through toxic interaction. This does not we shove pride down are fellow Autistics’ throats, but we must always strive to encourage and uplifting whenever possible.  This again would require us to mutually patient with each other.

One idea I have for unification is reject any ideas that we can be or should be Neuro-typical. We shall not try to be what are not. In do this we should reject Neuro-typical social customs viewpoints. We should instead develop our own Autistic social customs and viewpoints. Thus, establishing Autistic social culture.

 As we all know functioning labels divide, silence and stigmatize people across the autistic community. The simplest fly, generalize, and stereotype the experiences of all autistic people. We must never let the neuro- typicals force them on us nor any other autistic. At the same time however, we must be sensitive to the two different ways autistic people struggle. We must never imagine that our experience with autism the same as anyone else’s experience with lot. To demonstrate this point, I’m going to exemplify to members of the autistic community with very different forms of autism without relying on functioning labels.

               Many of us know of John Elder Robinson. He is the author of such books as “look me in the eye”, “be different” and others. In both books, he talks about his struggles and talents. Some of his struggles include sensory processing disorder, social ineptness, aversion to eye contact and possibly executive dysfunction. There is natural engineering talents and creativity, he was able to leave home, find employment, incomplete independence, at age 16. (He also grew up in a different time).

 This contrasts with the experiences of Carly Fleishman. Carly, who is a brilliant young woman, is a brilliant writer, and has developed quite the charming TV personality has struggles and talents very different to Mr. Robinson. In the memoir she wrote with her father Arthur Fleischman; “Finding Carly’s Voice” Carly is described as being nonverbal, having episodes of intense sensory overload, as well as experiencing more extreme meltdowns and coping with more prominent stemming. Throughout her early in adolescent years Carly has been sent to live in a variety of institutions designed for people with her type of autism. Before she learned to effectively type, or diagnosis also included intellectual impairment. She has recently been nominated for a reward called a “Shorty”, but I am uncertain if she has managed to live independent yet.

Essentially what I’m saying is, we must give recognition to struggles and talents of the Carly Fleishman’s, the John Elder Robinson’s, the Naoki  Higashida’s, Stephen Wiltshire’s and everyone else in between in the autistic spectrum. It might be most convenient, we mapped out different types of autistic. This way be as crude was insensitive as functioning labels but would be more like 16 personality types. It would provide some symbolic shorthand to understand the person struggle and strength, without knowing everything about that person.

                 If we do not commit ourselves to encouraging self-advocacy and union ship in cooperation with people throughout different autism types, if we say, “oh yes, I am autistic, but I don’t want to be associated with these autistics, because I’m not freak like them,” then we are not really better than those neuro- typical bigots alienate, and discriminate against us. We autistics are also all we have. We must be inclusive as possible to maximize our numbers. If we cannot be inclusive to towards our own people how can we expect neuro- typicals to be inclusive towards us?

                 Once we have figured out way to bring empowerment, self-love and pride to people across the spectrum must also remember to be intersectional. Intersectional means that while we focus on autistic issues, make ourselves aware that people with identities other than autistic marginalized in different ways and therefore may have different struggles. To illustrate example, I once got accosted with a police officer because he suspected me of smoking cannabis at a town dance. The truth is my eyes were red because I was crying. I couldn’t look him in the eye, because I am in fact autistic and my ability to look people in the eye diminishes as I get more nervous. He thought I was lying in my have arrested me of his partner had pulled him away as he pulled away he shouted, “if you’re lying to me 10 times worse!” Now this was not my only encounter with police. Not my only misunderstanding. It is very common for autistic people to have some dealings police either as a victim or as a suspect. As we are autistic, it can be difficult to be out how to figure these situations and police sir severely under trained to understand or accommodate autistic people. While this incident was fortunate, I will tell you, that would ruin been worse if I were Black. Police tend to unjustly patrol black neighborhoods more and act more hostile towards people of color. If I had been black is much more possible that I would have been arrested and/or beaten by the police. Being intersectional means that we are sensitive to such issues of extra vulnerability to autistics who have extra vulnerability due to belonging to another marginalized demographic.

                 Being intersectional means that as leaders we do not let the members of our community indulge in any form of bigotry. Mustn’t allow any; racism, six them/misogyny, homophobia, trans-phobia, ablism, Islam phobia, anti-Semitism, classism or any other form of bigotry. (If we criticize any creed or religion we must be careful not to act discriminatory against all the members of that said creed or religion. For example: is perfectly fine to criticize Christianity and other religions for things that homophobia, trans-phobia, misogyny, racism and ablism Etc. but we cannot take this out on a random Christian. We should be accepting of people of differing creed identities under the condition that they are accepting of people different identities as well. Again, if we are not willing to be accepting of people from demographics that are different from us, if we indulge ourselves in bigotry, we are no different than those neuro- typical bigots that alienate discriminate against us.

                 Once we formed an all-inclusive and all accepting that all intersectional, autistic community we must strengthen it. We need people to feel pride. To do this we must remind people that autism is a pervasive condition meeting affects every aspect of a person. This means that while your struggles are because autism strengths and talents and expertise is also thanks to autism. We must also remind those autistics who have not found self-acceptance, of those autistics across the spectrum are found major success. Again, self-pride is necessary to push one’s self forward on a tough road ahead.

It will also be important for autistics to be experts in autism. We must do this to best understand ourselves and spread awareness to others. Also, I want us all to be old to really drive it home to those neuro- typicals who believe they understand autism better in anyone else that we are the ultimate experts. And we understand autism in ways that no one else can possibly can.

 One of the most important things for everyone in the autistic community to know how to do is self-allocate. I will go over this in more detail in a future chapter. It should go without saying that is a tool that carves our path to self-empowerment and control of our own destiny. Self-efficacy is something that autistic children should learn from an early age. We must never allow members of her community to be apologetic for being autistic.

One interesting person has memorized the basics of self-advocacy, they are ready to graduate to social political activism for the entire autistic community. I will also go into more detail on such ideas in a later chapter. Basically, we must make sure people the autistic community are aware of the political and activism tools out their disposal. We must help make sure members over community are aware of how they are being marginalized and how their community the daily subject of social political discussion whether they like to acknowledge it or not. A shocking number of autistics seem to be oblivious facts. Thing to consider is while autism can make it difficult to stand up for oneself against an oppressor, we all must learn to do so.

 This has been chapter 1 of my autism community manifesto. And I discussed basic folkways autistics should apply to themselves to get along with the community, how to make sure the community stays all-inclusive and intersectional, how people in the community should be proud aware of their own autism now they should learn how to self-advocate and eventually politically activate for the community. I hope you found it useful so far or at least provocative. Next chapter will discuss stuff out is the and social political activism in greater detail. Until then, this has been Charles McIntyre, power and peace to the community!