#i was so fucking salty after that
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your-greatest-queen · 9 days ago
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One of my biggest hater moments in middle school was when my 4th grade teacher had us play Just Dance every day to get us to loosen up and get refocused and every day we would do 1-4 dances before going back to work. She let us pick the songs and I waited WEEKS for my turn to pick a song and I was SO excited to eventually choose Michael Jackson's Ghost of Jealousy.
Finally my turn came and I happily told my teacher my choice and she put it on. And then, she turned it off 30 seconds in because, and y'all will never believe this, the 9 year olds were not vibing with it. And I literally have never recovered from that betrayal
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baejax-the-great · 2 months ago
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If I were a writer at a big game company working on a sequel to a beloved series and the higher ups kept telling me to make the game shittier and kept sending my work back to me to be dumbed down even further somehow, and then once most of the writing was done they laid me and my coworkers off illegally without severance, I'd probably gleefully watch as people trashed the shitty game that shipped.
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a-s-levynn · 2 months ago
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gotta love how my very much tier01 graphic nover isn't just not on it's way still, but they are not even replying to my single email inquireing about when it is gonna get shipped...
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thatswhatsushesaid · 1 year ago
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i mean you’re right about one thing, literally no one asked for this
but also imagine being this close to recognizing how trapped by his circumstances jgy was, recognizing that the key to changing his life would be changing his childhood, understanding that he didn’t receive love and support from anyone around him, and coming to this conclusion about his character. amazing.
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A Pacifist’s Fury and Grief
The one of the things, I absolutely love about the Iwamoto manga, is the demostration of X’s grief and Fury in the wars.
This Fury was first shown to us in the final chapters of the X3 Manga
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Keep that in mind he never acted like this in the final chapters in the X1 and X2 Mangas. The way he acts like this shows that he’s at his limit. It doesn’t show it that often but fuck I love how it demonstrates, that he is not okay and how he views himself. How much he wants sigma dead so the wars can stop. He stopped him so the world is saved and everything is restoring itself so things are going to be okay!
Then the Replaforce mess happens and well…during a mission Blizzard Buffalo against Ice Walrus. Sacrificing himself to save X and look what happened…
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His friend died cause he was weak and helpless to stop walrus.
His mind and his heart where damaged convincing himself that…he needs to be stronger to stop this madness (Hi double for that speech 💥💥) going on a Rampage of grief and Fury. Going on a war path of destruction
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Enter the ultimate armor and if anyone read the manga knows what happens next…
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X was lost in the war that he nearly lost himself because of that grief and fury. To the point that he aims his weapon at Zero, his best friend. How his heart was so wounded from the battles that he nearly forgot who he was…thankfully he was reminded of his heart by General gently embracing him and sacrificing himself.
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Allowing himself to let go of his hatred and rage, and attempted to be better, embracing the blast. Cause of his heart that ultimate armor purifies it self.
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The Moral of the lesson here kids is to never invoke the Pacifist Fury.
Aka don’t piss of X or murk his loved ones.
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ai-higurashi · 1 month ago
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Honestly, they should have given the Kumojacky treatment to Minoton's arc, or at least something similar
#rip Minoton bc he too was following the same pattern as the other two#that is Strong by Undergu Empire Standards- Nice by Undergu Empire Standards - HONORABLE BY UNDERGU EMPIRE STANDARDS#but came after Battamonda and the bugman put the morality bar soooo fucking low anyone had to go digging#and his arc felt like it got cut short#he was starting to get nervous and angry about losing so much. i think it'd have been fun to have an ep that really put him to the test#like finally having a chance at winning but in a way that'd be unfair. maybe one of them is missing. or sick#smth where if one was even a bit underhanded it'd be easy to do. it's so easy to be honorable when you're the strongest and#in a confident position#both Kabaton and Battamonda got broken down before being built up again and better for it. Minoton deserved it too methinks#what's your strength for. what's your honor worth. is it actually honorable to attack people just living their lives. much to think about#I do think the others were sending Ranborgs bc the Ranborgs are stronger than them but HE was sending them bc they're weaker than him#that being said. he should have thrown hands#and there were so many instances where he was attacking just bc he was petty about them having fun instead of also training hard#idk just in rambling mode and my wife already knows all that sjsjsjjsajs#rashi's rambles#hirogaru sky precure#minoton#something deeply wrong with him btw#saltiness aside I do think he's not used to feeling threatened and lacks some sort of self-preservation instincts bc of it#case on point: his conversation with the Kaiserin
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imminent-danger-came · 9 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/acoraxia/751189590385328128/i-do-want-to-like-macaque-but-the-way-the-only?source=share
I feel like this post is wrong, and not just bc I love macaque, just the shadowpeach relationship and the parallels they provide to other relationships and macaque parallels to other characters feels like such a vital part to lmk as a whole. But I'm not good at words, so asking for your imput
I don't want to, like, "gossip" behind anyone's back or anything, so I'll open this up to a discussion with @acoraxia! Hello, how are you, I hope you're having a good day.
(Here's the post if others are interested in readin' it!)
Now, I love Macaque, and I think he's one of the most important characters in the show. I presume "theater kid antics" is referring to Macaque's dramatic nature, but I'd hardly call that his defining characteristic. Macaque is a loser: he's spiteful, he's selfish, he's cowardly, he's paranoid, he's god awful at communication, he's obsessive (particularly over Wukong)...but we've also seen the ways he can put the world/others above himself (3x13, 3x14, 4x10, 4x14), and how he's capable of self-reflection and overcoming his past hurt/hatred ("Wukong was on a path of self-destruction...we all were"). We're, dare I say, at a point now where I'd even call Macaque reliable, in his own way. He'll show up for MK & Wukong, he'll "stick his neck out" for them, and I'm honestly so proud that he chose to stay till the end in 4x14 (versus his choice to run in 3x10). It's wild to me that he's the only 3 of the monkeys who has actually had a positive character arc, but that's just where we're at currently.
I think the claim that you could "remove him from the story and it wouldn’t change much" is greatly downplaying Macaque's role and importance to Wukong, both narratively/thematically and as a character. DBK and Wukong weren't close, but for Macaque, Wukong was his entire world. He (along with Wukong's fear of mortality) was the reason the great Monkey King reached for power in the first place. Both DBK and Azure had their own goals outside of Wukong (not that DBK particularly cared for SWK anyways)—what's important about Macaque as a character is that his motivation and loyalty was only for Wukong, and not towards any greater purpose or goal. Macaque and MK are very similar in that way: neither of them have lofty aspirations, and they are completely content with "quitting while they're ahead" ("Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be" ; "You're the one who wouldn't quit while we were ahead!"). Both hate change, and both have been hurt by their belief in Wukong.
I'm admittedly a bit...I guess confused, by this opinion, as entire episodes (1x09, 2x07, 3x04, 4x10, 4x11) are centered around Macaque and his relationship to both Wukong and MK. Macaque is there to show us the ways in which Wukong has both abandoned and hurt the ones he loves; he's a very important foil to both MK and Mei, as well as other characters like Azure. That's Monkie Kid's main theme right, the fact that you'll hurt your loved ones and they'll hurt you, but you love and care about them anyways (I have a whole tag around lmk's hurt/pain theme, for those interested).
Let's look at a few examples of this, particularly involving Macaque, Wukong, Mei, and MK:
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Macaque: "Come on! Show me the real Sun Wukong! The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me, but you're scared of hurting some kid? Pathetic!"
(1x09 Macaque)
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Sun Wukong: "STOP! If you hurt that kid I'll-" Macaque: "-What. Make things worse for MK?"
(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)
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Mei: "Time and time again I've watched you put MK in danger leaving him to figure out EVERYTHING on his own. Don't you realize you're hurting the people who care about you the most?"
(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)
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MK: "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is? I can’t risk hurting the people I care about—the ones I have left."
(4x08 The Brotherhood)
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(the 3x10 and 4x08 ones are direct parallels in particular, which I know I never shut up about them, but they're so, so important to understand for the Monkey's (+ Mei) arcs.)
In seasons 3 and 4, both MK and LBD have posited that no matter what you do, whether or not what you think you're doing is right, it all leads "to pain". That's an extremely consistent thread throughout the entirety of the show, going as far back as 1x01 ("Whenever I try to do anything, I just gunk everything up!" -> "No matter what I do, it’s going to lead to pain [...] it doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!"). While Wukong never wanted to hurt his loved ones (for the sweet sweet "This isn't what I wanted!" Azure parallel), he did. He's a very flawed Monkey, but he does try and he has changed for the better, and that's what's important, right? That's something even Macaque has understood by the s4 special ("Monkey King really was a bad guy?" "That's what I believed...what Azure would have you believe. Then, he met him: the monk.")
You can't really...pawn-off Macaque's role onto other people. Structurally, we needed a tragic best-friend character who was deeply wounded by Wukong in the past, who has then come to accept/forgive him (for the most part, give-or-take). That way, you can have someone who has seen/experienced Wukong's flaws then defend him, both for MK's sake and in contrast to Azure having a literal world-ending breakdown over (his crush on) Wukong. DBK can't be that character, Azure can't be that character, and the Mayor is a much weaker antagonist for s3, unable to provoke MK + the main gang in quite the same way—as well as being completely removed from the themeing and Wukong's hero/warrior dynamic.
Macaque, as demonstrated in 2x07, views the "hero" as someone who leaves, someone who abandons their friends to the shadows. MK completely up ends that world-view in 3x10, refusing to abandon Mei "when she needs" him ("We're heroes! It's what we do!"). It's literally one of my favorite scenes in the whole show, and it completely hinges on Macaque being there and then leaving (much like Macaque's arc hinges on Mei being the fourth ring).
I'm just like...I personally can't imagine a version of lmk where Macaque isn't there to be a foil to both MK and Wukong. I rewatched Shadow Play just yesterday, and that episode is so delightful, let me tell you:
"Welcome, viewers, to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen! It follows the tragic tale of a legendary Warrior, and how those who bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear..."
Ah you mean like...hurting the people you care about the most, perchance.
2x07 parallels 4x02, especially between the shadow-lamp itself and the scroll—while Wukong's MIA, Macaque regales his memories of Wukong, imprisoning MK's friends and forcing MK to fight "dark" versions of them? Sound familiar?
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(familiar tales...new adventures...)
Which, that's a bit of a tangent, but I do think it demonstrates the ways in which Macaque is important to the foundation of this story. MK and Wukong, Wukong and Macaque, MK and Mei...those are the core dynamics of the show for me, you know. If Macaque wasn't there, I quite honestly don't know where we'd be
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Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"
Like
I'm sorry
Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?
#sonic the hedgehog#knuckles series#knuckles the echidna#knuckles 2024#knuckles whipple#sonic movie#knuckles 2024 spoilers#knuckles series spoilers#fandom wank#Sorry do you just think that this entire show was a sidequest so Knuckles could go back to the Wachowski house and be their kid now like#nothing ever happened?#In the show where episode 1 clearly showed that Knuckles couldn't mesh with the household and that Sonic considered him a roommate?#This place was not home for him. The show was about him finding home. How is the Wachowski household Knuckles' home after he had an epiphany#that his home was with the whipple family??#Ah wait sorry how could I forget. Sonic fans are just used to absorbing canon with a toothpick and picking the parts they like and then#claiming their headcanons for filling in the gaps are canon#Only the things they personally like are what happened of course#Sorry for being salty I'm just annoyed. Like you can have whatever headcanons or fanon you want. Heck I loved all those 'maddie is knuckles'#mom' comics and whatnot. I'm not even saying we have to interpret the media the same way. But Knuckles having a montage and calling being#with the whipple family 'home' happened. That happened.#A friend and I are running a bet that most people won't acknowledge that it happened unless Sonic movie 3 shoves it in our faces#The universe tests me every day by having put me into Sonic fandom. It is a constant test of one's soul not only to exist in proximity of a#community who you often disagree on big points with‚ but to watch a bunch of loud people claim things are canon but only accept textual#evidence when it serves them. Or to explain a little better#to watch a fandom try to build an 'accepted idea' of what canon is like that becomes so divorced from actual canon that you get people#saying that it's canon and ignoring anything that doesn't fit it because 'writing bad anyways'#Like guys please I am grasping your shoulders. If you don't like canon just say 'fuck you I'm going to make content of this because I think#it's better'. You don't have to assert that everything you believe is canon and ignore when it's not#i just be ramblin
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tadfools · 11 months ago
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Just found out my ex best friend is obsessed with bg3 (which is hilarious since they kept making fun of me for loving it during early access) because one of my beloved mutuals rbed a piece of art they made and it showed up on my dash
I hope your game crashes every time you go to kiss Gale you son of a bitch
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waywardsalt · 7 months ago
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with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;
a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.
linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.
#phantom hourglass#linebeck#loz#legend of zelda#salty talks#imo the action vs inaction thing feels esp interesting to me when looking at oshus specifically. he and his world are in grave danger#and he knows it and he actively does nothing and even seems reluctant to let ciela and link go ahead and do something.#of course he comes around on it but it's very interesting. has he given up at that point? thats what it suggests to me#that hes like. joined the people of mercay in just lying down and waiting for other people to fix their problems or just. not do anything#otherwise on mercay you have that old guy in the bar who spends the whole game not leaving bc he doesnt want to face his wife#and she never goes to the bar to actually look for him and just talks about it if anything#the guy with the blue tunic talks a lot about linebeck and his ship and almost gives the impression that he really wants to talk to him#but yknow. doesnt. theres the women that tells you about docks being shut down and how linebeck is the only person who's showed up#the woman you see at the broken bridge who's just like oh well! time to wait til someone fixes it.#even the guy fixing the bridge iirc is like well fuck i gotta do it or else oshus is going to bitch at me abt it#everyone seems reluctant to act which makes for an interesting way in how our main crew stands out#it is less so oh theyve been chosen specifically for this its moreso they're the ones who are fucking doing something about this#for their own various reasons some of which are more selfish but theyre still doing something#will likely have more stuff to say when im done but ofc we have other characters in the game who have to do with this#anyways. linebeck is so animated all of the fucking time it's great i dont think theres any other character that moves as much as him#when he's just standing around to talking to link it's great. he's so ready to get going.#it works with him being an anxious mess and also with like. oh he's probably understimulated. you know he's got a nasty case of wanderlust#i can put it with the idea that he's understimulated and afraid to stim in public so he's just constantly moving#he probably drums his fingers on tables bounces his leg when sitting paces around switches the way he sits or lays down often#tbh this kinda fits in with him being one of the main characters who takes action moreso than a lot of other characters#his arc culminates in him taking action he's going after the ghost ship he's moving around the world the only issue is that one of the#actions he takes is running away from his problems literally n metaphorically (tho idk if facing the jolene problem is a good idea for him)
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randomnameless · 6 months ago
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Glancing at something on Ao3 -
What kind of feelings Jerry was supposed to evoke, actually?
FE16 pushes the player - through Billy - to consider Jerry as a good parent, because it plays with the red herring about the evil lizard lady being evil.
And yet, even with all of his misgivings about his kid, Jerry is still the one who calls Flamey's bullshit and wonders if running away from GM wasn't the stupidest decision he ever made, just before kicking the bucket.
Being the cheap copy of the Ike'n'Greil relationship, Jerry's presence and death is supposed to be important to Billy - even in Tru Piss where they look pissed at seeing Emile and working with Uncle'n'pals.
And yet, unlike what we learn about Greil being the chadest amongst chads with 1 (one!) blackspot to his record, whenever you talk to characters about Jerry you're met with... less than rosy thoughts, even if the characters apparently handwave it away.
Let it be with Leonie, or even Alois, Billy learns that their dad wasn't the chadest of chads like Greil, but a drunkard (before Citrus' death, since Alois was a kid!) who apparently played dangerous games with people who idolised him, left his kid alone to be showered with praise by Leonie's village as he dealt with bandits, and left bar tabs all around the continent for his "apprentices" to pay.
Come the "journal" where, imo, we learn that dude was so afraid of his baby not being "normal" than he ran away from the odd lady who saved them "a long time" ago and who's pretty much not normal himself, and the place where his own wife, who displayed - partly - the same "abnormality" as their baby grew up and lived.
Then Nopes happened and did a number on poor Jerry - from mocking their kid's potential aspirations at being something else than a sword for hire, to their singing (done to cheer him up!) and actually learning he at times apparently let them go without food while he never invited them to the "thank you" parties throwns by the people his company saved...
Billy still loves their dad, but is he a good dad by any means?
With all that knowledge, after playing both FE16 and Nopes, can we really feel upset when Jerry kicks the bucket? For Billy maybe, because Jerry is important for them, but does it has the same echo as Greil's death, or even, to remain in Fodlan, Rodrigue's?
I guess if in Nopes, Jerry acted on his heel-face turn (or suddenly growing a brain) from his penultimate FE16 dialogue, we could have had a character growing beyond the red herring and the "unreliable narrator" stuff FE16's first part gave us, and maybe make for a more grounded-complete character, like confessing that he panicked after Citrus' death and worried for Billy, but regrets not being able to bring them the best life they dreamt of, and willing to apologise and let Billy grow in the same environment Citrus did.
Or maybe even explore what Jerry did in 300 years, if he never bothered to wonder why the fuck was he living to be as old as the elites, or his thoughts and feelings about Rhea periodically using hairdye to pretend to be someone else and "aging" even less than him...
Given how - or maybe i'm tainted by the fandom - FE16 thrived on the playerbase feeling characters/situation "relatable" from a doylist pov, I guess Jerry running away with bby!Billy because they weren't "normal" wasn't as weird as it sounds, babies should rightfully have a beating heart!
Bernie is a hikkikomori (forget the part where she's supposed to be the heir of one of the most important lands in Adrestia which would rightfully make her father disappointed with her (lbr, Greg would either have tried to get another kid with Bernie's mom, or got a second wife/bastard, or picked a branch member of his house to take his succession), Linhardt falls asleep and doesn't want to do his job as the next minister of Finances/whatever his dad does and prefers to hyperfocus on academic research ? How lol (please ignore the implications of House Hervring's heir being, uh, not interested in whatever his father does and how he is supposed to inherit his job (at least before Supreme Leader starts her war and pulls out her "reforms")).
Between the brackets are the first arguments that come to mind, if we consider the world those characters live in, aka Watsonian wise.
Jerry is worried about his baby's heart not beating and them not being normal? Jerry, you're not "normal" per Fodlan's standards yourself, you're over 300! Your wife had the same difficulties to emote than your kid and she might or not have had the same "heart not beating" syndrome given how it's her own heart that was transplanted in your kid
You know that what is "normal" for regular humans in Fodlan do not apply to you, your wife or your boss who oddly looks like your wife. So why was that argument even considered when you decided to run away and condemn your child to a life of "sword for hire" and danger at each day ending with a -y ?
IDK, it's as if, in BK, Kalas' bro, born without wings - which is an oddity since apparently everyone is born with some in this verse - finds Kalas weird for only having "one wing" and not two like everyone. It would be the pot calling the keetle back (but since BK is a game with coherent writing, this never happened).
Jerry runs away with the baby because the baby isn't normal despite the midwife assuring everyone they are?
Legit
300 yo Jerry runs away with the baby because the baby has the same condition as their mother despite the "immortal lady who saved his life" assuring him the baby is alright?
WTF
So, in the end, what are we supposed to think of Jerry?
Was he a character who made the best situation out of the shitty cards he was handed regarding their kid?
Or a character who swallowed an idiot plot ball to play with the doylist red herring, made errors but ultimately saw the light before being Clownya'd?
Or, given his supports and Nopes, a shitty character whose only redeeming point is to be Billy's dad, and who receives a lot of leeway by virtue of being Billy's dad by the writing team (given two fans) and the first game being from Billy's POV?
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astrowaffles · 2 years ago
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Noone talks enough about gojo as a cycle breaker. He was canonically neglected by the gojo clan, who would spend a lot of money on him to make up for ignoring him. He was treated simply as a weapon by the adults in his life. We are purposefully told practically nothing about his family so that we can’t imagine him as a son, brother, cousin, uncle.
And yet, when he was put in the same situation as the adults, when he was given a “weapon” to train and prune, he chose a different way. He chose to save yuta and yuji and megumi and many others, and to train them to use their morals & empathy rather than abandon them.
Like. Gojo was fucked over by everyone SO MANY TIMES and instead of immediately killing everyone he chose to become a teacher. Like are you seeing this. This is fr.
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bugwolfsstuff · 9 months ago
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So we all realize that Sigyn probably fucking died on Naglfar.
Like unless she can teleport, her ass is not getting off that ship
She either froze to death or anyone else on that ship killed her.
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chai-en-kaadhale · 4 months ago
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you know the cravings bad when you can physically feel the ghost of the texture/taste in your mouth
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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(so it turns out i never posted this actual video so like.. here. i have so many brain worms about this now cause like. holy shit my dude. once again asking where. OH WHERE. the fuck is/was this character after his return and why wasnt he given a fair chance when all the building blocks were so obviously fucking there.......)
#wrestling#kip sabian#penelope ford#okay one more. i promise im done now (for a while cause im definitely gonna gif the ending of this video lmao)#but like.. yeah. something about this time was so special#and then they fucking fumbled him like no other. i mean there were signs before that too when they didnt let boxman reach his potential#but there was so much fucking promise during this two show run in ddt and so many things they could have done after returning#but no. instead none of this was ever brought up (neither title win or that mask or anything else) and nothing came out of it#nothing for this persona. for that mask. for their dynamic. nothing at all#they werent in television outside of dark for like two months i think#its just such a fucking shame cause he has all the tools and the talents to be a fucking top star. they just arent giving him the chances#not the be constantly fucking salty about this but.. yeah. their time in japan really just proved that#and how badly aew is actually fumbling them. like fucking seriously#anyways. please watch this if nothing else. i do miss this time it was just genuinely so fucking nice#not only to see them actually win shit lmao but also to see the character works and their dynamic evolve and blossom#it was so good and so special. and knowing especially how much it meant to kip like... yeah#aew do fucking better 2k24. PLEASE#anyways im done sorry#my beloved#kip in a box#vampire wife#boxman saga#box thoughts#if you saw me post this before no you didnt lol#the dash is uncooperative so im doing it again dont @ me
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saltynsassy31 · 6 months ago
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I'm no professional and I don't want to claim anything, but I think that maybe, just maybe, perhaps even only hypothetically, I have a smidge of depression
Because tell me why nothing that used to bring me joy brings me joy anymore, and when before I was looking forward to my new future I see nothing; or rather, I still do have a future planned but it all just feels hopeless.
And why is it that despite so many health concerns popping up with too much frequency lately, and me getting somewhat concerned by it, a part of me rather do nothing and just let it simmer and get worse despite that being such a huge fear of mine (dying at home due to some random health concern I ignored).
And despitem my fear of death, the thoughts of self deletus keep popping up with much more frequency and no amounts of "but you have so many projects to do, so many things you still want to acomplish, so many people still relying on you and would be sad if you left" to myself is working anymore and that, frankly, is terrifying in itself. I jumped in so many projects so that I could have something to look forward to, to enjoy and have fun and idk make a future for myself, and yet I find myself unable to do any of them properly.
Or maybe I'm just tired, maybe it's just the heat making me sluggish and lazy and I have neglected my health so much it has made me weaker and thus making me just rot in my own home....
Or maybe I really just need professional help which isn't possible in the moment when my parents refuse to even go to the hospital when I'm in major pain anyway and, despite being an adult, I have no money for these kinds of things and I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO THIS IS TERRIFYING WHERE AND WHO DO I FUCKING TURN TO
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My friends aren't therapists, this blog is too public to air out my traumas, even this is over sharing but no one sees my posts unless it's fandom related to fuck it.
Koko bot will only send me to professional help I can't reach at the moment.
I just
Feel lost????????
And I'm letting so many people down due to my unproductivity right now, this is so terrifying because I'm letting my health get worse on purpose I think and no amount of fear is making it stop.
I'm slowly killing myself and I hate it.
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